Wonder Over Noise: What Mr. Rogers Still Teaches Us

Episode 304: This week, Lori and Vonda catch up on life, caregiving, and the whirlwind of a recent Italy wedding trip before diving into the timeless wisdom of Mr. Rogers. Together, they reflect on his lessons of empathy, dignity, and human connection, exploring how to slow down, listen deeply, and rediscover the beauty of wonder in today’s noisy world. This episode is a gentle reminder to pause, reflect, and find joy in the simple, meaningful moments that truly elevate life.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

We applied a lot of Mr. Rogers in my entire household. Okay. When I had anger issues as a child, I do remember one of the things we were allowed to do, and this sounds so silly.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Welcome to the Business and Pleasure of Flowers. We're your hosts, Von de LaFever and Lori Wilson.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

So, Lori, it's been a long time since it's been the two of us.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

I know. I feel like we always have a guest, which is great. We love having our guests.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

We do. We haven't had any catch-up time lately. No, no, we haven't. We've been a little busy, Vonda. We have been a little busy. Let's just keep it at that. We've been a little busy. And we'll share with our clickers in a couple weeks a little bit more about what we've really been doing with the big wedding. The big wedding.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

But we came back and we we made it. We're survived and it was beautiful. And a lot of people saw Instagram pictures from Ellie's Instagram, and it was great. But we're going to save that. That's another podcast as you all. That is another podcast.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

But you know what? We haven't had an update on Lenny lately. Maybe you can give us a life with Lenny update.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Yes. So I've had a lot of people ask me about the karaoke night. Yes. And as when like I was talking about it, there was going to be a potential conflict about having to move my daughter. We ended up having to move my daughter. So we didn't get to go. And then I saw bus driver Mike the following week. He was very sad that we missed it. And so I had a lot of guilt. But we moved through that. He said they're going to have another one. So you have another opportunity at least.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Another opportunity. Totally missed opportunity. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

So life with Lenny, we're doing pretty well. Being gone for this amount of time, going to Italy was a little tricky. But between my son and my uncle, who is my dad's brother, they both live here. They took very good care of him. Okay. And, you know, with Alzheimer's, he's kind of like my dog Bo. I don't know if he realizes I was gone for two days or two weeks. Like I just knows I was gone.

unknown 2:23

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

There's a lot of truth to that. You know, he's not sure. He just knows I've been gone. And so he was very excited to see me when I walked in. And his caregiver was there. And he did introduce me as his wife, but I was like, well, close enough. You know, I do look like my mom a little bit. But he goes, Hey, this is my wife. This is my wife. I go, Yeah, daughter. And he goes, I figured, I figured. So we just kind of left it at that. But yeah, he's doing well. I took him this weekend to get his flu shot. And our pharmacist, Miss Gloria, who I love, she was telling him all about her grandmother, who's 95. And my dad, who's getting ready to turn 91, he goes, ooh, would tell her I said hello. So we went down that road. So he's doing pretty well. The one thing he did keep saying, he goes, I'm glad you're home. I'm glad you're home. So he's been saying that a lot. That's good. Yeah. Made you feel good. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. He was glad he doesn't really care where I went. And I was trying to show him pictures. He he didn't really care because there was an episode of Gunsmoke on. So that, you know, that always trumps anything. So I was like, well, daddy, I'm going to just fill your medication over here, then I'm going to leave. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

You can't change their mind when they're watching that show. Man. Which actually, Lori, is a really good segue right into what I wanted to talk about. Okay, tell me, because I didn't bring anything to talk about. Well, you know, I never watch any movies. Exactly. Unless I'm on an airplane, because I cannot do anything else in my home or wherever I'm at. So I have to sit there and gosh, I was watching movies. So okay, good for you. And last time I watched a movie, and then this time they kind of went together. And that is the uh Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. You know, so Fred Rogers. Yes. So this one was Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood with Tom Hanks. Yes. But the last one was Won't You Be My Neighbor, which is more of a documentary. So watch both of them. So are great. Did you grow up with Mr. Rogers?

SPEAKER_01 4:43

I did. I loved, loved Mr. Rogers. I have such, such great memories of that show. I watch it all the time. All the time. See, I don't remember watching it.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Oh, you don't? Mm-mm. Yeah. Just mm, maybe my brothers or something, you know, a little younger. But you know, I am a little older than you are.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

My memory of that is like I grew up on Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street. Those were my two shows because we had what four channels. You had your ABC, NBC, CBS, and then you had PBS. Those were the only channels we had. And so mornings were PBS shows. And then I'd get home from school, and Mr. Rogers was the afternoon show coming home from school. Okay. So I remember watching it religiously.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

It's just amazing what he did in his time, you know, how much change he made or how much good he did for the children there. It wasn't just like Sesame Street doing numbers and all that. I mean, this was the emotional part of children who, like he was saying in his documentary, he was addressing fears that they had. Yeah. That we as parents didn't even realize that, oh my gosh, they probably have anxiety because of all this stuff going on that is not even being discussed. For sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

First of all, he was a Presbyterian minister, is what he started out to be. So I think he led from a place of compassion and empathy. And how can I serve people? I think is that platform. But when I think back, and you can get on Instagram reels or TikTok and you can watch little segments of his show, you can see all of those little seeds that he was constantly planting about positivity and just the lyrics of song that he had. Like it's such a good feeling to know I'm alive. It's such a happy feeling to wake up inside, like those types of things. And anytime I hear a Mr. Rogers song, I immediately, you know me, I know every word. Cause I'm like, Yes, of course you do. And I'm thinking how subliminally, as a child, that probably made me feel about myself.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

Yeah, we just don't realize that. I just don't think you realize everything that he did. And then, of course, in that movie, then when Tom Hanks was doing the interview and his wife is like, Don't you say anything bad about him? You know, don't do an whole whole thought about Mr. Rogers. Because I grew up with Mr. Rogers, he's a great guy, and because that the writer always about being negative about who ever he interviewed, and she was really fearful of that. Don't you ruin my concept of Mr. Rogers. Yes, that whole thing. So that was very interesting to me. The whole movie was just so touching. And what I loved, and one thing that we hardly ever do is when they were in the restaurant, and he said, let's just sit a minute. One minute, and we're not gonna say anything. And he just watched his watch, and you could see how he was uncomfortable and how people are uncomfortable in silence for only one minute. And I think about that today. I mean, we can't sit for a minute without, oh my gosh, I gotta pick up my phone, I gotta scroll, I gotta see what's going on. One minute, and everyone on this call should listen to that and just look at your watch and give yourself one minute of silence and see how uncomfortable you can be. Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

There is an interview he did years ago, because he wrote books too. He's authored a few books. I don't know how many books he's written, but he did an interview, and I believe it was on 60 Minutes, and they were interviewing him about his book. And I typed out a quote because I thought it was really interesting. And he said, because they were asking him just about the world, you know. And then keep in mind this was in the 80s, probably when this interview aired, late 80s, maybe early 90s. I can't quite, I don't know. But he says he's very concerned about how our society is much more interested in information rather than wonder, noise rather than silence. How can we encourage reflection? He said, I trust that this book will do some of that, but oh my, this is a noisy world. Wow. And I just got chills when I was listening to this interview because I thought, wow, he was so right, and has just gotten more and more and more noisy. And this interview was before TikTok and the Instagram, like you know what I mean, and like all of the even noisier and noisier. And so this morning, again, I got up and I was like, I gotta go outside. I have to go outside. Did you put your feet in the grass? I did, I did, and it was chilly, and I was like, oh my gosh. And I looked at my dog and I was like, Bo, it is cold out here. My god, you know, and I was like trying to be really aware of the seasons. My gosh, they're starting, even here in Texas. We're starting to get season. It was chilly the time. I can't believe it. It's so exciting. But I thought it really is such a noisy world. But that word wonder, we've talked about that before. We have. I've told you about that. I think it's actually on my bingo card. Remember, I want to have more time to wonder and just reflect. And so I think, you know, I would like to think that was instilled in me at some point in the 70s, sitting in my parents' bedroom on their black and white TV watching Mr. Rogers.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

So it could have been. It could have been then. I mean, because you think how often do you hear that word anymore? You really don't.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

No, no, but he did, he created this little world in Mr. Rogers' neighborhood that was very simple because I mean it was on a tiny little budget. And his puppets going into his neighborhood, he did every single puppet. He did the voices of all of them. And I will tell you, Lady Elaine scared the crap out of me. Her face was terrifying. Oh, really? Oh my gosh. Like, you couldn't find a better puppet than that. But I mean, to this day, it's like jump scare when I see it. But that world, it always had a little bit of a problem, but they came together and they wondered and they imagined together and they figured it out. And the trolley, just everything, everything I just remember, and it was so safe.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

But he looked at subjects that we as adults didn't even think of. Like, let's say our husband and wife are talking, or couples are talking, and they're talking about divorce, they're talking about politics or segregating hard things that kids are just like so fearful of, or they have no idea what they're talking about. And he was able to bring those down to a level that kids would like to understand or say it's okay to have that fear. It's okay if we talk about it, then things can can be solved. Just the roots that he was giving way back then. I just now you look at it as an adult, right? Yeah. And you're like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Yeah. Well, also, I think back and parents at that time didn't know how to talk. I mean, we still don't. We're always learning, but you know, it's not like parents had great therapists back then. We're always a product of our past generation, right? We're always trying to figure out how to, but it's like, how did he know? He just knew this is what these kids need. So he he was great at helping us process conflict when somebody thinks differently than you. Can you still be their friend? Of course. Maybe we can learn from one another. Like he gave us those tools to help, like you said, set a minute and try to look for the understanding and the commonalities and not just ah to attack.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Right. Right. And that's why I thought today would be just a good time for us to reflect on that because there is so much of that. And the go back to his philosophy. I wanted to just go through those because if we look at these, boy, if we had embraced these, wouldn't the world be a better place, right? The first is unconditional regard is belief that everyone is special and worthy of love simply because they exist without needing to achieve anything to earn it. He conveyed the message with warmth and honesty, making every child feel seen, heard, and valued. And we just can't even put that to every person, you know, what it's a child. Why don't we look at that today and go, every single person has value? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

It's just well, I mean, we've talked about that with Dr. Nicole Price on here. Like every human deserves dignity, right? Yeah. That could be hard. I mean, I think about one of our beloved Florist flower click members who we just love her to pieces, sent us an email last week with a nasty review, an email someone just hateful. Like I thought this has to not be real, this has to be a robot or something, but it wasn't. It was a real human. And it's really hard in those moments to go, okay, this human deserves dignity. Like yeah, yeah, true. Really, really hard to, but I think when we create that mindset, it it helps us start at a better foundation instead of they suck, I hate them, like because then we're no better than them. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

No, you're right.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

You know, but we have to literally train our brains. I w wrote something just last weekend. I was trying to to get myself out of that kind of mindset. It was just talking about how our hurt and anger becomes our own liability. Like it doesn't help us when we start at that same place as that person. We become our own liability. But if we can start at okay, that person, we don't know what's going on in their life.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

That's the key, is right there. Even that person who wrote that really nasty review, we don't know where that came from. What was the basis of that? It obviously wasn't the flowers that caused that or that whatever was happening. Right. Something happened in that person's life that made them feel hateful towards some little thing that happened. Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

I think Dr. Price talks about we don't have to give everyone respect, but everyone is deserving of dignity. I mean, I don't have to respect their belief, but they do deserve dignity. That's okay. Well said. Well said. Those are two separate things. The next one really is you. Oh, empathy and emotional intelligence. Yeah. So he tackled difficult subjects like anger, loss, and change directly directly and gently, showed children that all feelings are valid, providing simple ways to manage them. This helped children develop their emotional intelligence and a profound understanding of themselves and others. Yeah, I think he, like you said, he brought up things like divorce, like death. He talked about parents dying or a grandparent. He talked about segregation. I don't remember, I don't think it was a maleman, but it was one of the personal pool pool. I I remember that episode. I didn't grow up in a family that was into segregation and everything. So that wasn't as big of a pivotal moment with me, but I remember that episode so clearly. But one thing also, he made us as children feel oh, it's it's not scary that I feel this way. It's okay. And it's okay, it's okay. Normal, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:42

Normal to feel this way. And and I love that. Well, when this one was talking about the anger, I just remember in the movie where Tom Hanks played Mr. Rogers and he was talking about anger and this character, you know, with the anger situation, and he said, I have anger. And again, relating to that, and I go swim and I, you know, do this. And those are but so not only did he talk about them, but he even gave ways to manage it. I mean, before we went to any therapy, right? He was kind of the little kid's therapist. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

He had a song. He had a song, and it was called Where Do I Go with the Mad That I Feel?

SPEAKER_00 19:24

Oh, see, I don't know that, Lauren. It's you.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

I don't remember all of the lyrics, but I remember it was Where Do I Go with the Mad That I Feel? And it was all about things you can do to do that. Now, also, you have to remember, too, my mom was a kindergarten teacher. So she was very big into Mr. Rogers. And so we applied a lot of Mr. Rogers in my entire household. Okay. So when I had anger issues as a child, I do remember one of the things we were allowed to do, and this sounds so silly. Pringles cans, okay, empty ones. She would give us a Pringles can, we could stomp on it, and the lid would pop off and it would go flying. And to us, that was a release. And it it turned into fun. So it would take our mad, our anger, but then it became we would pretend we were mad, so we should go stomp on the Pringles can. But like she was kind of Mr. Rogers-ish. Yeah. But we were big on where to go with the mad that you feel. What can you do? Well, you can go outside and stomp on the grass. You can go, you know, all of these things, but you can't hit. You can't hit others, you can't hit a wall, you can't, you know, these wow.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

Your mother was her own Mr. Rogers.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Well, you loved her Mrs. Brock. I mean, she loved her Mr. Rogers.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Well, this one I think is really great too, the importance of human connection. And we miss this nowadays. Rogers believed that the human relationships are the most crucial element of development. His show provided a model for the kind of supportive, trusting, and respectful interactions that foster that growth. And wow, children during, well, and young adults and adults, I guess everyone, during COVID, when we were not able to have that human connection was so detrimental to so many kids and adults as well. And now, even, I mean, kids are on social media or they're texting back and forth, and it's not that human connection that we have to split down those devices and encourage one another, not even children, humans. We have to have that connection.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

Well, and and I know we're gonna talk about the wedding and stuff later, but think about when we were all together in Italy, and Mark, my husband, was there, and he brand new to our industry. Has always been and we threw him in, and we're all in this Airbnb and it's chaotic and we're working or do stuff. But how fun was it? And even he admitted, he's like, that was crazy, but it's because we were together, right? We were working on something for someone we love so much together and having fun. We are so used to virtual, and I'm grateful that we're virtual and that we can zoom and all of the things, but those moments when we are physically together, we don't take those for granted. Not at all. Because I'm like, God, this is just great. So great. Yes, it's a lot of work. Yes, Von to Maine does get here at five in the morning, but it's okay. But like it's a memory, right? It's it is because it's human connection with other people. And it's looking back and we're like, oh, remember when did it like we have those. And so when people are constantly just phone or computer, or do we're we are moving to the society that he talks about, like that we aren't getting much wonder anymore. It's just information only.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

Well, we have to be mindful of that. And I think we are, right? We but so many people aren't. They're just like in that world. Yeah. It's like, okay, sit back. Like this morning, I just sat in my chair, looked outside, and saw the beautiful sunrise. Just the wonder of a sunrise and all the colors. It's like, wow, that's amazing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

Oh, absolutely. One thing I thought of from Mr. Rogers for Human Connection, one thing he did. So he always fed his fish. Um, he'd come through, he'd change his sweater, blah, blah, blah. Which here's a fun fact. Did you know that his mother made all of his sweaters? I did not know that. Yes. Wow. He made his sweaters, and there is, I think one of his sweaters is in the Smithsonian, I'm pretty sure. But anyway, yeah, so that's why he always did the sweaters. His mother made them. But he would always go by and he had a fish tank, which I loved, and he would go doot doot twice and feed his fish. However, one time he received a letter from a little girl who was blind, and she said she was worried about the fish because she didn't know if they were feeding him, but she knew he mentioned the fish. So after he received that letter, every time he fed the fish, he would say, uh. And I thought that's human connection, you know, being mindful of other, just one letter. One letter. You know, to I know, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:01

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

What a good guy. What a good guy.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

This next one was simplicity and honesty. His philosophy embraced simplicity, was built on honest and direct communication. He famously created a language style known as Freddish, which was simple, literal, and designed to avoid confusing children. He understood how they process language, lessons more, right?

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

That's right. Don't be around bush. Yeah. Be clear. And isn't that funny? Because we talk about that in sales prep school. We talk about that in management. We talk about that all the time. Clarity is everything.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

It is. It is. Started way back then. Yep. Kindness and respect for diversity. He encouraged treating others with kindness and respect regardless of their background or beliefs and celebrated the uniqueness of each individual. Yes. He did that.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

He did that. He had so many different guests. He had Tony Bennett, Julia Childs, Michael Keaton, LeVar Burton. I mean, Yo-Yo Ma. I remember that one. The cellist, the famous cellist. I don't know why that one sticks out to my brain, but I remember as a kid, Yo-Yo Ma. Maybe because that name is like someone's named Yo-Yo Ma, but that's how I learned who Yo-Yo Ma was, the famous cellist. And he came on and performed. And I was just enthralled with it. I thought it was incredible. And I was a small child, a kid. Exposure to so many different things. Exactly. Exactly. But yeah, he was an incredible person. And then the last one is one that we talk about all the time, too, is active listening and understanding. A part of his philosophy was to do more listening than talking, to seek to understand others' unique experiences, fears, and triumphs. He applied this principle both in his show and in his own life. And that's absolutely true. Do more listening than talking. And I think I think we can never go wrong, even if I'm relating this to like customer service. I think if I'm talking with a I very rarely talk to a disgruntled flower click member, but I'm just pretending if I was to talk to somebody that was upset, it would not behoove me to talk over them or to tell them why they shouldn't be upset. Like active listening and trying really hard to understand where they're coming from, their pla their starting point, right? Getting to the root. And that's what I talk about when I do my empathy presentations. I mean, until I can put myself, I hate to say in their shoes because I will never be able to be in their shoes because that's impossible.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

But being able to go, I keep talking because I want to understand. Listening until I can go, oh, okay. You know what? I do get it. I think I do get it. Do you mind if I ask a few more questions just to make sure?

SPEAKER_00 28:28

I mean it's that listening to understand, not listening to respond. Right. Not listening to be right.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Right. Listening to understand. And that is for the majority of us, myself included, one of the hardest disciplines to create because we all want to be right. We all want to think, well, we know how to do it. We know what the belief system should be. We know and because it's hard because when the thought that we might have done something wrong, or might have believed something wrong our whole life, or might have that's that's tough.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And and it's tough. I think just leaving our clickers with what you mentioned earlier. And that is we need to change from being more interested in information than wander. And everybody take a look today and look around and say, what is it? What is that? That me wonder.

SPEAKER_01 29:44

Instead of going straight to Google or straight to Instagram or straight to da da da da da da. Take a little time and wonder yourself about it. Imagine. Just imagine. I think that was the thing about Mr. Rogers' world that I loved as a child was just imagine. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the business and pleasure of flowers to your morning routine or your flat routine on the left side.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

So please come back and join us.