Why won't they get it? You've provided everything and yet they continue their old ways.
Perhaps it's just not their turn yet?
We often think that if we give a seed good soil, water, and sunlight, it's bound to thrive. If it doesn't, then surely it's an error on your part.
That's not always true. Some plants require more to get going. Plants that live in area prone to forest fire often require fire for their seeds to germinate.
If someone around you isn't growing, perhaps the right fire in their life hasn't happened. And it might not be your job to "set the fire". They could just be a beautiful little seed in this life and allow them the dignity to be that beautiful seed as long as they wish.
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Welcome to the engineering emotions and energy podcast. I'm your host, Justin Wenck. Today is a very important topic, especially if you're someone who likes to listen this podcast because if you listen to this podcast, you probably want to help people, you want to help yourself. And you also want those around you to be doing better living happier, more fulfilled lives. Because I mean, that's why I do this podcast, I'm here to help you, the listener have a less stressful, more energetic, heartfelt life. That's what I'm trying to do. But this episode is about actually not helping people. What? Yeah, cuz there's a lot of people, they don't want your help. They don't want anything from you. Why? Because it's just not their turn yet. Yeah, not everybody's ready to grow in the same ways at the same times that you or me might be ready to. And this is a topic that I have to keep learning more and more, because if you're like me, or even remotely like me, where sometimes just you know, you see things and you get things and you're like, you notice that, hey, something could be a little bit better, something could be fixed. And now someone else doesn't see it and they want to fight you on it can be really, really challenging. Because I know for me, since just being able to connect the dots and things like that is something that has always been really big talent, getting distracted, my cat is in the room, and wants to get out. So that's the fun. Alright, he's gonna claw out the carpet. So I'm going to pause this and we'll be right back, we're going to continue the show. Stay tuned. So the cat is out. So now we should be undisturbed, just you and me. I know it was really rude like podcasting one on one, like, make sure you have a quiet secured room. So usually he was a very sweet, quiet little kitty just hanging out doing his thing. And that of course, I hit the record button. And now suddenly, he's got places to go things to do got to get the hell out of my room. And or he's gonna chew up the carpet. So anyway, when you're able to really connect the dots and see that things could be a little bit smoother, a little bit better, a little bit more effective or happier, more joyful. And you want to share that with with other people, especially those who care about you want to go, Hey, like, let's take a really simple example, something that gets a lot of people's nerves, especially if you're in brand new relationship, or you just moved in together, or even if it's just a new roommate, one of the biggest things that contentions the dishes, right? It's like, hey, dishes is so much easier if you just wash them immediately, you know, because this stuff's not stuck, you don't have to soak it, and then boom, right there or right in the dishwasher. And certain ways to stack it. Just some people, they have their own way, they got to put the knives, you know, pointing, pointing down or the forks pointing down, what whatever, there's all sorts of weird ways that people do different things that might be differently. And you'd I know, you got a good reason for doing what you do. You're a smart, brilliant, awesome person. Just not everybody's ready for your, your amazement, and it's just not their turn. That's not yet maybe. And that's just something that's you know, I've had challenges at work, I've had challenges in relationships. So I've, I've been there and getting frustrated that someone isn't getting it, it's not going to help you and it's 100% not going to help them. And one way I like to explain this is we often think that, you know, by by helping people out by nurturing and things like that, you know, we're, we're treating them like a beautiful, beautiful seed, you know, we're giving them the love and the information and the ideas. It's, you know, we think it's like, I'm giving them some soil, I'm giving them you know, plenty of water, access to sunlight.
Unknown:
And yet,
Justin Wenck:
they just don't grow that they just stay this this seed this, you know, what, why won't why want to germinate? Why want to come out? Turns out, there's some seeds that they they need more than just soil water light. So in areas that are really prone to wildfire, where you know, once every couple few years, there's just going to be a giant, enormous wildfire. So I'm in California, so there's areas where that happens every year. There are certain plants that the seeds because they know that if if they were to grow just at any random time, just get a you know, just drop into the soil and try to grow that likely, they would eventually realize that they don't have enough sun, they're crowded out by too much rubs and other trees and so they are perfectly designed to wait to germinate until there's the heat of a really severe forest fire. They would clear out any competing other foilage and then the seed you know has a little coating that will melt off from that heat and then it can get the benefit Have that of that water of that soil, and that abundant sunlight that's going to be available because of the, you know, crazy conditions that allow the seed to finally germinate. And some people are just like that to where you're giving them all this love, and all this, you know, great ideas and great information. And it's just not taking, they're not changing, because they need the fire, they need the heat. That's what they're missing. And maybe your job isn't to be that forest fire, do you really want to be causing all that destruction? Probably not, I don't want to cause harm, I want to help people, I want to make people's life easier and better. So sometimes, we just got to step back and realize this, this plant, it's not my job to water this plant, it's not my job to be the bringer of the water, bringing the light Bringer, the soil, definitely not the bringer of the fire, you know, so whoever's job that is, whatever that is, that'll come when that person is ready, but maybe it's just not their turn just yet. And that's okay, there's plenty other people that it is their turn, and they are ready and waiting. So the more you can save your energy up by avoiding, you know, helping the seeds that need the fire to germinate. And you can place your attention to those that are just, you know, wonderful little flower seeds that just need a little bit of water, a little bit of sunshine, and they just sprout right up, the more that's going to energize you and fuel you so that you can go and help more people. So it really isn't about not helping people, it's about helping the people that are ready for your type of help. So then you can help more people. And then when those other people are ready, they'll be ready, and there'll be much happier to come to you. And I'd also like to offer this perspective on this, that perhaps what you believe is water, sunshine, great soil, to them, it could be a fire, so perhaps they they are, you know, a delicate little seed rate of bloom, you just you just keep burning them with the intensity, you know, you know, you're adding too much fertilizer, you're adding too much water, you're drowning them to burn them up is too much. And so then, you know, stepping away from that, and letting them find what best helps them nurtures that they can grow and thrive. Right? Because we don't, we don't always know what other people need. Sometimes they don't even know what they need. And maybe you do know what they need. But just maybe they're just not ready for whatever reason, because a lot of times we have these habits and these patterns and these ways of doing and they they are all put in place for a very, very important reason. You know, because they served a purpose, they kept the same they got us to where we are now. But one of my mentors often likes to say what got us to where we are now won't necessarily get us to where where we want to go. And some people aren't ready to take that step. Because there's a risk in going from where you are now to where you want to go, you're gonna have to do different things, say different things, talk to different people be a different way of being. And just not everybody's ready for that, you know, sometimes you got to take your time and figure out, you know, why this, you got to know what's not working. So then you can decide, well, what do you want it to work, and everybody has their own little pace and their own little ways of being. So I know you want to help, I know you want to be of benefit. Just be very discerning at who's ready for your style of help. And when and you're gonna it can be heartbreaking because sometimes somebody you love You're just like ah, if only they would do XYZ better every time you suggested or whatever it just ends up being a big fight big consternation. I don't know where I came up with that word as do people use that word was that like a Yosemite Sam Looney Tunes word consternation or con flam it dagnabbit anyway. And so if you want to help you want to come from a place of love, sometimes you gotta gotta care enough to not care. So that eventually that person can you know, get to where they need to be to grow the way they need to grow. So that's that's today's show, short, sweet, simple rekindling love. Last week, I was in Dallas, Texas area. So you know, the recording, I'm back with my, my awesome mic, so hopefully, it'll have the sound quality, but to get that interview with netta cosmi was fantastic. So if you haven't caught it, go check out that episode. We'll have a lot of fun stuff and find me on social media. So find me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, shoot me an email podcast at Justin wenck.com. If you got any questions, comments, things we could do to make the show better. If you're like the show could not get any better. I love to hear it. But what I love your more five star reviews, subscribe. The five star review helps, you know get the word out get the message because I'm here to help people that are ready to be helped. That's what I'm doing. And I've got an awesome workshop coming up June 13 Sunday. At 11am if you're in the Sacramento area, technically Placerville doing a workshop. signups are available now. I'll put that in the show notes as well. So thank you and good day.