Leadership Knowledge and Skills: What's the Difference and Why it Matters

Episode 231:  Lori and Vonda delve into the distinction between leadership knowledge and skills, emphasizing the importance of understanding this difference. They shed light on the crucial role of action in effective leadership and share personal anecdotes to illustrate their points. They also explore the power of the phrase "Be the leader you wish you had" as a guiding principle for taking action and striving for more as a leader. Tune in to gain insights and practical strategies for becoming a stronger and more impactful leader in your professional and personal life.

Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

She shares all of it and everyone sits there and it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you walk out the door, are you gonna throw those notes in the trash?

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Welcome to the business and pleasure of flowers. We're your hosts, Vonda LaFever and Lori Wilson.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda. Good morning, Vonda. Hey Lori, good morning. Okay. This doesn't really well, it kind of has to do with what we're talking about today. We're gonna talk a little bit about leadership, which is, you know, one of our favorite topics. We do like to talk about leadership. Yes. But do you know what else is one of my favorite topics? Animals. Animals, yes, yes, but where I watch a lot of animals is on the TikTok. The TikTok, it is, yes. But I want to talk about one of my favorite creators right now on TikTok. And it has nothing to do with animals. Ooh, well, that's surprising. Okay. I'm intrigued. This guy, fella. I love to listen to him at night. It's like soothing. It's almost like a bedtime story time. He lulls me to sleep. The other time I like to listen to him is if I'm having like a stressful moment in my day. I'm not kidding you. I woke him up. He reads poetry like parts of Shakespeare. He'll even do Edgar Allan Poe. He does really obscure poetry, but with a really southern accent, and he's got a deep voice. It is beautiful. His name is Freddie Fulton, but he goes by a sonnet in a bonnet. So he reads a sonnet with a bonnet. He always wears one of these like hair knit bonnets on. I adore him. I love him. He's handsome, he's sweet. And at the end, he always says, God is so good. God is so good. Y'all have a good day. And I'm just like, I will, I will, Freddie. I'm gonna have a good day. So if anyone needs a little pick me up or just a soothing kind of voice, listen to a sonnet in a bonnet. That is hilarious. It's so good. Wow. So good. And what it's done to me in the last couple months, it has reminded me of how much I love poetry. Love it. Okay. Because I did a lot of poetry in all my English classes when I taught and when I was in high school, I studied a lot of different poets. And I'm like, gosh, I forgot about this poet. And I just love it. I love it. And so it's really, really, really good. People keep telling him that he needs to record an audiobook of poetry.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Well, probably because if you are saying he really draws you in and he's got that voice that really keeps your attention. It's so good. And it's always uplifting, which is what we need both sometimes in the middle of the day and before we go to bed. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

He's just he's an encourager, and they're short, they're not like super long. I wish they were. People in the comments will say, do a long like bedtime story. I would pay. I would pay to have you do bedtime stories for me. So oh, there you go. Anyway, so if Freddie's listening, that's my shout out to Freddie Fulton. A sonnet in a bonnet.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

Well, you and the talk, you and the tick tock. There are, you know what? I there are good sides of everything.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

That's right. Well, if you look for the good sides of everything, you look for the good sides of the bad.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

Yeah, there's some quick scroll, just keep scrolling if you get some negative stuff on there. I know there's bad stuff on there. It doesn't show up on my my happy feed. That's good. That's what you need. Mine is filled with with goats and dogs and cats and sonnets. Yeah. So anyway, okay, we are talking about leadership today. We are. Yeah. And this kind of stemmed from well, we had a shop talk last week. It's a great favorites. Like one of our members said, best day of the month. I know I love it. Shout out to Maureen. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

Um, I think it was Tracy, was it? Tracy Parks kind of gave you back the words you you had told her and next gen meeting. Yeah. I think that's where when she was starting to share, she was like, Well, Lori, it started because you told me be the leader you wish you had. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

Yeah. And I learned that a long time ago in some book, and I can't remember what book I read that in, and it kind of hit me hard. And she was referring to when we were at Next Gen. She and I were sitting next to each other, and we were talking, and I brought it up. And also there was a girl at Next Gen, she's an employee of a store, and I can't remember what store, it doesn't matter, but she was talking about her struggle trying to uh she found it hard to have her boss as her mentor because they were two very different people, just very different, and seemed to me that the boss kind of had one foot out the door, if you will, was kind of detached from the employees, wasn't a real great role model, really, just kind of you know, do your job type more of a managed but not led her team. You need managers, but wasn't a great leader. Like, hey, let me walk you through these. And so she'd come to her with ideas, and the owner was like, Yeah, we're not gonna change type thing. And so this girl was very frustrated when she was like, I don't have any kind of leader, you know, to be. I don't have someone to follow. And she was, and I said, So be the leader, you know, be the leader you wish you had and let other people follow you. And that was one of those moments that I got to actually use what I learned the hard way, too, because we've all been there before, and you're like, I don't know where to turn, I don't know who to guide me, I need guidance.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

You're like, maybe I should need to be the guide. Yes. And that's what Tracy was so proud about, is because she was stepping into that transition.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

She ran with her mother's yeah, she's amazing. I love her so much. She's one of the most authentic humans I have ever met, and I just adore her. And I I was so honored that she even shared that information because she had a rough one. She had some employees that had a death in the family, the week of mother, like she had a lot going on, and she was like, I had a couple of choices. I could sit here and cry, or I could be the leader I wish I had, and that's what she did.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

Yeah, and so that's what we were gonna talk about today. Yeah, being that leader, because there really is a distinction between leadership knowledge and the skills, the leadership knowledge and the leadership skills, yeah, yeah, and you've talked about that so many times about the the skill and the will, and that's yeah, about the same, you know, when you're learning, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

Well, I I always think of going back to teaching, there were those old school teachers that were more of a do as I say, not as I do type teachers, and then there were those of us that were like action-oriented teachers, you know, never sat at my desk, always walking around, always seeing how can I model different types of teaching. This person is an auditory learner, this person is a phonetic learner, this person is, you know, like what do I need to do? And the other type next door is just like, do the worksheet, don't ask questions, like, and that's kind of what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

It is that that really defines that well because you were modeling to your students how you can help them in the best way you can, rather than just say, Right, yeah, right, yeah, I love that. This this is an article that was in LinkedIn and it's written by Hewlett Rand, and it was just really about the differences. And the first one was that leadership knowledge is the foundation to leadership, effective leadership. And and we know that, but it's like read the book, I know what it takes. You go to all of those leadership classes, right? Yeah, I go to workshops, I go to this, I wanted to learn how to be an effective leader. And so you're learning all that information. And then the next step is you're going to apply that, which is the hard part, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:49

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

What do you do with it?

SPEAKER_02 9:52

You know, who talks about that a lot in her book is Dr. Price. Does in the all of her books that, but the especially the empathy book, she, you know, she talks about speaking in her leadership and diversity training conventions or summits when she goes into companies and she shares all of it, and everyone sits there and it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you walk out the door, are you gonna throw those notes in the trash? Or are you gonna are they gonna sit on your desk for two months and then go back to normal, right? It I mean, it's no different than going to to church on a Sunday, right? When you walk back out, are you just gonna go to lunch and go see you next Sunday? I did it. You never check it off my list. Or maybe implement, model what you just learned.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

Yeah. Yeah, that's the hardest part is taking it and executing what you've learned and finding that really a self-awareness, because that's what leadership is about. And you've talked about that many times, is taking what you learned and making that a time for you to learn more about yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses, and what you can do to apply those and to to change. And I know Dr. Nicole Price has talked about that before, about you she didn't think that you could teach this, right? Isn't that what she said? You she didn't think that this is a a learned right.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

You're born with empathy or not. You're just you're right at it or you don't until she started doing the research. Yeah, absolutely. When I think about like flower shop managers, owners, I'm trying to put myself in their shoes in these kind of situations. And going back to like Tracy's situation, there was crisis there, and she she did, you know, so many times when you're there in the midst of a busy holiday, right? Or prom weekend or whatever, something always goes wrong. The cooler breaks down, or how many times did we see in our Facebook group delivery drivers didn't show up? Everybody was in desperate need, they were begging their relatives, like I saw that so many times, like begging the relatives come. They get in the car themselves, like you be that person, you just do it, right? You take care of the problem and you lead and you keep your head. You and I have talked about this as parents. We both were this way. Something happened to our child. We both would deal with it, and then we fall apart when it was over. Yes, right, right. Like whereas there's people that like would just freak out during the whole part. You and I were like, It's okay, we're gonna get it, and then once you know they're gonna be okay, you kind of go to your room, you're like, Oh my god, what could have happened to my like after?

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

Yeah, some people do it during, but we knew we had to like, no, we we have to uh be in control there.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

And we didn't realize it at the time that that was leadership, right?

SPEAKER_02 13:12

But you don't know it, but I have to think that was modeled. I think my mom was that way, your parents had to be that way. Yeah, it had to been modeled, it was been modeled to us, and then afterwards the what ifs come through, and you were like, Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

And I think that when we bring that back to a flower shop owner, and like you're saying, that they've gone through whether it be a big holiday, could be a wedding, you know, wedding or events. Yeah, yeah, you know, what do they say? That's Murphy's Law. Something always happens, and you just be ready for it. And you you learn to think on your feet. But every time you have to remember that you are the leader and people are watching you, watching you. They're watching and the way you react, whether it's to the bride or to somebody who owns the venue or to it's a customer. Gosh, they're watching. Oh, this person, I thought they were a good leader, but oh my gosh, what happened here? Yeah, you know, and we're human. I mean, I'm not saying that we don't fall sometimes, but golly, you just have to realize that, you know, yeah, go in your room and cry afterwards.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

Yeah, we have one of our members who we both love dearly, she has told me before that she has bad days, of course, we all do. And there have been times she's gone back to her employees and called a meeting real quick when no customers are there. And she's like, I'm sorry, I have been a B-word, I am so sorry. I've just added like that's leadership. Admitting you're just having a bad day, that's leadership. It's important to admit those kind of things because if you're having one of those days and people are like, Golly, what's wrong with her? And you're not approachable that day, and typically you are, and you kind of develop that moody reputation from an employee perspective, that is scary.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

Well, walls go up, walls go up. I am not trusting that I can have this relationship anymore.

SPEAKER_02 15:27

I can't why would I want to follow a leader that is tentative in their leadership, right? So be okay with coming back and going, I'm sorry. I am a crazy person today. I am so sorry. Give me some grace and I apologize. Everybody gets a snicker bar and I get two, but you all get one. Like, whatever. Yeah, you know, and just be okay with it because we all, like you said, we all have those days.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

And I think one of the hardest parts of being a leader is hitting things head on. If there's something that's happening in your store, in your environment, in your work atmosphere, whether you're face to face with one another, whether it's a wholesaler could be that you're having a situation with, right? Don't just let it fester. Don't let it just go, oh, well, it's their fault, or you know, put the blame somewhere. You have to hit it on because it's only going to get worse. And that shows that you are the leader, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

Again, on TikTok, I giggled because it was like five signs that you were raised in a dysfunctional family. Oh, and I was like, first of all, I 100% believe every family is dysfunctional and sidebar, funny, funny story. When I had only been married like, I don't know, four or five years. My husband and I were at this couples church retreat with all of our friends, you know, our whole Sunday school class. This just shows you the difference between men and women. And the speaker was talking, and he was, it was all about, you know, how marriage is you're bringing in different families, and you know, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, how the question was, how many of you feel like you were raised in a dysfunctional family? Every woman's hand went up, every man was like, what? And I'm like, and he starts laughing the guy, and he's like, exactly. Every man, and the number one sign is denial.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

There you go. I've never heard that before. That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

So funny, but I'm like in a dysfunctional leader working space, just not talking about things, yeah, just sweeping things under the rug, just pretending like things happen and never discussing them. Or there's a problem, nobody wants to discuss it or deal with it.

unknown 18:20

Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

And so you just pretend it's not there. It's literally the elephant in the room.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

Well, when you said sometimes something happens, you don't want to talk about it. Sometimes there's things you don't want to, right? Little things. You're just like, sure. No big deal. But the elephant in the room is something that has to be right. Okay, let's take it a little bite at a time, just like we know, that's how we eat that elephant. But what is it that we can do to make sure that that air is cleared so that oh gosh, otherwise it just gets worse.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Right, right. But if you think about it, if a manager knows there's tension in shop and a between employees, and that is a let's say it starts small, but that tension isn't not confronted and dealt with because you're like, I want to deal with that, it'll go away. And then more and more and more. It just keeps building. That's bad. That's not good leadership. If you get it when it's small and address it, hopefully, yes, it will be you can solve.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

You can solve otherwise it gets so big and somebody's gonna leave because they're not gonna do it anymore. And then you're setting yourself up for a disaster because and that's hard because we've discussed that before. It's hard for that leader to keep their eye on it all the time. Where if I have a Lori with me, right, my Lori is paying attention around me and she's like, Oh, did you see? Somebody's acting funny.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Yeah, yeah, we need to figure out what's going on here. Somebody's acting funny, yeah, yeah. So it's just it's interesting, it's harder for us because we're virtual, yet it's easier. We don't really have drama because we're virtual.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Right. But that's why I kind of threw in the wholesaler, right? Or a delivery service or someone else, because yes, when we're right in the shop and we can see people and we can kind of feel a little bit of tension, that's going on. But a lot of times, you know, maybe the driver from the wholesale house said something to you because, oh boy, they were talking about so-and-so. And you're like, oh, really? Why? Yeah, what's going on? Yeah. You know, so listening in other areas or when you're on Zoom calls with different committees, there's so many things that you know we will just go, oh, well, that's just their attitude. Well, you know, sometimes you have to pick up the phone afterwards and call and say, Hey, are you okay? Is there something that I did, or is there something we need to do to work things out? Because otherwise, the next time you get on another call, here we are again. Here we are again. Yep. And it doesn't help anybody in those situations.

SPEAKER_02 20:55

No, it doesn't. I was in a Zoom meeting once. It wasn't with Flower Click, I think it was with SAF. And, you know, I get migraines as the whole world knows. And someone that was in that meeting with me reached out afterwards and said, Are you okay? You didn't seem to be yourself.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

And I thought, what a lovely person.

unknown 21:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:21

But they and also, God, did I look that bad? And I forget because you and Cammy and Ellie have all said, Yes, you do look that bad when you have a migraine. And I don't notice it because I'm blurry-eyed. And even if I don't take the media, it's not the medicine, it's just like my face changes. Because the minute I get on, usually Cammy's like, you have a headache.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

Yeah. And you can't see it as well with you because you have glasses. Because somebody who doesn't have glasses, you can really see it in their eyes. But you, we kind of have to go, like, is it the glasses or is it something? Cammy says.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

That I rub my eyes a lot, which I didn't even notice. She said that I'm I'm rubbing my eyes, listeners, you can't see me. But I'm I like do this. I'm like, yeah, because you're massaging it. I guess so. But I don't even notice I'm doing it. It's just crazy. It's funny. But my point is awareness. That person was noticing little thing. And I'm like, wow. That person doesn't even work with me. They know me just from being at places randomly. I mean, it's not like we see each other day to day.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

But isn't that crazy? That I think that's wonderful. I mean, that's somebody I think maybe took your empathy class.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

Probably. Yeah, they were. They were at it.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

Like I'm gonna pay attention. Yeah. And we always are told to keep our eyes open around our surroundings. Yeah. But a lot of times that surrounding doesn't necessarily say, oh, keep a an eye around the people in your surroundings. Exactly. And and see if there's someone who needs help or that you need to help in a leadership position. So yeah. I thought that was pretty amazing myself. I think as we slow down after the month of May and as we go into the summer, this is a kind of a really good time to do a self-check as a leader. Take a look within yourself and say, okay, am I that leader that I want to be? Kind of like Tracy was saying, you know, I'm gonna be that leader that I've always wanted. And you're saying, well, maybe I'm falling short in this or that. And maybe there's a great book, like we're talking about leading with empathy from Dr. Nicolson. You know, so many different things that maybe you need to just do a refresher. Yeah. And because, like, hey, this summer I am going to strengthen my leadership skills and I'm gonna model those wherever I am when I'm out in public, whether I'm doing some kind of a position at work or something with your community. I mean, there's so many times that we are leaders that we need to really step up and make sure that we're the leader that we want to be.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

I also think summer is a good time to look around and see which one of your employees are like those natural evolving leaders to kind of tap into those people and that's really a good thought. Yeah. Yeah. And see, maybe have, you know, we always talk about those little quick check-ins, those five-minute check-ins. And when you have those, maybe ask a couple questions, which ones are interested in in being leadership. Because if you have another person on your team that is a natural leader, an evolving leader, that's more help for you.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

Oh, absolutely. You know, and this is a good time as we're going into summer though, but look back to what happened during Mother's Day and prom and all those. Who is there anybody who stepped up? Yes, exactly. Who stepped up and you're like, oh, that surprised me. Yes. And how can I help grow that confidence and leadership in that person?

SPEAKER_02 25:19

Yep. I agree. I agree. That's a that is a great idea. Let's see who stepped up and who didn't.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

And it might be somebody you thought was going to be that next leader, yeah, and you're disappointed. But you know, either have that conversation with that person and ask them if that's something they're really interested in because they voice that to you, or go with the person who really did step up.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Love it. All right, that's all the leadership I got. I'm making it out. Lead me out, Vonda.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the business and pleasure of flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

We look forward to seeing you next week. So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.