How to Love Your Year (and Yourself)

How did your last year go? You didn’t just survive this past year—you grew, overcame, created, and loved.

But if you’re not remembering that, you’re missing the fuel that will drive the year to come.

In this episode, Justin Wenck, PhD, invites you to take a loving and honest look back at your year and discover just how much beauty, growth, and adventure you’ve lived through (even if you forgot most of it).

Whether you're heading into a new year or stuck in the middle of one, this episode will help you reconnect with your story, reclaim your wins, and remember how much progress you’ve made, even when it didn’t feel like it.

✨ Key Takeaways

🔁 You’ve done more than you think. Use your calendar to remember the highlights—and the healing.

🧠 Why our brains often forget the good stuff (and how to reclaim it).

🗻 The "Mount Everest" metaphor: Why falling into a pit might mean you climbed farther than anyone else.

💔 Reframing hardships and loss—Justin shares stories of illness, grief, and letting go.

🛠️ Categories to reflect on: health, travel, relationships, growth, skills, and joy.

💡 The life-changing power of self-love—and how to build it (including a mirror technique that’s not for the faint of heart).

🧘🏽‍♂️ How loving yourself creates sustainable motivation, energy, and emotional transformation.

Ready to reflect? Open your calendar, scan the last 12 months, and start noticing what you forgot to celebrate.

Want to feel more grounded, peaceful, and connected? Try Justin’s Life Energy Activation Process (LEAP) at JustinWenck.com/LEAP.

Revisit Episode 35 for the powerful “I Love Myself” guided meditation.

Share your breakthrough with Justin: What did you forget that you now remember?

Comment on social or email: podcast@justinwenck.com

Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!

Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!

Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.

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Transcript

Justin Wenck: 0:00

How has your year been? Welcome to the show. I really do want to know, how has the past year of your life been, and I'm guessing, no matter how good or bad you think it's been, it's actually been even better than you actually remember. And that's why, on today's episode, we're going to be going over why it's so important that you actually recognize how great of a year you actually had. Because if you're not owning that and seeing that and utilizing that, you're basically saying, I want to have a way more challenging year than I need to. And there's no reason for that. So if you want to have the easiest, most incredible, most enjoyable year that you've had so far in your life. You're not going to want to miss this episode. Are you ready to live a life with enough time, money and energy have relationships and connections that delight you? Are you ready for the extraordinary life you know you've been missing. If so, then this is the place for you. I'm a best selling author, coach, consultant and speaker who's worked in technology for over two decades. I'm a leader at transforming people and organizations from operating in fear, obligation and guilt to running off joy, ease and love. It's time for engineering emotions and energy with me. Justin Wenck, PhD, so what do I mean by like you probably had a much better year than you recognize? Well, this is going to be a real key to loving your year, loving yourself and loving what's coming up before you. So this is something that I've been practicing for a very long time, and I'm also going to tie it in with one of the most popular topics that I've ever covered on this show. And I think you're going to see how simple yet how powerful it is in making you have the life that you actually want to have, instead of just having the life that you seem to get, whether you want it or not, because you want the wildlife you want, right? Not just the life you got. If you're happy with the life you got, then why are you listening to this? I would love, yeah, let me know. I'd love to hear why you're listening to this. If you're like, I just just like my, like my beautiful face, or my the sound of my my voice. Anyway, what we're talking about is, first off, have you actually looked back at what happened in the past year? Because I'm recording this before the before 2025 is over. It's going to come out just right before Christmas. So many of you might be listening to this, you know, leading into the new year, yet, whether you're listening to this at that time, or maybe sometime in the middle of the year, whenever you listen to this, it's always a good time to look back on what's been going on, and especially at the end of the year, because when you actually look back at what has happened, you're going to realize that you've probably accomplished and experienced a whole lot more than you've allowed yourself to remember. And you're also going to recognize that it wasn't all smooth sailing, that you might have had some issues, some challenges, and despite all that, you still had the experiences and the triumphs and the great experiences and loves and connections that that you ultimately ended up having again. This doesn't mean that the year was easy and that everything went your way. There could have been all sorts of horrible things, yet what I'm arguing is it was better than you likely remember. So how do you actually remember all this? And so for many people, the this is going to be simple. For others of you, this might require, you know, maybe adopting one new, simple, but also helpful habit, and that habit, or that thing that is going to be really easy, is to go and just review your calendar. So if you're like me and many other people, and you keep a calendar, I use Google Calendar. However you keep a calendar, maybe it's the old school paper calendar. Was it Franklin Covey or whoever, whoever it was, but basically, whatever way that you were able to make sure that you showed up for appointments, showed up for meetings, showed up for the airport and showed up for dates and gatherings and whatnot. Like, that's basically most of what happened in the past year, right? So I, I've done this every year for, I don't know, well, over a decade. Like, originally it was something I had to do as part of working, you know, at a corporate job where every year they're like, Well, you got it. We got to do self assessment time. And basically they have you, they had me, they had all of us, where I, you know, worked for, you know, 10 years initially, at my first company is you rewrite your own self assessment and then they. Basically, you go through it with your manager, and he kind of goes, okay, yeah, that's what you did. And here's what I think about it. But it's like, Wait, what did I do? And so I would go through my calendar and it's like, oh yeah, I worked on that project, or oh yeah, I went on that trip. And it's like, you know? So it's like, going through my own personal calendar, and I'm like, Oh yeah, I went to Guatemala in April, and I had this great Yellowstone Grand Tetons trip, and went to, went to Cancun or not didn't. It wasn't Cancun, it was Cabo San Lucas. Like, I always get their opposite sides of Mexico. I get them, I get them confused, because they're both C words, but they're not hairy, C words, some of you will find that funny, but it's like, oh yeah, I had these great events. And the thing is, is not everything that happened to you is going to be in your calendar, but it's going to jar your memory, because when I was going through those trips, I also remember like, Oh yeah, right after that Guatemala trip, I was really sick. I had a crazy stomach bug for an entire week where I was basically just staying at home and staying on the toilet, if you know what I mean, yeah, the old fashioned Hershey squared. So get you every every time I'm telling you. So you know it's like, Oh yeah, and then Oh right. A week before I went to the Cabo trip, I was also like, horribly, horribly ill, like a fever, a headache, like I wasn't moving. And there was another period where it was after the Grand Tetons, the Yellowstone trip, I think that one, I don't know there was another where I was out for a week. So I had, like, three weeks of the year where I was horribly, horribly sick. It's like, oh, and still, with all of that, like, I had my new energy practice, the life energy activation process that I started to get out to people, and I did multiple events with that taught lots of people. I had the audio cues, audio created, and people are loving it. I got so many amazing testimonials of how it impacts them, how they feel calm, how they feel grounded, and just how it makes them just feel great for even just a few minutes at a time. And I know many of these people and gotten to see, like, the shifts that have happened in their life. And so I, you know, I see the, you know, these challenges, and then I see, oh, what I was still able to overcome, and even the challenge of being sick, I kind of recognize, like, oh, wait, I handled that differently than I had in the past. Like I was able to handle it by shifting my diet and getting lots of rest instead of just, Okay, well, let me just medicate myself and power through, you know, I was able to actually, like, you know, care for myself and let myself rest and heal. So even seeing some of these times where it was, Oh, I got, I got knocked down. But really it was, it was a learning experience, and it was part of my growth and part of my my amazing story for the year. And so by, just by going through your calendar and just kind of like recognizing and I what I like to do, and we're going to be tying this in with how going through this is very key to the one of the most favorite episodes is episode 35 and we talked about it on episode 100 and can't believe that that was, you know, that that's not the only 100 episode celebration that I've had to have, because I just just remembered this year I celebrated 200 episodes of doing this show that that that was this year. So, like, there's another thing that I'm like, Oh my gosh, I can't believe I've been doing this, this podcast. And, you know, we started just doing just just doing on audio, and then at some point, added the video and been on YouTube. And thank you to those that do like and subscribe on YouTube, because it's been very, very happy with, you know, all the interactions and Pete things that have gotten to come through the the YouTube following. So definitely appreciate that. But, you know, it's like, I like to sometimes put these things into categories, and you can change the categories based on what's appropriate for you. But I like, you know, having things to do with health and wellness. I like to talk about trips and adventures that I've had things to do with relationships, right? Because a lot of times, many people, it's like, I could use some, you know, more connections that are of good quality and beneficial. So it's like, what what changed in the realm of relationships? Did you maybe into relationship? Because, you know, one of the challenges I had was, you know, my sister passed away, and so then started to have a little bit more have a little bit more contacts with my father, and then got reminded that, oh, to me, he's just not a good person for me to be around. And it's like, love him. Hope he's happy with the people he's got in his life. And I'm very want nothing but the best and the happiness. But just like that guy, the way he is, not for me, grateful for all the stuff he's done for me, yet I'm going to do my own thing. He can do his thing, and that's great. And just and seeing how great that that can be for both of us, and how that's resulted in me having some of the best experiences with other people, or just by being with myself, I. And, okay, so it's so relationships is a very important category that a lot of people forget, you know, of like, what was the nourishing times? Or what were the ways that you deepen the relationship with yourself? Respect yourself had some boundaries right then, maybe things to do with, like, your home, your car, you know, or, I don't know, tangible thing, because sometimes it's kind of like cool, like, I got my got my dream car, or, Oh, had all these issues with my home. Like, it's funny, like, I look at what happened with where I live, and it's like, I've had a major gas leak, I've had electrical outages, I think probably at least four times this year. Currently, I'm having some heater issues. And it's just like, Wow, is this stuff, stuff's going on. And it's like, I had to be taken care of. And like, how is my business going? Or how's your career? And then I think a really fun, important one is like, what are the skills and growth areas that that you've gotten adventures, put fun stuff. Like, I like, I enjoy movies. So I started, like, going and seeing, like, what movies did I see this year? And it's like, oh yeah. And it reminded me all these good times that I had even going to see these movies. Did I like every movie I saw? No, but it was just like, as an experience, getting to be part of the part of culture and things happening. So even just maybe, when I hear, when you hear me talking about those categories, you start to think of things that have been happening for you in the past year. And you know, some of them good, some of them not so good, yet you're starting to have ideas, and this is where it becomes really important of what lens you look at these through, and it's important to look at it through the lens of self love, like being a really, really loving person to yourself. Now switch gears a little bit to how you can basically love your year by loving yourself and again. It doesn't really matter what year you're talking about, if it's the past year or the upcoming year, if you love yourself, you're going to love love all of it and everything in between. And I first learned this concept from a book called Love yourself like your life depends on it, by Kamal Ravikant, so again, like you know, shared a meditation in Episode 35 definitely go check it out. You know, was called the The I love the guided I love myself. Meditation. That's the name of the episode, if you want to go try to find it. But in this book, you know, as a, I think he is like a Silicon Valley Tech executive type guy that was just miserable, and at some point he's just like, I gotta love myself, like, but my life depends on it. Because he started being like, I think I've had enough of of life, and it's one of those that I can take it totally relate. But to me, I'm always just like, why should I do more work, right? I feel like I've done plenty of plenty of hard work that just seems like one more chore on the to do list, which it's like, it's a little light, but it is also kind of true and heavy that, like I was like shit, like I got, got all these other things to do, and I do ultimately enjoy living my life and love myself enough that I want to keep going and have more more adventures. And when I look back on my year, and there hasn't been a year I haven't done this and looked back, we're going Fuck What an incredible year. I can't believe I thought I didn't do enough, that I wasn't good enough, that I was, you know, somehow less than because I didn't do all these other things. Because do you recognize that? Yeah, you want to, you want to scale Mount Everest, whatever that is for you. And maybe you didn't reach Mount Everest, but if you look and see the vertical feet equivalent of what you've done, you've scaled Mount Everest, maybe 234, times. Just a lot of that was you ended up in a deep valley or a pit, and you had to crawl yourself out of that. And, you know, like, be like, but I didn't make it. Everest, but you know what? You'll learn how to get out of it. And you might and then, yeah, if you're really paying attention, you've learned how to avoid those pitfalls in the future. And you've you've made some headway. You've made some headway toward getting to your Mount Everest. And you're comparing yourself to other people that, yeah, they made they might have made it, but where did they start out, and what was their journey? And because it's like again, if you just take a helicopter to the top of Mount Everest, I don't even know if that's possible, allowed, whatever, but that ain't what they write fucking books about. I took a helicopter to Everest, tipped off, had a had a selfie, a diet Cook, got on the helicopter and left. It was beautiful. It was wonderful. Hours like, you know, nobody's read, making a movie about that, writing a book about that, nobody's bragging. There's probably people would brag about it, but that's these people you want to know. I don't want to know these people. The fact is that the journey is a big part of it. And, you know, loving yourself and the journey that you've had and loving yourself to go, let's see how I can make this journey even better. I've had a good journey. I had some good experiences. I'm gonna, I'm gonna love myself to keep going and find even more enjoyable ways to go ahead. So. So basically, you know this Kamal Ravikant discovers that like, Hey, I think if I don't love myself, I'm not going to be alive anymore. And then that was, that was his truth. But the truth is that how you love yourself really is going to dictate the quality of the life that you're going to have, because if you love yourself, you're going to, you're going to, more often than not, give yourself a life that is enjoyable to live. If you don't, you're going to give yourself shit sandwiches, left, right, up, down center. And it's one of the things I look back and recognize all these harmful, you know, self beliefs that I've had about myself, and it's like that explains why things went, how they went, and the more that I've owned that, hey, I'm worthwhile, I'm a lovable person, the more that I've made choices and set boundaries and then made allowances for the things that are helpful and nourishing and things have shifted. Is it all happen overnight? No, does it get better and better? Yes. Does it get easier? Yes. Does it get filled with more amazing people as you go on? Yes, and so what if how you love yourself is the most important thing in almost anything just a month ago, about as within so without talking about self sustainability, your ability to love yourself is a really big important part of your self sustainability, because that's going to fuel you, energize you, give you the lens to see things in a way that are going to make it more enjoyable and energizing to continue doing what it is you want, and you're going to lovingly allow yourself to have what you actually want in a way that you can actually enjoy. Because if you don't like yourself and you get what you want, there's no shortage of ways. And I've, done this so many times. Of like, you know, it's like, oh, I got a best selling novel or book. It's not a novel, but, yeah, best selling book. And my ability to go like, Yeah, but it didn't sell as many copies as I wanted it to. And like, oh, it's only in this one category. And oh, I self published with the hybrid publisher. And so it's not like, if I got published and it wasn't New York, like, there's all these ways to shit on anything amazing that we do yet. What good does that do? What good does that do? Like, again, maybe it makes you do a lot of things, but if you're don't enjoy it, never will enjoy it. What's the point? What is the point of doing all of these things, do all the things, and you're miserable, and you make everyone around you miserable. What who cares? Who cares? Honestly, what matters is, how much are you able to enjoy your experience along the way that really kind of, is it and doing good things and enjoying them. They can go together. They should go together. They're supposed to go together. And so how can you work on loving yourself a little bit more? One is you can go and check out that meditation from Episode 35 about the you know, loving yourself. Meditation the others is just as often as you can, replacing whatever nonsense you're likely thinking about with just the thought, I love myself. I love myself. Like, Oh, that jerk. Just cut me off. I'm driving. I love myself. What's this bill? Oh, I love myself. I love myself. Oh, this broke again. I love myself. Oh, no, it's raining. I love myself. And just see how that starts to allow a little opening, a little air, a little shift in your life, in your vision, and just your whole way of being. And if you really want something really challenging, something really advanced, something incredibly powerful that I don't recommend, I really don't recommend this to most of you. Yet it is so incredibly powerful that if you can do it, this is one of those things like you might want to have a coach, a therapist, a good friend, a clergy person on hand, because this can bring up a lot. So I'm going to advise you to avoid this. Yet I'm going to put this out there as something to be aspirational towards, and that is saying I love myself in the mirror, so look yourself in the mirror. Say I love myself. I love you. I love and say your name again. I'm not don't do this. Avoid this. Definitely don't do this. Start with just one minute, and then each day, maybe add one more minute, and then just once you get to 10 minutes a day, if you just, if you can do that, 10 minutes a day where you can look yourself in the mirror. One to 10 minutes, and they'll say, I love myself. I love you. I love you, man, you're beautiful. Just be with that. Things are gonna shift in you, and boy, is your year gonna shift. If you can, then that person can look at what you've done in the past year, because, again, this really is about doesn't matter what your parents were like, what your siblings were like, what your friends have been like, what your significant others have been like, as awful and as shitty, or as good or as amazing. If you can become the most amazing parent, sibling lover, friend to yourself, and just wait and see what comes at you. Just wait, look at look at what you did in the past year, and then think of how what you want to happen the next year, and just let the magic happen. So this is really about you love yourself. You love your last year, and then love your upcoming year even more. That's the space to start dreaming, to start going, ooh, what could I enjoy? And just allow yourself to just enjoy the vision, enjoy feeling what it might be like for all these things, and recognize you have so much now. You've had so much, you have so much, and that you will continue to have even more, and just let it be. And that's my gift to you. My wish for you this holiday season this Yeah, so just I love you. Thank you for being a listener, and want you to be able to love yourself as much, as much as is possible. So with that love to hear what's maybe been something in the past year that you're just like, fuck. Thank you so much. Justin for asking that question. I'd forgotten that this happened, and yeah, that was an incredible year this past year. So thank you so much. I'd love to hear it. Sent me an email, put a comment on the social media, whatever, and yeah, looking forward to wishing you a Happy New Year, whatever this might be. So with that, thank you and good day. Thanks for tuning in to engineering emotions and energy with Justin Wenck, PhD, today's episode resonated with you. Please subscribe and leave a five star review. Your feedback not only supports the show, but also helps others find us and start their journey of emotional and energetic mastery. You can also help by sharing this podcast with someone you think will love it just as much as you do. Together, we're engineering more amazing lives you you.