Decision Fatigue is Real, What You Need to Know.

Episode 033: Studies find that ordinary and usually sensible people are getting angry at families and colleagues, buying junk food at the grocery store when the never do that, or spurge on unusual retail items because of something called Decision Fatigue. Join Lori and Vonda as they share 4 ways to help make better business decisions.

Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist

Transcript

Lori 0:00

How do we go at making better decisions right now when we're all a little bit fatigued?

Vonda 0:18

Welcome to the business and pleasure of flowers. We're your hosts, Vonda LaFever.

Lori 0:22

and Lori Wilson . And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.

Vonda 0:36

Hey Lori , how are you doing today?

Lori 0:38

I'm good. I'm wondering why do you look all nice in a pretty lilac linen shirt with makeup and pretty hair. And I am a little unkempt. I didn't even look at myself until we got on here. I'm like, woo . Why are you all fancy pants?

Vonda 0:55

Well, we just finished filming our volume two of flower prep school. We were doing our videos.

Lori 1:03

Oh my gosh. And so you started that on Monday and you guys have been working on those. Vonda's laughing for those who can't see her . Is that a nervous laughter or an exhausted laughter?

Vonda 1:15

It was four partial days, Ellie's said, we were supposed to get done in one day. And usually I'm the one who says I can get this done in one day. And somebody says, no, you really can't.

Lori 1:27

Can I say something? And you and Ellie not be offended?

Vonda 1:30

Sure.

Lori 1:31

So I saw your calendars and I saw that you had allotted a couple hours the day prior, and then a day of shooting. And I thought to myself when pigs fly, because I've been there and the best laid plans, right? It's hard. It's really hard to make a good video. And you're not even talking about a long, like hour long videos.

Vonda 1:58

and that we weren't even talking in a lot of the videos. I was just designing and then we're going to do voiceovers, but there was a lot of designs that we accomplished . It's going to be good. It is good . It's going to be great. It's going to be good.

Lori 2:12

I'll never forget. When I finally realized that I needed glasses in my mid forties, you know what I'm going to say. We were at your house and we were shooting videos and you would hold up like the, just like on Saturday night, live, how they have the cue cards and I'm over there and I'm squinting. And that was a realization. But I'm excited to see volume two . Now that they go to editing. Yes they do. And while you were doing that, I was talking to our flower clinic members and Kammie and I were planning and doing things. But I was also looking for things to talk about in our podcasts. That seemed to be relevant. Yes. I came up with this one and you said, okay, in honor of my post COVID I got through COVID and I feel much better and I'm doing great, but I will tell you one of the main symptoms that is still lingering. And I Googled it. So I know I'm not alone. Is this like brain fog? It's the strangest thing. You know, I've been reading a lot about it, cause I wanted to make sure, okay, this, this is going to go away.

Vonda 3:22

This is normal.

Lori 3:23

This is normal. Honestly kind of thought, did I have a stroke? But the good news is I don't think I have. So in honor of what we're calling my COVID brain, I thought, it would be interesting to do a little research on decision fatigue, which it's a thing. And last week Ellie actually brought it up. I can't remember. She actually used those words. She might've said retail fatigue, online, shopping fatigue, basically, because it's, COVID started. What we used to think was kind of fun, right? Shopping online, or doing things and choosing now it's all we do when we need something and it's overwhelming.

Vonda 4:05

It is overwhelming. We have all done this. We go online and we start to look and we're comparing. And then after a while we're like, Oh my gosh, no . Yeah, maybe I'll come back to this. Yeah. Maybe I'll come back to this.

Lori 4:19

And so I was researching it and I came across an article, multiple articles. But this one talks about how decision fatigue is a real thing. And as a business owner of whatever kind of business for this, we're going to talk about a flower shop owner and how they make decisions and how maybe their customers make decisions. Now, how do we go at making better decisions right now when we're all a little bit fatigued.

Vonda 4:48

So we have four things. I think this will be very informational. And if anything, somebody will listen and go, Oh my gosh. I feel that way too. Yeah, I think so. I think everyone at this point we don't have your foggy brain. No , but you do have fatigue. I think decision fatigue. So let's go through these.

Lori 5:08

All right . You start with the first one.

Vonda 5:10

The first one is let go of perfect and aimed for good enough. And that's hard because I like to have things perfect.

Lori 5:21

Yes you do.

Vonda 5:22

And so that's a little bit tough for me, but I have to go back to, we have to let that happen sometimes because there is wisdom in failure.

Lori 5:31

Yeah. I also want to be clear. This does not mean that you settle for, if somebody ordered something and you're designing it and you're like, eh, it's okay. No we're saying let's pretend you have an order. And what is it you are out of last week when you were doing the webinar is some sort of green. You didn't get it. So you had to accommodate and use something else. The only word I know is variegated. Pittosporum that one down. That's really good. Yeah. That's the one I learned.

Vonda 6:06

All I know is that when we're doing the bouquet videos, just this week that we've been out of a lot of products , some of it has not been in the bouquets because of the timing. So what we've had to do is suitable substitutes, right? It's not that I go and it's not good. I mean, it doesn't have to be perfect. No, I use which many designers do a suitable substitute and we have to let go that everything is not just like the picture. As long as it looks close enough for our customers to be able to go, yeah, that looks pretty much like what I ordered.

Lori 6:41

Right. Right. And you have to be okay with that internally as your stuff , you can't beat yourself up. If you send something out that isn't exactly like it was. What I got from this was more from just a personal standpoint or be in a mom's standpoint of in the morning, I made a list of all of the groceries I need to go get. And in the morning time I'm pretty clear headed and I'm going to be super healthy. And we're only having salad and fish and hummus like organic hummus, you know, all the good stuff. And by the end of the day, after I've made dinner and then go to the grocery store like last night, I'll be honest. I did a quick trader Joe's run for bananas and a few other things. And I came back with two boxes of mini ice cream cones and a half gallon their cookie butter ice cream. I'm not going to beat myself up. It wasn't perfect. Yes. I will admit I failed, but it's okay. You'll live and learn. And maybe I'll just make my kids eat all of it. So I don't.

Vonda 7:43

And we can benefit if we don't take as much time to make that decision. Sometimes take a look at it. Okay. It doesn't have to be perfect. So let's look at A look at B. What makes more sense for me and not spend a whole lot of time making that decision, but we'll go on because the next one.

Lori 7:58

before we go to the next one, Vonda, I should have started this because I'm assuming everyone knows what decision fatigue is. The definition in this particular article says, decision fatigue happens when we spend too much time mulling over options, which is exactly what you said a little bit ago. And according to the experts, it prevents us from making smart choices in many contexts. The example, not only did I buy one box of mini ice cream cones, I bought the chocolate and the vanilla and half gallon of ice cream. Why? Because I mulled over the ice cream freezer section too long and I was tired and exhausted. Yep. And COVID brain. So that's my excuse.

Vonda 8:49

Okay. Well good. That really did help. The next one is combine intuition with expertise. I think that is so good.

Lori 9:00

I loved this one and I absolutely thought of you with this because you and I both, I mean, we've taken a lot of those personality tests and things, and we both are fairly intuitive humans on the planet. However, when it comes to this industry, your way more intuitive than I am, because you've been in it much longer. I think that's important for people to know, because for me, I need to cut myself a little Slack.

Vonda 9:32

right. If I would go to you Lori and say, I need some decisions made on sales or on teaching or on education, your gut kicks in on those where my expertise and my intuition is with the business of a flower shop.

Lori 9:51

Right. I know when we've done photo shoots. I think of when we just did the last one, you guys are the arrangements. I moved it over. Ellie took the picture and I'm like, looks good. And you were like, Nope. And you went over there. What is wrong with it? She's so picky. But when the photo was taken and I looked behind him like, Oh, you knew just because of experience and gut, what will sell what probably wouldn't.

Vonda 10:18

Experience and gut intuition, and also continuing to learn. Right. It's everything to help make those decisions. For sure.

Lori 10:27

So I think it's good. I think we need to put more trust in our gut. I think we can get caught up on, is it my gut or is it just emotion? So make sure you don't confuse the two. And I think we all probably have it's that inner voice think of that inner voice that's like, is this what you think it should be?

Vonda 10:47

Right. And I love the sentence you have down here. That is not about a flower shop, but it says intuition with my third child is much stronger than with my first.

Lori 10:57

Exactly. Gosh, it's funny because you know, my kids are all adults now, but I can remember my youngest child who's significantly younger than my other two. He would get in trouble for something. I can't remember. Cause I've blocked it all out of my mind, but I can remember him asking his older siblings. How does mom know? And my oldest child were like, mama just knows. She knows everything. We don't know how she finds stuff out. She just knows like half the time is it's my gut. I know you're up to no good. I mean, most of us are like that. Right. As moms, but it's true . It's very true. I was much better at catching the last one than I was the first one.

Vonda 11:43

But using that expertise that you already have, that you've built up for years, your line, whether you're a new flower shop owner and you don't have that yet, that's why you need to really have somebody else help make some of those decisions.

Lori 11:58

You know, where I see it a lot in this industry is in hiring employees, again, going through what we're all going through right now. There's been a revolving door in some shops of employees leaving because they don't feel good working right now or whatever reason. So that hiring process, it's interesting for me to talk to shop owners that have been in it for a long haul. A lot of things they're looking for in an employee is very different than somebody that's only two or three years in. And they hired somebody and they're , they're disappointed that they didn't last. And I'm like, Oh, you should have talked to so and so who's been in it for 37 years. They know within 10 minutes, if this employee is going to last . So it's intuition, it's a vibe. It's energy. It's just experience.

Vonda 12:53

Yes, really. It is the next one. You have a great story on .

Lori 12:58

Yes. So I love this one, create pros and cons list. Don't just pro and con it in your head. Physically, write down whatever the issue is. Write down the pros and the cons of the decision you're going to make. My family, I have been married for, I think 29 years. And my husband loves a whiteboard. Like loves it. We have every source of technology you could imagine we have TV in every room and we have it all, but he still loves any chance to pull out a whiteboard and draw either a graph or some sort of thing with pros and cons. So my family has always done this. It could be about finances like kids allowance, pull out the white board . What , where are we going to vacation? Pull out the white board . And most recently we would do it for every child about college. And it's funny because my oldest child was off in college when we got transferred here, which was five years ago. And we had moved on to a new white board . I found the old whiteboard from Ohio up in the attic. It still had his college pros and cons on it. And he had already graduated college. I'm like, well, I guess we made the right decision. But I love that because sometimes when you're writing it out, you know, me, I've always been a note taker. Anyway, I love a pen and a spiral notebook. It helps you be more thoughtful about the process.

Vonda 14:31

And we have that with flower shops just recently. One that I can think of somebody was talking about moving locations. So we did the pros and cons. It's like, okay, so what is your rent here? What is it there? How much square footage here? How much there do you need that extra square footage? And what is that going to bring you? How about cooler space? How about delivery area? And so the pros and cons of both and really having to do a deep dive into each one of those things and how it would affect your business going forward.

Lori 15:01

Right? And I like the fact that you said a deep dive, because when you do that, you do have to pull back up that value system and your moral code when you're making these choices too, you know, we had a whole podcast on that eons ago now, but that's where all of that comes into play. And a lot of times it's not that you are trying to make a decision. That's going to be life or death, like a negative outcome. Maybe you have two great choices. That's sometimes it makes it even harder.

Vonda 15:33

Makes it more difficult. Yeah. I agree. I agree.

Lori 15:36

I think everybody needs a whiteboard or a chalkboard or heck a big chief tablet and some crayons that would work too.

Vonda 15:43

That would be just fine. Yep . That would work. So the last one is negative visualization, which we talk about all the time, right? What is that worst case scenario? Ask yourself what went wrong. Even before it begins.

Lori 16:01

There was an article in the Harvard business review and they talked about this when you're even getting ready to start a project or you even start, what's the worst thing that can happen. And you kind of work back from there. Now I will tell you, I've learned that because you know, I get anxiety, not diagnosed with anxiety, but I can get myself worked up.

Vonda 16:27

Yes, you can .

Lori 16:28

I can get myself worried about everything in the world. If I'm not careful, I can't remember what the exact thing was this week. But even my husband, he just sat down with me. And matter of fact, he said, what's the worst possible outcome. If this fear you have, what is the worst thing that could happen? And once I said, what I considered was the worst thing that could happen out loud. It wasn't so scary. And he looked at me and he goes, we can live through that. Wow. And it kind of gives you the power back.

Vonda 17:00

Yes. Oh yeah. I bet.

Lori 17:02

And you're like, okay, now I'm okay . Start ripping out the cabinets and remodeling the kitchen because the worst case, I mess it all up and I have to call a contractor and it is going to cost me a lot, but it'll eventually get fixed. Okay. I can handle that.

Vonda 17:17

Yeah. And the negative visualization technique helps us overcome decision paralysis, which I think is so true. We'd like to just put it off and we're paralyzed. It's like, Oh right . I can't , I can't just, like you said, I look at that worst case scenario and I say, well, I can live through that. That's okay. And it's fear, isn't it, Lori ?

Lori 17:38

Yeah, it is. I was talking to his shop this week and I've known her for many years. And her desire is to be able to retire probably five years, sell her business and on. But who knows if that happens for a while now has been wanting to kind of opt out of weddings, meaning like use your whole weekend. Right. She's always been very fearful and going through COVID caused her to have to face what she truly thought was a huge fear of hers. And that was to not have any weddings. And now this side of it, she's like, I kinda like it. I'm not making as much money there, but I'm enjoying my weekends. And so it's okay. Her biggest fear came true. And she realizing why was that such a big fear?

Vonda 18:26

Right? Right. She was lucky. She just got to try it on for size almost.

Lori 18:30

Yes. Yeah. Well, that's true. She didn't imagine it really happened in real time. The other thing is if she realized, no, I miss them . I love them . I want you go back.

Vonda 18:41

Right. It's almost like the negative visualization could almost go to a whiteboard situation cause they kind of wrapped together and then you go with your gut, then you're like, okay, well it doesn't have to be perfect to me, I kind of look at that I walk backwards and say, well , they are all intertwined.

Lori 18:58

Right? At the end of this particular article, I thought it was interesting that he taught it's about reframing your mindset too, Oh my gosh. I have to make the perfect decision. Reframe that and say to yourself, I want to put myself in the best position possible. Like which one of these that's going to set me up for success the best. So it's a bigger picture. Just the, Oh, I have to make that. Perfect. Does that make sense?

Vonda 19:31

That makes total sense. Yeah . That makes total sense.

Lori 19:34

Then the very last words on it are choose wisely. I'm like, well man, the anxiety comes back. When someone says that to me.

Vonda 19:41

what we want to do is we want to be in a perfect situation, but we can't be in a perfect situation. We need to look at the best situation. And like you said, choose wisely.

Lori 19:52

And what you said earlier, this guy Klein , the author, talks about projects are going to go awry. Things are going to go awry. You're gonna come up with a marketing idea that worked really well for another flower shop and you're going to fail at it. It's okay. Learn from it. Laugh a little bit. I talked to another shop this week, they've got some side businesses that have been completely halted, completely halted because they're all event based. I mean, we're talking then an additional $70,000 is not coming in and thats wow . So what she decided instead of crying, every time she was getting these emails from people canceling the events, these corporations, she downloaded loaded the song, another one bites, the dust I kid you not. So every time she gets this cancellation form, she'll be in the store and she'll just press it on iTunes and she'll play it. And everyone that works there they'll giggle because if you don't, you'll just cry. That's a pretty good idea. You know?

Vonda 21:02

So let's just go through our four takeaways. Okay? Okay. Let go of perfect and aim for good enough.

Lori 21:11

This is good enough. This will that'll do. This'll do. And then the next one is, don't be afraid to trust your gut, especially if you're experienced. If you're not then maybe seek counsel to somebody in the same industry and say, this is what my guts telling me. What do you think?

Vonda 21:30

then your white board story.

Lori 21:33

the pros and cons list real quick. I just want to tell you one of the legends out there are after Charles Darwin died, he was a big fan of the pros and cons lists . They found a pro and con list like among his stuff. And it was about whether he shouldn't marry his wife or not.

Vonda 21:57

And was it a pro or con?

Lori 21:59

And he did it . It was a success as far as. Okay. Well that's good to know pro and con list to help you visualize where your value and morals align, which one they aligned with maybe a little more.

Vonda 22:11

Okay. And then try that negative visualization. That worst case scenario.

Lori 22:17

All right . I think we got through it. I hope people are going to walk away with a little nugget of something to help them get through this.

Vonda 22:24

to help them get through decision fatigue, decision fatigue.

Lori 22:28

Amen. All right . What are you loving Vonda? What's given you life right now.

Vonda 22:33

What's giving me life right now is sitting outside my door. As I'm recording. This podcast is my family. I have my two little grandkids. They're not so little anymore late and helpers , I would imagine right now, great helpers and two grand dogs and my son and daughter in law and my daughter and her boyfriend. So that's, what's giving me life right now.

Lori 22:57

That is a good, a good life to have. And I know and adore every one of those people. So I can only imagine how much fun I, I wish I could teleport myself.

Vonda 23:07

I wish you were here too, because we would just have everybody laughing.

Lori 23:11

You're going to do it someday. Anti COVID. So what's giving me life right now is not nearly as great, but I ordered a new mouse pad that is 38 inches long and 18 inches wide. It's like the , almost the whole size of my desk and it's pink. I can use the whole desk with my mouse and it's fun.

Vonda 23:39

Oh, how fun?

Lori 23:40

I love it.

Vonda 23:41

That's good. Alright .

Lori 23:43

So all right . Have a good day. We have certainly enjoyed our time together today and we look forward to being with you guys again, if you have any questions, concerns, comments, anything we would love to hear from you. You can always email lori@flowerclique.com. Also, if you enjoy our little podcast, go ahead and click that subscribe button. That's very helpful for us and you can even leave a review and we hope you join us next week.

24:12

Yes. So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.

Speaker 1 25:22

[inaudible] .