Happiness: Your Secret Weapon for Success

Can happiness breed success and not the other way around?

Yes, you heard right. We’re flipping the script on the age-old belief that success begets happiness, and we’ll show you why happiness is not only an obligation to yourself but to those around you.

In this animated discussion, we debunk the myth of happiness following success, rather than focusing on how our emotional state influences those around us and our journey to success. We’ll delve into the art of understanding and taking responsibility for our emotions, and how this awareness can truly transform your life.

Ever wondered how you can maintain a positive mindset even when the chips are down? We've got the answers. Listen in as we share stories of resilience and triumph in the face of uncertainty, like navigating the highs and lows of working in a tech company during a recession. And for those of you who are keen on taking this journey a step further, we are offering a limited number of private coaching sessions. 

Don’t miss out on this opportunity to create a life filled with ease, joy, and incredible experiences.

Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!

Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!

Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.

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Transcript

Justin Wenck: 0:00

Today I'm talking about your obligation to be happy and if you're a big fan of mine, been listening to a lot of the things that I do, read the book. You might be going why the fuck is he using the word obligation? I'm going to go all into that. Tell you about that. I do have some exciting stuff coming up. You're definitely going to not want to miss this show and the other things that I got, that I'm stern getting ready to go for the rest of this year Because I don't know if you've checked the calendar, if you're watching these live, if not, it's OK.

Justin Wenck: 0:31

And this calendar same thing happens every year. It's currently just first week of October and it's like wow, that means three months left till the end of the year and there's kind of usually that natural of like, oh boy, calendar year, how can I get that done? I'd make what I wanted to happen happen. So, yeah, so this is got some things coming up so that you can actually complete the year feeling good, feeling great, and you're heading into next year going like I can't wait, I'm excited, I'm already ahead, because that's sometimes that's the worst thing is already feeling behind. And when you're behind, sometimes you just like you don't even want to play the game, right?

Justin Wenck: 1:13

I know when I was, when I was in college, I had a roommate and I'd play racquetball with him and he was the president of the racquetball club at the university and he would just kick my ass every single time Like maybe I would score a couple points on him. There was one day where I think he was having an off day, something was going on, but I was actually ahead of him, I was about to win, and then he realized he's like oh, oh, no, this is not happening. And he came down from like 10 points I can't remember how many points in racquetball, but the point is I should have. You know, it should have been a win for me if anyone would go and but he comes from behind, he wakes up and then poop, poop, poop, poop, poop and he beats me. And after that I'm like, all right, it doesn't seem like there's any chance of winning. I'm just not going to play anymore. So wouldn't the game of life be a lot more fun if it felt like you had a chance of winning, or at least you felt like a winner while you were playing the game? Because that's the other thing is, there really is no winning, there is no losing, it's just an ongoing set of games. So the whole point is are you enjoying your life? If you're not enjoying your life yet, then you really, you know you want to keep listening to the show. You want to probably talk to me, do one of my master classes or do someone on one coaching with me.

Justin Wenck: 2:38

So why do I use the word you have an obligation to be happy? Because this is for most people, that because chances are, if you are taking your happiness seriously which is kind of funny because it's like, shouldn't it just be joyous, happy, fun there is an element of you got to take your happiness seriously, so that when you're not happy, it's like okay, something needs my attention. So the reason I use the term obligation is because if you're not taking your happiness seriously, then you're probably taking your obligations seriously. There's probably some important things that must be done in your life and you can't be happy until these things are checked off of your lists, that are accomplished and that you've done the things that you're supposed to do. So really, what I'm asking is flip it around and make the obligation your happiness, because a lot of people think that their happiness is dependent on their success, and that is old, bullshit ways of doing things. I don't even know if that ever worked for anybody. I think a lot of people just said we don't know what else and they just went with it.

Justin Wenck: 3:45

Yet more and more, happiness is what drives success. Happiness brings people in your life that bring opportunity. It brings opportunities to you and it brings creativity, and creativity, more and more, is the driver of all success out there, because we're getting to a point where just getting things done, just moving stuff from A to B, and humans don't need to do it Self-driving cars there's more and more automation that the things that would have been very didn't require a lot of thought, just repetitive effort. It's not necessary anymore. But what becomes important is what's new, what's innovative, what's going to solve a problem, what's going to create something that makes somebody go oh my gosh, wow, I want to pay attention to this and I want to pay for this, and happiness is one of the things that brings that more and more and more. The other important thing is what happens when you're not happy and why it's an obligation is it's downright selfish when you are allowing yourself to not be happy, because what is happening when you are not happy. That means that you're allowing yourself to be in fear, obligation and guilt, guilt or shame, and these things don't just impact you, they impact those around you.

Justin Wenck: 5:13

So I, I still work at a tech company and, like most tech companies nowadays, there's, there's challenges, there's issues, there is uncertainty, because you know the whole just the industry and then macroeconomic conditions of you know Is there gonna be a recession or we're in a recession? How long is the recession? How bad is the recession? The layoffs there's been layoffs. Well, there'd be more layoffs. Who are they gonna lay off somebody soon? All of these things they're swimming around every tech company and the thing is is do you take that on or Do you choose to take your happiness seriously and go, hey, yes, these are all possibilities. Yet right now, I got a job and I got some things to do and I'm okay and I've been okay and I'm gonna be okay because I've the.

Justin Wenck: 6:04

Last week I talked to a couple co-workers. One co-worker was a in particularly very concerned about like, am I gonna even have a job at the end of the year? Am I even gonna be able to still get paid? All of these things just based off of pure fear, speculation, wonder, and, as a result, he was very much worried about getting things done. He literally had the weight of his, of the company, the weight of the company on Whether he was able to get other people to do to do tasks. And I and I'm just like the, what you and me do it. It matters more for the other people we work with, but it doesn't really have a giant impact on. You know the bottom line of the company, like we're. You know we're doing $100,000 million dollar Type tasks. You know which is still not nothing.

Justin Wenck: 6:53

Yet when we're talking these large tech companies, they're talking billions, multi billion dollar Challenges, issues, things like that. It just it's about the perspective and it's not to say that don't be a good steward of. You know what the, the company's resources, but it's like does adding on all that unhappiness, that misery, that fear. Does that actually benefit? When I told you about all the benefits of being happy where there's creativity and it's isn't a creative solution to these challenges Gonna be way more valuable than just going down checking boxes that we know, if not already, soon, a Computer and AI is gonna be able to do. But if it's like, well, what are the boxes that really need to be checked, to move the needle, to drive decision-making or to be able to create something that's gonna provide value, that's gonna bring in, you know, the revenue to make all of these supposed problems go away. Isn't that where the focus should be?

Justin Wenck: 7:52

And so, you know, had this discussion, you know, just going back and forth, and at the end to just my, my happiness, sort of my optimism, rubbed off and he's like, yeah, I guess, I guess, yeah, I, maybe I don't have to be Before seeing other people to do these things. You know, I just need to let them know. And then let People above me know like, hey, you know, I asked and this is where they said they're at and this is where I think it should be. And let's, if we should do something different, let me know. Otherwise we'll move on, mark in the risk, and we're gonna do the best we can move them forward. Maybe we'll find some creative ways to do the difference. How cool is that?

Justin Wenck: 8:30

And then I was talking to another co-worker who was also, you know she was she was actually not feeling well because I was like there's something, something up, like things they're taking way longer than expected, and like the quality wasn't there and I was like what's, what's going on at everything, okay, and she said, actually I've haven't been been feeling well and I was like, oh, that's. She gave me something specific and I don't really want to share what that specific ailment is because that's that's her business. But I was like, you know, once I had some some really bad hives that really bothered me once and it was really interesting because I hadn't had hives for over three decades. And then, you know, my dad sends me this package of of Nicknacks and others, Memorabilia and mementos and things like that, just out of the blue. He didn't say that he was sending in his pictures and stuff of me and him and I took it like what is? Does he not want anything to do with me? You know, this is my interpretation of it.

Justin Wenck: 9:29

And I then broke out in hives and I was like what is? What is going on? Like I'm out of Starbucks with a friend of mine, I just start itching in my armpits and I A friend of mine was like, well, yes, say hi means something's getting under your skin. And I have this, this book that is called. It's called does your body lie by Louis Martin's Samoas. You know, I am. I'm not a medical doctor. I am, I am a doctor, I have a doctorate, so I'm not a medical doctor. I'm a kind of doctor that likes to help people. That's a joke. But is it a joke or is it too true? I don't know anyway. So you know, none of this is, I'm gonna say, medical advice.

Justin Wenck: 10:16

Yet there is starting to be more and more research that any ailments, issues, challenges with the body are more tied to our emotional state or things that have happened in our past, or outlook, and then anything external. And Even if there are external things that happen, how we deal with them, how we work with them, has again more to do with how we are emotionally, psychologically, mentally able to work with and handle them. And this book, this does your body lie, allow some, some clues for literally as any ailment you could possibly think of. And so I go, it went, and look up this, the ailment, and it's like this often happens when somebody's feeling ungrounded in the area of their family, their work or their personal relationships. And you know, I asked, I asked if I could, you know, share this with her. I didn't, because, again, it's like some people, they're happily being unhappy, Because, again, I know for myself like I had neck, neck and shoulder and all these issues for the the longest time and it was and it hit me once that or I'm like, oh shit, if I suddenly didn't have any neck or shoulder issues, then I wouldn't have a reason to go spend any time on my own or get myself Taking care of or go talk to people that aren't just co-workers or you know the, the friends I had had at that time.

Justin Wenck: 11:39

And I'm like boy, I have a vested interest in staying Quote-unquote unwell in this, and so it's. I never want to take anything away from somebody Because, again, I didn't want somebody to take that away at that time. Now I'm very, very there's plenty of things that I want to do, people I want to hang out, things I want to see and do. I'm very happy to not have any challenges, but I go and I look up and you know I read this to her and she says like, oh my gosh, that that just it's exactly what I've been experiencing like as my daughter just went away to college and I've, you know, experienced a Breakup recently. And it's like you, we know the, the uncertainty of work currently and she's, you know, and, and you know, did it make her feel better instantly. Yet it brought an awareness to where some challenges are.

Justin Wenck: 12:32

That have, you know, been facing her for a long time and I often like to think the body is our, is our kind of our own personal Admin what it comes to our life's challenges. You know, admin, a record-keeper recorder, where if something really horrible happens and we're we're not able to fully address it at the time, the body just kind of goes oh, okay, challenging situation with, with family, like all right, let's put that in the lower back. Oh, um, okay, yeah, it's work is not not fulfilling. Let's Feels like we have to control everything, like we'll just put that in some tension in the shoulders, in the neck, and which is is brilliant, it's brilliant. Our body is not, is not our enemy, our body is our friend. It's often I know I haven't, but how often you look at your body as being on your side, as your ally. Often it's like it's the enemy, something to be subjugated, beaten, overcome, and a lot of times the way most workouts are like a crossfit or a marathon, where it's just like, oh, you just got to beat the body into submission and just you don't want to pay attention to it, something to be overcome? Yeah, I again that's. That's kind of a bullshit way of working with, with the world and with your body. It's like a going what, what's the message here? What, what are we supposed to learn? And then taking it seriously as part of our happiness of, okay, there's something that needs to be addressed. And it's amazing, when those things get addressed, the body starts going like all right, I can, I can let this go, I can feel a little bit better, I can be a little bit healthier, and it's it's a guide to help go in the direction of happiness.

Justin Wenck: 14:22

If you're, if you're living a certain way and your body is having issues, it is telling you you are not going in the direction of your happiness. It is using that pain as a signal to do something different. Like when you put your hand on a stove, it goes out and you usually we go, oh, I should take my hand off of the stove. It's that simple. And and any other area of our life is actually just that's not saying it's easy, because it's not usually like oh, this, this job or this relationship is causing me pain. I can immediately get out of it, like we can immediately get out of the touching of the stove Stove yeah, sorry, I started to think about the oven.

Justin Wenck: 15:03

Yet when we have the awareness, we can start to see the whole picture and see like, okay, well, where, where can I start to unwind this? Where can I start to get out of this unhappy situation or shift it into something happier? Sometimes all it is is about having a conversation right, having conversation with somebody. And so when you're when you're that unhappy, I mean so it starts to affect your ability to do what you need to do, how you work with other people. That starts to impact other people. They start to pick up on it and it does start to this impact the next generation.

Justin Wenck: 15:37

You know another, another friend of mine messaged me and said hey, does he, does any of the stuff you do? Does this work on? So, this work on Younger, younger people. Because, because my child is like not feeling good about what they've done, they said they don't have any pride in anything they've done since they were. They were like eight years old and I'm just like, oh my, and I'm just thinking. I'm like this is, this is because this person I Blah, because this person same age as me, and you know we got. Actually, you know, I've known each other for a long time and I'm I'm just going I this like lack of pride. I'm like I know, I know this friend has it, I know I've had it and we pass these things because we demonstrate that these things are okay at very subtle levels to those around us. And so if it's it's younger people, they're picking it up too and seem like I guess it's not okay to be proud of just Doing, doing great things that are simple yet very important and very meaningful, that things have to be amazing.

Justin Wenck: 16:49

Because I've seen this myself where it's like my best-selling book I've For for quite a while I was like I don't think it's best-selling enough. It's like, by all the criteria that everyone has said, that makes a best-seller. I had a best-seller, yet I'm like but I but it wasn't enough and it's like what the fuck does that mean? Is it enough? It is Celebrate it, and when we do that and then we pass that on and say it's okay, it's not okay. So this is why you have an obligation to be happy, because if you do not fulfill that obligation, you are selfishly making other people miserable. It really is just if that direction shows other people. This is the direction to go to, and there really is just kind of two directions. You're either going the direction of your happiness or you're not, and it's not to say that everything is going to be happy.

Justin Wenck: 17:49

I liken it very much to having a clean and tidy house. It's like are you moving the direction of a clean and tidy house or are you moving in the direction of a stage four fucking hoarder? Now I grew up in mostly like a hoarding style home where it was, oh shit, people are coming over, like all right, let's clear at least one room and then we'll just pack some other rooms with shit and trash and garbage. And if a whole bunch of people are going to be like staying over, like visiting, that was, oh my gosh, that's a lot of work to clear out the entire house. The garage is just going to be ridiculous at that point. Nobody going to the garage, and so you know. But it's like, are you going in the direction of continual tidiness? Because you know every now and then someone's going to send you a bunch of things or you're going to make some purchases or whatever. But the question is, are you going to allow that, to let you start going back in the other direction, towards the hoarding, or are you going to go? Okay, now I've got some more stuff yet I want to go in the direction of clean and tidy.

Justin Wenck: 18:55

And it's like that with our happiness. It's like, okay, something happened, like you know, lost the job, loved one, died, you know. It's like, okay, let's assess, let's accept it, let's really get to it. That's really kind of what grieving, and a lot of these, is just to like really be in the present moment, to assess where we are now from, where we went when something changed. And then the question is where do you want to go from there? And so you know how long it takes to grieve something or to process that.

Justin Wenck: 19:24

Again, that can depend on the situation. Again, it's not going to be the rest of your life, that much I know for sure. Yet from what I've heard and again this is a little bit ancient traditions of enlightenment that it's the more that we are, have cleared out what has happened in the past, the more that these, these feelings can be felt, processed on nearly instantly. Now I'm not there, yet I might strive to get closer and closer, because again, I'm taking my seer, my happiness, seriously. And if you take your happiness seriously again. You're going to find ways like all right, I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm depressed, I'm anxious. This is not acceptable to continue this way.

Justin Wenck: 20:11

I accept that this is the present moment and that I'm going to take responsibility and I'm going to move, find a way to move in the direction of happiness. I'm going to find the right people. I'm going to learn the right things. I'm going to start taking some different actions and behaviors in my towards happiness, because it's my obligation for those around me that I care about and myself, because if I don't do it, it's going to damage my body, it's going to damage my relationships and it's just going to make for an unhappy world, and that really is. It's not the point of living. Point of living is to play for the joy of playing the game of life, and if you're not enjoying the game again, there is no winning, there is no losing. There's just how you enjoy the game. So enjoy the game and play it as best you can. And with that I'm going to let you go.

Justin Wenck: 21:10

Remember podcast at JustinWinkcom If you have any questions, suggestions for the show, follow me on social media JustinWinkPhD, instagram, tiktok, facebook, linkedin and do connect with me. Do follow, do like, subscribe, rate this five stars and tell a friend if you think like, oh my gosh, this guy's got something. Oh and, and the exciting stuff coming up for the end of the year so that you can more easily be taking your happiness seriously is I'm going to start doing a monthly masterclass to help you unlock your ideal life 10x faster. So each month so be looking for this it's going to be about 30 to 40-ish minutes. Where I'm going to, I'm going to teach you something and you are going to be able to leave with. You're going to go like, oh my gosh, now I know something to do, I have something so that I can get up one step closer towards my ideal life, my happy life.

Justin Wenck: 22:11

And then three weeks, so three, I'm working on making the ship some more simple. I know I've made a lot of my stuff way too complicated, but basically every week there's going to be an offering and I'm looking at making it Wednesdays, wednesdays at noon Pacific. So once a month it's going to be a little bit longer form, masterclass style. And then the other three weeks of the month it's going to be like a really, really quick. So I'm going to be live streaming about 10, 15 minutes, some nuggets of wisdom that you're not going to want to miss.

Justin Wenck: 22:46

Yet the really cool thing is, for those that sign up, you're going to get to come and enjoy some private one-on-one coaching where it's just going to be you, me and about three or four other people so very small group going to do some hot seat one-on-one. Where you come, you're like Justin, I have this issue and boom, we're going to give you a little something to get you going to get that handled, and it's going to be amazing. You're not going to want to miss it, and so I can only do about like five people. So when the signups go up, you're going to want to get on that, because once the seats are filled up, it's going to be waitlist and more or less first come, first serves. So if you've done it already, I'll put you at the back of the waitlist, whatever, so that we can give some new people a shot.

Justin Wenck: 23:30

But I really want to reach some more people, get them moving the direction of happiness, because if you are not living the life you want, like something is wrong. Something is wrong and it's up to you to figure it out, and you don't have to figure it out alone. I've figured out a lot of it and I'm here to help you take that next step. So it can be easeful, joyful and amazing. So with that, see you next time, appreciate it and with that, good day.