Writing Your Life: How to Break Free from Endless Cycles and Author Your Own Story

Ever feel like you're stuck in your own version of "Groundhog Day," endlessly repeating patterns that lead nowhere?

This episode invites you into the world of active self-authorship, where you'll learn how to seize the pen and script your life story with intent. Join me, Justin Wenck, Ph.D., as we delve into the transformative process of recognizing and breaking free from the cycles that hinder your progress.

It's about becoming the author of your narrative, consciously selecting each experience to shape your chapters with joy and fulfillment. With a blend of personal insight and actionable advice, we'll navigate the terrain of self-awareness, piecing together the unfiltered moments of truth that build the rich tapestry of your existence.

Harness the raw elements of your daily life—the sights, sounds, and sensations that make up your reality—to craft a narrative that rings true to your deepest aspirations. This episode isn't just about listening; it's an invitation to engage with your sensory world and use it as a compass guiding you toward growth and a life of intention. 

And don't forget to connect with me across social media for more insights! Whether we're sharing tips on Instagram or discussing breakthroughs on LinkedIn, your engagement propels this journey forward. 

By the end of our time together, you'll not only be inspired but equipped to write a story that resonates with the life you've always dreamed of living.

Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!

Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!

Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.

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Transcript

Justin Wenck: 0:03

Welcome to the show. Today I'm going to be talking about your story and how to rewrite it so that story of your life is a story that you enjoy, that has the elements that you want, that you desire, that you've been wanting to experience. Because, let's face it, if you're wondering, like, why is life maybe not giving you the things that you've been seeking, that you've been striving for, that you've been wanting for years, it's because you keep writing the same story. So this episode is all about understanding the story that's been written, likely very unconsciously and how to get out of that so that you can get to a space where you're in the writer's seat, you're writing and you're creating the story that you want. This is very much like the movie Groundhog Day, and I do want to say, because this really is the first episode of the new year that I've recorded in the new year, putting out in the new year. So I want to do wish people a happy 2024. And to those of you that might be listening in the future, happy whatever year it is. You're listening and this is probably about the time where many of you might have done some new year's resolutions and you may have already stumbled into the fact that you haven't made much progress, that maybe you've already gone back on what you supposedly resolved to change in your life, and this is common and you do not want to be having a common life. If you wanted to have a common life, you would not be listening to the show. By the fact that you are listening to the show, you are wanting something more, and that is great, because life is desire, life is choice and you can choose to have a life that has more of what you desire, more of what you want and less of what you've had. So maybe some of you have heard of the movie Groundhog Day Fnat. That's totally okay. Simple premise of the movie is it's about this journalist, played by Bill Murray, who goes to cover the annual Pax-a-Tonny Phil who in the US. He pops his head out and, depending on whether he sees a shadow or not, it's either six more weeks of winter or means winter is over and spring is going to begin, and he goes. He has a day, goes to sleep at his hotel and he wakes up and it's Groundhog Day again and he's like why am I running into the same people? Why am I have to keep doing the same thing and no matter what he does, he just keeps having the exact same day. It's a bit of a comedy movie as well, like he even starts killing himself, dropping a toaster into the bathtub, doing all these things in hopes of just like getting out of this. Like same day, over and over again. And some of you are probably going to like write in and tell me that I'm messing up some of these things like eventually he kind of learns the lesson. He learns how he needs to change how he is so that he can actually move on to the next day.

Justin Wenck: 3:29

And a lot of our lives are like this, because how much of your life, if you really look back, has changed over the past days, months, weeks, years? Now that might be one of those things where you're like, oh, I've had these big events, these big changes, but are they really all that big? Or is it just sort of like a reset where you could have changed something? Yet maybe even if something big happened, like a change in job, a change in relationship, a change in health status, that effectively you're kind of, if you look, you kind of say like, wait, I'm sort of back to where I've been. Even though there was this big change. It really wasn't all that big. I'm still kind of going about in the same things, just I'm maybe I'm a little bit older, maybe some things have slightly changed, but how much have you really really changed your life?

Justin Wenck: 4:16

And a lot of this is you are in the story of your life. You are not writing the story of your life. And how do you get out of the story? And the biggest, most fundamental, simplest, easiest way to get out of the story so that you can get into the driver's seat of your story is to get to basically into the writer's room. And what is the writer right with? But it's the raw materials. Now, as an author. So I've authored already one bestselling book, engineered to love, going Beyond Success to Fulfillment, and I've also written another book.

Justin Wenck: 4:55

It's a fiction that's still a work in progress, and the main thing is the difference between being part of a story, like you are on Netflix or you're reading, like Harry Potter or whatever it is is. You get sucked up and you start to believe that, oh, this is real, that I'm in this, and you're just like I just wanna keep going, keep going, keep going versus as an author, and so maybe you've had, you're a bit of a creator in some ways too. When you're truly creating is, you start to see the raw materials and you kind of go oh, this is how I want to put them together, and you allow what you want to create to come through you, as opposed to what is just coming just washes, and you just go with it. And so, in writing, it's the billing page and it's individual words right, those are the building blocks, right? And then it's so when you're reading or you're watching something, those are already put together for you, yet when you're creating, you're the one that you get to assemble and place those wherever you decide.

Justin Wenck: 6:02

So what is this analogy when it comes to living your life? Cause that's what I'm gonna be teaching you in this this is very it's complicated, yet simple, and I'm gonna make it really simple and really easy. And so, if you stick with this, you're gonna see how simple it really is to be able to start to write your own story, or at least get out of that story that you've been living, to get out of Groundhog Day, and then have a chance to see that you've been in this cycle over and over again and go ah, I don't have to do this, I can start playing around and trying different things, which is what Bill Murray starts to do in Groundhog Day. He starts playing around trying different things, being a different person, behaving in different ways, and eventually unlocks the key to getting out. I'm not gonna spoil it, cause if you watch it and also I don't remember what the actual key was in the movie. And it really doesn't matter what the key was in that movie, cause the key that matters is to you, it's what your life is, what your desire is, what your choice is and what you want to live, create and have happen, and so it's really making that happen is what is the key.

Justin Wenck: 7:15

And so what is what is the? Basically the building blocks, and the building blocks of life are these moments of truth? What is a moment of truth? What is that? What is that building block? That building block in life is? It's pictures, sounds and feelings. And so when you get in touch with, just that, that's all there is pictures, sounds and feelings and that the rest is basically a story. It's a construction that starts to decouple from being part of something that has been created to being the creator and seeing that, oh, this is what I have to work with. And then going to the next step of now. What do I want to create with this? So, pictures, sounds and feelings, this beautiful, beautiful moment of truth, because I'm going to get a little philosophical here what do you actually know to be true, what is 100% true?

Justin Wenck: 8:17

A lot of times we like to think that, well, the Earth is round. That's true, is it? How do you really know? How do you really know? Have you gone all the way around the Earth? Have you been in space, all these things? And so not to say that it's round, it's true, I'm not a flat Earth or I'm not staying with. The Earth is flat, but this is a helpful exercise to start to go. Hmm, how do I really know that? See, it's helpful that we all agree that the Earth is round, but yet, how do I really know that? You don't really know that. You just know that you've been told that, you know that maybe you've seen pictures of that, you know that maybe you've gotten indications from, maybe, things that you've seen, and so this is getting down to those pictures, sounds and feelings, that these just vary in the moment, because it's whatever you can experience now. That is what is undeniably true and there's a power in getting to the essence of what is undeniably true, unequivocally. There is no doubt, there is no argument, it just fucking is.

Justin Wenck: 9:30

When you get to that, that moment of truth, you are now out of any possible story, any possible confusion about is this real, is this not real? You know you are working with a building block. So what are these moments of truth, these building blocks of fundamental experience? So it's what are you seeing? What are you seeing Period? So if you're watching this on YouTube, you can be seeing my face and you might be going like I'm registering a color of his eyes as blue, I'm registering that he has a beard, and just really curious about what are these visual things that you are seeing. Or if you're outside and you see a tree, it's just getting really curious about that tree and just well, okay, what's the texture of the tree, what is the various colors and what are the shapes, what are the angles? Because just the fact that you're taking that in and experiencing that, without putting any story on, like, well, this must be an old tree, this is a big tree or small, but just the what are you seeing?

Justin Wenck: 10:39

That is something that is true for you in the moment and then sound. What are what sounds are you hearing? Like what? What is the quality of my voice as you are listening to this? Is it, is it very monotone? Or am I getting really, really excited? I don't know what's going on, but just getting curious about the sounds that are coming in. How far away are the sounds? How close are they? What's the volume, what is the timber, what is the melody, what is the frequency, right, what? Just being curious about the sound that you are hearing with a quality in this moment, and then feelings Like you can be touching sound yourself.

Justin Wenck: 11:26

Well, it could be in that way. I just, you know, if you rub your fingertips together and get really curious about, oh, I can feel the ridges of my fingerprint, or just, oh, I can really feel my bottom in a seat, or I can really feel my foot on the floor, or I can feel my muscles moving, contracting and expanding as I walk. Just getting really curious about any sensory perception you can have and also emotions. So, dropping any story with any emotion, just like, oh, I kind of I feel something in my chest or oh, I feel something in my stomach, and just being aware and just noticing that there's a feeling, that there's an emotion, right no-transcript. And so the power is anytime that there might be a story like oh, this is going wrong, or I'm sad, or I'm angry, or I'm bored to use.

Justin Wenck: 12:28

And this is a very important skill. It's called self-command, which is basically how good are you at being the one who directs your attention? Because I already did an episode about what is your most valuable possession, and it's your attention, because if you go to Vegas or you know, whenever it's TV, whatever, they're trying to direct your attention to something to benefit them. When you're directing it for something for your benefit, that's going to benefit you. So this is one of the most beneficial things you can use to place your attention on, which is these moments of truth. So anytime there is a story going on or something happening when you can focus your attention to one of these, any moment of truth. So from that, like, oh my gosh, nothing goes my way, or people are always mean to me, or I just keep getting sick, or whatever, whatever bullshit story is, because, again, if it's not a picture, sound or feeling, it's not true.

Justin Wenck: 13:27

You want to get to a moment of truth, a picture, sound or feeling happening right now. So, when you direct yourself to that, you are now in the writer's seat of your own life. You have the blank piece of paper, you have all of the words at your disposal, you have these elements of truth and now you can create the story that you want. You can start going. Oh well, this is what I'm experiencing and this is what I want it to mean. I want it to mean that now there's an opportunity for me to have a new relationship with myself, a new relationship with somebody in my life, a new opportunity for my career, a new chance to have the health, the body, the physicality that I've always dreamed of. That's what this is meaning. This is what I am creating. This is the story that I am choosing to write. From this moment now, where I am tapping into the truth, I am going to create and allow that to be what happens in my life.

Justin Wenck: 14:26

So it's that cutting, stopping the story that you've been living, getting out of that cycle, that groundhog day, that repetitive over and over again, of waking up the same way, having the same thoughts, the same feelings and then, ultimately, the same experiences. Because this is a misconception that we've been taught, that what's going on outside is what's going to affect going on inside, and that is completely backwards. It's what goes on inside is what creates, goes on outside. So as you change the story that you are creating inside yourself, you will start to see things changing on the outside of yourself, and that's really. It's that simple. It doesn't mean that it's easy, yet it doesn't have to be that hard and you don't have to do it alone. That's what I am here to do is to assist you, to guide you through writing your own joyous, amazing, beautiful, fantastic story.

Justin Wenck: 15:29

So let me break it down into three simple steps. So the first is awareness that there's a story going on. So chances are, if you're having an emotion that you're not enjoying, you're experiencing something that you don't want. It's a story that is not yours, it's a story that's been put on you, and so then you use that directing of your awareness to be aware of a moment of truth. So it's getting in touch with a current picture, sound or feeling. What are you seeing? At the very basics, you know just what are you seeing, what are you hearing, what are you feeling? Pick any one of these things to bring you into the present moment and recognize that you are, have been, and always will be, in the writer's seat of the story that is your life and then so that's the second step.

Justin Wenck: 16:25

The third step is now what is a more empowered story that you wish to write? What do you want to create? And again, you've been living the story that things are out of your control, that you just kind of go about your day and hopefully someday things will change. You've been living that story for a long, long, long long time and some of you might be going like, but Justin, that's bullshit. Like do you know the stuff that I do, how powerful I am and all these great things? And I'm not to say that you haven't accomplished a lot, that you haven't done a lot, yet there's probably, if you, if there wasn't much you wanted, you wouldn't be listening to this. There's something else, there's something missing. There's something that you're like something isn't sitting right. There's something that's out of alignment.

Justin Wenck: 17:11

And this is what I'm talking about is getting you into alignment with who you truly are, what you truly want and what you're truly meant to be creating while you're living this life, so that when you are looking back on your life when it's close to over because we never know when it's actually going to be over. Right Time is the most valuable thing that we have. So are you spending it creating, living doing the things that light you up, that are of service in this world, so that you look back and you'd be like, oh my gosh, yeah, I made the most of this. Or are you just doing the things that you think you're supposed to be doing, that you're just like? Maybe you look back and go like, boy, I missed it. I was asleep at the wheel, I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't do what really mattered to me. I feel like it was a waste. I don't want you to have that feeling when it's the end of your life and when you look back and go man, if they can make a movie, or maybe they did make a movie, maybe you made the movie. So the point is start making that movie, start writing that story of your life, so getting into that moment of truth, so that then you're in the writer's seat and you can start creating from these basic bits of creativity that are always available, always there for us.

Justin Wenck: 18:33

So with that, thank you so much, and if this message, this episode, resonated with you, I would like to encourage you to follow me on my social media, so Instagram, tiktok, facebook, linkedin where you can get more tips and inspiration. So it's Justin Wink PhD. Look for me there. You will also soon be able to watch this on YouTube, so the Justin Wink PhD channel. So make sure you go there and subscribe so that when we do start putting these episodes there, you'll be able to watch me, watch me doing the show and also engage there.

Justin Wenck: 19:13

If you do want to get in contact you've got a question, you've got a comment then either direct message me on social media or podcast at JustinWinkcom. So do want to hear how this resonated with you. So happy that you're here, listening, watching, getting engaged, and do remember to subscribe and rate this five stars. It really does help other people to find the show and start their journey of engineering their emotions and energy so that they can be in the right her seat of their life, just like you're starting to be more so and more so every day, and then it just becomes automatic. So that thank you and good day.