060 Stress can feel like this insurmountable thing that is beyond your control - BUT IT'S NOT! I've helped hundreds of clients and students learn how to manage their stress and I'm sharing three simple 'go-to' steps that you can take TODAY to start to take back control over your stress.
More info <<HERE>>
060 Stress can feel like this insurmountable thing that is beyond your control - BUT IT'S NOT! I've helped hundreds of clients and students learn how to manage their stress and I'm sharing three simple 'go-to' steps that you can take TODAY to start to take back control over your stress.
More info <<HERE>>
Hello, and welcome to the healthy, happy and mostly sane entrepreneur podcast. I'm your host national board certified health and wellness coach and Ayurvedic practitioner, and mostly sane entrepreneur Ellen Leonard. Each week, I share my obsession with helping you build a healthy life that works for you, your family, and your business. Because I don't think you have to sacrifice your own health and well being to be successful. So please stay tuned. For today's episode full of ideas to make staying healthy just a little bit easier. Don't forget to hit subscribe, so you don't miss out on future episodes. And speaking of staying healthy, happy and mostly sane, and today, shownotes, you'll find a link to a freebie just for you. 24 ways to stress less, that's right click on that, download your free 24 ways to stress less. I have been a stress management consultant and coach for over seven years now helping hundreds of clients and students figure out how to manage their stress. And so I took my 24 best steps and loaded them into a guide just for you to get you started and help you start to manage stress. And in addition to those 24 ways to stress less, today's episode will offer you three steps to take back control over stress. So one of the things I've noticed again and again with clients and students is that we can feel so powerless against stress, it can feel like this giant, insurmountable thing that we really can't do anything about. But in today's episode, I'm going to give you three steps that can help you quickly take back that feeling of control and power over your stress. As always, the shownotes will be filled with a links of everything that I talked about. So if you're on a walk or in the car, I've got you covered. Let's get started. So one of the biggest mistakes that I see my clients and students make when approaching their stress management is not being super specific about what it is that is stressing them out. And what do I mean by that? It's really quite simple, but unfortunately requires a little bit of effort on your part. But here we go. So step number one on how to take back control is to be super specific about what stresses you out. Now I'm going to use an example from my own life for this one and this process, this three step process that we're going through, to demonstrate how effective this can be. So if you don't already know, for, I think eight years now I've been associate faculty at a university teaching undergrads a variety of things. I started off teaching yoga, and then I got into stress management, intervention, and applied wellness, coaching and motivational interviewing. And I love teaching. I love it so much. I love helping students learn and grow. And I especially love the topics that I get to teach, right, these things that are not only interesting, but they're incredibly useful, especially that stress management and prevention course. Because, you know, students, so often have never been taught those skills, right. As adults, we're still trying to learn them. And what an amazing opportunity to share these techniques and topics and theories that I am an expert in with students. And so I love this work so much. But I was noticing that on Sunday nights, I was getting super stressed out, I was feeling a lot of anxiety, I was having trouble sleeping. And that was because on Sunday nights, my students turn in their homework. And I was wondering why I was killing this way. And this is where we get into why it's important to name, your stress with specificity. Because I could have been very reductive in this approach and very broad and simply said, teaching stresses me out,
Unknown:or work
Ellen Leonard:stresses me out. But that's not true at all. Teaching lights me up working with students lights me up. I love these things. I love helping them. And so that story wasn't ringing true. And when I got down into really thinking about what specifically was stressing me out It turns out, it was students who were either not turning in assignments or missing points on assignments. And it was really bothering me. And when I named it that specifically, when I didn't even just broadly say, students, or students who don't do stuff, because that's not true. That's not what was stressing me out, it's when they miss points, or they miss assignments, I get really worried about them and their grades. And so when I was able to name it, that specifically gave me a little bit of power and control back. Because that specific issue me worrying about that, and stressing about that, that gives me the ability to take action, that gives me the ability to do something about it. I can't do something about this feeling that teaching stresses me out. And again, that turned out not to be true. But when I was looking at my stress in this big way, this insurmountable thing that I might not be able to overcome, that was just controlling me. That's how kind of how I was thinking work is stressing me out, oh, work stresses me out. But when I was able to get super specific about this one thing that gave me the power and control back. So even just taking that small step already makes me feel better. Because remember, from past episodes, where I've talked about stress, anytime you feel as though you have more control over a situation, even if it's not true, you start to manage your stress, you start to reduce the impact it has on you. And that can be incredibly powerful with even this first small step. The next step I'd like for you to consider is to determine why it's stressing you out. So now that you've really drilled down on what specifically is adding stress, begin to consider why. And so it could have been so easy for me to think something very reductive about students or their work or anything else in this incident, specific situation that was stressing me out. But when I got down to it, I came back to what I love about teaching. And when students Miss points or miss assignments, that stresses me out, because here's my why. Because I want them to do well, I want them to be successful, not only because I want them to have those things, I want them to get good grades, I want them to fulfill these things that they're clearly capable of, they're capable of doing these assignments. I know they are, I believe in them so much. And I know that grades affect them greatly. And so I want them to be successful. But even more than that, I'm so passionate about helping them manage their stress, right? I'm so passionate about helping them learn how to coach as a health and wellness coach. I'm so excited for them to learn these things. And I know that if they miss an assignment, that then they've missed that opportunity. If they miss points, then they maybe missed something or didn't understand something as much as I would love for them to. And so when I came back to my why it really shifted how I was thinking about the stress
Unknown:overall.
Ellen Leonard:Right? Because when I connect back to this idea of what I value about what I'm doing what's important to me, the outcomes I'm looking for, when I connect back to the why that can be incredibly powerful. And even right now as I'm talking about it, even though this is years ago that I did this process and have have been using these techniques to manage this specific stressor, it no longer stresses me out. It's under control. Now I've taken back control over it. But even now talking about it as I talk about my glove of what I get to do, the passion that I have for it, the transformation that it offers. When I connect back to that why that softens my shoulders, even today. It helps me relieve stress, even in this moment. And so think about how that could work for you. When you name your specific stressor. And you come back to the why. Like, why are you stressed when clients don't complete their goals? Well, it's because you want them to be successful. You know, and I work with my students all the time on. Why are they so strong? about school. And so often, it's because they want to be successful. They are on a career path that they're excited about. And they really want to be successful. And so I use this exercise, of course, with the students and clients all the time. And it can just be so nice to connect back to that why. And so even in these first two steps, the being specific, and the connecting to your why, why it's stressing you out, those two steps alone, give you control back over your stressor. without you even having to do anything more, they are small ways that you can start to really take back control over your stress and start to manage and relieve that
Unknown:stress.
Ellen Leonard:And the third step, and these don't necessarily have to go in order and every situation is different, it's important to remember that. The third step is to think about how the stress affects you. So in my example, I listed that I was having trouble sleeping, I felt anxious, I was maybe a little more easy to frustration, the next day, when I was grading a little more quicker to anger, I really wasn't showing up as the best version of myself. But noticing how stress affects you and how specific stresses affect you. So you know, when your kids aren't cleaning their room, they aren't going to, to bed as quickly as you'd like, that might cause different effects physically, mentally and emotionally than say, when your computer breaks or the internet doesn't work. Or when somebody makes a mistake, or, you know, all these different situations affect us all in different ways. And that's so important to recognize. And so when you start to notice some of the impacts in your life that might be caused by stress, that can be an incredibly powerful tool. because number one, it allows you in that moment to be like,
Unknown:Oh,
Ellen Leonard:well, something here is bothering me. And I want to do something about it. But number two, if it keeps happening again, and again, and again, if you keep grinding your teeth again, and again. And again, if you keep having an upset stomach again, and again. And again, those things can take a toll on you, the chronic nature of them can take a toll on you. And so when you start to notice the ways in which stress is impacting you, especially if you can get super specific, like we did with number one, like what is stressing me out, if you can identify the different ways in which different things stress you out, that can give you more power, as well. And stress might be affecting you in ways you never realized it was. So every semester. In my stress management intervention class, students take a stress symptoms assessment, where they look through a list of stuff. And check off if those things happen to them. And I do the same with my stress management clients. But they get to think about, well, am I having some physical issues or mental issues or emotional issues that might be caused by stress, because they might not be, but they might be. And it's a really interesting way to approach some of the things that might be going on in your life. And so some examples of the physical ways that stress might be affecting you. So you know, upset stomach, you can have digestion issues related to stress, headaches, tension and strain in your neck and back. And those are just some of the ways not sleeping, that's another one. And then some of the mental ways that stress can affect you. Brain fog is really common, right? When you can't quite wrap your brain around things or have trouble thinking clearly, or the opposite the the racing brain when there's too many thoughts inside your head. Both of those might be related to stress. And that emotions, emotions, common distress or frustration, anger, anxiety, depression, all of these emotions might be related to stress. Of course, sometimes they're just a natural reaction to what's going on around you and they're just information they're not right or wrong. And none of these things are right or wrong. And that's so important to recognize that everybody is experiencing stress in some way. And it's always different for every person. And that's okay. Because we're all different. So never judging yourself against somebody else's experience, oh, why doesn't this bother her? Or why doesn't that get to her, or I should be stronger than this, I should be better than that. Just knowing that we're all experiencing stress, and it's affecting us all differently, and we all have different ways that we're going to deal with it, that will work for us. And if you'd like to dive deeper into this third step, this third way of thinking about stress as to how it affects you physically, mentally, and emotionally, be sure to check out episodes two through four of this Podcast, where each episode is a deep dive into each one. One episode was about how it affects you physically, one episode mentally one episode emotionally. So you can really get in there and think about these things and start to work on them in your own way. So you can start to take back control over your stress. And so these three steps can be done in any order that works for you. Or just do one of them. Even just one of them can help to give you back control over your stress can help you to manage it. Anytime you are building awareness around what stresses you out, why it stresses you out, and how it affects you. You are taking back power over your stress, you're taking back control. And that awareness can become a habit. And what do I mean by that? I mean that the more you do it, the easier it becomes. So much so that in my own life, I almost immediately recognize the signs and symptoms of when I'm experiencing physical, mental and emotional stress. I am like, Oh, well, that's happening. Let's think about that for a moment. And so many times, I can manage my stress in real time. So that it doesn't have lasting impacts. I stopped that stress cycle as quickly as I can. And so the more you practice this, the more you cultivate this awareness in your own life and your daily day to day life, the less stress you'll have, because you'll be able to use that awareness to take action. And so today's action step is to pick one of the steps that I listed, and try it out this week. Or today. When you experience stress, and you're like, Oh, I'm so stressed. Take a moment and dive a little bit deeper. What specifically is stressing you out? Why is it bothering you? And how is it affecting you? Just those small steps can help you to lessen the stress in your life. And that's always, always my wish for you to help you thrive in your life and your business is to help keep you healthy, happy and sane. And that's it for today's episode short and sweet. to just get you going on managing your stress to help you take back control. And don't forget to download those 24 ways to help you stress loss right now. The links will be in the show notes. And don't forget to check out episodes two through four of this podcast if you want to dive deeper into how stress might be affecting you. Thank you so much for being here today. I'm really glad you're here and I hope you found it useful and supportive. I wish you a healthy, happy and mostly sane week and I'll see you next time