Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
These podcasts are a reflection of Ruth & David’s ongoing conversations, which are both intimate and professional and touch on complex topics like how systems fail victims and children, how victims experience those systems, and how children are impacted by those failures. Their discussions delve into how society views masculinity and violence and how intersectionalities such as cultural beliefs, religious beliefs and unique vulnerabilities impact how we respond to abuse and violence. These far-ranging discussions offer an insider look into how we navigate the world as professionals, as parents and as partners. During these podcasts, David & Ruth challenge the notions that keep all of us from moving forward collectively as systems, as cultures and as families into safety, nurturance and healing. Note: Some of the topics discussed in the episodes are deeply personal and sensitive, which may be difficult for some people. We occasionally use mature language. We often use gender pronouns like “he” when discussing perpetrators and “she” for victims. While both men and women can be abusive and controlling, and domestic abuse happens in straight and same-sex relationships, the most common situation when it comes to coercive control is a male perpetrator and a female victim. Men's abuse toward women is more closely associated with physical injury, fear and control. Similarly, very different expectations of men and women as parents and the focus of Safe & Together on children in the context of domestic abuse make it impossible to make generic references to gender when it comes to parenting. The Model, through its behavioral focus on patterns of behavior, is useful in identifying and responding to abuse in all situations, including same-sex couples and women's use of violence. We think our listeners are sophisticated enough to understand these distinctions.
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Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Season 4 Episode 8: “Heart Healing”: An interview with Mibbinbah’s Lisa and Jack Bulman
In this episode, Ruth & David speak with Lisa & Jack Bulman of Mibbinbah Spirit Healing about their work in community to facilitate healing from intergenerational trauma, support healthy relationship connections and strengthen the wellbeing of Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander men and families. Mibbinbah uses a “whole of communities” approach which brings men & women together to heal in community. (From the Mibbinbah website: “The two words Mibbin meaning Men or Eagle and Bah meaning place come from the Eastern Yugambeh Language of South Eastern Queensland. Therefore placing the two words together gives us Eagle or Men’s place.”)
Jack & Lisa talk about the heart healing work they do within Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander communities to strengthen & support their families after generations of colonization which created family separation, violence & abuse.
In the interview the discussion touches on:
· Jack speaks about the origins of Mibbinbah Health in his need in University for a Safe Space for Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander men to connect, support & heal together.
· Jack describes the negative police response to Aboriginal men coming together to heal in nature & how that helped him further develop his work with community
· How Lisa and Jack see addressing violence as separate from men's business & women's business
· How Partnering is critical when it comes to work with community
· The importance of deep listening to healing and how this differs from prescriptive approaches to addressing trauma and violence.
· How healing and combating family violence is important to the work of decolonization
· The importance of self-responsibility for adopting behaviors which heal harm to self & community.
· The pitfalls and limitations of how men’s behavior change is currently understood as Individual and reductionist rather than as familial & communal.
The interview also includes Jack and Lisa speaking about concrete behaviors professionals can adopt to culturally safely & appropriately support Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander people in healing from family violence & the intergenerational impacts of ongoing colonization.
To listen to Jack and Lisa Bulman on the Mibbinbah podcast
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Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."
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