Quotes, Bugs & Big Truths: What’s Crawling Across Your Mind (and Legs)

Episode 290: Lori and Vonda kick off with a hilarious (and slightly traumatic) story that every light sleeper will understand—then dive into a list of powerful quotes that spark real conversation on growth, mindset, leadership, and control (or lack thereof). Whether you’re a flower shop owner, team leader, or just trying to make sense of your own journey, this episode reminds us we’re always changing, always learning, and definitely not alone. Get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even raise your hand to change a pattern or two.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:02

Why is that triggering me? Like what is it about what they're doing that triggers me so much? What is it about me?

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Welcome to the business and pleasure of flowers. We're your hosts, Vonda LaFever and Lori Wilson.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.

SPEAKER_03 0:29

Good morning, Lori. Good morning. How are you? You know what? I'm really good. Good. Good. I had a little bit of trauma last night. Oh, oh, I don't like trauma. Oh, I'm recovering. So I went to bed. I was super tired. Super, super tired. You know, it was a crazy weekend, but no big deal. Went to bed at exactly 3 a.m. Oh. Deep, deep sleep with both my husband, my dog, and myself. Something crawled across my thigh. What? Okay. Now here's I don't know. I am a stomach sleeper. Okay, so it was at the back of my thigh. I immediately woke up. I swear I hit it. I know I touched it. I screamed. I jumped out of my bed. I turned off some light.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Mark. Mark's having a heart attack, probably. Mark! Keep in mind he wears a CPAT machine. He screams in the CPAT.

SPEAKER_03 1:45

He's like, I hear the he jumps out. He does not know what's happening. I'm flipping the sheets, freaking out. Bo the entire time. Just still curled up, looking at us like, y'all are crazy. What is happening? And I'm like, a bug, a bug. I'm all like scream, it's a bug. It's a roach. It's a bug. I didn't know what it was, but I swear I touched something. I don't know what. We never found it. Oh god. We didn't find it. Mark was so mad at me. He doesn't believe me. He thinks it was Bo's whisker. He's like, it was. They both think I'm lying. I went back to bed feeling a lot of shame. He just looked at me in that mask, like he's in Top Gun. He's like, he's like, you're winning.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

Where are you yelling? Oh my gosh. That's a traumatic night. It was traumatic.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

And I was like, I swear, something ran across my leg. And he's like, there's nothing here. Anyway, the bug man is coming tomorrow. I'm sure he is. He's coming. I just got the text that they will be here tomorrow. And I keep looking around because I know I touched it. And it wasn't Bo's whiskers. And I'm still like, I don't know. You mean under the sheets? I think I had like one leg under, one leg on top because the cooling effect. Yes, because I'm always hot and I have to have a leg out. Oh my gosh, I'm just traumatized. I can't stop thinking about it. But that's why you're even more tired. Yes. And I had a hard time going back to sleep. But then every time I think about it, and I think about him yelling at me through the mask, I get so tickled. Because I'm like, he was so mad yet. Oh, it's laughing. Boom, boom, boom, boom. You sound like Charlie Brown's mom. Love it.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Anyway, how was your night? Mine was pretty uneventful. Okay. Pretty uneventful. You know, you live a much calmer life than I do. Oh, not always, but last night was okay.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

Good, good. Speaking of okay, I found an article that is better than okay. I was just reading through some articles, and I found this one, and I thought this would be really cool to talk about.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

I know you wouldn't even let me preview it.

SPEAKER_03 4:34

No, because I want your perspective live, if you will. And it's just called 10 quotes that have elevated my life. Okay. And so it's on our medium.com that we you and I both subscribe to. And I think they're really interesting. Some of them I really resonate with, and some not so much. And that's what I think is going to be interesting. We're going to connect with some, I will, and then some you're going to go, I don't really get that one at all. And I think that's what's interesting about the whole thing. So he just starts the whole thing about how, you know, me first, I love a good quote. Oh, I do too. I love it. I love it. I spend the whole month compiling quotes, as do you, and you'll send me some. And we are very thoughtful about the quotes we put in our newsletter. And so these are a little deeper and longer because we try to keep them shorter in there so they fit in the box on the graphic. So he just says each one of these has had a profound impact on his life in some way and has helped him either been really uplifting or helped him heal from some past trauma or whatever. He said the interesting thing is every time a quote comes across that really, really elevates his life, it seems to hit him at the exact time he needs it.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Oh, of course.

SPEAKER_03 6:08

You know, and you and I've talked about that. Like, wow, how did the world know I needed that right now? Like, that's crazy. So the first one took me a minute because I I had to read it like three times to really understand it. And then I actually did a little research and I thought that's pretty fascinating. So here's the first quote No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river, and he's not the same man.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

I get that one. I think it's when something happens to us and it happens to us 10 years later. Maybe it's the exact same situation, but our reactions and our experience at that time is totally different than it is when it happened to us the first time. Right.

SPEAKER_03 6:59

Is that what it means when you did the research? Well, so subatomic particles, right? How they arise and pass away billions of times. What appears to be dense and rigid is something moving so fast it looks stationary. So every time you step in a river, you're stepping in water because it ebbs and flows, ebbs and flows the water. You're not stepping in the exact piece of water that you stepped in the first time you stepped in it, right? It might be the same body of water, but it's different particles that you are stepping in. So it's never the same piece of river. And we are our matter is constantly changing every second, every minute, and we're never the same. I'm not the same now as I was then when the bug crawled on me. So I think that's crazy to think about. I mean, that's like kind of a mind-blown wow, you know, it's it's very, very deep. And that's kind of what he was like. That's one of those that makes your head explode when you think about.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

Yeah, if you're looking at it like that. But I look at it if there's an experience that a 25-year-old Lori was in, and now then a 35-year-old Lori and then a 45-year-old Lori. You could be in the same situation. Right, but you're never gonna look at it the same. Oh, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_03 8:27

Yeah. Well, think about when you had your firstborn as opposed to your last child. Oh my gosh. Very different. Perfect example.

unknown 8:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:35

Firstborn, I'm in labor and I'm telling the doctor, I'm not having this baby. No way. It's staying in me forever. I'm not doing this. No, you know. Third baby, my friend brings me a Nasonic Dr. Pepper. You're like, here we go again. Yeah, okay. Okay, second one. When you can bear your own silence, you're free. Interesting. This one got me all in my feelings. This one was powerful for me because as you know, and most of the world, like my brain is rarely silent. Yeah, that's true. Yours isn't right. And it's really, really hard for me to be silent and be comfortable with silence. I'm just always all over the place. And so last year, going through a lot of heavy stuff, I had to learn to be okay in the silence and the aloneness. And so this one hit me because when you're silent, it does open up to be able to hear for me God's voice.

SPEAKER_04 10:03

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:04

You know, and so when my brain is so busy, I can't hear anything but my own crazy voice.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Yeah, because it comes in the whisper, right?

SPEAKER_03 10:14

Right, right. And he's not gonna speak over my loud mouth.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

No.

SPEAKER_03 10:19

So anyway, I I really, really like this one. And I think things like meditation and meditation looks different for everybody. But for me, I shared with you that was always sitting on a blanket in front of my fireplace, just trying to pray and be silent and listen. This was incredibly helpful.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Well, this one I would challenge people to think about, even when you're out on a walk or you're out by yourself. Do you always have music going? Do you have singing all the time to distract you or to hear other voices? Or are you okay walking in silence or walking in prayer or walking? Right. Yeah. Without music blasting. See everybody with earbuds 100%.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

And you and I've talked about that before and a while back, how I enjoy, like when I take Bo on a walk, not the headphones, not a podcast, not anything. Just look up. Same. Be aware. Be aware and see what else is going on here. So all right, the next one. Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

That's true. It's oh and the more that we attend conferences, the more we attend events, the more we learn about ourselves. Because of that person.

SPEAKER_03 11:49

This is from Carl Jung, and he says, What we judge in another, we judge in ourselves. Whether it's good, bad, or ugly, it's all the same. Everyone is a reflection of what's going on inside your psyche. And it's so true. This isn't the first time we've heard this. And I've started saying to myself when I'm around somebody that really rubs me the wrong way or gets on my nerves. I really try to say, why is that triggering me? Like, what is it about what they're doing that triggers me so much? What is it about me that I haven't dealt with, that I haven't healed from, that I struggle with? This is so very true because that's my issue. They're just being who they are. I can't change them, but I need to change me. The next one be less impressed and more involved. What do you think about that one? Let's impressed with others and just more involved.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

I think that I don't have a problem with that. It takes and this is probably terrible, it takes a lot for me to be impressed, right? Because number one, I don't want to be around people who are like trying to impress me. Yeah, yeah. I want to be involved in making things happen for other people, right? I think you are too, Lori.

SPEAKER_03 13:23

I think yeah, I can be impressed and involved at that same time, I think. I this actually is a quote from Matthew McConaughey, the actor, and he I think is talking about people that just sit back and look and go, wow, that's so cool. That's so cool, that's so great. You're so good at that. I could never do that. I think that because it's sort of taken out of context, right? Um, and it's the guy goes on to say, when I heard Matthew McConnell say these, I actually felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I realized if I could be less impressed and more curious, inquisitive, and open, I could add more value to conversations and to relationships. So that's what I focus on. And I started to build relationships and friendships.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

We actually, I think, focus on that part more than and when I say I'm not impressed with people, I'm not impressed with people who are trying to impress me. Right. Right. Change that. There are people that I'm totally impressed with their design skills, their presentation I can be very impressed with, but the people I am not impressed with are the ones that are intentionally trying to impress. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Okay, Lori, we're going to take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor. FlowerClick's Expertise is your online store, your website. We create and professionally photograph current, trendy designs and add them to your website. Just like your physical shop, you have to change out the displays on your website. We do that for you. We merchandise the products on your website to entice customers to buy from you. It'll make you look great, you'll sell more at a higher price, and did I mention those are profitable designs. Your website is your best salesperson. And there's so much more to FlowerClick, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention our tight-knit community of members. We have like-minded business owners who respect and really want to help one another. Our members are amazing, which drives us to do all we can for their success. Don't underestimate the power of what FlowerClick can do for you.

SPEAKER_03 15:40

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not a truth. This is by Marcus Arlius. I mean, everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. I would say, I mean, like water is wet. That's a fact. Um, but I I get what he's saying, but we hear a lot of things, especially right now in our world, and it's opinion in a lot.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

I think you and I work to try to find is that an opinion or is that right. Well, what's easy? We we dig into yeah, we do, we do. What's the second part of it?

SPEAKER_03 16:31

Everything we see is perspective, not truth. Definitely water sweat, that's truth. But there is truth, but perspective. I get what he's saying here. This is food for thought in this quote. Right. Because there are tr absolute truths and there are absolute facts that we can't deny. But I do think going through life, we are better people if we see that there are different perspectives, not just us. We aren't the only people that have the right answer to certain things, just even talking about certain designs. You and I were talking earlier about certain design styles, right? And I was venting to you about things, and you were laughing because and you're, that's fine. That's my perspective, right? Absolutely. And that's okay. Millions of other people in the world love a different design perspective. That's okay. That's what makes the world go around. Here's one that I've heard come out of your mouth. Be the change that you want to see in the world. Yes, that's true. I mean, you know, practice what you preach. That's that's what it is. It's easy to look around and want things to change. You gotta start somewhere. Start with yourself, right? Start with yourself, lead by example. That's what that whole thing is. Yeah. This one I have the actual book that this came out of by Brene Brown. Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Ooh. I think of Marlin, who we've had on the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 18:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

You know, what a beautiful, hard story to tell. Bravery he has, but think of the lives he probably already has changed and will continue to change. Yeah. Because he speaks his truth. And he doesn't continue to live that story. And he does right, but he doesn't run from it. Doesn't run. He owns it, he owns his story. And owning our own story is such a hard but beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_04 19:01

Agree.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

So I love that. Great example. Um, this one I think of Marlin also, but I think of some family members I have. And this quote is just not why the addiction, but why the pain. And he goes on to say, it's sad to admit now, but for a long time I didn't like my dad. I couldn't see beyond his alcoholism and the trait of destruction he left in his wake. He says, This quote brought me out of a blame and shame into a place of compassion and love. Now I have a great relationship. Although he still drinks like a fish, I can love him deeply. That goes back to perspective too, right? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's so true. And it goes back to empathy, being able to have empathy.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

And for us to love and still respect people who have gone through so much. And it's easy for people to go, oh yeah, I accept that. But then they don't want to get close to that person. Yeah. It's so hard because you and I both have seen that in our lives. Yes. And then you're just like, that person needs our love. That person needs us to embrace them and accept them for who they are. They don't want to live their story. They don't want to live like the other one. They don't want to live that addiction. They want to move on. And some people don't let them move on, Lori. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:30

Exactly. Exactly. Because they have to blame. They just have to be mad at it. This one is a very powerful. Esther Perel. I follow her on Instagram. She's really, really wise. She is an author and a like a therapist. And this quote says, It takes two people to create a pattern, but only one to change it. Yeah. She has two books, Mating in Captivity and the State of Affairs. She's got podcasts, interviews, all of this stuff.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

Well, that movie. But it can you believe I'm saying this? I know.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

That's why I like looked at you, shocked. What movie?

SPEAKER_01 21:14

It ends with us. Yes. That movie is it it was one person who made that decision. Right. And yeah. Yep. It only one has to change that pattern. One one person to change the pattern, which takes a lot of energy, courage. Stop the pattern.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Yeah. Well, think about this one when I was looking at it too. I was thinking of when we were back at Texas State and we were doing our presentation and we talked a bit about toxic employees, right? Mm-hmm. Yes. They create a pattern and it is your job as a manager or boss to break that pattern. And a lot of times it looks like you gotta remove them. You gotta remove them out of there. And it's hard and tears can be involved. I mean it can be loud. It can be very, very stressful. But once you do wow the peace the peace that you will start feeling is is pretty incredible.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

And the whole team will feel.

SPEAKER_03 22:24

Not just you right and the whole team will start feeling that you truly care for them. Yeah. Because you'll start realizing what a horrible environment it was. So the last one is relax. Nothing is under control. And he said basically it means you know what nobody knows what they're doing. We're all just trying to figure stuff out day by day. Right. Yep. All I can control is how I respond to any given situation. That's about as good as it gets and I was like that's the damn truth.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

That is the damn truth. But you said the key right there it is how we respond. We're not in control of what's gonna happen. I mean to a certain point 10% maybe 90% of that is how we respond.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

Yep are we nothing's under control. We can't control anything so when people go you know what it's all under control. No it's not you can't control it.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

But I'm the control person. I want it to be under control. I know you do I want to try I know you do but it's a I know it's only how I react most flower shop owners do want to be able to control it all. But you can't because they're great business people. This is thrown at you this is thrown at you oh the delivery driver called in well we were at sitting at Texas State Florist Association expo a few weeks ago and Lisa who was beside me was taking calls oh the driver didn't show up. Oh an employee called in sick oh this happened there were like three things in a row and I'm like because she you could just see her face was draining and I'm like are you okay and she goes oh what a day I'm gone and I can't do anything and I'm like oh do it all you can't do it.

SPEAKER_03 24:19

And you know that makes me so sad because first of all it's a really big deal for a flower shop owner to leave and go to an a seminar of big thing for a Friday Saturday Sunday they're usually closed but for all day Friday all day Saturday and then having those kind of things happen.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

I mean I get why their mindset a lot of times is like I'm not even gonna go I'm not I totally because you're like okay it seems like every time we used to call Murphy's law yeah walk out of the shop and it doesn't mean people are gonna call in sick but means you're gonna have five people die. Right have all the fever Murphy's Law that something's gonna happen as a business owner. And so if you're fearful of the response of what's going to happen when you leave you don't you never leave. Yeah don't go out and get more education. And that's what everybody was saying at the different events that we've been to this is so good to be out with people who have the same passion and likes and problems that we do and and hear how they handle those.

SPEAKER_03 25:32

Yeah yeah it's tough it's tough being a business owner but I hope that some of these quotes resonated with people maybe one or two and makes you realize you're not in it by yourself.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

We're all in this together. That's right. Well thanks Lori for bringing those quotes you always bring something cool to the table and really make us think yourself anytime thank you so much for listening to our podcast.

SPEAKER_03 26:03

We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the Business and pleasure of flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

We look forward to seeing you next week. So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business