What Sticks With You: Grandbabies, Mentors & the Lessons That Last

Episode 335:  This week, Lori is back and fresh off one of the most meaningful experiences of her life: meeting her new grandson.

As the conversation unfolds, what starts with sweet stories of new life and family quickly turns into something deeper. Together, Lori and Vonda reflect on empathy, growth, and the people who shape who we become, often without us realizing it in the moment.

They revisit last week’s conversation about mentors and life lessons, sharing personal stories of the individuals who challenged, encouraged, and quietly influenced their paths. From college professors to unexpected opportunities, it’s a reminder that the experiences we have, and the people we encounter, often lead us exactly where we’re meant to go.

The conversation also weaves into real-life business moments, from preparing for a major floral photo shoot to navigating creativity, trends, and the balance between personal taste and what truly serves your customers.

It’s heartfelt, honest, and full of those “aha” moments that make you pause and think about your own journey.

Because sometimes, the things that shape us the most… don’t make sense until we look back.

Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

So we would put on these seminars on how to listen and how to speak to one another and how to hear one another. I learned so much from that man.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Welcome to the business and pleasure of flowers. We're your hosts, Vonda LaFever and Lori Wilson.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

So Lori, how was that little baby? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

He was good. And I've been home a few nights, and I already have had dreams about him. And the first night, the morning I woke up, I messaged my son to ask how he was. And he said they had a rough night. And I said, It's because I was not there. That is why he misses his grandma. I keep reminding them the older he gets, the more alert he gets, the more he's gonna wake up and go, Oh, maybe he'll be a while. I said, I keep expecting them to text me and go, Hey, can you come back? It's not fun anymore. I'm tired. So anyway. And her mother is close by, right? So her mom and dad are incredible. They're right there. Her whole family's there. Brother, sister-in-law, so help, yes. And they have all of their friends from their church. They have such an incredible community. Yeah. Which we talked about last week. You like that segue? For my husband and I to go and to just witness that is such an incredible comfort and blessing to us when we leave knowing they got this.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

They're wise people. They're surrounded by people that can build into them. They've got great doctors, nurses. Bonda, they have 24-7 Teledoc pediatrics. They can log in anytime now. I was like, what the heck? We didn't have that.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

Oh, heavens no.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Yeah. Nothing. She said one night that the baby seemed to be like the you know how babies have like shallow breathing sometimes. They didn't know that was a thing. That's okay. You do. And so they called in to the hotline and the doctors, oh no, that's fine. It just happened, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, what do you mean a hotline doctor looked at what?

SPEAKER_00 2:36

What kind of nonsense? Yeah. But it eliminates a lot of anxiety, right? I got an answer right now. Right now, I know. Lowers your blood pressure as a parent. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

Going, okay, my baby's gonna be okay. He's gonna be okay. And then after about 10 minutes, he went back to normal. And they had a doctor's appointment the next day anyway, but just at that moment, they're terrified. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

I get it. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Yeah. So anyway, it was good, but I do. I already miss him. I know next time I see him, he's gonna get bigger. Yeah, for sure. That'll bets. Oh, excited. But you did a good job. Solo. I can do it, can't I? You've done a couple of solos. Yeah, we're good at the solos. I don't love doing a solo. I think I've only done one. It's not my favorite.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

I gotta have the feedback. It is more challenging, and I was actually surprised I made it as long as I did. You're probably 24 minutes. You did 24 minutes. So proud of you. I even had an offer from Monty to jump in anytime. I loved that. Monty. Monty? I put him in my little Google Dog.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Monty's our floater. Our quick call. Hey, jump in. The problem with Monty is he's on Hawaii time. Yes. So, but knowing him, he'll answer, I'm in. I'm in. Let me go to another room. I don't so I don't wake my wife. I know.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

That was so sweet.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

Okay. So I listened.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

I downloaded it right before I got on the airplane. And you heard me say, Lori's gonna think I don't have any empathy.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

Yes. And I giggled. I giggled. But then when you start talking about Ed, I cried a couple times, not like booed, but I got teary-eyed and my husband was next to me and he's what's going on, what's wrong? What's your? I was like, I'm losing the podcast. And he thought I was listening to you and me. So he's you're crying because of you. What are you saying, right? Yeah, he he thinks I'm already a little bizarre. So that was nothing new. But I was getting a little emotional because I remember when I met Ed. I think I only met him twice, just out in your front yard. And he was such a sweet man, and I know how much he meant to you.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

Yeah, I just adored him.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Yeah. Yeah. And so I loved that. And it just got me, first of all, I do think you have empathy. I I think you have it. I think you reserve your empathy. And this isn't a bad thing at all, but I think you reserve it for situations. I think you always have it. But because in your lifespan, you've been through a lot, gone through a lot of things in life. And even though some have been really hard, you've come out, like you said, you come out and we learn life from those things. The reason you don't maybe go above and beyond with the emotional empathy part is because you know they're gonna be they're gonna be okay. They guess gotta go through this. It's what I call cognitive empathy. So there's three kinds, which if you come to my session, Vonda, at AIFD, you'll learn all this. So I don't want to give a lot of away. It's like slide in the back and listen. Yeah, yeah. But you are more cognitive. Let's say you are a triage nurse at an ER.

SPEAKER_03 6:16

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Okay, and a patient comes in and they're like telling them some crazy story of what they got themselves into. And you hear some hilarious things, and the nurse just sits there and says, Okay, I need your birthday. And I need like they have empathy because they're a nurse and they wouldn't be in that job if they didn't, but they first have to get all the necessary information, the necessary things before they can care for them because they also know based on the information we can take care of that. They're gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. And I think the more that you've been through, I don't want to say the less empathy you have, but you you're making a good point. I know they're gonna get through it. I know that they're gonna be better once they get through it too. They're gonna be a stronger person. Hopefully, if they work through it in a healthy way.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

True. It depends on the processing. But yeah, I was listening and I was like, nope, she has empathy. It's just more in a cognitive logical sense, where mine is way more, oh my gosh, are you okay? Do you need anything? Let me hold, let me hug you, let me help. A little over time. But I've learned to step back a little bit on those things too. Go, that's a little much on maybe that doesn't help all the time. So, anyway, I loved that. The other thing that I loved is just you talking about all of the mentors and the not just the ones that built into you in a positive way. And I don't want to say negative because it wasn't negative, but the ones that challenged you and it got me really thinking who challenged me in my life. And I don't especially I'm better now, but I didn't love to be challenged. I used to really struggle when I was younger, like especially in college, I think I would get pretty defensive. It depends on who did it. I totally, I would totally agree with that. Yeah. If I can if I have great respect for that person and trust them, they can critique me all day long. And I will just absorb it. But if it's somebody that I'm leery of or I'm like, don't you dare right back at you.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Yeah. You have to trust the person who's giving you the advice, otherwise you're thrown out the windows, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

Yeah. And so I was thinking two people, and again, I think these people spoke into my life that led me to where I am today. It has nothing to do with flowers. Both are professors. One was Dr. Michael Pagano, who was a literature professor, one of my English professors. And he was just crazy. He was young, and he we would watch the movie The Graduate, and then we would write all of these essays on things. He was just a great writer, and he kept telling me to keep writing, and he just kept encouraging my writing in free form or just whatever, and journaling and all of these things. And he helped my love of watching old movies and reading old books and just that type of thing, and to and then writing about them, and then adding my own stories about just that creative side. Right. And the creative side of that. Yeah, yeah. And he would wear, I just remember he'd wear flip-flops to class. I just remember that too. Like he had a beard, he was like the type that type of professor. And then another professor, Dr. Andy Van Gundy, who was much more sharp, like plaid shirts and a tie, and he was the one that made me think I wanted to be a consultant.

SPEAKER_03 10:19

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 10:19

And yeah, because he was also a consultant. So he would have me go with him, a group of us, not just me. And we would facilitate seminars on how to communicate with others. And I think I've shared this with you. And one of the ones I remember the most, we did the National Guard, all of the leaders in the National Guard we did for the state of Oklahoma. And we would have to facilitate these tables with it, was predominantly men back then. This is the 80s. They did not know how to communicate with one another.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

Not surprising.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

And so we would put on these seminars on how to listen and how to speak to one another and how to hear one another. I learned so much from that man. And I think about all of those seminars that I helped him, and I'm like, wow, that's what I do now. That's what I was gonna say. That's what I'm doing, right? In some way, is still trying to facilitate communication among people that struggle with it.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

And that's where the song, some people come along in our lives for a reason. And he was there for a reason. I love it, Lori, when you can identify those people or those places that you learn that. And it's almost like this what deja vu that's God, I've never been here before. Yeah. And then you look back and you go, Oh, yeah, it was when I was facilitating those things.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Yeah, and it's but it's so crazy to me because at that moment, my idea was working for this big consulting firm, right? And some big high glass building, and not in my house behind a computer. It's just so funny. And I'm like, no, that is what led me. I am doing what I wanted to do. It's just looks different. So I thought about that on the plane the whole way. I was like, man, thanks, Dr. Van Gundy. Wow. And he passed away about, I don't know, five or six years ago. I got an email from my college's grad department. And I was like, man, he wrote a lot of books. He was so smart on like communication and organization and leadership and nonverbal and verbal. And he taught a class on communication and argumentation that was just top tier. I was like, man, I can argue with the best of them. It was really incredible. But he did. But I thought about the song that you keep talking about. But my favorite line of it is that last part, if you let them. If you let them. And I think that's where a lot of us have this wall sometimes. I think younger me, when people maybe I didn't respect, I should have, but I didn't. Maybe they were trying to tell me, hey, you need to work on this. And immature 21-year-old Lori was like, No, you need to work on this. Whatever. Yeah, I got that. Because I wouldn't let them because I was young and immature, right? I I wasn't ready. But you were at the age where you knew everything and they knew. I knew everything. They had not, I just didn't have the trust in that person. So anyway, you did good. Thanks, Laura. Gave you something to think about. That was good. It did. It did. I thought it was really good. And I hope it gave other people something to think about. I know it did because we got feedback from some of our pod listeners. We did.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Yeah, I got a couple tech myself, which was great. We love it when you do that. We love it when you reach out and let us know we touched your heart somehow.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

Speaking of reaching out, I keep meaning to email you and Ellie. Uh-oh. Not to switch horses on you. That's okay. But switch horse. We have a photo shoot coming up. We do. Yes, we do. Now listen to me. Listen to me, Bonda. Listen to me, listeners. You know it is no secret. I have a love-hate relationship with the photo shoot. I have to be there because I have severe FOMO if I'm not. Yet when I'm there, I'm slightly miserable and I tell everybody about it.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

No, he's uh You're not really slightly miserable till about day five. And we all are then. And then we're all just in that we cannot stand each other.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

We just glare and then I just hide, but it's all fine. But we laugh. We still laugh even at day five. We do. Because we have to. What do we need to prepare? Because you have been a little MIA lately, and I know it's because you're doing recipes, you're getting everything ready. I know Ellie's doing the same thing because you kind of have been off the virtual.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

We're doing fall, Christmas, and Valentine's Day 20. Oh, I love Valentine's Day. So there's a lot to do. And so I always prepare the recipes. Of course, you have to order the flowers, then prepare the recipes, or vice versa. All of those at the same time, anyway. So that's what I've been doing and the prep work. And in the back of my mind, Lori, is still the people who say, I don't want somebody else's recipes. I don't want somebody else's work. You can do all that with AI. And I'm just thinking, oh my gosh, the people who are doing the pictures with AI, I feel bad for their websites because it suffered. It is not real-looking designs. And whoever is putting those on there and then trying to duplicate those, they're setting themselves up for failure, basically. Yeah. And I love it when people want to do their own designs on their website. I get it. Get it. But the time and the money and the effort it takes to do that and do it right is a lot harder than you think. I agree.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

Oh, hence why we've been planning for quite a while. You've had to have meetings with the whole web team, you and Cammy and her team about what's coming down. Cammy's been working on it behind the scenes, just getting all the coding right. I just get all the slack messages, and there was something about the number. New code, yeah. They're new code. All the new code or new all that pre-planned. Yeah. What are you going to call them?

SPEAKER_00 16:55

Yeah. So that's what we're working on is to make sure that when we show up, that everything is organized and ready to go. So I have notebooks at this point, printed out. And this day and age, do you still need to print it? Yes, I do. Because it's part of our check system. So I hand them out, then we do these, and when they're done, then moves on to Ellie and you then to do all that.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

And then we do this at social media with them because we don't want that to be AI either.

SPEAKER_00 17:23

No, no.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

So we've actually rented a studio so we have more placement for social media. More placement, real natural light. It's really natural light. We can do more videos for social media. Like it's a lot of cool, exciting stuff, but it's a lot to get done in eight days. It is, it is. And thank goodness my baby came early. Yes, because you weren't gonna be there. I wasn't gonna be there. We'll make this happen, but it's but you know what I think back is so funny because when we were like, it's probably and you were like, let's just wait. Because we're like, do we get a sub? Do we find somebody else? And you were like, nah, let's just wait. It's almost like you were like, I just feel like it's gonna work out. It is so crazy. And it did.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

And we have Layton, who is my granddaughter, who once was my helper last time. It helped me with the social, and she was so good at that.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

The two of you, so good, and we've got some ideas for this. And again, that's why it's all hands on deck for the social media because we want it to look it is real, not want it to look real.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

It's we want it to be real, everything we creative and all of the things, and then we're also bringing in Campbell, who is just graduating from eighth grade, so it's all happening.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

And so we're making sure she has her nails done because she's got beautiful nails.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

She's got to have beautiful nails because we're doing some cursages this time. Yeah, it'll be good.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

That's exciting. I know a lot of our clickers are excited for the cursages.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

Just time for an update. Corsages, corsages, and boutine ears and handheld. There's a lot to do, and it'll be good. Yeah. But we're not bringing in a casket this time. No casket this time. Thank goodness. So you don't have to sleep in the casket. We don't have to sleep in the casket this time.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

Right. It'll be a good time, I know.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

It's always a challenge because when we start to look at what we're gonna do for all those holidays, it takes a lot of back-end research. What colors are coming forth? What can we do that's new, but still maintain what our members and consumers are looking for? Right. There's some stuff out there that you're like, I just don't think that's gonna fly the majority of consumers. Obviously, there's a market for everything, right? Our niche is more what is an everyday consumer, even the young, younger market. So we're looking at all generations, which can be challenging. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

It it truly is. And then it's always challenging because then some people look at art stuff and don't realize that's what we're doing. They just look at it and see how it applies to only them.

unknown 20:12

Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:12

Let's say I'm 65 years old and I own a flower shop and I look at them like, I don't want that. I wouldn't, why would they make that? I mean, maybe that's not your style, but it's our other flower click member who is 34 and is straight on on Main Street and or has this flower studio or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

Like, and I think a lot of flower shops, and don't take this wrong, are short-sighted because they put things on their website that they like. Oh, and I only like this, so this is what I'm gonna put on, or I know my customers are gonna buy this because I like it, instead of going, okay, you want customers who are 20 years old and 80 years old. Yeah, so they're not gonna get everything that you want. So, what can you do that's gonna span the ages and still stay true with your brand? And power click, we really try to do that is to stay true with a look and a brand and consistency, but not go, oh, it's only for the 60-year-old, oh, it's only for the 40 year old. Agree, you and it's hard.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

It is it is because working with certain flowers when we're doing photo shoots, I'm like, I hate this flower. The majority of the world doesn't, it's just me.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

So you and I both have that same yeah, we do in LE2, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:33

It's like we don't love the fall flowers, but man, I've gonna be a free spirit rose all day.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

I love my free spirit, so I do love an orange. So I'm not a fan of sunflowers, it's no big secret in the world.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

I just don't love sunflowers.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

Are we doing Christmas? Yes, we are doing Christmas. Okay. And see, that's another thing. Do we will we have Christmas flowers? Christmas flowers are pretty basic, right? It's greens? Do we get Christmas greens? I ordered Christmas greens if they're not ready. Not a problem. I have to make a call today to see, but I can do a little harvesting here and shove them. I know you and Julie have gone outside with like big old shears before. We have, but I do have a holly plant here, which I think I'm gonna clip and take with me because you can never get holly this time of year. And I have three different kinds of evergreen in my yard. So I think just that's crazy to be sure that we have them. And then pine cones. I did my pine cones. I have beautiful pine cones in my yard here in the floor. We have beautiful pines. And so did you know that you take the pine cones and you put them in the oven? What? Yes. So because you don't want all those little bugs. So you have to take the pine cones and you wash them with vinegar and water and shake them off and then you put them in the oven for an hour at 250 degrees to make sure they open and there's no little buggies. Because I know how much you just love a little buggy girl. Oh, yeah. So I had to prep my pine cones too. Wow! I did not know that.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

That is a great little fact. Yeah. Little thing. Okay, so in Shop Talk this week, we were talking about add-ons. I know we don't like those words, but I don't know what else to call them. And one of our members was saying, I think it was Teresa Callucci, who was talking about how they added on for Mother's Day like little butterflies. Yep. And it was like selling off the shelves, like out of the cooler, left and right. They put two butterflies on, charged ten dollars or whatever. It was great. I was thinking, what little thing like that could we use for Christmas?

SPEAKER_00 23:47

So for Christmas, maybe little baubles that you have in the store. Um you know, that's like little ornaments. Little ornaments. Yeah, that's what I would say for add-ons is like to add to the arrangements is like, what are the things when you're shopping this summer when you're at market that you can do to add into it? That would be a keepsake that they would have later, or that would just elevate the centerpiece as a whole.

SPEAKER_02 24:11

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Because again, I keep picturing that one aisle. I know in where we're going. And I was like, what I'm gonna go look down that aisle and see what could I pick out for like fall?

SPEAKER_00 24:23

That is such a simple way to do a little upgrade. Yeah, so for fall, you can do monarch butterflies, right? And we usually have those little bumblebees, which I think are adorable to add to something. So we have some opportunities, I think, that we can.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

Yeah, and Susan Sager said they always do a ladybug on a sunflower. Yeah, like that's precious. That's that's a cute idea. They're really cute. Love that. I was just like, any little thing like that to pop, make it just a little custom, just slightly custom, takes no more time, right? You know, but a little quick anything you can do to add extra five dollars here, ten dollars there, and customize.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Yeah, makes it feel more special for him anyway. So yeah, yeah, so that's it. So just be ready. We're going to take some new pictures for our podcast. So we have to make sure that we're have some choices because Ellie's gonna need a new picture. And I'm like, okay, I know.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

And so we have to pack more, and that's what I'm like. You know what? I gotta make sure I have what she needs. I may have white or black, pink, white, or black.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

I don't know if I have a long sleeve pink shirt. You have a beautiful pink sweater. I do. So that would work. But would that work? We're gonna make things work, Laura. Whenever it works, I don't want to go to the mall. You clickers, just be watching. So in the summer, sometime our picture will change again. Just again. No, we have to keep it updated. Maybe she doesn't want us to keep looking young too long. I don't know what the deal is. We're just aging out. I guess.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

I don't know. It's depressing. Look, not to change something, but I got new glasses. Ooh, those are cute. Finally got them, but they're too big, so I have to take them in today. Is that Warby Parker? Yeah, but they're too big, so I think they can adjust them. They came in the mail.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Yep, go get them adjusted and then they'll be ready for next week. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was like, I like them, but I'm like, whoo, I can't wear them.

SPEAKER_02 26:25

They literally fall off my head. So that's a bit of a problem. But anyway, all right, Vaughn. All right, see you soon, okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Bye.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the Business and Pleasure of Flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

We look forward to seeing you next week. So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.