A Paraplegic Mom On Labour, Birth, And Recovery. With Ryan Rae Harbuck

FTV; 

She didn’t feel contractions, and she still delivered two healthy babies. That single fact opens a door most of us never think about: what happens when the usual pregnancy and postpartum “signals” are quiet or missing, and the system is built for people who feel everything?

I have the pleasure of talking to  Ryan Rae Harbuck. 

She is a swim coach, mom of two, and author of *When I Grow Up, I Want to Be a Chair*. 

Ryan is paralysed from around the rib cage down, and she walks us through the real logistics of a paraplegic pregnancy and wheelchair motherhood, from shifting centre of gravity and harder transfers to swelling, circulation issues, and the constant question of labour detection.

Her first birth begins with a shocking discovery at a routine appointment: she’s already in active labour with no clear internal alarm. After delivery, a postpartum tear and MRSA infection reveal another critical risk when pain isn’t available as a warning sign.

We also dig into what actually helps: relentless self-advocacy in health care, planning that still leaves room for surprise.

And she mentions some adaptive parenting gear that makes daily life safer and easier, including baby-wearing, a FreeWheel-style wheelchair attachment, and an accessible crib design.  

You can find Ryan every where.

Her website
Instagram and Facebook

You can find her book at all major retailers, including Amazon, by going to this page and selecting your favourite retailer.

In the news this week  I talk about an experience one of my clients had with NMN. 

I have addressed NMN supplementation before and my client's experience highlights the issue I raised before about dosage. Here is a little article where you can find some more information on rising oestrogen levels.

As always; HPNB only has 5 billing cycles.

So this means that you not only get 3 months FREE access, no obligation!

BUT, if you decide you want to do the rest of the program, after only 5 months of paying $10/£8 a month you now get FREE LIFE TIME ACCESS! That's $50 max spend, in case you were wondering.

Though I'm not terribly active on  Instagram and Facebook you can follow us there. I am however active on Threads so find me there!

And, of course, you can always find us on our YouTube channel if you like your podcast in video form :)

Visit healthypostnatalbody.com and get 3 months completely FREE access. No sales, no commitment, no BS.

Email peter@healthypostnatalbody.com if you have any questions, comments or want to suggest a guest/topic          

 Playing us out this week;  All over you by VAULTZ 

Transcript

From The Vault Setup

Peter 0:00

Hey, welcome to the Healthy Post NATO Body Podcast. If you're postnato expert Peter Lapp that, as always, would be me. This is a podcast for the 15th of June 2026. And I'm bringing you a From the Vault episode from May 2022. That I did with Ryan Ray Harbak, who's an amazing person. She wrote a book, When I Grow Up, I Want to Be a Chair. She's a mother of two swim coach and a paraplegic. And she talks to me about her experience of being pregnant, giving birth, and early postpartum stages whilst being a paraplegic. It's a it's an insight. You're gonna love this story. Um it's an insight, as Dinky snores, uh, into the into a world which most able-bodied people like myself, you wouldn't even consider it, you know. Um, so with you, like I said, this is a mind-blowing interview. I absolutely loved every bit of this. Your world as well. So without further ado, here we go.

Life In A Wheelchair

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Sure, absolutely. Um, first off, um I'm paralyzed from about the rib cage down.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Um, meaning that I and I I can't have, I don't have any feeling or any movement from that area down. But um, I was in a car accident when I was 16, so I pretty much spent, I have spent most of my life in a wheelchair being paralyzed. Um, I push a manual wheelchair, so you know, no electronic devices, um, just didn't about my normal everyday. Um, and so when I got pregnant, um I the first thing I did is I went and I checked every single forum, Google item, blog, everything I possibly could to find not a lot of information about women that had been um paralyzed and pregnant. Um and uh it wasn't very uncommon for my normal life. My normal, my you know, my everyday life has has been um, you know, something that I have discovered on my own in terms of what I can do or can't do, um, trial and error things about just not being able to feel the way an able-bodied person does or move the way an able-bodied person does. And so um when I when I came up with kind of zero answers to how this pregnancy was gonna go, I wasn't that surprised. And um, but it didn't necessarily make me feel any better. And and it was the first experience that I had where it wasn't just me that was going through that blindly. You know, now I now I had a baby growing inside of me, and it was that baby too that was going to possibly suffer for the lack of knowledge. And um, and so that was a that was a kind of a turning event for me because um I'd always been um, it was always just me. And it was, oh, oh, I have this challenge or I have this um hindrance in front of me, but now but now it wasn't just me anymore. And so um, so that was a really interesting um time for myself. And and I think I actually became a better self-advocate during that time because hey, now there was this baby that we needed to take care of. Um, and so I had an OB that was really great in terms of um she was good that she understood that I knew my body, and she was a really good cheerleader for me and said, you know, I think that you're going to go full term and you're going to have a normal pregnancy and a normal labor and delivery. And she was very, very confident that my body was healthy enough and even more healthy than some able-bodied people. And and and so that was encouraging. And it's, you know, there was always something in the back of my head that was kind of like, yeah, but what if it's not? Or but, you know, and as um as my pregnancy continued on through second and third trimester, um, it was a very typical pregnancy. I didn't experience a lot of side effects or anything that was really notable as my belly grew. My mobility got a little bit more challenging. Um, one thing, I don't have a lot of trunk muscles anyway. Um, and so then um trying to transfer myself from, say, my chair to the bed became a little bit tricky because my center of gravity was different. Um, and then just even just having that belly in front of me to push up, to push my wheelchair up a hill, I have to lean forward to give myself, you know, the best kind of push to and and in the right sort of trajectory. And so having that belly made pushing up hills a lot more difficult. Um, I had a lot of swelling and um really poor circulation in my legs, even more so than normal. And so I was constantly having to put my legs up and make sure that I was moving them with my arms to give them some good blood flow. Um, but other than that, there was really not that much to note in terms of my

Pregnancy Changes Mobility And Circulation

SPEAKER_00 5:40

pregnancy. But there was always that lingering question as to whether or not I was going to be able to know I was in labor. I was going to be able to feel contractions. Um, so I can't feel my stomach outwardly. I can't feel the skin on it. But if there's uh if I have a stomach pain, a stomach ache, I can feel that, but I can't necessarily say what that pain is. Um is it hunger? Is it I'm full? Is it I have a stomach problem? You know, I they all kind of feel the same. Um, I also get spasms in my stomach on occasion when my when some part of my body is uncomfortable, my stomach will spasm. And so my stomach was always moving anyway, and we couldn't really determine whether those were contractions or the baby was just moving, or it's just my normal spasms. And there wasn't really any way for me to figure out the difference between any of it. Um, and so you know, as I was nearing like 36, 37, 38th week, I was getting really, really antsy about um whether or not I was going to know I was in labor. Um at the time, my husband and I were living in the mountains, and so the nearest hospital was um almost an hour away.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

Right.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

Um, and so at that point, my OB had me coming in about once a week to kind of check on things, hook me up to a contraction monitor. Um, and so one morning we had an appointment. Um, my husband and I uh coach a swim team, and so we had our morning practice, we coached together, then we left and we went to this appointment. And it was sort of this, you know, the same conversation, the same banter that we always had back and forth with my OB, where she was saying, like, oh, I know you're gonna go full term, everything looks great, your pregnancy is going great. Why don't we just go ahead and check?

Labor Without Feeling Contractions

SPEAKER_00 7:33

And um, and so she did an exam, and I will never forget the look on her face. She stood straight up and she said, I feel hair, you need to go to the hospital. And so it was the first day of my 38th week of pregnancy, and I was in active labor and I had no idea. I had pains, I had no um, you know, no remarkable sensations in my stomach, nothing. And um, so luckily, um, luckily we had that appointment. Luckily, we had enough time. We got to the hospital just fine. And um, that was an interesting experience in and of itself for me because I've been in the hospital various times for various reasons, but I've never been in the hospital for something good. And so it was the first time I had actually like gotten to into this hospital room, and there were framed pictures on the wall and beautiful floral prints and things, and it was just like, oh, this is so magical. I could be here forever. And, you know, and I remember they hooked me up to the contraction monitor, and so at that point I could watch the monitor while I was having a contraction, and I there was nothing in my body that was giving me a signal saying this is what's happening. Um, and so that was pretty scary. But at that point, you know, I was in really good hands. Um all along, my OB wanted me to try to um deliver the baby naturally, which I was completely up for. And so there was a team um alongside sort of waiting just in case that wasn't gonna um happen because we didn't really know how much I would be able to push or not. Um, but the the labor itself progressed pretty quickly. And um, I think we were admitted at like, I don't know, like 10:30, 11 in the morning. And um my baby was born at 3 p.m. And um I was able to connect my brain and body just enough to be able to push, and I can't even tell you exactly what connected or what I was able to figure out. Um at the last second, uh my baby's blood pressure dropped, and so they did use a vacuum to um to get him out all the way. And but he was born, he was completely healthy, um nothing wrong with him, and you know, completely thriving. Um, it was you know a very remarkable experience because unlike most women, I had no pain involved. It was just this very quiet, natural procedure um within this room. Um I did, however, I um I experienced a tear from the delivery. And um after, you know, I think I spent a night or two in the hospital and then we went home as a

Delivery And A Quiet Birth

SPEAKER_00 10:26

family. And um a couple days later I just didn't feel right. And um I had actually developed a what they call a MRSA infection. And so I was I was put back in the hospital for about a week, and that was really, really rough. Um, luckily, I was able to go back to that same labor, labor and delivery ward um and was able to get the infection under control there. And they I was able to have my baby with me alongside. Um, and so everything, everything ended up fine, wonderful. Um, but that was a little bit of an scary experience. And I think um, you know, the reason why it got so bad is because I didn't actually feel the pain from it. It didn't signal it to me to say, hey, I think there might be something wrong here. This is not just like normal healing stuff.

MRSA Infection After Going Home

SPEAKER_00 11:15

Um, and so that was my first pregnancy with my first child, and I have two children. And so, gosh, when I got pregnant with my second kid, you know, the only thing I kept telling myself is you can't feel contractions, you're not gonna know in your labor. We need to get this figured out. And I, you know, myself, I'm a very planned, organized. I need to know what's happening, what we're doing, um, just to sort of feel sane. And it was a really, really hard time for me because as much as I wanted to plan for not knowing when I was going to have my baby, I couldn't plan for it. And um I had the same OB, and she did agree that she would induce me the first day of my 39th week, which was, you know, she was like, that's the safest option. Um, she didn't want to do it any earlier, and I understood that didn't really make me feel that much better considering my firstborn was born earlier than that. But but it was at least something. It was at least something that I could sort of plan for. Um, and so I mean, but I didn't sleep very well that entire pregnancy. I would constantly wake up in the middle of the night and like feel the sheets to see if there was a baby. Because I, in my head, I was gonna have a baby in my sleep and I wouldn't have known. Um, and so, you know, it's life is very silly sometimes and it teaches you lessons that you don't even know you need to learn or want to learn. Um, and so I had this scheduled induction for the first day of my 39th weekend. I had, you know, everything planned out. Um, my my kid went to my dad's house to spend the night the night before. My husband and I coached a swim meet, and then we went out to dinner to kind of psych celebrate. And the whole time, that whole day before my induction, I kept having this weird side pain. And I sort of chalked it up to how the baby was positioned in me because I don't have a ton of space available. And so he was constantly sitting on one side or the other, and you could, it was really visible. I didn't have that like perfect pregnant belly. It was sort of like this like weird shape of baby. And um, and so I just kept remarking throughout the day, like, oh, it's just like feels so funny. He's sitting, he must be like snugged up in my rib or something. And um, but you know, kind of continued about my day and didn't really think much about it. Um, the next morning I told my husband, like, don't come to the hospital right now. I've everything I've read said these inductions take forever. And so sort of went in. I drove myself to the hospital sort of leisurely. I remember I got a you know, a coffee drink on the way in and was kind of still feeling that pain. And and now it was I could feel it in my teeth, and I thought that was so bizarre. And so I checked into the hospital and started telling the nurse about, you know, I do have this like weird feeling, but you know, whatever. So she said, well, I took you up to the contraction monitor, and they did, and sure enough, I was in active labor and my child was born two hours later. And so um, you know, I had tricked myself. I had told myself, I can't feel contractions, I won't know that I'm in labor. And so I completely ignored it. And and shame on me, because my body was actually telling me something, this baby was telling me something. And had I not completely turned off the idea that I could feel I I mean, I there was I just went with the fact that I couldn't feel anything, and I um was very, very extremely lucky for the second time that we were already at the hospital and you know that this baby was he was waiting, just waiting to come out.

Second Pregnancy And Another Surprise Labor

Peter 14:59

Yeah, it's fascinating because I'm um I mean if you had a group of postnatal experts, personal trainers, and all that sort of stuff on from a biopec my biomechanical perspective, we'd all just about nerd out right now. We'd all lose our minds at how I mean there are if if I had a personal training podcast, we'd just be talking biomechanics. Did you feel this? Did you feel that? Did you do you think this muscle engaged? Because obviously you're you're if if you're coaching a swim team, then you'll have quite a lot of knowledge about how the core moves and and and which muscles hit where and all that sort of stuff. Um, but you know, my listeners are predominantly women, they don't give a shit about me being a nerd, they just don't care, so it's it's it's fascinating. So, do you think from a um because it's difficult, right? Because what I found was when I talked to um differently abled people about um there's such a wide variety. I think let's let's be very blunt. Us able-bodied people, we're straight down the middle. We all kind of work the same way, 90-95% of the time at least. There are some changes, differences. But when because there are so many differences in in differently able people, less able people, whatever you want to call it, um that it's difficult for the system to be set up adequately uh to help you really through that procedure. I mean, I know a bit about of course the the American healthcare system. In the UK, it's slightly better with regards to it's cheaper. Um but the problems are pretty similar across both um across both industries. And when you talk about your your tear afterwards, that to me sounds like the sort of thing that there are easy lessons to learn for hospitals in in that particular case. I think we need to check, we need to keep people, uh we need to keep women maybe for an extra day. We need to do a slightly more invasive check than we would do on uh on people who do have feelings down there. Because if you if you don't have that sensation, then we need to be aware of it. And it's easily missed. It's do you think that the hospital because I think you went to the same hospital the second time? I did, yes. Right? So do you think the hospital learned the message from that first pregnancy from the from that first infection, for instance?

SPEAKER_00 17:43

I mean, I would I would like to think so. So my pregnancies were five years apart. Um and so, you know, much of the staff wasn't there the second time that were there the first time. But I think that um I mean I mean, if the hospital itself didn't learn, I think those individuals did learn. And I think I I certainly learned. I I knew from that first pregnancy that, you know, hey, we need to make sure that everything is good before I leave. And um and and there wasn't really, I mean, I I obviously I knew that because I had a tear that there was always a risk of infection, but I didn't really think beyond that. I didn't really think, oh, well, you might be at a higher risk because you can't feel. And so to really like pay attention, I didn't really think about that the first time. And I think that perhaps had somebody said, hey, you know, this is a real risk factor, and you know, maybe pay more attention, then maybe I would have connected that slightly earlier. Um, but I think, I mean, you hit the nail on the head saying that, you know, every injury is different. I have a spinal cord injury, and and there could be another woman sitting next to me with the same exact level of spinal cord injury that's gonna have a completely different experience with pregnancy. And um, and so that just is that's what's so tricky is you know, I don't blame any of the medical professional for not knowing more because it's such a broad spectrum. And, you know, you learn what you do about one person, and it's gonna be a completely different story for another individual. And and so that's it makes it so challenging that way to find um people that really do know what's gonna happen or how to walk you through that. Um and I think that, you know, if I to offer advice to a woman that may be um paralyzed or have a disability that's that's thinking about becoming pregnant or is pregnant, I think the best thing that you can do is just really advocate for yourself and your needs. Um and you know, you almost have to act the part of a scientist, a biologist, an anatomist, um, to and really understand the way that things work in order to make sure that you're getting the care that you need.

Hospital Systems And Self-Advocacy

Peter 20:07

Yeah, no, that that makes complete sense because um yeah, I wasn't trying to um insinuate that the doctors were like incapable or or or anything like that. Um what what I what I come across an awful lot, um we know there's medical bias against women, anyways. And I know I say this as a middle-aged white guy, right? I'm I'm I'm top of the tree. If I go to the doctor, I'm gonna get exactly what I want. That's what all the studies show us. And then uh women go to doctors and they get a slightly different response because you know you're all hormonal, air quotes there for the listeners that can't see it. And then, you know, people of color go to the doctor and they get a completely different sort of service uh experience, anyways. But what what what we come across a lot, and this is kind of what what you mentioned in the beginning, is that you have to figure out so much for yourself when you're outside the the realm of uh without when you're outside that that that 90 or that that 90 percent of people that are straight down the middle, just average. Um and it would probably it's when I talk to people, what they what they tell me a lot is uh I had to stumble across a certain book written by someone who had a similar experience before I I figured it out, and uh, or I had to do the research. But then when you say uh become a scientist and all that sort of stuff, um of course you can do as much looking into stuff as as you can, but it's quite often you the thing you need isn't necessarily there, or it takes you four or five years of medical school to actually actually know know what you're talking about. Um So it's the self-advocating is of course not that's yeah, just bothering people a lot, so to speak, um, is I think is definitely a key takeaway from that whole story. Just just be relentless with your uh asking questions and and to the point that you feel annoying. Uh because you know everything else is um everything else is kind of just not really going to work or bring your satisfactory results. Um, do you think also, and and again, this is just one of those one of those things because I hear a lot of women talk about this with regards to their second pregnancy. And I don't say a lot of women, I mean able-bodied women, just straight down the middle. What you're describing with regards to your second pregnancy uh and your feelings about it and dreaming and and and waking up and checking the bed and all of that's that's very close to P PTSD, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 22:56

I mean it no, no, I mean it was it. I can say wholeheartedly that I did not enjoy being pregnant because there was always that worry. There was always something that was making me say, like, that this is this is dangerous. This is dangerous for me, this is dangerous for my baby. And there was nothing that I could really truly do to make that go away. So sure, I would agree.

PTSD Fears And Prenatal Class Limits

Peter 23:25

Yeah, I mean. So it's do you think uh did you do antenatal classes, by the way? Did you do like prenatal classes? Uh, you know, the the the standard moms sharing numbers with other moms and getting a little bit of information stuff.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

I mean, I didn't really. Um, that wasn't really um something that was offered in my program.

SPEAKER_02 23:47

Right, okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

That you know, there was uh literature and things that that we could read and um resources to be pointed towards, but nothing nothing hands-on, nothing talked about talking to any other um mothers or pregnant people.

Peter 24:05

Okay, then obviously that in in America that very much varies depending on on where you are and all that sort of stuff. In the UK, that's pretty much straight down the board. Everybody gets offered up for at least six sessions or something like that. Um, so as my dog snores in the background. Um so because it's do you think that would have helped during especially during your second pregnancy? Um being able to talk to other mothers about their experience, especially other mothers in in a somewhat similar circumstance.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

Yeah, I mean, perhaps if it was somebody else that was that used a wheelchair or had a spinal cord injury. Um, I think it I think talking with able-bodied pregnant women would not have helped.

SPEAKER_02 24:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

Um, mostly just because, you know, when my when my OBE kept telling me, I think everything's gonna be great, your body knows knows what to do and you're healthy. All of that stuff almost like hurt me to hear that. It was like that does not help the situation. You know, it actually was making me feel worse because it was making it was causing me to question her validity, if that makes any sense. Because she had no basis to tell me that I I knew my body so well that I was going to be okay.

Peter 25:30

Yeah, I suppose this is one of those circumstances that, and as you can imagine, again, like I say, I'm a middle-aged white guy who does postnatal stuff. So when I talk about lived experience being important, this is kind of what I talk about, as in from a purely, you know, if if people come to me and they say I have diet science rectum, I can fix that 100% of no 99% of the times because I know how the physical body works in the same way that you can improve any swimmer that comes to you, you can just go, listen, I've got this because I get the technical aspect of how this works. Um, it becomes a lot trickier when you're not sure of the technical aspect, and you just kind of go with the I'm guessing we'll be okay, especially when that's not what you know. If you're looking for a bit of security and all that sort of stuff, that is really not what, yeah, I guess will be fine. It's not really what you're looking for when when you have a baby in here, right? And that's where uh lived experience, someone who has gone through the same thing would probably have helped us say that this is what my experience was, uh, which is why I was so very, very keen to have you come on here because I I know I have some people listening to this that uh have a disability of some sort, um that are like, yeah, I I never hear any stories about anyone with any disability. So, what did you find?

Early Motherhood And Asking For Help

Peter 27:00

Of course, so you've given birth and we've done the whole after what how did you find life as a new mom? Uh, and again, did you just in the mountains of Colorado? So I'm guessing it's different in New York and all that sort of stuff, but still in in how did you find life and support as a new mom who happens to be uh in a wheelchair?

SPEAKER_00 27:25

You know, I think obviously um my husband is always very supportive and very helpful, um just by nature, and that's probably why I married him. And so um, you know, I needed to have a very hands-on partner for this, somebody that was able to do a lot and be around a lot, um, or it wouldn't have worked very well. Um, there's this weird time frame when my baby between about three and six months, that's really, really hard. And I think it's because the baby is big enough to where it's harder to sort of carry your baby or pick up your baby from a cradle or something, um, but not old enough to where they are very self-sufficient to be able to like climb up you. Um and so there's so there's like this really tricky middle area um where I don't actually think I could have gotten an either of my baby out of their car seat by myself.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

And so just you know, knowing that my husband was always sort of in the picture somewhere to be able to navigate, you know, the most normal world that we could create for these babies.

Peter 28:46

Yeah, and and you're saying that as someone with a good amount of upper body strength, yes, yes, because like you said, you have a manual wheelchair, you get up hills and all that sort of stuff, and you know an old friend of mine was in a wheelchair and the guy was a machine, as in not because he trained a lot and did pull-ups, and it's not I'm not talking about military sickness style, just because of the so when you say you're struggling um to lift um to to to lift a three to six month old, then you can imagine people without that level of of upper body strength would struggle with it significantly more.

SPEAKER_00 29:26

Yes, absolutely. And so I think you know, something that being paralyzed had has taught me and taught me very, very early on is that I have to be a really good problem solver and I have to be willing to look at things differently. I have to also be willing to ask for help, sure. Um, which is always something that really hits me. But um, but once, you know, once I had these babies, like I I had to do that. I had to be okay with asking for help. I had to be okay with navigating a new situation because, like I said earlier, like it wasn't just me anymore. It I had another life that I was responsible for and I was going to care for as best as I could. And um, and so I think that um that was a little bit tricky because I think in my life before having kids, I may have chosen paths or um challenges that maybe were a little bit more risky. And once I had, you know, once it was me and and baby, then it was, well, maybe I won't choose that certain path. Maybe we'll have to figure out a different way this time. And um, but I have to say that in raising two, I have two boys, um they are some of the most empathetic, compassionate kids that I've ever seen. And I think that so much of that is just from being around me and my challenges. And, you know, very early on, they they both learned when I need help. One of my favorite stories, um, and I I tell this story in my book, um, is when my my oldest was about, he was probably two years old, maybe a little bit younger, even. We were on a walk, and um we he was what he knew to walk alongside my wheel, always stay by my wheel. And um, we were going up a hill, and he came behind me and he pushed me up the hill, didn't say anything, didn't act crazy, just kind of pushed me when I needed it, and then let go when I was fine. And it was one of the most remarkable experiences because you can't teach somebody that outwardly. You can't teach them that, you know, to offer help without any expectation in return. And it was just one of the most beautiful experiences. And uh, I always think about that with my kids.

Peter 31:59

See, that sounds amazing. And like you said, it's it's I think that's a no-brainer. I think that's always a reflection on the parent, right? It's just monkey see, monkey do. I'm a big, big fan of that thing. And obviously, if your kids are very seeing you ask for help whenever you need it a lot, they get comfortable offering help and they get probably comfortable asking for help themselves. So you probably are raising, let's say, better rounded human beings.

SPEAKER_00 32:29

Yeah, I mean, I'd hope so. I uh, you know, I also it's funny because they also they don't necessarily see me the way um, you know, somebody just walking down the street sees me because sure, you know, I'll have them in the car and I'll be putting either putting my chair in, taking it apart, something like that. And often somebody will walk by and ask if I need help. And they're all my kids are always so confused why somebody would ask me if I needed help doing that. And it, you know, it makes me giggle because they they clearly see me as independent and able to take care of things, even though I do need help sometimes.

Peter 33:07

Yeah. And of course, they've seen you put the the chair in the car a million times, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

Right?

Peter 33:12

So they're like, I mean, yeah, they're like, why would you offer that this? He knows how to do your jackasses. So so um, so what did you find? So early, early, early stages of of um of looking after the kids and all that sort of stuff. Did you find that there were any practical things that you wished you'd known about or then that you wished had been in place for you or offered one way or the other?

Adaptive Gear That Actually Works

Peter 33:38

So like I said, sure.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

Yeah, no, that's great. Um, so I know with my first kid, we we spent so much time and did so much research about trying to find a stroller that would be good for me to push. And it turns out there isn't one. And I never used it. We bought this like hundred dollar stroller, it was so silly. We really never used it. And I always just wore my baby um with a wrap or some sort of a carrier, and that was always the best way. And even still today, my three-year-old, he'll want to sit on my lap and I have just this little like leftover piece of one of the carriers that we call my seat belt. So I can strap him to so that he doesn't, you know, topple over or something if we hit a bump. Um, but the stroller thing, like I am a stroller, and in that's okay.

Peter 34:26

Um make getting up a hill a lot tougher now, if you've got a three-year-old sitting on your lap as well.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

It does, but now I have an eight-year-old that can push me from behind.

Peter 34:34

See, that's the win, that's why you need two, you see.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

Exactly. Yeah. Um, let's see. I also have there's an attachment for a wheelchair. Um, it's called a fifth wheel, or maybe it's actually called a free wheel. It's called a free wheel, but we call it a fifth wheel. And um it attaches to the front, and so it's like a big, it almost looks like a stroller wheel that will then um actually lift up your front end just slightly so that you can help get through rougher terrain. Um, but I use that pretty much all the time and have since um my babies would like to sit with me because it gave it a little bit more of a safe journey because otherwise you um I'd have I'd run the risk of tipping my chair over. And so with that, that freewheel, that's not really a possibility. You can even go down like a curb with it, and so I use that a lot still. Um and then I mean, really the one thing, the crib is a big deal. And um, we were really fortunate to have our swim team members sort of gang together when I was pregnant the first time. And um, somebody's brother was a carpenter, and they actually really fit they finagled this standard crib um to where it was, they put it up on. I mean, it's it's this most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And I'm not gonna do it justice, but um they they basically put it up on stilts so that I could roll underneath it. And then the front slats, they um installed a sliding door mechanism um just built into the actual slats. Oh, um, that was like the most beautiful thing because it that then became sort of like the changing table for our kiddos, and um it gave it a really great way for me to interact with baby while they were using the crib because we were sort of eye to eye, um, just made a lot of things a lot easier. And then once they basically once my babies were able to crawl out is when we took the stilts off and then lowered it as like a normal crib and then still had that sliding option. And we literally, my my three-year-old just got rid of his like two weeks ago because he actually could open the door himself, and it was like actually it was a great way for him to sort of transition out of the crib, anyways.

Peter 36:59

See, that sounds right. Do you know if there's something like that commercially available? I available.

SPEAKER_00 37:04

I I don't know what it's called, but I actually have seen one commercially. Um, and it was kind of, and I don't think it was around when um when I was first pregnant, but it but it looks very, very similar to what we have and it's perfect. And actually, we have it packed up and ready to go to a friend of mine who uses a wheelchair that's uh I think she's 30 weeks pregnant right now. And so we're about to give it to her. And it I feel so great because it it really was such a lifesaver for us, and I'm so glad to give it to somebody that can use it too.

Peter 37:32

Yeah, it's very nice of your your son to vacate the premises uh at just the right time as well.

SPEAKER_00 37:38

Yeah, he's happy to be a big boy.

Peter 37:41

So

Why She Wrote Her Memoir

Peter 37:43

let's talk about the book. When I grow up, I want to be a chair. Um what made you write it, first of all?

SPEAKER_00 37:51

Well, you know, I look back and I don't know when I actually started writing it or for what purpose, but I really started just writing down stories about 15 years ago. And there were stories that I was constantly either telling my swimmers or I also taught high school biology for a while. And so I was telling my students just things less lessons, adventures, things like that. And so I just started writing them down and I started writing them um based on just the lesson I needed or how I felt or the challenge, the struggle. And so when I actually decided that I wanted to turn it into a book, I had to go and and figure out where do these stories actually fit because they weren't chronological, they weren't written in any sort of manner to really become a book. And um, so there was a lot of work in sort of adding dialogue and and description settings, all that kinds of stuff to really make it a full manuscript, a full, a full memoir. Um, and it wasn't until my pregnant with my second kid that I actually sat down and I said, I want to publish this. I I felt like, you know, I I at that point I knew enough about what it meant to be a mom. And there was a lot of yourself that kind of gets pushed aside when you're a mom. And there's nothing wrong or bad about that, but I really wanted to finish this one piece for myself before I had my second child. And obviously that didn't happen because my book only came out a couple months ago, but I at least got the ball rolling in the right direction. And um, what was really fun is that, you know, because I did start it so long ago, some of what actually all of what I thought that would be towards the end of the book turned into something else. It turned into meeting my husband and having children and uh taking those children on adventures and things like that. And so it really transformed my book into something completely different that I didn't know existed before.

Peter 40:04

Because just for just for the listeners, it's not a book about being pregnant and in a wheelchair, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 40:09

It's it is it is not. It's it's a it's a full memoir. Um uh the it really chronicles um my accident, my car accident that I had, but more importantly, sort of who I became out of that, and um all of the things that I've learned through just um you know being a teacher, being a coach, being a swimmer, being a traveler, being a mom, and all the things in between.

Peter 40:40

Yeah, because that's why I bring it up. This is something everybody can can and maybe should read.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

You know, and I've actually gotten a lot of um of really good feedback that um people can grab something from it. They don't have to be paralyzed or have a disability. There's um, you know, the average whoever can grab this book and really get something for themselves out of it, which is is really wonderful to hear. Um, because I didn't actually, you know, I didn't set out to change somebody else's life with you. And um I've had a lot of people say that I have, which is kind of cool.

Peter 41:18

Yeah, no, that's awesome. I mean, you know, that that is kind of when you're writing books about life experiences and and challenges you all overcome, then I suppose, you know, that is the biggest that's the thing, isn't it? That's the biggest compliment that you can probably get. It's it because, like you say, uh in the book, it's it's not about, or at least in in the blurb, um, it's not about whether you're in a wheelchair or not. It's about everybody's got their own challenges, right? And um, and everybody's got their own challenges to overcome. So I think reading stories about someone who says, listen, this is this is what I did, this is what works for me. Um, this is what my experience is, is always going to be a powerful uh story, unless I wrote a book, in which case, you know, it'd be boring because there's nothing that ever happened in my life. There's no challenges.

SPEAKER_00 42:13

Well, and I think it wasn't until I really started to put together all of my stories that I realized that there was sort of this overarching theme about all of them and how um I have learned throughout my life, whether that be because of my paralysis or because of my accident or because of whatever, that I've had all of these moments of really horrid vulnerability and challenges and struggle. And that's exactly where I learned to be the strongest. And that was something that I didn't really recognize for myself until I put it all together.

Peter 42:51

Yeah, no, that's that makes complete sense. Apologies, Lola's decided that she's had enough of being quiet. Um, on that happy note, was there anything you wanted to touch on that you feel we haven't touched on or that I missed, which happens a lot to be fair?

Links, Photos, And Book Plug

SPEAKER_00 43:09

No, I think that we had a great chat, and I would love for anybody to check out my book. It's on Amazon, available everywhere.

Peter 43:15

It is, I'm looking at it now. It is only it's I mean, you get five-star reviews and you get quite a few of them, so that's always good go, right? Um, I will link to everything. I will also link to the freewheel for anybody listening. Uh great, that's awesome. Just because you mentioned it, and I find that it's annoying when people have tips, and then the podcast host doesn't link to whatever the tip is. Um if you wouldn't mind if it's possible, if you have a picture uh of the crib.

SPEAKER_00 43:50

Yes, I do. I can send it to you.

Peter 43:52

Then yeah, that would be awesome because that way I can throw it up on social and link to it on the podcast uh description. So people know what we're talking about. Um, yeah, again, it just makes sense to do so. It does on that happy note. I will press stop record. And pressing stop record is exactly what I did. Um, thanks again. Uh thanks a million to Ryan Ray for coming on. Um I mean, I I I had a blast talking to her. I I I picked up an awful lot, um, a lot more knowledge, I think, is very useful uh to share. And of course, you know, when I want to grow when I grow up, I want to be a chair, or I want to be a chair, as we call it, is um available everywhere. I've linked to it in the podcast description. Uh, she very kindly sent uh a picture over of the the code that she uses uh that she was talking about that makes it easier for her to gain access whilst in a wheelchair. Um so I'll share that on social. Uh what else am I sharing? The freewheel and all this sort of stuff will all be in the podcast uh link description as well. You can find you can find it everywhere, you know. I'll link to her website and her Instagram and a Facebook page and all that sort of stuff. And I highly, highly, highly recommend the book. Uh so check it out. You know, um it's on Amazon, so there is no reason at all why everybody in the world can't get to it. I think it's probably on Kindle, uh Amazon Kindle as well. Um in the news this week.

NMN Supplement Warning And Hormones

Peter 45:23

Um, I'd like to quickly touch on something I've touched on before: NMN um supplementation. Um for those of you who are not familiar, I've discussed this before, uh roughly in November 2021. Um one of my clients, like I explained, was reading the book Lifespan by David Sinclair, and in it he states that he takes NMN and that everybody should, or words to that effect, everybody should really take NMN because it's a magic uh supplement. And you see this all cropping up an awful lot now, this particular supplement, uh, where they're recommending it for women who are pre-menopausal, uh, and all that perimenopausal, all that's all that sort of stuff. Um, according to David Sinclair, even men need to take this out. As I addressed before, uh, and I will link to the little uh excerpt, which is uh might have been a full podcast episode that I've spent on this. Um the problem with these supplements, um, so NMN is uh nicotinamide mononucleotide, and basically it's an anti-aging uh supplement. Now, the problem with this is that you're essentially, unless you know what dosage you should be taking, and that is not clearly described on this thing, um NMN raises your estrogen levels, for instance, right? That is kind of one of the things that that it does, and the problem with that is of course that uh if you don't need ridiculously elevated uh oestrogen levels, and most of you I would argue don't, um then take an NMN really uh does hold no benefit at all and can actually mess up your hormonal balance quite a lot, especially when you get to your um your menopausal stage. Um right when hormone levels and hormone balancing, of course, becomes a lot more important. You can't just throw a random supplement into the mix, especially for people, for instance, who are taking HRT treatment and all this sort of stuff. So you go, you get your test and you see whether you need more estrogen or you need uh progesterone. So you need I usually when you get tested for HRT, you either get uh an estrogen supplement, a progesterone supplement, or or both, a combination of both. If at the same time you're taking an NMN supplement, which is known to massively boost, especially in high dosage, you can get up to uh you can elevate your estrogen levels like 12 times or something like that. Your hormonal balance is completely and utterly off. So you need to be really careful uh when you supplement with this sort of stuff that is scientifically it might be promising, but is not yet proven to be uh ridiculously beneficial. Let me be very nice about it. And this is the problem, but I always say you know, the uh I will link to a little uh study that it's show it's NMN show an article with which links a lot of studies and slows ovarian aging and mice and all that sort of stuff. Um but the where it talks about raising uh estrogen levels in mice, because of course, you know, as we've all as I've mentioned before, and all the NMN studies um that I came across at the time of doing the original um doing the original episode last year and November last year, so that's six months or so ago, were had all been done on mice. So the benefits for people were a little bit um were not proven yet. Let me put it that way, this way. Um so just be careful because unless you're very careful with dote dosage for these sort of supplements, you're messing with your hormonal balance in an epic, epic way. Um and most of these things are not, you know, when my vet comes round to which you'll do and uh whisper it, uh, because all the dogs are here, but when the vet comes around in uh a month or two to give all the dogs their boosters and all that sort of stuff, the first thing she does is weigh all the dogs, right? Because dosage matters for for this stuff, the dosage is not clearly defined, and it just says take a scoop or something like that on quite a few supplements. And a hundred kilogram man needs significantly more, or let's put it this way, 50 kilogram woman needs significantly less than a hundred kilogram man does. Uh, we accept this for for uh calorie intake and all that sort of stuff, but we don't seem to be very good at accepting that for um for supplementation when it comes to um what you recommend the daily allowances. So if you're considering taking this stuff, and I don't recommend you do, by the way, just make it very clear. I don't recommend any stuff that's only ever been tested on mice. Right? I would like a bit more information on that first. But um if you're thinking about taking this sort of stuff, please, please, please take a small dosage early, get regular blood tests, get regular hormone tests just to see what the effect on your body actually is. In in the case of my client, it completely messed up. She was already on a progesterone supplement, uh, and it completely messed up her hormonal balance and she couldn't sleep and she felt nauseous and and and and all that sort of stuff. Just because, you know, you're you're you're screwing everything up when you're trying to fix one thing. Uh when you think you're trying to when you think you're doing a good thing by taking a health supplement that is recommended by somebody whose book you read, um, it's not necessarily the case that it is actually healthy. It sounds obvious, but you know, it's tempting. A lot of these

Next Week And Sign-Off

Peter 51:36

people are indirectly or directly selling you stuff uh by hyping a product up, even before it's actually well tested. So be careful with this stuff. That's all I'm saying. Anyways, that's the podcast done for yet another week. Um next week I have an interview and we're talking adoption, uh, reality versus expectations, uh, which was a wonderful interview. I'm hoping to get that out next week. Anyways, you have a tremendous week, and I'll check in on you next week. Right? Bye now.