Celebrating our 100th Episode with Four Ways to Create a Positive Ripple

Episode 100: Vonda and Lori have hit a  milestone with this episode ~ number 100! The goal was to help others with "Business and Pleasure" advice about flowers  and the feedback shows that they have created a bit of a positive ripple!  Happy dance here! Listen in as they share 4 ways you can make a difference in your everyday life.  A favorite quote from Mother Teresa says it all "I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples"

Check out:  SevenDays 

Our Sponsors:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School

Sponsored by:
Flower Clique
Flower Clique Prep School
Real Life Retail Florist

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

So many people nowadays just want to be listened to, but you gotta seek those people out.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

I am just cracking up because all I can do is laughing.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

I'm like, I feel like this is heartfelt. Why are you making fun of me? You're not listening.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

No, no, no. It's the listening page. You shared it with us a long time ago. Welcome to the Business and Pleasure of Flowers. We're your host, Vonda LaFever and Lori Wilson.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Lori, today is such an exciting day for us. Do you know why? Do you remember? Um, I don't know, Vonda.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

My brain hurts. Why? Why? Oh, oh! It's our this is our 100th episode anniversary, right?

SPEAKER_00 0:59

It is. It's our 100th podcast episode here. Of course, we did have two little short ones, but this one is the official 100. Woo-hoo! That's amazing. Who to funk it? Right? I know. I mean, then I had that goal in 2016, and then finally in 2020, we launched it.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Yeah, that's insane. This has been in your mind and on your heart for years. It was almost like a bucket list thing. You're like, I want to see if I can do it. And did a hundred of them so far? We've done a hundred. It doesn't feel like we've done a hundred. It doesn't, does it? I mean, no, and I think I think the reason it doesn't feel like it is because so many times when it is just you and I, it's just like we're having a conversation. It this one just actually got recorded. So true. So that's pretty cool. So congratulations, Vonda.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

And congratulations, Lori. We did it. Yes, we did it.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

And hopefully we will keep keep moving forward. And I think we'll just be grateful for every episode we do from here on.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

Yes, for sure. And you know, I just returned from visiting a friend who, you know, had one of those cages over the top of their pool. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Yes, the way in Florida, and it keeps out all the bugs. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Okay, so I was sitting out there early in the morning, just enjoying my coffee, sitting in what I call the classroom of silence. It's just beautiful. And there was dew on top of the cage, and just occasionally a single drop of water would drop into the pool and it would create this ripple. And I was just sitting there reflecting on how one single thing causes so much difference in well, in the pool, right? It was completely still and it went through the whole pool. And I'm just watching each of those little ripples. And and we've all heard of that, right? The ripple effect. And there's been so much written about it. You know, the definition is the continuing and spreading results of an event or an action. So the action, a drop of water, and the result was just, I don't know, I was just really reflecting all that.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Well, I I do love that. Um, I think, you know, this last 20 months, how we all started with that unknown of, oh my gosh, what's happening and how are we going to end this and blah, blah, blah, blah. Throughout, I've seen so many and I've experienced so many conversations or been able to witness things where one person helped me and made me want to help somebody else, or I helped one person, and maybe I didn't even know I helped them. And then six months later, I'm talking to somebody different, and they're like, Oh, so-and-so told me about you. You helped them, and I was like, Wow, I did. I don't remember that. And it is, it's the one person can really help change somebody else's lives. Just one little, you know, a lot of times we think, uh, this this task is too big. There's no way I can do it. But it's those small changes. When you told me you kind of want to talk, talk about the ripple effect. I went to the quote um that I've seen on Pinterest and Instagram many, many times from Mother Teresa that says, I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples. And I love, love, love that. The other thing that I immediately thought was my friend Mindy Corcoran, who we've had on the podcast, she came to talk about grief, her seven days of kindness organization, that is their little motto, be the ripple, be the change. And so I went over to her website to see what her definition is for ripple. And it says a small wave or series of waves in the surface of water, especially as caused by one object dropping into it, or just a slight breeze. I love that. Like just one little drop, one little piece of information, one little piece of encouragement can start an entire wave. Yeah, it's crazy, isn't it? We've seen so many times or heard so many times about, you know, like you're in the Starbucks drive-up line and you go to get your order, and the person in front of you paid for it, and you're so taken aback, and you have your credit card, you're like, Well, I want to do the same for the person behind me, and then it just keeps going. I'm like, that's the ripple effect, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

Somebody had to start it.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

That one act of kindness, brave act of kindness can change the world. So it really wanna give a shout out to the Seven Days Foundation that Mindy has done. I know the ripple effect has been around. There's so many research papers about it too, but she's the one that really got it in my head about the what the concept really meant.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

And I think we'll drop that in the show notes too. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Look that up. That'd be just great. But we found four ways to create a positive ripple. Because I think right now, when people are like they're tired, right? They're going into the holiday season and the rush-rush of the season. I think if we could be intentional and somehow be that drop, be that little wave to make a difference, we would see a change in the culture of our business, right? Whether it's our our shops, you know, the ripple effects psychology says that emotion is contagious in groups, right? It's precisely the transfer of moods among the people in the group. So if you come in to work and you're Debbie Downer, for sure, you're just gonna bring everybody down, but be that positive ripple and good morning, everyone. And you know, for a while they might just shoot daggers at you, right? Right with those eyes, but yeah, if you continue that, you're gonna see a different change in the culture of your shop.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Yeah, I definitely think moods are contagious. Um, I was talking with a flower shop the other day that's in our sales training program, and the owner was a little bit concerned because she's like, How do I get my staff on board? Nobody, you know, they're like, eh, why do we have to do this? And I'm like, you know, if I can be honest, it's all in the delivery. How are you delivering this message to them? If you say to them, listen, I just bought sales training online courses. Every one of you need to have it done by Friday. Yeah, you're gonna have a lot of people roll their eyes and not be too motivated. But if you go at it, you know, you're just one person. Go, listen, I signed up for this really cool course. I'm gonna do it too. I know we already know how to sell, but maybe we'll learn something new. Let's do it together, you know. Right, you're gonna see a change in how they respond because everybody wants to be a part of something, right? And and and if they want to go along with part of the team, they're gonna have to at least act excited about it.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

Right. Or even if you've looked at it a little and went, I did take a little peek, and it's kind of cool, you know, it's it's not too cheesy or something, you know, whatever. Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

It's all in our tone. The other thing that I thought about as far as the emotional contagion of your mood or the ripple effect is something we talk about in sales training on how to diffuse a situation with an angry customer. But that next step that is so important, you as the owner, the manager, you need to make sure the employee that dealt with that, like grab them and come back and say, Okay, if you need to decompress, let's talk through it. Because if they are still in that, if they've been hurt, if that person was super rude, you know, and they're angry, they're gonna pass that on to the next employee and the next, and they're all gonna get down. So that ripple effect can actually be negative.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

Yeah, and you definitely don't want that, but I love that in the sales training where you say that it's like take them aside, kind of said, Hey, do you need a minute?

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Listen, it was not your fault. It's okay, let this go, you know, do whatever they have to do because you don't want you don't want that ripple effect of negative emotion to filter through your shop either.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

No, for sure, especially during a holiday, right? Yes, exactly. It's bad anytime, but worse when we're coming on the holidays. So let's start with the four ways to create a positive ripple. And the first is really acknowledge someone. You know, you're on the phone and talking to someone. Well, yeah, everybody's on their cell phone this day. Look up and acknowledge the existence of a person. Wow, a smile, a nod, maybe even a little wave. Yeah. Just let them that can go a long way. You know, it can.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

And this this doesn't have to do with anything about working in the shop, but a while back I was at the grocery store. You know, one of my favorite places, I the big grocery store. And I was in an aisle, and there was an older gentleman, probably in his 70s, I don't know. And he had a piece of paper that had some beautiful cursive handwriting on it, which made me think of my grandmother because that's how she wrote. And he was looking, staring, and I can't remember what he was looking for. It was a oh, I think it was like self-rising flower or you know, some type of anyway, he was confused, and I could just sort of tell on his face. So I went over and I go, You look perplexed. And he's like, Well, they don't make it easy, you know. And we kind of talked, I was like, What are you looking for? Anyway, I helped him and he was kind of joking, you know. And we walked anyway. We met again by accident on the next aisle. He struck a comment, he goes, Can you just follow me to every aisle? But I was like, you know, I could have just walked by him. But the second aisle, when I walked on, he said, Thank he was just so grateful.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

And and he just opened up where when I first saw him, he did kind of look like a grumpy old man. But he really was funny and he was annoyed because he had to go to the grocery store. His wife had like some sort of ankle, something she couldn't go to the store anyway. But that's what I was thinking about, just acknowledging. It's so easy to just go right by him. And I'm not saying I don't ever go right by him because I do, you get hyper-focused, especially when everyone's wearing a mask and you're just every man to himself and you're trying to get through the store. But to stop and just say, you look confused or you look perplexed. I didn't want to use the word confused because that, but keep it a positive, yeah. Difference, and I I want to believe it made him feel good for the day.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

I don't know because I've never seen him since not only did it make him feel good, it made you feel good. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

Yeah, I had I'm I I enjoyed it, you know. I think uh I don't know, we just don't do that enough. It's good for the soul, it is to remember to hey, maybe I need to make a new friend. Love that, I love that. So that was acknowledge somebody. The next one is appreciate somebody. It says that we tend to hold back our appreciation for folks and not express that we appreciate their gifts to the world or our lives. So we take the time to show somebody that you appreciate them, make it genuine and not forced. And just doing that could send that person on a positive path. You know, you you never know.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

So let me give you this example. Okay, I actually called you after this happened because I was just like, oh my gosh, it was such a little thing. So I was driving to the store because I like to go to the store too, yeah. Once we finally get out, right? And there were some people walking on the side of the road, two people side of the road. And so I went clear over in the other lane. I made sure there was another car coming, went on the other lane, and as I started to do that, they just smiled and waved in appreciation for somebody who was work look looking out for their best interest, right? Yeah, it was such a it was just you know, it's what we do. We just like, okay, I want to be very careful. But that smile and that wave told them how much they appreciated what I did, and I wouldn't away, and I actually called you and I'm like, Lori, wow, just to smile because people are now not wearing masks in um the open air. And so they were smiling and waving and joyful, and because they appreciated that little thing that I did. I don't have made your heart feel good. Yes, because you called and you go, we need to do a podcast about smiling, remember?

SPEAKER_01 14:45

I was like, Well, and then or no, you and then you came here and you brought it up again. And Ellie was like, Mom, what about smiling?

SPEAKER_02 14:54

Like, what how are you gonna do all this?

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Like, and what's the takeaway? That's what she said. So, anyway, so I did get to incorporate that.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

You did, you threw that in there.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

See, you got your smiling, but it's it is very true, just being appreciative. I was on the phone trying to schedule a just a doctor's appointment before the end of the year, and my insurance starts all over again. You know, everyone's trying to get all your doctors yesterday, and the woman, you know, she takes 500 phone calls a day. And anyway, I just start kind of chatting her, and she I can't oh, their map was wrong on their website. And so I didn't, that was the first thing I noticed because I always look at websites, right? That's my problem. And so we were just kind of talking, and I was trying to be super nice, and I was telling her how helpful she was, and then I she goes, Okay, and she's trying to get me off. I go, hey, I said, Can I tell you something? And she goes, Yes, and I said, I'm sure you aren't the one that is in charge of your website. I said, but you guys are located in the woodlands, Texas. I said, but the map on your website says you're in Nashville, Tennessee. I said, it also says you are a men's something. Anyway, she's like, What? And this was a women's, it's like the OBGYN space. And then she and I got tickled because she's like, people are gonna think we're raunchy.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

Like, and I was like, What?

SPEAKER_01 16:24

She goes, 'Well, it says men, and anyway, we were on the phone an additional five minutes laughing. It wasn't her fault, but I go, I just wanted to delete.' She goes, 'I appreciate no one else has ever told how long has this been like this.' That's so funny, Lori.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

And she was, but anyway, she's like, I so appreciate this. And I was like, Well, I'm glad I was honest with you. Anyway, I feel like when I see her at my daughter's appointment, I'm gonna give her a hug.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Yes, that's right. I love that. Love that. Well, the next one is advise somebody, help somebody become a better version of themselves or make it through a tough time. You know, something that you can give them. Maybe it's sound financial advice. What can you do to help someone get to the next level? You do that all the time, Lori, with your sales training. I think, you know, a lot of times they're not in sales prep school, but you're just talking naturally and you really give people advice. I guess flower click, we do that all the time, right? It's just a we do, we do.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

And I I think people listening right now might some of you, because I know it went through my mind, might be going, I don't what can I teach them? You know, I can't advise anybody on anything. But here's the the sentence I would add to this listen. It sometimes people don't need advice, sometimes they just need you to listen. Here's a secret what I do so many times. I listen and then I say back to them what I heard them say, and they realize they actually knew the solution to the problem the whole time. They just didn't have the confidence. So I don't want people to sit there and think, well, I can't, I don't know much. I don't even know about my own finances. I can't give that, or I don't know how to do designs, right? Or make designs I can't advise, like whatever. But I think so many people nowadays just want to be listened to, but you got to seek those people out. I am just cracking up because all I can do is You're laughing.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

I'm like, I feel like this is heartfelt. Why are you making fun of me? You're not listening. No, no, no. It's the listening. You shared it with us a long time ago, and it's it's a short YouTube video that's called It's Not About the Nail. And it is stinking hilarious because it's about listening, it's not about trying to solve it while people are listening. It's when it's marriage, but it's life. It's life, it is life. It's called you guys have to YouTube it, it's not about the nail. And it was like in 2013. And I'm telling you, you remember that when you were saying that, that's all I could think of is because we just have to listen. We don't have to solve what's going on, right?

SPEAKER_01 19:30

You just yeah, and you know, I think a lot of our like our shop talk, I know talked about it on here a lot, but that's kind of what we do in there. Yeah, we can bring solutions, but meeting with other shop owners in that safe space, it's kind of that thing. Like a lot of times we don't have a solution, but just knowing all 47 people on the call are going through the same thing, sometimes that's just that's enough. Just yeah, you're not alone. You're not going through not alone, we're all in this together. And um, so I think being able to offer advice if it's available, if if you're confident in it, is is wonderful. Who doesn't love that if if they're asking? But every one of us can listen.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

Yeah, I love that, Lori. That is so true. That's so true. So then the next one is admire someone, show someone that you admire them for who they are and what they give to the world. I think that's so cool, demonstrating it and show the difference that somebody gets when they feel important and appreciated. Now I'm gonna go back many years on this one because as you know, I I'm not too bad at doing mechanical things. I can try to solve all these problems, right? Yeah, and in high school, I took auto mechanics. Of course, I did first small engine and then car engine. Anyway, I had this teacher who was a young guy at the time, really a good teacher, just because he listened and he wasn't a know it all, right? Because he was new and he was a little skeptical. So I Googled him, I picked up the phone, and I called him. And he's like, probably wondered what the heck, right? Mr. Shelody was his name from Nevada, Iowa. And I called and I just said, Hey, I just want you to know I was a student of yours way back in 1977. And I just wanted to know that you were made a big impression on me in those years, and that now I feel like I can try anything because you just always encouraged us. You know, once you know the basics, you can, you know, learn anything from there. And I had just fixed my a lawn mower or something. Right, right. Yeah. And oh my gosh, it was just. Just one of those things that you could just tell. First, he was dumbfounded that I picked up the phone and called him. And then we just talked for a while to see how he was doing, how the students were doing in the school. And you know, he had moved from another that school to a different school. And anyway, so I admired him so much. And there's so many people that we do need to just either pick up the phone or send an email or you know, drop a card in the mail if you can find an address, because it does make a difference, you know.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

I think it does. And I think um putting myself in a shop owner's shoes or an employee's anyone working in this industry that might be listening to this, the the key to telling someone that is authenticity, like not just generality, like, oh, I admire you so much. Yeah, no. And then that's it. Point out why. Yeah, what is it? What is it about him? Like, I admire you so much because you have these genuine leadership skills that I, you know, not everybody has, or I admire you, you know, whatever. Be specific because most of us can sit back and go, yeah, right, whatever. Like, you know what I mean? It's it's harder to accept. And the other thing is, it's really hard for most of us to accept compliments. Like, what's up with that? Why is that so hard for us? So the more genuine you can be, I think the more receptive the person would be. Does that make sense? Totally, totally.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

Yeah. I was on the other end of that one time, right? So I was at the flower shop, and when I was in Dixon, I went out to the airport, the Dixon airport, and I taught this class to underprivileged kids about flight, right? So it's all about that. And then if they graduated, then I could take them up for a flight in the airplane. So they got to go through this, and it wasn't just me giving the flights, Ron Keith and or some other people doing that. So it's just like, okay, this was a blip. It was six weeks out of a summer. I did that. Fast forward, I think it was 10 years. This young man comes into the store, to the flower shop, and he said, I just want to thank you. And I'm like, I have no idea who he was. Right. Right. He was dressed in fatigue. So I don't know what I remember, but he said he had gone to the Air Force. That's what it was. He was in the Air Force because of that training that we gave him. And he said, I just want you to know that's the reason I went. And I was just, I was just crying, of course. Can't you imagine? You had no idea. I had not a clue.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

Sparked a desire in someone to go down that route.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Talk about genuine. You know, this kid was so genuine and came in, and you're right, it's hard to accept those things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

Um well, but I think that was that wasn't even your motive. Like, your goal wasn't to get everybody to go into the air force, right? No, no, no, no, no. It's the ripple effect. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

We had no idea. Yeah. Yeah. We were teaching them math and science and and all of those life skills. And that ripple is so cool.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

You just never know. I also think so many times we don't tell the people until it's the funeral of the person. You're right. You know, I think I think about my mother who taught school for 40 years. She was a kindergarten teacher, and the story after story after story after story that I'm still getting from people who had her as a teacher. And you know, the impact. And I'm like, this is beautiful, and I love and appreciate every one of these. Right. And she would have just appreciated it even more. Not that she didn't know some of these. Um, and then on the flip side, my mother-in-law, who is too a retired teacher, there is a group of adults now that she had in class in elementary school. There's, I don't know, a few of five of them. I think they still come and visit her on her birthday. They did a little honor Esther Wilson party type thing for her not very long ago, but they're doing it all now. And that is so fulfilling and life-giving to the person, the recipient. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

Oh my gosh, that's so wow, so much joy.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

You never know.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

You don't. We we just don't. So, well, we're getting toward the end of the time, Lori. So let's see. What are the takeaways for today?

SPEAKER_01 26:49

Well, I think the first one is anyone can create a ripple, right? We all can drop a little bit of water, we can pay for the drive-thru behind us, we can pull the neighbors' trash cans back up to their garage, we can, you know, do whatever. And you never know how many ripples that's gonna make.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

Right. Right. I love that. So that's really the biggest takeaway. The other one is if you have a goal like our podcast, go for it, right? You have we're at a hundred. And so if you have a goal and you're thinking, oh, I should do that sometime, I'm just gonna encourage you, you know, just do it. Start it now.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

Even if you're listening now and you're okay, my I'm gonna start my new goal January 1. No, start it now. Just start it now. It doesn't we don't have to always start our new lives on January 1.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

That's so true, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 27:50

All right, Vonda, what is inspiring you right now?

SPEAKER_00 27:54

What is inspiring me right now is a who, and that is Audrey Christoph, who worked with Audrey, she's Wonder Woman. Yes, she really is. I mean, she's got so much going on with work, and then she and her family have COVID. Have COVID, they're all back through. They're all God, yeah. So she's like has this really bad cold. But you know, instead of telling me that yesterday, she's like, sure, I can meet with you. Yeah so you know, we were on the phone for an hour and then she goes, Did Lori tell you? And I said, Well, I knew you were attested. She goes, Oh, I do, I do have it. Yeah, and and at that time she was also said, Hold on just a minute. And she pulled two turkeys out of the oven because her daughter needed them for a youth group thing. Yep. And I'm like, Okay, you and your husband and your son all have COVID. You're working through two turkeys, you're fixing turkeys, and we have a product guide for our members.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

Oh, yeah. Posting on the social media for our I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

So she is inspiring me this week.

SPEAKER_01 28:56

Yeah, no, she has, and and you know the thing, I've known Audrey many years, 20 years, very long time. She is not the type. Well, I'll I'll just use myself. If I am sick, I feel that maybe the whole world needs to know. So I will make sure everybody knows about it so everyone can feel bad for me. That's not her, like she's the opposite of that, yeah, is on a as need-to-know basis.

SPEAKER_00 29:26

Yeah, for sure. I could tell that yesterday. Audrey, we love you if you're listening. Yes. So, what is inspiring you, Lori?

SPEAKER_01 29:34

What is inspiring me is when this airs, I will have all of my little chickens under my nest for the holidays for Thanksgiving week. So I'm excited, excited. My oldest child, Davis, who lives near Audrey and is best friends with her daughter. Davis and his sister, my daughter Bailey, who are 15 months apart, have not seen each other face to face in two years. It'll be two years. Oh my gosh. Isn't that crazy? Wow. Because he wasn't able to come home at all. And so, yeah, it's it's gonna be. I mean, they've seen each other. So that to them, they're like, What? I was like, We can hug and we can anyway. I'm just excited.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

Oh, I can see why. Oh, that's so exciting! That'll be so exciting. All right. Well, you have a great week, and I guess we'll talk after Thanksgiving on this program. We'll be back for 101. Yes, we will.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the business and pleasure of flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa. We look forward to seeing you next week.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.