Win Over Depression -A Podcast about how #MentalWellness #self-care #blackmentalhealth

EPISODE #169- You Are Not Your DEPRESSION

• Tamera C. Trotter • Season 12 • Episode 12

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to when Over Depression. I am your host, tamara Trotter. This podcast is dedicated to all of those who suffer with a mental illness and are trying desperately to live better. It is also dedicated to all those family members who are trying to better understand their loved ones who suffer with a mental illness. This podcast will also help you to learn how to thrive anyway, despite your mental illness, because you are not your mental illness and you can feel better. I am a living testimony, someone who has lived with depression for most of my adult life. However, when I decided to become proactive in dealing with my own mental illness dealing with my own mental illness I learned how I could live better by coming up with many techniques that would encourage me to push through the pain on my hardest days, and because of that, I've been able to host this podcast every Friday when Over Depression. Hang on for just a moment, and I'll be back with another episode of when Over Depression.

Speaker 1:

Today's topic is on grace, and so what is grace? Grace is something that we extend to individuals who are dealing with something in their lives that we may have no idea is happening. It is giving someone the benefit of the doubt. It is giving an opportunity to ourselves and to other people to not be so hard on ourselves, to not have so many high expectations that when we don't meet them, we just want to wallow in despair. In the last three years, this country has been turned upside down. People have been dying due to COVID and other reasons, and we have fought many symptoms in our lives that are indicative of the pain and suffering and the trauma that we have experienced because of what is going on in the world around us. Who is it that you may need to extend some grace to? You probably need to start with yourself some grace to. You probably need to start with yourself. Maybe you are too hard on yourself and when you don't meet all of the standards that you set for yourself, you feel as if you are failing. But the truth is, if you are making some progress, if you are doing some things differently, the small, little incremental change and the opportunity that you see yourself in moving forward. You need to celebrate even the smallest wins, because the smallest wins will continue to grow and grow as long as you take a moment and recognize your areas of growth and development.

Speaker 1:

I really encourage those who are listening to this podcast. Are there people who have made changes in their life that you have not given them credit for? Do you realize that when you take the time to appreciate and encourage someone, that it builds their self-esteem, it lets them know that you do care and it helps them to continue making better choices? So who is it that you may need to apologize to, or who is it that you may need to sit down and have a difficult conversation with and let them know that you do believe in them, that you feel as though they can get over this hump, they can dig themselves out of this deep ditch that they have found themselves in. But would you partner with them one more time so that they still know that you love and believe in them? When we extend people grace other people in situations and times and circumstances when we need to have grace extended to us, we will have that opportunity as well, because whatever we do in our lives, the little compassion that we show to others, oftentimes it is repaid back to you tenfold. So what can you do this week to extend some grace to another person? As we continue to talk more about our topic this week on grace, I am pleased that we will be celebrating our 80th episode next Friday.

Speaker 1:

As I was looking over many of the episodes that I have presented to you in the past, I couldn't help but look at the different topics Keep going, resiliency, understanding capacity, how to show gratitude, pushing ourselves every single day. Pushing ourselves every single day Six lies. Your depressed mind tells you Five reasons to change, due to inspiration or desperation, and I was just pondering how much it takes to overcome a mental illness, and that's another reason why we should all be giving ourselves grace. There is so much that has to be done every single day in order for us to continue surviving, and it really isn't fair. Life is a lot of times isn't fair, and there are so many difficulties and challenges that we face in our lives that we can become tired and just don't want to keep going. And I get it, I completely understand, especially if you feel as though, if you continue to keep going, nothing will change.

Speaker 1:

So then, what would be a reason to keep going? And the reason for me and I'll say a reason that you might consider is that there's always hope. There's always hope for a better tomorrow, but the reality is many of us need to do something different in order for that reality to not only permeate our individual lives but impact the lives of people around the world. And it's a tough chore. It is something that is very huge and can be or feel like it's insurmountable, and I understand that that is why people give up and they quit, and so I know that when I say giving up is never an option, that it's easier said than done, because there just seems to be much more to give up on than to fight for.

Speaker 1:

So I want you to just take yourself back to a time in your life when things were going much better for you. Maybe you had a job that you enjoyed. Maybe you lived in a different location. Maybe you had to move away and you were sad because some friends you had to leave behind. Maybe that is what affected your health and your mental health and you started having challenges with depression. I know I get it, and so when I was thinking about this episode on grace, I was thinking that, yes, we need to extend grace to ourselves. We need to appreciate and show gratitude for the things that we have, but it isn't always easy, especially when we may be around people who are constantly spreading their venom, whether it's being hateful, or just being the type of person who just complains all the time, and oftentimes we don't have control over our current circumstances or where we find ourselves, even where we live or what we have access to.

Speaker 1:

So it can be a tall order some of the things that I've been sharing for you to take on, but I want you to think about your life and your purpose and just ask yourself the question about whether or not you are living up to and fulfilling your true purpose on the earth, and we all have a purpose. We may not have yet identified it, but there is absolutely a reason for your existence, so I challenge you to figure out. Why are you here on this earth? What assignments have you been given? I'd like for you to start to write down what you think your purpose is and on July 1st, when, over depression, we'll be introducing a journal a journal for purchase that you can use in order to complete many of the homework assignments that I have given, as well as a few nuggets to help you better understand your symptoms and what you are doing, that is working and what you may need to add.

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I wanted to also give you another pointer on what you can do, especially when you're home, in order to feel better. And what I'd like for you to do is turn on every single light in your house, every single light, turn it on and leave it on for 45 minutes. Turn it on and leave it on for 45 minutes and while the light is on, I'd like for you to just walk around, take note of the different types of lights. You have the brightness, and I want you to just focus on becoming a bright light in your family and a bright light for yourself. Leave it on for 45 minutes so that you will be able to actually feel better about your circumstances. Whenever we can provide light to a situation, we have the ability to improve that situation. So leave them on for that time frame and then turn them off. And, if you have the opportunity, every 72 hours, turn on all the lights in your house for 45 minutes, because you are working toward letting your light shine and becoming a brighter light for yourself and for your family. This is another way to help you get there.

Speaker 1:

So, as we wrap up this episode about grace, I want you to write down all of the small incremental changes and improvements that you have made. Whether it is yes, I have consistently in the last month, accomplished at least two goals every single day. I commend you. If you have been getting the 15 minutes of sunlight every single day, give yourself some credit. If you have gotten back in touch with a friend that you have not spoken to in quite a while, give yourself a point. If you have listened to some music or watched a movie that brings you joy, give yourself a point. What I want you to see is that all of these steps that you're taking to get you back on track and to feeling better, all of these steps are helping your mental health.

Speaker 1:

Early on in one of my episodes, I talked about that there are foods that you can eat that help to improve your mental illness, and I will go over them again. The first food is almonds, the second food is avocados and the final food is salmon. And I also talked about how, if you can decrease your sugar intake by at least 50 percent, you will improve your mental health, because sugar perpetuates depression and it is not good for you to partake of. If you are willing to make some of these very easy changes, you are going to start to feel better and better and eventually your symptoms will begin to subside. Stay encouraged, be of good courage, because you can get to the top of the mountain that you are climbing and I know that the mountain is high and it's rocky and it's unstable, but you will continue to climb because you have what it takes to take that next step.

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Even when you don't feel like you can, even when you don't feel like getting out of bed in the morning, you end up getting out of bed. That is progress. Even when you don't feel like going to work, but you get up and you get dressed and you get in your car and you drive to work. That is progress. I want you to celebrate the smallest increments of improvement that you make and, remember, give yourself grace, because you have a lot on your plate. There is a lot that is expected of you and you are still just one person, and if you do the very best that you can do as often as you can, then that is all that can be expected of you. Stop beating yourself up for not being able to achieve the lofty goals that you set for yourself. We have talked about smart goals, setting goals that are realistic, because when you set goals that you are most likely not to achieve, that is going to add to your depression. I have recently started coaching others in their quest to feel better quest to feel better.

Speaker 1:

However, I am not a mental health expert, which I've talked about in most of my episodes. However, if you would like to get in touch with me to talk about how I may help you, please send an email to Tamara T-A-M-E-R-A at win win over depression. Let's see if we can get together and put a plan in place just for you. I never want to end my podcast without thanking you so very much for listening. We continue to grow, we continue to move into different markets and we continue to improve our international reach. Thank you so much for all that you have offered Win Over Depression, for all of your emails and your well wishes. We appreciate everything that you continue to do.

Speaker 1:

If you would like to support this podcast and become a patron, go to wwwpatreoncom. Backslash, tamara Trotter. That's T-A-M-E-R-A last name T-R-O-T-T-E-R. You can find me on Pinterest at TT Mental Health Expert. Please consider going to my YouTube channel, also called Win Over Depression. But if you put in Tamara Trotter, you should be able to find it. Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel. Please also go to my Facebook group, also called Win Over Depression. You can also find me on Instagram, linkedin, twitter and Tumblr at Tamara Trotter.

Speaker 1:

If you are new to this podcast, I encourage you to go back and listen to five or 10 episodes to learn what we're all about and to learn how we can encourage you to defeat your mental illness and, if not defeated, definitely start to live better illness and, if not defeated, definitely start to live better. Please remember that when Over Depression is a non-profit organization and anything that you may donate is 100% tax exempt. Thank you so much for listening and I will see you next Friday when we will drop our 80th episode for win over depression. We will also be asking for $80 donations in support of our 80th episode, so stay tuned for the 80th episode that will come to you next Friday. Thank you so much. Take care.