Turtles are like people: both can only move forward if they stick their neck out

Episode 025: Are you like a turtle and want to stay inside to stay in your safe space, inside your shell, for a little while longer? It might just be the time to move forward! Vonda and Lori share thoughts what we can learn from the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare, Jaws the Animal planet turtle and share the 4 lessons we can learn from a blog by Ian Brookes. 

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Transcript

Vonda 0:05

As the turtle we tucked in when the coronavirus hit and we felt safe in our own shell or our own space, our own corner. But then we peaked our head out for mother's day. Right. Welcome to the business and pleasure of flowers. We're your hosts. Vonda LaFever.

Lori 0:28

and Lori Wilson . And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us Vonda.

Vonda 0:42

Lori. This week. I have another story to talk about something that happened on my walk.

Lori 0:48

Oh gosh. You and your walks. Okay. What, what happened? Oh, I know what you're going to say.

Vonda 0:53

I know this morning, every morning when I was out walking, I would see a turtle right there . Just like, make me smile. And I was so inspired. I came in and I wrote about it. I of course wrote a little bit about a turtle and signed what it kind of meant. And then I shared that story with you and the flower click team, because that's what we do. Right

Lori 1:18

right. And that's where the story takes a weird turn. I woke up. It was a Saturday morning. So I had every right to not look at my email. However I did, because again, this is what we do. I got up, I got my coffee and turned on my favorite channel animal planet. As you know, I watched a story. It's the San Diego zoo. It's the zoo story. It's a series. And that a lot of times they marathon them and it was all about a turtle named jaws. Anyway, the crazy part of the whole thing. I'll tell, talk about Jaws in a minute, but what's so strange is that after I watched it, my husband watched it with me. So he can say, we're not making this up. After we watched it. I happened to look through my phone cause I had 15 notifications from Vonda LaFever, whatever I clicked on just one of them. Cause, cause you were cheering like what , what is all of this? And I clicked on it. And it was the blog you had written about turtles after I had just watched this turtle, this show, I'm like, Whoa, that's so crazy that we both had turtle experiences. Right .

Vonda 2:43

It happens a lot though.

Lori 2:48

It happens a lot with you and I, and Ellie and I it's like weird, just weird stuff happens and I'll text her or something. And she'll say it doesn't surprise because I thought that two hours ago, like what, how does that happen anyway? So talk about your turtle story first because this is the theme to our podcast, right?

Vonda 3:12

Yes it is. We're going to do it about turtles and us.

Lori 3:16

Yeah. Because what we realized is our fascination with turtles, we totally identify with them because we have kind of been in this shell since March. Kind of scared to put our neck out there and look around not only us as flower clique, but flower shops that we talked to. Like they're scared of the unknowns , somewhat skeptical, fearful. So the one I watched mine is a beautiful story. But as we just realized about an hour ago, it doesn't end, well,

Vonda 3:53

let me first talk about the turtle. Okay. So what we know about the turtle, because then I think jaws, will be a good story to go in there. We know a turtle has a hard shell. Yes. It moves slowly. It's a bit apprehensive. It really doesn't trust people or other animals. Right. And it can snap at you sometimes.

Lori 4:23

Right. And let me just say all of the things you're saying right now, we're talking about an adult turtle, right? Yeah . We're not talking about baby turtles. That's what we're going to talk about in a little bit, but we're talking about the adult turtles. So because of all of these, as you can imagine, it would be very hard for a zookeeper or vet or anyone to notice if a turtle is sick or there's something going on because they keep to themselves. So what I watched , it was a San Diego zoo and it was a 60, some year old turtle named jaws. And they knew that he was having some heart issues. Now I have no idea how they figured that out because I'm not a vet, but I suspect the caregiver, the zookeeper noticed he was acting different. I don't know how you notice if it's turtle because I don't do a whole lot. Right. But what they said is he was staying in a corner. He wasn't coming out. He would never stick his head out. And he wasn't eating those typical things. The beautiful thing about the story is how they realize he was getting better. So I'm going to fast forward. They did some IV medication. No one knows how he pulled it out of his own head, which I think is very funny. But they said, that's a sign that he's getting better. Cause he was strong enough to do that. So then they started giving him his medicine through like lettuce and things. And that worked, the zookeeper said, I gotta see if he's truly getting better. So what he did, he kept the door, open the turtle door to go in and out. And he went out to the little habitat, his outdoor habitat. And he turned on the hose and he was saying, jaws, this particular turtle loves to be sprayed by the hose. Not all turtles do a lot of turtles hate it. They actually go inside when you turn on. But for jaws he does. So he had it on and it was just going and going and going and in about, I don't know, 10 minutes, turtle time. He starts walking out of the door. The zookeeper was like, if you've never seen a turtle run, that's him running. And he went , I mean, this is a big turtle. It's not like a little turtle that you see in PetSmart or something. You know, it's a big turtle and he's going and he gets right to the edge of where the hose is being sprayed. Like he has his thumb over the hose and it sprayed , you know how before we had sprinklers and things, as kids, you would do that to spray your friends . That's what he was doing. And at that point, Jaws, for the very first time stretched his neck all the way up to the sky and like froze . He just froze . And I actually thought the TV had frozen, but the water was still coming down and I swear to you Vonda. He was smiling. He was like so happy, and so the zookeeper was like, yup , jaws is , he's getting better. You know , because they have to stick their neck out. That's kind of a sign. Okay. He's healthy.

Vonda 7:30

He was healthy and you were crying at this point.

Lori 7:32

I was crying. I was sobbing because it was such a beautiful metaphor for what we, and when I say we again, I mean flower clique, but I also mean all of the people we love that are in this industry for what we're starting to do we've been huddled in this corner for a while not physically sick . Well sort of because our emotions can make us feel like we're sick, but we've been huddled in hiding. So fearful of, can I stick my neck out yet?

Vonda 8:05

Right. Like you're saying, that's the turtle we tucked in when the coronavirus hit. Right. And we felt safe in our own shell or our own space, our own corner. But then we peaked our head out for mother's day. Right. And we ran a little bit, but now it's like, Oh, we're back proceeding with caution because we don't know what's next.

Lori 8:25

Right. I think mother's day was the, we're not afraid to stick our neck out the whole week. Leading up to that though. We were still, Oh my gosh, can I do it? Can I do it? Am I going to fail? Right. Those are some things we're going to talk about today. But now what I'm seeing in talking with our members , weddings, the new normal of weddings. Now they were so scared because they would get in, cancel, cancel, cancel, or postpone so far. But a lot of people are going to all right , well what's the new way. What's the new way to do a wedding. And they're sticking their neck out a little bit more to find out what this is. They can sort of feel that water coming down a little bit.

Vonda 9:06

And they're trying other things too , besides the wedding, it's like, Oh, well, you know what? The drive by birthdays or anniversaries that's happening. And I'm selling flowers for this, or I'm selling balloons or I'm selling, you know, enhancements to make that happen. So we're sticking our neck out for other exciting things. So what's like, Hmm , this is going to work.

Lori 9:26

Right, right. Doing our little summer series of show and tell, you know, I'm having so much fun doing that because I'm talking with all of our members and I'm talking through some stuff they do and sometimes they don't even realize they have something to share until I had that conversation with them . Right. In two weeks, one of the women I'm going to talk to, she not only is doing the backyard weddings. She starts sending me pictures. She's doing drive by baby showers. That she has a connection with the country club there and they are letting her set up. Literally, on like the covered part of the outside for the mom, they like make almost like a little thrown type thing. They do flowers and people can drive by.

Vonda 10:10

Wow. That's a great idea, absolutely. So creative. Yeah. Well, I was reading a blog from this Ian Brooks. Who's an author and he had four lessons that we can learn from a turtle and the fable about the tortoise and the hare, you know, how slow and steady wins the race. And the hare is like jumping around, trying to do this into that, which sometimes I feel like I'm like the hare, but there's reasons for both. We have to have both, but the winner is the turtle. So I'm going to start with lesson number one. Okay. Sometimes we take too long to make decisions. I think that's true. Especially right now. I think right now, we're not sure how to react. And I think Ryan from Strider actually talked about that just a few weeks ago on our podcast. When he said, if you sit there and do nothing, you're going to find that somebody else started six months ago trying to promote their business. And you're just waiting to see what happens. So we can't take too long to make these decisions to move forward and what we're going to do, make a decision. Okay, let's try this. Let's try that. Like you're saying, you know, people, baby showers, I mean, who would've thought of that.

Lori 11:26

Right. And to go along with that, I think goes to, I think it's your number two, the fear of failure. We've got to set that aside. If you got on Google and researched CEOs who failed or you know, famous people that failed, you would see story after story, after story of famous person that has bazillion dollars, but they have failed along way. Right. And that's okay because they learned from it and they kept sticking their neck out. They came back around and said, okay, here's what I want to do differently this time. So especially right now, going back to our friend, that's doing these drive by weddings. You talk about being resourceful and sticking her neck out because she didn't want a full on cancel. She was like, no, I need this for my business. But also this new mama , she deserves a baby shower. Like how can we figure this out?

Vonda 12:26

Right. And that determination and focus comes from failure because then we redirect and we're determined to do something that worked in that scenario.

Lori 12:36

Right? I mean, we've done that in flower clique. You know, when we first started having conversations about the company, we had a lot of different ideas and we actually through getting all of our members and talking with them, we've realized, okay, some of these, maybe not such great ideas, let's focus on this. And that's how we arrived at where we are today. I think that's pretty amazing.

Vonda 13:01

And I think that's, what's happening is these flower shops, all of our cliquers out here, they have ideas. And they're like, I'm listening to my customer. And it's like, I should try this because they're thinking this is a good idea. And that sparks another idea and it just kind of moves forward.

Lori 13:16

Right. Right. Think about how many times we've been in brainstorming meetings like you , Ellie and I, and whatever the subject is. And I will throw something out and you both are like, no, and you'll say, but you know what you did say that made me think of this and then Ellie will go. Yeah. But that's, it's it's okay . It's, it's that fear of being adults, right? It's that adult turtle that makes us skeptical and leery because we don't want to be wrong.

Vonda 13:51

And then we bring it to Kami and then she'll go, well that's okay. But maybe we should do it like here. And it takes another level. And then the neck goes out a little further.

Lori 14:04

I think one of the things that flower shop owners though, maybe have a little fear in doing that is because many of them might not have a sounding board. Right. They may not have a Ellie and Kami and Vonda, a safe group. I think that's why so many of our members call me or call you or call Kami, you know? And we brainstorming together. But if I owned my own flower shop, you would hope that you would at least have a manager. Yes. Some things buy , right?

Vonda 14:32

Because sometimes, unfortunately I see people putting ideas out on Facebook and then somebody slams them . Stop being negative.

Lori 14:44

I know. And I just want to be that person to go around, Like, no, you try good shot. Good try. You're on the right track. Keep trying, keep trying, And that's how you learn.

Vonda 14:57

And that kind of goes into lesson, number three, Lori competition. Isn't always between you and someone else. Sometimes the competition is between us, it's us and the devil on our shoulder. You know, what's our worst case scenario. And we , we don't even try anything.

Lori 15:15

I always think that saying sometimes you are your own worst enemy.

Vonda 15:20

Yes. That's what this is.

Lori 15:21

I do believe, especially during all of the quarantine time, when we have way too much time by ourselves to think and overthink and overthink things, you have to be careful that we don't go to that whole art of comparison because you're never going to win. You're never going to be good enough. You're never going to have enough money. You're never going to be a better designer. You've got to stay in your lane, stay focused, do what's healthy and right for you because every single shop is different. So what's our number four.

Vonda 16:00

Before we move on to number four, the other part of the competition is not always between you and someone else. You know, it's the negative. But also sometimes we think we know everything and we don't need to learn more or can't learn from people around us.

Lori 16:15

Ah, wow.

Vonda 16:17

So again, we're our own worst enemy. Not because of the negative fighting against us, but it's like, you know what? I'm just going to go in after this whole COVID-19 thing and I'm going to do things the way I've always done it because I know what I'm doing. And things are not the same. We have to be open. And like you said earlier, we have to listen to those around us.

Lori 16:40

You know, again, thanks to animal planet. I thought these two vets, they were debunking dog myths. And one of the myths was you can't teach an old dog new tricks, right? I mean, people say it all the time. They said it is for sure a myth. How ever there have been many studies, I can't cite the studies right now because it didn't really hit me, studies that have tracked teaching like six months to a year old dogs and then ages seven and up dogs, adult dogs, old dogs can be trained, but it literally takes twice as long. Wow. And now think about that with us humans. It's because we're set in our ways. We are set in our ways, every single one of us. So not only do we have to be trained in something new, we have to completely unlearn the way we thought it should be. Whereas in a new business owner or a puppy or whatever, they're like open to anything. I'll do anything. Show me, show me, what do you want me to do?

Vonda 17:55

Can I go back to a turtle story?

Lori 17:57

Oh, of course, of course. I'm sorry. I brought dogs into our.

Vonda 18:02

No, no , no . Who just said that is a youthful turtle. It reminds me of when I went to a turtle release, I sent you that little thing . I had never seen this before. And when I was , um , actually I was on vacation and I was down in Cabo and they were doing a turtle release. So the little sea turtles were going and in this little container it was 200 and some turtles and they were just all about the size of a 50 cent piece. And they were just like going crazy, you know, just moving all around. And then they're going out into this vast sea, which they don't know that the chance of their survival is like really small. You know? So it's the same kind of thing. Nobody told them to be fearful. They don't know anything. Oh. But there's something about that. Like you're saying the young dog, he's like willing to try anything and like little turtle. He's willing to do anything and here we are going. Okay. Yeah . It's been hard for us.

Lori 19:05

Yeah. It's because we have experiences that have shaped our way of thinking years ago, probably 10 years ago when I lived in Ohio and I was at church, I cannot remember what the whole big picture was of the sermon. But there was a video that they did at the beginning where they were interviewing people and they started with like a four year old and they went all the way up to like an 80 year old. They ask every one of them, the same questions they started with. Do you know, you're pretty? Or do you know your handsome, depending on, and the four year old was like, yes I do. Isn't my hair pretty. And you know, they would show and they were so cute. And they're like, what is your favorite thing to do? And dance. I loved to dance . Can you show me? Yes. So these were kind of the themes of the questions as each person got older. Wow. The change of even like a 13 year old, do you know? You're pretty? No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I got braces and they start like covering their mouth. If they have, they have acne, you notice they put their hand up. I mean, heartbreaking. And what's your favorite thing to do? Oh, I don't know. I guess talk to my friends. Well, aren't you weren't you a cheerleader or weren't yet? Would you want to show me something? No. No. Just like, and , and all the way through adulthood, it just gets worse. However, they interviewed an 80 year old woman, they said, do you know you're pretty? And she said, of course, I just had my hair done. And you know, it was reminded me of my mom's hair, how she would go to the beauty shop and have the curlers in . And they asked her what her favorite things to do was, and she said, Oh, I used to love to sing. I used to just be in the choir. And they said, could you sing a little for us? And she did. Oh. And it brought it back around. Wow. It gets me so emotional because I'm like, isn't that it was just so human, that middle ground between childhood and 80 year old person, that's been through life and realizes, you know what? I want to have the life like a child. I want to enjoy these things. I've been there. I'm tired of competing against myself. And right now the majority of us are in that middle ground. If we can go back to what happened in our life, even as a business owner that made me doubt myself, that I'm a pretty, or I can dance or I can sing, or I can put on an amazing wedding, or even as simple as doing a Facebook live for your business. I cannot tell you how many people are scared to be on camera.

Vonda 22:05

and you've encouraged them to do it. And they've donie it it's so exciting.

Lori 22:10

I'm like, listen, this is about your business. It is not, it's not about you, honestly, that should free you up. And the people that are going to make it about you, that those aren't your customers anyway.

Vonda 22:21

I'm going back to lesson number four because you've really hit on it. And that is slow and steady. Really does win the race. When you were just telling me about the 80 year old experience may not bring speed, but it does bring a greater ability to reflect and put into perspective what's happening around you.

Lori 22:46

You just gave me goosebumps.

Vonda 22:48

That's because, you know, we get to a point where we've got to be slow and steady, but we also have to have that ability to , to reflect and put into perspective, which is what's happening around us, which we know what's happening around us, which goes back to it's okay to make a mistake and move forward. I mean, so I love these because they all one plays on the other and it circles back around and starts again.

Lori 23:13

I agree. You know what? We should do post these four little bullet points in our podcast group. So if people are driving in the car right now and they're listening and they're like, wait, I can't write these down. I want people to get out a post it note and write these down, put them on your POS system on your phone because it should empower you. The whole goal of it is to free you up to be able to, you know what, I'm going to try if I make that's okay.

Vonda 23:47

So get yourself a picture of a turtle and the four and our four . Yes , that will be good.

Lori 23:53

I wish I would have taken a screenshot of jaws when his neck was completely extended and the water was coming down on him. The sun was behind him. That screenshot also, you know, it was so cool that the camera panned over to his zookeeper. I swear he was crying. He's been around him so long. He could understand he's getting better. However we know he had since passed away.

Vonda 24:20

but he had that joy at the end.

Lori 24:24

That's what gives me hope. And I want to find that picture because I want everyone to have that picture in their mind of, Hey, I can stick my neck out and risk it.

Vonda 24:34

I love that.

Lori 24:36

Okay. That's good stuff. A lot of turtle talk today.

Vonda 24:40

A lot of great lessons in a turtle.

Lori 24:42

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Vonda, this question, that one I always ask. I don't know why, but for me, sometimes it's getting harder for me to answer. Sometimes it takes me a minute to think of what is giving me life right now. So I'm going to start with you and what is giving you life right now?

Vonda 25:00

What was giving me life this morning is actually I have an essential oil on my desk. It's called focus oil. And this morning, when we were doing this podcast on turtles, I kind of needed to focus cause we are so many things we could talk about. So I had to use my focus oil and bring it all in and go, okay, we're going to be able to do this. We're going to focus on the turtle and the meetings and not get off on the rabbit trail because the hare wanted to jump in the ball around.

Lori 25:32

Look at you, bringing back in the hare. Wow. No, that's good. And you know what? That reminds me. I'm out of my focus oil .

Vonda 25:41

So Lori , what is giving you life right now?

Lori 25:45

What is giving me life is kind of funny. So one of my friends from high school who I have known over 30 years, we are in a high school girls group text, and it was crazy. There's probably 10 of us and we still talk like we were 15 years old, anyway. It's one of their birthday weeks. And she lives in the state of Washington. I do not I'm in Texas, but she has set up a zoom yoga class that she wants all of us to attend. So we will be live together on zoom doing yoga. She has an instructor doing it, but that is like what she wants for her birthday. And I'm kind of excited. I think it'll be fun. I'm sure I won't get through the class without laughing. I'm sure there's some people in there that I know aren't really into it. Anyway, it's just going to be fun. It's not going to be super mind, body and soul, but it will be filled with a lot of laughter.

Vonda 26:42

It will, that'll be good. That'll be very good for your abs with all the laughter. So that's great. So we're just going to leave them with challenging them to stick the neck out and keep moving forward.

Lori 26:57

Love it. We have certainly enjoyed our time together today and we look forward to being with you guys again, if you have any questions, concerns, comments, anything we would love to hear from you. You can always email Lori@flowerclique.com. Also, if you enjoy our little podcast, go ahead and click that subscribe button. That's very helpful for us and you can even leave a review and we hope you join us next week.

Vonda 27:24

Yes. So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.

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