Finding Your People: The Power of Community (In and Beyond Flowers)

Episode 331: What does community really mean - and why does it matter so much, especially in the floral industry?

In this heartfelt and honest conversation, Vonda and Lori explore the deeper, more emotional side of community; from the neighborhoods we live in, to the flower shops we run, to the industry circles that support us. Through personal stories (including Lori’s unexpected connection with a new church community and Vonda’s reflections on neighborhood interactions), they unpack how community shapes perspective, brings calm, and reminds us what truly matters.

They also dive into how community exists at every level, from your local customers to organizations like American Institute of Floral Designers and Society of American Florists, and why stepping outside your daily routine can make you a better leader, business owner, and human.

This episode is a powerful reminder that community isn’t just where you belong - it’s what helps you grow, stay grounded, and show up better in every part of your life. 

Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:03

Now I think about our shop talk. That is a community within our Flower Clip members. It is a desire of our hearts.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Welcome to the Business and Pleasure of Flowers. We're your hosts, Vonda LaFever and Lori Wilson.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Good morning. Hey there, Lori. What's happening this morning? Oh, you're still on your coffee. Well, it's cold now, so yeah, I would think. I never finished it. I never finished it. What's up? What's up? Well, I'm really glad to be back to work because I worked in my yard all weekend. Like I have 12 bags of leaves. I did trees. I spread pine straw. Yeah. So my body is a little sore. Can I ask you something? Sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

When you know that the weekend, like let's say it's Thursday of last week, and hey, the weekend's coming up. I'm gonna spread mulch and do yard work all weekend.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

I can't wait. No, I had 10 rolls of pine straw that I needed to get. Yeah. Right. So then you start doing one thing and then oh no, then I go out in the yard. This is our story. And the neighbor's dog has done its duty five different literally duty. Yeah. The duty. Mm-hmm. Five times. And I'm like, okay. And it's not the dog's fault. No. It's the dog's fault. That's right. So I took my fence and I was like, I'm gonna move the fence back. I'm gonna make a barrier here because I don't have a total fence. So that no pine straw involved. Okay, so you made extra work for yourself. Uh-huh. Because it was like, well, this is a priority. So then I had to do that and had to get all the leaves out and put this new fence back in there to have a barrier so I don't have to pick up something in a week. Got it. That's how it all started. And that was where a lot of the leaves were. So that was where I started. And do I look forward to the rest? Actually, I I like to be out in the yard. And then before I put the pine straw down, then of course I have to clean the bushes and I have to trim them and everything because why put on the finishing touch without having things look good?

SPEAKER_04 2:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

So I have to.

SPEAKER_04 2:45

Don't you you have a yard guy though? You have lawn care people.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

I have lawn care. They care for the lawn. Oh, but don't do the precise. I can have them do it, but not to your liking. Yeah. Well, I'm not even saying that. I don't mind it. I need to be out in the art. I need the exercise. Got it. And I like to be out and listen to what's going on in the community, believe it or not. Sure. Nice segue. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05 3:12

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Good job.

SPEAKER_03 3:13

Good job. So we're going to talk about community a little bit today. And we've been throwing that word around because I'll just speak for myself. I struggle with community outside of our industry sometimes because this is our world, right? Which is not a bad thing. Like we love our industry. We love our world. We love all our people. But sometimes it's hard to get outside of it because you don't know where it just is around the clock.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

It's true. And we sit at our desk for the most part. And this is where we are, right? Whether you're in your shop talk or whether you're talking with other members of Flower Click, that is the community that we're very involved in.

SPEAKER_03 4:07

Right, right. And then you go to events, and these are your people, that's your community. They're friends, they're the people I look forward to seeing. So anyway, but last week I was telling you that my dad, everybody knows Lenny, he has a little church service in a chapel on site where he lives. And typically my husband and I will go pick him up and take him to our church with us. And it's been great, but it's starting to get a little harder with him to get him out. It's earlier, you know, starts at nine, so we got to get him early. And it's hard to get up and get around when you're 91 years old and can't remember everything. And our church is also going through some renovations. And so every time we go in there, we're worried because there's cords taked down, and it's just a lot of things, not church's fault, but just a lot of things. So it's like, hey, daddy, let's try this service in your building. And it starts at 11, which I was like, better for me too, because I love having my mornings. So I've been going with him, and I've been sharing with you how much I love it. It's people much more seasoned than me in life, but these people embrace me. They get so excited when I show up. I've been able to help them with some technology. There's been a couple times that our the hymn books, usually we have hymn books, but the piano player broke her arm for a little while or had some problems. So we had to use PowerPoint. That didn't go over real well because I don't like that. But anyway, we worked through those things. I was just telling you, every time I go, I'm like, I love these people so much. I love them, and they're so kind and they're so full of wisdom. I learned so much from them, and I look forward to going every week. And I'm like, is that normal? Is that okay? I don't even know if I should be going here because my whole point was to get him in the habit, or I can find someone to go knock at his door to get him up there. Then that's something he could start doing independently. But you're not gonna do that now, are you, Lori? I kind of love it. I love it, I love it. And I love being able to sit there with him and like share a hymn book, like all of these things. And so I was like, what is this? Is this my new community? I that's okay, yeah. But I was like, this is so strange. But I started thinking, like, what kind of benefits does this bring to my life, like even my work life? And it does because then I show up on my first meeting of the week with you on Monday mornings, and I'm like, I have a whole new perspective, yeah, you know, and it truly does just being in that community it does switch my perspective on a lot of things in our world. Um and something about being in that room with those people calms me down. I can be kind of huh, you know, and something about it, I don't know if because they've all been around a time or two, and they don't get all stressed out about anything that's going on. No, and the things they are worried about, those things are real things. They're like literally life and death things, not the truth, you know what I mean? There's some true, true sadness. Anyway, but that's what I've been thinking about. I was thinking about that this weekend because I knew we were gonna talk about this. I was like, so what value does it bring finding a new community bring to my job if I was to talk to people listening now, getting outside of your job, finding a new community. The biggest thing is it brings me a new perspective.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

Sometimes even situations like that bring new ideas. I mean, yeah, you're saying perspective, which is the same type of thing, I suppose, but sometimes you're in a community like that and you're listening and you're like, you know, if we would have tried this in this situation, maybe we would have had better success. Yeah. If we would have looked how they're doing this, 100%, how maybe we could interpret that to do what we're doing better. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:07

Yeah. Do you find it hard to find community outside of your owning a business and working 24-7?

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Not a lot, let me say, to the degree I want to. Yeah. I mean, because we have really good friends in the area. Every other weekend, I have everybody over. We have dinner, we play cards, do whatever, you know. So that's kind of a community, I would say. And then in the neighborhood, my segue, right, into working outside in the neighborhood. We have a little Facebook group, which I'm sure you do too. Yeah, which is kind of a neighborhood. And last week, after we talked, there was somebody who put something on Facebook about the kids in the neighborhood who were riding the bikes and they were pulling wheelies and they were disrupting things and they were loud. And yeah, really, Lori, that really bothered me. I mean, yeah, I I can't even tell you. And so every morning when I would do my walk and I'm doing my prayers and I'm really reflecting on that. So then when I was out in the yard yesterday, it was in the front yard. So the bikers were out, the little kids were playing, but it was very joyful to me. And then the boys were stopped right at kind of at the end of my driveway. So I went over and dumped my wheelbarrow with all my stuff, and I said, Hey guys, how are you doing? They're like, Fine. Oh, they were in trouble. Yeah, for sure. Anyone, and I said, It's a great day to be out riding your bikes, and they said, Yes, and that is about it. So I went around, and then I'm working in the yard and they're sitting there doing their thing, and then they're pulling away and they waved at me and they said, Ma'am, have a really nice day. And I thought, you know, they thought kindness breeds kindness. If the whole neighborhood was kind, they would be respectful. Treat them with respect. They're not a problem. We moved into this neighborhood because we wanted young people, we wanted to hear the joy, we wanted to feel the energy. And truly, what I wanted to respond to the and the post was gone, I will have to say. I looked because I did respond with real positive, but I wanted to respond, hey, you old people who don't want kids in the neighborhood, move. Move you and old folks, you do not need to be in this neighborhood, you do not need to be in this community because the community should be we're taking care of each other. No, anyway. So that was my rule of that, but that was my community yesterday, and I was really happy to hear the kids and to be involved in all of that.

SPEAKER_03 11:48

Yeah. I I totally agree. Nothing makes Mark and I happier when we see kids outside. We have kids across the street and two girls. And same thing. Yesterday we were driving home and they had some boys over. They were all outside and they were throwing a football, and some of them were in our yard, and we were trying to turn in, but they kept all getting more and more in our driveway because they didn't realize we were, and we were like, no, point, point, point. And then they realized it, and then they got panicked like they were gonna get in trouble. Right. And so we pulled in, and then Mark came out, and he's like, No, y'all can have at it. Play in our yard, we don't care, we just needed to get in the garage.

SPEAKER_04 12:29

Yeah, and then Mark was like, I'll play. Like, you know, I was like, and they're probably like, we don't want you how smart play with them, leave them alone, they're with boys. I was like, but uh, it's like we love that.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

That's what they need. We have to help our children understand that it's community. Exactly. That is community, and the old saying, it's what was it? An African proverb, it takes a village to raise a child, and we have to be involved in that, you know, in that community, no matter what community, right? If I'm in the flower shop, I'm the owner of the flower shop. I have my own community, these people are working for me. Yeah, really, we talk about culture, but it is a community, you know.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

Oh, a hundred percent. It's a community. I was thinking also, there are so many communities within our industry. I think about just you and AIFD and how much I've gotten to know about AIFD just by volunteering and helping on the outside. I'm like, wow, what an incredible community of florists, just humans that love this industry. Same with Society of American florists, right? I think if you just dip your toe in, there is literally somebody there on that dock going, hey, come here. I got you, I got you. Let me tell you.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

Sucks you in, doesn't it, Lori?

SPEAKER_03 14:07

Really does. And you know, for so long, AIMD, I was like, ah, that's not me. Remember, I was like, Don't make me go, don't make me go. That's that's scary stuff. That's mine. And now I'm like, oh wow, that's not at all. That's they're human, they're normal. They just are really, really, really great at designing and creating. But there's a whole different perspective. I guess what I'm trying to say with any of those kind of things is there's space for everybody.

SPEAKER_05 14:36

Right. Agree.

SPEAKER_03 14:38

If you're willing to take a step in and go, hey, can I have a seat at this table? And I think it's really helpful. I'm not active in the women in flowers thing because we are just so busy, but yeah. It's incredible. And I know it's women only. I'm sure if a man was dying to get in there, they would have to probably let it, but it is a community of women that need each other and they're so, so supportive. And I think that's great. You know, I think about our shop talk. That is a community within our flower clip members. It is a desire of our hearts to be to belong.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

To belong. Right. And we want to belong to communities for many different reasons. I think that's what's really cool too. You think about people in your community, not the floral community, who want to make your community better, like so they'll be on something for the woodlands, right? Not necessarily your neighborhood. But people have a need to be wanted and needed and to give their input. And I think that's what is interesting in a community is some of us want to just like stay back and listen to what's going on and speak out every once in a while. I agree.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

I think about my oldest child, Davis. He was born with this need to serve just from day one. I mean, remember at the age of four, there are things I could tell you that I was like, oh my gosh, something's different about this kid. He's actually, as we speak, flying back from Nicaragua home to his 37-week pregnant wife. She's still pregnant. God, she didn't go into labor, but went over there because that was his community. He just had to go, and he was sending me pictures all weekend, and they were able to give wheelchairs to quite a few children in this orphanage that have never ever been able to go to school because they're not mobile, and now they're mobile. Oh. So for the very first time, they get to attend a school. And so that's incredible. Yeah. That these children, and so he was sending pictures of the kids in wheelchairs, and he would enter, like, meet Juan. This is community. This means more to him than anything else on the planet, besides his unborn child. But like this, right. This is community. This is his community. This makes him better. This is gonna make him a better husband, a better dad, a better son, a better everything. And so when I think of community outside of our day job, because he has a day job, it's in finance, isn't that crazy? Like it's not right. But when I think of that's community outside of our day job should make us better.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

It makes us kind of more well-rounded, you'd always say, because we're having different communities and drawing different perspectives and energy, I think, even for each one of those communities.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Yeah, energy. I agree, I agree. And maybe in our day jobs, we're not always able to use whatever our talents are or our gifts, because you know, like some business owners may be fabulous designers, but maybe they've gone this whole week and haven't been able to touch flowers because they don't do this, right? Right. But maybe they in another community they're volunteering at the commute local community center and they're able to do something. I don't know, whatever. Yeah, they're using their gift somewhere else.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

So anyway, because we have more than one gift, you know.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Yes, I sure hope so. I sure hope so. We know, Lori, we know you do for sure. I don't know. I don't know. I can't remember if I read it or heard it on a podcast. I feel like I read it in a book by Jen Hatmaker, and I was trying to find it. I have all of it long ago, but I found a little bit about it. And I wanted to try to read what I could because this is what when I think of community, especially as women. So if you're a man and you're listening, you can still listen and you can apply it to yourself. But I think for us as women, sometimes it can be harder because not only are we working full-time or running our own business, then we got to go home. And then our only other role is being a mom, you know, and and that's so important too. But you don't have a minute to spare to go find an extra community because you're also doing little league, you're doing everything else, and you're like, I don't have time for community. This is what she says, and I'm gonna just read it. And this is about elephants. Okay. Elephants says, see, in the wild, when a mama elephant is giving birth, all the other female elephants in the herd back around her in formation, like a circle. They close ranks so that the delivering mama cannot even be seen in the middle. They stomp and they kick up dirt and soil and throw attackers off the scent. So basically, they act like a pack of badasses. They surround the mama and incoming baby in protection, sending a clear signal to the predators that if they want to attack their friend while she's vulnerable, they have to go through 40 tons of female aggression first.

SPEAKER_05 20:32

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 20:33

When the baby elephant is delivered, the sister elephants do two things. I chills. They kick sand or dirt over the newborn to protect its fragile skin from the sun, and then they all start trumpeting. A female celebration of new life, of sisterhood, of something beautiful that was just born in a harsh, wild world, despite enemies and attackers and predators and all odds. Scientists say they normally take this formation only in two cases, when they're under attack by predators like lions, or during the birth of a new elephant. This is what women do. Wow. When our sisters are vulnerable in our community, when they are giving birth to new life, new ideas, new spaces, new ministries, when they are under attack, when they need their people to surround them so that they can create, deliver, or heal, or recover. We get information and we close ranks and we literally have each other's backs. So you want to mess with someone in our community, you have to come through us. So good luck.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

God, that's beautiful. So true.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

So that's what I always think about, and that's why I think community is so incredibly important for women, especially.

SPEAKER_01 22:13

I think it's important for everyone. I think sometimes men don't realize how important it is to them. Agree. But I think women stay together more so than men. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

I agree. I'm curious if community looks different for men than women. And we'll never know. We'll never know. I think, like when I think about my husband, I think he finds community on the golf course. I I was just gonna say the golf course, I think it was a lot. And I love that for him. That's go as much as you need to be there.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

My father played fast-pitch men's softball, and that was his community hands down. Yeah. Yeah, so there are communities, it just looks different.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

Yeah. Yeah, I would I would agree. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the business and pleasure of flowers to your Google morning routine or your flat routine.