The emotional perils of dating - in particular online dating - frequently rank near the top of psychosocial stressors that are discussed in psychotherapy. Award-winning magazine writer, Fortune contributor, and author of Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game, Jon Birger, joins host Dr. Pete Kelly, C.Psych for a discussion of his new book Make Your Move: The New Science of Dating and Why Women Are in Charge. In this discussion they cover:
- Jon's journey from writing about the stock & oil market to the dating market including a brief summary of some of the major conclusions of his previous book on this topic, Date-onomics
- the macro-scale dynamics that are facing men and women dating at the moment (i.e., disproportionately more college educated women etc.)
- the core self-defeating perceptions that men & women have been labouring under with respect to dating
- the “suitor’s advantage” and why it is suggested that being assertive in picking a partner (rather than waiting to be picked) is the best strategy
- an in-depth description of common complaints around online dating
- a discussion of the data around the effectiveness of online dating platforms
- the opportunities and risks of dating at the office, including reflections on the cultural evolution of dating within the workplace
- some of the ways in which progressive companies have struck a balance between the reality of large groups of humans of all sexual orientations working together but also respecting that for many, they simply want the workplace to be a workplace and not have to navigate being solicited for dating
- Jon's thoughts on prioritizing a career vs a relationship
- a guide for critical thinking around common dating stereotypes (e.g., men should generally date younger women, women should not date men less educated than them, women shouldn’t propose to men)
- application of the principles discussed to LGBTQ singles.
Host note: the book that I was struggling to reference at about the 13 minute mark was The Game by Neil Strauss
Jon Birger is an award-winning magazine writer, Fortune contributor, and author of Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game. A former senior writer at Fortune and Money, Jon was named to AlwaysOn Network’s list of “Power Players in Technology Business Media”. His work has also appeared in Barron’s, Bloomberg Businessweek, New York Magazine, Time, the Daily Mail, the New York Post and the Washington Post. Jon is a familiar face and voice on television and radio, having made guest appearances on ABC’s Good Morning America, BBC World Service, CNBC, CNN, MSNBC, National Public Radio, and Fox News – discussing a wide range of topics from the dating market to the stock market to the oil market. A graduate of Brown University, Jon lives with his family in Larchmont, New York.