Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
These podcasts are a reflection of Ruth & David’s ongoing conversations, which are both intimate and professional and touch on complex topics like how systems fail victims and children, how victims experience those systems, and how children are impacted by those failures. Their discussions delve into how society views masculinity and violence and how intersectionalities such as cultural beliefs, religious beliefs and unique vulnerabilities impact how we respond to abuse and violence. These far-ranging discussions offer an insider look into how we navigate the world as professionals, as parents and as partners. During these podcasts, David & Ruth challenge the notions that keep all of us from moving forward collectively as systems, as cultures and as families into safety, nurturance and healing. Note: Some of the topics discussed in the episodes are deeply personal and sensitive, which may be difficult for some people. We occasionally use mature language. We often use gender pronouns like “he” when discussing perpetrators and “she” for victims. While both men and women can be abusive and controlling, and domestic abuse happens in straight and same-sex relationships, the most common situation when it comes to coercive control is a male perpetrator and a female victim. Men's abuse toward women is more closely associated with physical injury, fear and control. Similarly, very different expectations of men and women as parents and the focus of Safe & Together on children in the context of domestic abuse make it impossible to make generic references to gender when it comes to parenting. The Model, through its behavioral focus on patterns of behavior, is useful in identifying and responding to abuse in all situations, including same-sex couples and women's use of violence. We think our listeners are sophisticated enough to understand these distinctions.
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Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Episode 10: Lived Experience Episode with Ryan Hart and the Y Change Team, Berry Street
Ruth & David talk to the Lived Experience Experts highlighted at our third Annual Asia Pacific Conference in partnership with Berry Street. We were honored to hear and reflect on the experiences and recommendations for systems change by the Y Change Experts from Berry Street. Their insights bring depth, context, and keep systems accountable to the reality that child victims of abuse need to be heard by systems in order for true nurturance and safety to be met.
Our Survivor Keynote speaker, Ryan Hart, speaks about his experiences of coercive control and how it impacted himself and his family. He creates insight and clarity around the harm that non battering forms of violence do to families and individuals and gives us perspective on how society is failing to recognize the dangers of coercive control. Ryan and Luke Hart are tireless advocates for systems to recognize coercive control as a serious and dangerous crime. Ryan and Luke lost their mother Claire and their sister Charlotte when their father chose to shoot and kill them after they fled coercive control.
You can learn more about Y Change at Berry Street by following this link: https://www.berrystreet.org.au/y-change
And Ryan and Luke Hart and their story can be found here: https://www.cocoawareness.co.uk/
We hope you enjoy this lived experience podcast. Safe & Together honors the experiences and reflections of victims and survivors and believes that true systems change can only happen when we honor their voices and their experiences are reflected back to help systems do better.
Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real
Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."