#288 Shaken to Surrender: What Happens When God Won't Let You Go

She survived the Haiti earthquake. Battled suicide three times. Got diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 46. And she will tell you — every single shaking was for her good. Aahmes Kubicki's story is not about what she went through. It is about who met her there.

• The divine appointment that set Dr. Tabatha free from a spirit of depression
• Aahmes's story: three suicide attempts, an affair, a double life — and the woman God sent to find her
• The text message that arrived at the exact moment she had her antidepressants in her hand
• Haiti 2010 — how the earthquake that killed 300,000 people became her turning point
• Stage one ovarian cancer at 46 — and how she chose faith over fear
• Her mom's stage four kidney cancer diagnosis five days later
• What it means to be shaken to a place of surrender
• The bus ride that changed everything — and what Dr. Tabatha's progesterone did for her
• Why community is not optional — it is how God designed us to survive
• Aahmes's upcoming book: Shaken to Surrender

Aahmes Kubicki → @aahmes_kubicki

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." — Proverbs 17:17

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 — The text message that saved her life 00:31 — Welcome to Fast to Faith 01:00 — Dr. Tabatha at Focal Studios — a divine friendship 03:32 — How Dr. Tabatha met Aahmes — and what happened next 04:46 — "Krabby Tabby" — the childhood lie that became a spirit of depression 05:36 — Aahmes's side of the story — divine appointment 07:12 — Hormone Tame: the multivitamin that fills every gap 09:24 — Growing up in the church without knowing Jesus 10:45 — Her dad's cancer at 42 — and how she ran from God 12:17 — From angry at God to escorting — a double life 13:03 — The power of a praying mom 13:39 — The woman at the party — the text that saved her life 15:31 — Haiti 2010 — the missions trip that changed everything 16:27 — The earthquake that killed 300,000 — and spared her 17:38 — When your faith gets tested right after it's renewed 18:55 — The next earthquake: stage one ovarian cancer at 46 19:52 — Her mom diagnosed with stage four cancer five days later 21:20 — Fear or faith — there is always a moment to choose 22:10 — Allowing yourself a moment of humanity before choosing faith 24:04 — Why community is not optional — iron sharpens iron 26:06 — "We were never created to do this alone" 26:46 — The bus ride — Aahmes after surgery, Dr. Tabatha beside her 28:19 — Surgical menopause and what nobody prepared her for 29:17 — The progesterone on the bus — and the sleep that followed 32:06 — Shaken to Surrender: the book 35:04 — Panning for gold — the beautiful picture of surrender 36:51 — Closing: Proverbs 17:17

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Fast to Faith is hosted by Dr. Tabatha Barber — OB/GYN, functional medicine physician, and founder of the Fast to Faith Sisterhood and Coaching Academy.

Transcript

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The Text That Stopped Suicide

Aahmes Kubicki 0:00

I had my antidepressants, my pain medication, and I was about to take them both. And she was going to call me, but she thought she's going to think I'm crazy. So she texted me and she said, Hi, Miss my name, and shared her name. And she said, I'm at this party, I'm hearing some things, and I don't care if they're true or not. I just want you to know that Jesus told me to tell you he loves you. Woo! If you need somebody, I'm here for you.

Dr. Tabatha 0:30

If you're tired of doing all the right things and still feeling exhausted, stuck in your body, and disconnected from God, this podcast is for you. I'm Dr. Tabitha, a triple board certified functional medicine physician, and I help women stop fighting their bodies and start healing them God's way. Let's get into it. Welcome back to the Fast of Faith podcast.

Why This Friendship Matters

Dr. Tabatha 1:00

I am still in California, and I am at Focal Studios. This place is the real deal. I have been pampered and just treated so amazing, and I have done a few interviews, and right now we are going to actually interview the owner of the studio. And it's not because she owns the studio, but that is a blessing. It's because she's an absolutely incredible woman that God brought into my life a couple years ago. And I just I don't want to keep her to myself. Have you ever had a friend come in just for a divine assignment? That is what happened with me and Amise. So I want you to stay tuned today and just listen to our conversation and think about the people that have come into your life in the past, or maybe somebody's about to step into your life and it's a divine assignment from God. And I want you to just be open to that idea because here's the deal: I was praying for friends, I was praying to be around women who could speak life over me and they knew the word of God and they just lived differently. And when I met this woman, it was it was awe-inspiring to say the least, just the way that she was walking out her kingdom life here on earth. I just, I've never met anyone like her. And so I'm here to share her with you. Her story is going to move you, and it's gonna give you a couple aha's. It's gonna give you a breakthrough of like, wait a second, God is actually in all of this, He never leaves you or forsakes you. So stay tuned. If you have to pause and come back, that's the beauty of the podcast. But finish this episode. It is for you, I promise. So let me just sing Amise's praise. Amise Kubeki, she is a powerhouse speaker. She has spoken at churches, conferences, high schools, everywhere you can think of. And she doesn't just speak and inspire people, she moves them, she softens their heart and really just invites Jesus in on the conversation, and people are forever changed. So that is gonna happen to you. I'm really excited for this conversation. Welcome, Amis, to Fast of Faith. Thank you so much, my sweet friend.

Aahmes Kubicki 3:32

Thank you for having me. I cannot believe that we're sitting in the studio that God told me while I was sitting with you that He would give birth to. And you're here. So thank

Breaking Labels And Depression Lies

Speaker 4 3:45

you so much.

Dr. Tabatha 3:46

Yeah, God is so good. I just want to take our listeners back for a minute because two years ago I was here in California. Like California fills my soul. I was here for an event that Brooke Thomas was putting on at the Ritz-Carleton. I think it was a two or three-day event, but you were the first person to speak to me, and we got seated next to each other. I don't even remember if it was assigned seating or what, but we did this activity, and I want to share this because this really was the beginning of me finding my Christ-centered identity. We did the activity where we figured out what is the nickname you were given as a child that has been holding you back? What kind of lie did you come into agreement with? And I shared with you that everybody used to call me Krabby Tabby when I was growing up. Tabby is short for Tabitha. And by the time I was 11 or 12 years old, I had a spirit of depression on me that I just couldn't lift. I had, you know, attempted suicide. And by the time I met you, I had been on five different antidepressants, and I just thought that is who I am. That is my identity. And it's because people spoke it over to me. And you were a complete stranger, yet you prayed over me and you lifted that spirit of depression, and I have been free ever since. So I share that because we lose hope or we just think this is our lot in life, right? Right. And it shouldn't be that way. So can you speak to your side of the story and what was going through your mind?

Speaker 4 5:36

It was um one of those moments where you know that it's a divine appointment. Yeah. Because little did you know my story. And so, as you were sharing, I was like, okay, Jesus, nothing's wasted. As someone who had tried to commit suicide three times. Um, and for the Lord to have come to my rescue, not once, but twice, but three times. Wow. For him to spare me, to save me for in that moment to speak life over you. And I just remember when you were talking, I got real mad at the enemy. I was like, uh, no, you're not going to tell my sister the same lie that you tried to tell me. And I felt the Spirit of God so powerfully say, No, you tell her that this is a lie, this is not for me, that this is not what I've said over her. And you tell her how much I love her, how I've seen her, how I've been with her. You tell her that I'll never left her, I'll never forsake her, I never did, I never will. You tell her that's not her name, but she's been given a name by me. And so we just rebuked, rejected, canceled, reversed that lie over you and spoke life, the same life that he spoke over me. I feel like he was speaking over me and speaking over you at the exact same time. Wow. And yeah, so I have goosebumps.

Dr. Tabatha 6:57

I'm visibly shaking. I just I feel it in every cell of my body that it was a divine appointment. And we were doing spiritual warfare and we were freed on that day. Amen.

Supplements And Cellular Support

Dr. Tabatha 7:12

Real quick, I just want to interrupt this conversation for something super important. Even though we need to take care of ourselves spiritually, emotionally, and physically, we do have to take care of ourselves at a cellular level. And that is why I have my Fast to Face supplement line. So let's just take a minute to hear about something that might be the game changer that you need in this season. We really need to up-level how we're taking care of our temple. I used to treat mine like a garbage can, I will just be honest. And I'm not okay with that anymore. So this is one of the most important things to me is that I'm taking high-quality supplements that are actually doing what they say they're doing, and I'm getting my money's worth, and I'm not making my body worse by putting the wrong stuff in it. So let's talk about Hormone Tame Essential Multivitamin, because even though it gives you all the vitamins and minerals you need, there's extra goodness in there, isn't there? I think you have a bottle sitting next to you.

Speaker 1 8:20

Tell us about Hormone Tame. Hormone tame is five products in one. Um, if you listen to the the other episode, one of the things that we talked about is oftentimes, you know, women are just people, we're taking a lot of supplements. And the nice thing about a lot of the um supplements that we have here at Fast of Faith is that they're just so consolidated, where you could take this and you are basically taking five products. So, yes, this is gonna be a multivitamin, but there is so much more. We actually kind of refer to it as a multivitamin on um steroids. One of the key things that this is gonna be helping is your mitochondria. All you need to know is that they are responsible for so many systems and processes in your body. The reason that we need supplements is because we're just supplementing areas that we just can't really kind of get with our food. So we're filling in those gaps. And so Hormone Tame is inviting the body to just fill in all of those gaps. So you got to fill those gaps. And hormone tame it will help to do that.

Dr. Tabatha 9:23

I

Anger At God And Rock Bottom

Dr. Tabatha 9:24

if you're cool with it, I would love for you to share with my listeners, you know, how you went through the 2010 Haiti earthquake and you've gone through a cancer fight, and like you've gone through some of the hardest things people can go through, but you are just here praising Jesus. So were you always this faithful?

Speaker 4 9:44

Uh I wish I could say that. I would love to um, I think a lot of people think when they see this side, right? Because this is the the overcoming part, this is coming through it part. But to go back to the beginning, no, absolutely not. I I grew up in the church, I was very churched. I had a very strong church family, but I did not have my own personal relationship with Jesus until many years later. I would lose my virginity, get pregnant, I would walk through almost having an abortion, anything that you could think of of a trial, fire, test, counter to right looking like that Christian. Um, that I went through all of it. I really what was the point for me that it it came down to um making a decision about my own faith was when my dad got cancer. And that for me really was the change in everything. That's when faith was tested for me. Yeah. Because I got very angry at God because I thought, how could a good God let my dad get sick? Why would you let cancer come? He was only 42 years old. Wow. And we were all babies. I'm the oldest of five girls. And so I felt very forsaken. Yeah. And I think that's the point where the enemy comes in. So when I think of trying to commit suicide later, it was I was angry at God, I was mad at God. I thought, well, you took my dad because my dad would lose his life to cancer, lymphoma cancer of the stomach. And he had a job working as an engineer. He worked as an ass at Aztec. And I believe that part of it, which you and I have talked about, was his physical health was cancer coming in from environment right circumstances. Right. But his spiritual sickness was my dad had not healed, forgiven himself, had not walked through his own process of healing, which I believe is an inward, outward manifestation of faith.

Dr. Tabatha 11:49

Absolutely. That's what Brooke and I spoke about when we recorded in her cancer journey. When there is things that have not been dealt with that are buried inside of you and not addressed, they do manifest physically, and cancers very often the diagnosis that you get. So how did you go from being so angry and feeling forsaken? Like, how did you get back to Jesus?

Speaker 4 12:16

Well, I ran away from him first. And through running away, I would go to the darkest places. I mean, I was married, I was having an affair, I was living a double life, I was escorting anything and everything that would be good or um a relationship with God that would say I love Jesus, I went against it in every part of my soul. Uh, and it was definitely looking back like if you're not my dad because you took my dad. And so in that I lost myself completely to the point that I did try to commit suicide three times. But this is where, despite the fact that I wasn't praying, the power of prayer is I had a praying mom.

Dr. Tabatha 13:02

Ooh, yes. I know my mom saved me. Like if she hadn't been warring for me for 20 years, I swear, you know, we have the same father. God is our father. But I am telling you, you and I have lived parallel lives. I did the same thing. It's like anything I could do to destroy my life and um prove that I'm not worthy of God's love, I would do it. And God didn't stop. He just chased me down, and it sounds like he chased you down. Yes, yeah.

Speaker 4 13:34

We just happened to have the same daddy.

Speaker 13:37

Yep, exactly.

Speaker 4 13:38

He would not leave me alone. And so he sent this woman, a mighty woman of God, who saw me beyond what I was doing, beyond how I was living. And she said, I need her phone number to her husband. They were at a party. He got my number, she went out to the car. Little did she know it was at the counter. I had my antidepressants, my pain medication, and I was about to take them both. And she was going to call me, but she thought she's gonna think I'm crazy. So she texted me and she said, Hi, Miss my name and shared her name. And she said, I'm at this party, I'm hearing some things, and I don't care if they're true or not. I just want you to know that Jesus told me to tell you he loves you. If you need somebody, I'm here for you. And so she met me in my darkest state, not knowing that in that moment I would collapse on the floor like a two-year-old toddler. She said, I'll meet you tomorrow. I don't remember texting us, but I said yes. I met her the next morning at Starbucks at 7 a.m. She witnessed, mentored, discipled, everything all in one time. She prayed over me. It was like a holy fire. And I did not have the faith at the time. I was holding on to the hem of his garment through her because she was clinging to faith for me. So she said, God's gonna save your life, he's gonna save your marriage. This is not who you are. He loves you, you're healed. She started speaking healing over me. I was like, What in the world? I just asked you. You know, yeah. I was not expecting all of that. But she would not leave me because he never left me. For the next two years, she would walk through every fire with me, pray for me. And that would come with a lot of other things, which would lead up to the what I did not know was my first missions trip in 2010. And so when you ask, like, what happened? I went on my first missions trip. I get to

Haiti Earthquake And New Faith

Speaker 4 15:31

Haiti, I meet these beautiful little yummy chocolate babies, fall in love, fell in love with the culture, the people, but most of all their worship. And that is where I saw faith. They had faith that I had never understood before in my life. They would eat, these babies would eat three days a week, but they worshiped God, and they would be laid out on their faces for two hours before a meal. And here I thought my life was hard. And so God started to renew my mind, give me new eyes, a new heart. And I started to truly understand what it was to walk by faith, 2 Corinthians 5, 17, and not by sight. And I learned through them what worship was. And so I thought that was like I came to Haiti and I was done, girlfriend. I was like, I go to heaven now. I know who Jesus is, you know, like this is what faith is.

Dr. Tabatha 16:26

Yeah.

Speaker 4 16:27

Little did I know that God was like, No Ami is not only do I want to renew your mind, but I want to give you a new heart. And so three days into that trip, that earthquake would hit the 7.2 earthquake, and 300,000 people would die in that earthquake. But me, my daughters, and 14 team members would be spared. And so when I came back home, and that's a whole nother story. But by the time I came home, my mom said I was up and CNN was there and Channel 9 News, all these news stations, and I'm at our church and I'm sitting on the stage, and everyone's talking about their experience. And they got to me and they said, So were you afraid? And I said, No. And I asked everybody, Do you know Jesus? And my mom said, because I never talked like that. I was like, Do you know Jesus? Because he loves you, and I said, and he was with us, and angels were with us, and we were protected. And I saw them on the ends of both streets every day, and the Bible came alive. Wow. And so my mom said, Well, she said to my husband, I don't know who that is up there, but I'm gonna have to get to know her. And that's where everything changed.

Dr. Tabatha 17:38

That is so powerful. Wow. I I feel like that always happens as soon as you have your eyes opened, you have this realization of like, yes, God loves me, He's for me, and your faith is renewed, the test comes, right? Because you could have gone a completely opposite direction of like, wow, God, you really did forsake me yet again. You just put me through this hell, but that's not how you chose to see it. That's so powerful.

Speaker 4 18:13

Amen.

Dr. Tabatha 18:14

Amen. And I would encourage anyone listening, go back and think about the things you've been through. And maybe you feel like God wasn't there, but I promise you, He was in every single moment. He knew exactly what you were gonna go through. And maybe you should have responded a different way. I know I have failed many tests, and he just is like, okay, we'll do that again, right? We'll change up the characters and the players a little bit, but we're gonna keep doing it until you see how good I really am, and you just start living into a Romans 828 life. Like that is it's all for our good. It's all for his glory, right?

Speaker 4 18:54

Yes, amen, amen. Yes, and when you say trials and because of course I'm thinking that's it, right? So that had to be the biggest thing. We're done, God. We're good. Why can't it be that way? Yeah, it's not no, that would not be the end um of the story. If anything, that was probably the beginning of the shaking for a lot of things to come.

Dr. Tabatha 19:19

Okay. Well, when I met you two years ago, your faith was so strong and profound, it like shook that spirit of depression off of me. So how how long? That was 10 years or 2010. Okay, and I met you in 2022, so it was a while. Okay. So you were strong at that point. Yes. But then what happened last year? And then more shaking came.

Speaker 4 19:52

Then the next earthquake came.

Cancer News And Faith Choices

Speaker 4 19:54

I would be diagnosed with stage one ovarian cancer, and my mom was diagnosed with stage four kidney cancer five days after me. Oh my gosh. So we would be shaken as a family and had no idea that that would come. Thought with my dad that we were done with that. Right. Right. It wasn't anything that genetically, naturally, that we were looking for or expecting. So when I went to the doctor and they said, we're gonna run one more test. And you know how the Holy Spirit just get that little like because he always prepares you, right? There isn't, he doesn't leave, he never forsakes. There is a little whisper, and I believe that the father was saying, Amice, I'm I'm still here and I'll be with you. And so there was a prepared in my spirit, I did not expect it to be that. So when it came back that yes, um you we need to have uh a hysterectomy, a full hysterectomy. And at that time I was 46 years old, which is not what I was expecting at 46 years old. I'm thinking I'm gonna go through the natural stages of life and all of the things that would come with seasoning and life would come at an appointed time, and they came a lot sooner. But I had a moment to make a decision, and I could either respond by fear or I could respond in faith.

Dr. Tabatha 21:20

Did you hear that, ladies? There is always a moment where you get to decide am I going to partner with fear or am I gonna partner with faith? And I I think people feel like life just happens to them, and it's not. Life is happening for you. Are you making the right choice? So thank you for pointing that out. So, what did you choose?

Speaker 4 21:46

I allowed myself a moment of humanity, which I believe Jesus was such a beautiful example of. Like he wept, right, when Lazarus died. There was a moment of humanity that he wept in understanding of us. But knowing that he would resurrect. And in that moment, I allowed myself to weep. And then I chose to respond in faith.

Dr. Tabatha 22:09

So good.

Speaker 4 22:10

And I think that that's what I would want anyone to know is it's okay to have a moment to have a human response. Right? We are in this world, we're not amongget, but we're in this world. So we feel things, there's emotions. And then we have another second, and you get to choose what you'll do with that. And that's when I chose faith. And faith said, go to war. Faith said you call your sisters and you ask them to pray. Faith said, Isaiah 58, 6. Some things only come by prayer and fasting. And so we're going to pray and we're going to fast. And I have been blessed to have women of God like you, sisters in my life, that love Jesus and know the power of prayer. And know the power of prayer and fasting together. Yes. And they joined me and they went to war. And we didn't have to fight in the natural because it was a battle that we knew we would win on our knees. And that's what they did. They came alongside me. I would wake up to scripture. I would wake up to prayer. I would wake up to worship songs. Brooke, my gosh, sisters showing up, covering me, praying for me. It was an unrelenting prayer that never stopped. The Bible says, pray without ceasing. And that's exactly what we did. We prayed through. We did everything that you're supposed to do. I went to doctor appointments and I understood that there is a natural side to what I needed to do. And I had a choice to have the surgery or not have the surgery. But I prayed. I always ask God for a threefold confirmation. I want to hear from the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Three scriptures every time. And then I'll move. And the Father said, Yes, I have healed you.

Speaker 3 24:01

I love that.

Dr. Tabatha 24:03

It's so powerful being in a community. You know, that is why I created the Fast of Faith Sisterhood because you need women praying over you. You need women warring for you in the spiritual realm and lifting you up and cheerleading you and just reminding you that God hasn't forsaken you, right?

Speaker 4 24:26

Amen.

Dr. Tabatha 24:26

Oh my gosh, we had one of our coaches got diagnosed with brain cancer right after she became a coach. And we did a 24-hour prayer chain and just got to work fighting for her. And it was so powerful. And I cannot express enough like how being in that kind of community changes your life. Like, I believe that's what saved you, right?

Speaker 4 24:54

Yes. Amen. Amen. Proverbs 27, 17, iron sharpens iron. And so even sitting here right now in the spirit, I would just know like there's just iron back and forth. And so there are women right now that we're sharpening because we're all one body. We eat of one loaf, we drink of one cup. So when we join together in prayer and fast together, the gates of hell cannot prevail. And that's how I felt in the spirit, even on the nights that were hard, because there were nights I was in a lot of pain. There were nights I absolutely had the spirit of death try to come and speak to me and lie to me. But there were warriors that were interceding and were rebuking that spirit. And I never felt alone. I never felt forsaken. Before I knew what that was, then I would have responded that way 15 years prior.

Dr. Tabatha 25:46

Right, right.

Speaker 4 25:47

I would not have been prepared for this for such a time as this. I would not have been prepared to speak to that thing and tell it, no, you do not get to determine my life. God is the author and finisher of my life. And that's why you need sisters and community. It is impossible to do this thing alone.

Speaker 26:05

Yeah.

Speaker 4 26:05

We were never created to do that. It was always supposed to be what we're doing right now.

Dr. Tabatha 26:10

Yeah,

Post Surgery Menopause And Answers

Dr. Tabatha 26:11

absolutely. Okay, so back to our divine friendship. I get on this bus. I'm back in California last year. I get on the bus and I sit next to you and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's a mice. I love you. I have missed you. You you did so much for me. And you needed me in that moment, right? Like, yes. God is so good the way like you give, you receive, you don't know, but God knows the plan. And so I just feel like everything was a setup from the beginning, wasn't it?

Speaker 4 26:46

Yes. And that I love the father because everything makes sense. We don't understand it in the right.

Dr. Tabatha 26:54

Right. But looking back, it all makes so much sense.

Speaker 4 26:57

All does. I could not, I had just had my surgery. I wasn't even screwing. I know.

Dr. Tabatha 27:02

I was like, girl, what are you doing on the bus? You're supposed to be home recovering. Hello? You just had huge surgery.

Speaker 4 27:09

Huge surgery. I was you know, my family was a little upset. They were like, what in the world? But I knew I was supposed to be there. Yeah. And sometimes doesn't have to make sense in the natural. Sometimes you just have to obey God. And I knew the father said go. And I was supposed to go because I was now going to receive from you. And you were now going to speak life over me. And that's exactly what you did. Because at that moment, while I'm still waiting for results, because they were still testing to see if it had spread and all the things, I sat next to you and you spoke life over me, and you encouraged me, and you healed me and loved me. And a moment where I was still feeling weak physically. And so spiritually, physically, I was exactly where I was supposed to be. So I'm so thankful. I'm so thankful for you. And that moment, because I was still trying to figure things out. I had been sitting to menopause. Yes. They said it would happen within a week, and it felt like it was just days.

Dr. Tabatha 28:18

Yeah. And it hits you like a bus, right?

Speaker 4 28:21

It's like boom. It was nothing could have prepared me, and they didn't prepare me. Yeah. It was very light. It was like, okay, you're going to go into menopause, you're going to have an estrogen patch. And so I'm like, oh, okay. Didn't understand that that meant now I'm going to feel like I'm going crazy. Yeah. Now I'm going to lose my I felt like I was losing my mind. I would go from one room to the next room. Couldn't remember why I was in the next room. Physical pain, joint pain, bone pain, exhausted, not sleeping. And so I had all these questions for you that I had been confused, nobody else was answering. And I felt like you, the entire ride, spoken to, were giving me the revelation, what to do. And and even bless me, I hadn't slept and I had not been able to sleep. And then you gave me progesterone.

Dr. Tabatha 29:17

I was like, girl, I have progesterone in my hotel room.

Speaker 4 29:20

I'm going to bring it to you. Yes. Yes. Just that. I was like, I was able to sleep to the point that I could not wake up for the reason. I just slept. And my body just rested in the Lord, rested in your love, rested in your prayers, rested in what God had done on that ride. And what he had already established was we were supposed to be together in this life and into eternity, you would be my sister.

Dr. Tabatha 29:49

Wow. I love those full circle moments. Like it's so good. And the fact that it was in such a short time period, because a lot of times the work that God does, at least in my life, has been like the decade to connect those dots. Like, oh, now I see why I went through that forever ago. But it was just such a beautiful exchange of friendship for us, I feel like. Amen. Amen. Yes.

Speaker 4 30:17

Yes.

Dr. Tabatha 30:17

And I know that someone is getting blessed right now listening to this because your perspective is everything. You know, you could have been frustrated with your OBGYN that they didn't have that conversation with you and gone into self-pity and like been just in complaining mode and resentment mode, and like, why God did this have to happen to me? But you chose to think, okay, I'm here on this bus with Tabitha for a reason. It's all gonna be okay. God knows what I need, He's working it out for my good. And you just chose to see it that way, right?

Speaker 4 30:59

Yes, amen. But not just to see it that way, but to receive. It's one thing, right? You can have a sister in the Lord, you can have a friend in the Lord, and she can speak life, encourage you, give you, you know, progesterone, and you can take it. Yeah. Or you can say, I don't know if I I want to try that. Faith is, God, I believe this is a divine appointment. I believe that I got on this plane after surgery and I'm here with my sister because before the foundation of the world, you brought us together because you knew that I was going to need her in this moment. And so I'm not going to reject or operate in fear because fear would say, I don't know if that's gonna work. Fear would say, Don't get on the flight. Yes. Right? And if I there was a medical thing that clearly, I'm not saying get on a plane if you're like in physical pain, but I was strong enough in the Lord.

Dr. Tabatha 31:55

I knew you were supposed to go.

Speaker 4 31:57

Yes, I knew I was supposed to go, and it was confirmed on that bus. Wow.

Dr. Tabatha 32:02

I just love this story.

Turning A Testimony Into A Book

Dr. Tabatha 32:06

Oh my gosh, you're your your life is incredible, and I'm so excited because you put it in a book and you're actually gonna share it. And I just I I am so excited for that because it's one thing for us to live our stories, but then it becomes a point where it's not our story anymore. It's for another woman, it's for another person, and they are going to be blessed from your story. So you have to share it, right? Yes, and I love that you're not even there's no shame, there's no condemnation. You're like, this is what I did, and I'm a broken sinner, and I need Jesus to be the incredible woman that I am now. So amen. Tell us about your book.

Speaker 4 32:51

I'm so excited. So shaken to surrender is everything that could have been shaken in my life that needed to be shaken. It's the things that shake you that normally would break you, the things that the enemy means to rob, steal, kill, and destroy you, which in every area he attempted to do. But there was this amazing, faithful Father, our loving Jesus, our God, that oversaw all of it and was in it and is interwoven even in the darkest of places. And so I walk with you and our sisters and brothers in the Lord through this journey of what it means to be shaken to the point of falling down on my knees, literally and spiritually, coming to repentance and asking him to forgive me, which he already had.

Dr. Tabatha 33:42

Yes.

Speaker 4 33:43

Right. And so that no longer living in shame, condemnation, that's why people ask me all the time, Amies, how are you able to just talk about that and say that out loud without shame? And I'm it's not that I didn't go through a season of that.

Speaker 3 33:56

Right.

Speaker 4 33:56

So for anybody that is feeling that way, for any any anyone that feels left or forsaken or ashamed of their choices, I know what that is. But you choose to believe God. And by faith, I am forgiven. By faith, you are forgiven. And by faith, you and I were brought together with our testimonies, with our stories, with our brokenness. God shook what needed to be shaken to bring us to a place of surrender. So that those that are being shaken now, I just want you to know that we were shaken first and will testify to it. And surrender is a beautiful place. It's not a bondage, it's a surrender to know that you can fall on your face before him and nothing will keep his love from you. And that's the journey of shaken to surrender is his love is there through cancer, his love is there through your addictions, your strongholds, your choices, disease, all of the different areas, because there's lots of things I walk through in this book, but every part of it is he didn't shake me, he allowed me to be shaken. Surrender is where he met me.

Dr. Tabatha 35:04

Oh my gosh, I cannot wait to read this book. It's so good. I am having this visualization of panning for gold. Have you ever seen someone with their little shaker pan? Like you pull it out of the water and you sift in all of the sediment, and the bad stuff is removed, and all that's left in the pan is gold. Like that is literally what happened to you. Yes, amen. Oh my goodness.

Speaker 4 35:32

Wow. I love that so much. That was a beautiful picture. I received that. Amen. And that's all of any of your listeners. If there's any shaking happening, gold is all that is going to be left in their life. And it doesn't mean that every piece is perfect, but it does mean that they will be shaken to a place that surrender will be their victory, it will be their crown, it will be their peace, it will be their healing, it will be their lifting. And so whatever caused them to fall, they will stand up and they will stand up knowing that he's the one picking them up.

Dr. Tabatha 36:05

Exactly. Okay, I already know the answer, but I'm gonna ask you are you grateful that you got cancer and went through that? What's wild is yes. I know. That is that is the true peace of the Lord, is you really can have peace through your trials and tribulations. And I'm I'm I know that women listening right now are being blessed because they've just been given some diagnosis and spoken death over them by their doctors or their family or whoever else is freaking out around them. And I want you to know that there is a better ending to this story if you choose faith over fear. Amen. Yes. Oh, so good.

Proverbs On Friendship And Next Steps

Dr. Tabatha 36:51

Okay, ladies. I want to end. I love that you did the Proverbs, iron sharpens iron, because I'm gonna have the ladies end with Proverbs 1717 that says, a friend loves at all times, but a good, a new brother or sister will show up in times of adversity. So Amen. Yeah, amen. You were God appointed, and I'm so grateful for our friendship with Misa. Is there anything else you want to say to my listeners before we close?

Speaker 4 37:21

Thank you. This woman of God right here is gold. And so for every listener, you keep following, listening, because everything that God pours out through you is gold. So that's what I would tell them is this is where they're going to get their healing physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally. God is using you to meet them right where they are.

Dr. Tabatha 37:48

Yeah, and I feel so humbled and honored to be that guide for them. You know, I used to think I was the healer, I am not the healer, you know, and that is a big issue in the medical system. Doctors think they're the healers. So I am your guide, I am here for you, I will pray over you, and I will remind you that you are more than your diagnosis or your current issue that you're struggling from. And there is a better future ahead. God already promised that. So live into his promises this week. Meditate on Proverbs 17:17. Go be Christ's hands to serve, and I will see you next week. If you like that episode, I have one favor to ask, maybe two. Can you hit subscribe and give me a heart? I want Apple to know that this is important information to you because when we tell them that, you will get more of it. So use your voice. Hit subscribe, hit the like button, share with a friend. And the other thing, I want you to download the five day challenge and get started on it. Take imperfect action. I will see you in the Fast of Faith Sisterhood. Till next time.