Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
These podcasts are a reflection of Ruth & David’s ongoing conversations, which are both intimate and professional and touch on complex topics like how systems fail victims and children, how victims experience those systems, and how children are impacted by those failures. Their discussions delve into how society views masculinity and violence and how intersectionalities such as cultural beliefs, religious beliefs and unique vulnerabilities impact how we respond to abuse and violence. These far-ranging discussions offer an insider look into how we navigate the world as professionals, as parents and as partners. During these podcasts, David & Ruth challenge the notions that keep all of us from moving forward collectively as systems, as cultures and as families into safety, nurturance and healing. Note: Some of the topics discussed in the episodes are deeply personal and sensitive, which may be difficult for some people. We occasionally use mature language. We often use gender pronouns like “he” when discussing perpetrators and “she” for victims. While both men and women can be abusive and controlling, and domestic abuse happens in straight and same-sex relationships, the most common situation when it comes to coercive control is a male perpetrator and a female victim. Men's abuse toward women is more closely associated with physical injury, fear and control. Similarly, very different expectations of men and women as parents and the focus of Safe & Together on children in the context of domestic abuse make it impossible to make generic references to gender when it comes to parenting. The Model, through its behavioral focus on patterns of behavior, is useful in identifying and responding to abuse in all situations, including same-sex couples and women's use of violence. We think our listeners are sophisticated enough to understand these distinctions.
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Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Season 3 Episode 8: Understanding Reproductive Coercion: An Interview with Dr. Heather McCauley
In this episode, David & Ruth continue their series on reproductive coercion as part of the cycle of intimate partner violence with an interview with Dr. Heather McCauley from the Michigan Consortium on Gender Based Violence MSU.
Dr. McCauley discusses the newest research on reproductive coercion, the correlations to intimate partner violence, unwanted pregnancy, STI & health issues.
- Reproductive coercion is a common part of perpetrator's patterns of coercive control, violence & abuse.
- Condom manipulation & pregnancy coercion are two common ways perpetrators entrap victims in relationships.
- Survivors who share children with a perpetrator are often unable to extricate themselves because of societal support, religious beliefs, gender biases & institutional support for the 'authority' of the perpetrator over their victims.
- Family court, criminal courts & our systems of care often blame women for having children with perpetrators.
- Pregnancy is assumed to be in the control of the survivor, even when domestic violence is known issue.
- Women in this situations can face tremendous judgement including being thought of as stupid, promiscuous , failing to understand the impact of domestic violence or choosing to continue a relationship with a perpetrator.
- These attitudes further entrap survivors, victimizing them & placing them child survivors in danger.
In this interview, David, Ruth & Dr. McCauley talk about topics like:
- How important it is to identify common acts of resistance to reproductive coercion so we accurately assess survivors protective and safety strategies.
- How resistance to reproductive coercion often elicits violence - as does any form of resistance to a perpetrator of intimate partner violence.
- How a lack of professional awareness of the patterns & strategies of reproductive coercion is a danger to survivors & their safety & wellbeing.
- How reproductive coercion is much like the war time strategy of rape to enforce compliance, to frighten & to control.
- The need for men to be part of the discussion around consent, family planning & reproductive health & the need for further engagement & accountability for perpetrators.
With some governments moving to remove reproductive rights, bodily self determination, access to abortion & birth control, it is vital to have a discussion of what reproductive coercion is, how it most often manifests as behaviors & what the impact is for survivors. Diving down into how reproductive coercion is supported by our societal attitudes, laws & institutional practices is key addressing the systemic nature of reproductive coercion.
The podcast also includes positive statements on the dignity & autonomy of women & speaks about the prevalence of attitudes which support & normalize reproductive coercion.
For more information on Dr. McCauley
Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real
Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."