When It Rains, It Pours: Giving Yourself Grace in Life’s Storms

Episode 305:  In this heartfelt and candid conversation, Lori opens up about one of those weeks — when everything seems to happen at once. From car troubles and family emergencies to the emotional rollercoaster of feeling stretched too thin, they unpack the real-life chaos that comes with balancing work, family, and self.

Together, they explore what it means to give yourself grace, delegate when needed, and let go of guilt, especially for business owners and florists who feel they must always “power through.” Vonda and Lori  share wisdom about finding support systems, communicating transparently with customers, and remembering that storms always pass, often leaving our gardens stronger and more beautiful than before.

✨ Whether you’re a florist, small business owner, or just someone trying to stay afloat during a downpour, this episode reminds you that you’re not alone and that after the rain, the blooms return brighter than ever.

Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

A lot of times when you are so busy, you don't even have time to think about the guilt because you're moving forward. Welcome to the business and pleasure of flowers. We're your hosts, Vonda LaFever and Lori Wilson.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

And we believe the business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda. Good morning, Vonda Sue.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Good morning, Lori Lou.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Vonda Sue and Lori Lou. Lori Diane. I know, but it just doesn't sound as good. It's better and it's quicker. Much quicker to say.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

So you just got back here to do a quick Vegas trip. I did. I took the little Roma, Ellie and Tyler's dog, back to Las Vegas. And so it was great. I get to go see the new married couple.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

It was nice married when they came back from the honeymoon. I was gonna say rested and refreshed. I don't know how rested they are.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

That's hard. I mean, it takes you a while. After a vacation, right? You have you almost needed a vacation for the vacation. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

And that was that was a lot. That was a lot of work and planning and mental mental exertion. Okay, so you don't really know what we're talking about today. I just put in the Slack, I want to do a podcast called When It Rains, It Pours.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

And I'm like, okay, I'm in. You've got this, Laurie. And you've heard that before. I've heard that when it rains, it pours. Everybody's heard it. Well, I'm gonna preface that. Everyone except my youngest son in his early 20s. I was like, have you ever heard when it rains, it pours? I said this over the weekend. He goes, No. And I was like, Of course you haven't. Of course not. I don't think Gen, what are they? Gen Z.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

They're like, huh? Yeah. I I totally agree. I mean, there's so many sayings we come up with or that we just say because our parents said.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Right. Right. And they are like, wow. Right. And we're like, think it through, Reese, what might that mean? So last week was for me one of those when when it rains, it pours weeks. And I started thinking over the weekend, wow, like if I owned a flower shop, like a brick and mortar flower shop where I'm having to go in and like physically work every day. I don't quite know how I would balance this with these things that are popping up, like family things or just things.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

So you're saying if you you own the flower shop and you have that responsibility of running the flower shop, taking care of my employees, making sure flowers are purchased, making sure I'm doing my book work, all of that, that this period of time, which is how many days?

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Well, let me share. I'm gonna be very open and vulnerable, but in a good healthy way. So it started out first, and I'm allowed to say, as you know, I'm going to be a grandma. Oh, you can tell us now. I can tell now. I can tell now. It's crazy. My oldest son and his wife are gonna have a baby. And Wednesday, I woke up to a text message. I'm gonna try not to cry because everything's fine right now. But they were in the emergency room. Oh, and there were some problems. But right now, everything is okay. But it was very, very, very scary. And so nothing I can do from here because they're in another state. But mentally, my brain is there, right? And my heart. And so I'm spending my time either in panic or in prayer. I have got that two Ps. There's one or the other going on that day. And I also have all these work projects that I had this week that I was actually excited about. I mean, last week, that I'm excited to do, but I can't quite remain focused on them. Oh no, I'm panicked in this time. Does this make sense? I'm panicked trying to remain calm. I'm working so hard to remain calm. Nothing's working. And so this is Wednesday. Then Thursday, my son's car breaks down. Not a big deal, but we have to help deal with it. Friday, his girlfriend, whose parents Okay, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Now we're on two different sons. We're on the second son's youngest son here, living here.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Okay, so this is Reese's car breaks down. Reese's car breaks down. Gotcha. We're here. We're still in a little bit of parenting mode, have to deal with that. His girlfriend, whose parents aren't here, gets in a car accident on Friday. I'm on my way to the grocery store Friday at like five o'clock. Get a call. Anyway, when it rains, it pours.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

And then Saturday, get a call from my dad's nurse. He won't take a shower. He says he already showered. He's a liar. He's a liar when it comes. He just, it's he won't, he hates taking showers. Anyway, so I'm like, you know what? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Move on to the next thing on my list. Just move, just like I have to everything what's going on. I still am not done with the project that I was really excited and inspired to work on last week. So that's where this came from. Because then I start feeling really mentally defeated as a human, as not only a parent or a daughter because I can't get my dad to take a shower, but also a coworker because I can't finish my like all of the things. And the guilt comes over, and like then the should is it time to retire? Maybe it's time I retire. I can't get stuff done. Like my brain doesn't shut down. Right. And I'm like, do florists feel this way ever? Do flower shop owners ever feel like this?

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Am I the only one? Oh, I'm sure all the time, Lori. Well, number one, you know that your priority is your family. So if a work project gets pushed back, we're not gonna go, oh my God, Lori, you can't get anything done. Oh my god, we're not gonna do that.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

So but what if it was a like I know I have this week because my project actually it's one is for Glyffy for Great Lakes Floral. It's not due till Friday of this week. So I know I have time, but you know me, I want to play around with it. But what about a flower shop owner where let's say you have a wedding and you have a week like I had, what do you do?

SPEAKER_02 7:18

Well, hopefully you have some staff or some friends or someone you can call in to make that happen. Because we all have situations like that. And if you don't have that, that's a tough one. That's all I can say, right? Yeah, yeah. That's really, really hard. But most of the time you have a backup that can be there for you in those situations. Right. Because you can't focus. I mean, at that point, you have to delegate much. You have to delegate, you have to be able to focus on what's most important, which is this point was your family, all of these little fires that you're putting out. The second ones are easier, right? Because they're not the emotional drain and anxiety and oh my gosh, you know. No, the others were like, Okay, this is the thing, this is finished. But when you are overwhelmed with emotion, emotional situations like that, those are hard to remove.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Yeah, she has a fender bender. I can run and get her and help and get the police report and get all that. That stuff, I'm like, oh, it's fine. Everybody's fine. No one's hurt. No one's hurt. Cars can be fixed. Right. That stuff doesn't stress me out. The emotional, fear-based ones, that's where I panic or just kind of go into frozen mode because I am also afraid to start working on a project during then because that's when mistakes will happen. True. That's true. You know, but here's my question because you and I both know this. When we do delegate it, there well, I can't delegate this because I'm actually one station. I can't, but I can move it and they're gonna give me grace and go, hey, if you need an extra day, that's fine. But let's say you did have a wedding or a big whatever, and you had to delegate that. There are many of us that even have a little bit of guilt. Mm-hmm. Sure. I should be able to handle this.

SPEAKER_02 9:25

I hear what you're saying that I should be able to handle this. Let me think on that one.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Yeah. Because you and I've talked about this before, like how we were raised. Like pull up your bootstraps and get to work. Like in good ways, in meaning well ways.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

Um Marie Ackerman would always say, put on your big girl panties and let's go.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Let's do it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

And so I think there's a time and a place to put on our big girl panties and go. But I also think there's a time to hide under the covers and go, I want someone to go for me. I need a minute. Yeah. Right? Yeah. We weren't really given that option growing up. Or at least I wasn't. I'm hoping for you because I didn't. But you know, it's not that we weren't allowed it, we just weren't go, or it's okay to take a minute.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

We were never told it's okay to take a minute. I think, Lori, too, it's our age, right? When we're younger, we just would power through all that. Yeah. And so when you're saying, yes, give yourself grace, delegate and all that, there's a part of me back then that would not have done that. I would not have allowed myself time. Yeah. And I don't know about you, but it's the way we were brought up. Right. It was way where it's like this emotional stuff's going on, this physical stuff's going on. Okay, do it, check it off the list, let's go. Well, our end goal is we have a wedding this weekend and we have to talk with this bride because we've committed to her and it's gonna happen. Yep, yep. I mean, in all reality, you just do it years ago, we just powered you just power through it and be Yeah, because that's what our parents did.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

Right. That was the example we had. You just you just did it. I will say something that was quite revealing. Again, I'm being very vulnerable here, but I think a lot of people, especially if you're running a business and you have a family and a husband and you're trying to deal with stuff, dealing with the broken car and then the girlfriend's wrecked car, dealing with that with our 24-year-old and his girlfriend, and she's 22, dealing with that, helping them navigate through that. Boy, they don't know how to navigate well. And leaving that whole situation, my husband and I driving home, we start having a I'll call it a conversation about how much help. I'm not even talking about financial help, I'm saying his perspective, again, because he's you, is much more like we have to let them problem solve. They have no problem solving skills. Right.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

And then the me and Mark, and maybe he doesn't do this. I go, dang, did I not allow her or him to go through that process enough so that they have to do that? Well, that's my guilt.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

That's the mom. I'm both. I'm both guilt. Mark feels no guilt. Mark thinks he's did everything perfect. Oh no. No, I'm I'm the guilt. He's like, he's gotta figure this out. Because I'm like, don't get the first estimate, I'll call and get and Mark's like taking my phone from me. He's like, Re, why don't you call two more places, get two more quotes? That seems a little high, but and you know, Reese's like deer on the headlights. So anyway, I'm getting off topic, but it's kind of on topic because that adds to the stress of wait, I still have these projects that work. How am I gonna focus on this? Because now I also have in my mind that I was a bad parent. How am I gonna fix that? Because I don't have any kids left. And this is good or bad, a lot of times when you are so busy, you don't even have time to think about the guilt because you're moving forward, which is what we prefer, which we prefer why we dive into work mode. Right. So we don't have to think about all of the other stuff. So again, is that healthy?

SPEAKER_02 13:56

I don't know. Well, that's that's a good question. Is that healthy? I don't know. Yeah, but it's it's the truth, and a lot of times guilt doesn't get us anywhere. No, right? It's a negative to me.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

I mean, or just well, I mean, I was raised knowing guilt is not from God, guilt is not from God. Oh, I like that. Okay, yeah, guilt. If you feel guilt, no, God doesn't make you feel guilty. He may cause conviction. That's very different. But guilt is not that's not God. Feeling guilty, and again, it leads to burnout, it leads to resentment, it leads to a lot of other things. Like we have to stop. Guilt does nothing, it it doesn't bring about any kind of positive change. Because a lot of times when we're feeling guilty about stuff, we just sit in it.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

Well, and really, you think about that. Most of the things that we're talking about, you can't change anyway. Right. There's nothing that could be changed about that. Oh, I should've left, I shoulda, shoulda, shoulda. Right. And and that doesn't help anything, except for you could apologize, you know. I really I'm really sorry I didn't teach you these steps how to problem solve. And they would say, Well, what are you talking about? Because Well, right, right, right, because over the weekend.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

Or son came over and was like so grateful and said thank you guys so much, and like, well, we did something right. Anyway, yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

Okay, Lori, we're gonna take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor. FlowerClick's expertise is your online store, your website. We create and professionally photograph current, trendy designs and add them to your website. Just like your physical shop, you have to change out the displays on your website. We do that for you. We merchandise the products on your website to entice customers to buy from you. It'll make you look great, you'll sell more at a higher price, and did I mention those are profitable designs. Your website is your best salesperson. And there's so much more to FlowerClick, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention our tight-knit community of members. We have like-minded business owners who respect and really want to help one another. Our members are amazing, which drives us to do all we can for their success. Don't underestimate the power of what FlowerClick can do for you.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

So here's here's a question I have for you. Now I'm thinking forward, I'm like, okay, project. So I had four projects last week. I got two done.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Okay. I have two left.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Yeah, yeah, two out of four, it's not bad. It's not plus my normal, you know, daily. Everything else you're doing all the time. So as a flower shop owner or florist or whatever, whoever's listening, whatever you're doing, how do you set up systems in place to where when things like this do happen, right? You got a guy or you got a girl. Like I think that's proactive.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

And I think you and I've talked about that many times. It's always keep your eyes open, right? It's that awareness of who you have in the shop, or maybe not even in the shop that you have that you can pull in. It's an awareness of, oh gosh, you know, I can tell that if something happens, I could call Susie and she would come and take this for me. Or she understands me really well and well enough to go, well, okay, I know Vonda would want this in your situation. So I think it's that awareness, and you talk a lot about self-awareness, but I think it's awareness of who's around us that we know truly are our support systems. Yeah. That when something happens, they're willing to step up to the plate. And it might be several people. It might be the person that, oh, this person is going to be able to order the flowers for me. Yeah. This person has really good relationships with the rest of my staff. So they're going to be able to have conversations with my driver and the two other designers or whatever the case is. Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

So yeah, knowing who your people are and what they're gifted at. Correct. We did a podcast, we've done that a long time ago. We need to go back and look at that. But having that conversation now with each one of your employees, asking what it is they love, what's their favorite part of their job, right? And seeing what they say, and then seeing if it kind of aligns with what you see they're good at, right? Almost like matching the socks, right? Matching your socks when they come out of the making term. Are we all on the same page? Do you love that? And making good notes in your journal or whatever you have about your employees, about like this is where they shine. Yeah. And setting them up for success. So when weeks happen and your whole family's down with the flu or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

When it's raining.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

When it's raining and pouring, you've got backup, and you're like, oh, I can have Stephanie in front of house. I've got Janice back up. We're good. The other thing I want to bring up, because this is a very real, a very real reality. Okay. Sometimes you just have to communicate to customers you're closed because of a family emergency. This happens a lot more often than people think. And you have to give yourself grace when you have to do it. I get goosebumps every single time I look in our members-only Facebook page and I see one of our smaller shops, because we have some members that have them and maybe a part-time employee, you know, and they're just getting started or whatever, and something happens. It's out of their control, and they they don't have anything. And our other members are like, listen, shut it down. It's okay. It's okay. Just let your customers know. Let your customers know this will pass. You will be back open. Communicate effectively with your customers. If you have an email marketing, send that out, post, have a pop-up on your website, do it on your social media, cover your bases, leave a voice recording, cover your bases, yeah, go do your thing.

SPEAKER_02 20:26

Yep. And as long as your customers know this is a family emergency or you're out on an education. Right. Whatever, whatever it is, so that they don't think you're closed, close, because that's the worst thing.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Clarity.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

Clarity. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

Clarity. Temporarily closed.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

Or because of, I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

That's better than temporarily.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

Yeah, closed because of will reopen. You know, if you know when, put exactly when. Yeah. Because I'll tell you around here, at least in my city, if there's a restaurant that says close temporarily, oh my gosh, the drama that ensues all over Facebook. Oh my god, they didn't pay their bill. Like, you know, the rumors start a flying. Right. So the more clear you can be, it's fine. People just want to know. We are nosy little looky loos. We just want to be in the know.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Yeah, I have a friend who is in North Carolina and he's been very sick and he's been in and out of the hospital, and he's done just that. I'm sorry, we'll be closed through the weekend because I'm in the hospital. I'm hoping to be out beginning of the week and back to work. Because then there's no question. Because at first I'm like, oh, wow, that's really detailed. And then I'm like, the customers then are praying for him. Right. They're compassion. Yes. And and if they have to get flowers, they'll still come back to him because they know that they're invested.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

Yeah, they're investing healing. Yeah. No, I love that. So I think it's okay. Give yourself permission if you have to close your shop for a day. It's okay. Like you were saying, family comes first. Your your mental health comes first. You're going to have a crash out. Close your store first. Then go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

If you don't have a backup, you you sometimes have to do that, which is so hard, you know, because you're like closing down your baby for a day or two, right? Right. Right. So exactly. Be really mindful of that. Yeah. I didn't really think about how we were going to close this podcast. I just wanted to vent. Well, I think the realistic first steps after being away are like you got to get back into it too. Think of that. Like now today, Lori, you have to go, okay, I gotta get back and try to get my project done. I can't really is prioritize, delegate, and then breathe.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Yeah. And I will say I woke up about three o'clock this morning thinking about it, and I started getting anxiety already. But that is self-created. Okay, so what's the anxiety about? It's about it's silly. It's will I create good content? Will this be okay? Is this what they're gonna want? You know, it's silly. It's all internal. It's just my own self-talk. It hasn't had anything to do with the storm that just passed.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

No, nothing.

SPEAKER_01 23:19

Now it's now it's all work-related.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

Yes. Which is things you usually go through.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Right. Right. That is my normal. But now it's okay. Can I get everything done by October 31st?

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

Yes. Which I can, you know, I can, I can rally. So I had that little hanging over my head. I would wake up like three o'clock, four o'clock, fucking, you know. And then finally, though, I guess I fell back asleep. I heard my husband, he gets up every day at 5 50. And about I don't know what time I heard him blow drying his hair. And then all of a sudden I woke back up and it was like 7 20. I'm like, oh my gosh. Like, good. You need a message. Anyway. So I'm going to, as Ellie says, chunk my calendar, my Google calendar this week, get some blocks on there of focus time and turn my phone on silent and start working on that.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

Start chunking it.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

Start chunking it. Yeah. Yeah. So that's my goal. And I think giving myself permission to when I finish one chunk, stand up, go take a walk around the block. Take bow out. Look out. Go out. Yep. Yep. And look up. Maybe not even take my phone. I can do 10 minutes without a phone. So those little things, getting myself back into those kind of habits will help.

SPEAKER_02 24:54

I don't know. Well, my chunk this week has to be Valentine's Day skinny. So I got Valentine's Day. Oh Vaughn, but that'sn't that crazy. We're not even Thanksgiving. We're not even Christmas. And Flower Click is ahead to Valentine's Day. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

Well, I saw that. I saw all the the Valentine's Day conversation on our members of our Facebook group yesterday, which was Sunday. This will launch tomorrow, but two days ago. And people were talking about Valentine's Day. And then one of our members, Derek, good old Derek, Derek Zockey, he's like, I haven't even ordered my Christmas green.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

I'm like, but that's our industry, right? So some people are working on tomorrow, and others are working, you know, beginning next year. And it's not just one or the other. I mean, we're working tomorrow, then we're working Christmas, and then we're working Valentine's Day. I think everybody is. I think if Derek really thought about it, he probably has already looked ahead to Valentine's Day to know what he needs. Pretty dang organized. So Derek, that was a pretty good bluff we got going there. He's just being Derek. He's just causing trouble. Causing trouble.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

Causing trouble. Does it depend on the wholesaler?

SPEAKER_02 26:09

Sometimes, but I would say Valentine's Day, people are starting to get their packets together. The wholesalers will send out what you ordered last year so that you would have an idea, what you might want to consider for this year. So there's a whole lot of a whole lot going on, but it's all good. That just reminded me. Are we doing another photo shoot this year? January.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

January.

SPEAKER_02 26:31

So January is our next photo shoot because we need to do that's a little one.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:37

Yeah, it's a smaller one. It's January, and we'll have to do spring, Mother's Day, and some for summer. So yeah. Always something.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

Always something. It's all good. But all right, here's my closing thought. Yes, when it rains it pours. But as we know, the storm always passes, right? Yes. And sometimes you're gonna like this. It leaves your garden even stronger and blooms even brighter.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

Right? Yep. That's true. Now we'll talk to you next week and see if that happened. See if your garden was greener and that you were more productive and you felt like you had a real weight lifted off of you and there was a lot of sunshine.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Yeah, I'll keep you posted. I don't know. Right now, my youngest has my car because his is in the shop. It's supposed to be ready today, but he needed it over the weekend because he has to get to work. Sure. He's got to pay for his car. So even though we're not helping him with that part financially, we are helping him because one of the things is I work from home. I don't go anywhere. But again, every day he has called and said how grateful he is. And so gratitude. Gratitude. And that's all I can ask for in a kid is just a heart of gratitude, honestly.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

And isn't that one of the sayings is behind every rain there's a rainbow. And so that's what we're looking for. Yep. Yep. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the Business and Pleasure of Flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa. We look forward to seeing you next week.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.