Life's Realities: Eleven Things We All Need To Realize

Episode 032: Lori and Vonda discuss 11 of life's important realities and how they relate to business, as well as life. With Lori's newfound perspective, post Covid, she shares how some of these have recently changed. Some of these might surprise you!

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Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist

Transcript

Lori 0:00

We're going to talk about 11 things that we all need to realize about ourselves, really.

Vonda 0:17

Welcome to the business and pleasure of flowers. We're your hosts , Vonda LaFever.

Lori 0:22

and Lori Wilson . And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us Vonda.

Vonda 0:39

Welcome back, Lori . It's so good to have you here with me today. I've missed you.

Lori 0:45

Yes. I'm very happy to be back among the people. Maybe I'm feeling better every day it's has taken a while , but part of what we're going to be talking about today, Vonda is something that I found while I was in my bed resting, you know, and I just had my phone and my iPad and was looking through, and I just want to talk about realizations, things that we really need to realize nowadays, or just truths about life reading through this. I did a lot of, I don't know self-talk through the process, but I also was thinking about so many people I know in the floral industry that are going through this quarantine time. And these are things I hope they will remember about themselves and believe in themselves.

Vonda 1:36

If you missed the episode that we talked about, Lori actually had the coronavirus. So she was down and out for a couple of weeks.

Lori 1:45

Yes, I was diagnosed July 9th is when I got my test results positive. And July 5th is when my symptoms started and it's been, it's been a month, you know, that I've been battling and you know, I'm in my early fifties and I don't have any prior health conditions , uh , that would cause me to be susceptible. So I'm very fortunate. I got to recover at home. So anyway, I have been very appreciative when we talked about it last week, I got a lot of emails from not only flower clique members that didn't know, but people I knew in the industry that reached out and I thought that was so nice. So I appreciate everyone's little note of encouragement. So with that, we're going to talk about 11 things that we all need to realize about ourselves. Really.

Vonda 2:43

I would guess we've all heard these before and sometimes we just kind of need to go over them to remind ourselves, Oh yeah, that is important. Oh, that's not really that important, but it's like, we need to realize those.

Lori 2:55

Yeah. I think I've probably talked about all of these at some time or another in my life, but reading them now, post covid for me, it's like, wow, there's a lot of realness behind some of these. So let's go to number one, which is very true. You're living on borrowed time. Which I had grandparents that always said that, Oh, you're living on borrowed time, living on borrowed time.

Vonda 3:25

no, I didn't. I have a friend who always says at someone's birthday, they go happy birthday. You'll never be younger than you are today.

Lori 3:36

I'm like, that's not very nice. Exactly. That's funny. But it's true. Like trying to think the point behind that, not that we need to be fearful, but to know every day's a gift, right. You just absolutely don't know. I mean, July 4th, I spend a day in my backyard with my family. We grilled out. We had cocktails. We had such a great day and July 5th, I felt like I got hit by a truck. Like how did that happen? It's crazy. You just never know. And that kind of segues into number two.

Vonda 4:10

Yes it does. Yes.

Lori 4:12

Take your health seriously. Both your physical health and your mental health. I will tell you, and you know this Vonda, because you've seen my tears through all of this. It takes a toll, any illness, whether it's a chronic illness or a virus, like what I've been going through, it takes its toll. Not only physically, but mentally it's been kind of scary, like with the breathing, the physical issues, trying to breathe through all of this. Now, any time I can't catch my breath or even like slightly, I think I make it worse because I panicked .

Vonda 4:49

Right. Right. You know? Yeah. So taking your health serious is so important. A book I read a long time ago and I actually ordered it to read it again is called the rhythm of life by Matthew Kelly. And he talks about how important the balance in your health, the physical, the emotional, the intellectual, and the spiritual, finding the balance. Every single part of that is important for your health.

Lori 5:17

Yeah. I thought a lot about people that do have chronic illnesses or you have friends that have gone through major heart surgery. And usually they let them know, listen, it's very normal to go into depression afterwards. I know my father in law had that and they told them, and I remember thinking, well, why if , why would you get depressed? Because now you have a new heart and I didn't have a heart surgery, but I get it now. Like it's this helplessness because you want to get out and run around. And you know, I'm pretty high energy. And when something like this takes over your body and you can't do you love and to start getting really sad.

Vonda 6:02

Well, and we did it. I have some flower shop owners who tested positive. And could you imagine, I mean, I'm not sure what the degree that their illness was, but now you have the pressure, not only of your health, not being good, but Oh my gosh. Now, what am I going to do about my business? I have somebody who can come in and do that. So the anxiety does set in. So number two, take your health seriously.

Lori 6:27

Yeah, exactly. Number three. I actually thought of Ellie when I read this one and my son who is around that same age. So collect experiences, not possessions. I do believe this in a lot of ways is a generational thing. My husband and I, yes, we took our kids on vacation stuff, but we were so taught, especially him to save your money. You invest this, you do this, you do this, you work really hard, but we didn't allow ourselves the freedom to, well, let's just try this . I think regret is a harsh word, but I wish we would have done that more.

Vonda 7:08

The younger generation does do that. They're just like, Hey, instead of buying something, let's buy something for ourselves, which will be the experience.

Lori 7:18

And then there's a balance because like my oldest son is like, Oh, I went skydiving with three of my best friends and we rented the plane and I'm sitting there thinking you need a couch. Like you don't even own a couch. You know, he's happy. And he will never forget it for me. As a kid, my dad was a principal. My mom was a teacher. We didn't have all the money in the world, but we had all summer and my parents would load up that Volkswagen bus. And we would either go East or West. I mean, we went all the way out to California or we would go all the way up to New York because we had relatives up in Pennsylvania. And I just cherish those memories. You know, now part of it was as educators in a small town, they wanted to get out of town. They didn't want to see parents. So every time they go to the grocery store or go to the gas station. So I was raised with lots of experiences, but not, but not a lot of possessions.

Vonda 8:21

Yeah. I was going through pictures the last fewnights and some of the experiences, which I think many of our cliquers can relate to, were open houses at the flower shop. There were pictures of, Oh my gosh, look that display. Oh, look at these people who were there. I've always had tuxedos. Ellie , Joe was all dressed up, you know, with Santa. So those experiences, even though there were work, experiences were pretty cool. They weren't possessions. Right.

Lori 8:50

I love that. Cool. You know, we have one of our members, here's what they have done. They have an RV and they have it at a camp site. That's, it's pretty much there the whole time. And they go there all the time because they want that experience. Yeah . I just think those kids are going to become adults and have such great memories, not only the family business, but of being able to go camping , you know, and do all those. So I think they do a really good job.

Vonda 9:23

So let's go onto the next one. Cause I think it works right into that, hard work, trumps talent. As Thomas Edison said, there is no substitute for hard work. Lori. I was taught this as a young child. I would get up. And my dad was out of the house before we were even thinking about getting up. It was three or four o'clock in the morning. He owned his own business. He went to work, he worked hard and he would come home for dinner. And we would see him for dinner because it was really important that we all ate dinner together and he never complained about working hard. The only thing we had to do is, you know, it was before the remotes, we had to get up and change the channels for him at the TV. He was so tired.

Lori 10:09

That was a chore in my home also. Yes , yes. I love that . And I think this is true. I think if you ask a lot of flower shop owners who have had to hire new designers, for the most part, their designers are wonderful, but they do get those few that as talented, they might be, they're not team players. They're not hard workers. They believe they're above every, I'm not just designers. I'm talking about any employee. It reminds me of sports, right? Like when my kids were younger, my husband was always a coach. He was basketball coach. He did girls basketball. Cause my daughter. And when they would have their tryouts for their teams, they would know reputation. Even of these younger middle school kids. Yes. This one's really good, but she's uncoachable. I always think about that and how important it is to teach our kids at a very young age. You might see a kid that has natural talent, but he's completely uncoachable. Hmm . You gotta have a balance there. And so I think hard work means they're willing to put in the time, you know, willing to do the work, whether it's in sports or design or construction, you know, whatever you want to do. Okay. Where are we now? Number five, number five. This is something that I tried really hard to instill in my kids is believe in yourself, believe in yourself. You know, I was on the phone yesterday with a woman. She had attended your workshop, our flower clique workshop. She reached out to me to ask some stuff about flower clique. So I just called her and I was like, how can I help you? What is it you're looking for? And she just started talking. I felt like I was maybe being a therapist at the time, but I realized she's got so much self doubt. What happened to make her start doubting herself? You know, something happened. Cause that's usually not our starting point. Cause as kids we believe in ourselves, we think we can do everything. But at what point do we stop that?

Vonda 12:20

I think sometimes it's because of experiences of it happened in our business. Things in our business will make us question, O oh, am I doing this right? Somebody else i s doing it better. Maybe I need help. So I think that could be a lot of it. I mean, it really can be a lot when you're doubting because your business isn't going the way you've pictured it.

Lori 12:40

It's Henry Ford. He says, whether you think you can or you can't you're right. So true. You know , if we'd say we can't, we won't, if we can . You're right. So, but that's hard. That's hard for us as entrepreneurs. It's hard for us as parents. It's hard for us adults. Um, it's hard to constantly believe in ourselves.

Vonda 13:07

You just can never give up.

Lori 13:08

Yeah. That's true.

Vonda 13:09

Next one. Never stop learning. Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow. Love that.

Lori 13:18

Yeah, me too. And especially this time of year it's August and I know back to school right now looks different in every state. A few weeks ago, I had a dream. I was getting my classroom ready because this time of year, you're usually in there getting your classroom ready. And you're so excited about who your students are going to be. I don't do that anymore, but I still have the dreams. I love that feeling from a teacher perspective, thinking what my students are gonna learn this year and I can get super excited. And I still feel that way about myself . Just going through your flower prep school. I learned so much. Now I will tell you, I don't think I'm going to quit my day job and go become a designer. Because to be honest, this is not my passion. Right? Love for learning makes me want to go through it. And I think that's where we can all get caught up with it going well, I don't want to become that. So why would I want to learn it? You don't have to be passionate about something to want to learn.

Vonda 14:25

Right? We're better. Well-rounded people when we learn more, right?

Lori 14:28

Exactly. One of the biggest mistakes that we make. And I know we've all been around people like this, that if you try to tell them something, they're like, Oh, I know, I know. I know.

Vonda 14:39

So frustrating.

Lori 14:41

So there's some character. I can't remember her name. She's on Saturday night, live every once in a while. She'll show up, like when they're doing the news and every time they ask her anything , she's like, I, I know, I know. And it's funny because we all know a person like that. That's the thing. No, we don't know everything maybe. And maybe we know somethings , but we can always learn other things. Alright . That's number six. Number seven. Of course. I'm passionate about this. Don't stop reading. You know, I love reading actually. I think I love collecting books more than I even love reading. Work always seems to get in the way you're like, Oh my gosh , I have got a problem. I'm in this little friends group of my friends from college and we all are book addicts. Ernest Hemingway says, there's no friend as loyal as a book. And I think that's true. I don't read a lot of fiction, but I am that person when I do read it, I get completely lost in the book. And then when it's over, I'm sad and I am actually angry with everybody else around me that they're not sad too , because of my problems . Because I feel like they should have known what's going on in this book. So my dad was a reader, his whole life. I mean, I never remember him not having library books. His dad who I think had an eighth grade education was a farmer then went in the army. But I never remember going to my grandma and grandpa's house to visit them that he didn't have a stack of books that were covered in that shimmer with library cards. And we would go and my dad would return them . And my dad would take my grandfather to the library. So I think it was instilled in me at a young age.

Vonda 16:37

Yeah. And that really is great. My children love to read now. I don't think I modeled that. Well, Lori . Yeah, because I was working right. But Ellie loves to read, Sayer reads I swear an hour or two every day. And he constantly has books on his list that he wants for Christmas. This is what I want. And Tyler, he reads on his phone. He doesn't like the book book and he's more the digital.

Lori 17:01

And see I'm the opposite. I got to have my book. I've got to have my book with me because I like to mark up a book or I like to go back and reread when I read it on my phone. It's just not for me. And it's probably my generation too . Maybe I'm just not used to it. I also love a quote and I don't know where this quote came from to be. So whoever said this they're listening. Let me know who it was. And next week I will give you props, make sure it was just a random quote. And it says read more. It allows you to borrow someone else's brain and will make you more interesting at a dinner party.

Vonda 17:44

I love it .

Lori 17:45

I love that. I believe it's true. I have had to go to a lot of dinner parties for my husband's work. And he is in the oil industry. And I have connected with people over books , men and women that are in his company that he doesn't even approach. But because we read the same book, I'm not sure can't believe well , he read the such and such book too . And so you just never know.

Vonda 18:09

I love number eight. And that is question everything. Curiosity has its own reason for existing Albert Einstein. And I just think that is so great. And I have to go back to my son, Sayer kindergarten and first grade had the same teacher, a looping teacher. Yes , yes. And every single time at conferences, she would say, Oh, I just love Sarah. But I wished he would just quit asking questions . He was so curious and he was one of those. And he still is. He continues to want to learn and grow and know more, and know more, but it was the same thing. His dad and I would just laugh and go. Yep . That's him curious, wants to know and learn and grow.

Lori 19:00

Now I will say there is a difference because when I taught school, I could quickly figure out the first nine weeks who, which kids are going to move on to do great things based on that. There's the kid that asks good questions. That kind of challenge me. But there's also the kid that is constantly raising his hand, asking questions and interrupting you. And you say, if you let me get through this, I bet you're going to have some of those questions answered. I think that means, especially in our world today, we can't just read one thing and expect that to be truth. Okay. Well it sounds like that is probably right, but I need to question that. Let me do some research and you know, so I think it's important because there are no dumb questions. Really? Except if you're trying to just annoy the teacher, which there is always that kid.

Vonda 19:59

Well, that, one's a really good point because if you look something up on the internet, you might not even have the right answer. Right. Because there's so many different sources. You have to be sure that it's a reliable source that you're going to. And even with our floral industry, we have to look at that and go, okay. Processing flowers. What is the newest thing? Okay. Let's look at , look at that. Now let's look at the date that came from and what makes sense, right? Always checking your source and the dates on things that we're finding out.

Lori 20:28

You're you're right. Um, all right . Number nine. I liked this one. This one has taken me a couple of decades to learn. I almost say perfect, but I have not perfected this yet.

Vonda 20:41

Nobody perfects this.

Lori 20:42

Be sure. Be sure of what, you know, what you believe, what you stand for. Be sure. I remember reading a Jen Hatmaker book. I can't remember which one it was, but there's a whole chapter on your yes. Be yes. Your no be no. She says if your yes is not like an emphatic hell yes, then it's okay to say no. It's okay. And you don't have to have an excuse. That's huge for a lot of, especially us women. I don't know why, but we feel, if we say no, we have to have a reason, you know, I can ask my husband stuff and he'll just , Nope, no , that's not good for me. I'm like, what ? Like how do I become that? That would be awesome.

Vonda 21:37

And I know, and I know I've said it before too Bill McKinley . I learned this when I worked with bill, bill said, if you can't say no, you've really never said yes.

Lori 21:49

Oh see, that just shoots me right in the heart because it's so true. Here's what , here's what I thought of when I was reading that when I have so much respect for flower shops, that when I ask them, do you do a lot of weddings? Let's say they're in, I don't know, Let's just say Philadelphia. Cause that is a Mecca of flower shops are so many and they'll go, you know what? No, we don't, we don't want to do them. They're not for us. I'm not saying flower shops shouldn't do weddings . I always have so much respect for them because they know they don't want their entire weekend, for whatever the reasons are. And they're okay with it.

Vonda 22:31

They've made that choice. They've made that choice .

Lori 22:36

We have flower shops. Like I hate weddings. And I'm like, well, why do you keep doing them? Well, I just feel like I have to . And you look at like the last three weddings they did. And maybe they made a couple hundred bucks after all was said and done, then I'm like, is it really worth it? So that's what I was thinking of those shops that are sure what they want to do, what they're good at. And then when they say no to something that opens up a whole nother side of a business that they do want.

Vonda 23:05

it's all about having c onfidence in what you can do and want to do. And like you said, be sure I like that.

Lori 23:12

Yeah. Yeah. All right . Number 10. A degree is not as important as it seems. I do like this quote from John Dewey, he says education is not preparation for life. Education is life itself. Yeah. That is so true. So absolutely true. And I'm a big believer that college isn't for everybody. I have three kids, two of them went to college. One of them tried it. And right now he's like, I don't know if it's for me. Our world needs to be more okay with that.

Vonda 23:47

My dad was a high school graduate and worked for somebody for a while . Then he started his own business and was a super successful businessman. And when he was ready to retire, he sold his business for over a million dollars. Lori, I didn't go to college.

Lori 24:02

Right? Yeah. And look at you. You own your own company.

Vonda 24:05

As long as you continue to learn and grow the degree, isn't important. Education is important. Education is the key, right . And continuing to learn and grow and know, I think is where you have to go.

Lori 24:21

I agree. What is it to be successful? You need to have a good idea. And the drive really that's really what those are. The two things. And that's probably what your dad had. That's what my father in law had. He owned a Texaco station. Remember the full service, Texaco station.

Vonda 24:37

Wash your windows, pump your gas, all of the goods .

Lori 24:41

Back in the day, they were open seven days a week. He didn't have a college degree either, but my husband will tell you to this day, it's hardest work . And man, he ever knew .

Vonda 24:50

And the smartest man, he knew my dad was the smartest man. I know because he continued to learn and grow.

Lori 24:58

part of that too, they didn't even realize what they were modeling. They didn't. No , no. You're exactly right. Beautiful thing. It's not like they thought, Oh, I have to role model this for my kids. They just did it. Good, hard, solid day's work. Okay. Last one, this one, some of my children will argue that this isn't true. It depends on what look , plan for your future. The old saying, you know, failing to plan is planning to fail. I think it's great to be in the present, but I'm not saying you need to plan out the next 20 years, but you need to have some sort of idea of what you want your future to look like. Does that make sense?

Vonda 25:44

Well, that's the five year, 10 year. 20 year goals, right? Yes. Yeah. So short and longterm goals. And so that's kind of planning when you have those goals, short term and longterm . That's your planning. For the future. Yeah, exactly.

Lori 25:59

The future. The word future. I think to me now it's so much closer than when I was young. The future is, and now I'm like, wait, you mean the next three years?

Vonda 26:14

I think our flower shops are having a difficult time with that right now as everyone it's like, what is the short term goal that I have? And then what is the future going to look like?

Lori 26:25

Yeah. You're exactly right. Again, having this conversation over and over, you know, do I even want a storefront rethinking what you thought your future was going to be? It's okay.

Vonda 26:37

Yes, exactly. Do we want to just read over those one more time? As we wrap things here today, Lori.

Lori 26:45

So, you're living on borrowed time, which I think is also a country and Western song. I'm not sure. I think there's a title there. Uh , take your health seriously. Collect experiences, not possessions, hard work, trumps talent, but it's best if you have a little bit of both, right? Believe in yourself, you need to be your biggest cheerleader. Absolutely never stop learning. Don't stop reading, question everything in a respectful way though. Not in an argumentative way. That's the other thing I was thinking. I do have people in my life. That question things just for the sake of argumenting and we don't need that. No , no. Then be sure. Let your yes. Be yes. Let your yes. Be hell yes. Let your no be no, thank you. A degree is not as important as it seems. I would say again, if you're going to go into an industry that you need a degree such as a lawyer or a doctor or an engineer. Yes, it is important, but that's not your way then it's not, the different type of vegetable .

Vonda 27:56

If you want to be a florist, just go to flower prep school.

Lori 27:59

Education, a degree is different than education. So , and then the last one plan for your future, what you thought your future was might look differently now and it's okay to erase and write something new.

Vonda 28:19

take a different path.

Lori 28:20

Yup . Yup . There you go. Okay. We got to end with, what's giving you life right now and I will start my inhaler, honest to God. This right here is helping me get through my day. I've never been on it and inhaler before, but this helps me. And I'm very, very grateful for doctors and scientists that developed this little thing here because it takes the tightening away for my chest.

Vonda 28:59

Well, I am just so excited. You're back. I'm just happy that you're on the mend and we're just going to take it easy and get you back. So that's, what's giving me life is that you're here.

Lori 29:11

It's fun to be back. Eventually I'll be back 100%, but now we're just taking it day by day and grateful for every single borrowed day we have. Right.

Vonda 29:24

That's absolutely. So we will see everyone next week.

Lori 29:27

Okay. We have certainly enjoyed our time together today and we look forward to being with, if you guys again, if you have any questions, concerns, comments, anything I would love to hear from you. You can always email lori. Also, if you enjoy our little podcast, go ahead and click that subscribe button. That's very helpful for us and you can even leave a review and we hope you join us next week. Yes. So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.