The Business & Pleasure of Flowers
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The Business & Pleasure of Flowers
Holiday Traditions: Poinsettias, Ornaments, an Elf and Perhaps Some Grief
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Episode 104: The week before Christmas Vonda and Lori take time to reflect on traditions, both past and present personal favorites, along with the history behind some well know holiday traditions shared by many. Memories can also trigger grief. Lori shares wisdom and advice from her friend and author, Mindy Corporon, which might be helpful to navigate the holidays for some.
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Christmas can be hard. Christmas there's the holidays all through from thanks putting on. If you've lost someone or if you know you're going through a tough time in your life, boy, those can be really tough, and we really want to be mindful of that too. Yeah. Welcome to the Business and Pledger of Flowers. We're your hosts, Vonda LaFever and Lori Wilson.
SPEAKER_02And we believe that business and fun are a perfect combination. Kind of like us, Vonda.
SPEAKER_01So Lori, I'm enjoying my coffee this morning, and this morning I have gingerbread since it's Christmas weed. Oh, it's gingerbread.
SPEAKER_02Does that sound great? It does sound great. My daughter has, you know, we have a bread maker. Yes. One of these appliances that will sit for five years, and then you pull it out and make a couple, and then you're like, ugh, put it back because we're eating too much bread. And yes, right. You just have to store it. Anyway, she and my son, I think mostly she have made two loaves of gingerbread. Ooh, it is so good. My whole house smells like a candle, and it's so, so, so, so good. It's just delicious.
SPEAKER_01So that would go good with your coffee. It would, my gosh. And just the fragrance of that when you're baking in the house this time of year. I mean, this week is going to be a lot of that because Ellie's here and she's going to make all kinds of Christmas cookies.
SPEAKER_02Yes. We were doing the same thing this morning. My daughter came in and I was like, Do you have our list? Because you got to narrow it down. How many things are we going to make? We got to get a grocery list. And she's like, We got it. And I said, Yeah, I'm thinking maybe this afternoon. It's very stressful. Yeah, exciting.
SPEAKER_01It is. Well, and this week on the podcast, we didn't want to do anything that was really heavy and something you had to think about. So we thought, really, talk about the holiday, uh, Christmas, year-end traditions that people have. Yeah. Do you have any, Lori, that you want to share? Like when you were a child.
SPEAKER_02Well, I was thinking about the word traditions, and my whole childhood, you know, I grew up in the same town of every aunt, uncle, cousin, sister, grandma, everybody lived in the same town. And then as an adult, moved away four different places, and my kids grew up complete opposite the way I did. So our traditions kind of changed. Growing up, it was always family. Christmas Eve was my mom's side of the family, which was huge. Christmas Day, you just walk down the street and across it to my dad's side of the family. I was like, you know, every everybody was there. So I look at that and think I was very privileged to grow up in that way. But our Christmas Eves always seemed to be bigger. Christmas Eve, my mother's side of the family, everybody sang. My grandmother played piano. We sang every Christmas carol. And of course, you can imagine when I got to be about six years old, I took that over as the lead and would make an agenda of the songs. I love that. Yes, and there are many videos. And even the first time I ever brought my husband, who was I was dating at the time to our Christmas Eve, he saw me in a strange light because we always do 12 days of Christmas, and I assign everybody. And my dad and uncle, who neither can carry a tune, are always five golden rings, and they're always a couple cocktails in by the time this starts, and nobody else drinks, but they're the only two. And so my husband was like a deer on the headlights for that. But that is one of my favorite, favorite memories. Memories, yeah, yeah, was the just so much music, so much music, and all piano. You know, my grandma just could play everything in the world, and then I don't play the piano. I'm not a great singer, so my kids didn't so much have that. I mean, we would travel to go, but it got harder as the kids got older to be gone over Christmas, so maybe we'd leave after Christmas, so Santa could come to our it just became a whole thing. That's always a hard transition for sure. It is, it is, but I know how incredibly lucky I was to be raised the way I was, and we didn't have tons of money, but I didn't know we didn't because I would have so many presents, they might be something my uncle and dad made really cool toys. They could make like wooden cars and trucks, these big things, and they would sell them at a store, a local store in the town back when before franchises. So they made me a baby doll high chair and a crib one time. I still have them both, I still have them, they're up in my attic. So, you know, I knew Santa's elves made those. I there was no doubt in my mind to this day, I even wonder because I'm like, I don't, Daddy, how did you make? I do think Santa had something to do with it. So I love that. I mean, you got each got enough, right? You know, it was never overboard, but it was always exactly what we thought we needed. I don't know. What about you?
SPEAKER_01Were you raised in Iowa? I was raised in Iowa, born and raised in Iowa, and our Christmas Eve was pretty low-key because Christmas morning was our big celebration. And unlike you, we did not have musical people in our family at all, let me tell you. But we would always go to um the Christmas Eve service, and one of my favorite things was always the silent night, and you pass the candles. Yes, yeah, everybody would be singing, and it was just so beautiful. And I just remember as a child even wanting to go to church on Christmas Eve because of that particular part. Because usually, you know, kids are just like, Yeah, we have to go, yes, and anyway. Um, and then Christmas morning was you know coming down. Stockings were always big at my house. I mean, my mother and dad loved stockings, and we've talked about this before. My mom wrapped every single gift that was in the stocking.
SPEAKER_02And I know some people are like that is a Martha Stewart before there was Martha Stewart.
SPEAKER_01I mean, do you did your parents wrap those gifts in your stocking?
SPEAKER_02Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_01No, everything was wrapped, and so that tradition has passed on to my kids and my grandkids, and everybody has little wrapped packages, and even the pack of gum is wrapped up that's in your stocking.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so I have to tell you something about my mother who is not on this earthen anymore, but my mom was one of the funniest humans that ever walked the face of this earth, and she was like not super crafty creative. She wasn't like beautiful rapping. Anyway, the first year that I started maybe questioning Santa how that whole thing works, the reason I questioned it was Christmas morning. I went in and almost everything was wrapped in our local newspaper. Oh my gosh. And I asked her, and she had this elaborate story ready on how Santa Claus showed up. He ran out of wrapping paper, he woke her up, he asked, and she's like, Well, I've got some leftover newspaper. He said, That'll do just fine, Mrs. Brock. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's that's the difference between the creative as far as the kindergarten teacher who can tell a heck of a story.
SPEAKER_02She can tell my teacher was she didn't miss a beat and it made sense. Sure. I was like, Wow, Santa ran out of her room. That's crazy, but I could see that happen. It happened, but that crazy she was not a really good rapper, she would just throw it all together, and but I didn't care. I didn't care. No, I think that's awesome.
SPEAKER_01Well, I always think it's interesting to hear how Christmas traditions got started. Yeah, okay. You know, and so there were there were a few that we're pulling up. One that I think was interesting is is the poinsetta and that one getting started. It's really America's Christmas flower. And although they're native to Central America, they're brought to the United States and given their name by the country's first U ambassador to Mexico, who was a botanist, Joel Roberts Poinset, in in 1820. Isn't that crazy? Wow. But it was Paul Ecke Sr. who developed the first poinsetta plant that could be grown indoors in grow pots. And he began selling them at the roadside stands in Hollywood, California, right? So fast forward, and his son, Paul Ecke Jr., who turned his father's North San Diego County Ranch into the nation's largest producer of poinsettas and really made the poinsetta the U.S. top-selling potted plant. So it's kind of interesting that someone brought it to the U.S. Another person, Paul Ecke, is the one who made it possible in a potted plant, brought it from outdoors in, and then his son was the mass marketer, really, and brought it to become the number one container plant in America, is what they're saying. And so the Society of America Florists has the Paul Ecke Jr. Award, which recognizes devotion to professionalism in business, the industry, and the community in which they live and work. So that's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_02So speaking of plants around this time, that sparked another memory I had. Um, and it does have to do with flower shops because one thing I do remember vividly, my grandmother always bought Christmas blankets for graves.
SPEAKER_01Oh, the grave blanket, yeah.
SPEAKER_02It was a very big deal. Um, and sometimes, and I saw a flower shop posted one, and I was like, oh my gosh, I remember it was like a log with flowers in it, whether it's a points out or depending on where you live, um, that could go be taken to a grave site for a Christmas summer.
SPEAKER_01So that's different than the grave blankets.
SPEAKER_02Yes, very yeah, yeah, yeah. But I saw it online at the shop, and I it triggered because a lot of people don't do grave blankets anymore.
SPEAKER_01There's certain areas that still do a lot of grape blankets. I mean, yeah, and then of course, then on social media, there were someone like somebody ordered a grape blanket. How do I do that? Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_02It's like those were a very big deal, so much so that um after my grandmother passed away, she died about five years after my brother died, and so every year she bought a blanket for her grandson, but when she died, she had it already paid for the next like 10 years. Oh wow, I'm like, wow, she thought that was so important to her.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and anyone who's on here who lives in the Midwest and does grave blankets still will recall the times that or maybe you're still doing it, is going out there, and you have to bring a broom and you have to sweep off the grave with the snow, or sometimes it was the leaves, and put it on there, and then use these big stakes and you put them into the ground, and you have a hammer, and it's a lot of work, Lori. It is a lot of work.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I you know, Christmas in Oklahoma could be very snowy, icy too. And I I do remember going, but I remember this is such a crazy memory, but I remember going out there and seeing it and feeling proud that there was one. You know what? I don't know, right? Because everybody didn't have one, right? No. And she would it was through a local flower shop.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And anyway, that's that was a that's that's great.
SPEAKER_01That's a great memory and a great tradition. I mean, it was a tradition of your grandma, it's a tradition of a lot of people. Yeah, they'll have standing orders set up, or we used to call and say, you know, you've done this in the past, do you want to continue to do it? Yeah, yeah. That's yeah. So one of these that's on the list is not a tradition that I have ever heard of. And I don't know about you, Christmas pickles. I heard of them when we moved to Ohio.
SPEAKER_02There were, I cannot remember the story behind them.
SPEAKER_01Is it German? It says if there's a pickle among your snowman, angel, or reindeer ornaments, you're likely taking part of an American tradition of hiding a green ornament on the tree, so that the first child that finds it gets to open the first Christmas present on Christmas morning. But it probably was from a World War's marketing gimmick in the late 1800s when the retailer received imported, you're right, German ornaments shaped like a pickle and needed some kind of a sales pitch. What a marketer, huh? Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And it says on Christmas morning, the first person to find the pickle on the tree would receive an extra present from Santa Claus or would be said to have a year of good fortune. Oh, there you go. I do remember people get I remember seeing that Christmas ornament in stores too. Like, agree. I've seen a pickle and I'm like, why would somebody want a pickle on their tree? Strange. I am not into pickles on my tree. But so speaking of Christmas ornaments, Vonda, I have a question for you. Okay, I think there's two types of people in the world, maybe three types. There are the types that super sentimental, like every kid ornament that would they their kids ever make, like their whole tree is decked out in kid stuff. There are the type that do maybe a little combination, but they're still sentimental ornaments. And there's the type that have no sentimental ornaments, they get new ornaments every year, they do different themes. Where do you stand in the ornament sentiment?
SPEAKER_01We have one tree that is just beautiful, it's more of a decorator tree, right? So that's one tree that we have. I have another tree that has just berries and pine cones on a flock tree. Super simple. Yeah, but the pine cones come out of my yard, the berries are yep, so it's just, and then the other one is more sentimental. I wish I still did have those ornaments that my kids made, but I don't. And I think when I moved, uh they probably got through war, yeah, you know, or up north, you know, because I hate to say about mice get into things and yeah, they got ruined or something. But I do have sentimental ornaments on the tree now. I've um my friend Tim Farrell sends me an ornament every year, so I have those on there. I have friends who've made ornaments for me. I have some that were in memory of my mom and my dad and Gordon Brantley and you know, certain people who have passed that that every time I hang them, it's very traditional. Yes, it it makes you smile or cry or something. Any of those things. Yeah, yeah. How about you, Lori?
SPEAKER_02I am very traditional, but I am not. My kids won't tell you. I don't like I have a lot of the things they've made for me. Okay, but I used to, I would have two trees, one when we lived one like in the basement in the kids' game room, and I had all of that crap on it. And I let them decorate it however they wanted, it had the colored lights, it was you know, it was great. But my tree is all of my ornaments that pretty much from the first year I got married, there which has been 30 years that I have acquired. And what I love, this is my favorite thing at Christmas, is unwrapping all of those ornaments and remembering exactly who gave me this one and and the memory of that person. A lot of them aren't here anymore, right? Um, and and hanging them, and they're all glass, like nice, they're not, you know, they're all glass ornaments or something, so they're all shiny all over. And and so I love Christmas ornaments. I don't know if you even knew that about me. I love to receive pretty Christmas ornaments from people because it they then become part of my story, they become part of my tree forever. So I love that. I always thought I want to do one of those cool pen trees, like you were saying, that are just sort of like I would love to have a pink tree, or you know, all and have somebody like, but that's that's not my stuff. That's you know what I mean. That's not my stuff. I it is there is something almost therapeutic.
SPEAKER_01Do you think it would be good for you to write down, take a little picture of that ornament, write it down? Yeah, would Bailey be somebody or Davis that would live. Bailey is already the story behind it. Because I hate to say it, Lori, but someday you're gonna forget.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02No, I you're absolutely right. Like, I have this beautiful glass, it's a um Christopher Radko, heart shape of the American flag that one of my dearest friends when I lived in Ohio, um, she gave to us right after 9-11. That was our Christmas gift, and I always put and it gets me all emotional. I don't know because that was just such a time, right? Yeah, I mean, right, such a time, and it's doesn't it's red, white, and blue, like it doesn't go with the Christmas, but it's at the center of my treat every year because I just love it. The meaning, it's all about the meaning, it's the meaning, and I mean, and that's just an example. I have things on there, like there's some cute glass chili peppers that were given to my youngest child because he loved spicy dip, which was salsa when he was little. So his little best friend Claire gave him these. I love them, they're so cute, and they're glass. I mean, there's and so I love the story behind all the trees, you know. Me, I gotta have a story behind it, or it means nothing to me.
SPEAKER_01No, I it that's why I'm saying you probably should write them.
SPEAKER_02No, that's a really good idea. I should document some of those. Do you remember? Did your grandma or your mom have any of those? It was like these little, it almost looked like a mini merry-go-round, but it had a thing in the middle, and the light, the heat from the light would make it spin.
SPEAKER_01My grandmother used to have those. I wish I still had those, but I have two of them left.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I think they came from my great-aunt Ola, then to my mother, and then my sister and I got them.
SPEAKER_01You put them on the light, the bulb, and then they would start to spin because of the heat. Yeah, oh my gosh, it's pink, of course, two pink ones.
SPEAKER_02And I was like, God.
SPEAKER_01Do they work on those new kind of lights?
SPEAKER_02I don't, I don't, you know what? I don't know. I don't know if they actually spin on those new lights. I I love all the vintage old trees, and and like Mark's mother gave Bailey last year. We went up in her attic and found these blue and pink Christmas balls, glass balls with sparkle back, you know, because she had the foil tree. She had all of the stuff back in the 70s, and Bailey was just in heaven. Oh, that's oh my gosh, this is great!
SPEAKER_01You know, so you passed on the tradition of loving Christmas ornaments to your daughter. Yes, there's a tradition right there.
SPEAKER_02No, you're right. Yeah, I think she she likes that too, if if it's got some history behind it. Um so anyway, that's my that's my story on Christmas ornaments.
SPEAKER_01Love that. Well, the other big tradition is like an advent calendar, you know, like the countdown to Christmas in one way or another. I used to buy the little chocolate ones that you open the door and the kids chocolate. So that um Tyler Hansen, who's here at the house, he has one with hot sauce, you know. So I've seen those.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Trader Joe's has one for your dog. Yes, that's right. And then, of course, Countdown is the elf on the shelf.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and see, my kids were too old for elf on the shelf, so we dodged that bullet.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's interesting because I was looking at that because we didn't do it for our kids either. And it said since 2005, that's when it's been doing it when um there was a book published. Yeah, it was called a book, a Christmas tradition, and that's what started it, and that was in 2005. Yeah, and I don't since then more than 13 million elves have been adopted.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, wow, it must have taken a while to get to Ohio because my youngest would have been four at that time, and we were not aware of the elf on the shelf. We were aware of the pickle, but we were not aware of the elf on the shelf. Interesting. Yeah, which I'm kind of glad because man, I've seen some hilarious TikToks about moms and dads forgetting it, and it just so much pressure, so much pressure, way too much pressure for me. It's it's hard enough to be, you know, help out the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy. I don't know that I could help out the elf on the shelf.
SPEAKER_01So but they're great countdowns to Christmas. I think that's the whole idea. You know, whether you're doing an advent calendar for your dog or for you, or the elf on the shelf, just some kind of countdown, I think, is always fun. And what about the tradition of the ugly Christmas sweater? Have you ever been part of that?
SPEAKER_02Yes, many times when I taught school, that is one of the biggest highlights of a middle schooler's year, is the ugly Christmas sweater day, you know, the countdown to Christmas that week, which is the most pointless week academically you could ever have. But every day is a different theme. The ugly Christmas sweater. I remember one year I made one. I had a I got one of Mark's old, I think it was like just a red sweater that I knew he didn't wear anymore. I literally had lights on it. I strung Christmas lights on it. I did tensile, I did the whole thing. I had a battery pack, I went all out. Oh my gosh. Did your class go crazy? Oh, they loved it because I would go, watch you guys, and I turn off the the lights in my classroom and I would just blink. They're like, wow, Mrs.
SPEAKER_01Wilson, that's so cool. I'm like, I know. So I would have to say that not only the kids didn't learn that week, you didn't want to teach anything that we're gonna do.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, that was the most pointless week.
SPEAKER_02But it's fun, it's I I love being around kids, even though they're so hyper at that moment. But if you can organize that chaos a little bit, that's right up my alley. They're my people.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, I think the other thing that we have to be mindful of at Christmas is there's a lot of people that it's like a bah humbug. I mean, bah humbug started with a Christmas carol, you know, long time ago in that story or the movie that we see now. But it's it Christmas can be hard. Christmas, there's the holidays all through from Thanksgiving on. If you've lost someone or if you know you're going through a tough time in your life, boy, those can be really tough. And we really want to be mindful of that too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it it is hard. And I think, you know, even there are so many people going through whatever their unknown is, thinking they had a handle on what was coming next, and now they don't. And that that's kind of a hard season to be in, especially because Christmas, you want to buy presents for everybody and you want to be able to and they're like, oh, is can you balance that? You know, whether it's a financial issue, whether it's a family politics issue, and your family is not speaking for whatever maybe stupid reasons, but whatever they're not, you know, all of this stuff.
SPEAKER_01Relationships, you know, you're a relationship that's gone. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02The one thing I was, I think I told you this yesterday when I was in my midst of sadness, having my meltdown. So of course I have to make you feel bad and wallowing it with me. But, you know, the podcast where I interviewed my friend Mindy on grief, and she has I mean, she has a book, she's a public speaker, she does a um phenomenal company online course called Healing in the Workplace for corporations, businesses have had crisis, whether maybe the boss died or somebody, you know, and how to deal with the grief part. But the one thing she has always said to me, and she said this the first time I was coming around, the first Christmas without my mom, and she said, It seems to me that it is always harder and more sad leading up to the anniversary of that day. She said, for some reason, just maybe it's the expectation of knowing, oh, that's gonna be a hot, tough day. That's gonna, you know, maybe it whether whether it's the first Christmas or the first birthday or the first whatever. But she said it always seems to be harder that we and then that the day of maybe you're a little bit more okay because you've already done all this pre-grieving. Right. And so the first time she said that, I thought that was very curious. That didn't make sense to me until I went through it. Yeah, and for me, that's very true. Leading up to these holidays, that seems to be those weeks leading up, make it more of a struggle for me emotionally. So I just I don't know. I think it's interesting for people to be self-aware. If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, is it's first of all, grieve. You have every right.
SPEAKER_01It's okay.
SPEAKER_02It's I don't care if it's been one year or 20 years, you have every right, and and grief doesn't ever go away. Um, but see if your grief, you know, if you have those moments of grief that seem to be deeper than average earlier, prior to it, or the day of, or after. Once I realize that part, I I can manage my own expectations in a way. Almost tell myself, okay, so I'm getting this, I'm getting all these tears and gut-wrenching heartache out now. Yeah, Christmas Day should be awesome. Great. So um, anyway, I I just think that's it's fascinating. I love that she studies grief, yeah, yeah. And and she makes it an acceptable word to use because a lot of people are afraid of the word or feel like I've I've set my limit, it's been too long, I can't grieve anymore. That's that's not real. As long as you loved, you're gonna grieve. Yeah, you know, so it can be hard. My advice is to the advice you gave me, journal it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's a really good idea. When you were telling me that it was before, I'm like, gosh, if you would write it down, then like you said, next year I would know, oh, you know, five days before Thanksgiving, five days before whatever the date of the death, I really started feeling really sad. The grief was hitting me, or I felt like I was depressed.
SPEAKER_02Or anxious, like your anxiety gets heightened. And that was one I didn't equate with grief until Mindy said, Oh no, sister, that's grief. Wow, because I'm like, I'm just I'm like anxious. Like my I didn't know that, and I was so grateful that someone came alongside me and called it by name so I can breathe and kind of give myself a little grace. When oh, that's why I have that.
SPEAKER_01I'm not weird, I'm just sad. I like that. Give yourself a little grace because that's what you have to do. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02One year, this was probably I don't know, eight years ago. I still lived in Ohio and I didn't know what to get my mom for Christmas. And as you know, she only liked homemade gifts. She loved homemade gifts, as we all, all of us mamas do. But anyway, I sat down at my computer and I just started typing out a poem called Christmas Memories, and it was a four-page poem about all of my memories of my childhood, the funny and the sad. Anyway, I remember putting that in the mail and kind of feeling bad because like I didn't really know what else to get her, you know. But I had it printed out on pretty paper and I put it in the mail because I wasn't gonna see her uh because I was in Ohio, she was in Oklahoma. Anyway, till the day she died, she will say that's the best gift she ever ever received. And she would always make my dad read it because none of us could read it without crying. It was just it was it's it's pretty, and and I have a copy of it, and I try to read it every year, and I didn't even realize all that was in me, but it was one of the most therapeutic things I've ever done.
SPEAKER_01So, anybody listening who wants something special for their parents or for a loved one, that's the perfect gift, and you still have time to do it.
SPEAKER_02Yep. Um, yeah, you do, you do, and my gosh, now you can just email it. My parents didn't have email.
SPEAKER_01No, you don't, you can't email it. You need to print it. I mean, you could email it now, but a printed copy at this point would be even that much more special, I think. Let's wind it up here, Lori, and just tell everybody Merry Christmas, happy holidays. Have a blessed time with your family and friends.
SPEAKER_02With your family, your loved ones. And for some people, your family is your flesh and blood, others are your friends. And you know what? We're all God's children. So that's all that matters, right? Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you enjoyed spending time with us because we enjoy spending time with you. If you did, make sure you hit that subscribe button or add the business and pleasure of flowers to your Google morning routine or your flash briefing on Alexa.
SPEAKER_01We look forward to seeing you next week. So please come back and join us and discover how a bit of knowledge and one small change in your mindset can take you to new levels in your life and business.