Lessons Learned from Dad: Happy Father's Day!

Episode 077:  All of us have memories of special times with our Dad. In honor of Father's Day, Vonda and Lori have asked Ellie LaFever to join to share a special memory and one life changing lesson they have learned from their Dad. Reminisce with the gals and you might find yourself with a similar lesson that will be sure to bring a smile to your face.

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Transcript

Vonda: 0:04

A father holds his daughter's hand for just a short while, but he holds her heart forever happy father's day for all you fathers out there, welcome to the business and pleasure of flowers. We're your hosts, Vonda LaFever And Lori Wilson. And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda, Hey, miss Lori how is it going today,

Lori: 0:37

it's going well, the sun is shining, so I'm excited. And I see another little happy face. We have, we have a guest.

Ellie: 0:45

Hello, everybody, Ellie here.

Vonda: 0:47

And we are all here in honor of father's day. We want to talk a little bit about dad, right? Yeah.

Lori: 0:54

Yeah. So when we got to be together face to face last week, which was super fun. Um, and we were talking about what we were going to do on the podcast this week. And I think you were like, well, it's father's day, which thank you for the reminder Vonda, you were like, let's talk about memories. Let's talk about what did, what did we learn from our dads? And we each had a little bit different perspective, right? Yeah.

Vonda: 1:18

We really did. You know, we're all women run business, but there's no doubt that our very first man in our lives need a little bit of impact. Right, right, right, right. Exactly. So what we thought would be fun is to share a little bit of stories about how our dads maybe raised us and then what we still, you know, how we see our dads in ourselves as we go. So who wants to start by sharing a memory of their daddy?

Ellie: 1:47

I will start. Okay.

Lori: 1:49

Good Ellie. Okay.

Ellie: 1:51

So as most people know, I was raised in the flower shop with two loving parents, one being Vonda, who was the creative, the florist and the other, my father, who was the businessman. And so I got a great perspective from both sides. I definitely lean more creative, I think, but my father was a member of rotary, the rotary club, right? Yes. And he would have lunch every Friday at rotary. And during the summer, he always wanted me to go with him so I did. And not many kids went, but he would bring me along on Fridays during the summer when I was off school. And I really got a good sense of, to me, you know, even though we lived in a small town, it was like all of these important business people getting together. There were women in heels and men in blazers that are getting off work from office. It really gave me that perspective. You know, obviously in the flower shop, things are a little casual, they're hectic, they're creative, you know, it's just kind of you're in that world. But when you step outside as a eight year old, 10 year old and you sit down and you're treated like an adult at the table, and you're talking about important business topics and there's a speaker and all of those things, it gave me a good perspective of maybe, you know, who I wanted to be when I grew up and how to act as a, as a business woman, all those things. I just have a really fond memory of going there with him and really being treated like an adult. He treated me, you know, just like everyone else in the room. And, um, so that's my memory pretty special summer summer memories.

Vonda: 3:48

Pretty Cool. And not only did your dad treat you like an adult when you were at rotary, all the Rotarians did too, right. He would treat you like an adult because you were there as a guest, not as a child.

Ellie: 4:03

That's right. And then fast forward to my high school years, we worked a lot with them when I was in high school. And when I was about to graduate high school, I gave a speech in front of everybody as to why I was deserving of a scholarship for college. And so it kind of came full circle. Like I was dressed up, I was in heels and I was talking to everybody. Um, so it just gave me that perspective to fast forward and, and make it happen. Wow.

Lori: 4:31

That's very cool. You've kind of always been like, both your parents have kind of treated you like an adult for putting us in those situations because I have always thought you are kind of an older soul and I mean that in the biggest compliment ever, like you seem more of an older soul, like you've been around.

Ellie: 4:55

So I think always, I felt like that growing up, like kids my age, I just like, didn't completely relate to cause I was around adults, whether that was in the flower shop or through all of my siblings being substantially older, you know, all those factors, but it kind of just, just mimicked their behavior rather than a fellow ten-year-olds behavior. Does that makes sense? No, it

Lori: 5:20

Does. It does. I think it's a Testament to your independence, you know, so very, very cool. Very cool story. Okay. Fonda, do you want to go or do you want to go?

Vonda: 5:32

I will be glad to go. You go. So my story about my dad and a memory is, well, let me set it up a little bit, knowing that I've talked about dad before he was a garbage man and we really valued the time we had his family, I dad would go to work at three 30 in the morning. He would get home in time for dinner. We'd have dinner together, but we always would take a together, had a pop-up camper for years. And so when you pulled into the little space, then the family jumped out and everybody knew what they needed to do. Right? So then we fast forward a little bit until I got a little older, we got a fifth wheel trailer. So we had a little more space. We still had our little things we had to do, right. So you had to get out and make sure it was jacked up and level and put the blocks in. And so we had gone on a long road trip and we were in the state of Washington, Washington. It was a long way away. And we were so tired, but it was late afternoon. And we had to do our little thing. Everybody gets the blocks in and we got there and mom had popped out something for us to eat. And my dad went off somewhere and he came back and he goes, Hey, okay guys, let's, let's go for a little walk. And so we're like, oh No, we don't want to go. You Know how kids are? Yeah. So we had pulled right up to this berm, this big berm behind the trailer. And he's like, let's just climb this little hill.

Ellie: 7:03

what's a berm?

Vonda: 7:05

Berm is a wedge of land between actually the sand and the land. And it creates sometimes a hill. And that's what it had done in this case. Okay. So we climbed the berm, which is a big hill. And we were at the top of this thing right behind our trailer. And it was the Pacific ocean. Oh, dad was acting like it was nothing. Oh, Come on. You might like it. It was, Dad did things. It was like, he was underplay everything, buddy. We're going to be so excited. And we were like, oh my gosh, this was just fabulous. But it's interesting. I can still remember his downplay of anything that was there, but his excitement at the top of that hill. Yeah. Sharing it with all of us kids. Yeah. Really. It was just a really memorable moment and always will

Ellie: 7:58

Be, oh, I love it. I think that's maybe where I get that part of me is I hate when people hype things up and then you're almost disappointed instead of the opposite, which is his, his approach is to kind of downplay it and give you the support.

Vonda: 8:13

Yeah. That's exactly what he did. And he did that many, many times, but that, that's interesting Ellie that you point that out, but that's how my dad was a down player, but wants to make sure there's a lot of excitement.

Lori: 8:24

I love that story. So gosh, it's so hard to kind of narrow down because both of your stories have inspired me with other stories and the story I was going to tell now I'm like, Nope, I'm maybe getting to tell this other one. Um, so my Dad was similar to your Dad in the fact that I think we were taught to work for things. Um, in order to get the reward, you have to earn it right. You and I always joke about earning your keep. It's, how we were raised. Our grandparents said it, our parents that you earn your keep. Then I have a particular memory, very similar of when Friday evening, my dad said kids were going to get up early. We have to burn brush. So we lived out in the country outside of our small town and we that's what you did. You picked up stick. She burned it all up. You know, it just part of living out in the countries. And we were like, uh, on Saturday and we were kind of whining or like, listen, we're going to do this. And my dad again, he was a principal. He was school board director.

Vonda: 9:32

He was all of these things in the town. So you, you didn't mess with him. Didn't, you know, he was funny, but yet I knew I have to do it, my dentist. So the next day, Saturday, we're just working. Our rear ends off all three of us kids. And my mom who was a kindergarten teacher, kept singing this song that she made up songs in her head and she sang and it would say something good is going to happen to you. Dana, Tony, Lori. And she would sing it. And we were like, whatever, we're sweating. And we were just sort of ignoring it. We work to like lunch time. So we got up at eight worth the whole time we eat lunch and he goes, all right, kids, let's go get in the truck. We got to go to the dump, which I was like, okay, I loved going to the dump. I don't know why I haven't been to the dump since my child. I don't even know where the dump is going. So we all jump in the car to go to the dump. Didn't go to the dump. We went to the ASPCA. I got to pick out a dog. O

Ellie: 10:34

My God,

Lori: 10:36

We were so excited. Oh my gosh, my heart, I just was so excited. And we walked in and like the first dog, the three of us saw was this little beagle. He was just, and we knew this dog until we got to bring home. And that's why my mom was singing, but this is same thing. They didn't want to tell us. Cause they knew, first of all, we would not have gotten our chores done because all you're thinking of we get a dog. So that was our dog named Sam. Uh, So it was a, it was a very, fun memory.

Vonda: 11:15

Very fun memory. But I do. And, and thinking through like stories and life lessons and how I channel my inner Leonard Brock, you know, what do I do now? I did a lot of that with my kids when they were younger, like I would have them do things and then they would earn this reward. And then maybe I wouldn't tell them because to my dad, if you told them before that was in bribery, like he will not brag. Your child has children. You will do the work because you're my child. And so he instilled in me and not that I never bribed my kids cause I'm sure I did, but I remember being very mindful of that. I love that, Lori. So that's great. So do you want to go on and tell us then what your life lesson learned? Um, my life lesson, um, I think that w again was instilled in me from what I can ever remember is again, my dad was an educator. My mother was an educator, all of my aunts and uncles, we all lived in the same small town. Everyone was an education. Like I could not attend a school where I didn't have an aunt and uncle or an uncle or a cousin. Like everybody knew. So wow. The one thing he instilled in me, his eyes are on you, wherever you go. If you break a rule, you will get caught. So that was always on me. But

Lori: 12:44

I think What my dad always taught us is whatever education you choose, it doesn't have to be because he didn't believe that everyone needed to go to college, but he believed education gives you options in life. It's always important To keep learning Whether you're in college, whether you're in a great trade school, whether you're learning a new art, whether you're learning about the world, like he was always teaching us kids. There were always teachable moments. I have a memory of being an elementary school and watching the TV series roots like that. I remember he sat us down as a family and we watched it. And to this day, it's kind of hard for me to watch because I remember I was very fearful because I didn't understand it, that he would talk to us afterwards and kind of, you know, explain he was always teaching. And I think that's why I get my drive that I never want to stop learning. And so I'm always reading a blog or a new this, or a new that, or taking a course because I always feel like there's something more to learn. And when I learn it, I want to share it just like he did. Yeah, no, I think, I think one thing I regret is not listening as intently when he would sit us down and talk to us about history and things. I'm like, oh God, can we go now? I don't want to know about this, but that I think is my biggest life lesson that has been instilled in me is to always learn, always read books, you know, pick all different genres. Um, and, and when you get some good nuggets of information, share it because it's going to help somebody else. And yeah, you are so good at that. Lori, you are, you do a fabulous job of taking all that digesting and almost regurgitating it in a different way that everybody can understand it more, which is just such a gift to me, brilliant that from Leonard, I did, I'll learn it from then, you know, he, he would do it and digest it into like, how does this fit into the education system? And I read everything with flower click filter, right? Like, how does, if I was a flower shop owner, how did would this apply to me? But it's still the same concept. Right. You know, that he instilled in me. So I try to teach that with my children, to my children to always, oh, and, and I feel like all three of them are pretty good at that. They like to read, thank God. Um, they read very different things, but that's okay. You know? So anyway, what about you? So for

Ellie: 15:30

Me, mine is kind of layered in terms of a life lesson learned. I think it's two parts. So my dad did something called loaves and fishes every Monday night. And that was through the church, but he really spearheaded it. He had a little team under him and he would cook dinner every Monday night for those less fortunate, those who just needed a hot meal. And so I would go there, I would help him. And it was really good to see like that side of him and that side of the world, but also like, he didn't really talk about being philanthropic. Like he didn't teach, you know, he didn't say, Hey, Ellie, Joe, you need to do this. And you need to remember the less fortunate and you need to do that. So it was good for me to learn on my own to do it. If that makes sense. I know that sounds a little confusing, but also he would do the same thing for Thanksgiving. So every Thanksgiving I would get woken up at 3:00 AM to go put the turkeys in. But I think the overall lesson obviously is to be philanthropic with your time, donate your time to those who need it. And I'm trying to be better about that. Now also just doing things for others, rather than talking about doing things for others. I think that's something, whether it's hanging up Tyler's towel after he lays it on the floor, you know, like the little things and the little actions that help others lives be better. I think that's something that I've really learned is important rather than talking about it, to just show them instead.

Lori: 17:04

Exactly. I love that he modeled it for you. He didn't use these words right. As he modeled it for you. That's beautiful.

Vonda: 17:13

Yeah. That is beautiful. I didn't even think of those things. It's interesting that you've pulled that out of that. Well, my dad, I think I've shared this before. And my lesson learned is to work hard, you know, work hard. And if you're going to work for someone, you need to work hard and kind of earn your keep. If you're getting paid, you need to make sure that while you're on the clock, you're working was one of those things that was very important to him. Um, and instilling that on all of us kids, you know, if you're wherever you are, if you're working, you need to make sure that you are actually working. You're not standing around. And I don't think he really said that it's just through the recycling center that he had to, or through the garbage routes. But mostly I would see it during the recycling center where people would just be standing around, well, no, nobody's in right now, but you can be doing this or you can be doing that. And we did that in the flower shop, right? Ellie, it was like, you don't just stand around and just talk. There's always something that can be done. That's productive. That helps others. But again, as I've said before, you know, if you're going to work hard and put your heart and soul into what you're doing, work for yourself and not someone else. Yeah. You know, that's why we started flowers, et cetera, and Dixon. It was like, you know what? We knew we could do this together and we would work hard, but, and I would and make a go of it. And that's why we started flower click. Right? It's like put our heart and soul into everything we do. And here we are because we want to help people, which you're talking about as well. Ellie is, you know, we want to continue to help people and make other successful and work out of the side of ourselves and do it for others.

Ellie: 19:03

Yeah, absolutely. I love that.

Lori: 19:05

That's so good. Um, I was thinking about, like I said earlier, my dad was, uh, he was, he was quiet. He was funny. He and my mom were big practical jokers, which that's a whole nother story. They would like if I was having one of my first dates, a guy would come to the door, they might answer the door with what's called Billy Bob teeth. They're fake teeth that are rotated snaggle tooth. My mom and dad would answer the door or they would ask the door, having him come in and sit on the piano bench where there was a whoopee cushion underneath the cushion. This was my parents. This was the world, the traumatized world I had as a teenager because they loved to just embarrass the crap out of their children. However, on the other hand, during the school year, almost every morning, I remember in high school. Cause he would leave before we even got ready, you know? And he would put a post-it note, Ellie, I think this is why I always use post-it note on my mirror with some sort of affirmation. Oh, he wouldn't be a, he was, again, it was hard for him to say it face to face, but he would write it and maybe it was a quote or maybe it was just an encouragement, but he would always do that. And I wish so badly. I kept those. So I'm like, Ugh, whatever, you know, 16 year old, stupid, Lori, but think back. And I'm like, that was him building into me. And some of them were really, really good. One of the ones I will never forget is when you, and I've talked about before in our flower click shop talk, whether you think you can, or you think you can't you're right. And I remember that one. That's a great one. I love that. Yeah.

Ellie: 20:55

Somehow I think Ellie, your dad used to put notes in your lunch box or using the lunch bag. He used to put it. He did. Yeah. And that's funny

Lori: 21:06

When we talked about this last week, I've just, I think we've always been swirling and you're like, well, we could talk about this for four hours. Just don't even realize you don't even remember. You're like, oh my gosh, that came from my dad. You know, like, even part of my sense of humor came from my dad. I forgot. I forgot. He was funny. Yeah.

Vonda: 21:28

And I, all of our clickers who are listening today, just need to think of a positive memory of your dad or your father. And if you're blessed to be able to see them right. Tell him you love him. Right. He lives in a different town sunflowers, right?

Lori: 21:42

Yes. Yes. You know, in our photo shoot last week you did those really cute cars. I actually, I got to see my dad afterwards and I showed him those pictures and I showed him the Chevy and the Ford, of course he liked the Ford better. Right? Yeah.

Vonda: 22:00

Those were the Teleflora containers that were the camper. And then the Chevy and the flat trucks, which were so cute made up. Weren't they very, very cute. And sadly, there are many who do not have their dads here to celebrate father's day. But you know, what, what we can do is share a memory of your dad with a sibling or someone else who really loved him. Because when we do that, we keep that memory alive and celebrate father's day over and over again. So Lori., are you going to ask the question?

Lori: 22:34

Okay. I am going to ask the question and as I ask it, I'm going to think of the answer. So I'm going to, I'm spinning my wheel. Who am I going to start with? I'm gonna start with that. Cause you brought it up.

Vonda: 22:48

What's inspiring me is the photo shoot that we just finished. It was very inspiring for all three of us to be together and our friend Julie. So there were four of us and that was just so much fun and inspiring because of the designs we created. And we look at those and to me, it's just exciting to be able to share those again with people who are members of flower click and anybody who really needs help making things better in their online world. So I'm excited about what's coming forward and that inspires me. Right. All right.

Ellie: 23:29

I have two things. They're both work-related um, the first is our new website that I'm thick in the trenches on and just building out and realizing how much we do trying to convey all of that. And so that's inspiring to really nail the message and think of how our customers See us. And I think that's inspiring. And my other thing is planning for SAF. I'm excited to be in person live with all of you and our fellow industry people and planning our booth and planning, all kinds of staff that we have in store for SAF in September. So if you are planning on going there as well, we are excited to see you.

Lori: 24:24

Yes. I'm so excited for that. Oh yeah. There are a lot of clickers. I know that are going. I know, I know. Good. So that's kind of boring. I'm going to kind of piggyback on Vonda, but for a different reason, what has been inspiring for me is, you know, at our photo shoots, we all have a different job, right? Like you do. All of the designing Elliot is a photography and then I take it and I try to do some social media picks for our members.

Ellie: 24:52

And you keep track of everything That we don't miss a shot.

Lori: 24:57

I'm the checker offer. I am the list checker offer, which is the most stressful thing in my entire life. Yeah. You are a little stressed. I am not, that is not my wheelhouse, but I do it. I did it. And Vonda makes it perfect because she has it all already in writing and she double checks my work. She does, I saw Her, but that's okay. Anyway, what inspires me? You had some new bundles. Um, a lot of people be, you know, don't know that you tried to get some new bundles and you did the white, you have this gorgeous white bundle. And so I took just some random picks off my phone, not nothing fancy. And I put it in our members site and I'm like, Ooh, new bundle. Everybody got so excited. And I was like, yay. We did it. Like, you know, they're going to love it. And they're like, how soon when's that going to be on my website? When can I order it? And I was like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have, but it was inspiring. It's so nice to know we're on the right track with the trends and the needs of our members. So to me,

Vonda: 26:05

well, and I think that's why Ellie does a lot with our branding being we're for the progressive Florist. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Ellie: 26:13

All right. Well ladies gonna wrap it up. Thanks for having me guys. Thanks for being here. Thanks for coming.

Lori: 26:19

Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the business and pleasure of flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa, we look forward to seeing you next week.

Vonda: 26:40

So please come back and join us and discover a bit of knowledge. And one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.

Speaker 5: 27:33

[inaudible] bye.