Sickness, Setbacks, and Still Growing? - A Guide

In this delayed episode of Engineering Emotions & Energy with Justin Wenck, Ph.D., he opens up about a personal bout of severe illness and the deeper lessons that came from it. More than a story about getting sick, this episode dives into what happens when life throws curveballs—and how we can find resilience, growth, and even joy in the moments that don’t go as planned.

Takeaways include:

• How to reframe illness or hardship as an opportunity for deeper rest and insight
• Recognizing support systems you may have overlooked
• Using setbacks to re-evaluate your life’s pace and purpose
• Why presence during painful times creates emotional strength
• The transformative power of self-care and perspective

This episode is a powerful reminder that life’s toughest moments often carry the seeds of our most profound breakthroughs.

Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!

Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!

Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.

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Transcript

Justin Wenck: 0:00

What are some experiences that you've had in the past that you wouldn't have planned yet? Maybe there? What was the gift? What was the jewel? What was the gem that came through? Sometimes we get stuck in a view, and these things sometimes are meant to shake us out of it, but sometimes we need a little help to see that perspective, get that shift, to get that gift, so then we can move on and have new, even more incredible experiences. So you are the master of your world if you are doing what the world is asking of you and working in conjunction with it, by when the world says, Hey buddy, you're sick, it's time to rest and it's time to reevaluate some things. If you go with that, then you're gonna get so much through the process, and it's gonna go very quickly, and you're gonna come out the other side so much better. Often. Are you ready to live a life with enough time, money and energy have relationships and connections that delight you? Are you ready for the extraordinary life you know you've been missing. If so, then this is the place for you. I'm a best selling author, coach, consultant and speaker who's worked in technology for over two decades. I'm a leader at transforming people and organizations from operating in fear, obligation and guilt to running off joy, ease and love. It's time for engineering emotions and energy with me. Justin Wenck, PhD, today I'm going to be talking about how to handle life when life does not go how you planned it. You had plans, you had ways you wanted things to go, and you were doing everything that you thought you should be to for things to go the way you wanted, and yet, boom, things just don't work out. And this happened to me very recently, as you might might be noticing if you're a regular watcher, listener of this program, that release every two weeks, and didn't get the release last week. So this is coming on a week later than it should. You know that's that's does my plan for this yet life the universe, whatever you want to call that had other plans, and I was incredibly sick for two weeks, like, the first week was miserable, just like a top, like, top five illness of my entire life, type of illness, you know? And that included, that includes having mono, from when I was a freshman year of college to the first time I got COVID, and, you know, some other illnesses, is definitely high up there, and how sick I was. And so this episode, you're going to be talking about how to handle these things that, like you never would have gone like, Yeah, I'm going to go through this experience, whether that's an illness, an injury or, you know, a breakup or a loss, you know, these things that in life, that they just kind of happened to us, and that nobody would have planned, like, Oh, I think on Tuesday I'm gonna, you know, lose my mom. And then let's, let's see, let's, let's pencil in. Let's give myself about six weeks to digest that. And then let's have a extreme illness or and then, and then, I think about a year and a half will be good. And then let's, let's have a loss of, you know, lose, lose the job, or have to change or move or something like that. Like, nobody's going to put that in, right? That's not part of anyone's plan. Yet, it is a part of life and how we handle it, how we deal with it, determines the quality of our life and how much we enjoy it, and how much we can benefit from these experiences. The first week, it ended up being this thing where, as I got better, I slowly realized how sick I was like after, after about a week and a half, I finally got a good night's sleep. And I was like, Oh, I think I've been sleep deprived for over a week, because at first I had such a horrible headache that I couldn't sleep, and then I had such a horrible cough that I couldn't sleep. And I don't think I really realized how exhausted I was at just a deep, deep level, until I finally got like, a first night of like, good sleep, and I'm like, Oh my gosh, that's what's that's what sleeps like. It had been a while, and now I can kind of understand how really, truly tired I am. You know, not to go too much into, you know what, what happened and whatnot. But, you know, brought up all these memories of previous times that I had been sick and I was able to actually, you know, get some help from some really amazing people in my life. You know, even have one person that, you know, brought me soups and groceries and medicines and things like that. And it was like, Oh, I. This is something like, really cool that I have, you know, good people in my life that that care about me and are here to help me when I'm sick and, you know, looking back and just kind of realizing like, oh, things have really shifted in in a positive direction. And if I hadn't gotten sick like this, I wouldn't have gotten to have the experience of realizing that, oh, I've got these great resources, these great people, these great connections in my life, and that my my world is here to care for me, that there is help, that there is care available in my world. So these are the things to start to look for when you're going through your own challenges, your own things that happened in life. And then also another thing that is very important is to maybe see the wisdom and that maybe there is some good planning, that it's like, oh, maybe this is actually working out. Okay. So in my example, I recently, just got back from a short, long weekend trip down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. So just, you know, right, right on the beach, pool and things like that. And it was literally, if that trip had been one day sooner, I would have been too sick to go on it. Yet, the illness that started long enough before and got wrapped up enough that I was able to go and, you know, was I sleeping? Probably more than I would have. I had been completely healthy, you know, if I hadn't had this illness, yes, yet it worked out. Because the point of the trip really was to go, to relax, to reset, to get to be in some sunshine, eat some good food, and to just, you know, be somewhere soaking up sun and, you know, good connection and a good good place and good vibes. And so to not be at 100% was actually ended up being a gift, because, since I was still like, tired, I wasn't like, oh, i Let's go do jet skiing, and let's go do this activity and that thing and this thing. Because I'll be honest with you, maybe you have this I can tend to make my vacations just as busy as the rest of my regular life. And so to be a little bit, you know, off my game resulted in, oh, I did it differently. I was able to just sit and be and enjoy the views, enjoy the temperatures, and enjoy the atmosphere, and not needing to do anything, not needing to accomplish. I didn't didn't get through any books. I didn't do a lot of activities, but I did get to, you know, have some great meals. I did get to enjoy some great views. I got to have some good conversations. It was a really incredible trip, and it was restful and rejuvenating. And I came back actually feeling like, oh yeah, I feel like, more rested, more well, more at peace than when I went, whereas often in the past, I used to come back from a trip and it's like, okay, now I got to recover from this. And then now it's like, not really any substantial need to recover. It's like, a, you know, did, did some vacation eating, and it's like, I'm back now I'm gonna eat, like, when I'm at home, my normal, healthful way. No big deal. And kind of sleep, how I sleep when I'm at home, and, you know, get back to work in an easeful, joyful way. So looking for, you know, the hidden gifts and you know, basically when things life doesn't go the way that you wanted it to do. So like, you know, from getting to experience, you know, the people here to help me out and my world caring for me, to getting to do something differently. And another thing that I realized that was, you know, another gift of not being, of not being well, was I wasn't able to do what I usually did, like, you know, not even really able to enjoy watching, you know, TV or listen to the same programs and things like that. And so what this allowed me to do is kind of disconnect from my usual diet of of digital media and kind of go, oh, maybe I don't need some of that. Maybe some of that isn't bringing me what I want it to. Maybe there's some messages and some things that are not helping me cultivate the inner state that I want to be cultivating. And as we've talked about often in the show, it's your inner state that really is what creates your outer world. So if you look out in the world and you see nothing, but you know people being horrible things, tragedies and war and. Destruction and all that kinds of stuff. It's reflection what's going on inside of you, period. End of story, not to say that there aren't things happening out there and that, you know, there's a difference between having an awareness and being able to be in a state of equanimity, where you can kind of go, Okay, how do I want the world to be, how would I like things to end up from a space of calmness and peace and clarity, where you can create a vision for what you want, versus being in a frenzied state of fear, of anger, depression, all these things and not being able and just going like this sucks. This sucks. This is bad. It just needs to not be this way, and that's all you can do. That doesn't help anything that doesn't help the world, that doesn't help you. And so if there's too much of that and you're getting an emotional state, it's time to disconnect from these things. And that's something I guys able to get, because it really is. It's a process. A lot of stuff isn't one and done, where you're just going to suddenly, like, switch everything off. Maybe you will. I don't necessarily recommend that. I'm okay with you do things you live your life the way you want to live your life. And if you want a life of like, you know, joy, ease and love, if you do something like you know, very brutally. That's not joy, ease and love. And so you're gonna, if you just cut yourself off from something harshly and like with anger and just like, oh, that's bad, then you still just have that in your life. If you That's the energy you bring to it. And so if you kind of go, Okay, well, let me do a little less of this and try a little more of that. And you might have to come back later and go, Ooh, a little bit of less of that. And, oh, maybe something added in that's that's not quite still what I'm looking for. And so maybe you shift it. And so that's another thing, the opportunity of getting to see, you know, what's been working and what's not, takes a break from, you know, my habitual way of living, of consuming media, of just being and getting to see, like, well, what really matters, what doesn't, what really is life and death. Because there, there are times where I'm just like, oh my gosh, how much am I going to get better? Am I going to get worse? If I get much worse? Am I going to have to go to the hospital? Or what point, at what point do I need to go to the doctor? And so then when, you know, it's things like, well, do I force myself to do a podcast when I'm I'm literally like, am I going to make it or not? And it's like, you know what? It can be okay if it comes one week later. It's like my health, my well being, my state of being, that's truly important. And again, this podcast is important to me. You guys are important to me. And so that's why it's important that I bring to you the best of I am, of someone who's cared, of someone who is rested, as somebody who is energized and able to bring my full self to you. And if I'm in a diminished state and I'm showing up and I'm like, it's almost like a weird Arnold

Unknown: 13:19

Schwarzenegger, you pump it. It's good coming. It's the best thing to pump.

Justin Wenck: 13:27

Yeah, if you want Arnold, you go and see Arnold. You didn't come here for Arnold. You came here for Justin. And if I'm diminished, then it's best for me to take care of me, so then I can come and take care of you. You know, I'm responsible for me. You be responsible for you. And so starting to notice when maybe it's time for you to take care of yourself, then take care of yourself. Because if, again, it's one thing to have others there to support you, but if you're not even willing to allow in the support, then it's not going to do any good, and you're just going to get worse. And then you're kind of being an asshole. You're just being an asshole to the people that do care for about you and do want to help you and do want you for the best if you're going to actively work against them. So again, you are the master of your world, and so if you are doing what the world is asking of you and working in conjunction with it, by when the world says, Hey buddy, you're sick, it's time to rest and it's time to reevaluate some things, if you go with that and work with that, then you're going to get so much through the process, and it's going to go very quickly, and you're gonna come out the other side so much better off. And again, this doesn't matter if it's, you know, being sick or being injured, because I've had, I've had knee surgeries, I've had lots of other surgeries, you know, or if this is a big loss that's happened to your life, you know, whether it's a loss of a job, a. Loss of a relationship, a loss of death of a loved one, whatever it might be, there's gifts. There's gifts in these experiences that you didn't plan, and the reason that they happen is so that you can get these gifts to create an even more amazing world that's better than you probably would have if you'd just been going around with your plan that didn't, that didn't bake in these kinds of experiences that truly give you that, that life that's worth living, that story that is so rich and filled with variety. You know if, if there isn't the sorrows and the heartaches, then how are you going to know that there's the joy and the happiness and when you're in these moments, and you're not trying to just avoid them, when you're truly in them, there can be the joy of living even amongst you know, the the snot and the tears and the angst and the pain and the grief, you can just kind of relax into it and go, this is what's happening right now, and I'm here, and I'm experiencing it, and I'm working with it, and I'm seeing what's here for me, because I choose, I choose to live a life where I get out of my life so many gifts, no matter what's happening, no matter what's happening, there are gifts, there are lessons, and there's ways to enjoy it. And I'm going to enjoy living and I'm going to get through this, and I'm going to see how much better my life can be as a result of what I'm going through now. So I'm curious what you think. What are some experiences that you've had in the past that you wouldn't have planned yet? Maybe there? What was the gift? What was the jewel? What was the gem that came through? I'd love for you to you know, let me know in the comments. Send me a note, because I and if not, you know, again, maybe, you know, book a session with me where we can talk about this, and we can find, you know, the good thing, and it's a shift in perspective, because it's there. Just sometimes we get stuck in a view, and these things sometimes are meant to shake us out of it, but sometimes it has. We need a little help. We need a little help to see that perspective, get that shift, to get that gift. So then we can move on and have new, even more incredible experiences. So I'm very happy to be back, getting back on the regular cadence of every two weeks to do make sure that you're subscribed, that you're following and you know rate, rate this, rate, this show, five stars, five stars. Well, you know, let people know. Share it with a friend. Share it with a friend. You know, yeah, so, so good to be back, to be to be better and to be on the way to being even better than I was before I got sick, to put out even better shows to help even more people have some great impact. And love to hear what you got out of the show. So with that, thank you so much and good day. Thanks for tuning in to engineering emotions and energy with Justin Wenck, PhD, today's episode resonated with you. Please subscribe and leave a five star review. Your feedback not only supports the show, but also helps others find us and start their journey of emotional and energetic mastery. You can also help by sharing this podcast with someone you think will love it just as much as you do together, we're engineering more amazing lives you