Transitioning from Wanting to Having: Unlocking Your Ideal Life

Ever feel tethered to your current life by a cycle of constant wanting? You're not alone, and the truth is, that cycle could be keeping you from your ideal life.

This episode is dedicated to helping you break free and transition from wanting to having. We're taking a deep dive into why the strategies that got you to your current life aren't the key to unlocking your ideal life. Plus, I'm sharing some personal tips on how incorporating more walking into my routine has been a game-changer for me. I share insights from my recent adventures in Central America, where I witnessed first-hand the power of a simple mindset shift.

I'll also be sharing exciting news about my latest audiobook release. It's time to stop wanting and start having. Let's unlock your ideal life together and make it fast and easy.

Join me in this free upcoming Masterclass! Register NOW here:
https://www.justinwenck.com/ideallife

Check out the Audiobook Version! Get your copy NOW here 👉 engineeredtolove.com

Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!

Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!

Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Welcome to the show. Today I am talking about your ideal life and how to unlock it faster and easier than you ever thought. Isn't it time to stop wanting and start having? That's what today's topic is going to be all about. I've got a few points that I'm going to go over that you're going to go. Oh shit, no wonder this is why things haven't been going the way that I want They've been going the way they've been going. That's what the topic is going to be. I've even made some notes of what I want to make sure I'm going to cover. The three things I'm going to cover is how wanting keeps you having your current life. The second thing I'm going to be going over is what got you here is not going to get you to wherever it is you want to go. The third thing is you just got to stop trying to understand your problem and get over it. Those are the three things I'm going to go over, because it's time to start having and stop wanting. I'm going to be sharing something really special with you at the end on how you can unlock your ideal life way way easier than you ever thought possible Before that. We'll update on what's been going on with me.

Speaker 1: 1:20

The audiobook release, the launch celebration, went really, really well. Super excited by how it went. I already have one review five star across the board. Just super happy with the quality, the content and my voice, which is really cool. Which is really cool because I narrate the audiobook the engineer to love. Going beyond success, fulfillment using tools to relax, recharge and reconnect. That's available wherever you get audiobooks, whether that's audible audiobookcom, your Apple store or your Google store, wherever it is. I encourage you to go check that out. I'm very happy. That went really really well.

Speaker 1: 2:00

The other thing is, for a month was traveling around in Central America. We did four podcasts remotely and been back now for the last two, two and a half weeks. It's always interesting going away for such a long time, such a transformative trip where seeing new ways of doing things, meeting new people, being immersed in other cultures and just living a completely different life. Then coming back and it's like, okay, how do I integrate in all the good stuff into this life? Because a lot of times I've been really trying to watch myself and saying, oh, finally getting back to normal. It's like fuck that normal, I don't want that fucking normal. If I wanted that fucking normal. I would have just stayed in it Really been trying to work on rephrasing it into like okay, finally getting things situated the way I would like them to be. Now it's a little bit of how I'm phrasing. Could you use some work If you got some ideas, I do encourage you to maybe let me know in the comments of where we maybe found the social media posts for this, or send me an email. Podcast at justinwinkcom. Otherwise, you can slide into my direct messages, justinwink, phd, on all your greater social media platforms, except not doing Twitter and still haven't gotten onto threads yet.

Speaker 1: 3:17

As part of that, one of the things was like this was kind of on my radar before I even went on the trip was my lease of where I live was going to be ending at the month of September. It's now the beginning of September. When I got back at the end of August I was like shit, what am I going to do? Find a new place? How is this going to work?

Speaker 1: 3:37

An interesting thing kind of happened because one of the main things that I really was interested in as far as the physicality of the place to live was a nicer bathroom. I kind of love my place. It's two bedrooms. One of those bedrooms I use an office that lets me see the ocean, and when the whales are going by, that's really fucking sweet. One of the things that is like the bathroom is teeny tiny. I'm not a big guy, not a big guy. There's a tub. There's at least a tub. Lessonless places have a tub nowadays. Anyway, yeah, this tub I can only fit half of my body. It's here like I'm getting my legs wet. I'm getting my upper body wet not too much of both at the same time. It would have been nice to have a nicer bathroom. There are some other things that would have been great too, like maybe a little bit more walkable, a little bit easier beach access or something like that.

Speaker 1: 4:26

What I found interesting when I started getting back and integrating some of the things that I was doing before on the trip versus how I had been when I'm on the trip. It's like I'm walking to grocery stores, walking to get things to eat, all sorts of stuff, and I'm going on more adventures, and over the past few weeks I kind of just started to do that here. It's not like that anything could have stopped me, except that I just wasn't in the habit, so like I would just drive to the local yoga studio, just drive to a local grocery store, just drive to the local coffee shop or just drive to a place to hike. And over the last two weeks I've decided, like you know what, I'm just going to walk to that and it's been interesting, like the yoga studio. It's an extra five minutes instead of and that's it. But I get the exercise and the walk and the fresh air and a little bit of nature and same thing with, like, the restaurant, and it's been kind of interesting with the hiking too. If the whole point is to be walking more, why spend the time driving when I could just walk and some great trails start in just a little bit or five or 10 minutes. So why waste five minutes driving when I could be doing 10 minutes of walking, when I'm wanting to walk and be outside anyway? So why do I tell you this?

Speaker 1: 5:48

When I'm was initially talking about finding a new place to live, it's that I got the notice and I was like I don't know if I really like that new rent and the six month requirement was kind of weird. They didn't want me to lock in for a year and I said, hey, what if I just kept my same rent and went month to month. So basically, I'm just asking for nothing to change. And they raised the rent and wanted six month commitment. And he was like, yeah, very likely going to happen, no problem, let me get back to you. And I got back there I was just basically like, well, whatever we were going to ask for the six month commitment, we'll give it to you month to month. So now, if you do want to switch, if there does become a unit available here, you can just keep that same rent, even though likely somebody coming off the street they have to pay a couple of few hundred dollars more per month. So effectively, I kind of already have a new place, it feels like, and I don't really have to pay that much more. And if there does end up being a new place that does have that really awesome bathroom or something that I wanted, I can just move to that whenever it becomes available, if that ends up working out.

Speaker 1: 6:56

So all that to say that it's interesting. So a lot of it's just being open to not doing things the way that they were done beforehand. And so you know, this doesn't have to just be with a trip. This could be with anything you do, to go and grow yourself, as how can you be open to doing things differently, seeing in a new light? So this could be going to a seminar. Maybe you read a book, maybe you met somebody new. I'm sometimes just I find this very interesting.

Speaker 1: 7:26

When I meet new people have like really cool, powerful connections and some people just they don't really. They don't want to open their life to having new powerful connections because it disrupts their life and they just can't seem to find a way. They're too busy to. You know, meet for an hour or a cup of coffee with somebody like you had a really good connection, really awesome, beautiful, whatever with. I don't really take that personally anymore because I know just not everybody is up for that or wanting that in their life. But I'm as somebody who's listening to the show. You're somebody that's not like the typical person out there. You're looking to expand your world, you're looking to do more, you're looking for a more powerful, impactful life. If you're not, then why the fuck are you listening to me, right? So if you do meet somebody like really amazing, wherever, do take that little time to open up some space in your life to reconnecting with them. You just, you know that one hour, maybe every two weeks, every four weeks or something, and you might go like I'm busy. Well, I, like in the book, I say fuck busyness, embrace humanist humaneness, what it basically means.

Speaker 1: 8:40

There's a lack of priority in your life. If you just met somebody super amazing, you don't have time for them. You're basically telling yourself I don't have time for what I've been asking for, which is going to lead into the main topic that we're here to talk about what in your life needs to go? What do you need to go? Hey, this is not important. Could be a, could be a relationship, could be an activity, or could just be some other time waster, like you know on Facebook or maybe the news, or maybe just you know eating or whatever it is you just start looking like where's your time going? And when something amazing comes in and you're not going to make time for that, especially if maybe that amazing person, place or thing is making it so easy for you and you're saying no. So this brings me to the topic of the day. Is you know, would you like to have your idea life and are you tired of just wanting? Are you ready to start having? So I mean seriously, because if you're not Just stop listening, just stop watching, just stop, just stop Go, do, go, do anything else. But if you are really like I'm Justin, I'm fucking done with going on the hamster wheel again and again of like, ah, I'm finally gonna get my health into the state that I want it to be. I'm finally gonna like get the relationship Romantically in the way that I've always wanted, whether it's meeting that person or maybe already have that person. Yet Maybe you've lost connection, or maybe you just realized the connection really wasn't what you always wanted in the first place. Or maybe it's sick.

Speaker 1: 10:14

Your career, your impact in the world. There's just something like you're successful, you're making good money, but yet there's just something like, oh, is this really all? There is just making this money, but how the fuck am I making it? What's? What impact may I leave on the world? Or maybe there's just something you want to create just for the sake of creation. Maybe there's a book you want to put out there. Like I put out a book already and I'm I've got, I've got ideas for another one. I've already actually written the first chapter of another book. Uh, we're not going to get into that now. So there's probably something that you're just like ah, it's, something's missing, there's just something not quite right, and many successful people find themselves in the situation I know I have in the past and I have some very important things that are probably not helping you out, and so the first of those is Basically this idea that wanting is what's keeping you in your current life so effectively.

Speaker 1: 11:08

If you're just wanting something that's basically adjacent to the neighborhood of complaining and complaining Is such a fantastic way to keep the friends and the family having your life and stay connected, um, through basically just bitching about what you don't have and so, even if something good does come up, you might be amazed at how you just find ways to let it slip. Because if you actually had it and then the rest of the people in your peer group didn't, you're gonna be like the weirdo in that peer group. If you actually won the lottery and you kept that money and you turned it even more money and everyone else was the same socioeconomic status, they're gonna feel like uncomfortable, like they became part of your world because they were part of that world when you didn't have the money, you didn't have the success. If you change your level of success In whatever area. So maybe you're just successful with Dollars, yet your complete shit show in other areas of your life. I'm gonna guess. Probably you have friends that one way or the other, support this. Maybe they put on the same show like you do.

Speaker 1: 12:19

Like you know, come new years, it's oh, let's go to the gym and you put in a half-ass attempt, but ultimately, you know, come november, december, you're five pounds heavier than you were the previous year and you just have the same goal. So If all you do is want it's really allowing you to keep and have the life that you have, and the point is you got to stop doing that. And you might be like, how do we do that? I'm going to tell you away when I get to the end of this episode. Um, and it's don't, don't worry, it's not going to cost you anything. Yeah, but just keep these things in mind and you can always Just stop doing these things. You don't need you don't need me to do it. There's lots of ways that you can stop doing these things.

Speaker 1: 13:02

The second, the second thing is this concept of what got you here? Is it going to get you there? So Think of it like you have a super sports car that got you from New York to California. That's basically how you got to where you are in your life now. It was probably an awesome ride. Maybe there were some challenges. It was probably really long. It was challenging. Maybe you almost fell asleep and hurt yourself. Maybe the car even broke down at times because it's a sports car and a little finicky. You were just redlining because you wanted to get there as soon as possible, but the harder you drove it, the more likely you were to run into something or something was going to break down.

Speaker 1: 13:46

The point is, you're in California, I live in California, I love California, but California is not necessarily the Beale Indole, especially if you're like me and you like some palm trees and some coconuts and shit like that and beaches where the water is actually warm. So maybe now you want to go to Hawaii. That's okay. That's the part of life is having these new desires and to go for them and get a taste of it and bring them to reality. And then you do the whole thing over again.

Speaker 1: 14:15

Yet the problem is we think what got us here is going to get us there. So that sports car. Last I checked there's no bridge to Hawaii. This isn't the world of Bojack Horsemen, where they built the bridge to Hawaii. It's not going to go well, it's not going to get you there at all. In fact, you're probably going to get a little distance and then you're going to be waterlogged and you're going to get your car fixed. So, if you're lucky, maybe you realize that you need a boat. Yet there's other ways to get places, and I'm here saying I'm at the end of this, going to tell you about the jet plane that will get you from California to Hawaii Super, super fast, super, super easy. Yet again, I'm not here to make you do anything. So if you want to stay in your boat, that's great too. Or if you want to keep doing the car method, cool, but to me I don't get it. Come jump on the plane. I'm captain of the friendly skies here. Let's go, let's have some fun, let's go do this together. It's going to be really fucking awesome. So what got you here isn't going to get you there.

Speaker 1: 15:23

So, also tied into this concept, the second point I want to make is how do you feel about your current life? Now, I'm guessing there could be some fear, maybe some obligations, like you're doing some things just because you feel like you're half to, you're supposed to. That's what you signed up to in the relationship, the job, whatever. Or maybe there's a little bit of guilt or shame. That do you really deserve? Do you really deserve any more than you have? And so you just keep doing because it just feels like you're supposed to and to want or do anything different. There's maybe something bad about it Nothing, nothing. I'm gonna guess that maybe the path that got you to where you are had a lot of that, those same feelings, where it was fueled by fear, obligation, guilt.

Speaker 1: 16:11

This is the fog that I talk about in my book, and that's how I got a lot of my early successes, too was like, oh fuck, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to like live with my parents if I'm not, if I don't get a good job and make money. I don't want that. So I better. I better make sure I do good in school and better make sure I didn't get in my job. And then, okay, I better not do anything like too weird. I better not like start a podcast or fuck like do social media posts where I talk about my family or talk about my life or talk about what I want or my challenge is I better not do that. That's like just not right. That bring a lot of shame onto the family.

Speaker 1: 16:47

So you probably did have a lot of fear, obligation, guilt and maybe anxiety, depression and all that sort of stuff that got you on your path to where you are now, and Maybe you have a lot of stuff still. So sometimes how we got to one place is what it's gonna feel like when we get there, and so do you actually want to have a life of more fear, obligation, guilt, or does your ideal life look like there's a lot more joy, like fun, excitement, like growth? You know amazing people like friendships, connection, like love, romance. So if that's what your ideal look life looks like, maybe the way you get there is gonna involve a lot of that too. Less of the old stuff, more of the new stuff. I don't know. That might be a little bit of a part of what what I'm you talking about here later.

Speaker 1: 17:38

The third thing is so much of how people live their lives. How you've been living your life, is focused on your problems, and how are you gonna solve the problem? How are you gonna solve the problem of health? How are you gonna solve the problem of even more money, how you gonna solve the problem, having impact on how you gonna solve the problem of having the right people in your life right? And when you're so busy trying to understand the problem, you're still underneath it, you're still being weighed down, when really it's all about getting over the problem and just getting beyond it and getting into that world of yeah, what, what's the point of this? How do I feel? What am I doing? What is this enable? Like, whom I impacting? Like getting over it. And Again, this also leads to having the feelings that are associated with that now and using that as the vehicle, the vehicle to get you to your ideal life. So there's the life you have now, which I'm sure there's a lot of great stuff.

Speaker 1: 18:37

I'm not saying that you got to give up any of that. What I'm saying is give up the stuff that's not working and let's put in the stuff that does work. And you're probably Justin what, what, what works like. And that's the whole point of I got an upcoming offering. It's free. This is a hundred dollar offering, I think 97. I'm offering a completely free, and so when this comes out, you should still be able to register for it.

Speaker 1: 19:04

Live, I'm gonna be having it September 20th at noon Pacific. Yet if you're like watching this late or you know you missed it, I'm gonna make the recording available for free for seven days too, because the end of the year is Almost up and I don't want you to end up this year like you did last year, where it's like, oh fuck, I just marginally got like a little bit better, but ultimately the things that really matter mate to me. I Didn't even move the needle. It's like this year is like the last year. Just I'm one year older. When you're closer to whenever I'm gonna die. Let's get real. Let's get real. Every year that goes by, that's one last year.

Speaker 1: 19:39

You have to live the life that you could be having, that ideal life, and I Live too many years like that and I've known too many people and, if you know now, had too many people die in my life. You know my grandmother this past year, my mom the last year that I really I just don't want you or anyone you care about. So that's why I'm gonna be showing you a super simple, super straightforward technique of how to actually start having and stop wanting, and it's called the unlock your ideal life 10x faster and easier masterclass and you just go to Justin winkcom slash Ideal life. So just a winkcom slash ideal life register for free. Again, even if I can nested live, it's gonna be live September 20th I. And again, this is also available in my book too, so you could just get my book and I teach the same technique in the book.

Speaker 1: 20:40

I'm not going to tell you which exact ones, because it's going to be half of the fun. So, for even less than getting my book on Kindle for absolutely free, I'm going to teach you one of the techniques, and the thing is for me is like I continue to grow, I continue to evolve, and so the way I'm going to be teaching this and giving this to you is going to be even better than how it was in the book. So you're just not going to miss this, even if you do already have the book and you've done all of the exercises, which thank you so much. That is so fucking cool. Yet even if you don't, this is not. I have enough book sales. I don't need. I don't need anymore. I really don't. It's done what it was meant to do. I'm very happy I did it.

Speaker 1: 21:22

I'm on to helping, connecting with more people, helping them have their ideal life, cause when more people have their ideal life like, it just makes the world a better fucking place. Like you know, I'm still a little bit optimistic, even though I'm incredibly pragmatic and nuts and bolts, like I only do stuff that works and this technique that helps you, basically, you know, get over your problems, have a new vehicle to get to where you want to go and get you out of the mode of wanting Like you I call it. You know, 10 X faster and easier to unlock your ideal life. And it's. It's one of those like well, the faster part that that could technically be quantifiable Cause maybe you know, maybe you've lost 10 pounds before and you know like, oh, that took me, that, that took me 10 weeks. So you're telling me this is going to take me one week.

Speaker 1: 22:10

I this is more on the, the, the easier part, which is a little bit more qualitative than quantitative, and qualitatively the easiness is off the charts. So I feel very comfortable doing the, the 10 X faster and easier. So we're, you know, for rexing. So maybe it still only takes you 10 weeks. Shit, maybe it. Maybe it takes you twice as long to learn that 10 pounds. But if it was. But if it's a hundred times easier and took twice as long, uh, isn't that, isn't that a no brainer? Wouldn't you want a hundred times easier? Like, just, it just feels like it happens easily, magically, and that's that's what I'm going to be teaching in this masterclass, totally free.

Speaker 1: 22:46

And again, you know a hint, if you can't wait, it's in the it's in the it's in the book. It's one of the chapters, one of the exercises in my book. But again, you don't need to do the book, cause I'm going to do this for free and you don't even have to worry about like, oh, can I make it? Not make it, although if you make it live, you get to ask questions, uh, which can always be a little bit more valuable.

Speaker 1: 23:03

Yet you're probably also one of those types of people that, like, you're going to figure it out and you're going to nail it, knock it. I don't know, I'm not good at sports ball. You're going to do great. So, with that, I do thank you for listening and I really do want you to stop wanting and start having. But I want you to have your ideal life and I wish you have it fast and easy, cause, if it's possible, why not do it, you deserve it. Uh, just because you want it, you really don't need much more reason than that. So with that I thank you and good day.