E268: Dr. Adi Jaffe: Getting Better Is the Goal Artwork

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The Sober Friends Podcast: Two Guys Talking Recovery

Matt and Steve have been sober for over a decade each. They still don't have it all figured out.

This is a podcast about recovery - AA recovery specifically - but it's not your sponsor's recovery podcast. It's two friends talking through the stuff that actually matters:

What do you DO when you're not drinking? How do you handle control issues 15 years in? Why does calling someone in recovery feel so goddamn hard? What happens when you remove alcohol but don't replace it with anything? And seriously, do you miss drinking or do you just miss the relief?

Every week Matt and Steve work through these questions together - sometimes they have answers, sometimes they're figuring it out in real time, and sometimes they just need to talk it out like you do with a friend who gets it.

If you're in recovery, thinking about recovery, or just trying to figure out how to live without alcohol as your coping mechanism - welcome. Grab some coffee. Let's talk.

Topics: Alcoholics Anonymous, 12-step recovery, sobriety, addiction, relapse, service work, early recovery, staying sober, and everything in between.

Matt and Steve work AA programs but speak only for themselves. This show isn't affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous.

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Sober Friends

E268: Dr. Adi Jaffe: Getting Better Is the Goal

March 24, 2026 • Matt J, Dr. Adi Jaffe • Episode 268

0:00 | 49:06

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What does recovery actually mean? If you've ever measured your sobriety by days and wondered if there was more to it than that, this episode is for you.

Matt sits down with Dr. Adi Jaffe — psychologist, neuroscientist, UCLA researcher, and author of The Abstinence Myth and Unhooked — for one of the most honest and wide-ranging conversations Sober Friends has ever had. Dr. Jaffe went from meth-addicted drug dealer with nine felonies to earning his PhD and building one of the most forward-thinking recovery programs available today. He knows what it feels like to be on both sides of this.

This episode challenges some assumptions — including a few of Matt's own. They dig into why black-and-white thinking keeps people stuck, why shame is more dangerous than the substance itself, why the label "alcoholic" helps some people and hurts others, and why stopping drinking is not the same thing as getting better. They also find more common ground between Dr. Jaffe's approach and AA than you might expect.

Whether you're in AA, tried AA and it didn't stick, or are just trying to figure out what recovery looks like for you — this one is worth your time.

Find Dr. Adi Jaffe: Website: https://www.adijaffe.com The Abstinence Myth: http://www.theabstinencemyth.com Unhooked: https://www.readunhooked.com IGNTD Recovery Program: https://www.igntd.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dradijaffe Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dradijaffe LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dradijaffe

Find Sober Friends: Website: https://www.soberfriendspod.com Email: matt@soberfriendspod.com

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