The University of Life
The University of Life podcast has become my personal collection of fascinating learnings from the people I meet and experiences I have as I explore life and journey deeper in to the space of business mentoring & life coaching.
The University of Life
The University of Life & Sebastian Tiaga
Ever reached a finish line and felt… nothing?
In this episode, we open a raw, grounded exploration of what happens when the life you built on performance finally collapses, and why that collapse can become the most important turning point of your life.
This is a journey from numbness to embodiment.
From leaking energy to living with coherence.
From chasing validation to standing in your own signal.
Sebastian shares how bullying, shame, and the hunger to prove himself created a hollow drive, and how a dark night, kundalini practice, and radical honesty pulled him back into truth. Together, we explore sexual energy as life force: not something to control or suppress, but something to cultivate, honour, and channel.
We dive deep into semen retention as transmutation, why porn and fantasy disconnect you from your body, and how to rebuild nervous system capacity so desire flows through you instead of blowing your circuits. Intimacy shifts from performance to presence, breath, pacing, sensation, and the courage to actually feel.
We talk about erections and self-love, why sensitivity is a reward not a curse, and how clearing blocks in the body changes everything: your relationships, your creativity, your work, your leadership.
When head, heart, and sex align, radiance replaces hustle.
You push less, you create more, and you carry a quiet magnetism people feel before you even speak.
The tools are simple, sleep, sunlight, clean food, daily practice, breath, devotion.
But the effect is profound:
You stop chasing.
You start emitting.
You become the signal.
If you’re ready to reclaim your energy, question the scripts that keep you small, and build a body that can hold what your soul is asking for, press play.
And if this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review with one insight you’re committed to acting on this week.
If ever you'd like to connect, please don't hesitate to connect via my website www.jamiewhite.com.
I am always open to feedback, reflections, guest / subject recommendations and anything else that might come up.
Thank you for listening, Jamie x
So, Sebastian, welcome to the University of Life. Thank you. I uh I'm really excited to chat with you. Um, I see you as this like fantastically beautiful man who is like really deeply embodied in his practice. And I'm I I want to try to try to pick as many pearls of wisdom out of you as possible. Is that okay? Of course. Here for that. Thank you for having me. Pleasure. Look, how how do you describe what you do uh and and essentially who you are now? Because it feels like you've put so much work into yourself.
SPEAKER_03:Just coming back to truth, I think that's at this point how I can explain that. Yeah, there's different tools, but I think it's that hero journey, it's that moment where you just want to reclaim yourself or free yourself.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Remove the shades. That's such a simple answer. It's like, yeah, I'm on a mission essentially coming back to my truth.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And for somebody, like perhaps naively, they might be like, What do you even mean by that coming back to your truth? But yeah, if I was to poke you a little bit and be like, hey, what do you mean by that? What comes up?
SPEAKER_03:Well, you know, I think the pain of being so disconnected from myself and thinking that that's that's where happiness was. There's a moment in my life where I reach money, recognition, or I just got to that place where I thought I'll be that's where I want it. And um it lasted a very short time, actually, and then it crumbled.
SPEAKER_00:I I what I'm kind of hearing from you is it's it's almost like the I subscribed to a way of life, I worked hard, I did what I thought I was meant to do until I finally got to where I thought I wanted to be, and it was empty, it was vapid, and it's this almost like this big spiritual awakening, this idea of like this can't be all that there is to life.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly.
SPEAKER_00:And what you quickly realize is aha, yeah, you sacrificed yourself to go on that journey, and whatever you achieved, it paled in comparison to unfortunately the loss of losing yourself, and so you almost you put all that aside and you go on a mission of like, okay, well, what would life be like if I was living it more true to myself? If I wasn't living out of obligation, but much more so I was being true to authenticity.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. It sounds amazing though, but it's the most wonderful and the most courageous journey, I think. It has so much, and I think that's where embodiment comes. Yeah. When like you decide to just really go in to reclaim yourself. I feel that's a journey. That's I think that's why they call it the hero journey. Yeah. Because it's like valleys and deserts and forests and of all kinds of things. It's like I I think this movie, um The Lord of the Rings, for example, it just came on my mind. I never thought, I never done that comparison, but I actually like the that's kind of like the journey of like, okay, let me go back and find my treasure, because my treasure is within. And I've been looking for this treasure outside of my life. And I thought is when I get this job, when I buy this house, when I married, when I do this, when I do that. And then all of a sudden you have that or you arrive there, and there's no treasure. There's there's like a call from the soul that it's just like, no, it's not there yet. You can get it's maybe it's a moment of fulfillment, of happiness, but it's it passed, and then you're like, okay, what's going on? You know, and then it's that quest of finding my treasure.
SPEAKER_00:Do you mind me asking, like, when you're kind of talking about that treasure? Like, what would you say you own or what you embody now that perhaps 10-15 years ago you just couldn't? Um, what has become your truth that actually unfortunately you had you had perhaps hidden away or are perhaps subscribed to a different illusion? Um, only to recognize that actually coming to your truth was what it was all about.
SPEAKER_03:In that quest, you forge yourself. In that quest, you build your foundation. As you start purifying, as you start phasing what you're know, what you know are not, your limited beliefs, the lies, what you thought you would be, your masks. That's the quest within. It would be amazing that it's like, oh, let me just go within and find my treasure. It's I think it's like the most powerful and divine and crazy and all together journey. It's just the biggest adventure of your life, actually, to go back and find yourself. And I think within that adventure, that's that's the moment that you that the embodiment comes.
SPEAKER_00:But when do you think it is that we get lost? Like because your your work is specifically working with men.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And I um and I I I would say that this whole area of let's say men's development, men coming back to their truth is is like a rarity almost. Like very I think a lot of us as men, we get lost in the idea of per a pursuit of a beautiful partner, um, let's say at the expense of a true relationship. Um, the pursuit of a fantastic paycheck, um, with the loss of our dignity and our self-respect. Um, the pursuit of a fantastic looking body, uh, unfortunately, uh, at the expense of eating all sorts and taking all sorts, that ultimately speaking, underneath it all have you feeling miserable. Um, but like there's very few people that say flying the flag of like, way, you know, you don't need to do all of that. And in actual fact, there's a there is a lighter path, there is a more truth path. Where do you think we all get lost?
SPEAKER_03:I think we get, or I got lost the moment that I got shamed, I got bullied, I got abused, I got disconnected from source, from my heart. And in that rupture, I'm not enough, I have to be more, I have to perform, I have to move around asking for validation, and then life goes on, and you don't realize that basically you've been hijacked.
SPEAKER_00:It's like a simple conversation at a young formative age. Like, do you mind me asking if I if I was to almost inquire a little bit deeper on that and be like, what's the first memory of that that it actually shows up? But I I ask just because sometimes these conversations are actually quite untangle. There's in people are like, what are they actually talking about? Yeah. Like for me. For me, going back into like early childhood or something. I remember, I remember actually the first time I was bullied, uh, and I just didn't know why. It it really paralyzed me. It took me into this enormous introspective process, like this withdrawal and introspection of like, what did I do to get that attention? Yeah, I've never experienced this attention before. What am I doing wrong? And in that question of like, what am I doing wrong? I stopped giving myself permission in any way, shape, or form to do anything full stop.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly. So if I can add into that, for example, I was bullied also. And you mentioned confusion. What's wrong with me? Yeah. Silence. If I speak, I'm bullied. So silence. And the outcome of that is I create this mask unconsciously of arrogance. Because I'd rather you think I'm an arrogant man or boy, so you don't come close to me and bully me. But then that's a disconnection from truth. Yeah, I can't be authentic, I can't be myself because I'll be bullied. So whatever is your um defense mechanism, mine, for example, was arrogance. Just very harsh. And I did manage to push away a lot of people then after school.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And I and that arrogance also maybe was it also supported me at some point because I said, I would make it happen. I would achieve what I want. I will not allow anyone to bully me. I will go, I will show the world that I can do this, yeah, whatever I want to do. But you also mentioned sacrifice. So at what cost I still don't choose myself because I'm wounded and I don't know, and I'm moving through life, performing that I'm enough, choosing big dreams somehow, trying to show that I can do it, and not being enough with myself. That is a big cross, and that is so much sacrifice that is unknown.
SPEAKER_00:A lot comes up for me when you share that. Like, so I actually think all of this is simple when you put a light on it, but it can be quite surprising. Like I don't think, for example, sake, many people play for their country professionally, are start a fantastic business from things other than a wound because it takes so much hard work, it takes so much discipline, it takes so much sacrifice that there has to be some level of I'm going to show you. I I'm going to show you that I'm better than you thought I was. I'm going to surprise you all. Like the very happy spirit, the very accepted spirit, so they don't need to prove their worth to anybody. So as a result, they don't really end up training 10 times a week, sacrificing all the nice things they want to eat or the fun things they could be doing with their friends for training, training, training, training, training. And similarly in business as well, like the kind of wound, let's say, that it takes to have somebody get a startup off the ground and to really establish their own business. I I know for myself, like I had a diminished sense, uh sense of self-worth. I outsourced my self-worth to my business. Like I remember I didn't feel good enough in social circles. And so I felt that if I build my business up, it'll speak volumes for who I am. And I actually gave so much of my essence away and so many fun times and experiences that I could have been having to the success of my business. It was great. Business was great for a while and it was fun until it wasn't. And then I when I realized I'd lost my business, the most heartbreaking thing was recognizing I'd lost myself in the process too. So I yeah, I find it's a very like this stuff makes sense, but it can be very disorientating when you start to look at things and question wow, so many of the role models that we have in society, so many of the outstanding successes in sports, our arts, our our business are actually coming from a very hurt place. We don't have many pure idols societally. Our culture, our society doesn't nurture that energy very well.
SPEAKER_03:True. It doesn't nurture authenticity. Yeah, you are enough.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Just be who you are. I think more and more at this point, we're starting to see people that the more authentic you are now, the more recognition or like reach or awareness, or like people start noticing you. And I think we are more entering in that space where it's like enough. And I think also just because the soul just cannot hold another lie. It's enough.
SPEAKER_00:That's a very interesting thing. You know, that we our systems can only carry so much indecision, our falsity, and after a little while it starts to overwhelm, it becomes too much, right? It's yeah, you can't. It's just you're sick at the end, probably. See, you your work, like a lot, obviously, my experience of a touch of your work was was orientated around trauma release. It was around essentially unburdening the system of that. And kind of find like at the start, I was kind of poking and teasing an answer out of you because what I find is that like that journey back to your true self is like peeling back an onion. Yeah. Layer by layer, as you do, it can induce a whole load of tears because it can be very confronting, very challenging, right? And so disorientating.
SPEAKER_03:I wish, at least for me, that it could be so simple. Like, oh, if it's all about just being authentic, if it's all about just expressing myself, if it's if it's all about choosing what gives me joy, just do it, right? But at least for me and for many of the men that I died, there is a deep journey of purification in order to get back to that place. Because the separation is all this program, all these lies, all these limited beliefs, all this society, all that you're meant to be, all the repressed trauma, all the repressed emotions, and they are sticking your body like gum.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And they're hard to remove them from it. And the psyche, the mind, it's not in the brain, it's the whole body. So the whole body is this hardware that has the virus. So it needs to be purified. And why also peeling like an onion? Because unfortunately, it would be amazing that you can go immediately to the heart of it, but you don't have the capacity to hold that truth. So you start peeling, and the body, the body is so intelligent that it starts bringing out what you can hold in terms of trauma release, anxiety, depression, whatever it is that you can process and it starts coming out. And as more as you clear, more space you have to hold the emotion and to hold the energy. So when we have those big breakthroughs, breakthroughs, and we really like we go to the core of the trauma. It's after we've been peeling and peeling and peeling, and we might understand what it is and we might see it, but we understand something happened, something is wrong, and maybe clarity comes. But clarity is not enough. I kind of need to travel all the way down there to reclaim myself, to change the story.
SPEAKER_00:I I always um I always get these like little moments where I like it's almost like I observe myself going into a room and I think to myself of how I have been in the past. It's like, Jamie, don't open the door this way, open the door that way. Jamie, in entering the room, you should be dressed appropriately. Your hair should be a certain way. You can't be sad, you need to have a smile on your face. If somebody comes up to you, you need to greet them in a certain way. Not too much, not too little. That's too much, that's too little. And if you think of all those thoughts that so many people carry, that's the weight I think you're, I'm feeling you're talking about, and that shows up not in so many areas of life, you know, if it comes to dating, if it comes to how we work, if it even comes to just how you spend your time alone at home, there are all these ideas of how we should be. And when we we we talk about peeling about the layers for that, what that means for me is almost, and the lightness that comes from it is the the lack of those voices, the lack of those thoughts, the lack of those ideas, and a contentment with me however I am, is perfect. Right. That's okay. And that's the kind of the battle. Like if someone was to be like, Hey Jamie, synopsize your journey back to yourself, it would be like it's finding my peace and ridding myself of all those ideas of how I should be, all those ext expectations, all those no norms that I had to adhere to, relieving them from my conscience. Purifying, yeah, pure, okay, thank you. Yeah, because for me, sometimes I get I get lost in like say that the language of it. But yeah, that's for you, you say purifying. Yeah. And can I ask you, like, because you're working with men in this regard, that's what you do, and you've gone through this journey as well. Like, if you were almost like going through, well, here's where it starts, or here's where it started for me, and this is what I did, and this led to that, and this is what I did again, and that led to that. What does that look like? The how-to guide for a spiritual light awakening for men.
SPEAKER_03:Um, so it started with my dark night of the soul, which I think is it's your best moment. Okay. Because it's the moment that your foundations that are built on shaky ground or fake ground, they crumble and they fall down. And then in that what? Like that's the activation to really go and start that quest back to yourself.
SPEAKER_00:So that looks like a relationship that you thought was something that an actual fact was nothing, or a job that you thought you loved, but an actual fact it didn't really didn't value you, or beliefs that you thought were serving you until you realize actually they've been holding you back.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, for me it was like a three-year journey, like a three-year awakening moment. And first it was my job, then it was my my um my friends, my company, my my relationship. All over and over and over. And I was actually living in Dubai, was very successful, and then in that moment everything shut down, and I didn't understand. So I moved to Mexico and started all over again. And I have the fire and the thrive. So I was able to establish again my company then, and then again after one year, everything shut down.
SPEAKER_00:Wow.
SPEAKER_03:So there was a moment where I just didn't have more energy. I just, I just like I look back and I said, What is like what is going on, or what just happened? Or you know what?
SPEAKER_00:Just like this is it. I I give up. So what I hear there for you is that like you had a cycle that played out in Dubai, and you're like, right, I'm out of here. But you go to a new market, you almost repeat the same patterns, and instead of it happening in three years, it happens in one. It's like things are catching up faster with you. It's like the world is trying to say, Hey, you need to learn here.
SPEAKER_03:I'm searching for success, I'm searching for happiness, I'm searching for love. But I'm so lucky enough that actually in that moment, the universe and the energy study to me, you are trying to find it or look for it where you will not find it. So everything shut down until really I had no option. But that came with a crisis. Like for the first time, I was in a psychiatric doctor, I was medicated, I went back to Colombia. At 33, I was like doing more than 20k, being super successful in Dubai. And I came back home at 34, something like that, 35, after being three years in. The Middle East with nothing, nothing, and the whole world started shaking, literally, vertigo and shaking. Like so, my family was like, let's go to a doctor. And and that's where it started it. But at the same time, with this doctor, a friend of mine, a yogi friend of mine, she invited me to her house and said, Come stay with me the weekend. I want to introduce you to something. And I did for my first time a Kundalini yoga class. And when I did that was an awakening or a moment of light. What I felt was like it was just shown. Like I just felt the peace, or I felt some light. And then in that moment, I'm like, this is just what I'm going to pursue. Because I could not pursue anything else outside of me because I tried so much and everything just shut down to the point that I came back to Colombia when I left when I was 17. And I'm back here after I was supposed my dream was at 30 to be successful, to be independent, to do all of this. And I'm back in the beginning of it at 34 with nothing.
SPEAKER_00:So sorry, I licked my lips. I'm like, oh, I love this. But it's I always have this idea that your your 20s are for like exploring. Yeah. Your your 20s, if you're lucky, you'll be confronted by your bullshit. And if you're lucky, which is an odd one because life, you know, again, societally, we don't reward the failures. But oftentimes, like you've talked about it, this dark night of the soul can actually be the most formative part of your life. Um, I had I similarly have that too, where I took off my journey, thought I did really, really well, and ended up right back in our family spare guest room, being like, wow, I I I really burnt myself out. And I think this idea of like rock bottom can be an enormous uh starting point, let's say, um, especially when you've got all that experience behind you.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. And I agree with what you said, because when I was 18, 19, there was another big moment of my life. But I went to India for a year and a half and I learned yoga, and that journey ended up here in Bali.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:When I was 20 years old. And I was very called to become a yogi asanyasi. Like I wanted to go back to the ashram and just go through a whole year of renunciation and just it was just really that call within me. But I was also 20, you know, and I also was desired to go back to the world. And it was actually a choice because my mom came with me. We spent a month in Bali, we go back to Singapore, and my idea was to go back to India and go on that journey, or take a flight back to Europe, back to Latin America, and go back to the world, especially after a year and a half of just yogi, cleansing, everything.
SPEAKER_00:So you had a spiritual calling at a young, early age in your 20s.
SPEAKER_03:It planted the seed.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah. You go off then on a very corporate route. You end up doing great, you make a lot of money, but it's not working for you. And that that, like that girl who invited you over to take you through essentially a critical.
SPEAKER_03:Reawakening, reawakened 13, 14 years after the seed that I planted on my 20s brings you back home. Brings me back home. What a gift. And hey, I never came back to Bali since that moment. And I never thought I would come back. Because I live in a Colombia and in Europe. So like for me, it's Europe, the States, America, never this side of the world. And after the whole dark night of the soul, and I'm with the psychiatric meds, da da da, and I'm like, start doing kundalini when I'm in this hotel one day in the pool, and someone says Bali, and it just hit me. It's just some I felt something like I'm gonna go to Bali. It's just like that. And I came to Bali back on 20 in January, and then COVID hit in March or April. And a few months after being in Bali, I actually was sitting and talking down with an astrologer, and she said, This there's a cycle here. And at the end, it was like I realized that I actually my decade of go and enjoy and your what you just said, your 20s, it's over.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Now it's time to really get hands-on back into what or find your truth, or come back to yourself, or find your purpose, or start that quest.
SPEAKER_00:I I um I stumbled into yoga really casually. I'm six foot five, and my body was getting stiff from sitting over a laptop for too long. And I thought, well, yoga will be great for stretching. What I didn't realize is that yoga is essentially opening up a communication channel um with myself, uh, with my deep insight, my gut instinct, my my heart. And I I remember very casually stumbling into yoga, and then a month or two later, it it actually was really painful. It was really hard because what I find is that the more you work your body, the more you feel. And unfortunately, if you've been disregarding your body or even abusing your body by working too much, and that process is really difficult. And I remember being really frustrated. I was like, what is this yoga thing? Like, I'm I'm getting into it, it's meant to be so good for you, but all I'm feeling is more and more pain, more and more sensitivity. And it took me a long time to realize that, like, actually, the reward is the sensitivity. It may be confronting because you have to address a lot of uh unaddressed shit that you've built up over the years, but once you get over that, you learn really how to come back to yourself, how to look after yourself, and from that place you're enormously more powerful.
SPEAKER_03:That is the purification in what sense? Like I always tell the men that I work with, because sometimes it's like this is making me angry, or this is making me jealous, or I don't know where this is coming from, and I was in peace before this. And the practice never makes you, the practice stimulates what is dormant within you, which is actually what is trapping you, and it starts coming out. And can you feel it? Because the only way to heal it is to feel it, and that is a transmutation.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I've I've had these moments where you know I'm alone, I'm I should be at peace. I'm in a really beautiful environment away from distraction, and suddenly I get a wave of of depression, then a wave of aggression and frustration, and then actually complete overwhelm. And I used to think that was a really bad thing. Now I recognize it's like, no, Jamie, this space is working wonders in you. It's helping you processed unprocessed shit of your past. Exactly. And I so so much of my journey, and it's why I wanted to chat to you because a lot of my my journey was quite intuitive. I just kind of went off.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um and I a lot of the stuff that was actually the good, I judged and I raised issues with. So I got my diet got very sensitive, or I got very sensitive to my diet. That was the reward. My insides were teaching me, Jamie, this is what works for you and this is what doesn't. My body got really sensitive. Whereas before I could sit over a laptop for hours on end, I could no longer do that. Whereas I could go days without training, I could no longer do that. My body became sensitive. My mind, like I and my soul, like I found like I could talk to people that really, you know, now I just couldn't. But I found myself not being able to sit down with people that I had related with in the past, and I found that so hard, so disorientating. But now I see all of that as actually really good. And I I used to I remember just when I took, as I said, time to to myself, this just flood of emotions and this lack of peace. And I couldn't understand it. I was like, I'm I th I thought I was doing all the right things, and it was just if only someone had said, Yeah, don't worry, Jamie, it's on the other side. Just wait a little longer, and there's such a treat coming for you in time. Um yeah, but that's the purification process.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, and unfortunately, like that's we're we have the fear of feeling, and so that's why there's friction, keeping it all together, so short breathing and anxiety or stress or running away from it or running in life, avoidance, unconscious avoidance. Like, I don't have time for this, I have to do a lot of work, I have to do this, I have to do that, I have to achieve, I have to do that. But all of that is just like you just don't want to face yourself, you don't want to open that because opening that will bring you to feel all those emotions and whatever is stored within you. But that's the only way that that's that's basically why it why what the journey is about, you know.
SPEAKER_00:It's a kind of a funny one though. Like what I'm kind of thinking about as you're chatting is I let's say I look at somebody who's who's standoffish, who's grumpy, who's aggressive. Yeah. With the kind of logic that we've been sharing over the course of this conversation, it's like you're not actually grumpy or aggressive, you're hurt. Yeah. And perhaps the person that's sickly, perhaps the person that's just going through so much sickness isn't actually sickness, it's purification, it's cleansing. Yes, I thought many times I was gonna die.
SPEAKER_03:Wow. Here already in Bali. Yeah, vertigo, and like pain on my legs, and so I thought I had a tumor on my head, fears out of nowhere. Wow because I was like seeing double and I was going through a big moment here in our relationship, and it was just like opening of my wounds of receiving, yeah, and I had no idea. And you're confronted sometimes because you you you you you also talk about feeling is healing, but when the whole thing is crumbling within you, immediately you think you're sick, something is wrong. You need it's anyway, just check yourself. You need to be okay, you need to make sure. Yeah, but I did everything and I was perfect, but I was just healing and going through it. But at this point, yeah, like at this point, there is an awareness where it's like, okay, let's breathe into this, let's have compassion, let's feel it. And I know I'm okay. It's just this is coming out.
SPEAKER_00:So, your your journey then, I like kind of cut you off after Dark Knight of the Soul and Yoga. But yoga, obviously, I'm kind of hearing is really the catalyst for your journey.
SPEAKER_03:Um it becomes the tool, the catalyst to like the medicine that shows me this is the way the way out is within. And I had no idea what this technology was gonna do for me, and also intuitively, like I just felt a peace after all that dark night years, and it just started breathing and moving my body and chanting those mantras, and it was just like energy and just like a light guiding me, or finally seeing a light. So I was just like, I'm just gonna do this because also I had nothing else to do, basically. Yeah, I could not reinvent myself anymore. All the times that I reinvent myself, this time was in there was no more option for me to do that.
SPEAKER_00:This this comes up a bit for me, like self-help books, and actually too many teachers. There's a point now where I'm coming to, which is very much following this philosophy of like stop looking externally for inspiration, close the book, yeah, sit within, yeah, uh own within. So, what I mean by that is like for years, my challenge was my following the background, apologies, but my my challenges came up like let's say relationally, either socially with friends or with partners. And what when I reflect back on like years uh years ago, I I think about this idea of like me trying to strategize how do I date this girl, or how can I make the perfect date, or you know, what's the way to have this conversation? And I I used to kind of brainstorm my chat with a friend and almost read a book on it. And I I I love let's say what we talked about, taking the layers of oh, taking all of that out and just coming to the point of why would I ever want to foster love from performance? Why would I ever want to have I create a world where I have to be something other than what I am? And and shame on anybody around me who poked and prodded and pushed me in that direction. Um and I love now this this this lightness that's come that that's come or this uh yeah, this freedom that I've given myself to to show up however I am, and this peace that if well somebody doesn't like it, that's great. Go away, go on. And if somebody else does, that's great because well, they're truly loving me for who I am, not anything other than that.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um but yeah, I so I'm I'm almost having kind of gone through that journey when I look at a book and it's like, hey, you should live like this, and this is a great yeah. Or when somebody speaks to me and they're like, do this, do that, do the next, do the next, I find myself repulsed. I find myself revolted because I'm like, I've been I've been through the consequences of subscribing to somebody else's narrative. Yeah. Um, whereas I like like what's come from what you shared and what I shared earlier is like there's a very strong difference between subscribing to what's is somebody that tells you what to do this and to do that and to the next. No, there's another that will help you tune into yourself all the more and garner those those answers from within. And that's what I'm kind of hearing from you. It's like this is a purification process, and yoga was in a was a tool for you to connect in with that that instinctual knowledge and that power, right?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, and definitely I agree and resonate with what you're saying because for me was never like learn this or do this course or sign up to this workshop or make this person your guru or this is my teacher. And when I just received when I started practicing Kundalini yoga, I was just like in the practice with so much devotion and really noticing so much in my body after a while. Like I was before a lot of my energy was down on my centers, and then I was always like looking life from my genitals, basically.
SPEAKER_00:No, tell me more.
SPEAKER_03:But that was one that was one of my my my way of moving through life, just sexualizing everything, and just this desire of sex and sex and sex, because that was one of my wounds, and that was also where my energy was stuck, basically. I thought I was horny, but I wasn't horny. My energy was just blocked because these channels was not open and it was not circulating through my body.
SPEAKER_00:Gino, there's something very, very obvious coming to me off the back of this. That when you say energy is stuck, it's just that you're living from that place in that place alone. So let's say, for example, say from a man, you're just thinking with your dick. Yeah, you're not necessarily thinking about your heart. Nope. In terms of like, yeah, it might be great to have sex with that person, but in actual fact, you'll break your heart in the process. And you're not thinking very logically in terms of all the other people that that will affect. And logically also, like intuitive discernment, intuition.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Because it's all shut down. Yeah. There's no energy, it's no moving through.
SPEAKER_00:So so when one would say blocked, you could say, look, you you're just you're completely concentrated in one state, and you're not tuning into the rest of the wisdom within, you're not coming at it from a balanced place.
SPEAKER_03:Um, yeah. So from the disconnection of the inner child or whatever your trauma was.
SPEAKER_00:Sorry, Tiago, you're gonna you're you're gonna laugh at me, right? Because there's a part of me that's going back to old processes where I had this idea of like blocked chakras, and I was meditating energetically in terms of like blasting blocks out. When I actually didn't realize it's not about blasting blocks, it's about creating connection and creating understanding and essentially coordination.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. But that is like also clearing those channels from where the energy runs, right? But it would be so easy, would be ideal if, like, okay, reconnect the channels, let's just plug them in. Energy moving through. No, they're actually blocked. There's so much, there's like archives of wounds, of wounds of hurt, of hurt. Yeah. So, what do you do with that? You turn on your fire, you channel your sexual energy to become the fuel to burn all that out and clear the channels and come back to yourself.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, because so really there's no higher energetic power within a man than his sexual energy. Because essentially, like our whole job as a being is to create more life, right? Okay.
SPEAKER_03:But when I'm not creating life, I can rebirth myself. So it's like the two directions of sexual energy.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so so when we're when we're not in the act of creating life, we have this energy inside us. And what you're suggesting is, hey, look, we can tap into this energy, we can actually use this energy to run throughout our body and clear and cleanse and birth new life within ourselves. There you go.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, that's what that's that's what I do, that's what saved me, that's what healed me. And the moment that the aha moment for me was like I've been for 30 years leaking this energy. And when you say leaking, it's essentially overindulging in your dick. Yeah. And you're and leaking because it's my life force, it's my medicine, it's my vitality, and uh, and like, or pornography, or constant ejaculation, or casual sex, not aware that this is medicine, that this is power, that if I move this up, I will start turning on myself. I will start bringing, you said basically you're operating only halfway.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so you have this energetic capacity inside you. You can give it to yourself, or you can leak it to others around you that don't even like you, that don't even respect you, which so many of us do. So many of us run around like headless chickens chasing people that really there's no reciprocated love. There's no reciprocated energy.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And you are giving yourself away. But if you are to pull yourself back and keep some of that energy for yourself, you have so much great, so much greater energetic capacity to work on yourself, to improve, to grow. And there's almost a compounding effect to that. That as you unlock other parts of yourself, as you peel back through those layers, you show up as a truer essence.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, because you're not showing up only from this part and the rest is off. Yeah. But there's there's two important things in here that I love to like tick tape. And as men, we do love from our dick. We show love. We are here to penetrate, we are here to give life and consciousness. We love with our dick. If we're really embodied, penetrate as much as you want because that's how you love, that's how you show the other that you love. You show you love with your power, with your testosterone. Basically, love with your dick.
SPEAKER_00:I love your energy. As like a Colombian man, there's such an like there's such a comfort in terms of expressing sexual energy. Yeah. Meet the Irish guy here where there's a little bit of like discomfort coming in. But you're like, your hips move there. I was like, oh well, hello, hello. Yeah, so but when we're young, is like would you just set it?
SPEAKER_03:Hide it. Shameful. Yeah. Hide your erection. Don't do it. Taboo. What does that create? Shame over my power. Over my essence.
SPEAKER_00:I remember I used to be uh my cousins always used to call me the nature boy because at any family gatherings, for some bizarre reason, I would just strip off and be running around the garden naked. And I love that memory of myself. I think it's so funny. But at a certain point I picked up the shame around that. And again, didn't quite know how to process it, so hid it away. Fast forward 10 years later, when we're all showering naked in the showers, I'm there with my swim togs on, feeling a whole load of shame. And not necessarily knowing why, but I can trace it back to that. Like, and it was weird because it was such a lovely freedom that I had in my infancy that none of my extended family or anything thought anything of it. In actual fact, it was probably a compliment, them calling me oh, the nature boy, but just the the misinterpretation in terms of how I process that led to a layer of shame that was quite a battle to get over.
SPEAKER_03:Which becomes an archive in between your dick and your heart and blocks your life for moving through. Yeah. And it creates a stagnation, and therefore it blocks it. That shame is like a layer, peeling the layers. It becomes a layer that removed that on top of confidence, on top of trust, so it's on top of my authenticity.
SPEAKER_00:Instead of thinking nothing of just stripping off and hopping into the showers, I get trapped in a whole load of thought, in overcomplicated thoughts, become burdened by them. An actual fact, the amount of energy just analyzing over this, and then actually the shame feeling of like, oh, I'm showering in my shorts while everybody else is naked. What's that about? Yeah. Well, there's a couple of other people in their shorts too. But that, yeah, yeah, what I'm really getting from you is this clarity in terms of a lot of the language of like blocks, what that actually looks like. What happens when you clean up energetic lines, not just energetically and within you, but how it look how it reflects itself in your in external world. Like what when I see the the truly embodied man that has done so much work on himself, he gracefully walks through life with such ease. There's no overcomplicated thought. Yeah. There's such beauty and clarity in terms of how he communicates. And I feel it because that the energy within that person is entangled up in over in too much thought or in too much indecision. It just flows and it's concentrated on his being his essence. And interestingly, for whatever he applies himself to, it flows so much better because there's so little complicated thought going on in the background. There's just force.
SPEAKER_03:And that is connection. Because if we are two poles also from where their energy runs. Yeah. Right? So if this is disconnected, and the other pole is off, I'm then I am neurotic. Yeah. I am not grounded. Hence the saying, yeah, you're not grounded. You're all over the place. You are all over the place because you're not grounded back into your dick, literally. Yeah. And I think that that embodied man that is confident and found himself and reconnect with himself, he loves his dick. Not from ego, oh my dick, or I love you, dick. He removed the shame and the guilt that was in this chakra energy uh part of the body, plexus, energy plexus, whatever you want to call it, genitals. So and I think the majority of men, we our main wound is around our sexuality, and it's held in our balls, in our genitals, and the door to come back to yourself is starting from your balls.
SPEAKER_00:So can I there's a bit of a story playing out in my head? Yeah. Okay, so I am five or six, I'm in school, I put up my hand, and I have this magnificent answer uh to a question that's asked. And I'm like so proud of my intellect. But in actual fact, it kind of makes others feel a little bit awkward in the class. They're like, how did Jamie know that? What's that? And I didn't get met with an applause, I kind of got met with a bit of weirdness, a bit of skepticism. And it doesn't necessarily foster me, you know, putting my hand up in the future. So I almost shut down my brain. And then I'm like, you know, a few weeks later, I'm in the playground and I really, you know, I'm overly friendly with somebody. I'm like, for whatever reason, I love them as a friend. You know, that like play school energy that you have where you're like, you have a best friend, they're the best friend in the world. Then I see my best friend playing with somebody else, and I I feel like a heartbreak. And so I shut that off too. And like when you were chatting, I was like, How did these energetic centers get shut down? Like, how did I stop thinking? Yeah, how did I stop, how did I stop feeling? And then that instinctual knowledge of like, I think something's wrong here. This doesn't stand right. Oh, would you stop being so conspiratorial? It's like, all right, okay, I'll shut that part of me down as well. Yeah. And then there is a drive, there's an essence, there's a part of me that just wants to hook up. There's a part of me that wants to fuck.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But wow, that's so bad. That's so and so I shut that part down as well. But with all these parts shut down, that energy has to come somewhere. It has to express itself, and you just has to express itself because we're sexual beings, and it comes out in pure frustration, pure disorganized disorientation, sex addiction, casual sex, or completely disconnection, both are the same.
SPEAKER_03:If I ignore completely myself and I don't even touch myself, or I forgot that I'm a sexual being, or if I'm just there throwing it away completely and to all the time. Because it needs to express itself because we are sexual beings. Yeah, that energy runs through us. So the moment we activate it, if it cannot run through the body, it has to spill out, it will come out. That's also majority of men with premature ejaculation, they activate this energy and they don't have the space and the capacity to hold that energy or circulate that energy and immediately comes out through their body. That's why then semen retention becomes a training, if well done, of starting you to hold that energy, starting to have the capacity to hold more intensity because it starts expanding your container. But as you start holding that energy, it will start then it will start healing you, it will start confronting you with what is in the space.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And that is then that healing process. But at the end, semen retention is not about retaining, it's about transmuting. At the end, the focus is not let me not ejaculate, but it's actually that is happening. But my focus is let me transmute that fuel. So have a practice, like I did without knowing. When I was doing Kundalini yoga, I had no idea I was I was starting to clear those channels and this horiness and this desperation that at some point it was like overwhelming. I wanted to be home or a birthday or something, or even with my partner, and then there is this buzzing on my balls, distorted, disconnected, and like whispering me also like open the apps, ejaculate. As soon as you're alone in home at home, uh uh porn, whatever it is.
SPEAKER_00:Sometimes you're like, Stop! This is really interesting. This is coming in the midst of your practice, like in the midst of your devotion, let's say, to your kundalini yoga practice. That actually came in one of the most big moments.
SPEAKER_01:Wow.
SPEAKER_03:When I when I but but what happened during my kundalini practice, no, in the beginning, I started having a relief without knowing. Okay. I was like, oh my god, like after a year, I just noticed there was a moment where I was like, I haven't masturbated in two, three weeks. What is going on?
SPEAKER_00:Okay, that's what I was curious about. Okay, so so we've kind of talked about a number of different layers. And the big one for me, let's say, was a physical practice. Like I started by going to the gym, and then my real spiritual kind of practice was around yoga. And what I kind of said is that like the more I kind of tuned into my body initially speaking, the more pain I felt, yeah, and the more discomfort I felt. But then little by little I felt more comfortable in my body. Then my diet kicked in, and the better I looked after my diet, very quickly, a whole lot of food sensitivities developed, which I couldn't understand. I was like, I'm looking after myself better than ever. And now this, what? But then on the other side was clarity in terms of what works for me, what doesn't, and a much better energy as a result. The sexual energy is a really interesting one. It too came to me quite intuitively. I found myself actually over here in Bali. I found myself in the midst of like looking after myself better, and then suddenly I wanted to withdraw sexually. So I no longer wanted a date. I no longer wanted a it actually, I didn't have the thought at the time, but what I found was just that I was deep in my practice and there was no want to ejaculate. And what I found was that little by little I started to build up a much greater connection with my body. So in my yoga practice, for example, so like suddenly I felt a hell of a lot more. In my meditation practice, I felt a hell of a lot more. Now I didn't know it at the time. There was a couple of times then that like I hooked up with someone and then bang, it's gone. And I lost that sensitivity. And now, little by little, a much greater sense of care around that, let's say that essence, that energy has come into my life as a result. It's kind of again funny, both intuitive, yeah. And both like didn't realize how powerful it was until it's held. Uh, and then it's something that you really want to hold on to. Like, I I didn't realize how powerful my connection was with my body, how powerful my connection was with my diet, my mind, um, and essentially my essence. Um, and when they're all in sync, like you talked about clearing the energy channels and bringing everything in sync. I feel almost superhuman sometimes when like I've got like okay, I'm looking after myself personally, professionally, energetically, sexually. You feels like we radiate on a completely different frequency altogether. Radiate because energy's moving through you. This, I wish. So a lot of this chat with you is actually I would say it's very demystifying. And there's a reason why I've gone over a few things because it's like I really want to solidify the learnings, because sometimes there's a thought that people have about like, oh, they've lost themselves on their spiritual journey. They've become a hippie, they're all you know, following yoga in India or the Himalayas. And it's like my belief was always that there is an edge in all of this. The natural fact, if you want to make your life easier, if you want to realize greater success than you thought was possible, it's in these practices, it's in figuring out how to look after your body, how to look after yourself with energy, food, how to nurture the right company around you, the one that complements you rather than holds you back, how to savor and really foster your very life force energy, um, how to clear all the distractive thoughts and complicated ideas of how you think you should be away so that actually you can just show up with true flow and presence. And my belief is that from that point, all of this becomes like a superhuman edge that allows us to realize success on a worldly basis. Um, yeah, that's that that's the kind of but the then there's the thought of well, in actual fact, when you start living like that, do you really want to spend all your time working? That that's the thing I've been really confronted by for years. I like I was very successful entrepreneurially, let's say from 20 to 30. And then I very much dedicated myself towards this path. And my feeling was is like there's an edge in this, and there has been, it's been incredible. But what I find fascinating, and it's what we talked about, that I don't think a lot of people are successful from anywhere other than a place of a wound. Now that I feel let's say quite balanced and really good, I don't want to spend all my time working.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I'm actually much more content. You don't want to sacrifice anymore, also. No, no, like for me, it reached a point also at this point, like I did this all for me, you know, like my hard inner work, liberating myself, forging myself, creating new foundations, all of this journey at the end. It's like I did this for myself, and that's that's my my gift back to myself. So can I just walk from that space, really feeling like whole and complete and not moved or pushed away from myself, from whatever that is happening outside of me.
SPEAKER_00:Could I ask you, can I poke you a bit more about premature ejaculation? Yeah, something that haunted me in my younger years when I should have been having so much fun flirting and dancing. I actually just felt such shame. And like your your note into it was that that was a disconnect essentially with uh with one's body. Um, like that one had been out of their body so much that they couldn't they couldn't hold pleasure. Is that true? Is that right?
SPEAKER_03:I would say premature ejaculation the majority of cases are with the men that I have work, um it's a sign or is a result of your unreleased trauma. Okay, the friction that you carry, the shame, the guilt. Okay, your body is in friction, you're angry. You you you also mentioned it before, like a guy that is angry and grumpy is actually wounded. Yeah, but he's like this. Yeah, that's why breath work, that's why yoga, everything is like can you remove the friction? Yeah, can you open up? Can you allow this energy or welcome this energy move through you again? So, like, can you breathe deeply? And only then, when you're open and those channels are open, your energy moves through you. And in that process of purification or removing the friction, your deal, your dick will respond, your erection will respond back again. It will be a sign of your healing, it will be a sign of your reconnection with yourself.
SPEAKER_00:So, in in kind of interpreting that and make it relatable to myself, like what I find is that okay, I was holding myself so tight because I felt I had to. I was nervous if I let myself go. Like I was quite, I was quite a messer in school. I got into loads of trouble. I was also quite cheeky. Like, if somebody said something bad to me, I'd hit them. Like I'd scrap with them because I that I just I suppose there was a more primal side to me in that regard. But little by little, that brought a lot, a lot of, let's say, punishment, a lot of detention, a lot of like uh being grounded. And so I yeah, I held myself very tightly, and there was a way I thought I needed to be. I certainly wasn't taking my clothes off at family gatherings anymore.
SPEAKER_03:I was if you're so tired, how can these energy circulate? How can if you generate a high voltage energy, you don't even you cannot even sustain it for a second, it just comes out of you. Okay, but if you're like so interesting.
SPEAKER_00:One of the things, so yeah, okay, so experiencing premature ejaculation. Another one was that if somebody hurt me, like if somebody let's say went like in my later years, like I took let's say age 15, 16, if somebody threatened me, it's like I lost that capacity to step up for myself. And in actual fact, I imploded. I could feel my energy would go up, up, up, up, up, and then I would crash. And um, it's almost that like trauma response of just like fumble. I just and that again is a lack of capacity to hold the energy that's running through me and flow with that energy and ultimately speaking do myself justice in those moments.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly, and that is the mastery, and I think that's that's that's the mastery of of embodiment or or like clearing space, facing your traumas. At the end, what it as as you are purifying, you are also building up yourself, you are also creating space, you are also forging that. So so you you can hold more energy. So then also you can that's also why at the end the way of the multi-orgasmic man is a man that moves waves of orgasms through his body without ejaculation, ejaculating because the channels are open and he can hold such an intensity and current of energy moving through him, which is feminine energy, which is chaos, which is fire, and he's there like a mountain, a masculine presence, and he's penetrating, for example, and he's holding the feminine, and he can go on and on and on, and he's breathing and moving this energy through you. The way through that, it's not technique and practice, it's clearing your blocks, yeah, and then you can hold that intensity, and that is the same intensity when life brings you something. When you lose your work, when you get when you divorced, when someone dies, when you go through a sickness, when you go through no money, whatever it is, can you hold to yourself? Can that energy move through you or you have no foundation that whatever life brings you, you crush?
SPEAKER_00:It's best thank you. Because I think a lot of the time people go, like, why why would people dedicate themselves to yoga, dedicate themselves to this practice, or keep digging at themselves and say this? Well, try multi-orgasmic living, that's pretty good. But not just that, try sit amongst chaos and be at your best self. Exactly. That was something that again, actually, even recently in my journey, like I found that I was I got sensitive, and like if somebody was aggressive around me, I would be sensitive. I I I developed a bit of a practice. I was on a treadmill. Um, I would sprint for 30 seconds and then I'd break for about two minutes. I did that five times, but when I would sprint, I would imagine up if ever I was bullied, I would bring those to me. If ever I had someone screaming at me, I'd I would imagine them up. I would imagine all these high, high times of intensity, challenge, difficulty, and I would challenge that, channel that energy into me sprinting, and I'd pump my heart up. What I found is that after 30 seconds, my heart pumping, I would be quite emotional. I'd be like feeling all of that. But I'd be in the safety of a gym. And over the next two minutes, my nervous system would calm. And what I was essentially doing was training myself to be in those high. Intensity moments and rec to uh reconnect my body with like it's okay you can come right back down and build a familiarity but also build a comfort in knowing that I can come back to base very very quickly thereafter. That was huge for me. That was huge for me in terms of metabolizing, let's say those high pressure states of like you know, one person screaming at me, two people are screaming at me, three people are screaming at me, and I can very calmly make a really good decision. Um and I I'm starting to just through our our conversation, I'm starting to see, let's say, uh that's how your trauma played out, Jamie. And I'm starting to see how like one practice in terms of self-regulating wasn't just looking at it was paying off dividends in so many other areas too.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Those that training for me, for example, was cultivating my sexual energy. Tell me more. What do you think when you are like cultivating, like non-ejaculating, maybe one week, two weeks, three weeks, and it's okay, but there's a moment where it starts burning within. That's the moment that the training starts.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:And that's when you breathe, that's when you hold that intensity. I don't think there can be a bigger intensity beyond the running, and not from say this is better or not, but you are your guru, you are your the alchemist, you have the medicine. Yeah. When you start cultivating your sexual energy fire, and you start using it for that way up and for transmutation, for clearing those channels. There's a moment that it will hit that block.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And then that's when it starts like so you have a choice, you ejaculate, or you breathe, you move, you dance, you use the transmutation practices, and then that fire opens up. Opens up the block, and it goes through you and continue, and then and the that move that moment of resistance or of pressure releases, but not because you ejaculate it, but because you liberated the block in the channel and it's and it goes moves up.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Um, can I make this practical?
SPEAKER_03:That's a medicine.
SPEAKER_00:Can I make this practical? Okay, so uh let's say a sexual experience. And the moment is heating up, it's getting exciting, it's getting fun, and I start to breathe and I start to move my body more. And I feel like I'm about to ejaculate and I'm actually like, okay, no, stop. But then we recommence. And again, I can feel my energy building, and I start to breathe and I start to move. And in actual fact, now there's whereas perhaps things may have heated up after a few minutes. Now, no, like we've been going for a lot longer. That's a threshold breaking. That's a level of, let's say, a body opening up. That's a lady reaching a new level with of access within.
SPEAKER_03:And behind that, you have work yourself to be able to be in intimacy. Yeah. Because majority use sex to release stress, to release trauma, and are running away from intimacy. So when you just say, hey, no, stop, breathe, they'll freak out. Yeah. A disconnected or wounded person that hasn't done the work in the moment when you're like, hey, relax, the friction. I'm out. This is not what I wanted. I just wanted to get off.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So and just all ready to just get there. Hey, have your partner that understands, but just communicate it, and then let's just go again and let's find other ways of connection and intimacy and role play and all of that. You've worked on yourself to feel safe, to feel open, to feel to be in yourself in order to already be in that stage. But many are not even in that stage.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I find I find my journey, like my sexual journey fascinating in terms of like I I remembered back years ago to a time when I'd only have sex if I was drinking. From what? If I would only have sex if I was drinking. Okay, yeah, exactly. Younger years. And I remember the transition of like, I don't want to have sex when I'm drinking, or I want to have sober sex and how intimidating and scary that was. Exactly. Intimidating and scary, and only with with with alcohol. And and then it's like, okay, take the alcohol out of the equation. Then it's like, okay, let's take the let's do turn the lights on. Let's actually start communicating. Um, let's start checking in, let's seeing what works, let's seeing what doesn't, let's start having the confidence to speak up for what's good for me, what's not, what's checking what's good for them, what's not.
SPEAKER_03:And then and then, yeah, and then this greater awareness of tuning into your own energy of to present yourself fully naked, authentic, as we were talking before, like I'm just being me right now and I'm no longer performing. But majority, and I was also Amanda, it was just performance. And we actually even I think we even perform more in sex than than being ourselves. And apart from sex education, which is pornography, because no one at home tells us love your dick, this is your essence, this is your power. Come back to it. It's not shameful, there's no guilt, there's no taboo, it's not a sin, your erection. Actually, love it. Like I wish my father would have told me when I was a kid. Boy, this is your power. You love your dick. You look at it, you grab it, you feel proud of because that is your essence, that is your power, and you feel free. And when you are erected, that is the that is like the celebration of your energy, and you are carrier of consciousness, which is your semen, and that is so much power in there. And when you don't create life, you can turn it inward, it blah blah blah.
SPEAKER_00:It's it's it's it shouldn't it you know there's a there's a whole load of different narratives going in, like you just even sharing that with me, and your eye contact and your passion. There's a part of me that feels a little bit confronted and a little bit awkward, but the other part of me is like, this is fucking brilliant, and why didn't I grow up with this sense of self-awareness and self-respect and self-care? Yeah, and why have I had to feel around in the dark for so many years to get to this point? And it's not just me, it's the masses. The masses. Why are we disconnected from our essence? Exactly.
SPEAKER_03:Thank you. Yeah, that's what it is, and that's and and what we also spoke at at some point when I was telling you we love from our dick and we want to penetrate. So when you were saying also uh leaking the energy and just like sleeping with this, sleeping with the other, but then we just we're looking for that love. We want to show how much we love and we want to receive the love back. So also behind the promiscuous person, the the casual sex, the sex addict, the sex, the addicted to sex is the biggest hole, the biggest wound looking for love. This man just wants to be loved and loved back. Yeah, but there's a disconnection to the heart, and that's why this is just looking where is the heart, where is the love? Yeah, but the only way is that he comes back to himself, and once this connection is done, is established, then penetrate as much as you want because you penetrate from the wound, from the shame, from the guilt, or you penetrate from the heart. And the majority penetrate from the wound.
SPEAKER_00:Let me make that practical. Sorry. So that the more in tune with my heart I am, the more in tune I am with what's right for me. The more I care for myself, the more discernment I have in terms of who I connect with. And the greater capacity for that connection. Whereas if there's no heart, if it's just pure dick, in actual fact, that connection is going to lack the very lacking of care and respect and love that I have for myself. Yeah. Okay. So simple, makes so much sense. And then obviously there's the logical side to it. There's the head, there's in the instinctual, the future vision of like, yeah, I might feel great with this in this connection, but in actual fact, let's look at the future of it. Let's look at let's look at the trajectory of the way that would. So you can be very true in your heart and true in your dick, but you might and you might have some fantastically passionate connections and some lovely connections, but they won't go anywhere because they're missing the vision, they're missing the perspective, or they're just missing the logical groundwork. So when we bring our our varying energy centers into connection, it very obviously changes the way in which we connect and it brings about a greater sustainability or a greater capacity for those connections. Yeah, that is so obvious.
SPEAKER_03:And I it's the full circle. I have many men that come to me because they want to have better erection, they don't want to do, they don't want to have uh premature ejaculation, they want to be better in sex. And once we start the training, they realize it's a spiritual training. Yeah, it's facing your wounds.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So because once you clear those channels and you come back to your heart, once you've done that part, then you become that multi-orgasmic man, actually.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, let me ask you do you think the hardness of a man's dick is in direct correlation to the level at which he loves himself? Yeah. Yeah, me too. Me too. There are times when I've been depressed and I just wouldn't feel like I got hard. Like I just, I'm, I'm, I'm just so down. And then there are times where I am ecstatic in myself. I unfortunately go through quite volatile up and down sometimes. And I would recognize, like, when I'm part of them, I'm like, oh my God, hello there. Where the hell did you come from? It is, I think a lot of the time people think it's like you're one thing or the other. And an actual fact, what I recognize is we're very fluid beings. We we change uh obviously as we change. Um, I also think that about physically, like we obviously, you know, you can recognize when somebody's down, you can recognize when somebody is happy. Our emotions reflect themselves in ourselves physically so truly. And once you kind of tune your eyes to see this, you can't unsee it. You know the person that's down, you know the person that's in flow. And of course, it's going to then reflect itself in terms of their sexual performance. The way you feel about yourself it will show up in your erection. Yeah. And so, yeah, people would no doubt be coming to you with challenges in terms of premature ejaculation, are are their erection, are just their performance full stop. And yeah, of course, it is a whole spiritual journey centered around self-love. Coming back to truth.
SPEAKER_03:It's lovely, yeah. And when when we spoke about like that authenticity, that feeling whole, like just being yourself, it must you must also have feel in the same way with your genitals and with your sexuality.
SPEAKER_00:Um I feel a bit bold asking this, and you can be like, Jamie, I'm not giving away my secrets, but can I ask, what does your own personal practice look like?
SPEAKER_03:In terms of in terms of you nurturing your best self? I think that's my lifestyle. Okay. It reflects itself in every aspect of it. In every aspect, but living in Bali, uh the way I eat, the way I take the sun every day, the way I do my gym, the way I also self-pleasure almost every day, the way I touch myself, the way I dance, the way I move.
SPEAKER_00:I feel very bad, but I would love to ask you about your self-pleasure practice. Is that comfortable?
SPEAKER_03:No, absolutely not.
SPEAKER_00:I don't think I've ever asked a friend, hey, could you talk to me about how you self-pleasure? But I be I'm actually very curious. Tell me.
SPEAKER_03:So on my tantric journey of rediscovering myself, uh, I start learning and reading and the practice of making love to myself. And I was like, what do you mean making love to myself? And after exploring and actually making love to myself, I think it's actually like has been one of the most amazing times that I have ever had sex. And I was so amazed that it was with myself. Like, you know, when you had sex, you know, can can you remember when was like if I tell you, do you remember the best sex in your life?
SPEAKER_00:There's a couple of like there's a couple of memories competing with each other.
SPEAKER_03:You stay there for a month, or you're like, man, I just had the best sex of my life. Yes. And you speak about it like for a week or two, and then okay, you can you can let it go. Yeah, I had that with myself, and I was like, wow.
SPEAKER_00:My imagination is running wild. Okay, please tell me.
SPEAKER_03:It was wild, I mean for sure. Yeah, but the more and that's the more you know yourself, the more you discover yourself, the more you remove all this shame, whatever it is, and you're able to see yourself, to feel yourself, right? So I think that's very fulfilling, and it's definitely medicine, and it's definitely very sovereign because at that point, it's like you want someone, but you don't need it, and there's a lot of sadness in many people, women and men, that they desire, they they they craved being touched, they craved being penetrated, not just that, but being mad, being mad, but also if we're talking about sex, they crave that touch, they crave that pleasure, but they don't understand that is like touch yourself, bring your hand down to your genitals, activate that. You actually are the one who knows or find out or bring into your awareness and in words how you like to be touched. Because some you know, but you never said it, and you help you, you you hope that your partner finds a way, but you're afraid to speak it out. But actually do that work with yourself and find out what are your arousal points, find out like go there and like it's it's there for you. Can you self-source pleasure for you? Because you don't need to reach your genitals to feel like basically even oral sex, or you don't need to like be penetrated to really feel penetrated or feel like you're penetrating in this moment of energy an alchemy with yourself, you feel that times 10, actually.
SPEAKER_00:Do you know that there's so many bloody different memories now flow flowing through my head as I'm trying not to get distracted, imagining into your sexual practice? My apologies. Oh god. But I am thinking like Bali introduced me to a whole tantric philosophy, which I thought was beautiful, where it was like, Jamie, take yourself on a date. Like, what about mood lighting? What about beautiful music? What about sensual clothes? What about sensual sheets? Yeah. What about like giving yourself a massage? What about your own breath work? Yeah. What about meditating? Like taking time to meditate, to clear your energy, to then really tune into your body, to then work your energy up from there, to breathe into it. One of the most fascinating things I I what are let's say things or challenges I worked through was uh porn and fantasy. Okay, so I went, I'm going to excuse myself here by saying I went to an all-boys boarding school for six years, 12 to 18, where we got out once a month. And uh and so porn and fantasy would have been a big part of that call, that school experience. And what I found is that, like, when you are pleasuring yourself to firstly porn, it's something outside of yourself, and in actual fact, you are fostering disconnection, I believe. I'm curious to catch you. Okay, cool. The other then was fantasy that when you are pleasuring yourself to fantasy, you're tuning out of your body and you're tuning into your head. Yeah, and so you're reducing your capacity to feel exactly okay. So, again, quite intuitive practices for me, but I knew at a certain point I was like, wow, porn is doing me an enormous disservice, it is tuning me out from my body and tuning me out for my capacity to feel uh similar. Yeah, I'm actually hijacking desires as well, because it yeah, that was that that's pretty toxic. But then with regards to fantasy, as well, it's tuning me out of my body, and so what I found myself doing was not even self-pleasure, but literally like just rubbing my fingers across, let's say my knee and be like, Jamie, bring yourself into your body. Can you feel that? That is the beginning.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, like I went to the to the goal when you asked me about like what's my my my the way that I connect with myself, but has come from there also. Yeah, it's not immediately that you can make love to yourself, it's from a journey where you just start bringing your awareness to your body, and even if it's that with that finger and just like feeling your you've feeling your your skin, feeling the movement, whatever is happening, feeling the breath, inducing the body, becoming that sensibility to the oils, to the essence, to the music, to the date, everything that you mentioned before are the layers or the the way that you start like become uh allowing yourself to feel and to feel comfortable. And those are like the steps so that it can take you actually to a beautiful love making with yourself because it's a it's a discovery and it's sensitivity.
SPEAKER_00:I feel I actually feel slightly emotional as we're having this conversation because for for a long uh time in engaging with a partner or something, I would wonder why would my head jump to fantasy? Why would it disconnect from the intimacy that I'm sharing with somebody and jump to fantasy? And it's like, why do you think you train that behavior for ages with any sense of sexual pleasure, you change yourself trained yourself to think to fantasy? And like I think as well when it comes to like sexuality, there's so much pre sorry, not so much pressure, there's so much um complication and solution. It's like again, for me, it feels very obvious that of course, if you train your body when you're engaging in any level of sexual pleasure to be fantasizing, whenever it comes up, you're going to be pulled away from intimacy. Whereas on the other side, you can train your body to connect all more with your body in intimacy, in as simple as a little experience of rubbing your finger up and down your arm or your leg. I for years thought, oh my god, I have such a there's such a problem. What's wrong with me? I do I need to go to counseling, do I need to go to a therapist? Which I actually went to and got absolutely nowhere.
SPEAKER_03:And because he's so much taboo, so much you don't even know where to start, and you're quiet to even express that you want to feel connected with your cock.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I I'm really curious of like when this podcast goes out. Yeah. Because I'm always met in two parts. One is like, oh, that was a great conversation, and then another part is like shamed. Yeah. And it's like, oh, but I but that for me is the really curious one of how let's say, because there's a fractional level of discomfort having this conversation. Remember, fact that's so dwarfed by the intrigue. But the kind of the thing that's going on in my head is like, like, I just I wish I was having these conversations 20 years ago. And I don't understand why we're not. I don't understand it's not so much that I don't understand that we're not. The bigger thing is I don't understand why society is actually pulling us away from ourselves and everything.
SPEAKER_03:That's where your power is. And you reclaim your power. Then you are unstoppable. You are a sovereign man. But if you are disempowered, I can manipulate you. I can keep you in fear. I can keep you trapped. I can keep you in the matrix. I can keep you asleep.
SPEAKER_00:So do you think that's actually a because I I'm more and more I just find it impossible not to think that societally we have been hijacked.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And that there is actual conscious thought strategy and engineering around our society to pull us away from our essence. When you have a site like Pornhub, which is free, and when you have like the dramatic sexualization of people, which is just a given, it's actually empowering. Like as in like you have like girls walking around with these enormously accentuated asses and guys and everything. We're we're we're we we are a enormously sexualized society and that's okay. But in actual fact, what it's really doing is disorientating us all is to keep you disempowered.
SPEAKER_03:So when a man learns how to master his sexual energy, how to take his power back, he's immediately out of the hunger games. Yeah. And he's a man of power, and he can no longer be manipulated. Here's to taking our power back. Exactly. And that's why this is very important. And I think that men's work without sexuality is incomplete. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I I actually I don't know how I like I I remember somebody asked me, somebody close to me was like, Why do you do so much work in sexuality? And I was like, Because it's at the heart of everything, everything reflects from your sexuality, and if you're not looking there, you're blind. Yeah, um, I don't understand how let's say life coaches will do a course over a couple of weekends, call themselves a life coach, and it's like, no, you have like unless you're gonna deep dive into let's say the tantric world or the sex holistic sexology space, you're there's just such an enormous space that's just blocked.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely, and although there is tantra at some point, and there's the yoga and everything, still there is a big lack of just bringing the consciousness and the awareness to the man that his sexual energy is his medicine. And that and that look into it. Maybe your yoga course or whatever therapy or whatever you're doing is not based on that. But it doesn't make sense at the end because as long as that person keeps leaking energy, has no life force energy to really come back to whatever he's seeking and looking after, and healing needs life force. Going in your hero journey and reclaiming yourself needs life force. You need vitality to go and face your demons and go and face your shadows and go and go through the journey of darkness and shadows and bring the light within. You need vitality for that, and the vitality is literally in your balls. So if you're trying to, if you want to embark that journey or you're doing your yoga training and all of that, but you go back to your hotel or to your apartment and you just turn on porn and ejaculate, and then next day, eight hours of yoga, you're doing nothing.
SPEAKER_00:Actually, I remember the biggest thing for me when I really caught onto it was that I realized um I would feel hung over after ejaculating. Oh yeah. And like I remember one of the big things for me was giving up drink, and that helped me heighten my sensitivities in all areas, other areas of life. But I remember it became almost a habitual, like daily masturbating. But then when I stopped every so often, I would notice the days the energy I'd have would be different, and then the days that are resumed the the the hangover the next day. And so yeah, and I I noticed as well. If I'm looking to let's say bounce out of a burnout phase, it's quite interesting, like the way I tidy up my diet. But one of the key immediate things I will do is stop any sexual energy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And you you say leakage. You've you you mentioned many times sensitivity, yeah. Because you were numb. Yeah, that's the key, that's the point. I was so numb that I didn't feel. Yeah. I had so much friction that I didn't have flow.
SPEAKER_00:I and then when I did start to feel, I was so uh not used to feeling that it was like panic responses, foam responses.
SPEAKER_03:It's the same with vitality. I'm so used to running fumes and live in a hungover state that I forgot what is to have vitality.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And vitality running through you is radiance, is magnetism, it's glow, yeah, it's attractive. And for a man that has his energy, when he steps in a room, he's felt. People look back. Regardless of your look, is your energy speaks from you. Yeah, and when you have that, you speak from there, and that is the presence, and that's the embodiment. So I I I loved, like, I remember on my after everything I did my trainings, and there was this one of the the teachers she was talking about. Like, we're like Christmas trees full of light. That's when we like when in the beginning of the journey or when we are kids or something, let's say. It's like a Christmas tree full of lights. Then the traumas and the experiences and all of that start turning off these lights. So we find ourselves at some point where we're just running in fumes or running in this hangover state, or like out of all the lights, there's just like a quarter of it. So when we start coming back to ourselves and igniting ourselves and turning on ourselves and bringing this life force energy again around through us, we start turning on ourselves back. Like all these lights start turning on again. And that's the radiancy, and that's the vitality, and that's the magnetism.
SPEAKER_00:If I take that a step forward further, it's like, and then when you really get things right, this star at the top of it just starts shine so bright. I have this people more recently, because I I've I've really dipped into my own personal practice, particularly over the last four or five weeks. It was so nice bumping into friends, and they're like, oh, I see that sparkle in your eyes is back. And I was like, thank you, thank you so much. Because I do feel like we um we're much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for.
SPEAKER_03:And then thriving is gone. We said we don't want to work that much anymore. So turn on yourself and have that star because that will magnetize everything. So you don't have to, you're not running in fumes and in hungover state with a almost off Christmas tree, or like with three lights, and you want attention, you want work, you want to shine, become the diamond, turn on everything. That's a beautiful thing.
SPEAKER_00:Because I did, yeah, I gave to that idea that like I can't I leaned into a lot of this for a professional and entrepreneurial edge. But the more I've done it, the more the less I've actually really wanted to work. But the interesting thing is that my growth has, let's say, exceeded that, and so I find myself getting to work much, much less, but be much more profitable and efficient and productive in the time that I spend, and so I still do grow.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, for me, it really shifts completely, and I share it, but it's not like my main mantra. But for me, the secret for me where I do the work is in shining, is in my radiance, yeah, it's not in the marketing strategy, it's not in burning in the computer and sitting in a desk 10 hours or creating strategies or whatever to bring clients and to sell out and and burn out. No way. For me, it's my sleep, it's my food, it's my sun, it's my daily practice, it's feeling so healthy and connected and wealth within and feeling this magnetism and this radiance. That's where I put my energy. And that pays off.
SPEAKER_00:You embody the very thing that I've shared so many times in this podcast that as an entrepreneur and just as a person, full stop, you're your most valuable resource. And the level at which you care for yourself reflects itself in everything else you're involved in. So for whatever is going on in your life, it's all the more reason to take yourself more seriously with more care, more love, more attention.
SPEAKER_03:And that programmation that you just have to like do, do, do, do, do, and you forget about feeling, and you forget about being, and you have to run, and you're comparing with others, and you're in competition, and you have to make more, and you have and you're so far away from yourself that at some point the body just breaks down.
SPEAKER_00:I have to say thank you. I feel so complete. I feel like I've got like a yeah, a mountain of kind of one like real um real clarity, uh, but also kind of conviction behind a lot of my intuitive journey that I went on. And it's like, oh wow, that didn't come from nowhere. In actual fact, it's really backed up. Um so thank you. Thank you for having the conversation we have and exploring the subjects. Really cool.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, thank you, bro. I love this. Thanks so much. Pleasure.