The Power of Perspective for Personal Growth

Ever considered how your perspective can influence your self-image, your relationship with money, and even your day-to-day life decisions?

Prepare for a journey of insight as we unpack the transformative power of perspective, using my personal experiences as a roadmap. This episode unravels how a simple shift of viewpoint can open avenues for self-improvement and provide a profound understanding of life's challenges.

I share personal anecdotes - from my trip to Vegas to the trials of enduring a divorce – highlighting the significant role perspective played in my personal growth. We delve into how a broader outlook can bring about a positive change in our interpretations. The discussion progresses to reflect on our self-image, subconscious patterns, and interactions, demonstrating how changing perspectives can help us navigate our lives better. We also explore the concept of 'zooming out', a technique to achieve a more peaceful understanding of our struggles. 

Join me, Justin Wenck, Ph.D., as we unravel the threads of our perspectives and weave them into a tapestry of self-awareness and growth.

Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!

Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!

Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

All right, I think we'll start now. Welcome to the show. Today I am talking about the power of perspective. Today I'm talking about the power of perspective, rethinking challenges. This is a topic that this is one of the things like I'm just amazing at is perspective, and the better I've gotten at it, the better my life is, and the better you get at it, the better your life's going to be. So I'm going to go all about into perspective a little deep dive, so you're not going to want to miss this episode. So what's been going on with me lately?

Speaker 1: 0:44

Currently getting ready to go on a trip to Las Vegas, so I'm recording this a little bit sooner and it's one of those things where I'm like I don't even know if I'm a Vegas person. When I was younger, I was like all about Vegas, like oh yeah, I want to go there and have the wildest time and dreams come true and, you know, win money at things and you know meet, do partying and all that stuff, and like I think I went about two years ago and just like I just I don't know if I like Vegas anymore, I don't know if I like the scene and this and that, and so I'm going. This is part of a birthday celebration. So, as a friend and a bunch of other people that some I know and a lot of other people get to meet and it's still pool party season and I'm like, oh, I do love being in water, sun, things like that, because it's like, even though I live in California near San Francisco, there's pools, places. It's just I don't really know of a great pool nearby where I just want to like chill out, hang, things like that. So that sounds kind of interesting and I really know that Vegas is just one of these places. I mean, there's no place like it in the world and that's why I still peen any people come from all over the world to go there. It literally has just about anything and everything you could possibly want.

Speaker 1: 2:09

The key is knowing what you want before you go there so you can focus on doing that, because it's the Vegas environment. It accentuates, it accelerates just about anything, and so if you're having a great time, you can have an even more amazing time. The next level of fun is there. If you're not, the next level of depression, depravity, awfulness is also there, because I've definitely had some awful trips to Vegas where I was like going with people I don't want to be hanging out with and it's just like, oh man, just remind me of all the things I didn't like about my life. It's like I don't have the money to do the things that these other people are doing, and just all sorts of ways. And I think this really plays in well with today's topic of perspective, because it was basically when I shifted my perspective about this trip. It went from like, oh boy, I hope I can survive this. Oh my gosh, I can't wait. I'm so excited. And one of the things I'm super excited about I'll talk about at the very end, yeah, and the thing is is that our perspective can just shift us so much. Like for me.

Speaker 1: 3:23

In the past, I've used my change in perspective to help me through some really, really awful, horrible times. Like many of you have been listening, you know that I've been divorced. I wasn't married all that long, but I was with the person for seven years, as short and as straightforward as it was supposed to be, had a prenup and all that stuff. It was still one of the worst experiences I had. I wouldn't wish a divorce on my worst enemy. Those of you that have kids and have gone through divorce. My heart goes out to you. Yeah, one of the things that really helped me go through the process and, as painful as it was, I was able to not add more pain, because so much can be like, well, maybe I was a failure, or maybe this or that when I was able to shift my perspective, because now it's super easy to see that I was the best thing, one of the best things I've ever done in my life, because just to be able to not be with somebody that no longer in alignment to the amount of freedom that gives each of us, just phenomenal. The only difference in that perspective really is the time. Yet there's no reason not to have that perspective while you're in something, even while I was in it, just be able to know that, okay, this is going to result in a much better opportunity for each of us.

Speaker 1: 4:55

Let's figure this out. Let's go through the process. Did it make everything super easy and fun? No, yet it made it way less bad if it was just like well, this is not supposed to be happening, this is not good, this is a bad thing. If that was my perspective, if that was all I could see, then it would have been really really tough.

Speaker 1: 5:16

Let's get a little bit into what exactly is perspective, because sometimes perspective and opinion can get a little bit intertwined. They're very two distinct things. It really is just the lens of how are you able to see the world. What are you seeing in the world, whereas the opinion is zooming in and focusing on one thing and maybe having a take on it? If my perspective is only wide enough to see the current situation of the divorce, then my opinion might be that this is really awful and shitty. When I switch that perspective to zoom out and maybe shift to see what's it going to be like a year from now, two years from now, three years from now, and go oh wait, this is going to allow some opportunity for me to live my life differently. Oh, if I look at how things would have been financially, this is long run. Whatever I think is maybe expensive now. Things were done differently, or if I waited longer, it would have been even worse for me. That allows a lot more options to see and then my opinion can change from being like all I see is bad, this is bad to okay. There's some challenging things here that are happening now, yet Overall, this is the best for all of us involved and going to work out great and going to work out fine. Just about anything that you've experienced in life can I'm not going to say magically make everything better, but it can make it a little bit better and it can give you a chance Sometimes when really shitty things happen.

Speaker 1: 6:55

Covid was a phenomenal example of. I don't think there was anybody in it that was like, well, this is great. I mean there could have been some people that are like, oh man, I got some biotech stocks like hell, yeah. That were immediately like this is the best thing ever. Yet I know for myself and many other people were like, okay, this sucks, don't like it. Yet what is the possible positive? What good can come out of this? That's the zoom in out, the perspective, and so that's one of the.

Speaker 1: 7:28

So there's several benefits to having you know the ability to shift, change, expand perspective. There's being able to see. You know the unseen, you know blind spots right, like there are probably, you know, people that knew about that. My marriage had some issues before I did, because they had a different perspective. So often we are just stuck in our own perspective of things. The other is being able to innovate right, being able to go beyond what has just been done. And so if you can kind of see, well, what's the problem from other perspectives, and then that allows for like, well, what's another possible solution, and so this is really big for those of you that work in the tech space or just any type of problem solving thing.

Speaker 1: 8:13

So even if you're an attorney, a medical professional, a healer or a creative type, like, if you can shift your perspective, that's not just good for you, that's good for anybody else and you can gift that. And that's one of the things that I love to do for people, and we already talked about sort of the resilience. And the other thing is empathy is, if you're able to shift your perspective to that as someone else, you can have empathy with somebody, and that's going to make it a lot easier to work with somebody, because if you kind of understand where they're coming from, the way they're seeing it, then it makes it easier to go like, okay, they did that, they did that thing that I don't like, not because they hate me, but just because, from where they're seeing it, they thought that was the best option, they thought that was the best way, and maybe we can figure out a way for them to see my perspective, or maybe I can adjust what I'm needing or what I'm wanting, once I really understand them and see it truly from their side. And then the other thing is just avoiding stagnation, just not getting stuck in the same old, same old, because if you just have the same perspective, you're seeing things in the same way, so you're likely going to do the exact same things and so it's just like well, it's been working. Let's keep doing it before, and I'll tell you before, I'll tell you again and I'll keep telling it over and over If you don't change, the world is changing.

Speaker 1: 9:32

And so just because you don't change and don't want to change doesn't mean that you can just chill out like that, like every day, money's being worthless, your health is deteriorating. If you're not changing and doing things to continue to make the world the way you want it to be. And part of that is having the perspective of what's actually going out in the world what, how could I shift? And if you're not trying to see that, you're not able to see that, you're going to miss it and instead of you getting to say, okay, this is how I want it to be. That's when the wall up comes. That's when the illness or the breakup or the job loss it's a quote, unquote surprise. Yet probably to most people there would be no surprise because they have the perspective of seeing that this is happening.

Speaker 1: 10:20

You can become proactive in your life by proactively shifting perspective. You might be wondering, okay, what are some ways to work on your perspective? There's multiple perspectives, but I like this framework of four different main perspectives that you can work with. There's your self perspective, there's a perspective on another, there's a perspective of a third party, an outside observer, and then there's a global perspective. What do I mean by each of these? How do you use this to your advantage, to your benefit? I'm a big proponent of if it advantages you, it's advantaging everybody else, because the only time people really in my opinion, from my perspective really do awful things to other people is when they think they have no other choice, that it's just like it's me or them.

Speaker 1: 11:15

When we expand our perspective, we can see oh, it doesn't have to be me or them, it can be me and them. Just subtle, little, teeny shifts can have a big, big impact. Your own perspective. This is going to be easy. You've been doing this your entire life. You know what you see, how you see it, how you've seen it. A lot of this didn't really come from you. This was put onto you from other people, from your parents, from going to school, from your coworkers, from your friends. They have instructed you of how to see the world.

Speaker 1: 11:51

One big thing for the longest time was like well, money just has to be earned through a paycheck. That's how I'd seen it. It wasn't until I allowed my perspective to shift, to be opened up, making money other ways, that when I went to house it was like, oh, I could refinance my home. This was back when interest rates were actually going down. All I had to do was fill out some paperwork. Suddenly, I didn't have to pay as much. They even wrote me a check for some extra money. It was just wonderful. I was like, oh okay, there's other ways for money to come in.

Speaker 1: 12:26

That's the self-view. Basically, that's your default. What are the other ones and how can we practice those? The other is the view from somebody else, whenever you're in a situation maybe it's a relationship, or maybe it's a coworker, just anywhere. Even it could be the checkout person. Just consider how are they seeing me? It can even just be as simple as literally. How are they seeing what I appear like to them? Maybe this happens to you, but I always find it funny where sometimes I'll wear a really clever t-shirt or just something that maybe has a lot of meaning to other people, but I didn't really care, I just thought it was a cool shirt.

Speaker 1: 13:07

I once bought this t-shirt that was from this lucky brand store. It fitted really well. It was this blue, made my eyes pop. It's like triumph motorcycles on it. I'm just like I know nothing. Apparently, to certain people that is a big deal. They get really excited and go oh, triumph motorcycles reminds me of my grandpa, I don't know what the fuck. Anyway, I'd wear this shirt sometimes and somebody just walked me like, yeah, triumph man, you ride like I don't just ride roller coasters, what are we riding? And then they're like your shirt, the triumph motorcycles. Oh, and I had forgotten how other people are seeing me. They're seeing me in this shirt, so they're seeing me in the shirt. They would see or hear my tone of things.

Speaker 1: 13:54

And so just sort of start taking a second, a minute, not even a minute, but a few seconds to consider how is this person across from me perceiving me in this moment. What is there? It could be quite literal and then there could also be like what is their lens of the world? Have they met people like me, that look like me, and how has that experience been? And just considering that, because our appearance is going to be triggering, you know, not good or bad, but it's gonna have reminders of, oh, I saw someone that looked like like the you and they treated me this way, and that's just how we work. It's just we try to do pattern matching and try to go like oh, when I have this pattern before, this is what happened, let's see if that's useful. And it's good for us to recognize consciously that we're doing that. Seven like okay, well, that was then, but this is a fresh moment. What's the? What's all the information, not just this like quick, subconscious pattern match but remember, not everybody might be working that way and so, if you can kind of go, you know what, based off of how I appear, maybe where this person grew up or their perception people look like me, they could be having this reaction and so Maybe there's something I could do differently in the situation that's gonna make it easier for them to interact with me. So just things to consider. Then the other is what would somebody complete third party? They're just fly on the wall. What would their opinion be on this?

Speaker 1: 15:29

I remember I was walking, walking down the street from my place. This is just a couple weeks ago and so I gotta go down the street before I turn a corner and I can see the ocean and it's just about one more block and I can walk on the ocean. It's beautiful. But on that corner what I have to turn there is a mini market and as I'm turning that corner, I see a guy on his phone going uh, huh, yeah, I'll get. I'm just right on the corner here, on the near this mini market, you know. And I walk a few feet and then I see, you know, see, in front of me, to the right, another guy on the phone is going like, oh yeah, I'm looking for you and and the other guy goes like, okay, I'm waving my hand. I see the guy waving his hand. I go okay, I just see you. And I'm able to see this interaction of both these people and I know, as I walk by the one guy, I'm so glad that you two found each other.

Speaker 1: 16:28

I was wondering how this was gonna end, because I got to see both sides of this conversation and you can also sort of take that view anytime you want as well. So, in an argument or whatever, trying to go like what, what is somebody else maybe seeing? Like, are they seeing us frustrated? Are they seeing us in a motion? Are they seeing us not listening? And then, as soon as you're able to do that, you have access to that information you can start to behave, act differently.

Speaker 1: 16:56

And the fourth one is this global perspective, which is zooming out. Zooming out across all space, across all time, as much, as as much as you're capable of, which is, you know, across all time. And this is kind of what I mentioned a little bit in the divorce thing is zooming out. So you know, the grand scheme like this sucks. Right now. This process is sort of like Figure out who gets what and how. Are you gonna make this happen? It sucks. Yet you know, in the scheme of my entire life Other people help me, as you know is is the check that I'm gonna write? Is that really gonna be a big deal? Is that gonna be like a big nothing? So do I really wanna Get so angry and try to fight for every penny. And with that perspective, you know, or you know, hey, is this really gonna impact me or impact the world? Is it gonna have what I wanna be leaving as a legacy If I'm on my death bed? Am I gonna be like I'm so glad that this person knew I was right about? You know, this, this scene in star wars, like, is just who gives a shit.

Speaker 1: 17:58

A lot of stuff is, you know, not as important as we think it is, and it allows us to really circle back, and I will. What is important? What is it? And often, to me, anyway, it's. It's how are we treating other people and how are we enjoying our lives and what's the impact that we're really ultimately having? A lot of these little things go away when we Broaden our perspective, when we see that. So you know, that's have my perspective, there's your perspective, there's a third parties perspective, and then there's the global perspective.

Speaker 1: 18:28

And to be able to go through all of these something I am just masterful at. And if you're like, oh my gosh, I'm having a hard time, I'm not getting it, I got some good news for you coming up starting. So we'll have already had the first one when this episode comes out, but for the rest of 2023, the first three Wednesdays of every month, I'm doing what I'm calling the ideal life accelerator. It's one-on-one coaching and transformation sessions. So it's going to be every noon on Wednesdays noon Pacific, 3 pm Eastern and these sessions are free. The only thing is is that only five people I can bring into the room where I will do the one-on-one hot seat coaching, where it's a few minutes with each person.

Speaker 1: 19:19

But my ability to understand what's going on and find that alternate perspective, I can do incredible things in just a few minutes. So I really want you to experience that. And then, because once you've experienced it, you're going to be able to take that and you're going to be able to do it yourself, which is, ultimately, I want you to be able to find the wider, fuller perspective. So then you can choose your opinion, you can choose how you want to see the world, you can choose what you want to do. You're not just stuck doing what you've been doing over and over and over and over again, because chances are what you've been doing isn't working. I mean, do you have your ideal life yet? Are you living the life you want? Because if not, then you've got to get into one of these sessions, so it'll be justinwinkcom slash ideallifex, so it's ideal life accelerator.

Speaker 1: 20:05

I have a hard time spelling accelerator, so X for acceleration, even though I know it really starts with an A and there's no X in it, but it makes it easier to spell, so that should be the link in the show notes as well. So, really looking forward to signing up to get in there. The first 15 minutes is going to be streamed out because there's going to be some awesome, amazing nuggets. So even if you don't get a one-on-one session, but it's a way to get you on the list and so you'll be first up for the next session, because these are highly valuable can change your life, and I want you to change your life so that you live the life you want. You deserve to be living your ideal life.

Speaker 1: 20:44

So with that thank you for listening about all these different ways a perspective can benefit you, how you can shift your perspective, and would love to be seeing you in my ideal life experience and before I go, what is the big thing that has shifted my perspective on how I'm going to enjoy my upcoming Vegas trip? So the birthday and other festivities they're only Friday through Saturday midday, but Saturday night is free and I'm like, what would I like to do? So I went to see what concerts are available and guess who had the ticket available? Katy Perry. So I've got a great ticket like finale price, good view of Katy Perry.

Speaker 1: 21:29

She's, I think, only like one month left of her residency. I heard that she might have kissed a girl at one point and so I just really want to find out did she like it? Was there chapstick involved? So I'm excited to go check this out, find out and just see some spectacle, have some fun, have some enjoyment, get some sun out there at the pool. And so now I'm just like, and I'm excited for it, because I'm going to do what I want to do. I mean, I'm there for to celebrate the birthday duel of that, but I'm also there for me, and that's okay, and I want you to be here for you and doing what works for you. And if you're not, then talk to me. All right, you can podcast at JustinWinkcom or JustinWink PhD on all the socials except for Twitter, x, whatever the hell it's called TikTok, linkedin, facebook, instagram, justinwink PhD. Hit me up there, let me know what you thought, let me know how can you change your perspective? What are your thoughts? Looking forward to talking to you soon and with that, good day.