Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
This podcast is a series of conversations.
What started as a series of intimate conversations between Ruth and David that ranged from personal to professional experiences around violence, relationships, abuse, and system and professional responses which harm, not help, has now become a global conversation about systems and culture change. In many episodes, David and Ruth are joined by a global leader in different areas like child safety, men and masculinity, and, of course, partnering with survivors. Each episode is a deep dive into complex topics like how systems fail domestic abuse survivors and their children, societal views of masculinity and violence, and how intersectionalities such as cultural beliefs, religious beliefs, and unique vulnerabilities impact how we respond to abuse and violence. These far-ranging discussions offer an insider look into how we navigate the world together as professionals, as parents, and as partners. During these podcasts, David and Ruth challenge the notions which keep all of us from moving forward collectively as systems, as cultures, and as families into safety, nurturance, and healing.
We hope you join us.
Have an idea for a podcast? Tell about it here: https://share.hsforms.com/1l329DGB1TH6AFndCFfB7aA3a1w1
Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
Season 5 Episode 5: A Trauma History is Not An Excuse for Acting Abusively
In this episode of Partnered with A Survivor, David & Ruth have an intimate discussion about how we can be emotionally & behaviorally responsible even when we have been trained into fear & reactivity through violence & abuse. David and Ruth discuss:
- How we need to drop binary definitions in order to prevent abusers from using their history of trauma as an excuse for current behaviors of coercive control & violence.
- The importance of unlearning reactive behaviors that we came by 'honestly' through trauma
- The importance of considering context, patterns of behavior and impacts on functioning as part of the conversations about survivors' reactivity and use of violence
- The value of self-reflection on the impact of our behaviors when we are triggered back into a state of fear or defensiveness
If you like this episode you may be interested in:
Season 5 Episode 2: Women’s Use Of Force In Intimate Relationships: An Interview With Lisa Young Larance
Season 3 Episode 7: Understanding And Validating Survivors’ Acts Of Resistance
Season 2 Episode 11: “We Need A Revolution:” Integration Of Trauma Healing And Behavior Change For People Who Choose Violence
Now available! Mapping the Perpetrator’s Pattern: A Practitioner’s Tool for Improving Assessment, Intervention, and Outcomes The web-based Perpetrator Pattern Mapping Tool is a virtual practice tool for improving assessment, intervention, and outcomes through a perpetrator pattern-based approach. The tool allows practitioners to apply the Model’s critical concepts and principles to their current case load in real
Check out David Mandel's new book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence."
Visit the Safe & Together Institute website
Start taking Safe & Together Institute courses
Check out Safe & Together Institute upcoming events