Episode 067: Being a leader takes a lot of hard work and dedication, at the same time you're faced with some tough challenges. Trying to keep it positive and not let the known or unknown challenge control your mood or cause misplaced anger is tough. Vonda and Lori share stories and tips for a leader (or anyone!) to use to best cope with challenges.
FlowerPrepSchool
SalesPrepSchool
Flower Clique
The Business and Pleasure of Flowers
Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist
Episode 067: Being a leader takes a lot of hard work and dedication, at the same time you're faced with some tough challenges. Trying to keep it positive and not let the known or unknown challenge control your mood or cause misplaced anger is tough. Vonda and Lori share stories and tips for a leader (or anyone!) to use to best cope with challenges.
FlowerPrepSchool
SalesPrepSchool
Flower Clique
The Business and Pleasure of Flowers
Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist
It's so many times people live in the world of being reactive. Yes. The fire is already started. You got to put it out, right. Welcome to the business and pleasure of flowers. We're your hosts. Fondel of fever and Lori Wilson. And we believe that business and Fen are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Wanda.
Speaker 2:So Laurie, this week has brought all new challenges to my job here at flower clerk, new challenges, because I feel like every week you have new challenges right now with what there are, but Audrey is gone this week. So now I'm trying to figure out all the stuff that Audrey has been doing. And it's been such a great job that she's done on these flower bundles and the sympathy or the celebration of life books. And yes. Yeah. So anyway, it's been very interesting and new challenges and actually kind of fun, but it is a challenge and we face those challenges every day. Well, I think the two of us, since her, her emails are forwarded to me, which make no sense because I just have to send them to you. Cause I don't know how to interact stuffy. I mean, it's so out of my element, but I think you and I both have learned a couple of things. Number one, we don't want her job. Like no one can do it. Like Audrey and number two, we couldn't have flower click without her. Right, right. Yeah. We need her. It's just so many. I thought I got a lot of emails, but Oh, I get the fun ones. Like, Hey, call me. I want to talk. Okay. That's a great I, but hers are like, so bullet point detailed. I can't follow him. So can you, we love you if you're listening. That's right. So you also have some other challenges going on. I know when this airs, it will the Tuesday after Easter, but right now we're recording a few days before. So you've got some people come in. Oh yes. I have some, some guests coming for Easter. So that's pretty exciting. That's a challenge because you try to balance getting your house ready and get ready and continue to record a podcast and run a business, right? Yes. Yeah. Just a few little things, but you're good at juggling way. Our boy, you know, it's kinda moving moment and I feel like juggling is a really good description to talk about all of the flower shops we've been talking to right now. And they are juggling a lot. They are juggling a lot. And so today I thought it was important that we talk about being a leader
Speaker 3:And how a leader addresses and copes with those challenges and how, when you do that, it affects your whole team. Not just you, you know, so many times people get so upset and their mood gets out of control and then they could get angry. And then that misplaced anger goes into the employees, which really upsets the whole shop or the whole culture of your business. Right. Right. You know,
Speaker 2:That's interesting that you said that because I was talking to a shop earlier this week and the owner, she was saying, I feel really bad because I barked for lack of a better word from my employees. She said, but I'm doing this. I need some privacy for an hour. She was working with like an accountant or doing whatever she needed to no interruption. Okay. And there's always times right in our world, like, I'll turn off my notifications or like, I need to focus on this task and get it done. And so she said that to her two employees were out front. She was very clear. And yet, somehow it was not communicated. Well, I don't know if they just chose not to he anyway. So both of them at different times walked in. And so she got upset and rightly so, it's just compiled. She's an amazing leader. But again, there are so many challenges right now she's trying to figure out how to get her flowers, make sure she's staffed. Like who could, you know, who can do what? And she was focusing on that. So that's kind of what we're talking about. Where's our breaking point and how do we manage right below that. So we have,
Speaker 3:Yeah. And I don't think it's really breaking point. I think it's just, you know, taking that you're a leader because you're a business owner. So you're a leader. If you're the manager, you're the leader. If you're just a team leader in a certain position, you know, people look up to you and listen to you they're leaders and even for your mom or your dad or a leader. Yes. But with that being a leader carries responsibility and coping is part of it. Right. So right now, as, as we were saying, the business owners are working really hard. What you could be in a restaurant business owner and you're working like your tail off, but weren't you just going to talk about flower shops and like you just were talking about it's, it's tough. There's a lot of anxiety and we have to watch the way we react to all of those things that are going on.
Speaker 2:No, you're right. You know, when we started doing our podcasts for 2021, one of the things that we said we were going to try to bring to the table every week is kind of, what's trending in the industry. And right now what's trending. Is it necessarily positive? It's a challenge. It is. And it's, it's finding flowers. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Flower shortages. It's high prices. It's projections in business. Like what are we going to expect this year? Based on what we did last year or a couple of years ago. So it's all those things that they're looking at those challenges and really knowing how to cope with them. And it's kind of personal because we all have triggers. Right.
Speaker 2:Right. Right. Well, just like the shop, I was just saying that was her trigger because I specifically said I need an hour because she was on a meeting. Like it was legit. I would've been mad too, but that was her trigger. Yeah. And it's knowing those
Speaker 3:Triggers. I mean, we have to know our triggers, but we also have to know our triggers of what makes us happy because sometimes if we can go, okay, this is triggering me and I need
Speaker 2:Pause. Yeah. What is it that can get me back into my happy space. Yeah. Yeah. That reminds me of, you know, when our kids were little, you put them in timeout. You're not supposed to spank them anymore, but you put them in timeout. And I remember doing that with all three of my kids and what I started realizing is putting them in time out. It also gave me a bit of a timeout to really process and think through, okay, you know, let's, he's going to be in there for two minutes. That gives me two minutes to kind of, he triggered me or she triggered me like, how am I going to react? And I actually was a better parent when they went to time out and I went to time out. Right. You know? And sometimes I would say, Hey, mommy needs to go to time out. They're like, Oh, Ooh. They thought I did something bad. And I was like, I don't care what they think I did. I made time out like, right.
Speaker 3:No, that's, that's a really good point. Laurie,
Speaker 2:The whole psychology behind timeout is for them to sit in there and think, you know, I'm in here because I did this. What would I do differently next time? Now I know a four year old isn't going to process that way. But we time out, still works for us as adults. Right. And so we do pause, timeout, move forward. I read something the other day about pausing and being silent in the silence. You know how a lot of people I can get that way, especially when I'm nervous, I hate silence. But it said, you know what? Silence is the noise that thinking makes. And so can't really think through, well, if we're not silent, like I can't think through a process while I'm having a conversation with somebody else. I can't think there's something else. So anyway, I liked that. It's one of my lope, you know, I loved my post-it notes. I wrote it down on post-it note of, you know, what silence is the noise that thinking
Speaker 3:That's really good. Matthew Kelly, um, as an author that I read several of his books and he talks about sitting in the classroom of silence, which I think is really perfect. It's really good.
Speaker 2:It's, it's thinking right. You're thinking in classrooms.
Speaker 3:So I love it. I love it with the challenges going on. Um, and everybody being a leader and taking that and kind of going, you know, what lesson have I learned over the years? And I wanted to go back Lori and talk about my dad because it was a really good lesson. I mean, I learned a lot of lessons that we're going to have to do a whole podcast on this. Sometime dad lessons, dad's lessons, I think really could do a great one on this. Yeah, that would be good. But my dad was a really hard worker. I mean, he was a leader in our family or we made them think so. Right. Isn't that what? Yeah, but he worked really hard. And after being a loyal employee for many years, he bought the business. So he would get up early in the morning, 3:00 AM really? And then he would be home in time for supper. He was super proud of what he did. He treated, people were three specked and people respected him after working a long, hard day. He never came home and like was mean, right. I mean, he didn't misplace that anger. He was tired and sometimes he was crouchy, but it wasn't at us, you know? So did I ever tell you what my dad did for a living? No. What? My dad was a garbage man really? And today it's more glorious. You could say he was a sanitation engineer. Haitian engineer.
Speaker 2:Yes. Yes. But yeah,
Speaker 3:The garbage man, but my point for today is that even with just you think, okay, well that's it, but no brainer kind of job. No, it, it was a lot. And he had to cope with a lot of challenges
Speaker 2:Process. Do you think, do you think he had people that he had collaboration with or con conversations with? Or did he talk with your mom about it? Like how did he process his challenges?
Speaker 3:I had some people who were in the same business who are actually competitors and he would collaborate with them. They would have monthly meetings. And so there was a lot of collaboration on how to offer the best service and what prices you should charge and, and those types of things. But my dad's biggest challenge was when a truck would break down because on a garbage route, the most important thing you have our employees, which we are like in a flower shop, right. And our truck, which has lets us servicings or what we need to do to run our business, which I like flowers today. So it's employees and flowers, which is exactly what our shops are going through right now. So my dad's truck would break down. And so he wouldn't come home at night. He would be trying to work on the truck because he was a self-taught mechanic. And so he would fix the truck. That's where I get my fix and stuff. Well, this is where you get your mojo, your
Speaker 2:Own, my own company. I mean you, everything that's so cool.
Speaker 3:So the employees had some knowledge, so they would stick by him side-by-side and you know, help him fix the truck that they could. My dad didn't drink. So we knew he wasn't there at night. That was not, that wasn't anything he did. So, but they were trying to fix a truck. And I do remember at times that they could not get apart. They couldn't get the part. He would come home really frustrated because they said it was going to be a day or two days before they could get that truck up and running again. So what did he do? So think of that. How happy are you when your garbage man haul?
Speaker 2:There's a thing, you know, those very, very few times that like, maybe they missed your garbage or, you know, it's happened. It's probably my fault. It's on the wrong side. Now they have so many rules. It has to be on a certain side of the road, but we freak out. We freak out and they end up coming back. So that would be tough because your truck is broken. You legitimately cannot go and get the trash.
Speaker 3:He would be creative, which is a way to meet your challenges. If he knew it was going to be two days before he got the part in, he would call a competitor and ask if he could borrow their truck after they were done with their route. And then they would use the fellow competitors truck to pick up the trash and to make sure it gets done. If it was going to be just today, he would go to the neighborhoods of where he would pick up the trash, because this was way before social media. Right. Cause he had a few favorite customers or favorite people and say, you know what, I'm going to be a day off. I will be here, let the neighbors know. So it was kind of interesting, um, the way the culping was back then. And it does really remind me a lot of what we're going through right now with, with the flowers in the flower shop.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure. What I love about that story is he had to collaborate with other people that own the same kind of a business. And if you'll remember when we did the podcast with Renee Tucci last year, that was one of the things. When I heard goals, you know, in growing her brand and her business, she's like, I want our community to understand. We need to come together and collaborate during these kinds of times, we don't need to be enemies like there's space for everyone. And that's one of the things I love about our flower click members. We don't have many that are in the same area because we don't do that. Right. We don't want them to be, but we do have some that maybe are in a town over or whatever. I love how they collaborate and share ideas and information. Um, because they're all have
Speaker 3:I have the same challenges they do. Absolutely. And with those same challenges, the solutions aren't always the same. Right. You know, the collaboration helps them go, you know what? That won't work for me. But maybe if I do this, it, it sparks something that makes you take it one step further and find another solution. Right. Right.
Speaker 2:One of my favorite, I always say one of my favorite parts of my job and you know, I, that's the thing, every part of my job that, that has interaction with our flower click members is really my favorite because it's fun. I love having. And so what's great is they'll call, like I had one this morning. That's why I was late to our recording saying, Hey, I know there's a lot of flower challenges and blah, blah, blah. I wanted to share with you. Here's some things I'm doing. Feel free to share it with the rest of the members.
Speaker 3:Oh gosh. Yeah, no. She's pro active
Speaker 2:Calling me to say, Hey, this is what's working for me right now. If you think there's value there, feel free to share it. Have him call me if they need more details. I'm happy to like, love, love makes my heart so happy.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And that's what it's about. Right. We had a list of ways to help get through these challenges. Right. Because we know the challenges are there. One of them is being proactive regardless of the situation, leaders need to do something. Be proactive. Yeah. That's what she was doing. And you're always proactive. Lori, you are so proactive. You're listening, um, in every direction and going, okay, all right, what can we do to help? And let's be proactive. That's why we're sending out an email that says, say this, not that. Right.
Speaker 2:Right. Right. And so many times people live in the world of being reactive. Yes. The fire is already started and you got put it out, right? Like your story about the fire guy. But if we can have the extinguisher ready and available, or maybe not plug in 25 things to one thing, that's going to create the fire.
Speaker 3:Right. Being proactive. Right. Yep. That is exactly another way to be proactive is be creative. Right. We're looking at what are those solutions? And I know you had a member shares some, some creative solutions this morning. You all know how to be creative. And there are creative solutions out there. Whatever you're going through, we're going through this right now. There's going to be another challenge coming up in the summer. And then after that, I mean every holiday in this business, there is a challenge.
Speaker 2:Yup. Yup. I agree. And I think every business owner you have to look at, okay. Number one, what's my capacity. You know, what can I do with what I have? And then you got to be okay if you run out, you run out. It's okay. It's not going to be the end of the world.
Speaker 3:We're not going to run out. We might not have the exact flow we want, there will be flowers. It will, might not be what you had planned on having right there. And that's why we have that say this, not that right?
Speaker 2:Yeah. No, I agree. Well, and it, it goes back to even our sales prep school that we just launched, we say over and over the key to getting through any of these challenges is to be upfront and honest with your customer. Yep. Makes sense. No. And say, Hey, is the color what you need that you love about this? Or is it the specific rows with which one is most important to you? Because it's going to be beautiful. But I can't guarantee right now, bill a fever said something the other day that I thought was such good advice for a shop owner about be very careful in blame.
Speaker 3:Yes. You don't want to blame your wholesaler or your supplier about the flowers. You're like, it's so easy to say, well, I couldn't get those Myra roses because wholesale, I couldn't get them to me or because my supplier couldn't get them to me. You know, what does that say about you as a shop owner? Right? Your customer's just going to say, well, geez, you pick the wrong wholesaler. Right. Don't throw him under a bus. I mean, that's just saying that you made bad choices in where you're procuring your flowers. Instead of just saying, you know what, I'm really sorry. They're not available. They didn't come in. Like they should.
Speaker 2:Well, the other thing, it kind of puts in the customer's mind if I call and they say that I'm thinking, Oh, well I'll just call the competitor. They probably haven't. They probably have a different wholesaler. Right. So you're losing a sale actually. But if come around and say, ah, you know what, there's a shortage right now on this specific flower. But what we can do is this because when you keep it general, they're realizing, Oh, that shortage is everywhere. It's not just your store. You're going to lose that sale.
Speaker 3:You're exactly right now. It's the way you say things. It really is Ori and throwing somebody else under a bus. Never works. No, whether it's your wholesale or whether it's an employee, you know,
Speaker 2:It does sometimes feel good. It does. Sometimes it doesn't, but it's not the right thing to do. I get it. I get it. But I will say I've done it anyway. We'll move on. We'll move on to another podcast.
Speaker 3:Yes. The bus podcast, right?
Speaker 2:Uh, let's see. Vonda number three is, well, this is easier said than done to you is face conflict square on. Right. And so many of us would rather just kind of ignore it and pretend it's not really there, but the problem is it is there and it has to be dealt with,
Speaker 3:Or it festers and gets worse.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, that too, that, that that's the thing. So you have to hit it square on, even though it feels awkward, whether it's with an employee or with, you know, your lack of flowers or with a customer or a pride. So, you know, the other thing that I've noticed, I'm getting lots of conversations with shops that are so worried about the summer weddings, that the contracts were signed six months ago, seven months ago. And they're worried about the cost again, have that hard conversation right now with that bride and set expectations. You've got to hit it square on and you gotta be honest because you know, somewhere in the contract it has said, you know, prices can vary, but you got to give them a heads up. It is gonna vary.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And hopefully you're not selling your weddings by certain number of flowers because that's never good. You know, you shouldn't say 12 roses, this and that. So you do have flexibility of that. Right. But you're right. Control the expectations, you know, be upfront with them. Don't let them know the day before that they're not going to get what they ordered. Right. You know, I'm so excited. Your weddings coming up, we want you to know that we have a few challenges, getting those specific flowers we discussed, you know, kind of let them know of a few things that to be aware of and it's all going to be okay. And then reassure them.
Speaker 2:Yup. Exactly.
Speaker 3:And then remain objective. You've got to be objective.
Speaker 2:I always think of the old saying, here's the deal. You know, people say that all the time, but I really, for real, here's the deal. Here's your parameters. Here's what you have to work with. You can sit around and complain and whine and be bitter about it. Or you can go, all right, that's all I got. Let's move forward. And that's what you do. That's how you're going to keep your business going and growing for now. Yep.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely. And then this one we already talked about, look for those opportunities to collaborate.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I think a lot of shops are scared to reach out to other flower shops. And it makes me really sad because I haven't yet. And I know I haven't been around as long as you have, but I have yet to talk to a shop owner who isn't okay with talking to another shop owner about the industry. Like I think they use, you know, again, something I do, I'll have a conversation with a member and I'm like, Oh my gosh, I just talked to somebody out on the West coast. That's doing this. I'm going to hook you up. I get the introduction. I'm that little flower click matchmaker. And they become best friends and I love it. And it makes me happy. So, but don't be afraid to do that. Reach out if you see something on someone else's website that you're loving. And you're curious about call that owner. Everybody loves to brag about what they're doing. Well, you know, so it's okay. Look for those opportunities. I think one danger zone that I feel there's a lot of private groups you'll want to be careful in a lot of those because they can become very negative and bitter, like we were saying, and it can be a toxic place for a lot of us.
Speaker 3:So it really can be. And then you start smiling.
Speaker 2:Yes. And it's a whole doomsday. You're like, Oh my gosh, I'm getting an, and so just don't go there in, in your head because you got to be focused on growing your business with what you have.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. Lori. And that's why you are so good at our flower click private groups. And like, you, you always say, this is a safe space, safe space for you to say what you want. And everybody here, it knows you're doing it with love.
Speaker 2:Right. Right. And you know me because I was a teacher, I have no problem texting or calling a member if, if they posted something and I'm like, you know what? I think they're just in a bad mood. And I, I mentioned to them, do we need that on there? Is that something that you could think about maybe re remove it. And I've actually had a couple of people go. I know I was, you know, and they Rue it cause it's not helping anyone. I'm all in. If you write in, Oh my gosh, how would you deal with this? I have an angry, that's fine. But when it's something that's just bitter and it's like, I don't know. It makes me sad. I'll have a one-on-one counseling appointment with if they'll remove it. So
Speaker 3:The next one is to reach out if you're facing internal challenges, you know, sometimes we are hesitant to reach out for help. If we're feeling like, Oh man, I really need somebody to talk to. I need somebody. It's not a collaboration thing. It's something a real personal deep, whether it's problem or just a pain, you just need to make sure you're reaching out to the right people who can help you. You just have to have somebody that you can really rely on who, yeah.
Speaker 2:Whether it's a mentor or just a friend, I was thinking of your story about your dad. And that's kind of why I was asking, you know, he had people in his group, but I'm sure they did collaborate on ideas, but they, they all had empathy for one another. They literally knew what each other was dealing with. So you want to find somebody that has a little bit of that empathy. It's keeping all of that inside. Number one, you feel so alone and isolated, number two, it starts affecting you physically. You know, I think my dad was a whole different thing. He was an assistant superintendent. He was always, always out doing meetings and this and that. And always, he suffered from horrible migraines that would, I remember as a child, that back then they put you in the hospital. Right. They don't put you in a hospital right now because everything's outpatient, but it would be in the hospital for days. And I believe 100%, it was stress-related because you're in a bit of a limelight sort of, you know, in that. And you gotta be super careful who you trust.
Speaker 3:Well, you have to be isolated sunlight unless right. Another superintendent, two or three towns over you've been talk to.
Speaker 2:Right. Right. And principals, and you know, all of the people that he interacted with, you know, his greatest memories is when they would go away for like principal meetings, administrative or meetings out of town. Yep. Because you can be real and you didn't worry about small town people looking around saying, Oh, he's, you know, that kind of thing. So he didn't have that. And I'll tell you, since he's retired, he's been retired for many years. He doesn't have headaches anymore, ever stress. I know.
Speaker 3:Isn't that crazy? Yeah.
Speaker 2:You guys have somebody to talk to because it doesn't manifest inside of us physically and it's just not
Speaker 3:Healthy. Yeah. And then make sure you have a personal time. I think that that's the last one on our list. And I think it's super important that first of all, time could be exercise for yourself to just take care of yourself, you know, spend time with your child, spend time with your loved one. You've got to have that time for yourself.
Speaker 2:Yep. I always think that we're all full glasses of water and all day long or pouring out a little bit here a little bit there a little bit here, a little bit to our kids, a little bit to our customers a little bit, you know? And by the end of the day, we're empty. We're dehydrated like physically and emotionally. You've got to have some time to go get that filled back up. Yeah. And that looks different for everybody. Figure out what fills your cup. Right. So that you can be ready pour back out the next day. We love that. Lori. I love that. You too. I'm just kind of came up with that. You're so good in my brain. So, okay. Vonda, we need to wrap it up. What is inspiring you right now? I think just that this weekend is Easter. I know by the time this airs it'll be now I have to restate her, but I love Easter. I do too. It brings so much new hope and spring colors and family. And so I don't know if this is inspiring me or it has inspired me. Um, but it also, I'm a little nervous. So, you know, I just got my second COVID vaccine. Yes. So my husband and I have it, my aunt and uncle who live close by that, we can't see, they have it. My cousin has, so we are getting together Sunday, my aunt Barbara's house, it's been over a year and I'm sure we're going to eat out doors. Cause again, we're Houston. So it can be nice that I am in charge of bringing the deviled eggs, which is a big deal. It is a big deal. I don't, I'm a little scared because my uncle Danny has always made the deviled eggs and I'm like pressure. And I texted her and I was like, Amper, are you sure? She's like, yes, you can be. So I'll keep you posted. I would have just selected flowers. If I were you, I'm going to bring flowers to do our local. We had like a really cute little store flower shop that has opened close by and I'm going to go over there. Cause I'm thinking I'm going to surprise her with that. That's so nice flowers. So anyway, so flowers and devil thigs flowers and deviled eggs. But again, so the pressure's on though because the entire family, we love deviled eggs, love them. So we'll have to hear how that goes. Yes. I'll keep you posted.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the business and pleasure of flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa, we look forward to seeing you next week. So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life in business.[inaudible].