Mother's Day Memories: It's the little things.

Episode 019: Vonda and Lori have a casual conversation about Mother' Day. Starting with a little flower care, to childhood memories and onto memories of Mother's Day in the flower shop. The stories might be just like yours. 

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Transcript

Vonda:   0:10
I'd like to continue with a little bit of history about Mother's Day because when I was doing this research, something came up that I was actually very surprised about.  

Vonda:   0:30
Welcome to The Business and Pleasure of Flowers we're your hosts Vonda LaFever  

Lori:   0:35
and Lori Wilson and we believe the business and friends are perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.

Vonda:   0:49
 Welcome to our Mother's Day memories episode Lori, we've got a lot to share today.  

Lori:   0:55
We do and I just set about seven seconds ago before we started this got a text from my mother in law. And she just sent me to beautiful pictures of her peonies plants in her garden and said, Thinking of you today, here, I know no one else can see it, but maybe you can see. 

Vonda:   1:20
Nothing more beautiful.  

Lori:   1:22
But you know what, Vonda, I probably bought her this probably three or four years ago. They have not come out every year.  

Vonda:   1:30
Really? That's so surprises me. When I lived in Dixon, we had ah whole side of our house full of peony bushes that interesting enough came from my mother in law, Papa Bill would split the plants and then send them home to me. Or else plant them for me. We had a lot of peonies, and you couldn't enjoy all of them at the same time. So I would take the peonies as they were just coming out. I know you guys can't see my hands, but, they were just starting to bloom and show a little bit of color. I would cut the stem of the peony, and I would take usually about 10 of them and wrap them in newspaper. So you lay them in newspaper, you roll them up and I would put him in my refrigerator. You could either take them to the shop. Sometimes I did, but most the time I actually had a walk in cooler at the house. I would put them in there and leave, um, dry pack and then bring him out a couple weeks later and then a couple weeks later, so when they weren't blooming in the yard, I could still have them.  

Lori:   2:37
So I have a question, because on these pictures, one that's not blooming is just like a little green. Do you see that? Is that when you would pick it.

Vonda:   2:45
a little bit more open than that. They were just like little knobs. But there were bright pink or white, or whatever The color was. One year I had him all the way up till the Fourth of July. So it's pretty cool. I didn't realize that. But I'm like, What do I have to lose? I have so many of the peonies and I love them so much like we all do. I mean, I love the peonies  

Lori:   3:07
and, you know, though I living in Houston, I attempted, Of course, we all know it's no secret, I do not have a green thumb. I did get a peony plant when we moved here five years ago. It has never bloomed, but Ohio, I had one, same thumbs same human that planted it and it bloomed. Maybe it's soil. Maybe it's temperature. I don't know.  

Vonda:   3:37
it could be a combination of everything.  

Lori:   3:40
This is a great little conversation because we're gonna be talking about Mother State memories. Or mother in law memories I think we can talk about both right?  

Vonda:   3:50
Absolutely. Absolutely. But you know what, Lori? Last week we started with a review from one of our listeners. And that was really fun to be able to share that with our cliquers.

Lori:   4:05
Yes, so we have another review to share. This one is a great one because it is our podcast about Mother's Day. And this one was for my eldest child.  

Vonda:   4:19
Oh perfect.  

Lori:   4:20
My 25 year old son who just recently listened to our podcast. To be honest, he has not jumped on the bandwagon because he's like, Is it about flowers? Anyway? He listened to the one we did about Who do you want to be coming out of Covid 19. And he sent me this review. He said, First of all, just Mom, you use bigger words on your podcast than you do in real life like what? but I don't know what that means. But he said at the end of Episode 16 you were talking about how, because I said what was giving me life was that I could watch him do Facebook lives and Instagram lives for youth and youth group there. And he said, I like your podcast. You guys sound good together and play off each other well, you sound very clear and professional. It's almost seems like more life advice than flowers. I just gave you five stars subscribed. So you know, whether he listens or not. I do know he would only speak truth if he didn't like it, he would say, You guys are not very good at this. So anyway, that's our review for the day. Yeah, Thank you, Davis.  

Vonda:   5:42
Awesome. We love that, after a flower conversation and a personal review, I'd like to continue with a little bit of history about Mother's Day, because when I was doing this research, something came up that I was actually very surprised about. Mother's Day became a U. S official holiday in 1914 and was created by an Anna Jarvis in 19 0 8 right, and it took a while. She really worked hard to get it a National Holiday. It was all about Mother's Day work clubs to teach local women how to properly care for their Children. Now, I didn't know that  

Lori:   6:22
I didn't either. In what's interesting when you were sharing this with me, the fact that she did all this and she was not even a mother herself or married, right. She must have had, you know, an amazing mother.  

Vonda:   6:37
I think that was the story. She had an amazing mother. And it was a way to honor the sacrifices mothers make for their Children. So her mother must have sacrificed a lot. She felt for her.  

Lori:   6:53
Yeah, this is really interesting. But then you said there at one point something made her mad and she, like, denounced Mother's Day and she spent the last half of her life trying to get it to go away. Is that right?

Vonda:   7:08
She originally conceived as a personal celebration between mothers and families and then the day involved wearing a white carnation as a badge and visiting one's mother and attending church services. So that was the national holiday in what she wanted it to be. But that was before, you know, florist card companies. Other merchants capitalized on the popularity. Then she started speaking out against the confectioner's, the florist and even charities because they were taking away what she wanted Mother's Day to be. And she actually worked until her time of death in 1948 and disowned the holiday all together. It was just kind of sad to me, like, Oh, my gosh.  

Lori:   7:53
She, probably in her older age that I've created a monster. No, you can't stop it.  

Vonda:   8:00
My thought too was by then she forgot the mother's love because she didn't have any Children. Who understand that, You know, sometimes that card those flowers that little box of chocolates can mean the world to you.

Lori:   8:15
Well, especially, you know, back then, most families. If you grew up in the same town, you are always in the same town. It's not like you were traveling around because of business or getting transferred like we do today, right? So now sometimes all we can do are send flowers or a card because we're a 16 hour drive away from our moms.  

Vonda:   8:40
You think of your first mother's day as a child. Your family was all pretty much all in your town.

Lori:   8:47
growing up in Bartlesville, Oklahoma. Yeah. Every aunt, uncle, cousin, Grandma, Grandpa. Everybody lived in the same town. And so our mothers days were very similar to what you just described. Everybody went to church. The thing I do remember Vonda is my grandmother. My mom, They all wore corsages. I don't really remember where those came from. I can remember going with my grandma to the local flower shop on the corner. I've told you the story before and how we would look through a book to pick what you wanted. And I had to stand on my tiptoes to see the book because it was on the counter. But I suspect fact, she ordered those corsages for her not only herself, but all our daughters she had three daughters, and so they all had those when they were typically carnations. You know, a couple pretty carnations. But that was a big deal. You did that, we only played with family on that Sundays no stores were open. Everything was about family.

Vonda:   9:54
interesting that you say about the flowers wasn't even mentioned in here wearing a white carnation as a badge. When you're visiting one's mother

Lori:   10:02
you know what I always wondered, though, and I didn't really think about it as much as a child that I thought about it when I become a mom, was every mother's Day growing up with all the family It was still my mom, my grandma, my aunts that had to cook and prepare and make sure the kids were ready for church and they still had to do everything. And it was supposed to be their day.  

Vonda:   10:27
Exactly.  

Lori:   10:28
Do you have a memory of a Mother's Day as a child? Were yours similar to mine.  

Vonda:   10:33
Just what you mentioned. Everybody would get together Easter, We got together, and then we would also then go to my grandmother's for Mother's Day. It was My grandma was. My aunt was my mom. And you're right. All the cousins would play together. We had a great time. But after the meal, here's the mothers, all in the kitchen, cleaning up. One year I remember they tried to get the fathers the dads to do the kitchen. They ended up just getting him out of here because it just makes it harder.  

Lori:   11:02
Yeah, that would have been a disaster. Also, you know, I do have one memory that I just remembered. This would have been in the late seventies, early eighties, so I was probably elementary school, and my dad wanted to surprise my mom. This is the one mother day that I remember was a surprise, with a car. Now, not a brand new car. We were not those kind of people, but we had to, like, clean the house and we were going to get to go with him for this surprise. My parents were big on you do all this work, and then you'll get a reward. So we were doing that and we drove. It was on a Saturday because, of course, they weren't open on Sundays and we went to a car dealership and we got her a red four door Honda Accord 19 Whatever stick shift. But I can remember driving up the road and we had a sign we the kids had made a happy mother's a sign my dad was driving. We pulled in the driveway and we just started honking, honking, honking, honking, and I just remember I was so excited cause my mom came out and she just couldn't believe it. So that's my one fun memory. I remember that. And again, it wasn't a brand new car, but it was so exciting for us, but I'm pretty sure we literally worked our rear ends off helping my dad around that yard in order to go be able to do that. You know, you want something you could participate in. We were a part of it. So that is, That's a fun memory. It wasn't flowers. We didn't get her flowers. But I don't know what happened to her old car. I don't know anything after that. I just have that memory.  

Vonda:   12:57
The other memory I have for Mother's Day when I was in high school, prom was always the Saturday before Mother's Day. And you don't even think about it then. But here you're out at a prom. You spend the night the next day we would go to State Park, which was the big deal. The mothers would just be like, OK, here's your card, Mom. But I am going.  

Lori:   13:25
Yeah, yeah, well, you know, that still happens. There's a lot of, well, not right now because all the schools are shut down, but there's I feel like every year there are flower shops I've talked to that are just so frustrated that the schools are doing, you know, prom the same weekend, and it's not as much. They're frustrated because it causes them more work. They're actually more frustrated because that's not fair to the moms.  

Vonda:   13:53
It's not Oh, my gosh, I look at that and I went to prom four years. My brother went a couple years, other brother Oh, you know, it was years that Mom never really was honored on Mother's Day, because of that.

Lori:   14:08
and Mom probably never complained. I knew we were going to be doing this. Mother's day memories, My mom passed away a few years ago as your mom passed not quite a year ago, and my mom had a ton of photo albums tons. She loved pictures, just tons of pictures, and she would never know how to put anything on like a jump drive. In the later years of her life, she spent hours looking through photos. anyway, She had an entire photo album of poems that we had written her as Children, some for birthdays some for Mother's Day, some for their anniversary. My mom, as you know, was a kindergarten teacher and she loved every gift needed to be homemade. She was not impressed by material things. She was impressed by creative things. So one year I wrote her this poem, and I'm going to say I was probably eight or nine now, and I use the word poem very lightly because again, eight years old. It's called Happy Mother's Day, Mama. And it says some moms are mean Some moms are nice. Some moms have dandruff. Some moms have lice. Some moms names are Gertrude or Ethel, but my mom's name is Mary cause she's real special. You're a great mama, Mama. No matter how it goes, I wouldn't even trade you in for a littler nose. I love you. You're spoiled. Youngest daughter Lori. Oh,  

Vonda:   15:53
I love that.

Lori:   15:53
And she kept it, I'm telling you, when we would give her these things for weeks, Any time someone came over, she would pull it out and say, Look what my Children wrote for me. Look what they made me. And that was, that was her love language. As an Adult, I could buy her brand new outfit and she'd go, aw Thank you. But if I wrote her a poem or if I did something like that Ah, that just lasted forever. I think I'm a little bit like that now, I do love a new outfit, but I have a much more oven appreciation now then I did as a child, I was like, Why does she just want us to make her something.  

Vonda:   16:37
My Children all give me a card. And they always write something in it. So the card, it is a purchased card. But it's always that hand written message that's in there. And I'm sure I have 25 years of those cards stashed  away. Because I don't throw em away,  

Lori:   16:54
right, No, no. Especially if they have something written in them, if they don't have it. I probably have thrown them away. I've got so many great memories of Mother's Day, but then I also have my one Mother's Day. That is really vivid in my mind Was the time when I was a teenager. So that tells you right there, Okay, I was probably 15 or 16 and my brother was two years older than me and my sister wouldn't even help from college yet. And it was Mother's Day, and we just kind of forgot about it or we just didn't think much of it. You know, we were at that age that my dad didn't feel the need to come around and say Children, go get something for your mom because we were teenagers with driver's license and part time jobs. And I'll never forget that Sunday when she came in the room and she just said, I'm disappointed and you were like, Oh, like those words, you know, And so I think we quickly pulled something together. I'm sure we wrote her a poem or we did something and she forgave us. But I think also what she loved was the fact we had to work together as kids to collaborate, brainstorm and come up with something creative. She loved seeing us do that, whether it was a poem or we would put on a play, you know, never-ending  play. That would go on forever where we would start losing the audience. And finally, the only person left in the audience was my grandma because everybody had bailed, because there was no end to our show. But those things she just loved seeing those, but let me ask you this. You have childhood memories and Mother's Day. What are some of your greatest Mother's Day memories of when you owned the flower shop and your kids were at home and you were in the thick of it.  

Vonda:   18:44
when we had Mother's Day at the flower shop. I would say, then it was always crazy. We did not deliver on Mother today, so we would deliver all week. And then my Mother's Day. We really were closed. Mother's Day then was a day that my Children knew we weren't going anywhere. We're not leaving the house well we could go see my mother in law because she was across town. But Mother's Day was a day that we pretty much stayed in because I don't want to go out. I'm spent. And they were, too, because they all worked in the flower shop. Even Ellie as child was there helping, support the flower shop, you know, whatever we needed to do. So Mother's Day at home was just beautiful, cause we usually stayed at the house. We worked in the yard because that was very relaxing. I think many times, Mother's Day I mowed the yard because that was very relaxing for me. Yeah, the ridding lawnmower and just enjoy the beauty of the outdoors. My kids always made beautiful cards or had a nice message. I remember when the Children were younger, though, when my boys were in daycare center. You love those little homemade gifts? And even at school they would come home with the handprints and clay. Then they would have to wrap them themselves And those little hands, whatever the little hands made, you just kind of were just,  remember those.  

Lori:   20:08
Yes  

Vonda:   20:09
and they were so proud of them. And I think part of it as a mother. Don't you remember how proud they were to show you what they had made?  

Lori:   20:16
Oh, yeah.

Vonda:   20:17
I was like, Oh, I love that, they're so proud of what they did. And that made you a even more proud mama.  

Lori:   20:23
Yeah, exactly like I was saying, I think my mom loved the fact that we were proud of our work and we got together to create this. It's the same feeling we get when our kids bring us something that they made. Even a couple months ago, I had this mug that one of my kids had given me years ago, and it's a mug that you're supposed to have drawn a picture on and bake it. And it's one of those types, it had to be one of my boys because they got it to me, but they never decorated it. But I don't understand. And so finally, my sweet daughter like who is in her twenties, was  like, I'll fix it. And so she decorated it just a couple months ago. And I love that mug. I can't say a little girl did it, but I would say 24 year old little girl made it.  

Vonda:   21:07
Oh, yeah, yeah. I love that. When we look at all the memories we had as Children. And then when we have Children and now adult Children, Mothers Day is always changing. But now Lori mother stays even different for us because we don't have mothers with us anymore, right? Like you said, this is the first Mother's Day that my mother is not with me. What do you wish you could say to your mom right now for mother day? What is it that you miss the most? All of those things. And and, you know, you just reflect on those everybody who's listening. What would you have said, wish you would have said or wish you would have done you No, Not regret wise.  

Lori:   21:58
You know, my story is a little bit different then yours, well, we all have a different story but my mom because she hemorrhaged and was alive for four days. Five days. I feel like I was blessed that I got to be next to her and lay with her and tell her everything I ever wanted to tell her,  and cry and sing hymns and do all of those things that I am just beyond grateful that I had that opportunity. My sister and I, we talk about how the way God chose to take my mom is the only way she could have because my mom was never the one that would talk about death or talk about goodbyes or talk about any of that because it was too painful for her. As you know, she had Parkinson's and she had it for many years, and she was in the last stages. But any time we tried to talk to her, especially my dad, she would say things like he's trying to put me in the grave. He's already, those kinda things just because you don't deal with it. My mom played basketball as you know, she played on the Oklahoma women's senior Olympic basketball team. And when she got Parkinson's, she still played up until she couldn't play anymore. And that was when I would take her to physical therapy. They would ask her What? What is it you want to work on? And she's like, Well, I want to play basketball which she never did. So if I could have had one wish, it would have been to let her get out there and play basketball one more time because that was her  love. She just loved it. And we got so much joy watching and my kids watching Grandma play on a basketball team like not everybody can say that. So that just is. That's just who she aas. She just never wanted to lay around or sit around. I can't look at it as would've Could've should've, but I'll tell you what I always did as I always send her flowers now is the one thing she absolutely loved. And I've talked about on the podcast before, how she would keep them way beyond the expiration date because she thought, well, There's still a little pink in this one. I'm gonna keep it. It's fine. She loved it because that is not something she would spend on herself. I know we're in this industry, but even if I wasn't in this industry, there is something about having a knock at your door opening it up and a person with this beautiful bouquet of flower saying this is for you, You know what I mean? And it's just like, Wow, somebody's thinking of me. I loved that I had those opportunities.  

Vonda:   24:48
Yeah, I would spend my mother flowers every Mother's Day too after I moved away. But I look at that and much like you, I was blessed to have the opportunity to tell my mom. You know, I loved her. I wasn't there enough, you know?  I could have been there more, but I would pick up the phone. It was always so funny because you do things that you remind you of your mother.  Oh, my gosh. So I would just start laughing this so I would just pick up the phone. I go. You would not believe what I just did. All I could see was you doing this and me watching you. And now I'm doing the same thing and laugh. And we would just, you know, just share those moments and those for the really good things. But when I look at it, I say, What do I wish that I could have done with my mother? And I think that was a vacation. I always tried to get her as an adult to go somewhere with me.  As Children We were Every year We went on vacation together all the way through high school. My mom and dad would take my Children on vacations, which was pretty cool. I always wish that when I say I'm going to Cabo and she'd go, I know that Be nice Some year that I would have just got the ticket and went and got her and taking her with me m not even given her a choice. No choice. Just we're going to do it. No excuses. We've just been blessed, just so blessed to have beautiful childhoods. Beautiful memories with mothers. Because there's so many people, Lori, that aren't as fortunate as we are.  

Lori:   26:25
Oh, I know, and I think about that every day. And I think about my most vivid memory of an adult Mother's day. The big thing was breakfast in bed. My husband, my two kids. I have three, but the 3rd one didn't come along for a while, but they always made me breakfast in bed and I loved it. It was, you know, a big thing. And the hardest part was actually staying in bed long enough. You know, for them to bring it, but I knew that was the rule. Well, my third child was born and he was probably, I don't know two Let's just say he was one a half two years old and it was Mother's Day and they were bringing me breakfast in bed and they had made waffles. They called them Daddy Waffles because that is what Mark makes Daddy waffles. This is my memory of it. I remember Reece was on Davis's hip. He was carrying him because he was a baby and Davis was like eight. Mark was handing me the tray of waffles and a little pitcher of hot syrup, and Reece reached out for Mommy hits the syrup, the entire pitcher of syrup, and I don't know why they thought I needed a gallon of syrup. But there was like a gallon of syrup, but it was a huge, hot, hot fresh out of the microwave all over me and my baby, all over my carpet. And for a brief moment, everyone froze and then the screaming, Reece started screaming. I looked down. He's covered in syrup and like red immediately, so I jump up, grab him, run in the shower. All I could remember hearing Mark go, I'm never doing breakfast in bed again, Like, not even concerned that we needed to go to the hospital like, that was the last time I've had breakfast in bed, and I got new carpet out of the deal. So I guess that was my Mother's Day gift. I look back now and laugh. But it wasn't funny. It was just That's what happens.

Vonda:   28:33
I know it is. Well, like I said, we're very, very blessed. And we hope everyone, all of our cliquers have some great memories that, you know, share with you. Maybe you're listening to this Mother's Day episode, share it with some of your coworkers or your family's. Share those memories. That's what they're meant to be done is to share him with either your family members of your co workers  

Lori:   28:55
or post on our podcast group.  

Vonda:   28:57
Oh, I'd love, but wouldn't that be fun. 

Lori:   28:59
Sad memory, any kind of memory, Mama memories all week long, we should be posting Mama memories in honor of all of our moms. So, Vonda, what is giving you life today? What are you loving?  

Vonda:   29:13
What I'm loving today is not anything on my desk. It is the fact that I have been problem solving all morning. To try to get florist their flowers with all the delays that are going on in the flights from Colombia, Ecuador that some things came into Miami late. And now I've been a coordinating to get flowers to our members. And that's what's giving me life because I'm helping solve problems, which I like to do. And I know how hard it is if you don't get something when you're expected to get it. Just thats giving me Life is Feeling that I'm helping someone else.  

Lori:   30:01
Yeah. So you're going to be able to, add the words logistics coordinator to your resume.

Vonda:   30:06
I think so. I could do that logistics coordinator. One more thing.  

Lori:   30:13
Well, it's funny cause you're doing that here. And then I can hear my husband in the other room. He's doing the same thing only with oil between cargo ships and trains and he's trying to do something, like maybe the two of you.  

Vonda:   30:26
Yeah, Mark, I in and of course Audrey's in the background, taking care of all that as well, Mike and Amy. And we have all these people. But  thank God, for Audrey and I mean that. And all the calls she's been making to all of our flower clique members and taking care of that in the back end. So, yeah, that's what's giving me life, Lori, What is giving you life right now?  

Lori:   30:47
Well, that you are problem solving. That's making me happy because it has to do with all of our members. We want them to be happy. You know what? You know, Yesterday you and I held our first virtual office hours. You know we did two hours. We just opened the zoom meeting. We told our members if you got questions, come on, the professors are in and we'll do what we can. And you know what I loved it because people trickled in and out. So we had time to talk with a lot of them. One on one, or at least in a small group. We didn't have some big presentation. We were just there to see what's going on. And some of them had questions about the S B A loans, some people were like, What are you all doing? Just wanting to check in. And it just made me happy because we're all being, you know, still quarantined for the most part and the fact that we can come together like that I think it made them happy. And I know it made us.  

Vonda:   31:50
It was It was cool. It reminds me of a book. The precious present.  

Lori:   31:55
Yes. I gave you that book. Yes.  

Vonda:   31:58
And that's what you're telling us. And when we talk about mothers, it's all about being present.

Lori:   32:04
Yes,  you're exactly right. And my devotion book I had this morning it was all about presence, living one day at a time. So glad you brought that up. All right, well, thanks for hanging out with me again, Vonda.  

Vonda:   32:18
Yeah. It was great to have a shared memories, Lori.  

Lori:   32:20
We have certainly enjoyed our time together today, and we look forward to being with you guys again. If you have any questions, concerns, comments, anything we would love to hear from you. You can always email Lori@flowerclique.com. Also, if you enjoy our little podcast, go ahead and click that subscribe button. That's very helpful for us, and you can even leave a review. And we hope you join us next week.  

Vonda:   32:47
So we hope you come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mind set can take you to new levels in life and business.