Who do you need to keep happy to have a successful career, life, or relationship?
Drawing from personal experiences and insights gained during my time working in Germany, I share valuable lessons that have shaped my approach to happiness and success.
We'll explore the significance of identifying and nurturing the happiness of three key individuals in any situation: yourself, the immediate collaborator or partner, and the ultimate beneficiary or client.
Through candid anecdotes and philosophical reflections, I'll guide you through the importance of aligning intentions, values, and actions to foster fulfillment and harmony in all aspects of life.
Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!
Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!
Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.
Remember to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode! Connect with me:
JustinWenck.com
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
YouTube
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended, music and pics belong to the rightful owners.
=====================================================
Who do you need to keep happy to have a successful career, life, or relationship?
Drawing from personal experiences and insights gained during my time working in Germany, I share valuable lessons that have shaped my approach to happiness and success.
We'll explore the significance of identifying and nurturing the happiness of three key individuals in any situation: yourself, the immediate collaborator or partner, and the ultimate beneficiary or client.
Through candid anecdotes and philosophical reflections, I'll guide you through the importance of aligning intentions, values, and actions to foster fulfillment and harmony in all aspects of life.
Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!
Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!
Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.
Remember to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode! Connect with me:
JustinWenck.com
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
YouTube
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended, music and pics belong to the rightful owners.
=====================================================
Are you ready to live a life with enough time, money and energy, have relationships and connections that delight you? Are you ready for the extraordinary life you know you've been missing? If so, then this is the place for you. I'm a bestselling author, coach, consultant and speaker who's worked in technology for over two decades. I'm a leader at transforming people and organize from operating in fear, obligation and guilt to running off joy, ease and love. It's time for Engineering Emotions and Energy with me. Justin Wink, phd. Welcome to the show. So great to have you here today.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:I am talking about who do you need to keep happy so that you can have a successful career or life or relationship. This isn't just for one thing we like to separate things but it's life. Who do you need to keep happy to have a successful life? And, trust me, this is definitely going to pay off in your career. It doesn't matter if you are someone who manages, if you get managed, if you are a business owner or if you work a salary job or even if you're in school. Still, this is going to help with no matter what, and this is an amazing lesson that I learned, and I've been living for well over a decade. I learned this working in Germany. Before we get to that, do you want to acknowledge that we are? This should be the first episode going out on YouTube. I've been working for about a couple months with my amazing assistant, christine, who's been putting together the intros and the outros and the flow so that we can really make sure that this podcast and the information just flows really well on YouTube. So if you're watching on YouTube, so great Welcome. Good to see you. And I'm not worrying about this being perfect because I'm wearing my I am enough t-shirts in celebration that things don't have to necessarily be perfect. They just need to be done and attempted, done beats, perfect, and I'm so, so excited for this to be happening, this to be out there. And to those of you still listening on the podcast apps, wherever podcasts are heard, downloaded, viewed, thank you for listening, whether this is your first show or maybe you've been with me for all.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:I think this is episode 164. All of those previous episodes, thank you so much to celebrate a little bit of on a new platform, doing new things that my book is called engineered to love, but this podcast just going to be engineering emotions and energy with Justin Wake, phd. That's me. So just a little bit simplifier, because I know you're busy, I'm busy, but are we really busy? Are we being impactful? Are we being discerning about how we use our time? Why? Why use extra words like the and podcast, when you don't need it? There's a lot of things in life that you don't need and we are not going to be having those things on this podcast, on this YouTube channel. We are going to have things that you need, that are going to help you live a life that you've just barely even dared to dream, and you will dream even bigger, and that's what we're going to be talking about.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:So, going to be getting into the main topic, I do want to talk about a couple of things that I've been into. So it's like hey, what's Justin? What's Justin been up to? What's he been been into? So, by the shirt, if you've seen the Barbie movie, you might know like be like oh, justin saw the Barbie movie. If you haven't, you might be like why the hell did Justin watch? Why did this guy, why did this man watch the Barbie movie and why is he so late? Wasn't that summer of 2023? So, yes, I was a little slow. I watched the Oppenheimer of the barb and Heimer and I missed the Barbie last year but I'd heard good things and I finally watched it a little bit ago and I was so delighted that I got inspired actually by a shirt related to the movie, because I it really is.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:I would recommend it to anyone. It's not just for women. I'd say this is a movie for everyone because I feel like what's so amazing about it is I felt like just about everyone had an arc where they learned, they grow, they ended up better off and it really kind of felt like I liked just about everybody at the end of the movie. There was maybe one character that I was like at the end I'm like, alright, this is kind of lame, but as far as a big budget Hollywood blockbuster type, that's incredible. It's only kind of have one character that is sort of lame and cliche and just that you would kind of see just about in every other single blockbuster. Otherwise I felt like almost every character, especially the kin character, which I thought was just really incredible, that there was a lot I related and I don't want to spoil it, but where most of his life starting in the movie is like he's only happy if Barbie pays attention to him, and I know I felt earlier in my life that it's like I only feel good if I'm getting paid attention to by people I care about, and that's something that it's like.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:It's a hard life because to be dependent on others, whereas it's really about how can we depend on ourselves to basically float our own boat right, and then we get to choose where we sail in this sea of possibility. That is life, and when we're sailing, it's nice to know, like, well, what are some things that can make the ride a little bit more enjoyable, what can allow us to navigate the waters a little bit more smoothly, and sometimes it's knowing, like, how the waters operate. So that's where today's topic comes in about. Who do you got to keep happy in life, in career especially, because this is I learned while working in Germany. This was in 2011,. I had the opportunity to work for six months at a research lab. This was back with Intel.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:They had a small little city in Braunschweig, germany, which only about a quarter million people, but it's still very city like because it's hundreds and hundreds of years old. It's the Läuvenstadt, which is the lion city. So I'm sure my listeners that speak German are like, wow, you just slaughtered that, justin. But I come all the way from the US. I've never been to Germany before and if I get my first sit down with my manager, who is the director of this group, and he is a Norwegian man managing in Germany and he was maybe one of the most beautiful men I think I'd ever sat across in person he was probably like six three. He had beautiful, sparkling blue eyes and his lips were, like, you know, red and his cheeks, you know, filled with color.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:I was like, is this guy wearing makeup? And I kind of don't know me. It's like, oh well, a lot of makeup must come from people Probably have these attributes, you know. It's like, oh well, let's look like. You know, the makeup probably didn't come out of nowhere. It was like, oh, let's try to look like the people we, you know, go like oh, this person looks like they got something going on. But I was just like, wow, this beautiful man, and he's big, like you know, norwegian, like. So it's like I'm like, ok, I'm sitting across from Thor, but with shorter hair, basically. And he says to me now welcome, we're very happy to have you here.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:And the thing we go ahead and make sure is that the right people stay happy, and three of us need to be kept happy, and those three people are it's me, you and Matthias, and you might be going like, well, who the hell is Matthias? So Matthias was the person that I was actually going to be doing work for on his project. Matthias' project was the project I was going to be doing work on, and so the point of this story is and I believe this to be true in just about any situation in life is there's going to be three people that need to be kept happy whenever you're interacting, and this isn't one of these things where you are actually responsible for other people's happiness. You are not Everyone's responsible for their own happiness, yet it's more of like do you have an awareness? Are you serving? What do you care about? There should be, you should have, an awareness and a concern and a wish for these three people's happiness.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:So, who's you know? Now I'm going to switch to my perspective of you know, there was me. I was the new young engineer that didn't know this place, didn't know exactly the role that I was going to be doing. It was one of those things where I was like, yeah, I think I took a couple of classes on this type of work in college, but I really haven't been working on it the past year, year and a half. I'm sure I can figure it out. And then there's you know, the director who was responsible for you know he paid to bring me over and you know he's paying Matias, and he had a budget and he had things that he needed to show upper management that justify, hey, this is why he should continue doing what he's doing. And then there was Matias, who I will call basically the customer or the client, or the one being served ultimately by what's being done. So let's just start with, you know, me and the director, and so it really doesn't matter who's who in this situation.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:The point is, whenever two people are working together or relating together, there should be, you know, I should be responsible for my own happiness. And then I need to communicate that if I am currently not not happy in the situation, right? So it's like, if there's something, it may be, it may have to do with the other person or it may not, but it's just like. You know, hey, really it was, it's amazing. You know just that like hey, your happiness matters. So I would advise, even like having this of like hey, the goal is that we should all be able to be happy in this situation, in this habit, and if not, let's talk about it, let's figure it out, because this is the we should be aspiring to all of us being as happy and joyful as we possibly can. If not, let me know. And so that's that was really good.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:The other person in the situation, they also should be able to be happy and joyful in the situation, right, and so this really is saying like well, what's the intention of us being in this relationship, whether it's work, personal or whatever it is, even if it's just, you're just doing something quick, is like, hey, we can all be happy in this, you know, and I'm going to do my part for my happiness, and then I'm also going to to whatever I'm able to, whatever I'm aware of, want you to be happy as well. And you know, it's like we each do what we can, but also there's a responsibility, like I'm responsible on my side and the other person responsible on their side. And it's like okay, yeah, justin, this makes sense to people. But what? What's the importance of this?
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:Third, why is Matthias so important, aside from the fact that he was, you know, a brilliant man with great ideas and very smart and then just an adventurous traveler, like I think the guy would go walk on ice and do ice climbing and stuff for vacation, like just incredible. So, besides, that, matthias represents basically the greater purpose to whatever it is you are doing in any given situation. So if in this it was like he was basically my customer, and so if I and if I'm doing my coaching business or my consulting business, so when I'm working with my, my amazing assistant, christine, the third person is is you listening, watching this? You become that third person, you know, because it's like I want to be happy and I want Christine to be happy, but I also want you listening, getting this information, to also be happy. So it's having consideration of what matters to you. And if you're like listening to this and you're like, well, I'm not happy with this at all, then let me know. That's the whole, you know.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:And it's like, again, we can't be happy 100% of the time, but there's a little bit of like what are we, what are we striving to, what are we doing here? And it's like how, how am I? I'm here to serve you, the listener, you, the viewer, and that's, that's what we're collectively working towards, something greater than just ourselves. And so if you're in any place of work, if there's not that third person, that's probably not good, that probably is not going to be the healthiest thing, and so you might be going like, well, justin, what about? What? About a relationship? This is probably you know why often there ends up being, you know, pets or the other goals or children is because it sort of it ends up being like well, now we have the third thing to rally against, or more hopefully, you're not against your pets or against your kids.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:I don't know. It's about what do you? What are you in this for? And even without that, there could just be a little bit more of a philosophical purpose of the exploration of joy, or just the exploration of love or the exploration of communication. There could be that you're serving higher values, right, and so it's sort of like if these values aren't being kept, happy, I mean, the value doesn't care, but it's being served. So it's like if you're relating and the whole purpose is communication or integrity or growth or adventure or fun, and that's not being satisfied, then and these are all values that I find important when I'm in relating with anybody.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:If that's not being honored, explored, served by what the two people involved are, then whoa, if something probably needs to be done. And you know, and these and when it's like an ideal, it's going to have a hard time. So it's up to each person to have that awareness, which is again why I'm calling this or saying the subject is the three people you need to keep happy, is because it's like it requires having that awareness, that checking in of am I in alignment with what I set out to be, in alignment with which? If it's two people working for the greater good of just one customer or a client, or maybe it's a whole business, right? And we see this with large corporations. It's like who do they serve? Who do they serve? Who does the largest corporation serve? Shareholders? I'm not going to get into that, but you know there's always the third person and the more you can know who, the be aware of who the third person is, what the third person cares about and how to stay alignment with that, then the easier it's going to be for the other two people to also be in alignment with that happiness goal.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:And again, it doesn't necessarily have to be happiness. It could be joy, it could be contentment, it could be self-realization. There's probably a number of things, but this, I feel like this model is very brilliant and, you know, it's something that's been with me ever since I learned it in 2011 of like, okay, boy, yeah, who's involved here and who do I need to be aware of? And then what's my part in it? And then recognizing that everyone else has a part in it too, and that just because the director wasn't happy doesn't necessarily mean I messed up. That just meant that they need to let me know, like, well, what's, what's out of alignment, right, matthias didn't know, wasn't happy. It's like, okay, well, it's up to you. Know, I, if I notice, I want to ask and like, hey, what's going on? And so it's just like, hey, we're all going to do our best to come towards this. And if we're all working towards that, things go really easy.
Justin Wenck, Ph.D.:And again, we're human and sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes we miss things, sometimes we hold back or we're not even aware that something's bothering us until it's too late, and then maybe somebody gets frustrated or angry, and then you work on it, you can. You know each, each person to the best goes. Oh, this is what we're working for. Let's see if we can get get to that, get in alignment. And sometimes you can't always get into that alignment and it's like, well, maybe, maybe it's just time to come to a new arrangement, and that's a whole other topic, that's a whole other episode. I've probably talked about it in the past and maybe, if you're interested, and talk about it in the future. So you know, please comment like you know, let me know, and with that I want to call this the wrap up of the first of the renewed, redistributed, rewidened Engineering Emotions and Energy Show. So thank you so much with that, take care and good day.