Ep 60: Awakening the Soul of Power with Christian de la Huerta

Would like to see the face of who has been holding you back so you can confront them productively and become the hero of your own life?

 Then you're going love today's show as I talk with Christian de la Huerta about his latest book, "Awakening the Soul of Power". We focus on what it means to have "Soulful Power" in your life and how to keep it. Because it's not something you have to "get". You do have to learn how to stop giving it away and Christian uses amazing visuals to show you how your ego has been tossing your power away.

 With 30 years of experience, Christian is a sought-after spiritual teacher, personal transformation coach and leading voice in the breathwork community. He has traveled the world offering inspiring and transformational retreats combining psychological and spiritual teachings with lasting and life-changing effects. An award-winning, critically acclaimed author, he has spoken at numerous universities and conferences and on the TEDx stage. His new book, Awakening the Soul of Power, was described by multiple Grammy Award–winner Gloria Estefan as “a balm for the soul of anyone searching for truth and answers to life’s difficult questions.” 

To find out more about his work and receive a free guided meditation, power practices and a chapter from the book, visit: https://soulfulpower.com/.

Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com. Remember to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode! Then connect with me at  JustinWenck.com, Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn!

Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!

Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!

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Transcript

Justin Wenck: 0:00

Though I don't welcome me on. No, I'm, I'm in your hands I follow your lead. All right. Welcome to the engineering emotions and energy podcast. I'm your host, Justin Wenck. Here we are helping you live a life of less stress, more energy and living more from the heart. Today I got a really fantastic guest very excited. His name is Christian della Horta, he's got 30 years of experience as a sought after spiritual teacher, personal transformation coach and leading voice in the breathwork community. He's traveled the world offering inspiring and transformational retreats combining psychological and spiritual teachings with lasting and life changing effects. He's an award winning critically acclaimed author, he has spoken at numerous universities and conferences. And on the TEDx stage, his new book, awakening the soul of power, has been described by multiple Grammy Award winning musical artists Gloria stefon, as a balm for the soul of anyone searching for truth and answers to life's difficult questions. So please welcome to the show, Christian.

Christian de la Huerta: 1:12

Hey, Justin, thanks so much for having me appreciate the opportunity. And I'm looking forward to our conversation.

Justin Wenck: 1:18

Yeah, so I've been reading reading the book, it's a I've I've read a lot in the you know, personal development slash spiritual realm. And there's, there's a lot that makes this book unique that I've really, really enjoying, one of them is your use of metaphor, and some of the visuals that you use to sort of like it's your, your model of the ego. And he's kind of kind of you have a great picture of him. I don't Did you? Did you draw that? Or do you get someone to draw that?

Christian de la Huerta: 1:48

No, I got a an artist. In this world of ours, interconnected world, I think the artist was Venezuelan living in Madrid. And then some of the other demonstrate some of the other illustrations, it was a some guy, I think he was Colombian, but living in Chile, something like that.

Justin Wenck: 2:08

Yeah, that's a great thing is we're so interconnected, and all over and, but your model, the ego is like a forearm to Gollum like character without these various things that are metaphors for the aspects of, of our mind. And so just kind of really helps some of these things like you know, double a double edged sword and like a mirror, you know, that sometimes you like to put in other people and not ourselves. And then I really like your, your, the map, you know, map of the soulful hero's journey, and all the pitfalls and areas in which which reminds me that the other thing I really liked about your, your book and your style is that you incorporate so much of pop culture to tie in, you know, you also reference a lot of classical literature as well. But like, I was just trying to, I think this is almost as in like one chapter, or maybe a couple of like, their Star Wars, there's Harry Potter beauty in the East x men, Lord of the Rings, what's your map reminds you the most of us sort of that, you know, middle Middle Earth. Yeah. And then wonder woman and Indiana Jones. And so just as a lot for the logical mind that, you know, has been steeped in our culture to hang our hat on and then because sometimes we think that like, oh, there's there's just not a lot of spirituality in the world. And that's in some way that's not true. And you point these out to a pop culture, like it's there just are we looking for it? So Have you always been a pop culture fan or what the inspiration was at a tool? It's really fascinating. I loved it.

Christian de la Huerta: 3:39

It's more read the examples that I that I use, as you know, they're all around the hero's journey. Yeah. Which is intense, you know, that what I'm writing about is intense like, and nothing short of heroic, like the coast through life, unconsciously, at the effect of other people's, you know, choices and behaviors and expectations and all the conditioning of society. Anybody can do that. to react, anybody can do that, to to, you know, to be stuck in victim mode and level of consciousness. Anybody can do that. To have the courage, the willingness to go within, to face down our inner demons to understand why we do the things we do the patterns of behavior that sometimes are self defeating, self sabotaging, to understand why we get stuck in these ruts of relationships that sometimes have this feeling like I've been in this movie before, just with a different actor. You have to be willing to do that work is hard work. It's nothing less than heroic, incredibly rewarding, because that the reward for doing that is freedom and the ability to choose, you know, what kind of lives and what kind of to have relationships that actually have a chance at working to have a sense of personal empowerment. And, and so so that's why I tried to make it as as late as possible. Learn to use examples of stories that, to me are inspiring. And maybe there won't be to everybody. You know, not everybody will, will appreciate the superhero and the Star Wars and the Lord of the Rings, metaphors, but but to me, they, you know, they speak to me. And they touch my soul. And they, the hero's journey has been around all of human history, ancient literature, and so much of it seeps into our films and our movies that our TV shows that it's just kind of becoming more aware of what that is. And using those metaphors to to mirror to inform, to color our own process of evolution and transformation.

Justin Wenck: 5:45

Yeah, it and it is helpful to sort of lighten up because it is heavy. And it's I know, in my my journey, and I hear a lot of people go like, Oh my gosh, do I do I have to do this, like Can't I just can't be over? Because I feel like for me, it's been at least 15 years, and I'm sometimes like, Can I just be done? Can I be done? Yeah. And it's like, no, it's, it's not and it's just sort of, well, what's what's the alternative? It's just like you said, doing what everyone can do and being stuck in that. And once you start to, like, wake up and realize, like, that's, that's not working, it's so painful, it's so painful. The alternative is that pain of stuck of being sort of caged in a way,

Christian de la Huerta: 6:32

oh, my God, there is to me, there is no other choice. I just can't even imagine. And once we understand the ego, and the self made prison of that part of our mind of our psyches, then we have the possibility of breaking free to remember you I come out of the psychotherapy tradition, my dad was a psychiatrist. My degrees in psychology, I was on a track to get a PhD. And when I first learned about the ego from from, you know, more for not Freud's model personality, but more from Eastern teachings as a sense of self sense of individual personality and all. Its shenanigans and manipulations and reactivity and victim consciousness and projections and other stuff that it does is like I thought, Oh, my God. Well, first, I thought I didn't want to see that. And I was like, one of those like, I didn't want to see myself in that. And yet, at the same time, he's like, wow, this is what I needed to know. This is what I needed to know, to understand why I did the things I did. And yeah, sure, in the beginning, it's tough. And in the beginning, you got to wrestle that ego down. But it does get easier. And it does align. And you know, these these days, 30 years later, my ego hardly ever gets triggered hardly ever. And what it does 99 point 70% of the time, I can nip it in the bud because I can see it coming. So I can take a pause and choose how I want to respond to a situation rather than just that immediate automatic reaction that the ego does because then we get caught in those in those cycles of react and regret. And then we then we go into that cycle of self self punishment for having said or done something that we regretted doing. And it's just a it's a vicious cycle. And it's it's work. Yes, but it is so worthwhile.

Justin Wenck: 8:26

Oh, yeah. Yeah. In your book, you had a pretty good example of where you ended up getting triggered. It was a you were on a trip on a cruise with your mom, I think it was like Rio de Buenos Aires or something like that. Yeah, she she wanted to buy a ring and you guys didn't have enough cash. And you blurted out, like, Well, I have emergency money back at the room. And she's like, Yeah, let's go get it. And I don't think you probably told you this. But you were thinking like, this is emergency This is not.

Christian de la Huerta: 8:58

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, that's a story that I tell to, to illustrate projection.

Justin Wenck: 9:05

Yeah.

Christian de la Huerta: 9:06

You know, because it's like, and that is what like, if we get nothing else from the book, if you if we understand that it is so free, because the ego is so self righteous, and it is so judgmental. And it appoints itself a judge, jury and prosecutor, it knows exactly what the other person did that was wrong, and appoints itself as the one who delivers the punishment as well. And so once we understand that, if we want to use our relationships consciously, to shine a light on those blind spots that we all have, it's like getting a relationship. Okay, right. Get a relationship because we're so brilliant about finding each other's buttons and pressing them. And so a really, really safe bet is like, if you're in relationship and it could be any it doesn't have to be romantic. Yeah, it can make professional friends. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. It's a pretty safe bet. If it's there. It's here. And the more whatever they do gets us gets our goat, the clear it is that it's also here that we're doing that in some other way. And it could be really subtle, it could be completely subtle way that we're doing it. But if it didn't bother us, some of the fact that it bothers us so much, is what lets us know that it's something in us too, that they're mirroring. And that's one of those when you're talking about those those multi, the multiple hands of the Hindu of the Gollum like the Hindu deity, and its weapons. So that's one of the ways in which it uses a mirror, it shoves it in the other person's face, like you did that you did that you'd never do this, you'd never do that, you always do that. And if we're willing to just get off that self righteous standards and, and ask ourselves the questions like how do we how do I do that? Incredibly enlightening.

Justin Wenck: 10:55

Yeah. Because Yeah, I know, for what, along that line, like, one of my pet peeves is, or something that I could get in a fight with somebody about is like, being on time, like, I'm very, very, like, very punctual. And like, if someone's, you know, late, you know, habitually, I'll start seeing and I've gotten a lot better, a lot better. And but it's, you know, when I look, it's like, oh, it's because I would never allow myself to ever be late, you know, why? Because, like, all sorts of drama and trauma growing up related to being on time being late. And so it's like, oh, that's, that's the judgment I have on myself. And it really isn't about the other person. And sort of now that I know that I can catch it a little bit more quickly. And, you know, make a more conscious choice of like, okay, I give this some person some slack. Or maybe there's something came up. And sometimes there's some people are just that they're in their own world that might want to get this this just relationships, not for me, just whatever. Exactly, and But no, without any anger.

Christian de la Huerta: 11:55

Exactly. Because there's so many ways to respond to that example, right? Like, you know, like, Yeah, when somebody else have the shows up late, it's like, great, I have an extra 20 minutes to, you know, to catch up on email to return the phone call to glance through the online news. So why is it that we get so upset by that? And if we're willing to do the work? You know, we'll realize that it isn't about the other person being late. And by the way, it doesn't excuse their lateness? That's all Yeah, that's a whole nother conversation. But why is it that it bugs us so much that somebody gets late? Because I used to have that I used to have that as well. And it doesn't bug me anymore. And and what, you know, is what we would probably find if we're willing to do the work of like peeling the layers. It's like it would go something like this. Okay, well, if I get really honest, and I zoom out a little bit, it's not just what so and so it's late when anybody's late. So it's not about so and so really, if I zoom out a little bit more and widen my lens a little bit wider. It's not just lateness, it's like when somebody cuts me off in traffic, and somebody cuts me off in conversation. It's very similar feeling. Right? So what is that feeling? Because we're showing that mirror on the other face, we're not focused on ourselves, we were focused on what they did or didn't do. So. But if we turn that mirror around, and we focus it over here, it's like, well, what am I really feeling? Right? What so it's because it's underneath the anger, and the self righteousness, there's other stuff. And so what am I feeling I'm feeling disrespected, and feeling like they're valuing their time and their schedule, more than more than mine. I'm feeling like, like, you know, like, not cared for and feeling not loved out, appreciated, etc. It's somewhere in that family that constellation. And if we, if we get really honest, and we look at the patterns in our lives, that's not the first time we ever felt that. So we started feeling that way, way, way before that. So it's, it's our wound. It's it's our, you know, button that they're triggering in the present moment. And if we frame it as like, wow, here's an opportunity for me to heal that button, so that it's healed once and for all and forever. Because as long as we don't, we're just gonna, we're just gonna be in the power of other people, right, giving our power away. All they have to do is figure out that we have a late button to show up late 20 minutes and they got us right they got

Justin Wenck: 14:28

us going. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna have to control like, exactly, you know, and a lot of people they're not doing this stuff consciously, but they have you know, they're playing out their subconscious and there's could be a part of somebody that's like, Oh, I love it when this person gets mad at me because now I know I matter I'm, I'm important to this person, important enough that they're, you know, yelling, getting upset, causing tantrums or whatever, because the one thing I recently heard is, you know, some people think the opposite of love is hate. But it's really it's it's indifference. Like, it's like And I remember growing up in, you know, being in high school and things like that, and, you know, being very nerd very shy, like, so I could really relate to sort of your story of like, not wanting to stand out. And people think that like, the worst thing is, you know, in the movies, it's always the nerd getting picked on or dumped in the trash can. It's like, no, like, you know, nobody even knew knew me, like, you know, go to the high school reunion people like, Who are you? Like, that's, that's, that's worse than somebody because at least you know, you kind of matters for someone to, you know, say something negative or whatever. Yeah.

Christian de la Huerta: 15:32

Yeah. And the thing is, like, if once we're willing to do that work, it's like, we realize that the original belief, like it's a misunderstanding, that there's no truth to it. That's why it's such a worthwhile endeavor to to, to engage in that process. And that's why these people in our lives, we get our goat, if we frame it this way, as opportunities, they become our greatest teachers. Because once we like really do that work, and we realize that, that feeling of not being good enough or not feeling worthy, or not feeling respected, or whatever, whatever it is, in our case, and feeling like we're damaged goods, we're like, we don't count, or that we're not lovable, whatever. Once we dive into it, we realized that it was just a misunderstanding of a young mind that didn't know any better, right misheard something, maybe one of our parents reacted and said something in a moment of overwhelm. Or maybe, you know, our parents got divorced. And we took that personally, like, we made it about us without understanding that it had nothing to do about us, because what was going on in their minds? Who knows what was going on in their relationship? But to those young minds, we take it on, like, well, it's what didn't, didn't daddy love us enough? Right. And it had nothing to do with us. And we've been living out of those misunderstandings our whole life, and it's in the have been impacting all of our relationships. So so that's why this heroic work is so worthwhile, because then we can handle what's at the core of that being late button, right, which was really had nothing to do with being late it was like with, with us feeling not respected or not valued, or whatever that was, in our case, and then once we heal it, then anybody can show up late and and we're fine. Right? And we can, yeah, we can do whatever we want. Right? We can still choose to say, you know what, I'm not going to have lunch with so and so because they always show up late, and I value my time too much. But yeah, no stuff. We don't make those kind of choices without getting activated.

Justin Wenck: 17:36

Yeah, which is a total game changer, because then it's just, it's, it took as long as you just said that statement, as opposed to the, you know, the the anger, you know, laden that, you know, connection ruined, like an entire day of just like, you know, in the past, it's like somebody's late, it's like, I could be having that thought of like, I can't play the first hit like an entire day. And when I was younger, it could have gone a whole week even or more like I don't even embarrassing to think of how I could carry a negative feeling back in the day before I started downsized.

Christian de la Huerta: 18:06

It's a human condition. Just it's like, we've all been there. Like every single one of us has been there. Yeah, we've all done that.

Justin Wenck: 18:16

So one of the themes that I really like in the book is about basically keeping keeping your personal power, not giving it away. And one of the things that you bring up, I think is really important is to get clear about well, what is what is power mean? Because it's, you know, it really reminded me of, of money, because a lot of people go like, Oh, I want to have more money, more money, but it's like, well, what are your beliefs about money? And it's like, well, if you ultimately think that, you know, money is evil, and if you have more money, you're going to be a bad person, doesn't matter, all the financial stuff, or all the affirmations, if you don't cut to the root, right, and you bring up that like, the people you know, and you you frame it as egoic power versus soulful power. And it's like if you believe power is this egoic that's, you know, all about self serving, putting people into fear being abusive, excluding people that like, yeah, of course, you're gonna, you're gonna want to give that away all day long. You're most most you know, if you're listening to the show like this, you're not going to want that and you do a really good job of explaining like, No, no, here's, here's power. Like, I don't have you. Yeah, I don't know. It's just a really cool concept.

Christian de la Huerta: 19:23

But what do you Yeah, yeah, thanks. You know, it's, it's I think most of us have an ambivalent relationship with power. Like, we want it, we longed for it, but deep down inside, we're afraid of it. And we're afraid that we might be, we might get rejected if we really stepped into our power that other people wouldn't, wouldn't like us or be willing to be with us or, or we fear that we might abuse it and cause harm, and no wonder we got to do is turn on the news on any given date and witness at least one abuse of power. And then we have been conditioned to believe that power is a bad thing like You're talking about your power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. What they forgot to tell us about that quote, though, is that Lord Acton was speaking specifically about political power, not interpersonal, not human power. And so add to that, you know, which connects to your, to your podcast and to your mission and the amazing work that you do. And it's like, we've been conditioned to believe that the emotions are weakness, that the emotions are less than, than than reason, you know, that, that and especially as men, right, like little boys don't cry. since we were little kids, we've, we've been conditioned, because only little girls do that. And that's a whole other conversation, like, you know, who decided that feminine is weakness. Because if you want to talk power, let's talk about the power of creation that resides in a female body. But that's a whole other conversation. So so when you put all that into the mix, what happens is that we we end up settling, we end up playing small, we end up like diminishing our power, and acting as if we're something less than. And, and the saddest, most lame part of it all is that we do it for an illusion of security. We do it for for a false sense of acceptance for morsels of pseudo love. And so the whole message of the book is that there is a way that we can step into our power, that doesn't require that we push anybody down, that we step on them, that we put our need to their neck, that that that we use fear or force, or domination or manipulation in order for us to prop ourselves up and feel powerful, that there is a way that we can heal a relationship to power in a way that is a match that is congruent with who we are.

Justin Wenck: 21:58

Yeah, it's very much in line with your ideas of it being more of a horizontal, as opposed to a hierarchical way of being of just, you know, like, well, Hey, I got something good. Let me let me share one, which is really in line with, with how love love works. And it's one of those that, you know, we, we often think that Oh, it's like, you know, it's like food or something like, you know, someone has to give it to me, and then I have the love but it's like, no, it's not like that. When you when you when you give the love out you get to experience that and the other person gets to experience that it's it's amplifying it's it's more so and yeah, this the soulful power is really one of those like it's it's healing and it's inclusive, and really, really amazing way to frame brain power. And I know from my experience, I think a lot of people can often you don't appreciate your, your personal power until you've gone so long after giving it away. And it's just but I know I definitely have a breaking point. But I think some people don't even have a breaking point. I don't know, sometimes I talk to these, you know, people that have been working for decades. And it's like, you know, what are you working for? Like, I just just till I have enough money to work to retire. And then what? Oh, well, once I once I retire, then I'll know when I retire when I have enough money and it's just no power. Just

Christian de la Huerta: 23:21

Yeah, I think there's a price to pay whether whether it has an immediate measurable effect or not, but just you know, what used to be spiritual teaching that everything is energy. Now we know from physics, from quantum physics, that it's true. Everything is energy, that means the body's energy, even though it might feel solid, that means the emotions are energy. And I love how you how you speak about emotion, which to me is energy in motion. And you know, just what whenever when, just because we suppress emotions, because of all the reasons that we're talking about. We're afraid of confrontation, we hate conflict. We've made them weakness, and all those reasons. So just because we stuff our feelings because we stuff our power. We say yes, when incited, it's really not okay with us inside is like one big No, but we say yes for to to appease the other person or for that illusion of peace. If that stuff doesn't go away, it stays in the body. And what happens after after years and decades of suppressing our emotions, we began to walk around with layers upon layers upon layers of repressed emotional crap. And here we are trying to have a relationship in the present moment. And all of it is getting filtered. All of it is getting filtered like through that example of being late through our unhealed past traumas, and our repressed emotions, a lifetime of repressed emotions. And that energy has to come out one way or another. So what happens is we suppress, we suppress, we suppress and then the next unfortunate one comes by and that just rubs us the wrong way. I'm bam, boom. explosion, like volcanic explosion, which then causes harm, and to our relationships and sometimes irreparably. Or that energy is going to start seeping out in physical symptoms, and it's going to start showing up and heart attacks, cancer, stomach ulcers, so

Justin Wenck: 25:19

yeah, and there's five starting to be more and more research like showing showing the link between these repressed emotions and physical physical diseases. It's that so often just like, Oh, well, that's just, that's just genetics and or that's just, oh, environmental. It's like, Well, no, the way your emotions and your way of being, you know, has a big way of playing like I won one really great book on this is like when the body says no, I think the author's Dr. Martinez, you know, goes through. And there's like one example of ALS. And, you know, people that like work in clinics where they diagnose, it's like the tech, the technicians, they just, they just know about the person's demeanor like, Oh, yeah, that person has ALS. They were the nicest person I've ever met. Like, it's unfortunate, they have ALS, like, their their sense of being certain ways of being that can be associated with certain, you know, diseases that in the past, it's just like, well, just just bad, bad luck. And it's like, no, like these things, they will, they will kill you, they will harm you and things like that. And I, in my, in my own experience, because I, I went on leave from from work a few a few months ago. And before I started talking to other people that have gone on leave, and just about every single one of them, it was because they went to the hospital first. And then they're like, I think I want to go and leave and I'm like, I don't want to go to the hospital. I'm going to go on leave now for my depression and my body aches and pains. But when it gets to that point, yeah, well, good for you. Good. Yeah.

Christian de la Huerta: 26:42

Yeah. So and you know, and that's heroic, right? That's to be willing to be willing to look inside and, and ask the questions. What What am I feeling? Right? Like, that's what I mean, by her, you know, by heroism, like, like, what does it mean to live her right life in the 21st century, we don't have a horse hitched outside, most of us don't, and, and the armors and the demons to slay except the ones that our own head. And so to be willing to, to take a pause, like you did and to look inside and to ask the hard questions and to face ourselves. Instead of running away and numbing out like, like, we have done most of our lives and like most of humanity's doing, and brilliant ways that we numb out whether it's drugs, or alcohol, or sex or gaming or or workaholism work. Yeah, there's, etc.

Justin Wenck: 27:33

There's more and more every single day, it seems like to numb out it's really, yeah, it's almost a full time practice to avoid numbing ways. And as soon as you kind of let go, these things start to feel like it's like, oh, my gosh, I didn't know this is what the world was, it's Yeah, is eye opening. And yeah, it was, it was a tough, tough thing, because it kind of related to what you're talking about masculinity a little bit. You know, it's like, well, that's not the the masculine, manly thing to do and is that I don't think that mindset anymore Just affects men like that way of being is kind of placed on a lot of women, especially in like, a corporate environment, or, you know, more, some more and more women are just like, Oh, I gotta, you know, I gotta toss my balls there, or something like that, like. So it's not just, it's not a man woman thing anymore. It's just, it's kind of like a

Christian de la Huerta: 28:25

toxic confusion of what it means to have masculine qualities that, you know, women have as well. And to be in power, right? That's what does that mean? Because that what you're just pointing to there is the patterns that we see of women, assuming masculine, you know, quote, in quotes, because I think it's a limited, and in some cases, twisted definition of what it means to be to be a man. But you know, the women that we often see in the workplace who assume these masculine end quote, qualities, because that's what power is associated with. And, you know, it's like, the book is for everybody. Yeah, but But as you know, it has a particular message for women, stemming from my belief that the empowerment of women is the single most important thing that needs to happen in the world. It's not to idealize women is not to put women up in a pedestal. Women, of course, are also capable of abusing power. It's because the world has been running so off balance, so off kilter for for far too long. And when women are in 50% of power in this world, we're gonna have a very different relationship to war, and poverty and hunger, and social justice and wealth distribution and how we treat the environment and all of it. So that's what what inspires that, that messaging. And I also added a book for men's I mean, a chapter for men specifically what it means to be a man, because we've taken on this twisted definition of what it means to be a man and somebody always walk around like these robots on field uncaring just suppressing all of those emotions. And there's a price to pay for that. So, you know, no wonder that the rate of suicide in this country format, you know, it's four times as high among men, and the fact that 70% of the suicides in the US are committed by middle aged white men, who are still the main holders of power in the world. So that that tells us something. And longevity, you know, the fact that women outlive men by five years in the US by seven years globally, it's like, lets us know that the system, the system of power over hierarchical toxic masculinity, whatever you want to call, it doesn't work for men, either. So we've got to figure this out.

Justin Wenck: 30:48

Yeah, I read the stats in your book. And I was I was just startled. I was like, Oh, my God, but I don't know. It, like made sense. Because there's no way it's sort of like, what you're supposed to be getting all these benefits, because you're the privileged, the privileged class, and there's a bit like, Yeah, but I have to, I have to put on this show of, you know, how this privileged class is supposed to be. It's like, it's, you know, it's like, if I pretend that I get all the benefits, so I have to tamp down the emotions more, or if I, you know, in who I am, and maybe I don't fall in line with that, then you know, that it's a, it's a painful thing to to stand out, when you haven't sort of like done the work that you're prescribing. in the, in the book, which is kind of one of my quit, like, you know, looking back, you know, over 30 years, plus going from a really, you know, overly shy to sort of like where you are now, you know, like leading retreats, TEDx, you know, author, I'm sure there's some people that are like, there's no way Christian could ever do something like that, that, you know, probably you went to school, like, I have people like that, that, you know, well, or vice versa. There's people now that go like, I couldn't imagine you're a shy kid that was, you know, hiding in the in the back. And it's like, no, but then there's still like, I still feel relatively shy for like to do and I'm just curious what it's been like that that journey. And do you feel like there's even more expansion on the horizon for you?

Christian de la Huerta: 32:14

I think I think there's always expansion, I think we never stopped growing and evolving. Otherwise, how boring would it be? But yeah, it's hard for me to conceive of that. I was so painfully painfully shy. As a teenager, I was okay. One on one after a little bit. But if you introduce a third human, that's it, you know, clammed up to the degree that I was pretty good student. You know that. I grew up in communist Cuba for the first 10 years of my life. So one of the benefits of that is that we had a TV but there was nothing worth watching. So I grew up react. So reading was very natural. For me, I developed this lifelong relationship with books. And so I was a good student had all A's in high school, except for one B. And that was it

Justin Wenck: 33:08

in what was it in?

Christian de la Huerta: 33:09

Oh, my god, it was it was a it was a it was a self guided, advanced American history class. on American American government, that's what it was. But it was like it because it was self guided. It didn't have the structure. So it was easy for me to slag It was my senior year. But I know I didn't set out to do this intentionally, but I have no doubt looking back on it, that it was subconscious sanitized, because there is no earthly way. There's no way that I could have gotten up in front of a room of hundreds and hundreds of people in auditorium and delivered the valedictorian speech, there's no way that just wouldn't have been able to do it. So that was my way out. And I grieved, it was like, at some level, I knew because when after graduation, like my mom came up, come over and hug me and I just started to cry. And I think that's what was going on. Because I certainly wasn't crying about graduating from high school. I was really grateful to be getting out of high school. But I think that's what I was grieving. And these days, you know, it's like, I suck. He said, I speak all over the world. I've spoken on the TEDx stage, I get paid to speak spoken at so many university campuses. And so, so I so I know that whatever we have allowed to hold us back, which is all you know, going back to the ego, it's all in the realm of the ego. It's all misperceptions. It's all fear based. That I know that it can all be overcome and it all can be healed. My adolescence was one long depression with with suicidal fantasies. These days. No matter what happens, no matter the details, no matter the circumstances of my life, the relationship works out or does it a project succeeds or it fails Like never, ever, ever do, I questioned my sense of self, my self worth my self love that it that is established no matter what happens. And so I know if I if I was able to do that, if that happened in my case, I know that anybody can do it.

Justin Wenck: 35:16

Yeah, it's an inspiring story of transformation. And I know that you've seen it in other people and like you said, if you can do it, anybody can just, you just got to take the steps, keep taking the steps and your book is a fantastic guidebook through that any any last words that you want to talk about before we wrap up today?

Christian de la Huerta: 35:39

You know, it just I guess the message is to do it right to just do it. Yes, it's gonna work the way the book is designed. It's bite size, small chapters, you know, short chapters with practices at the end so designed to apply the teachings to our lives so that it doesn't stay at the level of inflammation we've got way too much inflammation, we're looking at information overload. The intention behind the practices at the end of each chapter is to apply and integrate the teaching so that what happens is transformation, not information. So and the book walks you by the hand both into both understanding what the ego is so that we can break free from it that self made prison and and it's about how do we step into our own power in a way that is a match for who we are so so thank you, Justin, thank you so much for for having me as a guest thank you so much for the work that you do and for your courage of not only living your own journey and diving into your own journey of transformation but sharing about it so openly and so humbly and to me that humility is one of the qualities that I look for in a teacher

Justin Wenck: 36:56

thank you so much Yeah, like it's just one of those you know, like you said you got it you got to go the journey and this is part of my journey so that I don't know where it's gonna lead I'm sure you didn't know where that you would end up here but it's compared to where we started out oh my gosh so much better so much more hopeful signs the important thing is to remember to look back every now and then and I have yourself how far you come because the continuous looking forward you know you know be here now and then only glance in the future and back. But you know, so I know you also have it looks like you're starting to get some retreats going so I want to encourage people to go check out your website it's soulful power comm so I'll that'll be in the show notes. And you can also go there to you know get a link to Christians book awakening the soul of power, which you can also find on on Amazon has already got you know, a lot of amazing reviews. I'll be adding my review there soon too. And if you can, I think you can also get a sample chapter of the book on Christians website, soulful power calm, and he's got a meditation on trust and also some power practices so you can kind of start start the work work while you're waiting for your your paperback copy to hit your mailbox, you know, or if you can't wait 30 seconds for the Kindle version

Unknown: 38:28

on your smartphone.

Justin Wenck: 38:31

So yeah, thanks so much, Christian. Really appreciate it. And yeah, remember to you know, find the motions energy podcast, subscribe and you know, rate me if you have any questions podcast at Justin Wenck calm. Find me on social media. And thanks so much and good day. All right.