Conversations from the Heart

#104 - How Can I Get My Therapist to Understand Me?

Yvette Erasmus

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 30:22

In this episode, I coach a listener named Julia who feels dismissed after bringing up a difficult experience in therapy. Her therapist tried to normalize it by offering logic instead of empathy and now Julia’s wondering how to bring it up without creating conflict or being misunderstood again.

Together, we explore:

•How to ask for more empathy in therapy (without blaming or shaming)

•What it means when a therapist skips emotional attunement

•A gentle script you can use when therapy feels misaligned

•What to do if your therapist can’t or won’t meet you where you are

If you’ve ever walked away from therapy feeling more alone than connected, this episode offers tools, language, and hope.

Stay till the end for a practical how-to guide on navigating these tough moments. Because asking for what you need in therapy is often the most healing work you’ll ever do.

In this episode:

  • [02:00] How do I tell my therapist she didn’t really hear me?
  • [04:00] The difference between empathy and normalization
  • [07:00] When therapists fix too fast, and why it hurts
  • [09:00] A script to name misattunement without escalation
  • [12:00] How the therapy relationship becomes the real work
  • [14:00] Post-session how-to guide: 6 steps to naming what’s not working in 

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me: