Five Tips to Overcome Challenges

Episode 150: We're surrounded by challenges every day. They are both personal and business related, some bigger than others, but all needing your attention. Vonda and Lori share five tips to overcome the biggest (or smallest) of challenges. Be sure and listen to then end where Lori shares information about Biosphere 2 and what it has to do with you and challenges. 

Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist

Transcript

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SPEAKER_02 0:03

We don't have the ability to stop all challenges. They're gonna just keep coming. But we do have the ability to decide how we're going to respond, right?

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Welcome to the Business and Pleasure of Flowers. We're your hosts, Vonda LaFever and Lori Wilson.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Lori, the last couple weeks have brought some interesting challenges personally and business-wise for both of us. So we thought this was a perfect opportunity to talk about overcoming challenges.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Yes, exactly. And I am here for the advice. We need some help. So talk about what you've been going through. Start with your personal stuff because it's always the good stuff.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Well, last week I talked a little bit about the sprinkler system. So my sprinkler system didn't run it for a while because it'd been raining. And so I turned it on and like there were leaks and heads weren't coming up. And so anyway, that was one. And you try to call somebody, it's gonna be four weeks before they show up. So it's like gonna figure it out myself. Then the pool.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

The dryer, yes. Mine sounds like it ended up being cheaper than yours. It is.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

I had fixed mine. I gave up. That's right. I gave up. We got a new set. It's like, hey, yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Now is the new set going to be del is it in stock, or do you have to wait six weeks?

SPEAKER_00 1:46

It was in stock. I actually made the decision, and we can go over this later, based on what was available.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Okay, yeah, interesting. Because that's what I keep seeing about any kind of appliance. I think it's slowly coming back, but I know the last two years, man. Depending on what you wanted, you might be waiting months and months and months.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Exactly. In that case, I would have just got this fixed again again.

unknown 2:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

And then the other little challenge, I mean, as we're recording the podcast, somebody's out in the kitchen and the the shelf broke and it just went bam explosion. So which shelf? It was the one in the door that has, you know, the glass poetry door with all the the salad dressing and all those things. Yes, yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

So worry, how about it's fun to work from home.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

Who doesn't want a remote job? Right. So, what about your personal challenges going on?

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Well, we have the same pool issue. Our heater, our heater, here's the thing about our heater. The squirrels keep chewing through the wires. Or the other thing is here's a little secret about where I live here in the woodlands, Texas. There are tree rats. Yes, you heard me. Tree rats, they don't always stay in the trees, they like to run them up. We have found them in our pool, but usually you can see them jumping from trees. So yeah. Oh, I one time I heard a big splash right at my husband jumped in the pool fully clothed. Thank God he didn't have his cell phone on him. Had a net, like a butterfly net, and was holding something under the water. And I'm like, What are you doing? He's like, drowning a rat. And I'm like, what is happening?

SPEAKER_01 3:52

And I was so conflicted because I'm like, gross. Then I'm like, oh, that's awful. And he goes, How long does it take to drown a rat? And I googled it. I was like, it could be like 10 minutes. And he's like, crap.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

And I'm like, it was a whole thing. But anyway, they've chewed through the wires of our heater. We've had it fixed once, came back. Apparently, you gotta get like this some type of it's kind of like a chicken wire, but it's anyway. Everybody around here is saying, Yeah, we had to do that too because of isn't that gross?

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Terrible, terrible.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

So that's a challenge. The tree rats have been a challenge. So that pool stuff's been a challenge. Um, we've had crazy, I mean, not crazy, just news going on in my family. My husband has announced his retirement as of Friday of last week, which was a few years early than he had expected, but it's okay. He will be done the end of November. So we're just dealing with the challenge of what's next. Um, so I'm I'm having to change my mindset, which we're gonna talk about later, but what's supposed to happen, as about what is going to happen. So that's been super interesting. Um yeah, and then my dad, who I talk about a lot on here, who is a great man, he has Alzheimer's. He I am flying on Friday. Well, I will already have him by the time this is posted. Um, I'm gonna go pick him up and drive him back in his car because we need to sell his car because he can't drive anymore. And so he's going to stay with us for a while. And so, you know, I mean, challenges. I I when I say the word challenges in my life, I don't mean it like, oh my gosh, I'm you know, but they are new to me. This is both of these new things are uncharted territory for me, and so it's kind of scary. And so I vacillate between a new adventure, looking at it from a positive Pollyanna Lori mindset of wow, what what's next year gonna be? That's gonna be exciting to find out. And the other part of me is I'm terrified. I'm terrified. What's gonna happen? What if this, what if that, you know, and go down that road. So this is a good topic. Yeah, yeah, today. And um talking with a lot of our flower shop owners recently in the last month, actually, the last two months. I'm thinking since August, I've seen this pattern of what's 2023 gonna be like. I'm should we be nervous? Should we be conservative? Should we be, you know, uh reaching for the stars? Like what? And so that's why it's a good idea.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

That's a that's a big challenge, and that was a big subject in our shop talk last week. And also hiring, that's the other big challenge that our shops are all talking about is gosh, you know, trying to hire someone, trying to get everything done. What what do we expect for the holiday, like you mentioned, and in 2023?

SPEAKER_02 7:21

So yeah, and just you know, I think day-to-day owning your own business, and you can relate to this. I mean, I can relate to it because I like to, in my mind, think I've helped create a company, but at the end of the day, you your name is the one on the bills, right? That has to be paid for so you I can identify with this just the day-to-day nuances of owning a business sometimes can feel incredibly daunting.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

I I think I felt that more when I owned my own flower shop than I do with flower club. Because why do you think that is well it's like you mentioned because you and Cammy and Ellie and Audrey and Leslie and Denise, you know, everybody's helped build this, and I don't feel like I'm in that alone. Where when you have your own flower shop and you're the one who really you feel like you are in by yourself, and some of them are, they maybe only have one or two other employees. So I think it feels different for me, and I know it's because of the strong team that we have, and others they might not have that strong team, or they're continually having a churn, or you know, I'm looking at who I need to hire, or maybe I need to let someone go and I really need a designer. So there's so many challenges in owning a small business. We have our challenges. I mean, when I look at it, our big challenge is we have a small team and we have so much to get done, you know.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our challenge isn't it's clearly isn't attrition because we're all so connected, we all feel like we have a piece of flower click, and we do take ownership in a lot of ways. I mean, we'll take full responsibility for things because we know we helped we helped create it. But a part-time employee at a flower shop, I don't necessarily think that I would blame them if they don't really love the the store the way the owner loves the store, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Exactly. So well, and the other thing that I feel we have uh a challenge with now business-wise, and that's we're trying to create this course called Real Life Florist, and it's collaborative with Abby Check at Blake More Flowers and all of us, and there is so much to do, and we're trying to balance that with everything else. So that's a big challenge. Also, continuing to grow Flower Click, you know, so we have the retention, which we love our members, and we're trying to protect their individuality with Flower Click, yeah, as well as trying to grow Flower Click so that we can have more members and more part of our Flower Click family.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

Yeah, so and that's been a challenge for us that we, I mean, I guess I knew it could eventually be an issue, but like lately it's become a very big thing as far as we've had to put people on the quote unquote waiting list because we can't allow them to be a flower clip member because there's already one or two shops there, and and we don't want to have them just to have it, right? We want our integrity, we want to honor our word, and so that has been a challenge for us to figure out how we can navigate this to grow because we have to grow too. We're a company, um, but yet maintain our word and integrity of the company. Yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

So those are the challenges that we're if anyone knows, give us a call. Tell us exactly, and we have some ideas. I mean, we're at we have a strategic planning meeting coming up um in November when the our shops are super busy and they don't need us as much, then we'll have a little bit more, not really free time, but time right to no right.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

Well, and I think our our shops, not not even that they don't need us as much. There I will come out of that meeting, not only knowing my vision for 2023 as far as my role, but also I'm gonna come out of that meeting with more ideas and information and ways that I can share with our members on how they might grow their business, right? Exactly. So it's the trickle down, the trickle-down effect.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

And I'm sure there's gonna be a whole lot of research done by you, and you know, you're well being so Ellie and I will be on it.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

We will be researching every single thing we need to know how to grow.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

So yeah, yeah, that's true. So we kind of wanted to go over some tips to overcome challenges, Lori.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

We did. The first one, I always think it's funny when we're coming up with these. For those of you that are listening, a lot of times when we are talking through what we want to talk about, we don't with nothing is scripted, obviously. You can say but when when something's burdening us or there's an overriding theme for the week that we want to talk about, we create a Google Doc and we both can see it, and one's typing and the other's talking, and you're going through, and it's so funny. 90% of the time, when you're writing words, I'm like, yep. And I before, I mean, we just it's so intertwined how our our brains work. Um, and and the first thing you wrote was mindset, right? On how to overcome challenges. And I did this.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

She pulled out her book on mindset.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

My book that I've read twice, and I need to actually read it again. It's called Mindset: The New Psychology of Success: How We Can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential. And it's by Carol Dweck, she's a PhD. It is one that Barry Gottlieb, it's on his must-read list. I mean, it's an older book. I can't even remember when. It's been around for a while. I know corporations, big businesses that have done leadership training over just this corporate retreats over this book. So, anyway, back to the word mindset. What was it you wrote?

SPEAKER_00 13:57

I wrote mindset, and then you are going into the different kinds of mindset and how it makes a difference how we face our challenges.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Right. So the quick synopsis of this book is there's two ways to have a mindset: fixed mindset or growth mindset. They're very pretty self-explanatory. You know, fixed mindset is it's this away, it's always been a this away, and you're never gonna change me. And the blah blah. Growth is hmm, what can I learn from this? What information you just gave me, how it filters through, will this change me? Am I open to letting this change me? Maybe I should be you. So it's fixed or growth. I think of it as when we get a challenge thrown at us. I mean, think about it. We can't, we we don't have the ability to stop all challenges, they're gonna just keep coming. But we do have the ability to decide how we're going to respond, right? Or how I always think of it, how am I gonna absorb this truth, this challenge? You know, I've had just let's take my husband's retirement two years early when I'm like, immature me. He's like, you said I was gonna be able to retire, and now you're you know, like going through the whole thing, and I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute, that's fixed mindset. But you said this is what the this is what the spreadsheet said. Growth mindset is me going, you know what? What would I do with my time anyway? I might as well keep growing and learning, you know. I'm just I'm I'm being a little, you know, dramatic on it, but that's the difference, right? And so when I get thrown a challenge, if I'm on my fixed, to me, I can't absorb it, I can't let it come into my body. I and it just keeps bouncing off me. And the more it hits me, the more defensive I'm gonna get and angry and bitter, all of the things. But if I absorb it with the whole, okay, in my life, I'm always going, God, what are you trying to teach me? Right? What are you gonna teach me through this? I need to open my mind and and and be mindful and thoughtful to how is this gonna grow me? And then the weird part of it is I can almost get myself kind of excited because oh my gosh, I'm gonna grow. I'm gonna do something new, I'm gonna do something different. Don't know what it'll be, but won't that be fun?

SPEAKER_00 16:39

So, Lori, this sounds like a whole podcast that could be done on mindset and what you learned of the book. So I'm gonna have to order the book and yes, please have a conversation. I think that would be really helpful for all of our clickers.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

I actually think our whole team of employees, like flower clickers, uh employees, this would be a great book. I don't know if everyone on our staff reads no one has time. Cammy's got triplets, she doesn't have time, but it's it's a very freeing book, I can tell you that, because it gives you choice on how you want to absorb the challenge, no matter what the challenge is.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

So the second one is let the dust settle, right? Give yourself a little time. Sometimes we respond, right? It's like you're saying you hit the wall and this is it. Take a breath and make a decision. Even let me go back to the dryer, right? And you have a good story on this too, but okay, I did it, and it's like first I need to see what my options are. I can fix what I have again and again and again, and put more on the internet, or at this point, am I better off to get something new and then you know, think, research, think, yep, and then make a decision.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

So yeah, I think this one is um a truth that every small business owner needs to have written on a post-it note at all points because the amount of angry customers, bitter brides, whatever, wholesale flower florists that don't show up, I mean employees that keep quitting, all of the stuff. We it can first of all, you can also get five different challenges coming at you in one day, right? It's not like we can go, okay, this one will be for today's. No, it's more that would be fine. We could regulate that, but we we can't. So that's why it's even more important to let the death settle, unless it is a crisis, like a health, you know, an issue, like somebody needs to have CPR, then of course you're not gonna take a minute, you're gonna dive in and you're gonna help. But the challenge, every challenge you get, if you can take that breath, maybe do whatever you need to do before you jump in. I think I think you have less regret.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Maybe sometimes when you're letting that dust settle, giving yourself space, right? You might want to ask for help in that point.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

You know, that's a good time, you know. Really, like you said, deep breath, a little self-care. Maybe go get a manicure, you know, do something for yourself. Right. Somebody, you know, what do you think? What right?

SPEAKER_02 19:37

And that's something I love. I know Cami has a million stories on this too, as do you and I. We will get an email or a text from one of our members that say, Do you have a minute? Can I run something by you? Or I need help. Like those are, I don't want to say my favorite emails, but they are my favorite emails because I'm like, they they know they can come to us. Like, I am on it. What is your challenge? You know, I had one three weeks ago. I mean, that that really sticks in my mind because of the follow-up she ended up having. It was a it was a wedding issue, uh, an event planner being not very kind and just completely caught her off guard, right? Because she thought everything went great, and all of a sudden you get blindsided with the challenge, and you're like, wait a minute, but but she we talked through it, and she's like, I'm gonna wait, I'm not gonna respond, I'm gonna take the weekend because it was, and I was like, I think that is the smartest thing to do. And she did, and she's she doesn't regret how she responded. A lot of times I've got a lot of regrets when I've responded immediately and been mad. I'm like, uh, I shouldn't.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

That's why you're supposed to respond and then rip up that paper or delete exactly and write the email, just don't send the email. Right. A lot of times when we say ask for help, if you don't have somebody you can reach out to, really go on the internet. You know, if it's it's something like my sprinkler, I can YouTube it. But even when I'm looking for advice and maybe it's on a Sunday and Lori is not available or Cammy or me or something, it's like first thing you can do is just get some knowledge, you know, look up your situation and see if there's some experts that are able to offer you something. Because again, don't do it alone, ask for a little bit of help, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:41

Feeling like other people have been where you are is is so freeing in some ways. Um, even if the outcome isn't gonna be good, whatever it is, whether it's a healthy, you know, whatever it is. Just knowing you're not alone, that there is there are other people that are like, Yeah, I've been through that too. Um, I think our industry with AIFD and SAF and all of the local state associations, all you know, they try to do a really good job having spaces for community, whether it's a forum or a Facebook group or a face-to-face for that very reason.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

Yeah, you don't want to feel like you're alone. And if you're in the floral business, you're not alone. Somebody has experienced what you're going through right now, for sure. Right. So reaching out really does is very helpful. And then number four, half down is stay focused.

SPEAKER_02 22:47

That's the hardest. Honestly, it's you know me. I I mean I'm self-diagnosed ADD. I know I am, and and but I but it's okay because my doctor said he's ADD too, and that's what got him through medical school. So you can use it pretty good. But here's my issue, and I wonder if other people have this. When I have a challenge that is giving me a lot of stress or uh or any kind of emotion, like anger, or it's something that it's I have a hard time focusing on anything else. Yes, I focus on the oh no, I get that pit in my stomach, you know, the I am that person that I've had this conversation with other of our coworkers going when they're stressed and get like all they do is eat. I'm the exact opposite. Like I can't, you know, I I just worry and worry and sue and can think through these things because I want to try to figure out on my own, because I want to always be fairly calm, and that's really a bad idea, you know, because I can't get anything else done. And it makes it worse, right? Because it makes it absolutely worse because then you do feel alone. Um, but to stay focused, I think here doesn't mean dwell obsess and dwell on the issue, stay focused on what is a solution, what is a logical solution for this challenge.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Stay focused and after you've let the dust settle, you've got you've received a little bit of clarity, you've asked for a little bit of help. Now you're focused on making the decision. Because I think the worst thing is when you have a challenge and it's just out there, like you're saying, you're dwelling on it. You're like it's you are so self-absorbed in that that you're not thinking on everything else. So staying focused to make a decision and get that challenge out of the way, you know, solve the challenge. That that's me. You know, I want to solve it, but I'm gonna get all my ideas first and let's get it taken care of, and then I can move on.

SPEAKER_02 24:57

Yeah, yeah. No, I I agree. And well, and speaking of moving on, that is our last little nugget here is move forward with confidence in your decision. Now, I want to be very clear here. You might find out it was the wrong decision. That's not that's okay. The the key is you need to be confident with whatever the consequences are of your decision. Right. You need to be okay with that, going, well, I I chose that, right? So I can live with it.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Right, because you've done your research, you've asked for help, you've let it, you've given yourself space, and now it's like, okay, I'm focused, I've looked, I'm gonna make this decision, knowing that it could go not the exact way I'm thinking it's going to, but I'm okay with that. I think that's really the key, Lori, is to be confident in your decision and be okay and learn from your mistakes if it was not the right decision. Right.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

Um, have you ever heard of the biosphere two in Arizona? I I don't think so. So I heard about this, I don't know, last week, I think. And I kind of made myself a mental note to Google, you know, do my own research. Um, because I had our story and I wanted to make sure it was true before I did it. So the Biosphere 2 is this place. It's a dome basically, and it's in Arizona, and it was built. I want to say they started working on this sometime in the 90s. And it's all of these little domes, its own little ecosystem. And eight people, four men and four women, scientists, moved into it and lived for two years to see if they could replicate biosphere one, which is Earth. Okay, that's that's why it's called two. Little fun fact for you. So I was reading all about it, and it's just fascinating. There's a um Dartmouth, there was a scientist out of Dartmouth. He wrote an incredible and is free if you get on and Google Dartmouth Biodome Two. He writes his version of he lived there and the things that went wrong, and what they, but here's here's the bottom line. Here's why I'm telling you this. They grew their own plants, they had their own animals, they were all self-sustaining. Okay one thing that kept happening, I mean, they had like rainforest rain, they they did everything they were supposed to to replicate what uh happens on earth without pollution, right? And and all of that kind of stuff. But the trees would get to a certain height and they would just fall over and die. And they're couldn't figure this out, and so they kept doing these studies trying to under figure out long story short, what they realized was trees need bad weather, they need wind, they need storms, they need heavy rains because as they grow and they come into contact with these things, their roots go deeper and they get stronger and they can grow. And I read that and I'm like, oh my gosh. Yep, exactly like humans, like humans when it comes to challenges, right? We have to have these things thrown at us because it's how we grow. It's back to my book, our growth mindset. I can't have a growth mindset if I don't have things coming at me to learn from or grow from, right? Better, and then hopefully then my job becomes because I learned something and feel like I'm better. It's my job to share that with other people so that they can be better and then they can share it. And that's how our little human ecosystem works. But anyway, I thought that was a really cool story, um, and I think on YouTube there's like a documentary about because you know, now I'm all science-y, and I'm like, oh, I want to go live there. That sounds fascinating, but um they that's the scientists forgot to include the natural elements that's of wind.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

That's interesting. That's a really great way to end knowing that even the trees need challenges.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

Yeah, well, that's how we get stronger. We gotta have the hard stuff because they had replicated the soft, the easy.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

Yeah, love it.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

So that's all I got, Vonda. I'm done. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the business and pleasure of flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

We look forward to seeing you next week. So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.