Leadership Wisdom for Graduates: 6 Habits to Ditch for Success

Episode 232: Graduation ceremonies are happening (or have already!) for 8th graders, high school students, and college graduates, hosts Vonda and Lori offer not only heartfelt best wishes but also valuable advice for the future leaders, managers, and individuals stepping into new chapters of their lives. Drawing from their personal experiences, they dive into the importance of self-awareness and understanding certain habits that may hinder one's growth as a leader. In this episode, they discuss six habits that leaders should recognize and let go of in order to become more effective and successful in their roles. Tune in to gain insightful wisdom and actionable tips to elevate your leadership skills.

Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:03

I think that's why we like to team teach when we're on stage too. I love to teach the feedback part.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Welcome to the business and pleasure of flowers. We're your hosts, Vonda LaFever and Lori Wilson.

SPEAKER_04 0:23

And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Lori just returned from my granddaughter's eighth-grade graduation. It was just so cool to be a part of all that. That is so exciting.

SPEAKER_04 0:43

And I know it was, and I'm so excited, and I have so many questions because I know it was a big deal, but I'm laughing because yesterday Ellie was saying that Tyler, her fiance, and that one of his friends was like, My child is what, seven years old, and I've already been to five graduations. I know, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:05

Every year.

SPEAKER_04 1:06

I'm like, I only remember having a 12th grade graduation and a college graduation. But no, eighth grade is a big deal. You're going to high school. For some places, some places, yeah. Because some people are like, Yeah, I didn't have an eighth grade graduation. I didn't. None of my kids didn't, but they were public school, and your granddaughter is in a private school.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

And yeah, she's in the Catholic school, and so is it Sacred Hearts. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

And in West Des Moines, Iowa. And it was just it was just really cool. Yeah. You know.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

And you got to do little flowers for her her friends, or what did you do?

SPEAKER_00 1:41

The school every year does flowers for the graduates. So a boutonier for the boys and a cursage is what they usually do for the girls. And we're like a little one on because of course they have a budget and they have to pay for them. But this year, of course, we could do wholesale flowers. Because grandma, right?

SPEAKER_02 2:04

So they got to carry little bouquets.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

They carried little bouquets, little three roses with little baby spread because that's the cool thing anymore. And then the cute little guys with suits on. They were so handsome, so handsome. And so they had little spray roses with hypericamberry on a magnet. And it was cool.

SPEAKER_04 2:25

I all of the parents got a kick out of the floral part too. And and it maybe reminded them just how beautiful flowers are and how important flowers are at events.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

I think they did because everyone commented to Erica, my daughter-in-law, like, oh my gosh, these are so beautiful. And it was interesting because the teachers said they did not want the girls to have a handheld because they just get left everywhere. And there wasn't one flower left around. They were holding them. There was a bouton ear that had fallen off the magnet on the floor. And I'm like, oh my gosh. And I picked it up, and there was a little guy over there. And I'm like, did you lose your flower? And he's like, Oh, oh, where's my flower? And he was it was very with the girl. And I'm oh, did you like it? And so we put it back on, but it was that's so cute. Yeah, so cute.

SPEAKER_04 3:25

Wearing a little boutonier, so wearing his bouton ear. So anyway, it was it was I want to talk about your little gift that you made for her because you worked very hard on it, and I think it's amazing, and it makes me laugh when I think about like what I got for graduation in high school because my parents loved me dearly, but I'm quite sure I got luggage, and I remember I got a set of sheets for my dorm. Of course, you had to have your dorm. And I mean, all my friends got the same stuff. I know it's how rich or poor you were. You got a suitcase, not one with wheels, because we didn't have those. You got like a regular one with just like a handle. But anyway, what did you get?

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Well, it was a multi-parts, right? So I had uh a box, a memory box made, had her name on it, and the year I put 2028 because that's when she'll graduate from high school. And so it's like a memory box. And in that, thanks to you, I had little information on how to create a vision board. Yeah. Yeah, how to do that, and little stickers and some little accessories for her to help her, and journals and about journaling and the importance of journaling. And the third one was write a letter to yourself. Yes, your 18-year-old self, or whenever you're graduating from high school. So instructions on how to do that and all the information and put it in this envelope and then seal it and then put it in another envelope, give it to your dad, and he'll bring it back out when you graduate from high school. So those were the three things that were in her box, as well as a flash drive that could be put into her phone with a special message in there. I had reached out to all of her close family members, her other grandpa, her mom and her dad, her sister, her aunts and uncles, and asked them to do a little audio message of, you know, congratulations and what their advice to her as she moved on to high school. And so I put those all together and made a little podcast.

SPEAKER_04 5:36

I love it so much, like little words of wisdom. Did she listen to it in front of everyone?

SPEAKER_00 5:42

That evening, her mom and dad and I were there with her sister, and so we listened to it. And her dad, say or my son, said, You could pull this out and listen to it once a month, you know. Just listen to what all these people who love you have to say. Yeah, it was great. It was really great. I hope she does.

SPEAKER_04 6:01

I hope she remembers in those times when being a teenager gets really hard, those moments when you're in your room by yourself and you have those insecurities popping up. I hope if she doesn't remember, her parents will remind her to pop that in. Because the people that truly, truly love you, and the ones that are gonna be with you the rest of your life, like those school friends, they're great, but a lot of them are gonna be gone out of your life. Only a very few of them are gonna remain in your life. People on that podcast that are speaking into your life now, they're gonna be with you forever.

SPEAKER_00 6:43

Right. Yeah. Her uncle Tai Tai said, you know, in high school there's drama, a lot of drama kind of thing, you know. It was just cute because it was so true. So true. That's so good. And that's just eighth grade graduation. Think all the high school graduations that have happened and college. There's so many words of wisdom that are being so many, yeah, shared with all their loved ones this time of year. That's just like, wow, yeah, I know things we've heard before, right? Right, and you kind of are reminding ourselves.

SPEAKER_04 7:18

Well, I was thinking about it last night, kind of joking, just generational wisdom. This generation, and we we're at such a different level, kind of parenting, like we're so into even as grandparents, we're way more into speaking life and encouragement into the younger generation and reminding them how great and important they are. But again, like I'm thinking words of wisdom. My dad would always say, if I was down and depressed, he'd go, keep you in gate up.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Like, that's what he would say.

SPEAKER_04 7:59

Keep your what? In gate, in gate, the back of a pickup truck, yeah, you put down is called the in gate. Okay, Lord, just keep you in gate up.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

That was my encouragement. And I'm like, what? That was okay. Okay, daddy's okay, daddy. But I mean, like, that was my words of wisdom. It's all I knew.

SPEAKER_04 8:29

I was trying to think of wonderful, deep meaning encouragement. My parents had were great, but it was much more of a suck it up. Yep. I mean, you were raised that way too, I think.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

I think mine was just you can do that.

SPEAKER_04 8:51

You got this, you can do this, you can do that, toughen up, toughen up, yeah, toughen up and not in a mean way. It wasn't like don't cry. It was toughen up. Like this world is hard. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:08

It's just a different type of wisdom.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Like you said, it's not that they didn't care, it's not that they didn't didn't want us to excel. It just was different times.

SPEAKER_04 9:21

It's just different times and different personalities, all of those, how they were raised, right? It's I guess. I don't know. I don't know. It's just funny. I mean, I love my dad. He's great and he taught me lots of things, but that's all I could come up with when we we were talking about things that we were taught were great advice. But it's funny because I passed that on to my kids and we joke about it, and like it's in their head, like, well, in gate up.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

My dad would always say, Hard work and dedication will get you where you need to go. Well, so that was pretty good education.

SPEAKER_04 9:58

Wrong.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Pretty good advice way back then, but better than mine. Better than the end gate. I will have to say that. Or don't take any wooden nickels.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

That's the other one. That's a big one. Oh, geez.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

There's there's there's other ones I'm sure could pop up, but I just uh yeah, one that I think it was Ellie who shared with Leighton, and that was don't wait for things to happen to you. Yeah. You need to go out and look and see the world and take those opportunities and make them your own. Right. And I mean, those are the kind of things you tell a high school kid, yeah, you know, going on to college, but you know, years ago, but everything is so much yeah, happened so much sooner for sure.

SPEAKER_04 10:46

One that I always think of, and this is not one my parents said to me, because they weren't big risk takers, they were very safe people, but one that I always have had in me is you know, the feeling of it's a saying of the thought of what if you fail, but then the next sentence, but what if you fly? You know, and never forget that. Never forget that, but what if you don't? You know? What if you never try? Right, right. I mean, failing, we learn from failure. You and I have talked about that many times on here, you know, and so I think perhaps what I've tried to teach my kids, don't be afraid of failure. I mean, unless you blatantly fail a class because of your own irresponsibility, you know. But if you are trying something that you worked your rear end off, right? Yes, and you failed, at least you tried and you know, well, I got it out of my system. What did I learn from it? And move on. So, what we found, you and I, what we thought would be kind of cool today, is to talk about some advice or wisdom that we would pass on to small business owners or small flower shop owners or just humans, right? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 12:28

You found a great article about leaders, and then we could pass along to Yeah, leaders we interchange with business owners because I think every business ownerslash manager is gonna have to lead their team well, right? And some of these you and I laugh because when we read them, we were like taking them to heart.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

Oh my gosh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:52

Because you were like, oh gosh, I gotta write this down for myself.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:57

I mean, it's really something just so number one was expecting other people to always understand you.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

This was the one I was laughing at because I'm like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04 13:14

Yeah, all new ideas need to overcome old thinking. So, Vonda, why would you start laughing?

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Well, because it this says when you're trying to do something different, anticipate that you'll irritate others. I don't realize that I would be irritating others because and the other is the truth is everyone perceives information through the window of their own beliefs. Yeah. So I think everybody thinks like I do. You know, you just think that everybody thinks the same way you do, and if they don't, they should. Right. Right. So when you're trying to change those thoughts or even change processes, even at a flower shop, you you've got to realize wait a minute, you know, these people don't want to change, or they they're not seeing your vision, and so you're irritating them. Yeah, you really are truly irritating them. And so you have to take a step back and go, okay, let me explain and try to get them to understand and get on the same page and ask questions first before you move forward and try not to irritate them. Right, right.

SPEAKER_04 14:26

I think it's funny when he talks about number one, point expect to be much understood, right? And then the next thing is anticipate, you'll irritate. Yeah. I was like, oh, I like that little slogan. Just anticipate, you'll irritate. We even see this if we throw out new trendy designs.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Oh, yes, we did, right?

SPEAKER_04 14:51

I mean, just something as small as that. People are like, wait, what in a bag? What is this nonsense? Until they start understanding, until they start seeing it more and more in other places, until you do a video on how to design. Like, anticipate, you'll irritate. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

It's it's our new slogan.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Our new slogan. Join flower click.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

We anticipate, we'll irritate. Oh, that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Exactly. Exactly. So I love it.

SPEAKER_04 15:34

So we expect people not to understand you. If you have a dream of opening a flower shop, right? And your parents are like, you're crazy, you have no money, your background is in whatever, you're a nurse. It's okay. But you don't have to expect them to understand your dream. It's your dream. If you have a good solid business plan and know you can do it, and you are in an age-appropriate level to make your own decisions, do it.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

And that's what it says. Get your head down, work on your mission, deliver results you can be proud of.

SPEAKER_05 16:14

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

Lori, let's take a quick break to hear a little bit about Flowerclick. FlowerClick's expertise is your online store, your website. We create and professionally photograph current, trendy designs and add them to your website. Just like your physical shop, you have to change out the displays on your website. We do that for you. We merchandise the products on your website to entice customers to buy from you. It'll make you look great, you'll sell more at a higher price. And did I mention those are profitable designs? Your website is your best salesperson. And there's so much more to FlowerClick, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention our tight-knit community of members. We have like-minded business owners who respect and really want to help one another. Our members are amazing, which drives us to do all we can for their success. Don't underestimate the power of what FlowerClick can do for you. Very good.

SPEAKER_04 17:16

The next one. This one is mine. This is the one I had to write down. Explaining yourself. Okay. You do not need to explain everything you do. I tend to be an over-explainer. And you know this. I've gotten better at this through therapy. I've gotten better at this. And it kind of aligns with the first one. When people don't understand me, I feel like, oh gosh, I need them to understand me. So I keep going and going and going to make them understand me. And what happens is going back to the first one, they aren't ever going to understand me because their brain doesn't work like my brain.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Yeah. Yeah. But you want it to.

SPEAKER_04 18:06

But I want to. So the only thing I can do is I need to shut it off and stop caring and just respect the fact that they don't. They're either gonna respect me and go, okay, I don't agree, but I love you, and that's cool. Good luck. Or they're gonna go, you're an idiot. And you know what? If they do, that's fine. They probably weren't a great relationship to be in in the first place. I like explanations get in the way of execution. So if I spend all my time explaining, I have no time to plan and go forward with the process.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

But the next one is the perfect. Those who matter won't mind. Those who mind, they don't matter. Yeah. I mean, think of that. Yeah. No, that's really so true. Yeah. I know. So true.

SPEAKER_04 19:02

That those who mind, they don't matter, really. And so and that right there, I mean, I know we've seen that a hundred times, but that is so, so true. The people that matter in your lives aren't gonna care. They might say, You're nuts, but I love you. Let me know if I can help.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

This one is interesting. This next one. Caring about credit. That's taking credit for things, right? Credit is a currency that corrupts.

SPEAKER_04 19:33

Yeah. We've seen that happen. You deal with it more than I do because you're I do. I deal with this. Um you deal with egos a lot more than I do because you've been in this industry and you're out there a lot more than I do. It's tied to validation, right? I love this, which is like fast food for the mind. Like you crave it, it's like carbs. Like, oh, I need this quick fix. You need it, and it's so good for a while, but then it goes away, and then you crave it again. I love that scenario.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

It is so true. I mean, I I do that in food, but I don't do that. I do it in food too.

SPEAKER_03 20:13

You and I both do. We love a cracker, we love a carb. I'm right here. I got him right here. Do not love credit.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

We do not want that.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

No, no. And and this is good. Credit's a byproduct, not a goal. Wow. You can enjoy it, of course, soak it up, but just make sure it's not the reason you're in the game. Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 20:37

Yeah.

unknown 20:38

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Make sure it goes where it needed to the team.

SPEAKER_04 20:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

Yeah. That's what, especially for work. I mean, my gosh, it's not about you. And I would say our flower click shops are like that. It's it's about their team. Oh, yeah. It's not about them. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:54

Yeah, 100%. I love that. You want to be getting your head down. Achieving your mission is all the feel-good factor you need. That's true. Yep. Yes. So I know when Cami will forward an email from one of our members after a holiday, telling her how grateful they were for all of the work the web team did. Meaning all of us. That's why she forwards it to every single one of us, even though you and I did not physically move things around. We all had a hand in it. We were at the photo shoot. Like we did something. That's why she does that. Because she's so proud of every single one of us. And so it's group credit, I think, to me feels so full, but isolated credit feels strange to me.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

To me as well. I mean, we would rather pass that credit and those accolades on to someone else.

SPEAKER_04 22:06

I think that's why we like to team teach when we're on stage too. I love to teach, but I don't the feedback part.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Yeah, because when you rock something, I mean, like when you amaze people with your presentations, like you did at NextGen with the empathy thing that people are still talking about. It's one of those things that you're like, yeah, thanks. Thanks.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

I don't know how it happened.

SPEAKER_00 22:33

Yeah, you don't like to take that credit. Yeah. And that's okay. I mean, it's just it's it's it was fine. It because I love this Harry Truman quote. It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:51

It's a hundred percent true. The pressure's off when you don't care who gets the credit. Right. I've been on both sides. Trust me, I've been on both sides. When I've cared, it's a hundred times more stressful.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:09

When you take the pressure off, it's a cakewalk. At least in my opinion. Yeah, I totally agree. I totally agree. Okay, the next one is trying to fit in. You don't need to be popular to be effective. People can think you're weird. A koop, a little bit of an oddball. And you can still be successful. I think this is very true. I think this is really true in our industry. I actually think the more eccentric you are, the more popular you can be in this one, right? In our industry. But I like this, but don't be a jerk. I think that's the key.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

There's there's that fine line, right? Between being eccentric and you know, being out there, and then you could be like a jerk. Yeah, being a jerk.

SPEAKER_04 24:05

What is it? There was the quote they left about Steve Jobs. The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are actually the ones that do. You know, I like that.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

So the next one is worrying about the ideal scenarios. Leading anything means accepting a universal law. Most factors for success are outside your control. Is that not the truth? You're running a small business, you're doing everything you can, but some of those main things are hey, how am I going to get those customers to come in? You can you can advertise all you want, you can be out there doing whatever you want, but so much of it is out of your control.

SPEAKER_04 24:58

Yeah. It's hard. I think this is one of the hardest things for business owners to do. I have so many conversations. I had one last week with a shop that is just starting to do every day. They are, of course, and moving it every day. Beautiful, beautiful product. And they have a hundred different questions and concerned about a hundred different, and they're like, I think we need to do this, and we need and all of these different scenarios that are gonna cost all of this different money, yet they all of these different prices, yet they don't have enough incoming. Yeah, right. And I'm like, I would not try all of those things at once because you're not gonna be able to measure them, and yeah, you're putting the cart before the horse here. I would try your free things first, and then maybe one this, and you know, but they're so worried about worst case scenarios, um, and it's scary, and I get it, but a lot of it is out of your control. You cannot control who's going to click to buy.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

You're not, yeah, and you wish you could, wish, but you can do all you can, right? And then you just have to sit back and go, whoo, yeah, I can't control this.

SPEAKER_04 26:35

You cannot control this, yeah. Control your cogs, you can control your labor. I mean, you focus on the things you can control, right? Right, right, but you cannot control who's going to actually click and buy.

SPEAKER_00 26:53

No, but you can control the next one, how you act and act and how you respond.

SPEAKER_04 26:59

And that is our last one. When you're confident in your abilities, when you're confident as a leader, as a manager, as a business owner, and you've proven yourself and you're thriving. I think the important part of leadership is how you react to people, how you respond, and how you act. Those are the two most important things. You stop worrying about your scenarios. You don't wait. You don't have to be perfect, right? You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to wait for everything to align. My gosh, if we did that at Flower Click, we'd still be at the very beginning. We wouldn't even have a web program. We'd still be waiting. We wouldn't have a podcast. We wouldn't, nope, we wouldn't. You're right, right?

SPEAKER_00 27:53

You just deal with things as they come up. And it's interesting because this has that same phrase that we've talked about the last couple times. So you're you'll either win or you'll learn. Either way, you're moving forward. Yeah. And it's a long enough timeline that that's what really matters. You're just going to continue to learn. You're just going to continue to lose, you'll either win or you'll learn.

SPEAKER_04 28:16

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:17

Yes. Exactly. And that's really it. I think the the takeaway, I know we have bullet points here, but the takeaway is if you're a business owner, your job, besides staying on budget, right? Right. Is not to impress. It is to lead others well. It's to model for your employees. It's to model for your customers. And I'm going to say it is to be a light in your community. You know, it is to be that bright light in your community for people when they walk by. There is just something about you. There is something about your store. You can call it an energy. You can call it a light. You can call it whatever you want. But it is something about the culture of your store that makes people want to buy, want to come in because they feel joy, they feel happiness when they stop by. And that's your goal. And really, that is the goal. Absolutely. And I think if you can implement all of these things, which are hard, and I think us at Flower Clip, I'm literally going to keep this on there because I think we need to make sure we're doing these. I think it can be life-changing.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Yeah. We've got to quit expecting others to understand us. Yeah, Honda.

SPEAKER_04 29:46

And I need to quit feeling the need to explain ourselves, Lori. Lori.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

Have to quit caring about the credit, which I don't think it is any of us. And worrying about age. You know, I think sometimes we're too old to fit in.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

We don't fit in.

SPEAKER_04 30:10

Yeah. And then we need to only worry about best case scenarios, right? Instead of right case. We don't really worry about worst case scenarios. Cammy's a worry. She worries about worst case, but we kind of like that she does because we tend to go the other. She helps, she's our checks and balances.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

That's a balance person.

SPEAKER_04 30:32

We bring her in to help us see the pitfalls.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

Yeah. So every person on our team has such great attributes. And you know, some of us have to work on some of these things, others, something else.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

We each have a few we can work on.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

We'll get there. We're working progress.

SPEAKER_04 30:53

We'll get there.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

We're a work in progress. So all right, I'm done.

SPEAKER_04 30:58

I need to refill my coffee. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the business and pleasure of flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa. We look forward to seeing you next week.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.