Episode 052: What do the holidays look like for you this year? For most, it's looking different that in years past. Change is never easy and this one could be extremely difficult for many. Vonda and Lori share a few tips to help make the best of it and get though this year.
See more at The Business and Pleasure of Flowers
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Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist
Episode 052: What do the holidays look like for you this year? For most, it's looking different that in years past. Change is never easy and this one could be extremely difficult for many. Vonda and Lori share a few tips to help make the best of it and get though this year.
See more at The Business and Pleasure of Flowers
Our sponsors: Flower Clique
Flower Prep School
Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist
Most of, you know, that's not true, but we wanted to just give a few tips to help you find joy in this really hard time,
Speaker 2:Laurie. And just a few days after a busy month of go, go, go taking care of customers day and night, it feels like our shops are going to be shutting down for a day or two. Maybe with a Friday Christmas, they might actually close till Monday and have three days off. Ooh, that would just be an adventure. Wow. Here. So I have a question for you. I was thinking about this because I don't have my Christmas shopping done yet. And I was wondering when you were in the thick of it, owning the store, how did you as a mom, a wife, a daughter in law? I mean, how did you get your shopping then you had the store before internet, didn't you? Oh, you know, we really did. That was before Amazon, for sure. Like, how did you shop, did power shopping? You know, it would be like, okay guys, I'm leaving early today to go out and do some shopping and I maybe would leave at two o'clock in an afternoon and go and do some power shopping. And then I would probably do that twice just so that I would get things done. And it was actually fun. I'm in very much, a last minute shopper. I enjoy you like that. That's your thing. Yeah. Yeah. So would you trade off, would like if your manager had to do it to shoot like a new cover for me today and you go on Tuesday, so you kind of would all have to help each other out? Absolutely. Absolutely. I remember doing shopping on Christmas Eve many times when I worked as an employee at a flower shop and I was always like, Oh, the shops that are open late on Christmas Eve, get people. Those are your people. They are, you know how I've said so many times, I think one of the reasons you and I have such connection is because you are my husband. You're the exact same personality is that last minute shopper, like he said, um, I think I might take this afternoon off and go to Christmas, shopping on Christmas within two days. It's really interesting because I look back and this is the truth. I would get my Christmas bonus on Christmas Eve. I would go home at one o'clock in the afternoon to the department store that was in Nevada, Iowa was called scoters and it had scoters and that was the gutter family. Okay. And they had, and everything from clothes to kids' toys, they had a lot of things and I would go and buy my last minute Christmas gifts, oftentimes right there at scoters blow my whole bonus of course, and grew things for my mom and my dad, mostly my mom and dad and brothers and sisters. Oh my God. Knock it all out in one day. It was. And they, and they wrapped it for me and everything. I mean, I'm in high school at this point. Right. So I'm in high school and I'm like, this is the best and shop local
Speaker 3:Then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there is no more scutters
Speaker 2:There is no more scatters. We do still have the Ben Franklin in town, Nevada, Iowa, but no, scoters
Speaker 3:I missed downtowns. Like I grew up with all the cute stores downtowns, and I can still name every one of them. And of course, none of them are there. I really wish that. And I think some towns are trying to go back to that. I know a lot of our shops are trying to help revitalize their downtown, um, because the flower shop itself is in the downtown. So
Speaker 2:Correct. Yeah. Or they're in shopping centers, which are nice to shopping malls or whatever, and they, of course, flower shops make them so much nicer because they're beautiful.
Speaker 3:Yes. The flower shop that I remember so vividly in my mind was right there in the little strip with all of the little local businesses. So anyway, all right. What are we talking about today
Speaker 2:With the holiday? And you are, you're go, go, go, go. Like I mentioned, now, all of a sudden you stop and now you have time to think, and maybe you're not able to get together with your family, this holiday, or certain people you've always been able to gather with because of COVID and you know, we have to be careful. We all have to be careful and you know, this better than anyone it's too easy to let down your guard right now and say, Oh, it's Christmas. It's nothing's going to happen. Most of you know, that's not true, but we wanted to just give a few tips to help you find joy in this really hard time.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You know, when we were in a group zoom the other day with a lot of our members, that question was over and over and over in the session, owners were wondering two things. Number one, their biggest fear was the holidays are coming up. That means all my employees are going out. You can't control who they are around. You can encourage them to the choices, but, and then they're all going to come back in. So that was one that we kind of tried to dissect. And the only way he could is just to each person share what they're doing, what their policy is. And then we're making this up as we go along, you know? Um, other thing was, and I just saw some more comments about this yesterday, how our shop's handling a delivery to a positive COVID house.
Speaker 2:I saw that to me, it wouldn't make any difference. Really. It was a positive COVID house, or it was a non because I agree
Speaker 3:With the contact less, the list should be your policy should already be contact free. Correct. This particular one was asking like, you know, do you call, do you put your delivery driver in that situation? And like you just said, people were saying, well, the delivery driver, if they're saying I'm going to, I'm fine. Delivering. There's really no way to know that. Cause you're not always going to know if there's a positive COVID patient in the house or not.
Speaker 2:The biggest challenge right now that they were discussing is because of the freezing situations, because the flowers have to be wrapped and you can't leave them on the doorstep. That's why you do have to text or call when the driver's in the driveway, you would just text or call and say, okay, I'm here. I'm going to leave it at the door. I'm going to ring the doorbell and go in. So it was great
Speaker 3:Responses. Yeah. And I'm like fascinated because some of these questions that they're putting out there and we're getting all of these answers, I'm like, man, this time last year, you never thought you'd be asking this question. Right. Right. Exactly. So it's so crazy. But anyway, you're going to have at least a couple of days, like you said, a free time for me, I'm using air quotes. No one can see me, but you, but I'm free time. How are you going to feel once you're in that time? So that's kind of what we were going to talk about right now.
Speaker 2:Right? Exactly. And I think one of the biggest things is give yourself permission to feel what you feel. Yeah. Sometimes you're going to be sad. You might be disappointed, but you've got to feel those. You can't just go, Oh no, no, no, no. That I shouldn't be feeling that. Right. It's okay. It's okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah. No, I agree. And I just to even elaborate that on a little bit, I think we all know when we have those feelings, most of us, our first thought is, Oh, I don't want to upset any else in the room or I don't want to make anyone feel like there's anything wrong. So we live in that world of I'm fine. I'm fine. No, really I'm fine. And that's not healthy either. So what I've learned, at least in my life, when I'm having those kinds of feelings, have some people that you trust and love that can sit with you in those feelings. Even if it's virtual. I mean, you and I do this at least once a week. Right. We don't always have an answer for the other person, but we let you vent or cry or yell or whatever you need. And then you're like, okay, now let's get to work. Exactly. Yeah. It's okay.
Speaker 2:And my mother said years ago, it's okay to be sad and disappointed and have all those feelings, but only give yourself, she would say five minutes. I only have five minutes and then pick yourself back up because it doesn't join a good to stay in that state of mind. Yeah,
Speaker 3:Exactly. It's well, what's that it's a little, same, you know it, it's okay to talk about the past
Speaker 2:Live there. Right?
Speaker 3:Focus on don't let that be your main focus. So you got to look, look forward because we can't control anything that has happened in the past
Speaker 2:And a good way to get through that. You know, so here I'm feeling like, Oh my gosh, I'm so sad. I can't do this. I can't do that. Then turn around and find the gratitude. What are you thankful for? What is the good that you're thankful for? But you had good business. This year is healthy. Or if they're not healthy, you're thankful that you're surrounded by people who love you. Um, it's really difficult for people who have really lost someone this year and then can't get together with anybody else. I mean, my heart absolutely hurts for those, for those people.
Speaker 3:I can't imagine when I got up this morning and walked in to get my coffee, my husband was already in there. And of course he turns the morning news on every morning, which is fine, but I, I kinda tune it out. But I was reading the ticker that goes along the bottom. And I saw a statistic that said at this very moment in the state of California, two people are dying of Corona virus every hour. Wow. It was funny because as I was walking into the kitchen, I was thinking, Oh, I'm going to do a podcast this morning. And it's going to be about gratitude and how to get through things. And I was thinking all these positive things and I looked over and that's the first thing I read. And my heart I'm like, ha, those families that are having the loved ones that are passing away. I just, it's hard to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, right. For them. I would imagine. Yeah,
Speaker 2:It is. It is very difficult. The best thing to do at that point is to have those memories embrace the memories of the good times. Try to set and give yourself permission to be sad, but then say, well, let me set here and recall some really great times head with right. My mom, my dad, right.
Speaker 3:Uncle. Yeah. What about the, I mean, and I know we're getting a little dark on that, but what about the grief that a shop owner would have right now of this is not how I wanted to do the holidays, sadness and mad, you know, just frustration. I think that's okay.
Speaker 2:You have every right. Totally agree. You certainly do it. That's really a good point, Laurie, because you would, you were coming down off of that and you're like, man, that's not what I wanted, but I think we're all like that. This is not the holiday we've expected.
Speaker 3:No, no, we absolutely did not expect it. But I know so many shops that have always done great open houses and successful ones. Now I know a lot of shops don't because they end up costing more than they're worth. But we, we have some flower cook members that man, it is their thing and they, no one does it better. Right. They weren't able to do them this year. And they had to make all of these different changes or maybe they didn't have all of the inventory that they usually have. And so I think it's okay to be frustrated with that. But the thing you have to remember is it's just change. And at some point we're going to be the instigator of change or a recipient of something that's changed. We have no other choice, right. It's going to happen. So just maybe embrace it, just embrace it.
Speaker 2:And this is the time you definitely want to connect with people. That's another really important way to get through a holiday when maybe you're a down a little bit or you're not with the people you love, thank goodness for technology, right. With FaceTime or Skype or zoom. Right. Super easy to feel connected across the miles. Now I know it doesn't replace the hug and the kiss, you know, but at least you can see facial expressions and laugh with somebody cry with somebody.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You know, I, I was reading one of my mini articles that I don't even know where I find them, but they were talking about during this time embrace the solitude. Don't fear it. Especially someone like me who was such in normal extrovert. Like I thrive on the energy of other people. Right. This has been, gosh, this has been so hard for me, but I've learned a lot about myself because I've had to be alone with Laurie Wilson. And I'm like at first gosh, she got on my nerves really got on my own nerves so badly, but it's okay because it's just for a season. Right. Right.
Speaker 2:Exactly. And that was one of the quotes I saw. It's important to focus on enjoying the holidays.
Speaker 3:Exactly. Exactly. We all are because we have no choice. So embrace it.
Speaker 2:Right. We have no choice. We are not in control you. And I talk about that a lot about what we can control and what we cannot control. And this is something we really have no control over. I was reading something not long ago as well is the people who are getting COVID are the people who are letting their guard down, which I thought was really interesting. Yes. You know, the whole mask, anti mask, whatever. But when you let your guard down and you quit washing your hands, or you forget about social distancing, you're letting your guard down.
Speaker 3:I agree. And the thing is, we're not saying that with judgment, we've all let our guard down. And I got it. It just is what it is. Just be here.
Speaker 2:We just want everybody to have a healthy holiday season. Right? The other thing that often helps get through and studies will show this is whenever you're sad or down, find something funny. Yeah. Humor gets through so much. It just helps lift your spirits. Whether it's a funny movie you can put on.
Speaker 3:What I think is always therapeutic is if you're in a grief state or sadness or missing a loved one during that time, thinking of the funny stories about that person, I was raised with funny parents. I was last, you know, I've told you, my husband will tell you the first time he met them, they had him sit down on a whoopee cushion. And he didn't know it. I mean, that's how my parents were. I didn't know that my parents, you never knew where a whoopee cushion would be in my house. You just never knew if you were going to sit down. But if you've been there enough, you knew to slowly, like I would check for them. I also was raised walking down a hall at any moment, someone's going to jump out and scare you at any moment around any corner. You never knew. So that was traumatizing to me. Right. But the funny part is I would be freaking out whoever it was scaring, whether it was my mom or dad or sister or brother, they would be on the floor rolling, laughing. I didn't care that they traumatized me. So did you do that to your children? Not as much. My sister did because she felt so much humor. Again, I was traumatized by it. I'm like, you know how you always read about kids checking under their bed for monsters. Right. I literally have checked under my bed as a child and there was a sibling or a parent under there waiting to scare me.
Speaker 2:Gosh, that is so funny, Lori. That is so funny.
Speaker 3:I was raised in some weird twisted humor. So I think when tragedy hits or when I'm grief stricken, when I'm sad, what helps me is thinking of other moments like that. Yeah. True, true racking up. Because I remember how joyful those twisted people were. Uh, goodness.
Speaker 2:I think my mother hugging a tree. My mom was a tree hugger and she was a girl scout leader. I'm like, why do you hug a tree? And she goes, no, no, no, come over here, hug the tree. And I'm like, look at all the branches that come from that and look at the beauty and blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, I'm like, okay.
Speaker 3:I love that though. Taking time to find beauty in things that we've never taken the time to look at before, you know, I was sharing with you last week at my doctor's appointment, you know how I was telling you, they're so different now. And everyone's so spread out and nobody can come in with anyone. So it's all of us different people sitting around and you have your mask on. And usually I really went to doctors before I got COVID. But those times it's, I don't really notice the waiting room, but I've started noticing it's so much more. And I think I spent 30 minutes telling you the play by play of every character in that room. And I was so entertained and I thought, okay, so here's a blessing I can look at and say, I now look at the doctor's office waiting rooms differently. And I'm so entertained by each person's story. Try to talk through the mask from across the room, just to have conversation. Hey, we'll engage. I'll talk to you, stranger. It's just a different feeling. And I know not everybody is embracing it that way, but I actually enjoyed my hour long. Wait,
Speaker 2:No money.
Speaker 3:Because again, I can't control when they're going to call my name. Right. And I used to get so uptight because I'm thinking I've got emails and I've got phone calls and I, this is such a waste. I can't control that anymore. Right. That's okay. Flower clicks survived without me. Wow. Barely, barely. But I'm like, why do we think the world's going to stop if we don't? So
Speaker 2:I think we'll do a podcast on that. Some of that we've learned. That's another, I know that some other podcasts.
Speaker 3:Okay. So the last thing you wanted to talk about really, as far as ways to handle the weird feelings that we're having during these times is walk away, give yourself a minute, take a walk,
Speaker 2:Go outside, get some fresh air if you can, unless it's below zero, but yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:What those Ellie and I were talking about this the other day. Remember when we were at, I can't remember if it was SAF or AIF D it was one of those conventions and the three of us. And I brought my bottle of peppermint oil. Do you remember this? When we were feeling like, uh, we would put a drop in our hands and we would rub our hands together for like five seconds as fast as you can. And then you remember, you've take a deep breath. I'm bringing the peppermint up because when I think of going outside and below freezing and taking a super deep breath, I think, wow, that's kind of like when we sniffed the peppermint oils, but there is something about that. There really is. Yeah. That fresh ice cold air or the peppermint going from your head all the way down to your toes. Yeah. I like to think of it as putting myself in timeout.
Speaker 2:You put your kids in time out for a minute.
Speaker 3:I think it's okay for us to put ourselves in time out because the whole point of it is to sit and kind of think about how am I going to react to this situation. Do I need to own anything in this situation?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. That's true. So let's just recap. I know that everybody is busy today, so that we're going to wrap this up quickly and we'll just start with that. Walk away, walk away, take a deep breath. And then it's okay to give yourself permission to feel, to feel whatever it is you're feeling
Speaker 3:Exactly. Um, the other one is trying to look for the silver lining, you know, just for something to be grateful for. Even if it's a funny elderly man in the waiting room of the doctor, like if we look hard enough, we will find it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. When you go back to that funny shop owners, I'm sure there have been some really funny situations this last month with a customer or the way people are wearing their masks when they come in and you have to have them pull them up or just little things that have happened this last month. Try to recall that because I'm sure we've had some great laughs in the flower shop. I'm sure you have this month too. So try to
Speaker 3:Right. Um, connect whatever that word means. Now, whether it's through zoom or FaceTime or maybe you have, like, I know Vonda, you have a little COVID circle, you know, a group of people that are all isolating very, very small. And I think that's healthy. I'll stay connected with those people text. I have never, in my life been on more group texts with groups of people all the way down from elementary school, all the way up through college that almost daily, somebody texts in one of those, you know, almost so I'm like, hello, I have to work. So it's right. Exactly. But it makes me feel good. Like I am connecting with those people.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. They are. So we just say, give yourself the gift of allowing yourself, these things, the connections, the funny, the gratitude. And it's okay to feel what you're feeling. And we hope everybody has a very blessed and Merry Christmas.
Speaker 3:Me too. Merry Christmas, everyone.
Speaker 4:We have certainly enjoyed our time together today. And we look forward to being with you guys again, if you have any questions, concerns, comments, anything we would love to hear from you. You can always email Laurie at flower, click.com. Also, if you enjoy our little podcast, go ahead and click that subscribe button. That's very helpful for us. And you can even leave a review and we hope you join us next week. Yes. So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.
Speaker 1:[inaudible].