Carving Your Own Path To Success W/ Tony Martignetti - 190

Pre-pandemic, many entrepreneurs and employees found themselves caught in a hamster wheel, always hustling and unable to think - time normally passed by so quickly. But post-pandemic, things seem to have slowed down, enough to let people reevaluate their situation. People have started to question their purpose.

And now, a lot of us are slowly realizing that the true measure of success is having that ability to carve your own path, figure out who you want to be, and know what you want to do to create real meaningful impact in this world.

Climbing the Right Mountain by Tony Martignetti aims to inspire people to do just that. Don't panic and have hope. You can and you will create meaningful impact by climbing the right mountain. As you're navigating through life, just remember to take action, and start to narrow your focus on the things that will help YOU feel fulfilled.

To reach Tony and learn more about his work, you can visit his website at https://www.inspiredpurposecoach.com or find him on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tonymarti...

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http://www.Boolkah.com

CONNECT WITH PETER BOOLKAH:
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ABOUT PETER BOOLKAH
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Peter Boolkah (AKA The Transition Guy) is the World’s #1 Business Transition Coach whose main passion in life is to work with talented and high performing business owners who are in the process of creating exciting, high growth businesses.

Peter helps you to navigate and transition through the crucial growth pains that all growing businesses experience making it as painless and exciting as possible.

It is important to remember that businesses do not just grow and develop on their own, it is up to us and our teams to make this happen by making every day purposeful.

As businesses grow some parts of the journey will be easier than others and most owners do not have all the answers. Starting a business is one of the most exciting things we get to do and we all have aspirations of achieving great things. In fact Peter is yet to meet someone who started a business with the intention of failing.

Peter’s ultimate life goal is to inspire and empower over 100,000 Entrepreneurs to create long term thriving businesses resulting in the creation of 1,000,000 jobs.

So if you are scaling up your business, you’re in a bu...

Transcript

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(tranquil music)- Hi, Peter Boolkah here, and welcome to today's edition of Transition Guy. Joining me in the studio today is Tony Martignetti author of the upcoming book Climbing the Right Mountain. Welcome Tony.- Thank you so much. I'm looking forward to being here and sharing my story. Thanks for having me, Peter.- Well I think it's interesting. Your story is an interesting thing, and one of the reasons why you happen to be on today's episode, because your book Climbing the Right Mountain. Tell us a little bit more about that.- Yeah, when I use this term Climbing the Right Mountain, it really is connected to this my own personal journey, but also what a lot of people would navigate through, which is, you know you spend a lot of time and effort on this path of creating what you want in your professional and personal life. Based on the ideals that a lot of people will set for you. Sometimes it's not your own path, but something that you expect people want for you. You get to this place where you say I've gotten to success, but it's not quite as you expected. And sometimes you have to sacrifice a lot to get there. Your health, your time with family, your friends, so many things and you may look around and say, gosh, it's not quite as great a view as I expected. So with the book, what I'm trying to do is helping people to say you know how can I plan a better path? Get on the right path. That allows me to see that if I have a perspective on a new way to climb, then I can have a more fulfilling path to fulfillment.- I think what's interesting is pre pandemic, is probably quite similar in the state as it is in the United Kingdom and many other countries around the world, there are people that are employed, even entrepreneurs actually they're on the hamster wheel and they're continuously grinding out. And the challenge with grinding out is you don't have time to think, and actually time passes you by ridiculously quickly. And before you realize it, that five, 10 years goes by. And as you say, you're getting towards the top of the mountain, but by the time you get there, that the view quite often sucks to be fair. Nothing what's happened with the pandemic. And I don't know how you've seen it, but the pandemic has slowed everything down. You haven't got the bus route of the commute. You've got time to think. And I think it's that time to think that it's now starting to get people to question their mountain. Would you set it as a fair reflection?- Absolutely. And I think that's a great thing for people to do because we need to take some time out of our lives to pause and really think what am I here for? What do I want? I don't want to experience in my life. And you know sometimes the things that we're stuck in, the patterns we're stuck in, they're not serving us. So taking a step back and asking those questions is important.- So apart from being really busy, like in a coat and a hamster wheel, why else do you think people fall into that trap?- Yeah well, there's an element of external views of what success looks like. And we have a barrage of influences coming at us, you know starting from the point where we have our parents and adults who come at us and say, oh, this is what you need to be successful. This is what it looks like. You should be a doctor, you should be a lawyer. You need to be a... You know, this, that, and the other thing.- Yeah I had that conversation when I was very young.(Tony laughs)- Yes, you have options. Easy options.- Yeah you've got three options, an accountant, a lawyer or a doctor, which one would you like?- Choose one, yes. You know, that societal definition of success is challenging because it says the person who says like well, maybe I want to choose a different path. Does that make me bad or flawed or not enough. And that's a problem. Because what happens is then we start to put ourselves into these boxes and say, well, I have to fit in one of these boxes. And then you go through your entire life navigating through a path that might not be your own. It's defined by some external view. And there's also the social media, which we all love. There is this view of, I need to have those things, these material views of success. And the reality is it comes down to figuring out what you want to experience. Who do you want to be? That really comes down to how you can navigate your path. How do you want to feel? What are the experiences that you wanna have in your life that can help you to shift out of that feeling of this hamster wheel that you're in?- Well, what's quite interesting is probably the majority of people we are speaking about right now, is probably the gen X generation. They're also, early 40's to mid 50's, that probably grew up in the industrial age society, where actually you got a job and you're grateful you had a job.- Exactly.- And you're actually taught during that whole generational thinking grind out.- Yeah.- And that's exactly what people did. They just grind, they've been grinding out. I suppose one of the big challenges you probably face is that grind out leads to burnout.- You have it right there, right on the money. You know if I were to kind of come back to my own experience, this is why I decided that this was my path too. Is I had that experience. You know, I was externally viewed as success and internally I was dying inside. I felt empty, I had burnout, I was depressed. And I came out of that and still kind of lived in the world that I was living in and figure it out, like how to come out of that. Ultimately, once I figured all that out, I decided how can I make an impact in other people's lives? How can I create something different in the way that other people navigate their path and find fulfillment. Because ultimately when it comes down to it, we all deserve to be happy. We all deserve to have a life that's filled with something more than just going to work, you know, check in, check out and then move on. We want to have something we can be proud of.- Well, I think the challenge a lot of people face and probably a lot of people listening will say, yeah, that's easy to say, but when you go to those, the pay, you can't be too picky. How'd you overcome that.- Yeah, well, there's an element of creating your dream while you're still in your day, your day to day work. It doesn't mean you throw everything out and start your next thing, hold on to reality while you're dreaming. And I think that's a good way to approach it. That's not what I did, but that's okay. I leaped before I had ground to step into. And that might be good for some people, but ultimately if you start to see yourself thinking, you know, I really wanna think about a new new path for me. I want to find more fulfilling work. How can I leverage that path? Well, keep your day job for now if you have one and maybe even if it means staying in your industry and doing something in another job in that industry. But start thinking about how you transfer it to something that's going to be more aligned with who you are, and who you want to be.- So what steps does someone have to go through to be able to make that transition? Because I can tell you there's gonna be tons of people thinking this stuff. They've probably been thinking this stuff for five to 10 years. But probably didn't have the courage to make it, or they've got the courage, but they don't have the support mechanism or framework to be the enabler to allow that transition.- Yeah or even worse. I'll say it this way too. There's probably a fair amount of people who feel like they're shackled to the benefits and the comfort of being in a corporate environment. I know a lot of executives who I coach, who feel like my gosh, if I just stick around a little longer, I get that, you know, the stock option is vast and this, that, and the other thing. And it's really unfortunate that's the way the things are because it's monetary.- And in all fairness, that's why these companies are smart. They call them the golden handcuffs for a reason. You are handcuffed and of course, they're not going to want to let that talent go. So how'd you help them transition.- Yeah, so the first question is what are you willing to tolerate around that. Is if you're willing to tolerate being miserable or being uncomfortable in a way that is not serving you, you know, continue on by all means. But if you're ready to leap into something that's gonna serve you better and give you more fulfillment, then it's time to start. You know, first of all I get people thinking about what it is in the past that has really created the strengths that have really made you who you are today. So it's about taking that inventory, looking back in that past and saying, what have I accumulated in this journey? People rarely see the strengths of who they are and we discount them all the time. Sometimes it's also looking at the wounds that we've experienced, the layoffs, the things that we've gotten (indistinct) that have really set us back, seemingly, look at those.- There's going to be a lot more of that happening right now in terms of layoffs. Because we've seen such generous government subsidies, the layoffs haven't even started, they're coming.- Yeah. And ultimately that is devastating. And there's no doubt about it, but at the same time most people who have gone through something like that, they always look back after a period of time and say, that was probably the best thing that could've happened to me, because now I know that I can do other things. I can create other things, I can be in another role that helps me to have a better experience. Very rarely do you say that, you know, hey, I really miss that job and you know this new job or whatever I'm doing now, is far less exciting than what I was doing before. You find a way past that experience. But it starts with reflecting on that past and moving forward from it. I always say that if you can transcend and include your past, then that's how you wanna move forward. You wanna make sure that you're not running away from it, but including it.- And you covered this in your book?- I do. And then once you get past that, you know, the past, then you know, you'd think you'd go to the present, but no, it's about the future. Then it's mapping out that what do you wanna see for your future? What do you want to experience? Who do you want to be? And when you think about that, it seems like, okay well, you know now I'm painting this picture. There might be this element of feeling as though God, it's a far away place, how do I get there? Well, you start to come from that place. You start to act and behave in a way that is that person. So I always use the analogy of like an athlete. If you say, I want to be a runner, I wanna be a marathon runner. Well, you say, how can I act now as if I'm a runner?- Yeah.- Well, what does a runner do? Well they run, they eat well, they don't eat junk food. They have a regimen, they are very disciplined. So those are the attributes of what a runner does. So if I want to be a runner, I have to act like that now, I have to come from that place of being that person. And so ultimately those are the things that flip the script and change your mindset towards that thing that you want in the future.- Okay, that makes absolute sense.- So it takes the future, it brings the present.- And how do you help? I mean what tools do you use to (indistinct). You've obviously got quite an extensive tools, haven't you?- Yeah, I mean, part of this is really getting people to expand their view of where they are right now. One of my favorite things to say to people, and it's been really helpful the past year. Is I always say you have to expand your vision and narrow your focus. And let me elaborate on that a little bit, which is to say that like, oftentimes people feel stuck because they're sitting there looking at like, this wall. You know, they're saying like, oh, I can't have that. I can't do that, that's not possible. We talked about being in a box earlier, oftentimes we say, you know, I was formerly a finance professional, finance and strategy professional. And I would say like, well, I'm a finance person. I can't do anything besides finance, or I'm not doing that anymore. I don't look at a lot of numbers these days. I had painted myself into that box. I was looking at the wall that says, this is who I am. Defined myself by that. But when I stepped away from that, I expanded my vision and saw new possibilities, new ways of looking at the world. And sometimes that can seem overwhelming. Cause you're like now I've got way too many things to think about. It's an amazing thing at first to see someone do that because their eyes get so wide and they're like, whoa, I hadn't realized that this was all at my fingertips. I didn't know that this is even possible, but it also is overwhelming. Now with all those insights, you'd have to narrow it down. Narrow your focus, so that you're executing on the things that are calling you to do next. And that might not be something that's like, okay, well, you know, I don't know what to choose. It may be that you just choose one, you just choose one path. There's nothing that is so definitive that you can't come back from it unless it's something that's fatal. You know there are certain things that should have a disclaimer here that says, there's a list of things you can do that it will not be able to come back from. But you know, for the most part you can take chances.- So what you do basically is you help overcome the limiting beliefs people have, but not only just overcome them, but manage them. Because as you say, you don't want them to go into overwhelm and then be paralyzed by overwhelm.- Yeah, and it actually touches a bit back to something I used to always say in my financial career too, which is about taking measured risk. You know, take risks, sure. But don't take risks they're gonna put you in a place where it's fatal. Take measured risks. Know what you're getting yourself into. But do it in a way that's almost like you're doing an experiment. You know all the factors around you that are part of that experiments. It's informed. And maybe there's an element of you've talked to a few people and you've had an understanding of like what they are telling you without being too attached to what they're saying. Just taking an informed educated risks.- Right.- Makes sense?- Yep, makes total sense. As we look at people right now, coming through the pandemic globally. We've actually had the biggest change we've probably experienced in probably two or three decades, if not more. And we're looking at new ways of living, new ways of working. What advice would you give to the audience today?- First of all don't panic (laughs). Have hope, because hope is the most important thing that we can have right now. If you lose hope, you lose everything. I always say that I'm a road weary optimist, because yeah, I've been through my fair amount of like challenges and trials and tribulations. And there's a lot of people who've been through far worse than what I had been through. And you have to have hope that there's... That things can get better and that you have control over a fair amount of those things. And it all starts with how you look at the world. So the starting point is that the next thing is... And I already kind of set it around control. What do I have control over? What do I have control over? If it's something you're worried about from a financial perspective, what can you do to shore that up in the the midterm, right now I should say. So you can ensure that you're not worried about that. And then start thinking about your long-term, which is to say, if I really want something in the world, if I want to create something for myself that I don't have right now, then I have to start setting that path towards that. If I don't, then it'll never happen. So what is the seed that I can plant today? As I often say, you know, write the Chinese proverb, you know the best time to plant a seed was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. And ultimately, you know people get really impatient because they want things now. We all do, this as a society today we're all very impatient. But I think what has to happen now is you have to get really patient. But we have to take action to be moving towards those things and be okay with the fact that it's not gonna have a return immediately.- Perfect. Now, if people want more information about you and how they can move forward, what do they need to do?- Oh, the best place to find me is to go to my website, which is inspiredpurposecoaching, sorry. inspiredpurposecoach.com. I always get that mixed up there (chuckles). And you can find information about me there and you can reach out to me on LinkedIn. That's my usual social media place. And I also have a podcast. So you can find the link to my podcast on my website, it's called the Virtual Campfire. And you can also find it on all the different platforms for a podcast.- Spotify, Deezer and all those Amazon Music.- You got it.- It's everywhere. And actually you've got quite few episodes. You've got over a hundred episodes now, haven't you?- Yeah. It's been an amazing journey. You know, for me it's been so beautiful to be able to share people's journeys of transformation. And if it helps one person, you know in terms of hearing the stories of these people have come through their own challenges and to be able to share that with the world, that's what I care about. It's not about the subscribers. It's about how one person could be transformed through that one story.- But the only way that transmission is going to happen, if you listen to the podcast.- Absolutely.- Well, this has been an absolute pleasure speaking with you today. Now, if anything resonates with you and you need more information, head over to peterboolkah.com and get in touch. If you love today's episode, please like it, share it and subscribe with others. And actually make sure that you do subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes. Tony, thank you for coming in today, has been a pleasure having you. And most importantly everyone remember failing to learn is learning to fail. Please stay safe.(soft music)