The Truth About Time: Healing, Relationships, and Getting What You Want

What if your slow healing, stuck relationships, and “not enough” money story had nothing to do with effort—and everything to do with what you believe about time?

In this mind-bending episode, Justin Wenck, PhD, pulls back the curtain on our most limiting assumption: how long things are supposed to take.

Healing. Money. Breakups. Business growth.Who told you it had to take this long?And what if they were full of 💩?

You’ll never look at a “timeline” the same way again.

🔑 Key Takeaways & Topics Covered:

• Why healing timelines aren’t fixed—and how belief dictates biology
• What your dentist, doctor, breakup buddy, and business guru got wrong about “normal”
• How cultural expectations + unexamined assumptions quietly control your life
• The "Jesus in Nazareth" effect—and how other people’s beliefs limit your power
• How AI and automation are forcing us to drop outdated money myths
• The hidden perks of staying stuck—and how to stop unconsciously choosing them
• Why slowing down is just as rebellious as speeding up

👂 Liked this episode?

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• Share this with a friend who’s tired of waiting for things to “get better.”

💬 Want to go deeper?

• DM Justin your thoughts or breakthroughs on Instagram or LinkedIn: @JustinWenckPhD
• Ready to shift beliefs that no longer serve? Book a Breakthrough Call: 👉 TidyCal: justinwenckphd

📘 Grab the book:

• Engineer to Love is your blueprint for designing a life of freedom and flow. 👉 Learn more https://www.engineeredtolove.com/

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These practices aren't just about finding peace—they're about reconnecting with yourself and the world around you in meaningful ways.

Access your free materials today at engineeredtolove.com/sample and start living a life filled with joy, ease, and love. 

Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!

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Transcript

Justin Wenck: 0:00

Today, I'm going to be talking about time, and not those traditional time management type techniques that maybe you've heard on other podcasters and other places, things like that. But what are your beliefs about time? How long is it supposed to take for things to happen, like healing, making money, hitting over a relationship? So get ready, open your mind and enjoy this time that we're about to spend together. Investigating, what is your relationship with time, and could it shift in ways that allow for way more than you could ever imagine in less time? Are you ready to live a life with enough time, money and energy have relationships and connections that delight you? Are you ready for the extraordinary life you know you've been missing? If so, then this is the place for you. I'm a best selling author, coach, consultant and speaker who's worked in technology for over two decades, I'm a leader at transforming people and organizations from operating in fear, obligation and guilt to running off joy, ease and love. It's time for engineering emotions and energy with me. Justin Wenck, PhD, so going to start this conversation with something that most of us can all relate to, and then we're going to expand that out to a lot of other areas of your life. But how long does it take you to heal? Now that can be a little bit of a wide ranging topic, so let's just make it super simple of how long does it take you to maybe heal from getting a cut? And maybe some of you haven't even thought about this, and then maybe others, it's like, okay, it's like, distant, it takes like, a week or so. Like, you cut your finger in a week or two. It's it's gone. Yeah. Maybe some of you are like, Why does it have to take so fucking long? Why can't I be like Wolverine in the Marvel movies, who can heal like almost instantaneously? And there are statistics on how long it takes for things to heal. And one, one reason I know this is because, back when I was 19, I was going to get my tonsils removed, and my my surgeon at the time, wanted to do a test, you know, in addition to a bunch of other blood work to make sure I'm healthy and stuff like that. But while I was getting the other blood work taken, the phlebotomist, who ended up being somebody I went to high school with, which was a little weird, you know, there's, there's some of these things where it's just like, Wait somebody, somebody who's exactly my age. This, this was new to me, being doing things in a medical setting. And this is going to tie in a little bit with what we're talking about, and it might have had to do with why I had the experience with with this, with this woman that I did, where she had a challenge of a time, you know, getting the blood out of my veins, then doing this test that I'm about to tell you, and eventually a more experienced phlebotomist. Phlebotomist, by the way, that's the the title of the person that draws your blood when you get your blood taken at a lab, or whatever. Phlebotomist, anyway, so the test is called bleeding time, and it's about as fancy as it sounds. They cut you, and then they just see how long you bleed for. Now they have a special tool which ensures, for the most part, they get a consistent depth and size of the cut, and which means that this is something that has been studied, and it's also something that they don't really do anymore. Because, you know, the idea would have been, it's like, well, if somebody takes forever to stop bleeding, then maybe we don't want to do the surgery on them, because then they're just going to bleed out during the surgery or the operation. Apparently, that's turned out to not be a good correlation. I don't know what they do now, may they just ask you, like, Hey, do you have any challenges bleeding? Or I don't know what they do, but I've only had this done once, and so apparently these the stats on this is that the normal range of bleeding time was two to nine minutes with them, the average being somewhere between three and six. Now, what's funny is, is it the fact that the normal range is two to nine, that means that, you know, I mean, most often we go like, well, the longer one that's unhealthy, right? Does that means you're bleeding and you're not stopping and you're supposed to stop bleeding? So it's it's like, well, if it's over 10 minutes, there's probably something, some something else that needs to be looked at, right? But the fact that under two minutes is also considered not normal, because the minimum observed, apparently, is as low as one and a half minutes for this, which, if you only took a minute and a half to stop bleeding from. This, you would be not normal. And it's like, well, why are we going to say that that's not normal? So already starting to see, you know, it's time, and labels we put on it that things are supposed to stay a certain amount of time, otherwise what? It's not normal. And you might be going like, Okay, this bleeding time thing, but what about, you know, other things, like superficial wounds, you know, like a cut. You cut your finger while, while slicing up some fruit. And there's been studies done on on this, because, you know, there's some things where they they got to cut you. They got to cut you. I think this was something to do with, with like grafting, where they need to take some, some amount of skin, put it somewhere else. I've had gum tissue grafting done. So I've had the palate of my mouth tissue removed from there so that it could be placed on my gums. So there's, there's legit, you know, help, helpful reasons why they might cut people. And they've used these to do studies. And in this they've basically the the average, the median healing time in this, in the studies for this is eight days to heal. Yet, the range I find, I find interesting, is seven to 14 days, meaning that some people can take as long as double yet, there's nobody that takes less than seven days for this, this healing to happen, at least not in this study. And I think because, again, our beliefs are so powerful. What we believe is possible is so key into what we allow to happen in our lives. A good example of this is the story of when European sailing ships first started appearing on the shores of, you know, what is now North central South America. You know, to them, it was considered the new world. To the people who live there, it was just fucking home. Yet these people are just going about their business, checking out the ocean, and they're just like, Cool. Looks like a beautiful day. Yet there were giant galleons. Is that? What is European sailing ships of the pre 1800s variety, you know, made of wood and, like, huge, huge. And some of these ships were giant. Yet the story is that the people that were native there could not see them, so all of a sudden they're just walking around, and then there's like, people that are just like, hey, what's going up, buddy? And they don't know where they came from. Why? Because they had no concept of a ship like that existing, that that wasn't something that was possible. It was not even in the conception, so therefore they weren't able to see it. And so that's how powerful beliefs can be, as if we don't see something as possible. And the thing is, it's not just an individual. There's the collective belief. And often this is told of what the belief is, because most people have probably been told when they cut themselves, especially if they've ever gone to a doctor, they'll, even if you don't ask, they'll often tell you as they're bandaging you up. And now this is going to take, you know, anywhere from one to two weeks to heal. And so even if, in the study, they didn't ever tell the people that this is a common thing, because you probably, I didn't, you know, read how the study was constructed, but I would imagine it would be poor form to say the healing takes between seven to 14 days. And then the whole point is to figure out how long people take to heal. And so they probably didn't say that. But yet, everybody that's doing the study believes that has that experience, and everybody going into that has been told that and witnessed that their entire life. So there's a belief about the amount of time, yet there are cases where people heal much, much faster. And the other thing is, is that there's parts of the body that are known, that are documented to heal much, much faster. So like the the mouth is widely known for healing much faster, where, where cuts and wounds and things like that can heal in one to two days. And so there's, there's explanations, yet I do find interesting is that a lot of things, when you really back up and zoom where they go, like, Well, yeah, there's this and this and this and this, they're just observing what happens and saying that that's the reason it's not the reason it's just you observe that, but because I think in the mouth, there's, there's something of like, there's more stem cells, or some, there's some, some extra magic in the mouth. Yet, why is that extra magic in the mouth? I think they're not going to have a great explanation, because there's a little bit of, like, whatever's in one part of your body could probably be in another part of the body. Just, why does it go one place and not the other place? Maybe it's because we believe it only belongs in the mouth area, not in the other areas. Now, I don't want to get too much off into, you know, the healing, but just that there's a rain. Change of how long people can take to heal, and questioning like, why are there? Why do the certain limits exist? Because often, you know, in the healing spaces that are a little bit more nebulous, that aren't, you know, a cut, you know something where it's like, okay, of a measurable wound has been inflicted, but something a little bit more nebulous, like, Oh, my back hurts, or my shoulders tight, or something's been going on with my skin, something that maybe it might might seem like it happened overnight, which is often kind of funny, because, you know, there's often like, oh, I woke up and I must have slept wrong. So that's why my neck hurts today, and it's like, well, but you sleep every night. And so nothing else changed. So something, something else shifted, and the only thing that can really be shifting is what's going on, you know, mentally, emotionally, that has to do with your, your nervous system, or neurologically. So there's a little bit of like, well, something, something that's, you know, within the realm of, you know, Mind Control, mind being in control of it has shifted, something that has changed your body that now you've car consciously knowing it. And so it's these are something that did happen overnight yet. Did it really happen overnight? Or is it just a something happened overnight as a result of maybe some things that happened over a long period of time? Because it's usually those cricks and cranks and ouchies, whatever they take, you know, days, weeks, months to resolve. And often you go to a chiropractor, you go to a massage therapist or whatever. And they'll often say like, well, you know this could take some time, you know, to release, to let go, to heal, and you know that what got you to this point didn't happen overnight. So it might not go away overnight. So there's often a level setting, and usually, at least, I think, in my experience, the real reason why that is done is not because it there's any law of the universe that says because, because often, when something finally gets better. It feels like it practically went away overnight, right? There's, there's not like, Oh, it was a measurable it got a little bit better, a little bit better. It's, there's usually a little of that, but then at some point it's like, oh, I just don't even worry about the thing in my neck anymore, or I don't worry about the pain in my in my my hip, like it just kind of just kind of went away. Because often these types of things that aren't, you know, a direct, you know, physiological, tear rip, whatever that have kind of happened. You know, over time, it's the causes, more emotional, psychological, if you will. There's starting to be more and more evidence to support this, and so it's really the physical is a symptom of something psychological, emotional, and it's usually those things that need to get worked out, because these are signals to say, like, hey, maybe you need to slow down, or maybe there's something you need to say, or maybe you just need help, or maybe you just need something to change in your life, and that's what is often going to take the time that's going to lead to the physical healing. And so some of it is, what do you believe about how long these things take to happen, not just on the physical level, but the emotional level? Because let's bring this to the area of breakups, right? Or endings of relationships. Like, I think I grew up hearing that like, well, you know, for every year you're with somebody, that's going to take a month to get over that person. And, you know, yes and no. I mean, it could just depend, right? It depends on how, how the parting happened. So it could, it could be, like you could be over somebody in almost an instant, depending on how it ended. Yet there could be some cases where maybe it was just a month, but it'll take you a year or 10 years to work through that. Nothing is bad or wrong, better or worse. But there's no magic to oh, this month per year thing that you have to do that, if not, you're not normal, because we do have this tendency where we want to be, we want to be normal or be in relation to normal, so either be exceptional or be within range, or would not be bad. Or maybe there's a part of us that does want to be bad, because there's a benefit some of these things. There's a benefit to not getting well, like, maybe you get time off, maybe you get attention, maybe you get to have a I definitely know this for myself. When I look back, it's like, well, if, if I had a body that didn't have any pains, then why would I go get a massage? Why would I go to these Why would I go to a chiropractor? Or where I get to interact with people and have a little bit of time that's just for me. I get to really relax and get to learn how to be calm, and all these things. And so what is the secret benefit to your current model of how long things take? Now, I don't want this to be again all about, you know, physical healing. But bring this to what are your opinions of how long it takes to maybe make money or lose money, right? Like, for whatever reason it's so easy to lose money, like casinos really make that apparent. Yet, do you have a belief that it takes a long time to make lots of money that, like, oh, to get 10% more is going to take me, you know, two to three years. And the thing is, is especially in money, is you're going to be able to find you're going to be able to find examples that will break any belief that you have. Yet, you're probably going to have beliefs that reinforce your core belief about the current time frame, that allow you to just ignore those like, well, but that person that made you know millions and billions of dollars within just a couple years, like they were a bad person. So you can't be a good person and do that. So therefore, my model of how the world works, as far as money, is still valid, because I'm a good person, and good people take, you know, years to slowly increase the amount of money they have in their life. And one of the things is as you start to become aware of maybe what the beliefs you have about time and how long things take, you know, both to heal, to make money, to shift in relationships, whether it's creating new ones or getting over old ones, is starting to expand. Of well, who, who benefits from these beliefs, right? You know, if we look at the medical system, there can be beliefs of like, well, if you takes a while to get better, then that's more appointments. Then that's financially beneficial. If it goes to like, relationships, and it's like, oh, can take so long to get over somebody, and it's like, well, maybe you shouldn't leave somebody. You should stay with them. And it's like, oh, it takes a long time to to connect to somebody new. Then like, oh, yeah, I guess I better. I better just keep things the way they are. And then with the money thing, it's like, well, if only bad people can, you know, be financially secure or make lots of money quickly. I want to be a good person. And if it's good, you got to stick it out slowly, and you got to wait and be patient. Doesn't that benefit? You know, staying, staying in a wage type job where you have an employer that will just kind of like tease out these, you know, some slow, socially acceptable amounts of increases. So if you look at what you currently believe about time and how long things take or don't take, you'll see that it kind of supports the life that you've had and the world that you had. And if maybe some of these things started to shift, maybe your life would shift, maybe your world would shift. Maybe you could have less pain, maybe you could have more loving relationships, maybe you could have more financial security and abundance. So the last thing that I kind of want to bring up is that has to do with this of what's possible based off of your beliefs. And again, I'm going to be really careful here, because when I'm talking about beliefs, I'm not talking about your religious beliefs. Of you know, who's of you know, what's a deity? Who's a deity? But just of like, what do you assume is true without any facts? And this is, again, like, you know, there's, there's no there's, there's, although there's lots of observances that a cut takes about a week to heal, there is actually nothing that prevents it from healing much faster. And there's documenter proof that on Actually, I did look this up, that children heal much, much faster. So there's something inherent that is possible, but then is it? As children learn, collect what they collectively like, they know you can't heal fast, that fast. You gotta slow it down. So they go like, okay, I guess I don't want to be weird, so I guess it'll take a week to heal a cut. Whereas I think I saw something like can be somewhere like five days or four days, there is this capability in the human system already to do things faster than is supposedly normal. And if we start to question and start to allow things to maybe not be normal, or normalize the out of range, and start to go like, well, what's often, what serves me, what serves you, what serves all of us, instead of just going with what we've gotten that if we start to have some of these new beliefs in just these areas, you know, especially about money, especially in the world of AI and robotics, where. This, that only, only money earned from hard work is going to be beneficial. That's not going to work out well. If you want to benefit from AI and robotics, if you want to live a shit, awful life with those things around those beliefs are perfect for that. But if you want to believe that money can just flow in quickly and easily with little effort, then AI and robotics is going to make that possible. So start to see how some of these things that maybe you believe and have accepted, what kind of world is that going to create, whereas if you start to question them and go like, Well, yeah, I believe that something else was possible, then wow, that the whole lot of things could change in my life, in my world, and for those that I love. So bring this back to the area where I'm like, Okay, now that we've got what a belief is that I want to talk about this, let this be a thought experiment, because I don't want you to believe this is true. Because again, a lot of what I'm about to share with you, the language that we have it in, has been modified over many, many, many centuries by various people with different understandings, different objectives, different things, and so we're not even getting what the original words were and what I'm going To be sharing, what I want to share with you is this concept of basically Jesus, the historical Jesus, and what was stated in the Bible. And just use this more as a thought experiment, because I recently saw this, and it really just, it made me reconsider some things in a whole new light, that in the Bible, you know, I'm not saying you have to believe any of this is true, but in the construct, in the story, Jesus did miracles, healings, right? Like, you know, and turned water into wine. I recently saw like, a really funny sketch where it's Jesus, Jesus and the apostles. They go, they go into a restaurant, like in modern day, and they get, they get sat down. And the waitress goes to Jesus, like, so, yeah, so, so, what do you what do you guys want to what do you want to drink? And everyone starts, all the apostles start chuckling, and and Jesus go like, Oh, I'm we're just quiet guys. We're just going to have water. We're just going to have water. They all laugh. And the waitress like, I don't, what the fuck? And because they're laughing, because Jesus can turn water into wine, in the Bible says, like, they're going to get free wine, you know, they just can get water and they're going to turn it into wine. That was the joke of the sketch. And so anyway, Jesus can do miracles, if you're not familiar in the Bible, like magic. Can do magic shit. Yet it's interesting, when Jesus goes back to his hometown of Nazareth, cannot to do the magic. No magic. Why? In the Bible, it's uses the term of like the people didn't have faith. Yet, another interesting way to look at the term faith is is beliefs, like they didn't have beliefs that Jesus could do miracles, because they knew him as just a carpenter, the carpenter's son the carpenter. And it's like, well, the carpenter's son works wood, doesn't work miracles. And so thinking of this that what others believe about you and what you believe about you can be part of a constraint many of you that maybe don't go and visit. You know, your your family of birth very often, you know, it's like, you might do these amazing things out in the world, yet you go home and it's like, well, you're just, you're just the person who, you know, you cracked your pants when you were, like, nine years old. And you know, you just say dumb things and that they don't want to let you do the magic that you can do, whether that's, you know, amazing copywriting, or maybe you are a medical doctor, or all these things. So it's very common. And so something to be aware of when you are going to do something you know, that's going to be magic compared to what you came from. You know, even if it is just, you know, you're a great a great speaker, great communicator to them. They might never see it, you know, whatever. You might be a great coder, but they'll never allow you to code something up to improve their life. They'll never use your app, whatever. This is kind of a common thing, but just this thought experiment that if you know, in the context of the story that you know they get to get this a Jesus guy, this literally Son of God and that powerful that that human belief is still that powerful that it basically doesn't allow a deity to do stuff. Then imagine what your beliefs and the beliefs of those around you have been doing to you and to your life and and how long things you need to take. Have to take and start to question that of like, does it do I really need to take this much time to heal? Do I really need to take this much time to get to get inspiration? I need to take this much time to make money, to feel abundant? Do I need to take this much time to build a business? Do I need to take this much time to have a good. Relationship. Do I need to take this much time to get over a loss right? Start to question, and then the natural thing is, like, okay, maybe I could, but how do I go about it? Well, that's a whole other topic, and something that really it's doable, and something that maybe I'll do a podcast in the future. It's something that I can work with, with people, one on one, with I'm going to start to figure out there's ways to do it in groups. So if that's something that just like, ah, there's something I really want to change. Like, you know, maybe reach out to me. Yet, there's, there's many people that can help you shift beliefs. Lots of ways to shift beliefs. So something you could go and look into, but you gotta be you gotta believe you can change what you believe. Otherwise, none of these things are going to work. You're not even going to see it. You're not even going to see that. There's these ways to shift your beliefs. So with that, I'd love to hear like, what are some, what are some areas where you might be questioning, I might have a new perspective on does it have to be this way, and you're starting to question, I'd love for you let me know in the comments, you know, or find me on social media. So Justin Wenck, PhD, love to hear what's something you're starting to go like, ooh, does that have to be so you know what amount of time is really necessary to do some things in both ways? Because maybe you want it. Maybe it's like, well, you're supposed to only take four years to go through college, but like, maybe you want to take, like, six years, seven years, because you want to really enjoy it and take your time. Ooh, yeah, it doesn't have to be all about doing things faster, right? What if it's about slowing down and allowing yourself to really appreciate enjoy the experience. So yeah, love to hear what you guys are getting from this. Thanks so much for listening, watching, do the like the subscribe the rate and love to hear from you. So with that, thank you and good day. Thanks for tuning in to engineering emotions and energy with Justin Wenck, PhD, today's episode resonated with you. Please subscribe and leave a five star review. Your feedback not only supports the show, but also helps others find us and start their journey of emotional and energetic mastery. You can also help by sharing this podcast with someone you think will love it just as much as you do. Together, we're engineering more amazing lives. You.