Boss Alert! Five Questions You Should Ask Yourself

Episode 098: As a leader, or boss of your team, it's important to take time for self reflection. Lori and Vonda share five questions you should take time to ask yourself to make you a better leader. It's not easy, but necessary, especially if your employees are not performing and your team is not working at their full potential. There are some great take aways here!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

If a leader can't get a message across clearly and motivate others to act on it, then having that owner having a message doesn't even matter.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Welcome to the Business and Pleasure of Flowers. We're your hosts, Vonda LaFever and Lori Wilson.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Lori, it has been one of those weeks that we kind of turned around and said, oh my gosh, with everything else going on, we still have to record a podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

I know. And I woke up this morning super early, couldn't go back to sleep. I don't know why. And I got up and I went into the living room. And of course, my little dog follows me because he loves me. And I'm in there making coffee and just thinking, you know, today's gonna be a good day. And all of a sudden, I hear that noise that you hear out of your dog when you know they're gonna throw up. Oh no. Oh they're like, oh no. And I ran and got grabbed him because he was on the carpet and I tried to scoot him over, at least to be on the wood floor, anyway. Yeah, so that's happened twice this morning.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Oh gosh, what a way to start the day. And I know I'm like, still gonna be a beautiful day, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Beautiful day outside. And I was like, you know, well, I mean, that's his only symptom. It's not like he's it's just being a dog, anyway. That's how my day started. So it can only my point is it can only get better. Yes, right? That is true. That is true. Uh so yeah, it's been a whirlwind week. We opened enrollment for Sales Prep School and Flower Prep School, are both our curses this week. So it's been a little crazy talking to new people, new shops, and people I've talked to before. So it's been really fun, and it stays open throughout this week, I think. Right? I think it closes on the 12th. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

So anyway, and we had a workshop on Wednesday. We did a lot of people came and it was great because we had questions, it was just a great workshop.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Yeah, well, it was fun because number one, we were talking about employees and sales training and all of the good stuff, and a lot of shop owners had their employees listen in. So I always like that because you get new people, and um, I got a lot of emails from people, of course, asking for the recording and blah blah blah. So it's been a crazy week uh last week, but this week will probably be crazy too. Um they all have been, that's for sure. Right. So when we were kind of talking through, you know, what's going on in the industry right now, or what what are we want to talk about? We decided based on the feedback we've been getting. Well, let me back up. One of the the things about prep school course right now, I guess if you want to call it an incentive, everyone that buys it gets a bonus course called Boss's bonus, right? And it's a mini course. I don't want people to think it's it's as long as the other ones, um, but it's a mini course, but it's like step one in what we'd like to keep adding on to eventually.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

It's important because as you found out when people join either one of our prep schools, the biggest thing is that that has to have leadership to start, right? It starts at the top. You always say that it starts at the top, and so that's why it was really important to do the boss's bonus so that you could let them know that it's like, hey, right, you know, right, right.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

And so the module of boss's bonus that we we created, and Ellie and I filmed it, she does all the editing, she does all the hard stuff. I just doc. She makes it all look put together, but it's really about how to know each personality style of your employees because based not every detail, but how do you know what makes each one of them tick? Right. Um, and we talked about four different ways, and it was fun because I made our whole Flower Click staff go through it. Yes, you did. Right. I did, I did, my boss. But what I didn't do a deep dive in was things as a boss, as a business owner, things that you need to be looking at as far as am I leading well or managing well? And we're gonna use those words interchangeably, even though I know they're they're different. I'm just gonna assume every business owner or every person listening to this is a leader and a manager.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

And we all should be in one aspect or another, right? And maybe we're not the leader or owner or manager of our shop. As a shop employee, you're still a leader, and you we all need to take a look at what we're gonna talk about today and really do a self-assessment.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Right. So we compiled out of so many, we compiled five. We narrowed it down because we're a short podcast, um, five things really that bosses, business owners, whatever you are, need to be asking themselves when it comes to managing their team or leading their team. So one of uh the quotes that I put on here that I liked, and it was from a it was a military guy, and he says, one of the biggest problems in leadership during this information age that we are all in, our world of Google and internet. So one of the biggest problems in leadership is lack of reflection. Basically, what he's saying is it's one of the biggest problems is we don't ever ask ourselves quite the hard questions and ask it with humility and honesty. Um, in other words, he's talking about self-reflection. Do we self-reflect on those little things that happened during that wedding setup? Could I have maybe been responsible? Like, what went wrong? So we're going to walk through this because we you are in a position of leadership as far as managing an entire company. I am in a position of leadership. I think of all of our flower click members as like my people. Am I modeling? Am I leading well? You know, same type of thing. So even as a parent, we're leaders. Like, are we doing what we need to do to run a good business? So, so number one, our number one tip reflection, what you should be asking yourself is what can I be doing better? Or, and this is the hard part, how am I wrong? Could I be wrong? Right, right, I don't know a human on this planet that is excited or really open about wanting to be wrong, right?

SPEAKER_00 7:32

But we do know we're not always right, and what's interesting to me as you say that, Lori, is I think the older we get, the wiser we get, the more we realize, oh, you know, others have things that they can add that really would be better than what I'm doing now, or what I'm doing is not maybe the best thing to be doing. So it comes with age, I hate to say it. And I remember that as a child, right? As your parents were like, oh, you know, it's wisdom, you know, the older you get, the wiser you are. And now I'm like, Yep, probably that's true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Well, I think the word wisdom also could be interchanged with experience. Yeah. I mean, we just we've done it enough, we have failed enough, we have been at fault enough that we realize, yeah, I'm not perfect.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

That's exactly it. Because we have failed, we have been wrong, and then we realize, oh, we're not always right. And so this, yeah, sometimes it's really hard. Those first hundred times, let's say that you weren't right. Right. It's but it's experience, I think.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

I agree. And I think of scenarios in a in a flower shop, let's say an angry customer or you know, a boss or the owner or the manager. The first thing you shouldn't do is look around and go, okay, whose fault is this? Who did it? Right? Right. That doesn't help anything. It actually shame so your first priority is to solve the problem.

unknown 9:14

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

So receive as much information as you can on what happened, solve the problem once it's solved and get out of the way, then sit back and reflect. Okay, what happens? So and and sometimes, myself included, we get in ourselves in situations and you're constant, you're looking so quickly for whose fault is this? Who's to blame? And that's that's not gonna help, especially if you're running a business and you have a lot of employees, a lot of them part-time. Right now, it's hard to find them. Like, you're not gonna help yourself in your retention issues if that's your first emotion. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Yeah, and you have down here, which is perfect, you know, a good leader always looks in the mirror first. You know, when I'm doing that and I'm reflecting myself, that negativity on my customer or on my staff, right? Wow, you know, maybe I am doing something right, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:19

No, it's it's true. Like that's a hard one. The the in one of the articles that I read, it says, you know, bad performance is always a leadership problem. If you don't look at it that way, you're never gonna correct things in a in a productive way. Because of this, a good leader always looks in the mirror first when something is going wrong before pointing fingers at bad people. So that's hard. I think even if deep down you know Janet did it, she's the one that did this, or whatever. You don't say that, you just take ownership and move on. That's okay, because because you're the you're the leader, right? Number two, am I who I want my team to be? Yeah. Another way of saying this is am I modeling for them the way I want them to be? I have this conversation every time I have a one-on-one orientation with someone that has purchased our prep school courses. When we talk about execution, I tell them two things. Number one, good news, we've done all the hard stuff for you. We have created all the content, we've done all the videos, we have the workbook, we have everything you're gonna need, but you have to watch it too. You have to know what you are giving your staff, you have to know what you're training them with. If you don't, it would be like me giving an assignment to a bunch of eighth grade math students, but I don't know how to do the math, I don't know the equation. That makes no sense because if they have questions, I can't help them, right? Exactly, it's the same thing. So the owner, we can make it as easy as possible for you, but what we can't do is physically be present in your store to answer every I can answer questions, but you have to be able to model it. You have to pick up the phone the way you're wanting them to pick up the phone, right? You have to clean the buckets the way you made them watch the videos and learn how to clean the buckets. You have to sweep the like you have to do all the things.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

It's modeling what you want to have done. Right. I mean, it's that, it's always been that. And when I owned the flower shop, it was, you know, here's how you clean the bucket in our prep schools. It shows us all of that, right? But also when there was a big stack of buckets there, and you know, I wanted to work off a little frustration, I'd go wash some buckets. And then people will be looking like, she's washing buckets, and I'm like, hey, you know, they need to be done. This is all fine. Yeah, it's not like a degrading job. I mean, I'm modeling too. Then they could see that I was part of the team.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Well, and I think you bring that over into our company too, even though we don't all work in a in a brick and mortar flower shop, when we go and do photo shoots um or do any kind of training, you are the one out there at midnight processing the flowers. You know what I mean? Like you do what I would think is called the the grunt work that all the way up because you that's you're a hard worker, that's your work ethic, and you're modeling for everybody else. There is nothing I won't do for this company.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

We're all a team.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

I think honestly, I can tell you, I cannot think of one flower click member that I have a relationship with that's a business owner that isn't that way, to be honest. They are good, I mean, yeah, they're hard workers.

SPEAKER_00 14:16

I love this quote though that you have from Paul Wellstone. It says, never separate the life you live from the words you speak.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

All right, communicating effectively. This is one of the hardest things for business owners to understand because so many times, especially in a fast-paced industry like running a flower shop, we just assume we're on the same page. And so when you assume that you're expecting your employees to read your mind, and that is impossible. You have to be clear, you have to be clear. We talk about this a lot in boss's bonus, kind of because this is that's one of the main reasons why employees leave, right? They didn't get what you needed them to do, and they felt shamed and they felt like you didn't care, and they they didn't understand what you needed them to do, and it is it's all about you.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

It's setting up expectations. I think that is where all communication in a flower shop breaks down in any line of work. I think is if we're not defining the expectations that we have of each and every one of our employees, we can't expect them to be successful. I can't complete a job if you don't tell me what I need to do.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Right, right. And there's a quote here by someone named Gilbert Emilio. I don't know who that is, but I sure want to give him credit if I'm gonna be using his quote. Um, and he said, developing excellent communication skills is absolutely essential to effective leadership. The leader must be able to share knowledge and ideas to transmit a sense of urgency and enthusiasm to others. If a leader can't get a message across clearly and motivate others to act on it, then having that owner having a message doesn't even matter. It's not just in the words you say, it's also in the delivery in which you say it.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Yeah. And just like in sales prep school, I'm talking to employees on how to speak with great tone over the phone and develop that relationship. The owner needs to do that same thing with their employees. Check your tone. Check your tone when you're saying what you're saying.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

And a lot of times when we're talking to an employee or a coworker, there's something called the curse of knowledge. I know this, and I think you should know it. We're actually going to do a podcast on that, Loria. Yeah, and and it is that I know these things. And so sometimes when I'm even teaching that, I skip over it. If I'm doing education within my own staff, and that's why people have found sales prep school and flower prep school so beneficial, is because every single step is there because the curse of knowledge that you know that you think they should know is not there. It's like, oh, we've broke down that barrier. Yeah. So that really does help.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

I agree, especially. I mean, yes, it's in both courses, but especially in flower prep where you go through care and handling. I have heard so much feedback from people going, wow, I didn't even think to, you know, to teach them all of the different ways to process the different basic flowers, you know, maybe something it's different between hydrangea and carnation. You just kind of it becomes such rote memory for so many of you. You just assume, oh, well, they know you don't do this one the same as this one. Well, no, they don't. I wouldn't know.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

That goes to the communication, right? So communication is key. And ask yourself, are you communicating effectively? So let's move on to number four.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Number four is to humbly ask yourself what's working, what isn't? Should we change anything? And if the change is it really really required, right? Um, the other part of number four is the word fear. How much fear is playing into my decision to change or not to change? Yeah. I think this is really hard, especially right now. I feel like every time we have a podcast, I'm saying, especially right now, but we are still in the middle of kind of a COVID pandemic, right? We're going around year number two. Um, and we've gone through these highs and lows and highs of lows, but there's always this underlying fear that a lot of us have. And I've noticed this even more lately in talking even with some Flower Click members about some changes. Maybe they could even about people, you know, should I invest in prep school or, you know, should I be a Flower Click member? All of those kind of conversations. And it is all comes back to fear, fear of either making a change or fear of not making a change.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

I think the fear of not making a change, because people are like, oh my gosh, things are going so well right now. I am so busy. And if I change anything, I'm afraid everything's gonna stop. I'm afraid that, yeah, even if I change one little thing, it's gonna stop and my business is gonna go away, which isn't true. You know, we're we're in this perpetual motion of being crazy and busy, and I need help, I need this, I need that. You know, this is a time of for self-reflection and say, is there something that I can do to make it easier? Rich Sylvaggio always said we need to work smarter, not harder, when we are working on all of our teleflora things. And it's work harder, no, it's work smarter, not harder. But we just think that if we are working harder, it's better and we don't want to change it.

SPEAKER_01 20:39

Yeah. So many times though, making a change or whatever the decision is to make a change or not, it's it's so emotional. So one thing that uh people advise is using something called after action reports. Um, I know when we had Nicole Price on about leadership, she talked about this too, but I think she called it something else, and I can't quite remember what she called it, but after action reports are what they call it in the military, and they're critical to learning. Basically, what that means is after you've done something after an event or after an open house or after fill in the blank, you need to sit down and again being honest with yourself and go through what worked, what didn't. Do I want to do this again? Do we want to make changes? Um, what can we do better next time? And I think that holds true with people, whether you're going to, you know, thinking about joining Flower Click or purchasing uh the prep school or hiring four more people, even though you're not sure you will need to do four, like all of those things you have to. To detach yourself from the emotional side, meaning the fear of what if it doesn't work? What if it you know, and and really take an honest view on paper, write down pros and cons that have nothing to do with your emotions. Because if we do always make, I mean, we we live we work in an industry that is emotional buying, right? It's flower for sure. So we are all highly emotional people because that's why we love this industry, or we wouldn't be in it. So they say it's very difficult if you are high emotion. Don't sit down right there and make that decision. Take a step back and think about it a minute. I also suggest maybe talk to a trusted confidant. Maybe you have a business manager, maybe you have a spouse, maybe you are the owner and you have a manager in your shop and you guys are super close. I don't know. Heck, call me. Somebody that can have a more unemotional attachment to the decision can all give you a different perspective that might be really helpful.

unknown 23:17

Right.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

And fear isn't always necessarily bad, right? So sometimes fear is what motivates us. Sometimes we're looking at those decisions and like, oh my gosh, I don't think I should do this, but because it's out of my comfort zone, and I, you know, fear-based things sometimes drive us to do things that we need to do, but we again take a step back and have somebody help you with that decision. I think that really makes a difference, and we can weigh all of the pros and cons and what makes a difference for us.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

What a couple of things that I have heard recently that I love. This is a huge sign to me that, oh, this is a great business owner, this is gonna be a great fit. Um, I've had people reach out to me and go, hey, uh, you know, they want to know about I'm just gonna use prep school again because that's in my brain. I've been dealing with it all week and all last week. So um, but what I love is they they ask for information, whether I, you know, maybe I call them and have a conversation with them or I'm sending them information, and then they'll come back to me and they'll go, Hey, I brought it to my team, meaning their staff. We talked about it, and yes, we want to do it. We're so excited. And when I get those voicemails or those emails, like my heart just goes all aflutter because I'm like, they are going to love it because they're all in. Yeah, that business owner went and went to the team as a great leader and said, Hey, I'm thinking about doing this, I think it'll be really good. Here's what it is. Give me some feedback. What do you think? And they all took a little bit of ownership in it. They're gonna do it because it was all their idea.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

Yep, exactly. Which is such a huge battle, and that's a sign of a good leader, Lauren.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

Exactly, exactly. Right. So I love it. She shared the information, she empowered them to do their own little research. I actually had a couple of employees even reach out to me via Facebook Messenger or you know, those kind of things. I'm like, I just I love those kind of owners, they just get it.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

That kind of plays into number five is how can I serve my team better? And can I let my ego go? Right? Does my ego have too much sway in what I'm doing? And when that manager or owner went to the team, they put their ego on the shelf and said, Okay, it's not all about me, it's about them, it's about us as a team. And boy, that just makes you serve everyone better.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Yeah, so many times I think in our minds, we think a good leader is you come in, you're authoritative, you say, here's what we're gonna do, you know, blah, blah, blah. And it's actually the exact opposite. I and and I'm not saying go to your team and do just what they say. I'm saying go to your team, share the idea, get feedback, welcome as much feedback. And and one thing I do talk about in bosses bonus, and I'm not gonna go in detail, is when you ask for feedback on a idea that you're thinking about, you have to give a timeline, like, hey, and and and be very clear, I'm gonna make the decision on Friday. So if you guys have any feedback for me between now and then, my door is open. But on Friday, I will take everything I've received and I will make the decision because you ultimately will be the one to accept the responsibility if it does fail. You don't want to go back to them, go, well, you guys told me to do it, right? Can't do that. No, that's right. That's where the part the does my ego hold too much sway. It says, Ego, which we all have, closes your ears to the better ideas that others may have. It limits the wisdom you apply to only your own or to at least greatly overvalues yourself. So when we let our ego get in the way, when we want to be the person that has the idea, man, you are not doing your business any favors.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

No, and you're not doing your team any favors, you're not doing yourself as a leader any favors because then your team does not listen to you, right? They're like, it doesn't matter what I say, because you know, she's always right, she's not gonna listen anyway. So then they retract and say, I'm not even gonna participate in giving feedback that she asked me for because she really doesn't mean that. Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

So, what are our takeaways, Vonda?

SPEAKER_00 28:17

It's hard to be a boss or a manager or a leader. That's the takeaway. You know, it sounds like oh, let's be the boss, let's be the boss, let's be the leader. And right now it is really challenging to be an owner or a manager because it is because of everything that's being thrown at us, right? But the questions that we have to ask ourselves, I think that's it, is ask yourself the hard questions. You know, yeah, if there's chaos all around me, if people aren't listening to me, boy, it's time for me to take a look at myself and say, what is it that I should be doing a little bit better? Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

And I think the key to all of it, in my opinion, is just be authentic. You know, be honest and open with them. You're gonna make mistakes, you're gonna have weaknesses, you're gonna have little mini temper tantrums. We all do. But don't be afraid to show that side of yourself to them because then it's gonna make them feel like, oh my gosh, they're human, they mess up just like I do. It's important for employees to see their bosses make a mistake. Well, it really is.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

On that note, I was doing a Loom tutorial this morning trying to show how to pull something out of a point of sale system this morning. And I ran this report and I'm like, well, that's not right. And I say that in my little tutorial that I'm recording. I'm like, so see, here we go. We have to try again. So it's so funny that you said that because it's it's recorded. There's my mistake. You have proof, you have proof now, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

But I mean, if you don't show those things, you are going to be stifling a lot of the creativity in your employees because they're gonna be so fearful to mess up because you never mess up, you have to laugh at yourself because and they need to be able to see that yes, you're human, you can still be a really good leader, but being authentic is is key.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

And then the next thing is the harsh truth of the matter is if you have an unproductive team and you feel like it's all in chaos, more than likely it's your fault.

SPEAKER_00 30:46

Wow, that's hard.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

But that's also good news because you can change it, you know.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

You have the power, you know, you are in control of yourself to be able to make those changes.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

Yep. So uh these are just things that have been on our mind. That's we all right, Vonda. Here's my question, and I don't I'm gonna tell you my answer. So, what has given me life this right now? What's making me happy? What's inspiring me right now? Yes, what is that? I will tell you here in hot, hot Houston, Texas, it's been in the 70s, and I love it. It's made me very happy. It was actually a little too cold yesterday, and last night it was in the 50s, but it changes my mood. I like wearing long sleeve, I like wearing jeans, but I don't love wearing a coat. I don't like coat weather, but I like cool weather.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

Well, so this is the perfect time in Houston for you.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

Nice, it is well this week. I don't know what next week will be. It might be 99 degrees next week. So, what's inspiring you right now?

SPEAKER_00 31:51

What's inspiring me is that I get to see you and Ellie and Audrey next week. That's what's inspiring me. We get to get together and go to the Bill Doran Company in Houston, Texas, and then Dallas and really get out among people.

SPEAKER_01 32:07

And I'm excited to I know it. I am excited too. And you know what I am most excited about is that I'm gonna put my Christmas tree up before you get here because I need you and Ellie to do my tree topper. I can do the rest. I just never can do last year. I don't know if you remember, but I had a like, I think I even did a video I FaceTimed in our flower clip members because I was stressing over and they were all typing in, going, no, move it to the left. No, and finally, I think it was Josh from Nature's Best. I think he FaceTimed me and she's like, Listen, he told me that's so funny. So it takes a whole village to get my tree looking okay. But it was very, very nice of them. They were taking minutes out of their day to help me because it was it was a sad mess. But anyway, I'm excited. I'm excited. So I hope everybody has a great day. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the Business and Pleasure of Flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

We look forward to seeing you next week. So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.