Tips to Open Your Mindset in Managing your Business

Episode 188: There is a lot of buzz about a mindsets and the importance of it in our businesses. Much of what we know and understand comes from studies found in the book Mindset by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.   Lori and Vonda discuss fixed and growth mindsets in relationship to new ideas and ways to grow in your business. Lori shares her own way to decide if an idea is worth sharing, calling it her P.P.P.  It really can be a game changer for anyone filled with ideas and wondering why they are not well received. 
You will walk away with a tool to help you succeed in conversations with fixed mindset individuals. 

Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:04

What is your product? What are you bringing to your boss? What's the product you're telling them about?

SPEAKER_03 0:13

Welcome to the Business and Pleasure of Flowers. We're your hosts, Fondola Fever, and Lori Wilson.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.

SPEAKER_03 0:27

Lori, we're gonna talk about something that has some mixed emotions with it today.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

We are, and it doesn't help the fact that this whole weekend leading. I don't, for some reason, I've been incredibly emotional lately. And I don't know why. I think part of it is one of my children's out of the country. My daughter was traveling. I don't know what's happening to me. I'm just really emotional lately. And over the weekend, I had this complete meltdown. Honestly, Vonda, I don't even know exactly what triggered it. I I wish I could tell you. And I just know at one point, my youngest child, who's 22, he's not a child, he came downstairs and he goes, What is happening? I'm sitting on my husband's lap like an infant, and he's like rocking me. Oh, Lori. Oh, mama's just sad.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

That's like something out of a movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

It was, and I'm like, I'm fine, I'm fine. And so anyway, he cheered me up. He took me to the Barbie movie. He didn't wear pink, but he did take me to the Barbie movie, and we got a large popcorn. I cried three times in the Barbie movie. I didn't think it was gonna make me cry, I thought it was gonna make me laugh. It did make me laugh, but I cried a couple times and then came home and had a stomachache because I ate too much popcorn. But I don't know why I'm so emotional. This researching about mindset made me even more emotional. Because I go both ways in mindset, right?

SPEAKER_03 2:24

Right. Well, first off, let's define as we need to what is mindset, and your mindset is a set of beliefs that shapes how you make sense of the world and yourself. I like that definition. It influences how you think, feel, Lori, feel and behave in any given situation. It means that what you believe about yourself impacts your success or failure.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Yes, yes, and the the key word there being feel for me. I am a feeler deeply to a fault, right? So um I've talked about the book before by Carol Dweck. Um, it was written, I don't even know, over a decade ago. It's called Mindset, the New Psychology of Success. I read it many, many years ago. I have reread it since then. Um, there's been a ton of research on the book. They actually have college courses on the book. It's it's a fascinating study. Um, but she talks about two types of mindset: fixed mindset and growth mindset. And when you read it, you quickly can realize, or at least I could, right? You can realize pretty much which way you lean. But I think when you really sit down and grasp the concept, I think all of us have a little bit of both.

SPEAKER_03 4:06

It did say that in the book, which I thought was interesting. First, let me go back to the book. It is a really hard book. Yes, it is me, because it has small print and there's way too many pages. A hundred too many, too many this and this and this. There's too too much repetition on the number of stories that are in there. So it was a lot. You know me. I'm yes, I'm pretty sure.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

No, it's not a quick read. It is not a quick read. No, it is a hard read. And I will tell you, Vonda, the first time I read it, I did it as a book study with other people, which almost as a class. Got it. So it was quite helpful. Yeah, and we had a facilitator, a professor. It wasn't a a college class, but it was a a a book study. So it was very helpful. Yeah, I could, you know, so you could I could kind of skim those chapters knowing it was going to be reiterated to me when we met back as a group. Um, the other thing I will tell you is I had to use these glasses that I am holding up that are twice as thick and twice as ugly to actually read it because it's so small and I could not see in my normal glasses to read it. So I don't suggest everyone jump out and read the book because I think there's a lot of good articles that summarize it. So I want to get to the definitions between fixed and growth. And then we'll kind of talk about what brought this subject on.

SPEAKER_03 5:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

Um because I was at NextGen when it kind of all popped up. Um, fixed mindset. People with a fixed mindset are more conservative. I'm not really talking political, I'm just talking an overview, conservative in their ways of thinking, and can hardly change their life beliefs. That makes them hard to act in a fast-changing environment of the modern world. A fixed mindset assumes that our personality is given and static, which makes the possibility of success rather a genetically programmed feature. Then there's growth mindset. People with a growth mindset are more flexible and believe that success depends on actions. Therefore, anyone can be great at anything if they put their efforts to it. A growth mindset allows seeing opportunities as a springboard for growth everywhere, even in failures. Right.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

Interesting. Yeah, because there's a few little examples that I had here that not like the long examples in the book. Yeah, I pulled up. It's like either I'm good at this or not. That's my fixed mindset. My growth mindset, I can learn to do anything I want. Yeah. Yeah. Another one, if I don't try, then I won't fail. That's the fixed mindset. And then I only fail when I stop trying, is my growth mindset. So those are just a couple examples, kind of to make it pop into your mind going, okay, I get it.

unknown 7:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:27

And that's why sometimes I think you're it could be both. I mean, and I did it says that in the book, you know, we're a little bit of both, but I'm sure you probably would lean one way or the other. Is that what you're thinking, Lori?

SPEAKER_02 7:40

Yes, but I will tell you it depends on my mood, if I'm being honest. It depends on my frame of mind. This weekend, I will tell you I was 100% fixed mindset, and I needed a snap out of it. Uh, but an example that I read that I thought was a really good example of growth mindset. This guy, he was a he was a vice president of company and he was doing a presentation, and somebody asked him a question about some sort of software programming, and he didn't know the answer to the question, and he was standing in front of hundreds of people, and um, it was very complicated. And how he answered it, and he said he didn't really know why he answered it this way. He said, You know what? I don't know how to do that yet, and he said he doesn't know why he ended it with the word yet, but he did. And when he got off the stage, the CEO was waiting because he was getting, he was gonna be like not the next presenter, but the next presenter. And he took him aside and he said, I'm so glad you said yet at the end of that sentence, because that means you're willing to learn. He said, I would have been very worried if you would have not said the word yet. Yeah, and I was like, Wow, that's that's it right there. It's the people that say yet.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

Do you remember the interview? Our last time we had Bill LaFever on the podcast. He actually said that. That was the new. We asked him what's new, or I don't remember the question, but he said his new thing is, and he said, da la la la yet. And he said, I just add that to the sentence is yet, because there's so much more to learn. And no, I don't know that yet.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

And so it was almost like he he's probably read either read this article, yeah, or has he probably read the book because he probably didn't have a problem reading the book. He's very smart, you know. Yeah, yet. So we all should do that, right?

SPEAKER_03 10:08

It's add that to our mindset, right?

SPEAKER_02 10:12

So the the reason we start talking about this, you and I, we touched on this in one of the podcasts we've done about NextGen was a wonderful presentation at Nextgen. They were talking about communication, and it was it was very interactive. People in the audience were having questions, and someone stood up, this wonderful young man, and he was sharing, he works in a flower shop, and he said, How can I communicate respectfully with my boss, who is a whole different, you know, couple generations older than me. I I'm trying to share with him that there's a different way to do a particular thing that's way more efficient than the way we're doing things now, but he just disregards me because we're doing it the way we've always done it. And I'm getting really frustrated and I as like I don't I'm getting ready to give up. I I actually, Vonda, and I could be wrong, but I for some reason I think they were related also. I want to feel like maybe it was an uncle-nephew thing. I could be wrong there, so don't shoot me if I'm wrong. But it tugged at my heart, and and a lot of people in the room, especially us older people in the room, going, dang, you know, that's a great question because that's a fixed mindset, right?

SPEAKER_03 11:52

How do you one thing I was gonna say, I think fixed and growth mindset is situational too. You were saying depends on your mood. I think it depends on a situation. In this case, it makes me wonder, right, whether the person he works for has obviously a fixed mindset when it comes to that conversation with this young person. Right. Does he have that fixed mindset because he's tried things before that have failed? Right that he's like, you know what, I've been down this road before and I'm not gonna listen again. Right. Um, or what is it? Or is it the approach? Because I think a lot of times, even if you have that, I'm fixed or I'm growth, but I'm a little bit open. If somebody comes to me and just says, you know what, this is just a great thing. I think this is good. We need to change, we need to do this. Whoa, back up a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

A lot of it's the approach, it's all in the approach, 100%, 100%. So let's role play a minute. Okay, let's pretend you are that old person. You're not, you're the owner. How would you want to be approached? And let's say I let's say I'm that idea person.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

Oh gosh, like really this is a stretch, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 13:27

And then I'm always coming to you with ideas, and half of them fail. This is such a stretch, hypothetically, hypothetically. Um, how would that person approach you to make you actually go, huh? All right, let's let's give it a shot.

SPEAKER_03 13:43

First, I would want that person to maybe schedule a time with me, not just go, hey, guess what? Blah blah blah blah blah, right? It's like, hey, Vonda, um, I really I just got back from a conference. I have some really good ideas. Could I have just even a half hour of your time that you and I maybe could discuss a few things?

unknown 14:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:04

Then I'm thinking, first off, that you're coming. I know you're gonna be telling me a few things, right? Or with me what's going on. And so that gives me the time to be able to absorb it, that I don't have 50 other things coming at me at the same time. Right. So that helps. And then also when you come, and Laura, you're very good at this, by the way, you don't just give me the idea, you can tell me how this could be executed. It's not like, oh, they did this and all it's as simple as this and this and this. I would want you to come to me and say, This is the idea, this is how I think it would work into our situation, and this would be the outcome. I think this could work, and I would be right there to put in the extra time and effort to help make this happen. Right. I guess that would be more the way I would see. No, that's really that no, that's really good.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

And you know, it's funny. Um, something I've been trying to do, and I actually shared with Ellie. Uh I think when we were at Nection, I shared this with her. Or maybe it was, I don't know, when, you know, my days and nights all go together. I don't know what day is what. Um, and this is something my husband taught me a long time ago, and I just recently have been trying to be very mindful about it when it comes to our company, Flower Click, because I can get so crazy with idea after idea after idea, you know, and and you're so amazing with accepting the ideas and trying, but this is be this has become my filter. And I think to our listeners, um, if you are a boss or an idea person, it might be helpful. And it's a three-step, it's PPP. So think of it as PPP. Product, plan, and payoff. So your product. What is your product? What are you bringing to your boss? What's the product you're telling them about? What is the plan? How is it? How are you gonna make it? How are you gonna execute it? Who how much labor is involved? How many people does it take? And then what's the payoff? What does it look like? How much is it gonna make us? How much money is it gonna make us? And when we look at those three things, when I filter stuff, here's an example. Cammy and I did this just a couple weeks ago. I cannot, again, I can't even remember what the product was, but she was wanting to do something, but she was really thinking about it. And she and I met, and we what I said, let's run it through this PPP. And you know what, Wanda? We did, and we got stuck on that middle P and the amount of labor from a flower click employee standpoint, the amount of money it would have cost in labor because it would have taken over 50% of our employees for such a little payoff. She's like, This is a dumb idea. And we start laughing, and we were like, This is this most simple, yeah, lovely little equation. Why have we not been? I was like, I know it, I know it. PPP. It's so easy, but it's really you have no idea how many ideas I have not brought to you because thank you, Mark Wilson.

unknown 18:04

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

I mean, his his are a little more intense. Oh, yeah, right. But but it has it's helped in the mindset going, hey, I don't have to throw every idea. Let me do a little bit of the brain work here and run it through an equation before I run it to people and then they run it through another equation, right?

SPEAKER_03 18:32

And then anyway, that's just my little tip. I think it's excellent because based on what I said, it's kind of the same type of thing, right? Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

Yes. And so if I went to you and said, hey, I would love to share something with you, and an idea that might really be beneficial for Flower Click. I did run it through our little PPP equation. And from my standpoint, it lines up, but I would wait and see what you think. So if I if I brought it to you from that standpoint, you'd probably be more open to go, all right, let me hear what you have to say. Because if I could show you those, it might make more sense.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

Oh, totally, it would make more sense. And I would challenge anyone who is a boss who's listening to this to really think about that. I love that, Lori, the PPP, and have that conversation maybe in a staff meeting next time. Yeah. You know, you know, I am open to new ideas. I'm open to what's going to be the best for this company, but I'd like you to run it by a filter because I I love it that you guys are out there getting new education and having ideas and interacting with other shops and other employees. But, you know, let's look at the PPP. What's the product? What's the plan, and what's the payoff? Because it has to work for each of you individually and us overall as a company. As a company.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

I mean, you think of, you know, I talked to some people, some flower shops who do some weddings that they end up barely breaking even because they get caught up on that middle P. And I'm like, gosh, if they would have run it through this little simple plan, yeah, they would have been able to go back and either said, I gotta have 30% more or go down the street to the other flower shop.

SPEAKER_01 20:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

Because the labor or the, you know, whatever is gonna be too much. So I know we're getting off often mindset, but that is my little quick tip.

SPEAKER_03 20:49

Well, that does though relate to mindset.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Because for sure, it helps.

SPEAKER_03 20:56

The the whole key to a growth mindset is that somebody who's listening to those things obviously has to be open, but I do think even if I have more of a fixed mindset and somebody comes to me with this, the person with the fixed mindset is gonna go, because they're the reasoners. Yes, they're lot, they are they're logical, they're they're that's where they are, and now this person with a real growth mindset is coming to the fixed mindset, perhaps, right, and saying, Oh, there's some logic here, and now I'm gonna be my ears are gonna be opened a little bit more, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:38

And and I want to say this I don't want anyone listening that is that is sitting there thinking I'm a fixed mindset, that that's a necessarily bad thing. I'm married to a fixed mindset by nature. It's hard for him to be growth mindset. He he's gotta work at it, just like we all have certain personalities. Types and we have to work at other things, right? It's an exercise, a mental exercise that we have to be aware of.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

It's not necessarily a negative, it's it's truly an awareness, I think is it is an awareness the key. Yes. Need to be aware that your more fixed mindset, and that the first thing that when people come to you, you go, no, that's not gonna work. No, right. Right. And try to listen first and allow yourself. I think that's it. Right. Is allowing yourself for that growth.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

A hundred percent. That's that's it. There's one more thing, you know. You know, I love my TikTok. There is a lady that I listen to, and I've actually shared it with Cammy, and I know she does too. Listen to, I try to listen to her every morning to start my day when I can. She does her her TikTok handle is called Mindset Minute Queen. And every morning she does a 15-second mindset minute. And I wait, let me see if I can find her because she is the most beautiful mindset. I just cannot tell you how wonderful it is to have her start your day. I know you can hear me.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

Come on in, come on in. Let's take some time for a mindset. Let's inhale. Exhale. One day you will tell the story of how you overcame what you're going through right now, and it will become someone else's survival guide. So keep going and make it a great day.

SPEAKER_03 24:06

That's great. That's great.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

That's what you're doing. She's my favorite. I just love her. Every day, I mean, they're not even 15 seconds, but starting your morning every day with some sort of little mindset. You know, we talk about affirmations and sales prep school, you know, positive affirmations. Playing little mindset minute queen in your in your flower shop for everyone to take a deep breath. Getting your mindset straight for something positive makes all the difference in the world. Love that, Lori. Isn't she cute? And she always has fun glasses on every day. Some sort of fun, bright colored, crazy glasses.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

You could do that. You could be the mindset queen.

SPEAKER_02 24:56

I could, except on times I'm sitting on my husband's lap crying.

SPEAKER_03 25:02

But you know what? That's the reality, though. That sometimes is the mindset. If you think of what she just said, you're gonna be sharing that story. Good, and somebody's gonna learn from it.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

I'm hoping maybe somebody will listen to this and it gives them permission. It's okay to have a meltdown. Oh, we all do. Just to be the key is to have it around someone you're safe with that will say, Come here, it's okay. I don't know why you're crying, you're kind of weird, but come here. It's you know, don't know. Mama's just sad.

SPEAKER_03 25:41

I don't know. My mother always said, give yourself five minutes, only five minutes, though, because you can't dwell in that. No, right. You can you can have a meltdown, you can be extremely sad. Yep. But then after the five minutes of just sobbing, or that extreme, yep, overwhelm feeling of being sad, then it's like, okay, yeah, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_02 26:07

And that's kind of what it was. It wasn't, yeah, it's kind of weird when you have oh well. I don't know, you probably never had it's uh overwhelming, it wasn't even like a specific sad, it was just this overwhelming feeling. I can't I can't, and but I felt so much better when it was over. It's weird, it's just a crazy, crazy feeling. But it's okay to it's okay, it's okay to cry, it's a feeling, and I have big feelings, so it is what it is, it is what it is, and your mindset was much better than my mind through that. It is, it is my mindset, and and my mind was a little more clear when it was all over. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the business and pleasure of flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa. We look forward to seeing you next week.

SPEAKER_03 27:12

So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.