Navigating Customer Service Challenges with Empathy

Episode 250: Customer service can be a challenging field, especially when emotions come into play. In this episode, we delve into the complexities of customer interactions, particularly when dissatisfaction or complaints arise.

Lori shares a personal experience from the customer side and talks about what went wrong and shares strategies and verbiage to defuse tense situations. 

In the floral industry, emotions often run high, especially during occasions of sympathy. Knowing how to communicate effectively in these sensitive moments can make the difference between a satisfied customer returning or walking away forever. Join us as we discuss the significance of empathy and communication in providing exceptional customer service.

Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Are you serious? And he looked at me, and next thing out of his mouth, he was like, Are you saying this is my fault?

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Welcome to the business and pleasure of flowers. We're your host, Vonda LaFever.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

And Lori Wilson. And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda. Good morning, Vonda. Happy, well, when we're recording this, it's Friday. Today's Friday.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

I haven't seen you in a while. I know it's been too long, but we get to see each other soon. Oh my gosh. We do.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

So when this airs, we oh, do you hear Bo? He's saying hello. Good morning, Vonda. Good morning, Bo. Yes. Must have heard your voice. When this airs, we will be at our staff retreat. I know. I'm so excited. We're having like an all-staff face-to-face retreat, and I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

I am so excited because I've been working with these gals for well, before Flower Tech. And there's two of them I think I have still not met.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Me, two. I think there's two. I've never met Denise in person, which is weird because I feel like I have, but I don't think I've ever physically touched her arm, right? So we can't say that. No, I think that's the only one.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

Maybe that is the only one.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

We met Sherry in Dallas.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

We did. That's right. And we met Allie. Allie made it. We have not met Allie. Allie's Yeah, I was gone.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Remember, I couldn't go to that photo shoot.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

Okay. So that was the one. So I have one two.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Yep. So that's that's exciting. And Ellie and I met yesterday for a few hours, yesterday evening, and started planning like a little bit of an itinerary. But you know what? We are not gonna plan every minute. Because the biggest thing we want to do is hang out. And that is what we deserve. Like that's what these women want to do, and get to know one another on a human level. We know each other on a virtual level, right? But face to face, it's a whole and I was like, Ellie, the the few times we've done this, and we've always had a different cast of characters, right? Majority of us remain the same, but there's been a few. That's the most memorable moments when we're outside having a cocktail laughing, those are the remember wins.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Totally agree. I'm waiting for those moments. I mean, we're just gonna let them have.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

We have do have some funny games planned. Of course you do. That's what we have to do. But yeah, I'm super excited, and I think every lady on the team is excited. So that's what we're doing. You have been gone, I have been gone, we've been going back and forth. We've been, I know you and the web team and Ellie have been just swamped finishing up the photo shoot. I mean, take it now. It makes me think, wow, the actual shooting of it was the easy part.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

As much as that is, the post involves so many other people, you know, that's what you don't realize. And now we we have that almost done. Now we have to go into sales prep school, right? And we you and I have many other things that we're working on in that too.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

So I know when you put that in Slack yesterday, I'm like, oh crap, I forgot. We don't, I totally forgot about that part, you know, and then I was laughing, you know, because I get copied on all those slacks about the editing and the uploading of the descriptions and all of the photos and that you're the whole web team's going through because you guys have so many checks and balances with those images and descriptions and the names, and it had gone through four of you to approve. And then the fifth person, of course, Denise, it's why we have her. She's like, There's a typo, it's gone through four people. Everyone's like, Where? And no one even saw it. And even after she said the typo, and Kami's like, I still don't see it. This is why it is scary. Like, it is so hard, it's so hard because one typo, when you're uploading images because of all those numbers, can screw up everything.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

Well, and there was a number that wasn't correct, too.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

And so that's the worst. You transpose that's why I'm not involved because I am queen of transposing members. I'd be fired if I was in that at all. So I just got back from Oklahoma. So I went to go visit my dad and visit my mother-in-law. It was her birthday, she turned 92. Esther, good old Esther. That was her 92. It was very fun. She got more flowers, I will tell, because you know, she loves her flowers, she loves her garden. She was a little overwhelmed, actually, because she got so many. I don't know what to do with all these. So I helped her kind of consolidated some. They had a little birthday party for her Mark's cousin, who is just wonderful for her, and some of her great nieces. They brought her like little bouquets, you know, like from Whole Foods, and they that's right, because they got gift cards and stuff. And so I helped her arrange some of those. But I will tell you, I was pulling a Vonda some of the flowers that were delivered. I was like, huh, these lines are Vonda would not be happy with the very and you could identify these. I identified these, and I was showing her how these are there's no line here, there's no principles or elements of design. And she was like, You're right. It's like, and so I rearranged it a little bit, and the whole weekend was like, it looks so much better. Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you. Good job, Lori. Wow, I can't see this. The other thing I and I would never mention the name of this flower. It's not a flower club member, trust me. It's I don't even know the shot. So they there was one arrangement that was sent to her, and it had a little butterfly on it, which we love the butterflies. Here's a cautionary tale. This butterfly was not one of the types that we use, like that. We got, I don't know what company we got it. We got it when we were at Bill Doran. This, well, and we've used those from Bill Doran and also pioneer and quartz great butterfly. This one had to be from like Timu or Dollar Store. It was the most flimsy, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly butterfly I have ever seen in my life. So Mexico, it made me angry. It made me angry to look at the butterfly. Yeah, oh my god. It made me so mad because I'm like, that is a cheap ass butterfly that somebody just picked up at the dollar store. And that's a note to people listening. Do better on your butterflies. Because people know, and and it fell off. And when I tried to put it back, it there was no way it was going by. So anyway, it just kind of made me it put a bad taste in my mouth.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

So, did you get to throw the butterfly away?

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Sister, I threw that thing in the trash within 24 hours. I was like, that is coming off because I would look at it from across the room and like that that's not gonna flutter. That's not gonna fly off. That is ugly. It was like ray. It wasn't even a pretty color. I was just angry. And I'm like, yeah, butterflies don't even cost that much.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Butterflies should not make you free.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

They should make me feel free. Anyway, I just it made me mad because I am all about a good dollar store vase, a good, you know me. I love my dollar store dupes, my products. But when butterfly, I don't know if it came from the dollar store. I just know you have to have an eye for things like that. You gotta know, hmm, this is this is nice, this will pass, or this will this is what I'll say.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

If you're going to do a finishing touch on an arrangement, like a butterfly, make sure it's good quality because people are really looking at that finishing touch.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

Yes, that's a great like the red birds that you've put in things, they're there's the intricacies on those little, even though they're still they're like from Pioneer, they're from they're adorable. Their little faces are cute because people like my mother-in-law and my mom, they will keep those. They will, you know, and so anyway, that's my little two cents that draw.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

It kind of goes into our subject for today, though.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

And we've talked about it 5,072 times, but we I had an incident, not with a flower shop, but I had in some situations this week. So as you know, my dad lives, he lives in an independent senior living facility, but he has Alzheimer's. He has the I can't remember what the level is, but it's the first level where he has zero short-term memory, but we have private nursing care that checks on him. So he is not in assisted living because the place doesn't have it. Keep all of this in mind. This has to do with the story. As you know, because he's in a very small town, my hometown, they don't have a lot of things. The only other places like nursing home, which he's not, right? So the contract we have with this company, or we had with them when they were a different company was the nurses will provide this, this, and this. They clean once a week, you know, all of these basic things. So when I was there, because I was I was taking him with some doctor's appointments, I had noticed like his trash was overflowing, his vanity sink, the sink was filthy. His laundry, which part of Alzheimer's is they never change clothes, but his laundry basket was overflowing, which is very strange. And I'm like, what is happening? I was so curious. So this was on a Monday. So the next morning I came back because I thought, well, maybe they're gonna clean today. I don't know. Came back still away. So I went downstairs to the lobby, and there was this gentleman, I will call him, younger than me. I don't know how old, but probably late 20s, early 30s. And I was like, I don't, I need to check about who's cleaning my dad's room because they're supposed to clean it once a week. Once a week. Okay, sheets once a week. We pay extra for someone to do one load of laundry a week. One load a week. That's really all he needs. And the other part of that is in our contract, if he has no laundry, they're supposed to say, Mr. Rock, why don't you take those clothes off so I can wash them and you go ahead and jump in the shower? Because that's part of, oh, okay. He doesn't remember. Oh, I've worn these all week. Right. It's just part of Alzheimer's. The man was like, Oh, we're short staffed. That's how he answered. And I go, Okay. Um, but my dad's trash is overflowing. He, without looking at me, puts a clipboard in his hand and he's like, he's supposed to sign this if he needs something. And I started laughing and I said, excuse me. And he said, I said, we're short staffed, we only have one housekeeper. Talking to me, exactly like this. And I'm like, Wow, are you serious? And he looked at me, and next thing out of his mouth, he was like, Are you saying this is my fault? And he just like went into this crazy, and I'm so oh my god, I went off. No, I am not proud of it, but I went off on first of all, it may not be your fault, but it is your responsibility. You represent this company, sir. Second of all, my father does not have the cognitive ability to come down and sign bleeping bored on what he needs. He doesn't know what the hell he needs. Anyway, I've gone on this rampage so much so that this woman comes out, may I help you? And I'm like, I don't know. Can you help me? Anyway, suffice it to say I reminded them of my contract, of what it all says. And they just kept saying, Well, we're under new ownership. They just kept passing the buck, passing the buck, passing.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Nobody took responsibility.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Nobody, they were literally throwing their company under the bus, being that it's not my fault, not my fault. So none of this really got resolved. But here's what I want to say. I am in an incredibly emotional state already dealing with a father that is not all there and can't take care of himself. So you take that feeling and you think about somebody that is grieving, you know, for a few dealing with sympathy flowers. And and I was thinking about somebody, I can't remember if it was in Shop Talk or if it was on one of our forums. Somebody was talking about how some someone came in and they were really upset because they or got a plant, they ordered a plant for their grandma's funeral, and they thought it was going to be darker, and it didn't, they didn't feel like it blended in. Okay, totally irrational. I get it, but I also get it. Like, I get it. And the person that responded was like, Can you believe that? Just did it, but I'm like, I can. It it doesn't make sense, it's not rational, but I do believe there are words, and it's gonna get me so emotional because this isn't a we say it all the time, it's an emotional time. You have to be equipped. I'm not saying replace the plant because that's already done. But I'm saying save the sail, save the negative. There are words you can use to calm them down a little bit and remember they are grieving. They're never, they feel like that was the last thing they could do for that person, and they got the wrong color. And yes, that's not irrational, that's totally irrational.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

It's irrational, but you're right.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

It's emotional and it's way deeper than that, and you will never know the death, you will never really know what that's about. But it's so incredibly important to train any of your people that are customer service facing, customer facing to equip them with the knowledge to help these people with at least a little bit, even if it's you know what, I hear you're upset. Let me get someone to help you. If that's all they can do, cool. But if that's all they can do for the love of God, do not allow them to say, it's not my fault. Yeah, we did what we were supposed to do, we did what you ordered. Right. And then you're not saying God made it that way. I get that, and it's true, but there's a way to help walk them through. Oh my gosh, I hear what you're saying.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Come back to you and your situation, and we can compare that to the floral shops, is that you entrusted that company, those people, to take care of things. Yes, you had a contract, but still, it was really the truth.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

And I'm I'm like, I'm nine hours away. I can't check his trash cans. I can't check his towels to see has he bathed. I pay you extra for that. And you say it's not your fault. It freaking is your fault. It is. And oh, and then they sent out an email. And I left and I'm like, to who? My dad has a jitterbug phone, flip phone to answer his calls. He doesn't even know how to dial out. You think he has a freaking email address? I said, his billing is in my email. I never got an email from you, but I'll tell you when I did get it, when you needed to switch over his billing to this new company, I sure as hell got an email. So why didn't I get an email when you flipped over to a clipboard sign up? And they they didn't have anything to so I'm just like right, right.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

So let's go back to that. So you entrusted them, they failed you. So in the customer situation, they entrusted you to the plant, or yeah, didn't the designs to do and you don't know whether during that painting a visual picture that the employee did, it wasn't painted correctly, or divisions are different, doesn't make any difference at that point. The trust they feel has been broken, and so, like you said, just saying, Oh, I am so sorry that you feel that way. Just acknowledge that first and foremost and get somebody to take care of it because it's so hard. And in customer service is hard. And mine wasn't as deep as yours, but I was in Iowa, my daughter-in-law's mother died, and I went and did the flowers, right? So I am a florist coming from out of town. This funeral home doesn't know anybody. And when they set through there, Erica said, No, we have somebody taking care of the flowers. So I'm sure the funeral home in their minds, like, oh great, here's another DYI person taking care of them. Sure. That'd be great. So when I delivered the flowers, I called, you know, do the things that we're supposed to. What time do you want them there? So I had to have them there at three o'clock. I was there at three and let them in. And then they, I said, Do you want me to put it on the casket? And they're saying, No, we'll take it from you. And so then I went in, and the girl who was by the casket, she said, Did you do those?

SPEAKER_01 20:25

And I They're like, You mean you know what you're doing?

SPEAKER_00 20:28

I said, Yes, I did. And she goes, Those are absolutely gorgeous. And okay, so that was that was a positive. But then we went to set up the next morning, and there was a young funeral undertaker, funeral director there, and he was moving the casket and all that. And I'm like, Can you tell me when this will be set up? I would like to place it. We'll take care of that. And I'm like, I really would like to make sure that this is at the head of the casket. This is what the grandchildren did, and this is, and then he's like, you know, they give you that attitude. It's again customer service on a different level, right? I had this urn that the girls had requested specifically to go at the head of the casket. And so I said, Do you have some pillars? And he's like, We don't have pillars. Okay, do you have something we can put these on? Yes, we do. So he put it on a stand. He put a stand here, put it here. So I put it up there and he goes, Can it just come out of this urn? Can it just sit on here without him? And I said, No, sir. The family has specifically ordered these containers to be setting here.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Oh my, this was the funeral director.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

This was the funeral director. Nobody was there yet. We're sitting up at the church, and I just thought, man, but if I had a choice where to go, I would not go.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

I would talk to the owner and go, he needs some gosh.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

Well, and he he was a younger person, and there was an older gentleman who was there who helped me through the door when I was there before. And the older gentleman was so respectful. He Knew what customer service was. This young person was very demeaning to this older man.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

I was his son or something that thinks he's so much better.

SPEAKER_00 22:09

Or I couldn't really get it, but I just thought, man, this young man needs customer service. Well, he is going to be the demise of that place if he's not careful. He seemed to be fine around others, but it was just like I was a florist, and why was I telling him? I don't understand how important florists are, though. He doesn't mean what is he doing to his local? I mean, obviously he's got a favorite florist who was getting a percentage and he wasn't getting that with this. That could be I was really surprised at the lack of customer service. And I know our shops go through that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The people who aren't the favored florists, it that's happening, you know.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. As we were driving back to Houston, I was thinking about the whole thing and trying to, you know, look at what do we learn? And I was thinking about the uh empathy presentation I did back at NextGen. And one of the slides that I had that I don't know why it was one of my favorites, but it's just a slide that has a bunch of different phrases on it for customer service, like empathy phrases when somebody comes at you in a panic or they're upset. And here are just some things I think that help de-escalate. That's the word I've been trying to think of situation. So if I was to come at this guy and say, hey, I'm trying to figure, because when I went at him at the beginning, my voice wasn't loud. I wasn't Karen yet. I wasn't, I was confused, thinking, right, did they just forget?

SPEAKER_00 24:00

Because you know customer service, right?

SPEAKER_01 24:03

Starting with the mindset of give them the benefit of the doubt first because you don't know the story, and I do know they probably are. Who isn't understaffed? Especially in a small town like this, everyone's understaffed. I get that. I get it, I hear it every time I'm in a shop talk, every time I'm on a on Facebook group. Like I hear, I get that. So, but here's some phrases. If I was to go in like that, he could have said, Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry you're facing this. Let me let me get Bernadette and let's figure this out. That's really all he, all his job is is to sit at that front lobby and when people come in, make sure they're tagged, name tagged, and they're not gonna shoot up the place. That's really all he's kind of to do there. He's not the manager because my question really is because contractually, he doesn't know what my contract is with them. He has no idea what the situation is. I did need to talk to the main person. He could have said, Oh, I don't know. Well, I want to get a little more information from you. More like, tell me more of your story. That kind of unleashes a little more of my heart. Let me, oh, he cares, right? Let's work through this. Tell me some more. Thanks for reaching out to me about this. What's going on? Like, oh, what? Even if down he knew, oh, we don't have anyone to help you, but I'm gonna lie through my teeth. I don't care. At least I feel heard. So many different things. Another thing that I think would be helpful after I shared all of this, for them to say, okay, so in this scenario, what would be most helpful for you moving forward? Oh my gosh. I would have started crying and said, if I can just email you what I feel like he needs done every week, that would be a blessing because he'll never sign that clipboard. That's it. The girl that had the light colored plant and was freaking out. It I bet if she would have said that, said, okay, what's your best case scenario for right now? What what can we do? How can we fix this? What what would make you feel better? Yeah, maybe it was just a big hug going, your mom's gonna love you, no matter what color that plant is. I don't know what an I don't know, but I'm just saying these things like your concern is valid. I hear you. When we are at the height of grief and panic and fear because our loved one is either dead or hurting or can't help themselves to be thrown in our face, the phrase of it's not our fault. Oh my gosh, that is the worst thing you can say to a person.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

No, totally agree, Lori. I mean, totally. It's interesting because we're not usually in that situation. You of all people, you right? The queen of customer service and how everything could be done. And and your approach to them was, I'm sure, very gentle, very concerning to start with. The very first thing. And then, whoa, wait a minute. It's like you said, the emotions, you know, we've all been in that situation where we know our emotions are going to be a different response than we normally.

SPEAKER_01 27:45

Well, and I think, you know, I'm human, right? I'm human. And when I feel that I can't help my father, who can't help himself, boy, the claws do come out when I'm like, I don't have a camera hidden there, which maybe that's not a bad idea. And I'm like, Daddy, when or does the last time your sheets have been changed? I don't know. When's the last time that would be? He has he's and then I can't ask him those because then he gets embarrassed because he doesn't know he has no concept of time. And I'm like, I I'm not gonna embarrass him anymore. That's pointless. So I don't know. And another phrase that would have helped me if that woman would have said, you know what, I'd feel the same way if I was in your shoes. I get it. Yeah, yeah, thank you, thank you. So moving forward, what does that look like for you? How can we help? Game changer, game changer.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

So how did it get resolved or did it not?

SPEAKER_01 28:59

I left for an hour, took him for lunch, I came back, they had emptied his trash and vacuumed and replenished towels, but his vanities were so dirty, his kitchen sink was filthy. I did his laundry, I changed his sheets, I made a call to the other place in town and had a long conversation with her, which she knows my dad because everyone knows my dad. There is a waiting list there to move him. I have calls into two places here about moving him here, so I will move him out of there because of it. I will never trust them again. That's and that's they will lose. And you know, it's sad because they they have a lot of empty rooms there, and there's a reason for it. Yeah, and they're gonna lose somebody else. And the people running it, the fact that they kept blaming new ownership. I'm like, you're blaming new ownership, yet that's your company now. You gotta own it. Just own it. Okay, that that's who run pays my paycheck. We gotta deal with it. Yeah. So it's just unfortunate. It's just unfortunate because the trust is not there at all.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

So when you're saying that, then we know that an unhappy customer, if you're not diffusing that situation the way you are, that customer is never coming back.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

No, oh no, never. Nor would I ever recommend anyone, and you know, I grew up there. I always have friends going, hey, how does your dad like that place? Are you do you feel good there? But I need the thinking about moving my mom. Nope, absolutely not. Not that I have a lot of power, but I'm saying, no. Will I write a negative review? Uh, you know, I am not a fan of those, but will I write corporate? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. And say, you need to go in and do some training here. This is dangerous. This is dangerous because it's not fair to all of those wonderful people that live there. That's what makes me sad.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

And what makes you even more deeply troubled is when you know so many of those people never have somebody come to visit them or once every six months, right?

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Is there how many people don't know about that stupid clipboard? Right, exactly. I was again looking at my slide deck, and there's a one more slide, and it's simple, and it was like, why is empathy so important in our industry? And there's three things on here, very common sense, and it was like employee empathy. This is about just the employees, not the owner. Okay, employee empathy has a direct impact on both customer satisfaction and customer loyalty. Up to 65% of a company's overall revenue comes from loyal customers. Wow. Wow. So basically, here's the deal. If your your customers don't feel empathy from the company, I'm not feeling empathy. I don't look at Asher House as the whole company. I don't look at them. I'm looking at those two people I spoke with. Yeah. Yeah. And that's how I'm judging the whole company. That's the only way you know the company. I know it. The people that helped me is how I judge the company. And that's how flower shops really need to think about it. The people that help you, the people that helped the woman with the wrong color plant is how that woman's gonna judge that flower shop, not the whole flower. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

That's why they say you're only as good as your worst employee.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

But we can forget that. I mean, we can think, oh, they're trained up. I got them, I got them through. And I'll every once in a while I'll get an email from one of our members. Hey, I'm gonna run my people through customer service, the sales prep school again, or they did it real quick. Great. Or they do it once. And I'm like, you may want to have a revamp. And not that you have to go through the how do you make the sale? You gotta go through how do you diffuse a situation? How do you be kind when you don't want to be kind? How do you talk through an issue? How do you like that's the stuff?

SPEAKER_00 33:56

60. That's what I love. This what was it yesterday when you got back in the office, and then you had all these people signing up there either new employees.

SPEAKER_01 34:08

And I'm like, I would talk to him a while back, and I'm like, just letting you know you've only signed up two people and you bought it 10 months ago. And he's like, Okay, okay, I'm on it.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

And that's why he's finally signed up. But but you've also had people who bought it two years ago, and they're signing people back up to go through it again for a refresher before it gets busy. And I'm just like, that is so smart. These are smart business people who are like, they understand, they understand how important that is, super important.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

And I I feel like there's probably listeners going, man, they're talking about customer service again, but I don't feel like you could ever talk about it too much.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

Mm-mm. No, I don't think people understand that impact, which you had the direct impact that you had this this last week.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

But I will say I believe our little industry probably does it better than any industry I know.

SPEAKER_00 35:05

Because we're used to dealing with emotions all the time. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

I think our industry and part of the restaurant industry does it phenomenally because they have to, because they work on dips and reviews, and our small businesses work on reviews and loyalty. Return customers. Exactly. Well said. Anyway, it's all good. I may be moving my daddy to Texas. You never know. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the business and pleasure of flowers to your Google morning routine or your flat routine on the left.