Today we journey into happiness across continents and cultures with Nicole and Mickey in another joint show with the @MickeySDT podcast.
Mickey talks about how he’s struck by the candidness with which emotions are expressed in his native German Culture compared to the stark contrast to the American penchant for cloaking one's true feelings. Justin and Nicole chime in with travel stories from South Korea to Spain, touching with perceptions of joy and contentment.
Our chat turns to mindfulness and its role in the pursuit of happiness. Nicole opens up about her journey from skepticism to fully embracing life abroad. We unearth the joys found in the stillness of being truly 'here,' contrasting this with the American hustle and the Spanish prioritization of relationships.
We wrap up the show by delving into neuro-linguistic programming and self-love. It's a dance of words and ideas, where filling in the blank to "Being happy is ___ to me" reveals a spectrum of beliefs and aspirations. And as we touch on the transformative role of love in our lives, we leave you with practical wisdom to carry forward in your journey towards joy. So cozy up and let us accompany you on this adventure into the human quest for happiness.
Make sure to check out Mickey on Instagram at @mickeysdt/ and you can find Nicole on Instagram at @nicolerosetravelstheworld
Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!
Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!
Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.
Remember to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode! Connect with me:
JustinWenck.com
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
YouTube
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended, music and pics belong to the rightful owners.
=====================================================
Today we journey into happiness across continents and cultures with Nicole and Mickey in another joint show with the @MickeySDT podcast.
Mickey talks about how he’s struck by the candidness with which emotions are expressed in his native German Culture compared to the stark contrast to the American penchant for cloaking one's true feelings. Justin and Nicole chime in with travel stories from South Korea to Spain, touching with perceptions of joy and contentment.
Our chat turns to mindfulness and its role in the pursuit of happiness. Nicole opens up about her journey from skepticism to fully embracing life abroad. We unearth the joys found in the stillness of being truly 'here,' contrasting this with the American hustle and the Spanish prioritization of relationships.
We wrap up the show by delving into neuro-linguistic programming and self-love. It's a dance of words and ideas, where filling in the blank to "Being happy is ___ to me" reveals a spectrum of beliefs and aspirations. And as we touch on the transformative role of love in our lives, we leave you with practical wisdom to carry forward in your journey towards joy. So cozy up and let us accompany you on this adventure into the human quest for happiness.
Make sure to check out Mickey on Instagram at @mickeysdt/ and you can find Nicole on Instagram at @nicolerosetravelstheworld
Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!
Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!
Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.
Remember to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode! Connect with me:
JustinWenck.com
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
YouTube
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended, music and pics belong to the rightful owners.
=====================================================
Hi, I'm Justin Wink, phd, and you're listening to the Engineering Emotions and Energy podcast. Are you ready to bust burnout? Pursue your passion, have more time, money, energy and relationships you actually love, including the relationship with yourself? If so, then this podcast is for you. I'm a bestselling author, coach, consultant, speaker and a leader in transforming people's lives from living in fear, obligation and guilt to living a life of joy, ease and love. What's most important is that I can teach you all this in a way that's enjoyable, easy, fast and can actually last. Let's begin. Welcome to the show. So great to have you here.
Speaker 1:I hope you've been having a fantastic 2024 so far and you're looking forward to a fantastic Valentine's Day, which is a great time to reflect on what you love about life and doesn't have to just be about loving another person or does another person love you. It can really be about what do you care about, and today's episode it gets into some of that. It's going to be really cool. It's another joint episode with Nicole and Mickey, as we do another sort of joint podcast with the At Mickey SDT show. And do you want to have a little announcements for you? Guys, and some of you probably already recognized, we're doing the show a little bit less frequently here in 2024, every other week. That's because I have a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes to get some really great things prepared, ready for 2024. So not going to announce those until they're fully ready.
Speaker 1:You know, don't want to be like Zoolander and, you know, tease you too much about. Was a blue steel. I thought about the one that the look you know, because he had. He had a few looks like Magnum and blue steel and the Tigre and I think I think blue steel was the one he was about to reveal at the end and then finally he reveals it. Oh, but he was maybe teasing people for a little long time, but again, remember, he didn't spell so good. So Zoolander not the best. So not I might be as good looking as Zoolander, but I'm not going to emulate him as far as strategy and marketing and things like that. So got that coming.
Speaker 1:And so, as far as you know, some love. If you're looking to find ways to love your life and the people you're with or maybe you don't have people you love and you're looking to find them or find ways to love them or love your job more, I highly recommend my Amazon bestselling book engineered to love going beyond success to fulfillment. It's also available as an audiobook, unaudible, and if you subscribe to Spotify you can listen to my audiobook for free. So just look up my name, justin Wink W-E-N-C-K, or look up engineer to love, or go to engineer to lovecom, and you can do that. So love yourself, love me really is about finding what allows us to enjoy things more.
Speaker 1:And now I kind of want to talk a little bit about what you're about, to listen to what we get into. So Mickey's going to be talking a little bit about his German culture and how and I agree because I lived in Germany for a time how Germans are really kind of upfront with their emotions and what's going on and compared to this Americans that and again, when you're you know in it, you don't recognize it. But when you go to other cultures and come back in America, we kind of keep our feelings on the down low. We don't really give too much. There's the business saying a little bit about like you know, hey, we're Michael Full-Kamono which is about opening up the Kamono and letting people show what you got going on underneath. We usually keep that Kamono very closed and put another robe and then maybe a big hat on, and then we go inside and so we talk about that. And then, nicole and I, we also start chiming in about our experiences of different cultures, from travels from South Korea to Spain, and the joy and perception of contentment that we start learning from all of our travels, and things like that.
Speaker 1:Then we get into talking about mindfulness and its role in the pursuit of happiness and just how, when you sort of really get into just being here which sometimes just is forced upon you when you travel yet you can focus on being here, now, here and now, wherever you are, and that really just gives a gateway into a little bit of a slice of happiness, kind of no matter what's happening, no matter where you are. And then we wrap the show by getting into a little bit of a. You know what I'm talking about. You know one of my one of the things I'm really good at is neuro-linguistic programming and also the concept of self-love.
Speaker 1:So we talk about that and you know, one of the questions is is you know, this is something you can start to consider right now, and then, when we talk about it, you'll probably already be like, ah, okay, I'm with these guys is fill in the blank with the following sentence being happy is blank to me. Now, whatever you fill that in with, and the less you think about it, the better, the more of just whatever pops into your head, it's going to give you a really, really good insight into your beliefs and your aspirations. And so then we get into talking about the role of love in our lives and we finally, in the episode, with some little transformational wisdom you can carry into your journey into living a more joyful life, cause it's one thing to have some impact, yet wouldn't it be even more amazing if you have impact while enjoying the time you have that impact? So cozy up and let us accompany you on this adventure into the quest for human happiness. Thank you and enjoy the show. Mickey, take it away, hi listeners.
Speaker 2:Thanks for joining Today. I'm again with Dustin, and also Nicole is on board and you want to continue our interesting discussion. So, hi guys, how are you doing today?
Speaker 3:I'm doing really well, thank you. Here. It's super cold in Chicago, unfortunately, but I'm sure it's really warm In California. I take you wearing like a t-shirt, obviously, so I'm sure like you're enjoying the beautiful human weather in California.
Speaker 1:It's definitely beautiful. It's sunny. For me, it's probably cold out. If I was going to go outside, I would put on a jacket, but I'm inside, where I'm keeping it a little cosier. But it is gloriously sunny right now, which is great. We did have a little rain a couple of days ago, but yeah, for me it's probably. To you You'd be like oh, this is like bathing suit weather, like bring out the bikini and swim trunks and let's go. But for California, a person like me, I'm like oh yeah, stay in wait for it to get a little warmer.
Speaker 3:Exactly, very cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good to be back on.
Speaker 1:Good to be back with you guys so good. Yeah, that was fun our last talk, and I know we got a lot of fun things to get into. So which topic are we going to get into first?
Speaker 3:I think you were discussing about happiness, correct? I think that's like what you want to talk about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm a little curious on because you guys are pretty well traveled but just what's the general happiness of experiences of different countries and of maybe our own country where we grew up?
Speaker 1:So I'm definitely curious on Mickey, because I think last time we learned that Mickey's German right and so there's at least the typical American thought of Germans is like, oh, they're a dour, unhappy people which when I actually lived there, I'm like this is like kind of the most untrue in practice. I think Americans, I think we're thought of as being like happy, happy people. Yeah, I think that's a show that we're actually putting on and I think most of us are actually, you know, most Americans are very, very unhappy and that it's a lot of work. We put in a lot of work to be as less unhappy as possible and I think we just kind of maybe go around to that. And then also maybe other countries you've been to where it's like these people are so happy. It's just a delight to go to this country because these are just like the happiest people on earth, like you know, not Disneyland, it's whatever this country is Okay.
Speaker 2:So you put me on the spot. So, first of all, I mean, there's a big difference between where I was born and the United States. Is that we are actually honest. So if you would ask someone like, hey, justin, how's it going? And even maybe you don't feel good, you would say I'm fine. Right, in German need. And you would say, no, I'm not feeling good. Right, because I'm not feeling good today for some reason. Right, and we are more and more frankly, that's the word right.
Speaker 2:And then, regarding traveling, so I was blessed that my parents even be traveled only maybe just in Germany or maybe just Italy or to the countries around Germany, but we traveled a lot. So as a child I was always on the road with them and so that's, I got the flavor of traveling and I liked it, because not only that make me happy that I see different things, and I remember they brought me every Christmas through the black forest and they enjoyed to do walking in the snow and walking in the forest, and in the summer we enjoyed to play blueberries right. So I mean, that was my childhood. That's how all this level started for me.
Speaker 1:I love that because it sounds like a lot of things you listed off were just experiences with nature and with people. There was no, I don't know big expenditures or no objects. Really, I think there is something to that honesty of when we can actually say, like I'm not happy, I'm having this challenge or this is something I don't like, it actually leads to more happiness because, yeah, like there's so much of a habit at least in my experience, of just well, I got to say I'm fine. Or somebody says is it okay if I do this? Just go, yeah, it's okay.
Speaker 1:And I recently got that experience where somebody said it was like oh, I'm going to smoke some weed and some tobacco, do you want any? And I was just like, oh no, I don't want any, but it's totally okay if you do. And then like an hour goes by and I'm just like this is not as fun for me or there's something off with the connection and I realized like that was not okay. I didn't want to be around somebody doing that, but I didn't say it yeah. So I kind of like this the honest thing. I think it is actually. I think it helps for more honesty I don't know, nicole, what's your experience?
Speaker 2:Or go ahead and make it. Yeah, let's hear no. Sorry, nicole, but I want to say something to this. Where I was born, there is carnival every year. You know this carnival concept where they're actually having parties for a couple of days and one I made the experience that when I went there, I wasn't I had not the alcohol level like all the people I was around and then I felt the same what you said, like just before, that the guy smoked his weed and his tobacco and you didn't feel good because he wasn't on the same level, right?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:Exactly. Um. So I think personally I agree with Mickey, because even my friend told me that most German people are very honest and I met a lot of them in Thailand and I would just ask them, like, how their day is going. They're like, no, not really good. Like at the time they're like they're traveling around Thailand, they weren't like able to speak Thai. They're like, oh, we're having difficulties because we don't have the language and we got ripped off by, like this Thai taxi driver. So I was like at least like they're honest, because I feel like if I was in the USA, it's like, oh, how's it going? Like, oh, it's, it's okay, it's fine. But you know, in reality, like nothing's really fine, like something is deep down like bothering that person, but we're so scared to say it because we're afraid that other person's like going to perceive us is like not stable or something's just going on in their life. So that's at least like my take on it.
Speaker 3:But I think, in terms of like, the happiest place I've been to has to be Spain, spain of Mexico for sure, because I know like, like he's like living in like Madrid and again, like he's talking about different festivals, they have all these festivals, like in Spain, like you never even know when these festivals are. They just happen like randomly. And like these random, like blunt, this blunt. These are like long, like weekends, like two or three day weekends. People aren't working.
Speaker 3:So it's definitely place people like they celebrate a lot. They have a lot of festivals and I know we have that in the USA, but it's not as many as like for 4th of July, it's Memorial Day like Memorial Day, but it's like more of like an honor. You know what I mean. So I feel like in Spain you just celebrate, just you just celebrate, you know, and it's. It's really interesting because I feel like in the USA you celebrate when someone gets married or they have a baby or something like that, but not when someone leaves their toxic job or they have a toxic boyfriend or girlfriend. So people need to like really start subbing like the little wins in life, if that makes any sense.
Speaker 1:Oh, it totally does. And I'm I'm like a weird person when someone says like, oh, I just got divorced. I got, I read them a little bit. But most people that I'm actually from I go congratulations, this is great, like what an opportunity. And they're like oh, thank you. So everyone's usually like oh, I'm so sorry, I couldn't stand being there, or I have that job or anymore, and that's funny.
Speaker 1:You bring up the festivals and the carnivals, because I, it's like we do have them in the US, but I feel no joy going to any like a street fair or a festival, because it's just, it's they're usually busy and then it's usually just about consumption, like you know, spending a lot of money on food, spending a lot of money on stuff, and yeah, and I'm just like I just don't enjoy being. It's where those of you that maybe get a chance to see like these videos, like Nicole is just like lighting up, thinking about these festivals in Spain is just like you could, yeah, yeah. And I'm just like I can't think of going to something in the US where I was just like and it was so good going to this random, random thing. It's like only if I'm it's maybe like a wedding or something like that, and I actually know and like the person, then it can be joyful. Otherwise it's usually just like I guess this is what I'm supposed to do.
Speaker 3:I guess you're supposed to go to these things and yeah, it's true, and sometimes it gets like out of hand because people get like really like they become like alcoholics, they're like it's starting to fight or whatever. It's really crazy.
Speaker 3:It depends obviously where, but that's just like you never know. And I also have the fear because I remember it was a long time ago in, like Las Vegas, they had, like that, shooting at the music festival or at a concert. So I guess, like in the USA, you never know when something could happen and you always have to like live with that sense of fear. And I hate that, because in Europe you don't have that. Our age, you don't have that at all. In South America, yeah, you do. That is that's the one thing that is quite similar to the USA. But in Europe, no. In Asia absolutely not. It's super safe in Asia.
Speaker 1:So yeah, and it's one of those, it's like it's a, it's a feeling that it's just like you go and it's just like wait, I'm going down like an alleyway, it's like nighttime and I feel okay, like it really is, just like this feels okay, which is, yeah, most places in the US. It's like I do not feel okay, I want to not be here anymore, I want to be home.
Speaker 3:Right yeah.
Speaker 1:So Spain's? Yeah, go ahead, Mickey.
Speaker 2:Another story from Madrid. What I found that these people, they really like to celebrate outside, right. So I mean there was, there was a concert, like from nothing famous, and I just want to check it out. But on my way to there I found so many parties close on the river like small groups that are music playing, and there was really just they celebrated in the summer, right, and and. But at the biggest thing, or one of the biggest things, the most amazing thing that I found, like five o'clock in the morning, some people came out of the club and they just went to the park and then they celebrated in the park and playing loud the techno music.
Speaker 2:I found that very interesting, right, so this is what you, it was not in the summer, it was actually in autumn, right, the way the temperature is not so hot, and then also they have dancing on the street, so like the teaching here, on on, on close to a church, but Shanta in salsa. I mean this is like these people know how to celebrate whenever they can, right, so this is the magic of Madrid. I haven't seen that in Barcelona. I mean maybe that's somewhere else in Spain, but I have seen it only in Madrid.
Speaker 1:But I'm kind of wondering if some of this happiness of observations around the world, if we could maybe tie into mindfulness. I know Nicole want to talk about mindfulness, but I kind of wonder if there's a little bit more mindful that people are of their, of their state and their desire, or of what, just what they're enjoying and being okay and going with that allows for more spontaneous expressions of true happiness, true, true joy, as opposed to sort of what I'll observe is like almost a second, a manufactured, packaged happiness where it's like oh yes, dance, dancing is happy, but I must do. I must do drinking or drugs in order to get into the state to be able to do that and it's, it was. Like there's not a real connection to the self or the real, the real feelings. It's like it's I'm going to get this done on a schedule.
Speaker 3:I was also thinking as well. Maybe it's like cultural, because they sit like in South Korea, like the Koreans are like Americans, they work so hard, and maybe they're obviously making less than like Americans, but like they they work a lot. The thing is like in Korea and I lived in Korea two years ago. Like I remember I like went to a restaurant after work I finished work after six PMO's working like nonstop to as well and people would just be drinking and drinking and drinking like six or seven shots of like soju, like older men would just be drinking their problems away. But people there are like extremely stressed out, like they just have a lot of like problems and whatnot. Right In terms of like working hard and that kind of thing, a lot of stress.
Speaker 3:But then, like in Spain, people make way less money than in Korea and USA, but I feel like there is a higher level of happiness in a sense. Maybe they just think they just don't think about money all the time. They think about their friends, their family, their loved ones and they just don't even like. I don't know. I just feel like they just don't really care much about money, you know, or like getting rich, or like building a lot of capital to become like the most richest person. But, like in the USA, it is very true, people talk about money all the time. Here, at least, that's like my take since I've gotten back, but yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like people do and they don't. It's like they talk about it in a way, but also it's also avoidant ways that are probably like actually productive, like well, does that actually make you happy or what is, or how are you going to go? But yeah, there is like a weird that's also like the America's, you know, deal with sex as well. It's like it's not talked about yet. It's also everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It's just we're quite amazing in a lot of ways. Yeah, there is something, because I was going to say that for like a really happy country I found, like Bali, like just the joy with like they just make magic with whatever there is, and it can just be with the nature or whatever. But yeah, and yeah, it just yeah, where it's just they seem to enjoy the relationships, the nature, just being, and it's not so much like well, when I have, when I have something else, when something else comes up, then I can be happy. It's just like I'm up, I'm happy. This is great. Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 2:So let's try here, draw, draw, draw, draw, whatever Make a line between mindfulness and happiness. You mean what actually mindfulness actually means. You mean you enjoy the moment. You sit on the shore of a small river and enjoy the sun goes down and you mean, and that's peaceful, and you focus only on that and in a way you're happy because you're just enjoying the moment. I mean that's for me mindfulness, to say I can enjoy the moment, I can enjoy nature and I just focus on this and leave everything away. Well, what bothered me before? Just to focus on the moment, right, and then that makes me happy and I find my inner peace. What is equal happiness?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's definitely mindfulness, and I also think there's also the mindfulness of noticing when it's like something is not good and being like really honest of that that's happening the moment. And I think there's a little bit of you know the cultures like Nicole was talking about Korea and also in the US, and there's definitely plenty of that like work really, really, really hard, lots of hours, all this, and focus, focus, focus on something that's going to come tomorrow. And then it's like that's a lack of mindfulness of how destructive that is and how much that's keeping us from those joyful moments. And so then it's like the only way to have moments of what appears like happiness, you know, to get all the happiness, the dopamine and the serotonins and that is to be chemically induced.
Speaker 1:Basically right, because honestly, it's like if one was being mindful, it's like, oh my gosh, this my life. There's such a tragedy that I've been missing out on so much. It's like there's some sadness and some grief to be felt, to feel a loss of the joy to come through, and so it's when I was like I get why it is, but it's like okay, because I know I've been on a journey of like well, how do I get out of that, getting out of that cycle of work and then use substances, and then it's like, okay, it's not like an overnight thing and so, yeah, so I think it is like a culture thing. And then we also have our personal journeys and, yeah, is there a way that people can get more, regardless of where they came from, but get more into that state of mindfulness that you're describing, mickey, of that? Just like, hey, when you're at the river, be at the river and enjoy the river.
Speaker 3:I was thinking, since I do practice mindfulness, I see like a Thai monk every Tuesday here in Chicago. He's actually from Thailand, so he like really teaches us how to like really live in the present moment, Like just to be able to. I guess he just I'm trying to think he just says that like we have to be like very like mindful of like our breath, be very mindful of like you know what we're thinking of like in that present moment. And yeah, that's the thing. It's difficult because I feel like we are human, we have like active mindset, like we might have something to do later after, like we're doing something or we're thinking about the past. So he just like, really like lets us like fixate, like on the present and what we have to do at this present moment in order to like achieve greatness in a sense. But I am still working on that as we speak. I haven't perfected it, but it is definitely a work in progress.
Speaker 2:But there's two ways. I mean, if you really want to achieve something and you really focus on it and you're really in it, and then maybe you overdo it, and then on the other side, you're mindful, you're just doing the things that is necessary to do, but you don't overdo it. I mean that's what we heard from when we had the other podcast from this basketball player who said how he holds the ball. Does he hold the ball too hard? Then you're going to lose it, but he holds it in the right, in the right groove, then the game comes to him, comes to him and then he can make the past, he can make the shoot.
Speaker 2:This is the same as life, to say, if you're not too, if you're mindful and you're looking in a piece, and then the life comes to us and things happening in a way we could do before like crazy, crazy, but it didn't happen. And now it's happened for me, but we have the right mindset. So this is, I mean, it took me a long, long life to figure this out, but I'm on the way to figure it out. I'm happy about that.
Speaker 3:And I also feel like there's apps called. There's an app, it's called Calm, like you can download it I think they have a free trial or if you're to pay for it but they also give you different activities and how to practice mindfulness and yoga tips, yoga positions and listening to like beach waves or anything of that nature before you go to bed. So I really love the app Calm too, if you guys know of it or not.
Speaker 2:I used it for two years actually. Oh, very good, I got it for free for the first year and you know, some of the people are from Toronto. You know that and no idea. So there's some of these guys who are doing the daily sessions are from Toronto. Oh, that's so cool.
Speaker 3:And yeah.
Speaker 2:So I mean, yeah, there is another app like this or so there are lots of this, right, but I listen to this for almost two years. Then I stopped it for some reason. But that gives me a good insight of mindfulness and how to deal also with difficult situation, how to overcome, I don't know, fear or other things.
Speaker 1:Well, okay, there's, there's so many apps, and then there also ends up being a lot of different terminologies, like you know, sort of depending. You know if you're gonna do one of these. You know Western apps, you know it's all going to be sort of through the like science of mindfulness, and but then you can also come about it from, you know, like the Buddhist traditions or yoga traditions, and so it can start to seem like, oh, this space is like so overwhelming and so complicated and I'll never be able to win. I don't know from I don't know from my experience over many years of looking into many modalities, that they all kind of get to sort of like one underlying thing, and to me it really is just like getting to.
Speaker 1:I think there's something of when we're experiencing untruths that's a little bit disconcerting and this leads to, like you know, unhappiness, to dis ease and disease, whereas if we connect more and with what we can actually know is true, then that can lead to a relaxation and chance of like getting all of our resources, and so then it's like, well, what is what is true? And it really is. The only thing that is true is something that we are sensing in the moment, right now. So it's like you know. It's like right now you are hearing my voice, like I could be saying complete nonsense, but you the sound that you are hearing of my voice and like the quality and the tone that is a true thing you're experiencing. And if you're like being able to watch the video, you can like be looking at the pattern of my shirt or you know what my beard's like, and it's like that is something true or just, or the breath, like that your body is expanding on an inhale, contracting on an exhale. Like these these sensory things are true and it allows us to sort of like cut through a lot of the lies that our brain likes to tell us that it's like, oh my gosh, like this is scary, this person's gonna harm us, or like, oh, we're not going to have enough money. Or like, oh my gosh, like I totally messed that up and they're never going to want to talk to me again, and it's like that it could be true, but it's also could be a lot like it's a complete fabrication, like anything on Netflix, right, that's not a documentary, but even documentaries are often not true on Netflix and other places, right?
Speaker 1:So it's like we have these options to like go, you know, have all these stories. And then it's when we dial into like a moment of truth of just like, oh, I'm feeling my fingers touching each other, or what does this fabric feel like. Then it's like, okay, I can calm down because I'm experiencing something true. What's maybe a better story that I want to tell? Because in some ways, we're all sort of like creators of the story of our own life and it's kind of like Okay, well, what's the story we want to tell?
Speaker 1:Like we all have, based off our culture and our parents, we kind of have these stories that we got pre programmed with. And I think that's the fun of travel is we get to see like other stories that are possible. And then, as a result, we get to start to go like, oh, I like that idea. I like that idea, that idea I'm going to weave my own, my own life story and like, yeah, these mindfulness and like these touching in with the now is to me, I feel it's sort of like the gateway to the possibility of. It's like the blank space, it's like getting to the blank canvas, in a way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but the point is, if you travel, you see other things, you meet other people, you meet other culture, and that's question where you come from. This question is what is actually better for you? Right, you can come, you can live your life, what you grow up, what you know, or you pick up all the good things, what you discovered on your journey. I mean, that's what I have done. Right, this is my life and, yeah, I'm honest to myself. But but also I focus on the moment and we should more to what my body says, not what my mind is spinning around or what happened. This person likes me or not, or?
Speaker 2:that makes sense or if I make money with this or that. So it's just discover the moment and get at least the piece of it, and then you can see from a different point of view what happened. And then maybe you don't even overact anymore. It's come, so it doesn't come and it doesn't matter anymore because you are so relaxed, and then that's again. That's that's how I see life should be. Just not overdo it, just let it come to you and you know you, and then things happen and they happen Right. So I mean I have I made an experience again today.
Speaker 2:It's sometimes yeah, so it's interesting, but it's everyday in human. I like it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I think what I'd agree with you, mickey, is that the way you've been living life is the way I want to be living life, which is being open and trying new things and implementing what brings joy and being along for the ride or maybe I'll disagree a little bit is like I try to avoid saying that that's how it should be, because it's like there's some people that just they have no interest in. I'm like, hey, they want to, they want to see what life is like when you just do what you're supposed to do, and I'm like that's, that's a way to live life. It's not how I want to live it anymore.
Speaker 2:Yeah that's okay, it's okay. It's a bad choice. I would never say what I do is it's the only way? Of course not. That's my way. It's not a song, it's my way, right.
Speaker 2:And people don't like it, they can't do it, they're even jealous that I'm doing it, because that I have seen also, I'm going to connect with people and we ever go. I stay there for a while, suddenly all these people popping up and remember me and want to talk to me. This is this life and I don't, I don't, I don't fight this anymore. I just let it go, because that's what it is Right.
Speaker 1:I mean yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's okay. I mean it's not, it's not, it's not for everyone, I gather that's that's okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because yeah, some people meet somebody like you, mickey, that's yeah, a connector, that's great at meeting people and all that stuff and go like, oh, was this person like the? Whereas me I'm just like I'm always happy to meet someone like you, because I have such a hard time doing that and remembering who does this and all these connections, and I'm just always like I'm so grateful I out whenever a new connector type comes into my life because I'm like, okay, great, there's, there's about to be some you know, new cool people probably coming into my life. And yeah, not everybody's able to see that, yeah, go ahead, nicole.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I was also thinking too as well, like I was in that position where I thought I should do what everyone else did and then I didn't plan anything at all. Like I was working as a college advisor and I went on vacation and my mom said, oh, there's a way for you to be able to work abroad, and I just like scoped the idea. I was like, mom, I'm not going to become an English teacher. Like that's crazy. I didn't study education. None of my friends do it. I'm not going to do it.
Speaker 3:At the time I was like 26 years old, right, so I didn't really know what I was going to do at that time. And then I decided, like look over and talk to my friend who did it and she's like you should do it. She's like just do it while you can, like you could do it any age you want to. And I decided, yeah, and after that I didn't stop, I kept just going and going.
Speaker 3:So it just became a very like addicting lifestyle and I think it's just really easy to connect to people who are expats, who have lived abroad or who maybe moved back and they still have those experiences, and it's just easier for me to connect to people who just like get it, and I mean people who just like that type of lifestyle, that type of adventurous lifestyle, like it's very challenging, but it's also very stimulating too as well, and you're learning every single day. As opposed to, like living in your like home country or state, you know the same exact thing, you have to speak the same exact language. You speak in English all the time, but if you're like in Spain, or if you're like in Thailand or Vietnam, like you're learning the language and every day it's just super challenging and I like the challenge. Actually, I think it helps you really grow as a person and it really like shows you like what you're capable of, and I think it's important. It's all about self discovery, too, as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause I don't know. I keep finding that's like some. There's a lot of things I don't know if I like it or not until I try it or I'm exposed to it and it's like, yeah, you got to try it.
Speaker 3:And then you, that way, you'll know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like even just this weekend I was out having a winter coffee place with an old manager of mine and he's he's goes and asked the barista could I, could I get a latte made with these two different teas, this tea and this team? Could you make it into a latte? And you know the one? The one woman was like I have no idea, let's go ask the more senior person. And she was like oh yeah, yeah, we could. I would have never thought to even ask, like I didn't even know that that was possible. She could say I want two random teas made into a lot to have, like yeah, the tea yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it was just cool. I don't know if I ever want to do that, but maybe I'll try it someday.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's um. Is there any? Did we want to talk about any other topics or how's, what's? Uh, what do we? What are we feeling like?
Speaker 2:I mean, we had this, this MLP.
Speaker 1:That's right, the neuro linguistic programming.
Speaker 2:No, you're wrong. So you said you went to this in a kind of coaching from from these people, right?
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:So what you learned about, I mean because I know it only from the computer world right, but not as a as a method for people. So maybe let's have a talk about this we discover what that actually is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, um, so a lot of you know, so many people might not be familiar with neuro linguistic program. I'm trying to remember when it was developed. I can't remember, uh, a couple of, I think, academic professors. It could have been in the seventies or the eighties or um, but probably most people's experience, if they've ever, like, heard of Tony Robbins or experienced Tony Robbins, like that is his thing, it's like, it's like, oh, tony Robbins talks in a way that most people don't naturally talk and it's because he's talking using these neuro linguistic programming principles, which the basic idea is that sort of like how, how we talked inside our own internal dialogue is sort of like program programming us Cause it's like what we are saying internally is creating, you know, internal picture, sounds and feelings, and then those are sort of going to drive like our behaviors and what shows up in our, in our life.
Speaker 1:And so if we get mindful of that and then we start to change it and use different do use different words, do different terms, different patterns, then it's going to impact. We're going to start having different feelings and different behaviors and our life is going to change. And so that's not just you know internally, but also if you talk to other people, uh, these, these certain ways, um, it's going to have an impact on how they feel and how they behave, and things like that. So you know, this is also can be used for like marketing and all sorts of things, uh like that. And so I'm not surprised, cause I didn't actually know this, but Mickey was uh pointing to that. I guess, uh, like, a lot of AI models uh, I guess use this, which would make kind of sense, cause it's the ideas that they are meant to replicate human intelligence as much as possible, and so they sort of use a model of how humans uh communicate and do things would sort of make sense.
Speaker 2:And all what they want to do is they want to replicate the thinking of the brain, also the thinking of how natural languages you know that because this is now all on the forefront in a new realm that they want to say, when you ask some question, that you just say it in your natural language and then, based on this, the computer uh, understands this and give you the answer right, and also based on the, on the inputs they learn about it to get to the better with the answer that the more he does it's like a child the more learns vocabulary, the more vocabulary he knows, or everyone who learns the language.
Speaker 2:Right, and they just want to replicate that now is artificially intelligent and but but it's interesting what they said the inner voice or the inner concept that that drives I mean this drives actually how you also being seen from the outside. If you go and said, if you said oh, I'm a little bit, I know I'm not good, then the world sees you like this, but if you're the opposite, then then something comes out of you and everyone wants now to be with you because you have this positive mindset.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's being aware of, well, what is, what is my current mindset? And then, well, what would I? What would I like it to be? And then the other thing about us humans is that we're able to kind of you know, uh. You know, in fact, not just you know, uh, with viruses and bacteria, but with emotion and with ideas, right, which is uh to me.
Speaker 1:Uh, when I start to become aware there's, it starts to be like, uh, there's places I don't want to go anymore because it's like I don't want to take on the ideas or the emotions of certain people. Like, I used to be really into going to yoga, um, but now I am very careful of, like, what yoga classes I go to, because sometimes, if, like, a yoga teacher is going to go, get up and start going like, oh, we all know how like difficult the world is and how depressing it can be and all the problems in the world, and I and internally I have to go like that's, that's not true. Like I see lots of possibility in the world, I see like, but it's like I have to consciously go like I'm not going to take that on as as a truth, but most people aren't even aware that that thought is getting put into them. And so then it's like oh, the world is tough, the world is challenging, it's like. And then people wonder why, like, the world seems tough and why the world seems challenging? It's because they've sort of been programmed. That's why it's neuro linguistic programming. It's like it's what is our programming? Then how can we update the programming?
Speaker 1:And I did come up with, I did finally think of some like examples of like this programming. And then why it's important that, like, an AI should know it. Because it's important for it to know, like, well, what is the impact of language that it spits out? It's because it's just, if it's just going to, like, pick random stuff, um, but it's like, oh, write something that makes people feel happy, but it has no idea of, like, what language patterns do that, and then just put something that is neutral or causes unhappiness, like that's not going to be a very helpful AI writer, right. And so the one of the examples is um would be like, you know, we something, something bad happens, right. Like you lose your, we'll go to the, the lose your job, or you can get get divorced. And there it might be.
Speaker 1:The initial thought be, it might be like why am I such a loser? And it's like what is the basically the mind that tries to answer any question right? And so it's going to come up with all the reasons of like why am I? Well, it's, it could be more attractive. Maybe you're not a smart, you could be making more money. And then what is that doing? It's just reinforcing that identity of being a loser. Uh, I always find it funny when it's like somebody's something, something it goes like oh my gosh, the most horrible thing happened to me today and I'm feeling just awful about it. So, like, what do? What do most people ask in that situation?
Speaker 2:But what you just said, you could see it also from the other side. Okay, you lose your job, you get divorced. Okay, so, first of all, why you get divorced, but maybe there's someone better for you, that is a blessing. And the second, the same with the job. You lose your job, maybe that was not a job and you find another one who fits better to you, or you start your own thing. So you could always see it from both sides. I mean, yeah, something happened, but it's you how you take it right. You can take it negative or you can take it positive, right. So that's your choice. Again, right?
Speaker 1:Well, it becomes your choice once you have the awareness that you can be asking yourself these other questions. And I love those things that you are like asking about Mickey, because, yeah, those brings up possibilities of ways that it might be actually more helpful to bring joy or more options to the situation. But a lot of people, like they don't have that. You know that, and that's sort of one of the things that neuro linguistic programming is trying to do is give people like more, more options.
Speaker 1:Usually, you know there's all, there's always ways some of the stuff could be used unethically to sort of like narrow down somebody's options to something that you know is more manipulative. And you kind of see this a lot in politics, right, where it's just like oh, how can we make people as see that the opposing side is the only option is that they are awful and they're going to do horrible things, whereas our team, our team, is going to, you know, make things great again, again. So you know there's these. These tools are like any sort of tool there can be like a shadow side, right, it's like a, you know, a knife can, you know, be used to do great surgery, but it can also be used to, you know harm as well, right?
Speaker 2:So I kind of but then come back to again. You mean all of this. If you wanted to be happy, so then the way is to see it from the positive side. I mean because, because if you see it not from that side, when it makes you more happy, so if your, if your purpose is to be happy, then the inner voice and the inner view should be more happy.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, well, this brings up another sort of aspect of, I'd say, neuro linguistic programming, is what ends up being the associations of different words, ideas, beliefs, because for a lot of, for a lot of people, I'll ask, I'll ask each of you, like so, really quickly, fill in the bank you know of, you know what are the top. Come up with like three, three additional words to come after this statement. Being happy is blank to me. So what are like three, three words that you want to fill that in with? Being happy is blank to me. Like, come up with three, three versions of that sentence.
Speaker 2:Enjoying lives. Be mindful.
Speaker 3:I think being financially stable and knowing that you have some financial security is really important too as well.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, and see so that, so that one's a little bit of like, there's a, there's an aspect of that statement that's like being happy isn't, isn't necessarily easy. There's, there's a dependency, and the thing is there's no, actually there's zero right answer for any of this, it's just like being aware, you know. So there's also the option of like being happy is selfish, and so so, like right, like I don't know, I think I definitely had, like you know, parents that might have had that like being happy is selfish, and so then it's like, if there's that, and then it's like, well, then I can't have all of these other possibilities that lead to happiness, because I don't want to, because being selfish is bad, I don't need bad. So therefore, I can't be happy. None of this is true. But also, there's no truth about, you know, being happy.
Speaker 1:Being happy is my right. I mean, that can be. Is it true? I don't know, but I'd rather it be true, if I can pick anything in my story. Because, again, like going back to, like the, the mindfulness, the in the moment stuff, it's like the stuff we only know to be true is like what I'm experiencing right now, that I'm breathing, that I'm currently making noise that I'm currently looking at Nicole shaking her head and that I can feel the seat that my bottom is on. But otherwise, all these other things, they're really we don't know if they're true or not right, but it's like what's going to give us the experience that we want and it's like I'd rather be happy. So I'm going to start to choose these patterns and these beliefs and things that support that. So, like, like.
Speaker 2:Mickey's got some great ones.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was also thinking too as well, like in terms like the people that you meet that bring you happiness, like their different way of like thinking, of course, like their perspectives, if they practice like being like very grateful, like, for example, I tried to. I should start doing this more, but I have like a list of like being grateful for things like friends, family, water, shelter, etc. You know, to be able to create like a list of like great gratefulness or just to have like a list of gratitude would be super important too as well. But I think it's just the people that make you feel like really happy. That could be it too as well. So I don't know.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, being happy as being with people that are uplifting, or yeah, they love you Exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Nicole said it before me, but I wanted to say that also, you'll be happy to be grateful what you have, and just even even only with that, and then that's the start of happiness. And maybe it's not, I'm driving the dream power of my life, but it doesn't matter. I'm happy that I'm still alive, I'm still here and have something to eat and meet some people and having this discussion with you guys. So just the simple thing, and the less the simple it is, the more happy I am. I mean, that's that's. That's something right.
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely, yeah, it's like you're grateful and there's a little bit of yeah. When the the needs drop, then the more everything just starts to seem like a gift, right, like and I recently heard an argument and I think maybe it's from like a Buddhist teaching that that a human, a human, actually has zero needs. Everything is actually just a desire. And sometimes it's like, well, what about what? What about water? It's like, well, you don't need water right now. Like, right, you don't need it, you're fine.
Speaker 1:It's like, yeah, well, at some, at some point, you might, you know, get dehydrated and die. And then they argue and it's like, well, but a dead person also doesn't need water. Like it's like, yes, you would have a strong desire to have water because you want to live and you want to have these experiences. And it's just kind of an interesting thought experiment to think of like you know what's really neat, and to start seeing things as like a choice of desire of like, what do you want to experience? I would rather experience a lot of not being extremely thirsty so that I can enjoy my life, and then being grateful for the you know, the water and the things that allow us to have these experiences.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh, very cool. What about this? This might be interesting to us all about like love, like when you find someone you love, like wife and girlfriend, wife or husband, but then sometimes you never know because people change. So that's also a little bit complicated to as well, right? So it just depends on the people.
Speaker 1:Oh, that can be a whole yeah.
Speaker 2:Interesting topic because why you started with that. I know what the timing it's okay.
Speaker 3:Next thing this also.
Speaker 2:We haven't been that for.
Speaker 3:February.
Speaker 1:There you go, that's a good one yeah.
Speaker 2:No, I mean I want to have to say something because you brought it up. I mean, the less you get attached to some someone and just let's again my opinion, my take on it Then in the double. For me, then the easier is this kind of relationship, because then it's actually less complicated and the more I can be myself, then it's also the better is this relationship, because I came out of a relationship where I'm not worth myself and then I just said that's not good for me, I have to go, exactly so. And then you mentioned this word love. So the love to yourself should be greater than the love to someone else, because it starts with you, right? I mean, if you don't love yourself, then how you can love someone else? Right, that's right, yeah, wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's it's the good it's the good news, bad news it's it's all up to you, or me, or us.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you have to like make sure, like you're stable yourself before, like you get in a relationship with somebody or you love somebody because you have to like, really know, like what you value and like and just have people like you know, work upon yourself and whatever issues someone's facing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's. It's a yeah, the world reflects us. So it's sort of like someone crazy comes in. It's like, okay, what part of me is crazy, or allowing crazy, or whatever that is. And so then it's like and I've definitely seen this it's like as I, as I work on myself, become more aware and more conscious about you know how I am, how I feel about myself, how I love myself. Then it's like the people that I connect with romantically is completely, completely different. Like it's just like, oh, there's going to be joyous and loving and beautiful and doesn't have to be fighting and stress and worry. And yeah, it's a yeah, I think we could have a whole, we probably have a whole conversation on that.
Speaker 3:So yeah, we're all.
Speaker 2:I think we're almost to like an hour, so maybe any last words, maybe to after this is very difficult to say some large words, but you mean, we become an interesting crowd and everyone goes on his own journey. So that's what I believe in and this is why it's interesting to have this conversation, to just chair everyone's experiences, and I hope our listeners can take something out of it from all what we said. I mean, if they're, if they're in a situation where they're just to go back and focus on the basics and focus on themselves, and then then you find the mindfulness and also the inner peace. So that's my final statement.
Speaker 3:I agree to. I think what make you said is completely true and again, just like loving yourself before you put yourself in a relationship and just sorting out whatever problems you're facing. But yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think I'll just say, like you know, these, a lot of these things are not complicated, they're simple.
Speaker 1:Yet simple doesn't necessarily mean easy, and all of these things become a lot easier when you work with other people and you know it's like you're listening to things that support where you want to go, you're with people that support what you want to be experiencing, and so if you're, you know, not having that support, you know reach out or do something different, because if you keep doing the same thing, you're going to keep getting the same thing. If you keep thinking the same thoughts, you're going to keep getting the same reactions. And yeah, so I think it's really fun that we kind of went through the happiness to the mindfulness, to the neuro linguistic programming and a little bit on love, which I think, if we bring love into everything, that also makes a lot easier to and it's so good to see both of you again and chat. And yeah, I'm like, I'm like, ah, we could probably go another hour, but I'm trying to like we already would like the last one was an hour 10. And I think we're still going to be close to an hour on this one.
Speaker 3:So okay, we definitely covered a lot of ground, so we have a lot of very useful content and information to as well.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, Hope you enjoyed the show. Make sure to check out Mickey on Instagram at Mickey SDT, and you can find Nicole also on Instagram by going to her page, which is at Nicole Rose travels the world. Remember to also follow me at Justin link, phd. I'm on tick tock Instagram, youtube, facebook and LinkedIn, and so, with that, remember to like, follow, subscribe, rate me five stars and appreciate it, and good day.