Ep 47: (Re)Treat Yo Self!

Has the groove of your life become a rut? Maybe you’ve tried to "Treat Yo Self", but perhaps it's time to "Re-Treat Yo Self!" by going on a retreat. I'll talk about my recent 10 day retreat that I self-organized and did at a local AirBnB and review the 5 Benefits of a Retreat: 

• Relaxation
• Solitude
• Clarity
• Gratitude
• Perspective

 I'll then give some tips on how you can find your own retreat or perhaps just create a little retreat space right at home. 

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Transcript

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Justin Wenck: 0:01

Welcome to the engineering emotions and energy podcast. I'm your host, Justin Wenck. Welcome to the show, home box office Can I call you HBO? So we're going to be talking a little bit about getting away from the house. And so a lots been going on in the last couple of weeks. So I have been kind of doing a bit of a series tied to the various meditations I like to offer so you know, we talked about, you know, proprioception for relaxation, love and compassion, the challenges of the word why and how to use the word why effectively by posing lofty questions such as, like, why is this one of the greatest podcasts you've ever heard? And why are you going to rate it five stars, so please do so if you would like to rate it, something less, shoot me up on, you know, social media, direct message me, you don't need to share that so that I can make this show better. And how to find me on social media, go to the brand new Justin wenck.com. and navigate to the podcast, link there. And you can find me on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, I, there might be others. But they're all there, Justin Wenck WEN ck.com. So a lots been going on. And I'm just like, I gotta share this stuff. And so we'll eventually get through, like, I got a lot of cool ways to help you reduce stress, increase your energy and live more from your heart. And I want to make you know, these tools available to you. So that they're just really easy, because I want to that was one of the things that came up with what today's topic is, which is not just treating yourself, but retreating yourself by going on a retreat. And I'm going to go over the five benefits of being on retreat. And so we'll get to that. But you know, one of the things that I got up to recently that happened was an opportunity to teach yoga. So you may or may not know, about six years ago, I became a certified yoga teacher doing a 200 hour yoga, teacher training. And in 2020, I finished an additional 300 hours. And I really hadn't, I hadn't gotten I hadn't teach, taught, taught, hadn't taught in at least three, three years, when I think I signed up for that yoga, teacher training. And I thought maybe I might get into it. But by the end of the yoga teacher training, I decided I didn't really want to teach yoga, necessarily, it was still a fantastic experience to just learn and to grow and to connect with the other people, which, you know, it got weird with having to do virtual yoga classes and things like that, you know, with 2020. So when I got asked a, there's this new yoga studio that's looking for teachers, would you like to teach, I was like, I would rather teach meditation, and I'd be willing to do a yoga station where I teach a little bit of yoga and a little bit of meditation. And if somebody only wants to stay for the first half, or the last half of the whole thing, I don't care.

Unknown: 3:17

Because

Justin Wenck: 3:18

I really think, you know, working with the mind, that's where the transformation is. And the, to me, there's just so many phenomenal teachers doing great yoga teaching, that I'm just like, that's not that's not my wheelhouse, but teaching, you know, traditional techniques and modern methods to help you you know, really dial in and unlock the power of your mind, instead of being a slave to those thoughts that just keep hammering away. And it's like a pattern. And maybe you don't even know the pattern yet. But as you listen to the show, you're gonna start to notice and become aware and realize, like, man, there's some stuff that's not me, and I want to find out who I am and do this stuff and have the thoughts and have the feelings that I want to have not the ones that I've just been having for the rest of my life. And so that's where I want to, like, you know, bring the compassion and forgiveness, you know, practices and you know, how to relax and things like that. And so, I got to teach my first class, just the other just yesterday, as I'm recording this. And it was just so, so awesome to be able to share this. And, you know, the people loved the state of relaxation and calm and how just amazing they felt. And they're just like, I, I got I got to come to your class all the time, which I was totally not expecting because I was like, this is the first time one woman was like, I've never taken a yoga tation before and I'm like, I've never taught a yoga occasion. And I was like I taught tenza Yoga. I've taught tons of meditation is the first time combining them. And she she felt better cuz she was like, fuck what So I went really well. So I'm looking forward to doing that again. And, you know, I feel like this is what came up as an opportunity after going to this retreat, and just sometimes it's like you take the time for yourself, and the world starts, either bringing them or your mind is able to start noticing that there's all these different things that are possible. So let's start getting into, you know, retreat. So I want to tell you the five benefits of retreat, and I'll tell you a little bit about how I constructed it, and then how you can do your own retreat or look for a retreat. Because what I did, I wouldn't recommend for most for most people. But it's so there's so many people that offer great retreats, and I'm gonna give you some tips on how to find that, or if you can't get away, you're just like, hey, Justin, like, I got so much work, I got so many home responsibilities. Like I just, I just can't take the time. And I understand that. But I'd also like to offer, it's not about taking the time, because one way or another, the time is taking away and at some point, if you go into the future, the time of retreat will be forced upon you often due to horrible, horrible health outcomes. And I don't know, there's lots of people that I talked to you that have taken time away from their jobs and things like that. And just about, I would say 80%, they took the time away from work, because they had to go to the emergency room, or there was some hospital stay, or something involved. A very few people, because just I just knew it was time, and I took the took the time away. So the question really isn't like, Do I have the time? It's? Can Can you afford to wait till you have to take the time? Or can you make yourself a priority, which ultimately ends up making all those you care about a priority, because when you're a better person, you have more to give to those that you love, and that you work with and that you care about. Because you're more loving, more understanding, and you're able to know your gifts at a much deeper level and give them to other people. So really is about do you have the time it really is? How can you make this happen as soon as possible so that you actually see how much time you have to do the things that truly matter. Because often we're just doing what we're doing out of habit and not doing what truly matters to us. And let me now get started on the five benefits. So they are relaxation, solitude, clarity, gratitude, and perspective. And I'm going to briefly go in and give some examples of how I experienced these. So first off relaxation. Just getting away from the everyday stresses, you're you're not at work, you're not at home, because who's had that situation where, you know, it's the it's the weekend. And then there is a being, you know, home issues, like maybe something broke, you know, the water heater broke, and tonight, you got to get a plumber, and almost the weekend was more stressful than your week at work. And it's like, oh my gosh, I can't wait, I can't wait to get back to work so that I can get away from the madness at home one way or the other. So you're away from all of that there is effectively no nothing that you need to take care of in a way that you are used to. You didn't create the situation where you are at the retreat, you don't have to maintain the situation. You just have to show up and be alone for the ride. And that can be deeply very relaxing, then often retreats are in a area filled with nature so you can be a beach side retreat, mountain center retreat, possibly on the desert and just being in nature with the sounds of birds and the chirping of wildlife. Or even just hearing as the wind blows the rustling of leaves and seeing the colors of the Sun because you're likely going to be getting out you know walking around and experiencing the outdoors way more than you're used to where maybe you're lucky if when you wake up you look out the window see the sun and then maybe the last time is you know, you remember to look outside before it goes down and that might be all the contacts through a window that you have of the changing colors of the of the day and stars are there even stars Yes, there are stars out there especially in a clear night and especially if you get farther away from city life and all that deeply relaxing on multiple levels. It just reminds us, you know, of evolutionarily where we used to be, which was more nature with less of, you know, being enclosed in the house and all these things. The second part is solitude. So I definitely recommend for your first retreat, you do want to go with a group of people, yet, there's still going to be an element of solitude, usually as part of this, where maybe you're doing meditative practices, or you're doing some sort of physical practice, like a yoga or Qigong, or there might be periods, where they ask you to engage in silence. And so it really is very powerful to be doing things where it really it's just you with yourself, where there's no having to worry about what you're saying to people or listening to other people. And it's just you with your thoughts and your feelings. And it really allows that awareness to come that you are neither your, your thoughts or your feelings or your body aches and pains necessarily, because these things, these things will come up because it's a habit. And you'll recognize like, I'm sitting at a beautiful beach side, sitting on a comfortable cushion, practicing silence, there really is objective Lee, nothing to worry about. And you'll notice that, you know, hey, my shoulder hurts, and I'm thinking this guy sitting in front of me is an asshole. And I'm feeling very angry all of a sudden. And you can kind of get that detachment that, huh. Maybe some of the things that I think are problems aren't really problems, maybe it just, I keep bringing this up. And because I keep bringing it up, I keep having it in my life, dingdong Well, now you have a chance to maybe do something about it. So that solitude just gives you that that distance. And also, it leads to the third benefit of going on retreat, which can be profound clarity, with things that you might want to do or avoid in your life. And I know for for me, I did quite a few periods of about four hours of complete complete silence, whereas you know, nothing but me and staring and trying to listen for that which cannot be heard. To hear it. That break where you're waiting for hearing something that is total silence. And in that break in that space, you can start to have the possibility where you might if you kind of asked a question before, like, Where should I live? or How should I be helping people, you might get like, a little, a little voice. Or you might get a little bit of a visual, or a feeling of of an answer that will be different than that thinking, chattering mind that is that inner monologue that you're used to hearing non stop going? Well, I don't know, should I should I be with this person? Or should I not be with this person, I mean, I've been with this person for a long time. But you know, I don't know, maybe it's time to do something. Like it won't sound like that. It'll be something real subtle. Like I'll get I'll give a good a good good example. This, this this is this is it's a bit of a dumb one. But still, sometimes these little things can end up being big things. Like one thing that came to me in my silence was get rid of three of the cushions of your giant sectional couch. It was it was less wordy than that I think it was like a visual like I was more I saw the new arrangement and just like yes, that is what I got to do. But I also had you know, some more profound things of like, oh, gotta help people relax, energize and live more from the heart like that. Really. It had been something you know, kind of new but it became super clear. It was like live help people live from the heart. Just that very soft, subtle message and then this because when you kind of like get in the zone of like you're once you've quieted yourself you'll start you know you It's okay you don't have to believe it this is all you know experiment of one t this is I don't believe me Do you not believe me but try it out. See if it is if you can get really find a way to get really calm which is what a retreat is all about at peace and started seeing if things start lining up because I I shit you not. I had in this meditation kindness like oh help people Live from the heart, which, to me is it's helping people do what they truly want to do with their lives. And it which might not 100% make intellectual sense. But, you know, because there's, there's something like, well, if you're making a certain amount of money, why would you ever risk that to go like, be a musician be an artist, yet we know tons of examples of people that have done that and been wildly successful, or if not wildly successful, is wildly fulfilled, and super happy and loving their lives. So it was not even like five minutes after that came to me that I open up a book, and there was a quote in it, and it said,

Unknown: 15:40

there.

Justin Wenck: 15:42

I'm paraphrasing, because I'm just not one of those people that memorizes quotes word for word. It said, basically, the extent was, like, one of the most important things you need to do is learn to live from your heart. And I've just like, I what, so it was like, Okay, got the message. So clarity. This brings us to our fourth. So we've gone through relaxation, solitude, clarity. The fourth thing is gratitude. So a lot of what's going to happen on retreat is going to annoy the shit out of you, there's gonna be things because you're out of your element, you're out of your your zone of comfort, but this is, you know, what helps get these growth, things of gratitude for what you do have in your life that you like, such as, so I was staying in like a little little Airbnb, and the insulation was not the greatest. So if the heater wasn't running, it got cold fast. And so I would often have the bathroom door closed. And so if I would go into the bathroom, it was freezing, and I'm like, Oh, I am now really grateful for the installation in my house, and that it's more or less at a constant temperature, and it doesn't fluctuate too, too crazy. And then there's also just the gratitude for some of the simpler things like, it is like really cool that the there's gonna be so much beauty out in nature, or that I, you know, was able to make this happen, that I have the circumstances to get together a trip like this. So there's lots of opportunities to be grateful for, you know, the things that you left from your regular life, and then maybe the things that you're grateful, that you know, are different, you know, you're grateful for the opportunity for that clarity, for that relaxation for that time away, where you don't have to be impressing anybody else, or worrying about what other people say, and having gratitude for that. And from gratitude, it's a really powerful place to be in, because it just creates more and more of all that good stuff. And then the fifth benefit is perspective. It, you know, so, if your groove has turned into a rut, from that rut, you are not you. I mean, I'm never gonna say 100%. But, honestly, good luck. Getting out of that, that rut, from being in that rut, you gotta you got to change to a different perspective, you got to get out of that, because basically, the, you're not going to solve the problem in the same place where it was created, I believe there's a quote, attributed usually to Einstein about that. So it's like the same thinking and actions that have gotten you into this route will not get you out of it. And so going and doing something completely out of your norm, being in an environment that you you don't control anymore. Allows. Ne, boy, I'm using weird, hoarse Ne Ne, it forces you to have a different perspective, because you are out of your comfort zone. And so you can look at your life differently and kind of see what works, what doesn't work and does do some things to to change. Or the very least your way of changing it. Your way of looking at it has changed, which is awesome. Like you maybe it's one of those, like, you know, your partner does, like really annoying things in the bathroom, or something like that. And, you know, when you're away, you recognize that, oh, yeah, but they also like, you know, tenderly and lovingly, you know, give you a sweet hug or something. You know, or maybe perhaps if you're single, you're like, Ah, man, I always feel so alone. And then, you know, if you're at a retreat that does have other people, and you're forced to sort of like interact or be surrounded by the presence of others more frequently, there can be appreciation of Yeah, like there's a lot of benefits that I can really be free to do, do what I want and be with myself and make my own decisions. And I there's some stuff I like about people but Then you can have an appreciation of your aloneness, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're lonely just because you're alone. So those are the five benefits relaxation, solitude, clarity, gratitude perspective. So I really recommend retreating yourself, especially, you know, coming out of 2020. with, you know, a lot of quarantine and stuff like that. Many of you, many of us, myself, are probably people, you know, get really stuck, you know, physically and then emotionally, and so to sometimes the best way, because our mind often leads our body, but our body can also lead our mind. So sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is to have a physical change, which helps change that mind. And then once we get our mind and body sort of go and kick in, then we can come back home and make the changes to be more present more aware, with the people that, you know, we want to be and live the life that we want to be living. So the way I did this retreat, since I This isn't my first first retreat. My first retreat, I believe, was around, like 2000 2007 2009. Went to the Shambhala mountain center, outside of Denver, Colorado, up in the Rocky Mountains, beautiful center. There, there's a stupa out there, which is basically it's sort of a monument with a lot of intention. These are sort of Buddhists temple like structures, lots of parts of the world, there's not a lot of them and northern hemisphere. North northern him, Well, North America, sorry, North America. And just, you know, so to get to see that and then to sit in meditation.

Unknown: 22:02

And

Justin Wenck: 22:03

I think the first one I went to was called a sangha retreats as long as like a, a group in a sort of a tradition, you know, for those of you not super into Buddhist or these other traditions. So, some of the biggest teachers, one of the teachers was Pema children, who is well known author and a lot of circles, like the wisdom of no escape. And so she is a, I think, one of like, the first women to become like a monastic and what this was one Buddhist order, and just, you know, she can just really cut to the chase have a lot of challenges and things like that. And so, you know, go go hear a great speaker. And, but then it was like, I was also sharing a tent with a random dude, that snored a lot. So there hasn't been a lot of stuff that comes up like the food was weird. And I used to be a really picky eater. And so there's all these challenges, but these challenges are what lead to the growth and give you the five the five benefits, right? So I was so that was my first retreat. And I think I came back and did two other retreats at this one center. I've done a couple yoga retreats. And if you're a fan of the podcast, you probably remember Episode Seven, where you believe it was the start of 2020 or the end of 2019. I went to the Nanda meditation retreat center. This was founded it founded by things created on the the disciple of Yogananda, who's the author of Autobiography of a Yogi, which just phenomenal, phenomenal book, that's something I got to finish reading while I was on retreat. And it was really eye opening and really helped me open up to a whole bunch of other possibilities. So that's another thing to do on a retreat is maybe get to some books that you didn't plan on. So I've had the opportunity to go to lots of retreat centers and do retreats and things like that. So not my first rodeo. So when I was looking to do a retreat, because it was starting to feel necessary, because I was getting honorary, oz gibby and a pain and a lot of people's ass, including my own and I'm like, I gotta get out of here. And I need some time alone because it was just it was just became necessary. So I looked and I, you know, I was like, well, may I'll go back to the place I went. And they were offering basically, you could get a cabin, but you would have to, you know, cook your own food, bring your own food, they weren't running programs, do the COVID precautions and things like that. And so I was like, Well, if I got to do all this stuff myself Anyway, I'm just going to go find a little Airbnb semi nearby. So I found one about 45 minutes away. It was on a beautiful little ranch and Perfect space. So I can put my yoga mat down my meditation cushion and read and go find some places to walk, which was just phenomenal. And I beforehand I created a little bit. So I didn't create a schedule, but I created a plan where I had certain activities that like I would want to do every day, you know, like, meditate at least twice a day, do some sub, do some self hypnosis three times a day, make sure I journal do some spiritual reading. And then also keep up with my physical regimen of daily walks, and other other workouts and things like that. And I also was allowed myself to watch, like spiritual videos, you know, so it was like, there was I had a list of things that were allowed, and then a list of things to avoid. And then also diet aspect to so sort of a very, you know, very simple, very simple diet as well, was on my menu that I had to, I had to prepare, and, you know, often in silence, and so it was really, really, really well for me, since I've had the discipline of being at retreats before. So I won't I don't recommend this style for if you've never done it before. Because there does start to be some times when you're alone, and you're just like, Oh my gosh, like what's going on with my thoughts? Like, you know, is this Okay, is it's not okay. You know, whereas, you know, if you're in a group setting where there's professionals sort of instructing and letting you understand, like, Oh, yeah, you might be having thoughts like this, and that's okay, just, here's how you handle it, you know, that's just, that's just the thought, it's not, it's not real, right? Don't get wrapped up into anything necessarily. Or as if your mind isn't as well trained, you know. So basically, the brain, the mind is a scary place, don't go in there alone, necessarily. So I really recommend finding, retreat, you know, that's more well organized. And even if you can't, like get out of the house, there's so many amazing online programs. So you could kind of do like a retreat, sort of from your own house. So like, recently, I did a program with Sadhguru is the patch of Buddha Kriya, which is the cleansing of the five elements. And that was very much retreat, like where there was, there was a morning practice, and then to evening practices over the course of three days. So you can start kind of like looking for programs like that, you know, or start looking for, you know, just start googling, like retreat centers or meditation centers, and then just kind of see what feels right for you. Or, you know, if you do already kind of go to a place like to do yoga, or you do Qigong, or meditation or something, or you know, or you know, someone weird like me, you can just hit them up and go like, Hey, I was curious about this, like, do you know of any places, and you will be surprised at what you find out when you just start poking around at people. Because if you get a vibe that somebody you know, into going and doing types of retreats like this, they're gonna love to talk about it. Like I'm loving sharing this with you. My home box office buddies, HBO, love it, love it, love it? Well, now I do. I've been enjoying a lot of the offerings on HBO, lately, I believe. So I'm really, really fun. I don't get anything from plugging, plugging HBO. Anyway, ah, so what you want, is just find something that doesn't seem too annoying that's within your budget that's within your amount of time. And just just get started it Don't try to find the perfect one, just do something doesn't matter. It you know, it'll be the first step on your path, and you probably likely do this again. So don't worry about finding the perfect thing. Or just make a little time even if you can set aside 30 minutes. You know, start with just one day, where for 30 minutes, you just no phone, no computer, no reading, no nothing. Just be for 30 minutes with yourself and nothing else. You know, you know, there's no cleaning, there's no vacuuming. There's no gardening, you got to literally not do anything, not consume anything. Just be for 30 minutes, you can be outside. If you want, you know, just go sit in a chair outside, that's fine. Or you can lay in your bed, you know, or you can sit in your office, but don't do anything. Be alone. Just try that. That is a great start of a retreat if you've never done one. So thanks so much. I believe that's going to conclude the show. Or again go to Justin Wenck calm Find me on social media. Send me a note. Let me know what you think of the podcast. If you're loving it, please subscribe. Tell your friends. If you're not loving it, send a note to me directly so we can make this better because I really, I'm passionate about helping you live less stressed, more energetically and from the heart. So that's it for me. Good day.