Ep 55: Antidotes to Emotional Ailments

Have you ever been stuck in fear, sadness, anxiety, or anger? Much like the McRib sandwich these emotions should only be enjoyed for brief amounts of time but become unhealthy when they are your entire emotional diet.

 What's the antidote for the Emotional Ailments?

The answer is to place your attention on the emotion you WANT to have instead. 

 Such as gratitude instead of sadness, forgiveness instead of anger, excitement or trust instead of anxiety or fear.

 Will this remove the source of your emotional ailment? No! But it will calm your nervous system and show your mind the positive direction you wish to take so that you can make any needed changes and live a life more in the Antidote than in the Ailment.

Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com. Remember to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode! Then connect with me at  JustinWenck.com, Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn!

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Transcript

Justin Wenck: 0:01

Welcome to the engineering emotions energy podcast. I'm your host, Justin Wenck.

Unknown: 0:07

Today,

Justin Wenck: 0:07

we got a very important topic, one that's going to be very simple yet can be very powerful when used at the right time. Here, we want to help you have a less stressful, more energetic life, that you are living from your heart. So you can feel like life is going the way you want. Because you're living your passion, you're in alignment with your purpose. And it can be really hard to have that feeling. If you're stuck in what many people like to call a negative emotion. I almost don't like to call it that. But most people call it that. So I'm going to call it that, you know, what, what would be a negative emotion we're talking, you know, being afraid, sad, anxious anger. So these ones where it's like, this is not fun. This is not, you would not pay $20 to go into a place on a Saturday night to experience this feeling, right? You do that? Because you want to experience fun and excitement and adventure? Why do I not like to call these negative motives because they do serve a purpose, they are there for a reason to point out when there's maybe something missing in our life, or there's something there that shouldn't be there. If there is a starving Tiger right in front of you. And you are the only meal source in your skin suit of a human body, you should be very afraid at that point. That is that is a smart use of that emotion. It's not a smart use of that same emotion, when it's just how is my talk in front of, you know, a group of people, whether that's for work, or maybe that's at a, like a wedding or something to bring that level of fear of the Tiger to something like that is going to be very, very destructive. So how do we get out of it? Right? Because sometimes we just you know, the thoughts get going and we can ruminate and we just are in this emotion and stuck because really these emotions, they're very valuable when they're experienced and processed more or less, you know, in the now and we take action but they are not healthy. If it becomes a steady diet. I like to think of this as the, you know, the MC rib factor. So if you don't know the McRib, congratulations, you probably live in a pretty healthy lifestyle. But if you grew up kind of like me, where you didn't even know what a what was that fruit? What you didn't even know what a plum was, until you're the age of 30. And a co worker had to explain it to you. And you grew up with the options that your mom would bring are bagel bites, which is a horrible you know, it's like the worst. It's like the worst bagel and the worst pizza had a had a baby and then you microwave it. So it's that versus going to McDonald's so I know the McRib intimately well. And basically what it is is mostly McDonald's menu is is chicken or beef related except for their their breakfast products. But on a rare occasion, who knows how long it could be every couple years could be a lot more frequently, they will release the McRib, which is a pork based sandwich that is pressed into a rib like looking thing so that it gives the appearance that you are eating ribs. But it is really just a mash shaped pork concoction in the shape of ribs with a sugary sauce in a in a bun. And if you enjoy McDonald's, then you usually love the McRib. And they only have it for a limited time partially because if something is scarce, we want it that much more. And I like to think that it's because for the for that like the breakfast, you know, they have the bacon and the sausage that what happens is like on the cutting room floor when they're making these they're just collecting up in some sort of bucket, you know, all the leftover stuff. And whenever they get enough of these these barrels of leftover pork product, that's when they decided to you know, clear it all out with with the McRib. And if you have one or two, during this time, it's like, oh, this is this is fantastic, really good. But if you start hitting a little bit heavy, it's gonna start impacting your health, you're going to like my guts not feeling good and like this is just not right. And these negative emotions are kind of like that they should just be a negative a limited amount of time you're like, via Alright, this is this is something I should do something about. Alright, but you know, this is not an everyday type of meal. So how do we get out of it? So I like to think of these negative emotions as we look at them as it's an emotional ailment when it becomes perpetual because what i'm not i'm not saying is I'm Not saying don't is you don't want to avoid feeling these feelings. Because again, there could be a valid reason why you are sad, like relationships ending or someone has passed, or, you know, something that meant something to you as gone away, there's valid reasons to be sad. And then there's, you know, valid things to be to be anxious about as well, all these feelings totally valid. So it's just, you know, if it becomes perpetual, habitual, that's when we want to bring in an antidote. So what is an antidote? an antidote is simply bringing in something to get us out of the emotional element for a particular time to allow us to relax the nervous system, and then paint a picture or let us feel what we would like to feel. So then our body and our mind are in a state where we can actually kind of see the situation more clearly. And if something does need to be done, we're in a much better state to actually do what needs to get done. So what are what are some antidotes to? Some some emotional elements, right? So like, let's, let's take sadness, for instance, there's a loss. So what if? So what I would suggest is a gratitude practice, where you're focusing on what what do you have in life, because let's face it, sometimes we get people go through horrible, horrible losses, yet, if you're alive and kicking, you still at least have that so you can be grateful that you're that you're breathing, that you can walk, you can be grateful that the sun is shining, or you can be grateful that you have water to drink. So there's all these things that and when you're grateful these for these things, that you recognize that the life that you've had, do have and will have would not be possible, it would be dramatically different without these things. And you'd let that just sink into your heart and feel that it gives a great feeling for what you have. And the thing is that if we go to the reticular Activation System, which is where whatever we focus on our mind shows us more of this is the you know, you buy a brand new Mazda, you start seeing losses all over the place, whereas before you'd bought the Mazda, it's like Wait, does everyone drives a Tesla, or a Toyota, right? Like, I don't know who drives a Mazda, yet, you go and buy the Mazda. Now you see them everywhere. So if you put in your mind, that there's a lot of stuff you have, then it shows the mind and the mind is going to want to pick up on more things that it has. And so it's going to have the ability to allow that sadness to possibly go away, and be filled in with perhaps what you're missing. So you know, like, if it's sadness over the loss of a friendship, but you're grateful for a lot of things and you're grateful for the friendships you have, you're likely to have more valuable friendships coming your way very soon. So let's go to another one. Anger. So anger is often there's either resentments towards others, or you have an unmet need, like you need someone from someone, and they're not giving it to you. And so sometimes this can lead to some sadness. Yeah, to me, some good antidotes for anger, which I've, I've had some experience with this this lately, because I've definitely been having some unmet needs where, like, I want, I want some validation here, I want to know that this is a good idea, that's not a good idea. You know, where I want it this way, and then somebody else doesn't want it that way. And so forgiveness, letting go of that expectation from the other person, because maybe they just don't have the capability to give you what you need. Because not everybody has the same capabilities, right? Like, you know, if if somebody was only like four foot tall, and you were expecting them to do a slam dunk in an NBA game, it's just not gonna happen. Like in that example, you physically know that it's not possible. But emotionally, mentally, intellectually, people have these limitations, or these blocks are there, these blind spots that prevent them from offering what maybe they would love to give you yet because of their past because of their current abilities, whatever it is, they just can't, they just can't give it to you. And it's, you know, if you want to keep being angry at them, it's not going to hurt them. Remember, anger is basically you're taking the poison, expecting it to somehow hurt the other person. So forgiveness practice is really, really good. The other thing that I would also recommend for anger, is self compassion. And because it might be one of those that you've been putting something on other people when really it's something that you should be taking care of yourself. I know I've definitely been been experiencing This myself where I've wanted, you know, other people in my life to, you know, let me know that, you know, like stuff I do with this podcast other plans, you know, wanting to help people with meditative techniques and ways to look at the world so they can live their life with passion. You know, not everyone's, not everyone supports that or knows that that's a good idea. And I've been putting that importance on other people, which really is not fair, it's not up to them, I'm the one that needs to decide, it's important and do it because I decide it's important. And that's what needs to be done. And so through practicing self compassion, and like, you know, give myself a break, forgiving myself, and then having that tender loving care for myself that like, boy, you kind of you kind of saw that a little bit unclearly, and you didn't really stand up for yourself or take care of yourself, and then you put it all on this other person, or other people, and then you get angry, like, that's not cool. But realizing that I'm a human, they're human, we all make mistakes, we're here to learn, we're here to grow, and just really letting go, that, you know, this sort of the self anger that like, you know, because sometimes that's the cause of our external anger is just realizing that we've been disappointing ourselves and not taking care of ourselves and doing what, you know, if we were to take a step up going, you know, this was if it was somebody else, you got to put that person needs to get their shit together. And when that person is us, it's it's painful, it hurts because we like to think, you know, I like to think that I know what I'm doing. And really, if we're growing, if we're, if we're making things happen in the world, you're not going to know every moment, right, which brings me to the next emotional element I would like to discuss. And that's fear or anxiety, where it's, basically it's you, none of us knows what the future is going to bring. But a worry is a sort of, you're having faith in a bad outcome, right, you're preoccupying that something awful is going to happen. And that causes you know, the fear, the anxiety, the blood pressure to go the heart rate to go up and as unsettled feeling. And for that, a couple things. So if there is something that's coming up, that is important to you. I always like to ask, How do you feel when you're excited about something? Because often, the physiological response of excitement is really, really similar to the physiological experience of anxiety, right, elevated heart rate, maybe a little sensation and the abdominal muscles, right, the middle, tightness in the throat and challenge sleeping. Yet, if it's excitement, that fuels if it's anxiety, it can make a stop on her tracks. You know, this, you know, again, I'm very aware that there is, you know, clinical anxiety that I would definitely recommend, you know, ghosts go see a professional for that. So we're just talking about sort of, like low level, you know, I don't need a medication for it. But you know, just that relabeling like, wait, I, I'm excited, I'm actually excited to do this, it becomes fuel. Now, if we're talking about fear of or worry. What about practicing trust into in a positive outcome? So instead of having those mental pictures of how it could go wrong, a practice of looking at the future and programming yourself with and visualizing feeling what it'd be like if everything went right, because you don't know either way. But one thing you have control about is what are you going to what thoughts are you going to choose what mental images are you going to choose? What are you going to put your focus, so when those like negative thoughts and images, like oh my gosh, it's gonna go wrong, they're all gonna laugh at me, the you know, I'm gonna lose a bunch of money, just go Stop it. And then picture there's so many people that could benefit from this, there's a lot of people that love what I'm about to do, and this could make me so much money. And this could really really help the world be a bunch better place. And you know, hear the compliments, see the gray benefits and then feel that light feeling of accomplishment. And I've been talking about a lot of the a lot of the things that I've mentioned, I've done previous podcasts on where I've talked about practices you can do I'm going to be having a lot more stuff where you know, you can learn these practices and do them because I had some really cool stuff I just booked my first in person workshop, because apparently people are starting to be able to go like outside of places and do things in person which is going to be really cool. So I'm going to do a two hour workshop. So you know, definitely subscribe follow me because all my social media once we get the exact time and stuff, because I think this workshop is gonna is gonna you know, sell out it's gonna be so good cuz I just recorded an audio so that people can learn instant relaxation because I want to, I want people to be able to, you know, have a better life and as little amount of time possible because I know that that's one of the biggest stressors is not having enough time. So if I'm like, in just three hours a day, you can do these practices and you're like no Justin, fuck off I, I don't have to, I don't have time to, you know, shower, shave after them all at the exact same time, honestly. And I figured out how to do two at a time, but not the third, the third, I'm still figuring out but I'll get there. So I understand I feel your pain. And so that's why I want to make things quick and effective. And so looking forward to, you know, giving you guys more tools, more access to great information, because I want you to be able to live a life that has more of these antidotes and less of these ailments. So that's the show, really appreciate you listening, follow me on Facebook, I think I'm doing I've changed it. I'm at Justin Wenck, PhD. So that's the same there as on Instagram, you can also find me on LinkedIn, I do encourage you to go to Justin wenck.com, sign up for the mailing list I got up now. It's really really cool. It's my perfect life meditation audio, I've got that up free, I probably got to take it down. Because that's just like it's too good as. And if you get it, and you're able to get I think it's too much. It's too much good content. And you're like Justin, you're being full of shit like But no, it really it really is like too much stuff. And it really needs to be sort of like parsed out, like, you know, it's kind of like if I, it'd be like, if I gave you a free cow, like you wouldn't know what to do with it. I mean, some of you would, so as some of you I'm saying if you go there, try it out, if you get it great. If not, then you're like Justin, I don't know what to do with this to advance, like, send me a note. And, you know, I'll work with you to break some stuff down, which is what I'm working on. But just you know, hit me up. And I'll do that because, you know, I don't want you to have to eat a whole cow. I want to I want to be able to you know, slice that thing up and give it in to the right portions so that it goes down smooth and easy and you feel neutral FIDE. Is that a word? Is that our I don't know it's word. So that basically you feel nourished in your mind, body and soul. So, you know, I'm I'm not here to feed you the mcribs I'm here to give you like, you know, the filet the filet meat, right? The Flaming yawn, I'm here to give you the ribeye, the good stuff, you know, in the right portion so that you can come back time and time again. And you know, in a short amount of time with working with me, you're going to be amazed at like how much dramatically Your life is improved that that is what I'm all about here. So, again, look me up. Got any questions about the podcast podcast at Justin Wenck calm otherwise till next time.

Unknown: 18:06

Good day.