EP 103: WHAT YOUR BODY IS *ACTUALLY* TRYING TO TELL YOU

Getting sick or working through an injury doesn't just mean you're supposed to "slow down," "rest more," or "take it easy." Sure, you'll probably benefit from that, but there's actually an entire Source system communicating very specific messages to you based on what's going on.

Today I share stories about gaining 30+ pounds despite following my fitness plan perfectly, as well as my continued herniated disc problems for the last 5 years... and how I solved both.

Injuries, sicknesses, and physical symptoms don't just happen randomly; there's something in your creator field that makes you an energetic match, regardless of what you do physically to "avoid getting sick."

This episode will help you make sense of these messages and why your body is on the same team as you, always communicating to help you get what you want quicker in life - the career, the finances, the relationships, the health, the confidence, and the self-worth.

Instagram: @melissaburkhart_

Website: www.melissaburkhart.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Alignment Show. I am pumped to be back with you here for another week. I have gotten some good feedback on last week's episode, which, if you have not tuned in yet, last week's episode had some dating tea. Okay, we were talking about how to create the most successful relationships and there's some good story times in there. So if you haven't tuned in yet, that's episode 102. But also, I wanted to add in if you send me feedback, I always appreciate it. I'd love to hear from you guys what you're loving from the podcast, what's resonating with you, what you're learning and getting from it. And also if you have topics that you would like me to do episodes on, I am all for that. So feel free to always send me that. And I really appreciate it. But getting into this week's episode, we are going to be talking all about what your body is trying to tell you. We're gonna be getting into how the physical body communicates with you, and it's probably gonna be a system that you have never heard explained this way before. Um, a lot of people, and we'll get into like an example of this, but a lot of people will think that their body, you know, if they're having a symptom or they get injured or they get sick, they'll think that the body is communicating something very specific and it's it's off the mark. It's not intuitively vetted or channeled or cross-checked, it's not coming from the source system of what our bodies are actually communicating with us. And so, because of that, then people end up missing the lesson and then you don't reach your goals as fast. And we're gonna get into all of that. So, today's episode is really about, you know, your physical health, your body, um, body reflections. If you guys have heard me describe reflections before, and if you have not, this will probably be one of the last few times I should just do a whole episode on it. That would be easier, but just to give you a brief overview of what the heck is a reflection. So a reflection is gonna be a challenge or an obstacle or a struggle, just something that triggers you and it can show up through other people, it can show up through situations, it can show up through your body. Um, what it's showing you is where you are out of alignment, okay? You are emotionally imbalanced about something, which is so normal because we're humans, right? If you're not getting reflections, that's when you should be worried because then you're not growing. But the reflection is going to show you exactly what's imbalanced so that once you neutralize that and you do balance the emotion that's causing the reflection, then you actually get what you want quicker because you're getting put back into alignment, back on your soul path. So let's say you get a reflection in your relationship. Well, it's stemming from a totally different area of life. So let's just say it's stemming from a financial place where you are having limiting beliefs about finances. Once you shift that limiting belief, then not only is your relationship going to improve, but you're also unlocking new levels in finances. Okay, and I know that might sound a little crazy if you are new to this, but the way that you figure all of that out is through intuition. So that's just like a brief summary. I'm gonna have to do a whole freaking episode on reflections. I already know it. So let me know if you would like that. But getting into today's episode. So the purpose, like why I'm recording this, is because I, and even still, these thoughts get me. Like, I literally had it happen to me yesterday where I just like didn't feel good and I was like, oh no, like panic attack vibes. I've had so many experiences where something's going on with my physical body and I feel very out of control. And that's just like the worst feeling in the world because you feel like a prisoner to your own body, you feel stuck in there, especially if you're experiencing anxiety or panic attack vibes, are just things that you're scared of, right? Like getting sick sucks. It's it really, it really scares me like sometimes, okay? And so when you feel out of control with that, then well, you're giving away all your power, and then you're spiraling even worse, you're crashing out harder, and you're just making it like a way worse situation for you. And it's because of the uncertainty. So I, with this episode, I want to remove the uncertainty that you might experience around your physical body and health issues or symptoms that you have. Because man, today's world can really make it seem like a dead end, especially with Western medicine and big pharma telling you, like, oh yeah, here's a pill to fix that, and you just take it for the rest of your life. And then that pill causes another problem. Well, that's okay. We've got another pill for that problem. But then the second pill causes a third and fourth problem. But then the third problem, it's gonna get contraindicated by the first pill you're taking. Do you know what I mean? Like it's it's not it, that system does not work forever because it's not coming from source. Okay, so the system we're gonna learn today works forever because it is coming from source, and it's actually a beautiful and perfect system because it's coming from source. So overall, I just want to restore your certainty around like your ability to control the outcome and work with your body, right? I just want to empower you. Like your body is not against you. You can solve the physical symptoms, and also not only can you solve them, but you can and will absolutely get soul growth from them, which is the point. Okay, that's the point of the system is to get you back on track quicker so you can reach your goals faster, and then get the growth, get the lessons, and reach your highest potentials, whether it's in career or finances or relationships or your physical health itself, like confidence, self-worth, whatever. That's the point of the system. So the longer that you just ignore it, I'm sorry to tell you that these things don't just go away. Um, they just move into different areas in your life. And then you're just gonna be even more restless because you don't feel good and you're sleeping on your potential. And again, it's perfectly designed this way. Okay, okay. So I want to start off with where people tend to go wrong with this. And this was me too. Like, there's nothing wrong with you if you're like, dang, I've been doing that. There's nothing wrong with you. Like, it's not your fault. We just were never taught this system, but your higher self has brought you to this episode to get the information and help you in not only your next big chapter, but the rest of your life. Okay, so where people go wrong is they'll say things like, and I and you guys, I have been a fitness coach for how many years? Seven, eight years, whatever it is. And I have I have heard these thoughts from so many clients over the years, and I have thought them myself, and we'll be getting into those story times. But people will say things like, my body is working against me, or my body hates me, or I just have a slow metabolism when they can't lose the weight, right? They will make up all of these excuses that come down to the fact that, like, oh, my body is just not on my team. And that is the complete opposite of the truth. I have had this talk with clients so many times, even before I understood this system that we're gonna be getting into today. But your body is always on your team, it is always trying to communicate with you. It is always doing the best that it can with the resources that it has at that time. Okay. And your body, like when you feel uncomfortable in your body, the physical body itself feels just as uncomfortable. Okay, it's you and your body, like you're both living in there, right? And it's not happy either. That's why it's inflamed or it's injured or there's a rash or there's an injury, like whatever it is, right? So that's the first thing we get to establish here is truly understanding that your body is on your team. Now, it'll even get a little bit more nuanced where people will say things like, oh yeah, like it's my gut health and my hormones. Okay, yes, on the physical side, you might have some stuff going on. You might have a very imbalanced gut microbiome, meaning maybe you have a ton of good bacteria and no bad bacteria, or a ton of bad bacteria and not enough good bacteria, or any other combination there that's not balanced the way that it should be for you. Okay, and I've been there. Okay, I have done the testing, I have had the gut health issues. It is a very real thing. I am not saying that it's not, but that is on the physical side, and everything starts in the energetic. Okay, so something makes you an energ makes you a makes you an energetic match to have the gut health issues, to have the imbalanced hormones. Okay, and if you listened to my intuition episodes, you heard me tell that whole story with my hormonal acne and gut health journey and how it all started in the energetic. Okay, I'm not gonna be telling that story again today, but you can go back and listen. So those are a few of the ways where people go wrong. Another one is thinking that, you know, it's like you get the flu or you get a cold or whatever, like you're down and out. And so then people will just assume, well, this just means I've been doing too much. I need to slow down. Okay, sure. But if you are still an energetic match to get sick or get injured, it doesn't matter how slow you are going. You will still get sick and you will still get injured. So, how important do we think it is to understand what makes you a match and how this system works? Pretty important, right? I don't know about you, but like I can handle being sick. I don't think anybody loves it. Frickin' duh. But what if you could get ahead of it and see it coming before it hits your physical body and then dodge it because you shift the emotional imbalance that's making you a match to get sick. And by the way, the emotional imbalances that match you with getting sick, it's there's different emotional root causes to every symptom. So a headache, the emotional root cause of a headache is going to be very different from the emotional root cause of congestion, different from sore throat, different from chest congestion, different from body aches, different from inflammation, different from injuries, depending where they are. Like it is a whole system. So your body is not, if you get sick or injured, the message is not just you need to slow down, you need to do less. I mean, maybe a little bit, like probably. I mean, you're you're probably only gonna benefit from slowing down because I know you, you have a crazy work ethic and you want to do it all, and I get it, but that's not the whole message. And so where people go wrong is they just chalk it up to like, oh yeah, I need to slow down, and they miss the lesson. So then they stay at this current level within their soul's journey, within their growth, and they just keep getting reflections that they might not ever get the lesson. But because you're here, that's not gonna be you. Okay, so I want to go into some examples here. That's really they're really gonna give some more context. So I'm gonna share two different stories here, and I want you to just see what you get from these, see if you can find like the thread of what the actual hell was going on, and we will circle back on that after the story times. Okay, so the first one here. Some of you know, I used to compete in bodybuilding, and well, the last time I competed, things did not go so well for me, especially post-show. So if you're not familiar with how bodybuilding works, you have to be very strict on competition prep. Okay, you're tracking macros, some people do a meal plan, it's the same concept, just controlling what you're eating, right? You have to be very strict with your food, very strict with your training, because you got to retain your muscle while you're not eating enough. And you want to be jacked on stage, but you also want to be lean. It's you have to work very, very hard. Same thing with cardio. Like by the end of it, you're doing 45 minutes to an hour to two hours of cardio per day. Sometimes it ends up being two a days. And it is brutal. You have to be very strict with your hydration. Make sure you're drinking the same amount of water every day. Typically, that's why you see bodybuilders carrying around a gallon jug because they're drinking one to two gallons of water per day, which to the average person is a lot, yes. Um, but bodybuilding is a very extreme sport and it's a very selfish sport. You have to be very strict with your sleep. If sleep gets off, like all the other variables are gonna get messed up. It's hard to track your progress, your data, which is important for your coach to know so they know when to adjust things for you. AKA, should they lower your food, should they increase your cardio, based on the timeline we're on. Okay. In bodybuilding world, a prep is uh usually 16 to 20 weeks. The pros will go longer, sometimes they'll go shorter, though, if people are really lean. It just depends, of course. Um, but it's a long time where you are just following everything to a T every day, over and over again. And I will have you know, this was great for me as a perfectionist because to me, I was like, if I check all these boxes every day, I'm the best at what I'm doing, and that means that I am successful. And it was just a whole thing. I probably the way I'm talking about this, it sounds like, oh my gosh, she like really didn't have a good time. No, I had a great time. I loved prepping. I loved the mental side of it. The first time I prepped and competed, I was in law school, and that prep was the only thing that was keeping me grounded and like getting through just how rough of a time that was. But it's kind of like when you're in a toxic dynamic with someone and you have these blinders on, you're like so tunnel-visioned that you can't see like all the cons. Like you're just so in it, and you're like, this is awesome. Like life was so good through that lens. So then what happened was well, let me finish explaining bodybuilding before we get into the timeline here. So you're prepping, you're prepping, you're prepping, you compete, you do show day, you look insane, you have the really dark spray tan on. And even though the people look insane on stage, like they look jacked, they look shredded, they're tan, whatever, on the stage lights. You see them off the stage and you're like, oh my god, this spray tan is crazy. Um, which I I always liked it because I just like I love a tan. Like I'm a more is more girl. Not that I would like ever do that again and go out into the world and be like, I got a great tan. Like, no, that's clearly a bodybuilding spray tan. Um, but anyways, on showday, you actually feel so horrible. You feel like so depleted. You feel like death, you're hungry, you're tired, you're thirsty because you're not drinking a lot of water on showday. It's it is wild. It is like the craziest experience. And if you've been through it, then you know. But if you haven't been through it, I don't recommend. You don't need to go through that experience. Okay, I did that enough for both of us. But what happens is you compete, then that night you got to eat, and then you feel like even worse all night because you haven't had food like that in so long, and you're like nauseous and you're messed up and your digestion's awful, and then you gain like five to seven pounds of inflammation and water weight, and it's just a horrible like rebound, depending on where you're at mentally. A lot of people struggle with binge eating afterwards. Eating disorders can get developed from this, or even disordered eating gets developed from this. Like it is it is gnarly, okay? But ideally, you compete, then you start what's called a reverse diet. And essentially, what this is is exactly what it sounds like. You'll slowly increase your food and slowly decrease your cardio. It's so funny, you guys. You could probably scroll back on the alignment show and find episodes about reverse dieting if you really wanted to learn more about this. But, anyways, that's the point. Okay. And the reverse is almost more important than the prep because as you prep for a competition, you really downregulate your metabolism. So your body cannot handle a lot of food. And where people go wrong, even with just like a diet, not even a bodybuilding prep, is they will go on the diet, they'll lose the weight, and then they'll just go back to how they used to eat. But because their metabolism is downregulated to like, oh, you know, 1400 calories or 1200 calories or 900 calories is my new normal. Your body can't metabolize the food beyond that. So if somebody goes and has like a 2,500 calorie day, guess what's happening with those extra calories? They are immediately getting stored as body fat. Okay, and that's why people gain all their weight back. So the reverse is just as important. You're in a very fragile state after you compete. Well, no problem for me, the perfectionist, I will follow everything to a T. I have not ever like struggled with a reverse diet physically, mentally for sure. Um, but physically, I check my boxes, like I do my things. Okay. So going into this story. The last time that I competed in bodybuilding was November 2nd, 2019. So, right before the holidays. And again, if you listened to the intuition episodes, you know the story of straining my hamstring and show day went awful for me, and there was even like a psychic situation with that. Go back and listen if you haven't. But this is right before the holidays. So then I go back home. So this is out in California because I had moved to San Diego that year. I go back home to Kansas for Thanksgiving. I go back to California, and then I go back home to Kansas for Christmas. And I was like filming my workouts at home. Like I was still very, very, very, very lean. But because you have such extreme body dysmorphia after seeing yourself stage lean, you will just immediately think that you are fat. Like you will immediately you gain like half a pound and you're like, I look horrible. It's all gone down the drain. Like, I can't believe I ruined my body. But it's it's insane, you guys. I cannot explain to you in words. Like you would just have to experience it, and I don't want you to experience it. And if you have experienced body dysmorphia at any level, um, there's an emotional root cause for that too. But regardless, during this time, so I go home for Thanksgiving and I'm still very, very, very lean. I fill my workouts at home, come back to San Diego, then when I go back home for Christmas, I film my workouts again, and I the difference in my physique between Thanksgiving and Christmas, which is what a month, in my eyes was like so horrifying. I was like, oh my god, I'm going backwards. I've lost all my progress. This is awful, etc., etc. Now, obviously, most of that was my perception. Some of it physical, yes, because I was gaining back healthy weight. But I was like, I was crashing out. Okay. I remember texting Lexi daily during this Menti B that I was having. Specifically, I can't, I think it was a Christmas trip because I was just not having a good time. And she's like reassuring me, like, you know, you're you're getting healthy, like you look healthy, you look fine, like just being my bestie girl, you know? But what was happening when I was home for Christmas, because I brought my scale with me, my body weight scale, and I was weighing myself every day because that's how I operated at that point in my life, and I had to for prep, obviously. Every single day that I was home for Christmas, I was gaining a pound every day consecutively. So, like in the course of like four or five days, I had gained four or five pounds. Despite following my plan to a T, hitting my macros, checking my boxes, training, doing my cardio, like all of it. And that is when I decided I am done weighing myself because it was not helpful at all. So I stopped doing that. But at this point, I thought, like genuinely, I thought, that I was just, I had peaked. I thought I had totally screwed up my body. I was worried about judgment around me, which I'll get to that. Um, but to give you some insight, like I okay, the last, like I didn't have my period for three consecutive years. And part of that is on me because I started a bodybuilding prep without regaining my cycle. And also part of it is on my coach at the time. He should not have let me prep. But you know, I was a girl who was just determined couldn't be stopped, so who knows? I probably would have just thrown a fit, anyways. But over this time period, I didn't have a period for three years total. I was extremely inflamed. I kept getting injured. We had the hamstring situation, my herniated disc situation, which we're gonna get into that story today. Things just weren't really healing like very fast, if at all. Um, just the inflammation was insane, like around my face, even on my forearms, like in my joints. I could feel it like in my My knees and my ankles and wrists, like you guys know what I'm talking about. When you're just like in flame and you're like, this is so disgusting. I hate it. I thought that my hormones were really screwed up forever. Like, forever, ever. I was like, I just permanently damaged myself and I didn't even have like, I couldn't even look down the the timeline of my life of like, what about if I want to have kids someday? I was like, I don't even care about that right now. Like, I just I knew something was very off because, you know, didn't have the cycle and just all of these physical symptoms that I'm probably not even remembering all of them now because there were so many, and I've this is a long time ago, but also I just probably suppressed a lot of it because wow, talk about traumatic and all of it, like in my head, I'm like, I did this. Like I did this to myself. And then also at the same time, I was like fighting my body because I thought my body was fighting me. So with the reverse, I'm telling my body, I'm doing everything I'm supposed to. Why are you fighting me? Why are you doing this? Like, why are you gaining weight? And it was just this like I was butting heads with my body over and over and over again. I thought that it would never respond the way that I wanted it to again. I thought it was gonna be one of those stories of a bodybuilder who like ruined her body and her health forever. Same thing with gut health. It was gut health and hormones. I was like, dude, everything is tied together, everything is messed up. I did this, like, I ended up getting labs done. I was on supplements. I had to pull back on training, which that was the hardest, hardest, hardest part. Because imagine you, oh, I didn't even tell you. I gained 30 pounds from stage weight to like three months after that, which is a lot. Like, even after you compete, gaining like 15 to 20 is for me at that point, was would have been like healthy weight, but I gained 30-ish. And I, oh my god, I just remember seeing the weigh-in on like a doctor's visit I went to, and I specifically, here's another reflection, I specifically faced away from the scale when they weighed me. That was like summer 2020, so like six months after, six, seven months after. And then she's like, Okay, that's fine. And then when I go to leave the doctor's office, they give me the piece of paper that like has all your notes on it, and I see my way in, and I was like, Oh my god. I was like, and then I probably had another crash out that day. I can remember exactly where I was. It was hot outside. It was like a weird place. That was not a great doctor's visit. Anyway, a lot was happening. So, so imagine telling someone who loves training, competes in bodybuilding, then gains 30 pounds, feels out of control with her body. Imagine telling her, yeah, you can't train right now. What? I'm like, that's my one thing. You're taking away my one thing. Like, I'm I'm gonna crash out. Like I'm just gonna implode. And the reason that I couldn't train is because my body was under so much stress that training was just adding more stress. It was not helping me. It was actually hurting me and making it, making everything worse. So at that point, I was working with a friend who's also a very successful coach. I would definitely refer anyone to him. Like he's so knowledgeable on labs and hormones and coaching, like all of it. And so he was like, all right, you have to pull back on training. You can only be doing yoga, go on a walk every day, do box breathing on your walks. Like it was all of these things, these new protocols that were the complete opposite of what I wanted to be doing. And I thought that all this was just gonna make me like fatter. I was like, cool, like I just I'm a slug. Like I just get to look worse and worse and worse because apparently what I want to do is bad for me. So that's where I was. This was like summer 2020. So again, about six-ish months after I last competed. But keep in mind it took a little bit of time for me to gain the weight and get to that point, which it was still too fast for my liking, but um, that's kind of what the timeline looked like. So let me also add with this timeline that it was COVID times. You've probably already deduced that from just how I'm explaining it. Well, obviously, at that point, we're out of the gym. So even in like when did everything close down? It was like March, right? Even in like February of going to the gym, I felt just like weird because I prepped at a gym out here that is very well known for like bodybuilding and like it's it's awesome to prep there. Like it's a really good environment. Um, if you're prepping. If you're not prepping, not a great environment. Some people, not not everyone. Okay, there's definitely like nice people there, but a lot of people are on steroids, so they are angry and they are grumpy because they're hungry and they're tired and they're depleted because they're prepping. Like it's just, ooh, you would not catch me going there anymore. But I felt really weird because um, for the longest time, like the last, you know, six plus months, I'm going in there, everybody knows I'm prepping, I'm really lean, I look leaner every time they see me. But then going back in like January, February, I'm thinking back to these pictures that we took, I I looked fine, but I wasn't stage lean anymore. But I also hadn't gained like the 30 pounds yet. And I just felt really weird. I was like, I feel like these people are judging me like they know that something's wrong. They think I messed up my reverse, they think I'm binging, they think like mentally I'm not okay, and it was just those thoughts. That was a whole other thing. So, anyways, everything closes down in March, right? Well, wild because this is like six years ago right now. Um so we're out of the gym, and some of you guys, maybe, if you're OG OG, you will remember Lexi and I filming our workouts in our backyard here at the house I live in, where we had broom boy and we would put like gallons of water on the broom and like make a barbell situation. You guys, those are some of the fondest memories. I, if you were there for those, then you you're a real OG. And if you weren't, it's it's okay. Just know that we made the most of it. So, anyways, as time goes on, we start going to like speakeasy gyms. We were training um with a trainer in his garage gym for a little bit, and LOL at this point, you know, everyone's losing their freaking minds online. And we got called out for training with him, but the girl didn't tag us. And I'm like, listen, if you're gonna talk some smack, tag me next time, like for real. Um, so, anyways, we were doing that, and then we were also going to there was another like what what I would call like a speakeasy gym, um, a ways from here. Like, we were driving like 45 minutes one way, dude. And at that point, we were just like fiending for gyms, right? So this is probably like definitely like April, May, I who know, I don't even remember, June. Like it was warm outside. Tell you, it ended up getting very, very hot where we were going. Um, it was kind of more like inland, so it's hotter there, but it definitely summertime. So, anyways, we're driving super far, and you know, getting back into the gym, I just I was like, oh, cool, like I'm still strong, and I'm like doing exercises with the same weight that I was using before everything closed down. Okay, silly, silly, silly. I had to talk to a lot of clients about this when their gyms were reopening after all the COVID times. It was not good. Nothing was okay. I I'm gonna save that for the next story because it's gonna go in, it's gonna go along with that. But the point is, during this time, I'm having all these spiral thoughts about my body image being horrible because the last time that people had seen me, I was lean. And then everything closes down, and I'm super anxious about going back into any gym and seeing all of my gym friends because they're gonna see me and be like, whoa, what happened? Okay, so that's where I was at. And then we're gonna we're gonna put a little pin, pause, okay, we're gonna talk about how I solved this in a little bit. Okay, so keep that in your back pocket. Next story. This was happening at the same-ish time. So during the timeline that I was just explaining, like I said, we were all out of the gym, and when I went back, I'm doing exercises using the same weight, my back starts hurting. My low back specifically. Just kind of like in the middle, like mid-low back. And so I'm like, dude, what is going on? Like, I've never had an issue with this. I've never had an injury in this way. I'm having my friends look at my form with like RDLs. I'm like, am I doing them wrong? Like hip thrusts, am I doing them wrong? Like, I've been training for years, but I'm I'm open to feedback. I'm like, damn, maybe I'm like hurting myself here. And they're like, no, like you're good, everything's fine. But for some reason, this low back pain just got to be more and more and more. It started as like a very general, not even like a throb, just like there's an aura there of like pain. But it wasn't limiting, it wasn't sharp or stabbing or anything like that. It's just generally there. And nothing in particular happened. Like there wasn't an acute injury, but over time it just kept getting worse, kept getting worse. It did not matter if I trained, if I rested, if I stretched, if I focused extra on recovery, if I did yoga, if I went on a walk, if I trained harder. Like literally nothing was working. And this was the first time in my life where I had an injury like this serious, and I was very worried because I I just kept thinking like I will never be the same. And that's really scary to someone who loves training, someone who is slash was an athlete, like is an athlete. I still consider myself an athlete, and who just like loves to move their body. Like it was a dark place mentally. And this went on for years, and it felt like nothing was helping. First chapter I kind of like to go through is I went to a chiropractor every single week. And this was a great band-aid. Like, do not get me wrong, I loved my chiropractor, still love him, haven't seen him for a while, but love my chiropractor. I love chiropractors. You guys are incredible, okay? It's a great band-aid. Like someday when I'm pregnant, I'll probably be going to the chiropractor every week. You know, just to get that relief that nothing else can provide for you. And also, I'm a fan of let's use band-aids when we need to while we also address the root cause. Okay, which we're gonna get there. We're gonna get there. So for a long time I went to the chiropractor every week. Then I was like, okay, I'm gonna hire a uh fitness coach to help me with training, to like program around my back, but help me strengthen my weak muscle groups so that my back isn't a problem anymore. Because what was happening was I had a very weak core and then very weak glute meads, and the glute medius is like the tiny little upper outer portion of your glute. And so when the core and the glute means, I mean, just glutes in general, are weak, your back will take over when you are doing certain exercises, and that's exactly what had been happening. I quite literally was not moving correctly. I had muscular imbalances because I had not been strengthening my core and specifically my glute means. Glute max, they were strong, but there's there's ways, ways to look at movement patterns and tell, like if someone has um weak glute meads. And you learn this like if you take a certified personal trainer like exams or whatever. Um, but you know, when you're just in it, you're like, oh yeah, I'm training like a bodybuilder. Well, bodybuilders don't train very well rounded. Okay, so that's part of what led me to this. But again, that's just the physical side. We're gonna talk about the energetic. So cool. Chapter two was I hired a coach to program around it to strengthen my core and glute meads. This was lovely. This moved the needle. I thoroughly enjoyed my experience. Um, still love that coach. This is a different coach from the one I mentioned earlier, but I would still I would recommend people to him as well. Like, love them both, okay? Cool. So that got me a little bit further. And then I was like, okay, I think I just need, and I remember at this time, I was like, I just don't want to pay for physical therapy. I'm gonna repeat that. I was having the thought of I don't want to pay, that's gonna be significant, okay, for physical therapy. But then I realized, would I rather have whatever it was gonna be in my bank account? I think I paid like 600 for I don't even remember how many sessions. I think it might have been a little bit more than that, but he was just starting out, so I definitely was getting a deal. Um he does like private, he was not working. I didn't go through like the system, because you know me, I'm not, I'm not going through the system. Um, so, anyways, I was like, okay, I would rather pay money and solve this and like figure out what the actual heck is going on than just keep living this life because I'm getting really, I just felt so defeated. Like it was loss after loss after loss, injury after injury after injury, just nothing was working. Some things would help, but I would always like default, you know? So chapter three, I go to physical therapy, love him, love the experience, like quite literally saved my freaking life. I swear to you. This was extremely helpful because I was getting to the root cause, because physical therapists, they're doctors of movement, right? They're assessing your movement. And when you move incorrectly, when you have incorrect movement patterns, that's where injuries come from on the physical side. Again, we're gonna get to the energetic, okay? And the physical is extremely important, always. We are energetic beings and physical bodies, so we need the energetic, we need the physical. But especially when we're talking about this topic today of how your physical body is communicating with you, you're you might have to do some physical support, right? You might need to go to PT. So that helped tremendously. That really got me back to like 100%. Um, and I I would hold that alignment for a little bit and then I would kind of slip, and I would hold it and I would kind of slip. So that was my chapter three. I wanna say that was in 2022, if I remember correctly. I would have to look back. It could have been 2023, but I I really feel like it was 2022. Either way, irrelevant. But since then, since completing physical therapy, I would still get injured about once every like nine-ish months, from what I can remember. Once I got to like a good enough point, I'm like, oh, every nine months, like I get hurt. I just I could never hit the one year mark, which is gonna make sense here in a little bit. So during that physical therapy journey, I proved to myself that I could deadlift from the ground with a barbell again, which is like the scariest move ever, ever, ever, ever when you've had a herniated disc. And so we worked up to it. I like earned the right to be moving that way, and a lot of PT is mental, of like trusting your body. And it's, dude, it is like exposure therapy. It is so hard. In my opinion, the mental side of PT is so much harder than the physical side. Like, yes, the physical side can hurt, not like it an injured hurt, but like, you know, I have weak glute meads, and he's making me do like 50 banded kick things. My glutes on fire, but I could handle that. It's the mental side was so hard. So, anyways, I proved to myself, like, hey, I can deadlift again. And I was I was doing it like once a week, 95 pounds. I was like, I don't need to go super heavy, like 95 was more than enough for me. My legs, like with a deadlift, are just not that strong. And then, and then one day, I wrecked mush it so bad at the gym. It was truly one of the most horrifying, traumatic moments of my life. Like just thinking about it gives me nails on a chalkboard vibes, but I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you. And you might have seen videos like this online, and I hope that you haven't experienced it for yourself, but it was like I'm doing the deadlifts, and I have like one or two more reps left, and I'm like on my third set, final set, I'm like feeling good, whatever. Well, I was getting a little tired, which means I'm compromising form. I'm getting lazy, and what am I doing? Lifting with my back. So I go to pull the bar again, and it was like something snapped, like jerked inside me, and I immediately was like, oh my god. And it's not even that it hurts. It doesn't hurt when it first happens, in my experience. It doesn't hurt when it first happens, but you know, like after you've been through this enough times, you know. I immediately like I go to I I try to pull the bar, my spine busts like a can of biscuits in there, and I drop the barbell super loud, and I'm like, cool, now I look like a douche and I'm also hurt. And at that moment, I'm like, okay, I have about 30 to 45 minutes for me to get my stuff together, get home, and just stay there because after this happens, like you do have a little window where you're mobile, and then for the next couple days, you're done. Like, you cannot be getting in and out of cars, you cannot be driving, you can really can't even really be walking. So I'm trying to be a good gym patron. I'm like, I'm I'm gonna clean this up, uh like put put away my weights and stuff, like put away the barbell, put away the plates, just get my stuff together. I'm gonna keep my cool and I'm gonna get in that car, I'm gonna drive home, and get out of the car, I'm gonna walk up the stairs to my home, and I'm gonna be okay. But you're on a time crunch. So uh so I do that whole thing, and even getting out of the car in the driveway was like, nope, nope, nope, nope. And I, by the way, for most of my injuries with my back, I've been alone because Mac would have been like on deployment or something. It always happened, like, I swear, there were multiple times. There was this one time I can remember now where he left like that day, I want to say, or maybe the day before. And so then that day or the day after, I injured it again. And I like even using the bathroom is so hard. So I go pee, can't get off the toilet. So then I'm like, okay, let me like fall down to the floor. He's gone, dude. Like he's long gone on the ship. And I could not even pull myself up off the floor using the bathroom counter. And I had a freaking casserole in the oven, and I was like, dude, this, oh, I was just on my knees crying in the bathroom. Like one of the worst feelings ever of just like I'm helpless. That's the worst feeling because I'm so independent. I don't like asking for help and just feeling completely helpless. Like to where you cannot even do anything. You can hardly go pee. And don't get me started on the other one because that's no, it's just a rough time. So that um was another one that just popped up here. But going back to my train of thought, so that big injury happened the last time I deadlifted. Have I deadlifted since? Absolutely not. Don't need to, proved myself I could do it. I was like, there's just really no point in me doing that anymore. Like, I'm all good. So that happened. I recover. Then that was probably 2023-ish at some point. I don't know. I'd have to go back and look because I can remember the videos and the photos and my camera roll. But anyways, I recover from that. Then I start training at It Factor in August of 2024. And this is simulated altitude training. If you're in San Diego, come with me. It's the best. The people are the best. The training is the best. Like, literally supported by science, you just become an insane athlete because your respiratory system adapts. Like when you're training with less oxygen, your body becomes so much more elite and just like optimized and functional. And it's wild how much easier it is to exercise at sea level. Like when I go on runs, like on zooming and I'm nasal breathing because I've built this respiratory adaptation inside it factor. You guys, I could talk about it all day, but that's I will not yap. Okay. So, anyways, I start training there. It's group fitness in August of 2024. Well, within like the first month or two, I want to say it was September 2024. Could have been October, whatever. A couple months in, I blow my back out again. Oh my god. So yeah, it happens again. Cool. Okay. So then very careful. I recover from that. Then in October 2025, so I had hit the one year mark. This was the worst it ever was. If you listened to uh the past intuition episodes, I told the whole story, but it was the worst ever. Like I can't, again, nails on and chalkboard vibes. I just can't, like anything with the nervous system, because it's your spinal cord, dude. Like it just feels so sketchy. I could not walk. Um, it felt so wrong. Like I couldn't even walk through the house. I I was trying to grab a wall where there's like no counter or anything to grab onto. No, no, it was just simply not happening. Like it felt so unsafe to even support my own body weight. Okay, Mac had to stay home with me for a day and a half. Like it was crazy. And forget sleeping. Like anytime you move in your sleep, you're immediately reminded it. I don't know, it just it just makes me mad, and that's how it's. It's always been with this injury. So I decided, okay, October 2025, this is the worst it's ever been. I'm over it. I have this wonderful tool called Intuition where I can figure this out once and for all. Because this is the loudest reflection yet. And I I just cannot keep living like this. Like I know that I'm not meant to live like this. And I know that I can shift it. I just, I just haven't. So pause. We're gonna pause there. The solution is coming in this next section. Okay, so getting into how I solved these, we're gonna go back to the first story where I had gained the 30 pounds. I was feeling horrible about my body image, and I just felt like I was screwed. Like truly, I thought my life was ruined. I was like, wow, I peaked, and now I'm just gonna be a freaking slug for the rest of my life, and I can't train how I want to. You know the vibes, okay? So this was summer 2020. And it's very interesting because this was before I had trained my intuition, and definitely before I understood this whole system. But I got this intuitive hit to just say, screw it. I'm gonna love myself. I'm gonna love this body exactly as it is. And the way that I framed it in my mind was I'm gonna try this on like a jacket or like a coat. I'm gonna try it on just for one day. I'm gonna pretend that I am the most confident girl in this body. And if I just can't sustain it, I'll take off that coat tonight. You know, I'll go hang it up. And that was how it started. And I never took the coat off because I felt so much better when I just stopped caring. When I stopped overanalyzing my body and wondering what everyone else was thinking, and were they looking at me and what were they saying? I let go of all that, embraced it, like truly, truly embraced it. I can remember the day that I tried this confidence coat on, we'll call it. That's good. I like that. I like confidence coat. That's not coming from me, that's definitely coming from source. But the first day that I tried on the confidence coat, I was like, you know what? Let's take swimsuit pictures. Actually, I think it was the other way around. It was like, we're taking swimsuit pictures. And I was like, let me put on the confidence coat. And girl, I took such fun pictures that day. I felt great. My girlies were hyping me up, and like I knew that they meant it. Like I could feel that, right? They weren't just saying it to like, oh, like, let's make sure Melissa feels okay today. Like, they meant it. And I was like, whoa, I'm I feel so much better. Like, I'm not stressed about this. I'm not just like constantly like, oh, let me like hold my stomach in and like sit a certain way and like make sure I keep myself sitting straight up so I don't get the rolls on my stomach. And like, I just let all that go. And let me be so clear with you. This was not an overnight thing. And also, something else I never talked about. This was especially hard because my roommate, my bestie girl, Lex, she was literally prepping at this time. We like switched. We were always like opposite with prepping and like not prepping. And so she is over here like getting shredded. She looks great, she's getting all this praise. And all I wanted to do was be shredded too. But I knew that it was not what was best for my body or my health, physically or mentally. So I decided to embrace my quote-unquote thick girl era, and this is subjective, right? I understand that this is gonna look different for everyone. I don't even need to give the disclaimer, okay? In my mind, thick girl Melissa era, okay? And guess what happened? You wanna know what happened? Well, obviously it felt better, but also my glutes made the explore page three times that summer. You know, everybody's taking like the booty picks at the gym and stuff. Yeah, made the explore page three times that summer. And I was like, Bet, look what happens when you embrace the confidence, okay? So that was fun. In hindsight's 2020, like clocking all this proof is so funny now. I haven't thought about this in a while, but telling these stories is, you know, very enlightening. So this was also when Mac and I started talking. We started talking okay, we were like, we met in April of 2020. He was my neighbor. I think most of you know the story, but if not, that's what happened. We started dating our neighbors in quarantine. He and I dating each other, no one else, obviously. Um, but we started like talking, like end of July, and we started dating August 10th, 2020. And he just made me feel so loved, like exactly as I was, and he still does to this day, obviously. Um, but like despite all the body stuff that I was going through. And believe me, like at that time, I was crying on the couch to Lexi every night while she made dinner, crashing out hard. And this girl had to listen to me every single night. And like, you know, that's what besties are for. But he he made me feel just like just fine, just the way I was. Like, just perfect. He I was so lovable. And the thing is, he could only love me that way if I loved myself that way. So that is a testament to creator field work that I had already been previously working on for probably a month or two at least before he and I started talking of I'm gonna embrace my thick girl era, even though it's summer, and in summer you're supposed to be shredded and have a bikini body. F that dude, everybody is a bikini body. Okay, so that was also happening at this time. So the solve was self-love and self-image, right? Like loving myself exactly as I was. And slowly but surely, as the time went on, I started dropping the inflammation. I started dropping the excess body fat. I started dropping the weight. And I was not weighing myself, but I just looking at myself and pictures I was taking, I was like, wow, I feel really good. And even now I can look back at pictures from like three years ago, four years ago, when I was like feeling so good, and now I look even better. And I'm like, dude, it just gets better. And also I'm so proud of myself for being confident throughout the entire journey once I decided to do this, instead of defaulting to like, oh, I need to be I need to be like stage lean again. And do not get me wrong, okay? For the majority of 2020, I was just hyper-focused on like, let me get my period back. Then my one of my coach friends said, once you have a period five times, then you can cut again. So I'm like every time I finally got the period back, and then I'm like counting every month. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm getting closer to cutting, closer to cutting, closer to cutting. And then I just stopped wanting to cut. I was like, it doesn't feel aligned. Like I don't think I'm supposed to do that. And thank goodness I didn't, or else I would still be in that cycle, you know, or I would have extended the cycle longer. I, God, I hope I would have healed it by now. But, anyways, I started looking better, I started feeling better. And because there are very specific emotional root causes to each symptom I was experiencing, so there's a different emotional root cause for the inflammation. There's a different one for storing excess body fat. It would not have mattered. Like it quite literally didn't matter what I was doing physically, with like taking the quote unquote right actions, following my reverse, like doing everything I was supposed to with training and food and sleep and water and supplements and all that. It will not matter if you are still an energetic match to hold on to inflammation and excess unnecessary body fat. And that was the story that I lived. And while it was happening, I was like, dude, I'm gonna lose it. And it was a very long process. But in hindsight, it just all makes really great sense understanding this system of like, yeah, it didn't matter what I did with my nutrition or my training or my recovery or my supplements or my labs or my water. It didn't matter what I did physically because energetically I was a match because I wasn't loving myself the way that I was. Okay, people think when I lose the weight, I will love myself. That's not how it works. It's love yourself first, then you lose the weight. That is deliberately designed by source. You have to earn the right. Everything starts out energetically. Emotions are energetic. So if you love yourself the way that you are, you're gonna stop holding excess unnecessary body fat. It's not the other way around. We live in an inside-out world. Okay. So I want to apply that to the second story about my hernated disc. At this point, right, we left off with October 2025. It was the worst reflection ever. I couldn't even support my body weight. And I said, I gotta figure this out once and for all. So I decided to fully dive into healing this reflection because I had known what it was for years. I just wasn't doing the work to actually shift it permanently, which is why I kept being an energetic match for it to happen. And by the way, this is gonna bring it back around. Do you remember what I told you to keep in your back pocket earlier about PT, where I said, I don't want to pay for this. Okay, so we were having a financial belief there. When this happened, October 2025 specifically, I was nosediving into the deepest mental trenches of my life after a really hard financial year. And what's interesting is my lowest months financially last year were like around May. It was either April and May or May and June. So by October, I had started making more money, but all I could think about was like, I can't let that happen again. Right? I was having these financial imbalances in my thoughts and in my emotions. And so that's why that's why I was in the mental trenches. And that would make sense of why this happened. Because what do we think the emotional root cause is of low back pain? And if you listen to the intuition episodes, you already know this. But the emotional root cause of low back pain is not feeling supported financially. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So now it all makes sense, right? And again, like I would I would like kind of shift my financial beliefs and my back would be good for a couple months, and then I would kind of slip out of alignment and it would be like kind of hurting, and then like every nine months, you know, it would blow out again. Like I just I wasn't permanently shifting it. So I decided to start wiring into my brain and my body how I was safe. Now stick with me here. I know that's not about money, it has everything to do with money because I knew that when I felt safe, that would lead to money. Again, it is not when I make the money, then I will feel safe. It's feel safe, then the money comes. Okay? Let's repeat that because we gotta sink that one into your being. Everybody gets this wrong with money, and I got it wrong for a long time, and I did not learn this or solve this until very, very recently. Okay? It is not when I make the money, then I'll feel safe. It's feel safe, then the money comes. Okay? If you don't feel safe, if you are in this fear-based place, if you're in fight or flight, why would anyone or anything, including money, want to hang around you? Okay, okay, that's a training for another day. But at this point, I specifically was told by my higher self through another intuitive to do breath work. So I committed to 30 days of breath work for nervous system regulation. And even if I only felt better for those 20 to 30 minutes, and then immediately just the old money thoughts came back in, that was still a win for the day. Because I did it. I regulated myself, I got a glimpse of hope and happiness, and I knew that if I just kept going, it was bound to get better. So this practice rewired my nervous system, my brain, my creator field. And by the way, this was when I went from crashing out about paying rent to contracting over$20,000 in 30 days. The work works when you know how it works and when you know what your body is telling you. So that is how I solved that one. Okay. It's not these injuries, like my back was not telling me to just slow down or like, you know, to rest more. No. It's telling me something totally different, right? About my emotional imbalances around finances. And then with my body fighting me, it wasn't just telling me, like, yeah, you just need to like rest more, you need to take some time off. You prepped really hard for bodybuilding. No. No, it was expressing my imbalances around how I saw myself and how I loved myself, aka didn't love myself, right? So also a special shout out to healing my hormonal acne. Again, if you haven't listened to the intuition episodes, go back and listen because I tell the whole story there. But um, I had a whole emotional root cause that made me an energetic match to do a parasite cleanse, which then screwed up my gut health. And then I had horrible hormonal acne for like a year and a half before I did anything about it. And like this was years, years in the making, like 2022 to now. Like I'm getting microneedling now to like get rid of the scarring. Like we're finally to the promised land and I'm getting married in four months. So I knew like timeline-wise, I needed to figure that out. And I did. I did by using this um system, and that story also explains like the physical side and and how it pairs with the energetic as well. So you can go listen to that. But what are we getting from these stories? What would you say are the takeaways? I mean, for one, exactly what we started with like your body is not against you. It is on your team, and it is just communicating where you are emotionally, like where you are out of alignment to reaching your goals. Okay, so these reflections, especially when they come through your physical body, they're giving you a solution to reach your goals, to make the money, to have the better relationship, to scale your career, to, you know, fix your physical health and symptoms, to be more confident, like to love yourself, to have a higher self-worth. Like these things are communicating to you very specific messages through this deliberately designed source system that is perfect. It's just that it's not taught anywhere, right? We don't learn this stuff. But your higher self has decided it's time for you to learn it, and that's why you're here listening to it. Okay, so for this week, just start to notice like if you have any physical symptom stuff popping up, if you feel a little like weird in your body anywhere, just realize hey, this is a reflection, and I can actually control it, I can shift what's happening, I can change the outcome, and just stop there. Like, that's literally all you need right now, is just to bring the awareness to it because you got to work on rewiring the me versus my body beliefs, okay? Because it's not, it's you and your body working together always. And we have to have that in place before you can get to like the whole system and all the advanced tools. Like that stuff won't work. It literally would not be helpful for me to tell you that right now, okay? So just start to play with this. Realize, like, okay, if I have a physical symptom going on, even if you have a headache, yep, that's reflection. Just realize, okay, I'm in a reflective state. I can change this. I'm just gonna bring the awareness to it right now. That's all you need. Okay. And then if if you want more on this, we can do more episodes or maybe a webinar or something like that. Okay. So thank you for hanging out with me today. This was another fun one. I can't wait to hear your feedback. And as always, if you found this helpful and you think it would help someone else in your life, just share the episode. You don't even need to say anything. Just send the link and be like, hey, well, again, you don't have to say anything, but you could say, hey, this is really interesting or this is really helpful, and share it with your people because we want to empower everyone on the planet. And that's a big freaking job. All right. So, anyways, I appreciate you being here. I can't wait for your feedback, and I will catch you in the next episode.