Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Partnered with a Survivor is a professional-focused podcast created and produced by Ruth Reymundo and hosted by the Safe & Together Institute. What began as intimate conversations between Ruth and David Mandel—founder of the Institute and creator of the Safe & Together Model—about violence, relationships, abuse, and the systems that respond to them has grown into a global conversation about systems and culture change.
Hosted by Ruth and co-hosted by David, the podcast features in-depth, professionally grounded discussions about how institutions respond to domestic abuse, gender-based violence, and child maltreatment. Many episodes also feature global leaders working across fields such as child safety, men and masculinity, perpetrator accountability, fatherhood, and partnering with survivors.
Together, these conversations examine how systems often fail adult and child survivors, how societal narratives about masculinity and violence shape professional practice, and how intersectional realities—including cultural and religious beliefs, racialised identities, LGBTQ+ experiences, immigration status, disability, and other structural vulnerabilities—shape responses to abuse and violence.
The podcast offers an insider lens into how professionals navigate systems not only as practitioners, but also as parents and partners. Through candid dialogue and critical reflection, Ruth and David challenge the assumptions and structures that limit meaningful accountability, safety, and healing. The goal is collective movement across systems, cultures, and families toward greater safety, nurturance, and sustained change.
Disclaimer: Episodes contain sensitive topics and occasional mature language that may be difficult for some listeners. The views and opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the Safe & Together Institute or its staff.
Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Season 1 Episode 11: Getting Inside the Mind of Men Who Use Violence
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
In this podcast, David and Ruth explore the psychology behind men who use violence and abuse. They examine how different forms of entitlement create justifications for coercive control and how the emotional driver behind abuse may not be anger but rather avoidance of feelings of fear and powerlessness.
The discussion covers several key factors that perpetuate abusive behavior: the perpetrator's refusal to accept responsibility for the damage they cause; how structural inequalities and cultural norms sustain patterns of abuse; and the complex role of substance abuse and mental health issues, which require treatment but should never excuse a perpetrator's choice to harm their partner, children, and family.
David also outlines how practitioners, family members, and friends can use this psychological profile to guide their interventions with perpetrators, offering practical approaches for addressing abusive behavior at its source.
Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real
Check out David Mandel's new book Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence.
Visit the Safe & Together Institute website.
Start taking Safe & Together Institute courses.
Check out Safe & Together Institute upcoming events.