Have you Started to Crush 2023 or Need to Reset?

Episode 168: Sixty days ago Flower Clique had a webinar "How to crush the first 60 days of 2023", and now it's time to follow-up. Vonda and Lori share their habit goals and how they've measured up ~ or not! 

Book referenced: Atomic Habits by James Clear

Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

From now on, every time you squeegee the shower, you will giggle and you will enjoy it more.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Welcome to the business and pleasure of flowers. We're your hosts, Fonda LaFever and Lori Wilson.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Welcome, Clippers. It's good to be back. We've had a few weeks off, Lori. We have.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

We've had guests, which is always nice. I love when we have guests, but then I love sometimes when it's just you and me shooting the breeze, right?

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Exactly. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

So tell me, I know you have amazing editing skills. So I am still eating my breakfast. So you tell me if it's too loud or if you hear a clang of a spoon or a crunch of a granola.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Okay, I will do that. So you don't want me to edit that out? You want me to let the listener out?

SPEAKER_02 1:08

No, I think you can edit it out. Here's the thing. Here's why I want you to be proud of me. I'm eating breakfast. So this is a new concept for me because you know I'm not a big breakfast person. I just like to drink coffee through lunch. Um, but I will tell you, and this is a perfect segue into what we're going to talk about. It is a new habit that myself and two other of your employees are trying to implement. And it is focused on nutrition, it is not focused on diet. When we met with my daughter, who's a dietitian, a registered dietitian, um, has been helping us through as far as a good breakfast for us to maintain our energy and to kick jumpstart our metabolism. So I have done it three days in a row and I'm celebrating, right? I mean, um, and what's so amazing, I think with any habit you're trying to create, you have to have accountability. And so it's so nice to have this little group text with my two other employees because we're we're all in different journeys when it comes to nutrition, right? Because we're all different body types and different medications and all this. But we keep sending pictures of here's my breakfast, what's yours, and here's mine, and here's a fun quick, and so I'm excited, and you know, I get excited when other people are excited, yes, and so they're motivated. I'm like, yay, this is so fun. So, anyway, it is a new habit that I am really working hard to establish, which kind of leads into what the 11th of March anniversary is, right?

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yes, a couple things I want to share on what you just said. So you have three days down, so you have 25 more days to be able to make it into a habit because typically 28 days makes a habit, right?

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Yes, that's true. I need to remind myself of that.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

Then the other thing is I recently heard an interview of a man who was 100 years old, and they said to him, What is your secret to longevity? And he said, I start my morning every day with breakfast. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

So there you go, Lori. Yeah, no, it's it's so true, and I have struggled with so many crazy things coming on the other side of 50, right? Like all of a sudden my body's like, Yay, you're 50. I'm gonna change. And so I'm not used to all of these things, and so it's been really um humbling and eye-opening, and all of the things to figure out I need to focus on what is most nutritious for my body so that I can live to be 100 years old, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:12

So you go so your segue that you're talking about is on January 11th, we had a session called Crush the First 60 Days of 2023. And it was about habits and mount-changing habits, and so we just kind of wanted to go back and reflect on hey, how'd we do in this, right?

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Right, right, because we set some potential habits we wanted to develop, right? And yes, how'd you do, Fonda?

SPEAKER_00 4:47

Well, when I looked back at our notes, one of the very first ones was changing instead of using the word challenge, we were gonna use the word opportunity. So our word was supposed to be opportunity instead of challenge, right? And I I think we've caught ourselves. I know I have many times saying no, the opportunity. So I've been working on it. I don't think I've fallen back too many times because I think we catch each other.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

Yeah, I agree. And what's funny is we have some members throughout the last 60 days that have sent me pictures of like their bulletin board with the word challenge X'd out and opportunity. The other thing is we've had two shop talks since then, or four to it, two each month. All four times someone has brought up when somebody says something about challenge, or like, no, opportunity.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

I know, I know, it's just the best because I've been talking to somebody and it's the same thing. It's like I pause and they're like, opportunity, you know, because kind of helping us, it's like you just mentioned, having others help you along the way, and that's where it's been with our challenge slash opportunity psychologically, when we change out that word, how our mindset changes, or at least for me, because when I say challenge, I'm like ugh, hard.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

Anything with the word challenge to me is hard, but opportunity, I'm like, ooh, fun. It makes you feel lighter, it brises you to the occasion when you look at it as opportunity.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

And just like you said, it's the mindset. And we did talk a bit about mindset and open mindsets and closed mindsets, and opportunity has an open mindset thought process.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

Right. So we talked about there were three different ways to help change habits, and this all came from that book, Atomic Habits, which I saw again at Target yesterday, right up front. I mean, it's still one of the best-selling books. Um, right, but we talked about habit stacking, temptation, bundling, and the the two-minute rule, right?

SPEAKER_00 7:14

Yes, those are the ones.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

So, did you create goals under all three of those, or did you just do one?

SPEAKER_00 7:24

I did all three of them. I think you made us do all three of them. No, I think Ellie made us do all three of them because we needed to participate and be held accountable on this opportunity, right?

SPEAKER_02 7:34

Yes, that's true. So let me ask you this because I was going back to mine that I created. Mine were all really pretty just personal habits. I want to change about myself. Did you were yours personal habits or were they work-related?

SPEAKER_00 7:54

Um, I think both. Like my the habit stacking. Let's first go over what is habit stacking.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

So habit stacking involves stacking a new behavior behind something you're currently doing. So, you know, some psych if I do this, I gotta remember to do that. So I'm gonna add on another habit that I want to start afterwards. So, for example, mine was after I take a shower, I'm gonna wipe down the shower glass because I hate cleaning the shower. So I'm going to, you know, okay, every time I take a shower, boom, I'm wiping down the shower glass. So I'm it's a habit I already have, and so I'm adding on to that.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

Can I share a little secret about doing uh squeegeeing the shower that you might enjoy? And I promise you, from from now on, every time you squeegee the shower, you will giggle and you will enjoy it more. Okay. Please. My husband, who you know, this is our job too. We have to squeegee because we both you and I both have those glass doors, he will count how many squats he can do. Oh, there you go. 17 squats. 17 squats. That's genius.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

I will laugh every time I do that now.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

Every time, and you're like, oh, I'm working out. 17 squats, you know, or however many. So just a little side side note to make your shower squeegee more fun.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

Okay, so what was your habit stacking?

SPEAKER_02 9:35

My habit stacking, I have to look, okay. This is one again, it kind of personal and it goes back to the nutrition thing. While I I get up in the morning and I make my coffee, okay. While it's brewing, I drink 16 ounces of water. I make myself drink the water first before I start my coffee. So as it's brewing, as it's brewing, it's all made. Sometimes I do it the night before and push the button, but sometimes I make the whole thing. As it's brewing, I go over and I drink. I have my cup right here, and I'm already the thing is I'm already on my second cup, and we're still in the morning. So it kind of kick starts my body. Um, and and so that's what that's what I've been doing, and it works so far.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

That's great. You had another one, however, let me remind you, because maybe you forgot.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

I'm sure I probably am not doing it.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

Well, what it is is that you said when you know you're going to the gym in the morning, as soon as you get up, you put your shoes on.

SPEAKER_02 10:44

Yes, I have been doing that. I forgot that I was I've been doing that. See, that's really good. I didn't even realize it's already a habit. So yeah, no, that is good. Oh yay! I've got I've been doing that one. Love it. That's great. I've been much more mindful about going to the gym, you know, because I know it it it changes, changes my whole perspective on life when I can do that. So the next habit for me, the way you can develop a habit is called temptation bundling. This one I wrote I can remember what you were talking about when it comes to flower shops. This was all about the cogs, how you can or gotta do the yucky stuff, as I call it.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Right, because you don't always want to do this every Monday. You should be tracking your cost of goods sold. And so what we suggested is you know, have something like get yourself in the office, maybe with your cup of coffee and uh some chocolate, and just make sure that you're doing that every time. So it's temptation bundling is you're gonna do something that you really are not looking forward to, but in order to get it done, you're tempting yourself with something you like. So it's like, what is it that you don't really want to do or take the time to do? Right. And what can you tempt yourself with to get in there and get it done?

SPEAKER_02 12:20

Right. And I remember exactly what mine was because I still do not enjoy the treadmill. It's so boring to me. But my treat with myself is when I'm on the treadmill, I can listen to old 1980s heavy metal rock and roll crazy songs that I never really listen to anymore. And again, I want to let you know, I had other flower shop owners must reach out to me and we're like, I do too! I listen to that kind of music when no one's around. It's like that's so great. Yeah, yeah. And it's just a little, I I think mentally when I do that, that some of that music takes me back to like great memories of my high school. And so you kind of get lost in that, and all of a sudden your 30 minutes of the treadmill's over.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

That's great. I'd love that, and so it's still working, that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Mine was doing my expense report because I have to break down the credit cards into different categories and you know, all the really important stuff that you can't mess up, uh, to be able to have a correct PL. What I found is I put my note on my door and I take in my coffee and my snack, whichever my favorite snack for the day is, and I tell myself I am not gonna answer my Slack ping notification. Yeah, you know, because you can go down the whole down rabbit trail, right?

SPEAKER_02 13:51

Right, right. It is. It's the worst when you have to focus on something to get almost in order to do it.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

It's too easy to take the distraction. It's like, oh, oh, I gotta listen to it. I should still choose it every time a million times over.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

I would choose a distraction over what it is I don't want to be doing. I'm fine.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

So I put the note on my door, I say, okay, I'm not answering this for one half hour, and I will be done if I just keep on it. And I did the last two times, I'm like, oh my gosh, this really works. So I was excited and proud of myself because it it really did work.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

Yeah, yeah. And isn't it again going back to the mindset? You I don't want to say you look forward to it, but it's not as daunting of a task because you know I'm gonna I'm gonna hyperfocus for the hour. It's just me and my laptop and my snack. You turn everything off, and you get you know it's not gonna take as long.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

No, and what I found is that it balances more often when I'm not distracted.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

Because it all has to balance, which is very important.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

And then I don't have to redo it because if it didn't balance, then I was doing it again. So, anyway, just little things as a shop owner, you can definitely focus and get it done. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

And I know a handful of hours that that have an office. I know not a lot of not all floors have like a private space, but she will put a note on the door too. Don't interrupt me unless there's blood, right? So don't interrupt me for the next hour.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

I've had a lot of uh Flower Click members this month really start focusing on their cost of goods sold. And I'm not sure if it's because of this webinar or what, but the phrase was I want to be drama free in 23, which I love. And so they're like, we've got to focus on this, we've got to focus because I don't want to make excuses for myself anymore. And so they've really been focusing on this, and you're talking about accountability. I mean, I have meetings every week or every other week with these people.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

I was trying to channel something on your calendar this week, and you have a lot of meetings, and they're one-on-one profits, our flower clients.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

And they're just yeah, they're just quick check-ins, but it's accountability, which is which is fantastic. I am just so happy that they're focusing on that because, as we all know, it makes all the difference in the world.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

It does, and you look at again, they're trying to develop a habit, and sometimes they feel so far behind in that process that they're terrified to start. Similar to me, changing my eating habits or my exercise habits, right? It's scary, but little small changes. I think Ellie on the screen was like one one bird by bird, small changes are what create the entire habit. And before you know it, you're looking forward to tracking your cogs.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

What I found is that they were behind, right? So they hadn't started until after Valentine's Day, which of course, you know that 30 days is gone, but that's okay. We hit the reset button. That's the key is hit the reset button and let's go again. Then what I suggested they do, and and also our listeners, it's only two months into the new year. Go back to the first of the year because now you're like, oh, I understand how to do this. You don't forget, right? So once it's the repetition, is the mother of learning. So we learn if we start January and go back, then it's like, oh, I understand how easy this is to do. This isn't daunting, this is easy. And um, and then again, start that habit. You just keep going. I agree, totally agree.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

All right, that was temptation building, bundling, habit stacking, temptation bundling, and then the last one was the two-minute rule.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

Two-minute rule.

SPEAKER_02 18:01

What did you do? What was your goal for the two-minute rule?

SPEAKER_00 18:05

The two-minute rule, it's interesting because I don't really do the two-minute rule. I actually use something that Janet from a Canvas Florist told me many years ago, and it's the 30-second rule. Because if you can do it in 30 seconds, do it. Do it. It's like the coffee cup, rinse your coffee cup, put it away. If you're gonna do this, you're gonna do the laundry, throw it in, do it, do that. And a lot of times it goes into being two minutes, but if you just think this is only gonna take me 30 seconds to take this water bottle, finish it, throw it away, or put it in the recycle bed. It's only take gonna take me 30 seconds to do this. So when I think 30 seconds to me is less daunting than two minutes. I mean, two minutes isn't a lot of time, but the same method, yeah. Same method, same method, the same method.

SPEAKER_02 18:50

I uh that reminded me when we did the webinar. I shared one of the most powerful 30-second or 15-second TikToks that literally changed my life. And it was a girl that was talking about people, you know, we all have some form of ADD at some point in our lives because of the fast-paced life. Something that helps her is every time she has something in her hand, whatever it is, she's like, Don't put down, put up. Don't put it down, put it up, like put it away. Put it away. And that is kind of where I was going with this two-minute rule because every one of us, and you know, you can walk in the kitchen and there's 17 cups, and you're like, What do you not know we have a dishwasher? Don't put it down, put it, put it up, put it where it needs to go, and then do it. So, um, but I have started utilizing the two-minute rule for accountability reasons. So, and you've probably noticed on my calendar. So, usually on Sundays, Sunday evenings, I will go to my calendar and then I will go to my the YMCA app, and I've been scheduling my classes because you know I will not just go to the gym on my own, I have to have something fun to go to with a group of people. Yes, right. That's what motivated me. But it doesn't take me more than five minutes, so we're calling it two minutes, and it's actually kind of interesting because my husband will be on his app, I'll be on my what works for you, because we go together a lot to the same kind of classes. There's a couple days that he goes to a different one, like cycling. I don't like that, and I go to another one, but I spend a few minutes on a Sunday going, Where can I put these in? Like instead of my lunch hour, I'm going to the gym for my you know, and it really helps me be accountable because it's so easy to go. Oh, maybe I'll put a meeting right there because I don't want to give up and have it. You have to book it, you have to because they you have to book the classes because they run out of it.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

You need to psychologically schedule that so that you're out. It's like so that I'm gonna put my team shoes on this morning because I'm going to my workout class.

unknown 21:19

Right.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

And some of them aren't till 5 30 or 6 at night. Some of the class, and that's fine too. So having that balance, um, but knowing on Sunday we're gonna sit down and I got my calendar, he's got his, and we're gonna do that. It's really been a game changer.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

I love that, Lori. That is really a great idea. Great use of that two minute rule, too.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

It's like yeah, but I didn't even really realize it was I was using that until I started this process. And I'm like, wait a minute, we talked about this type of thing.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Yeah. The other one, Lori, that we talked about is progress over perfection. It was a three time rule, is and kind of. Talked about that, yes. Yeah, Kelly talked about that. Allow yourself two times for like failure, so to speak, or oh, I didn't get this done or that, but don't do it a third time. So three time rule progress over perfection, give yourself grace, as we usually call it, a couple times and you're like, dang it, I cannot do it. I can get back on track quickly because then it avoids that downward spiral, right? Yep.

SPEAKER_02 22:28

And I actually thought of Ellie this weekend. Uh I think of Ellie all the time, but you know what I mean? I thought of that part of uh the webinar when she brought up the she gives herself three times because on last weekend, Saturday and Sunday, we had just weird stuff we had to do, and I didn't make it to the gym either those days, but we did like a three-mile walk each day, which is still better than nothing. But I remember Sunday evening when I'm scheduled, I'm like, all right, I've had two days of no weight training. I gotta get back on it tomorrow. And and my husband even said Monday after our workout that evening, he's like, Man, we really paid for having those two days off. I'm like, you know what? No, it's okay, it's okay. We because it was harder, the class was harder that night. Yeah, oh yeah, for sure. Like, nope, I give yourself grace because sometimes sitting in your backyard on a Saturday morning drinking coffee is worth it. Yeah, it's yeah, that's right. And I just didn't want to go.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

So anyway, it's all good.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

It is all good.

SPEAKER_00 23:47

What I loved was another ending slide that we had that said, even if we get one percent better each day, we'll end up being 37 times better by the end of the year. I mean, that's just you look at that and you go, wow, wow. Step by step, little by little.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Yep. We actually talked about that. Um, the my our two other co-workers and my daughter and I, we talked about that uh the Monday night when she was giving us, she had a whole slide deck presentation to go through you know, nutrition and be used of the eat age, and and it was so good and so insightful, but she that's what she was saying. You know, don't feel like you have to do it all at once, making ones replacing one thing for the other, and little by little making changes are all good changes. Um, and anyway, it was good, it was very inspiring, and I think um the language that she uses when it comes to nutrition and health instead of diet and weight loss and focusing on the number on this, all of those things, right? That all of us in our generation, that's what how what we were taught as children, as everyone. There was you look fat-free, fat-free, fat-free, everything fat-free. That doesn't really work. So she she was very good. It's it's not we gotta feed our body the nutrients, but anyway, it was really, really good. And I think we were all very we're still very inspired and motivated. Now you know that can change. That always we're gonna have those times, but having accountability, it is a game changer.

SPEAKER_00 25:46

I remember this gosh, this goes back to when my son Tyler, who's going to be 40 after he was born, and I, you know, had extra weight, and you're trying to change things, and I went to a dietitian, so Bailey. So I went to her, she was such a nice lady. I would do a check-in once a month and do all this. And I remember her saying that, you know, it's okay to have french fries. French fries are probably better than a baked potato with nothing on it. She was going through all this, and she said, You can have french fries. She goes, My family, and she had two young children and her husband, we'll go to McDonald's and we'll get a small order of fries. And when we leave, there's still some French fries left in that package. I'll never forget that. I'm like, wow, that's discipline. And she said, you know, I wouldn't leave French fries at McDonald's. And I never forgot that. You're just like, wow. And she said, because you know, it's okay to have some, but you don't have to eat them all. Yeah, like interesting discipline.

SPEAKER_02 26:52

What's interesting, too, about our society and diet culture through the decades. My daughter was saying how when she was working on this master's program, she said, all we did was be trained in how to help people like me, like you, unlearn the diet culture you were raised in. Absolutely, absolutely. And golly, and she's like, you guys, dang, you were not told. I mean, because there were just so many people that bad after. I mean, I remember taking do you remember Dexatrim diet pills? Yep, I do. I was like, this is really sad. Some friends and I were like in 10th grade. Oh, wow. How I mean, you could buy them at Walmart, they were over the counter that and I remember I was not even big, but everybody else was taking them. I mean, this is horrible. So I don't, I don't think they're around anymore.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

That that dietitian I went to actually talked about good fats and bad fats clear back then, though. So it's yeah, it's education was always there, right? We as a society choose, and not that I've always I I don't make great choices, you know, as you know.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

We're we're learning a lot, and it's nice to just focus on okay, what is good for my body, not right a smell like we were like we were used to. So and I think all of us, whether we're we're focusing on nutrition, whether we're focusing on the nutrition and health of your business, right? Looking at what is best for my business, it really helps you filter out all the muck.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

Yeah, so we we just want to encourage everybody, if you want to get a good book, to change your habits. Increasing the awareness of your habits, Atomic Habits by James Claire is a really good book. And the three that we talked about were Habit Stacking, Temptation Bundling, and the Two-Minute Rule. And kind of think about how you can make your life better and take the opportunity to look at those habits and really make things better, like Lori is with her eating every day.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

Yep, yeah, little things. And if someone's listening and they're struggling the same things that I've been struggling, reach out. I could be your accountability person. I will help you. I will talk to you about what works for me, and then you can talk to your own diet engine, right? Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the business and pleasure of flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

We look forward to seeing you next week. So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.