Ep 62: Are you an Anxious Person?

Are you an Anxious Person? Or are you just a person who sometimes feels anxious?

 It might seem like small language nuance, but it can have huge implications on how easy you can decide to show up as someone who can handle a situation when needed vs. someone is stuck being a certain way.

 Would you like to be the person needing attention and to be calmed down or would like to be the one people turn to as a source of calm and strength?

 When you switch from BE anxious, to just being someone who FEELS anxious times, it opens the possibility who can then decide to FEEL however they want in a situation. Like feeling calm, confident, or excited, how would that feel?

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Transcript

Justin Wenck: 0:01

Welcome to the engineering emotions and energy podcast. I'm your host, Justin Wenck.

Unknown: 0:07

Today,

Justin Wenck: 0:08

a topic that a lot of you, either you experienced this challenge yourself or you know, people that do, and how can you look at it a possible different way, that gives you a lot more opportunity to have the feeling. And when you have the feeling you want, you can be having the life that you want. Because really, when we're talking about, you know, what we want out of life, usually, if we look at it really closely, it's all about a feeling, right? Like, you know, oh, I want a car, I want to get good grades, I want to make more money, you know, I want to, I want to marry this person, you know, or I want to go on this trip. And when we kind of like dig a little deeper about, you know, what, why do you want each of those units comes down to like, well, I want to feel loved, I want to feel happiness, I want to feel joy, I want to feel fine, I want to feel adventure, you want to feel something? So today's topic is about anxiety? And do you view yourself as an anxious person, or know people that identify themselves as you know, anxious, like, Oh, I'm, I have anxiety, I am anxious. And that's not to say that, you know, this, there isn't, you know, real, clinical anxiety that, you know, what could benefit from medical slash prescription assistance. So I'm not saying definitely would advise, you know, go check out, you know, with a medical professional, these types of things yet. Sometimes, you know, we're not actually to the point where that's necessary. We're just not having a good relationship with our language and the experiences that we're having internally, when we react to what's going on in our lives. Right. So let's take a look at this. So earlier today, I had a dental root planing procedure, which, if you're not not familiar, and I wasn't too familiar, it's, it's basically, I would say, it's like the equivalent of, you know, maybe you hose down yeah, you know, your your driveway or something like that, or you're beside your house to get a clean, this is the equivalent of getting the most powerful power washer, and taking that to your teeth and your gums and stuff like that. So they literally have to numb up the, you know, all like all of your gums in your mouth, because it's that and it's that intense of a cleaning procedure. And it's also so intense that they can only do half the mouth at a time. So today, I only had the right side of my mouth done. And then a few weeks, I'll have to do the left side because it was about two hours. Just just for the procedure that didn't include the half hour before, where there were x rays that had to be taken. And so this is one of those things where a lot of people are like, Oh my gosh, this is like the dentist quadrupled. And a lot of people would get into you know, fear and anxiety and oh my gosh, stressing out blood pressure rising. And then you know what, for a lot of people they would have been freaking out with as they start doing the X rays. And the woman doing the X ray starts having all sorts of problems with the machine like it's not working, trying to plug it into one USB port, because they've they've upgraded the technologies that are using the technology from like, you know, 2000 2003 so it's no longer the 1960s old X ray thing where you know, they go behind the LED shield where your little LED apron, but the rest of your parts are exposed to was probably a unnecessarily large amounts of X rays. So now it's you know, lower dosage that they can handhold it well, it's hooked up to a USB reader and get instant results and they just see it there on the computer. That's how it's supposed to work. They're having all sorts of issues. And they they've moved me into another room. Let's try another computer, another room and another X ray gun and the woman dinner started going oh, this is just this is just a nightmare. This is one of the worst, worst possible things that can happen to my job. I could tell she was getting anxious and I'm like, I don't want her anxious. I want I want her calm because I want them to be focused and relaxed and enjoyable. And so just like oh, it's it's totally fine. It's gonna be good. You know, we're gonna get get through this. And you know, and then the rest of the appointments gonna go really well and eventually figured it out. And she was like, Oh, I'm so happy. These are turning out perfect. These are amazing. Like Yeah, they are really amazing. Yeah, we are really good at this. This is really really fun. And, you know, so had the X rays and then got into the procedure and it It was one of those moments. And I encourage you to do this as often as you possibly can. Because it's something that many of us that, you know, grow up in our Western culture don't do nearly often enough, is notice when you do something like really, really, really fucking amazing and really cool. Like, when there's something that would make most average, people get really upset and really frustrated, I was really calm and really relaxed, because that was the intention that I had, you know, going into it like for the last few days, I've just been setting my intention, putting myself into a little self hypnosis and doing meditations where I visualize how smooth and calm and whatever this poll procedure is going to be. And I wasn't gonna let the little X ray machine change that, you know, right before gametime, absolutely not. And so I stayed calm and was able to help, you know, the person working, stay calm. And then we had a really good as good as can be when you know, someone's in your mouth for about two and a half hours. You know, and I was almost, you know, falling asleep taking a nap. And they almost had to go like, hey, it seems like that's bothering a little bit. Do you want a little bit more? More anesthetic injected there? I was like, Oh, yeah, I guess a little bit more benign, if we can get back to my nap. And. And so

Unknown: 6:17

yes,

Justin Wenck: 6:18

it is really cool that I have the ability to do that. And just and you can too, these are all stuff that's built up over, you know, while I've been out of many, many years, it doesn't necessarily have to take as long as it's taken me. You know, I, I've, you know, have ways that make it a lot easier that my perfect life, meditation system tools of that, and it learned instant relaxation. And so this is all stuff that's possible. But it doesn't even matter if it's possible. What matters is are you motivated to even try it out? You know, do you actually want to be the person that you know, this can be in a situation like that. And you can notice that you might want to feel anxious, that, you know, this could be an anxiety inducing event yet, you can be aware of that and then consciously choose, you know, that I'm going to stay relaxed. And I want to see if I can, you know, help calm this out and make this smoother, make this easier, make this more relaxed, so that it's more full of well, being more relaxing, and more effective overall, for everybody else. So, you know, part of that is just noticing, what do you say, when you talk to yourself when something like that happens? Like if something's not going your way? Do you start, you know, ratcheting it up saying like, Oh, this always happens, like, Oh my gosh, now I'm feeling I'm now at now I'm feeling anxious. Why am I such an anxious person? Oh, my gosh, I can't believe this is happening. Again, this always happens to me. This has happened for so long, like, Why? Why does this always happen? And that type of self talk just can kind of like escalate it more and more and more. Whereas, if we can become aware of that, then we have the chance of possibly saying something else, it could be a little bit more helpful. And when you're just getting started out, you might not actually have a different experience for a while. But as you go on, you give yourself a bit of a chance, you have the opportunity, because if you go from I am anxious, you know, why is Why am I always so anxious to just like, Oh, I'm noticing that I'm starting to have some anxious feelings. I'm a person right now, in this moment, experiencing anxious feelings. It's subtle, but it's huge. Because the first one is that's forever. That's you've been that way you are that way you will be that way. The other one is limiting it in time that it's at least in this moment in time, I am I am experiencing this feeling and there creates what I like to call it a lot of people would call some distance between you and the feeling. Because often when we're saying like I am anxious, I am upset. There is no distance between you and the feeling you you have become that you are embodying that. Now some feelings can be fantastic. I am love. I am abundant. I am confident, some fat Yes, yes. Good to have as little distance between those types of feelings in yourself as much as possible yet, I am angry. I am tired. I am a jerk. I am depressed, I am anxious. These feelings, the more distance we can get from them as much as possible, the better it is for us and and not just you those around you. Because if you have a little distance, then you also have a chance of going like, you know what, I don't want to feel this way anymore. I'm going to do something differently. I'm maybe going to go take a walk or I'm going to take some deep breaths, breathing. Take some deep breaths or I'm just going to focus On how grateful I am, that I can be here breathing and noticing these things, and that I had some food today and that I'm likely going to have a meal later today. And oh, now I'm feeling now a person feeling really, really good. I am really grateful person that I can notice my thoughts and my feelings, and I can place my attention wherever I want them to be. So is this something that you feel is worthwhile? Or is this something you've already started to play with? And have you started to notice any changes and how it's going? So I'd really like you to, you know, let me know, your thoughts on this topic, you know, just that little shift of, you know, I am versus I currently feel, and then gives you half a chance to maybe decide to do a different behavior, and lead yourself to a different way of feeling because a different way of feeling is often why we're doing just about anything we're doing in life, because we're looking to have the most amazing possible feelings we can feel, you know, while we're alive, right? Like just feeling, feeling lots of love, feeling lots of abundance, feeling lots of joy, feeling lots and lots of adventure, feeling lots of growth as well, right? And that's what we're here trying to do on this show is helping you with that growth part. So in also helping you feel less stressed, more energetic, and being able to get aligned with your purpose in life. So that's what we're all about here in the engineering emotions energy podcast. So I'm Justin Wenck, PhD, you can email me podcast at Justin Wenck comm Find me on all the social media, please rate this and, you know, subscribe as well. And we'll talk to you soon. Good day.